I'm Not in Love - 10cc
"Don't look at me like that,
I'll start to believe that maybe even someone like me can find it,
Find love."
JFK Airport.
What hadn't been said about the notoriously strictest airport in the world? I watched as the security guards and airport security surgically dissected each of our suitcases making sure that nothing was inside them, and for a brief second, I wished that they would hurry up just so I could pass the barriers.
"So, what's your business in leaving America?"
"I'm going to Australia with my class," I replied in perfect English, watching as the guard's eyes widened in surprise as he heard my surprisingly British accent. "Then after Australia, I'm going to Cairo and then London. Do you mind hurrying up with my bag? I sorta have a flight to catch."
Predictably, all this did was infuriate the guards as they searched through my stuff for extra time.
"Thanks, asshole," I muttered under my breath as Setsuna and Denki waited for me on the other side. Jiro had been stopped and asked to sign a young family's autographs. "Honestly, I can't wait to just go back home and never have to deal with this bullshit ever again. I fucking hate airports."
Setsuna hummed at that.
"True. Maybe when we are Heroes we can just charter private flights?"
"That's bad for the environment."
"Since when have you cared about the environment?" Denki asked me with a smirk. "But I do agree with you. This shit is so long. Why can't we just, I don't know, teleport or something."
Setsuna raised her eyebrow at that.
"Do you know anyone with a teleportation Quirk?!"
Denki pointed at me.
"How can I teleport?!"
"Well, isn't your biological father Kurogiri? He has a teleportation Quirk."
"You dimwit. He was experimented on," I replied with a huff. Fuck, he was right, why the hell couldn't I have a teleportation Quirk?! "Anyways, sure I could fly but it wouldn't end well. I'd lose concentration cause we would need to sleep and then we would plummet to our deaths."
"Drink a Red Bull!"
"You can't substitute sleep for a Red Bull!"
Our bickering didn't change anything as we waited for the fourth member of our unofficial group to come rushing past, her hair a mess which only made me want to reach out and untangle it for her - But Denki beat me to the punch, as both Jiro's boyfriend and the one that she loved. I slowly trailed behind them as their hands locked together, and the sickening feeling of jealousy coursed through my body, because just as predictable as I was, so was my heart.
Thankfully, I wasn't the only one who could understand how I was feeling.
"None of that. We're on holiday," Setsuna told me with a grin tugging at her lips as she took my hand into hers, our arms swinging wildly in the air like we were vines in the jungle. "Turn that frown upside down, Sora! Or do you want me to lean in closer so you can pretend that you aren't in love with her?"
"I'm not pretending."
"You haven't called her by her first name in quite a while. I told you a while back, did I not? Matters of the heart only hurt you in the end if you don't accept them," Setsuna chastised me, but she couldn't stop the smile on her face from making it feel more playful than something that needed to be changed. "...Don't be such a mardy bum. You know that song?"
I rolled my eyes at her.
"Arctic Monkeys, right?"
"Oi. You have a problem with them?"
"Not really. They do seem like your type of band."
Setsuna bristled at that.
"What do you think my favourite music even is?!"
"Er…" I paused at that. "Well, Arctic Monkeys for one. I bet you're also a fan of J-Pop, none of that new shit probably indie J-Pop that's older than us - I also think you're also into some Italian indie-rock bands. Not that I know them. You're just an indie-rock girl."
Setsuna hummed at that.
"You're not wrong. What about Jiro?"
"What about her?"
"Her music taste."
"Oh… She's more into the shoegaze scene. Or was. Heh, my love for shoegaze and alternative metal stems from her at the end of the day," I told Setsuna truthfully. "...I love rap, I still do. I could never get Jiro to listen to Kendrick Lamar and appreciate his music, you know? Or even J Cole. Or Lil Uzi. Or anyone from the American rap scene. She just never gave them a chance, oddly enough."
Hm.
It always stuck out to me.
I was always forced to listen to her music but she never once cared for my music.
…
"So, er, you want to listen to music on the plane to Sydney?" Setsuna asked me, brushing aside a bang of her hair behind her ear. "The flight is nearly a full day with a break included at an airport in Asia. Hong Kong, I think. I'll admit, I haven't given rap a full listen, but I'm down to listen to your music so long as you'll listen to my indie-rock playlist. I know you like Tame Impala, but do you know anyone else?"
I laughed at that.
"Does Nirvana count?"
Setsuna's frosty glare was the only response I got.
"Does Nirvana-, My god, you don't know anything about indie-rock, do you?!" Setsuna asked me as if I had committed a war crime, tugging my arm fiercely. "How about this! You play me one song and I'll play you one song! And afterwards, we rate them? That sounds fair, right? Oh, I think you'll love MGMT and Radiohead-, Oh, you'll deffo love The Strokes and Gorillaz!"
I grinned as Setsuna went on to name a bunch of bands that mildly sounded familiar to me.
Her eyes shone with excitement and she described to me why she liked every one of those bands, trying to explain why I'd like them too. Time seemed to pass slowly as Setsuna's grin provided me with a warmth I couldn't quite decipher - But the message was clear for both my body and my mind to understand.
Setsuna Tokage was like my Sun.
And I was simply a planet, happy to orbit around her no matter what.
"Why are you grinning lecherously at me?" Setsuna snorted at me. "Do you want me to punch you in the face? Don't tempt me. That said, I'm surprised you aren't into more indie rock. I'm excited to see what you'll put on when it comes to rap! Hehe. Oh, you also want to watch a movie on the flight?"
I nodded in agreement.
"Yeah. Sounds great. You want me to quickly go pick up some snacks for us?"
"Sure. Urhm… Meet each other on the flight?"
Yui Kodai, Yanagi and a bunch of other Class B girls were waiting for Setsuna so that they could go explore the airport as they looked at the two of us in amusement. I turned to look at the group of boys from Class A that were waiting for me - The only other bastards who weren't in a relationship - Bakugo and Ojiro were arguing about something, Iida was trying to calm them down while Sero and Kirishima were laughing to themselves despite what was going on.
"Ur-, Yeah," I replied with a nod for a brief second, and I wondered if we should hug or not. It was awkward as Setsuna reached out to say goodbye to me physically while I shied away, but when I tried to do the same back she scooted away. "Aha… Uhm… What snacks do you want?"
"I -, Er-, don't mind. What drinks do you want? Energy? Cola? I'll pay."
"I don't mind, whatever you want to drink."
…
…
…
Why the fuck was this so awkward?!
Watching her walk away as she waved at me made me all the more aware of the fact that right now, I was more alone than ever. But I didn't have any time to think over that as the circus of single Class A boys looking to turn the entire airport into a band full of crazed monkeys made their way over to me, and I knew that I'd forget about the brief awkward moment that had just happened.
"Yamazaki! Let's go and try and shoplift!"
"Bakugo! Don't say that so loudly!"
"Why not, you shitty four-eyed fuck?"
I sighed at their tone of voice.
Some things just never change.
Chapter
Eighty-Six
'The World is Ending (But My Life is Just Starting)'
Perhaps it was a blessing that it was only Setsuna and I sitting in the same row.
"So? What are your thoughts on Fluorescent Adolescent?"
"I really like it," I told her with a grin. "So, er, what do you want to play next?"
"It's your turn."
"So?"
"I respect the deal we made, Sora. Hurry up. Play another Kanye song."
I rolled my eyes at her.
"Alright. Here is one - Technically this is a Drake song, but Kanye made it and wrote it for his album '808s and Heartbreak' but he first gave it away to Rhianna and then Drake. But the song was then performed by Kanye over a decade later at a concert," I explained to Setsuna who nodded at the story I told her. "So this is that version of the song overlayed with the original beat and an extra bit at the end of the song. It's called Find Your Love."
"Oh! I know this song!"
I blinked at Setsuna in apprehension.
"Er… You sure?"
"Yeah! I better find your love, I better find your heart! We're talking about the same song, right?" Setsuna asked me as she clicked her fingers around to signal that she somewhat knew the song she was talking about. "Haha, that is a great song to be fair. And Kanye made it? What, three years before Drake even performed it? What version of the song do you prefer?"
"Me?"
Setsuna rolled her eyes as she bit into her apple Chupa-Chups.
"No, I meant the bloody devil. Of course, I meant you."
"Well, I have nostalgia for the Drake version. Pretty sure it was the first song I ever heard from him before he went all wacko and became a 'gangster' instead of the nerdy love-song guy," I replied honestly. "But ultimately, I do think that Kanye's version is just more personal, you know? I mean Kanye is a wacko too. Don't get me wrong. But his version of 'Find Your Love' just means so much to me - After everything that happened he at least once performed a version of the song that was originally his."
"I see. Hey, wanna' listen to the Vaccines right after?"
"I thought we were going to watch Treasure Planet."
Setsuna grinned as she opened another packet of sour sweets.
"Why not do both?"
"Fine, fine. Just let me go to the toilet quickly," I replied, and Setsuna's face fell slightly. "...I'm not going to vomit up blood. If you do want to make sure of that, you're welcome to come to the toilet with me."
"For sex?"
"You wish. This isn't Toxic by Brittany Spears."
"Huh?"
"Ugh… The music video for the song involves her grinding on a man in a toilet on a plane," I explained to her. "Never watched the video? Honestly, the first time I saw that when I was a kid I knew that I loved women. Just Brittany Spears in general. And then I found out about Shakira and Beyonce. Damn."
Setsuna giggled at that.
"Oh? I bet they were part of your spank bank for years."
"I do not wish to discuss the material I wank to with you of all people."
Unfortunately, Setsuna took that as a challenge to press me against the window with a smirk on her lips as she began to list out names of famous women that I may or may have not 'rubbed one' out over.
"Lady Gaga? Emma Watson? Emma Stone? Natalie Portman? Anne Hathway? Kirstin Dunst? Who? WHO?" Setsuna asked. "Come on, Yamazaki, start giving me names or else I'll be convinced that you didn't have a childhood… Wait, you don't mean you rub one out over celebrities here do you?"
…
Setsuna's cackle reminded me much like a witch who had captured the dumbass that walked on her property. In all honesty, whatever witchcraft was waiting for me was something that I would just have to accept along with its consequences for my foolishness in challenging her to a competition like this.
"Mount Lady? Ryukyu? I don't think you would look at Miriko like that. You're not into that type of woman," Setsuna reasoned, and she wasn't exactly wrong. "Oh… What about any of the lovely Class A ladies? Aha, why are you blushing? Have you ever thought of having 'private study lessons' with them? I bet you've imagined Momo's momo's bouncing up and down on your-,"
"SHUT. UP."
Setsuna sighed.
"Aw. I bet you've gone stiff. Need help in the toilet to relieve yourself?"
"You are a horrible, twisted and conniving piece of work. I hope you know that," I told Setsuna as I got up from my seat and walked to the main aisle. "You know, one day you'll regret ever teasing me like this. I swear. I pray that whoever you eventually end up marrying can take you and your shitty comments. For your information, I have never looked at my friends that way!"
"...Says the guy who dated his best friend from middle school."
Grk.
Shit, she got me there.
"I bet you definitely spanked one out over Jiro," Setsuna teased me with a sly grin. "Maybe even her getting together with Kaminari since you could be a closeted cuck-,"
…
Setsuna's face quickly fell as she realised what she said.
"O-oh. Sorry…" She quickly apologised, her eyes refusing to meet mine as she flinched away at my eyesight. "That's not a funny topic, I know. Really, I'll try not to mention her and Kaminari in that way ever again. It's not funny, you're right. Again, I'm so sorry for-,"
I scoffed at her, waving it away.
"Oh, fuck you. That was a good line and you know it," I told her with a grin. "Even if it's the worst thing I've ever heard, it was funny. Don't apologise when you know that I don't really give a shit about it. We both know I need to get over her anyways, but like you said matters of the heart aren't so easily solved."
Setsuna chuckled at that.
"Right. Who knows who may be waiting for you on the other side?"
"Lady Death most likely. Reckon she's hot?"
"Totally. Her and her bony structure. You better tell me how it feels to fuck a corpse when we meet in Hell, Sora," Setsuna replied with a wink. "...Hurry up and go to the bathroom. I'll set up our movie. Which one did you say we should watch? Donnie Darko or Tron Legacy?"
"Not Donnie Darko. That movie has a plane crash. Sorta."
Setsuna rolled her eyes at me again.
"So?"
"I thought you wouldn't want to test it."
"With all the flights we've had over the past two weeks, I'm not afraid of these machines anymore," Setsuna told me with a confident grin. "What about you? Are you still a wuss about planes? I'm down to watch Donnie Darko if you want to. I heard good things about it, plus Jake Gyllenhaal is in it."
"Yeah, but Drew Barrymore plays a hot teacher."
"Ah. You definitely wanked over Midnight."
I lightly tapped my nose in response, watching as Setsuna bit the inside of her cheek.
"A gentleman never tells. And pray tell, what about you?"
"Oh, I can willingly admit I've fingered myself to thoughts about Hawks coming to save me, or even your Uncle giving me a private tutoring session with spanking," Setsuna freely told me, making me cringe. I was so thankful that we were speaking in Japanese and not English. "Honestly, I can't even blame you. We just have hot teachers. Sorta makes me want to be the best student in the tournament so that I get praised by them - Oh, are you surprised that I'm attracted to your Uncle?"
"Can you stop saying that?"
"You should hear what Mina says about what she wants Aizawa and Present Mic to double team-,"
"Okay, too weird now."
"But it wasn't weird for you to explain in detail how you lecherously look at Midnight's bouncing tits?" Setsuna teased me. "Or how you stare at my perky arse in training? Don't think I haven't caught you staring at it. If you want, come over here and you can feel it - But only one squeeze. You'll have to pay for a second."
"Shut up. Whore."
"Ironic coming from the man who allegedly sleeps around."
"You started the rumour."
"Mmh, technically, you lied to Jiro first about it," Setsuna corrected with a hum. "But now it's become the truth. Funny how things have turned out. The virgin is now perceived as the man who sleeps around and may have a secret harem."
I tilted my head at her in confusion.
"What does that make you?"
"The leader of your harem. By force. You're mine, Sora Yamazaki."
"...Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be able to shit in peace now. Well, at least, I'll try to poop knowing that I have a deranged psychotic woman after me," I told her. "But at least get in line. I have a few people that want to kill me, some aren't even women. Funny that. If I were into guys, I'd probably be called a Bisexual King."
"You could still be called a Bisexual King."
"I lack the prerequisite for that nickname. King doesn't roll off the tongue, you know?"
Setsuna sighed at that.
"That's a shame. I'd totally be into you and Kaminari Eiffel-towering me," Setsuna pouted. "Maybe with that bitch Jiro watching on the cuck-chair herself. Or would you ditch me to please her?"
"I'm very uncomfortable with this conversation."
"Uh-huh. Or maybe you'd want a threesome with me and Jiro?"
"I'd rather not."
"Really? Two hot chicks? Come on."
"Jiro is in a committed relationship, and you're a deranged selfish lunatic."
"So? You'll be fucking her then I'll grab the strap-on and be fucking your arse, call that a sandwich," Setsuna poetically told me. "I'm joking. Sorry, to say but threesomes nor any sense of fucking a man's arse does it for me, I kinda find it weird - All these sly comments aside, I'd be a committed girlfriend. You know, the type to carry scissors around to stab any woman who dares to look at my man."
"You know that's why you're single, right?"
"No, that's because of my tsundere tendencies."
"Keep on telling yourself that."
"Enjoy your shit!"
"I think I'm going to enjoy it even less now."
It didn't take long to find the bathroom, only for it to be preoccupied. I sighed to myself, tapping my foot impatiently against the floor as I awaited for whoever was inside to hurry the fuck up and finish up in there.
What were the fuck were they doing in there?
Having a party?
Click.
I watched in surprise as the door slid open to reveal Kaminari, leaning against the sink with a phone pressed onto his ear. Perhaps it was the fact that I was expecting a man on the shitter reading the news or the fact that Denki wasn't expecting to be caught on the phone with someone that we both didn't say anything for a few seconds.
"Sorry… Dad… something came up. Yeah, I'll be sure to send lots of love to you from Sydney. Just make sure you buy those chrysanthemums from Kyoto soon," Kaminari hurriedly told the other man on the phone. "And make sure that little Jin-chan eats his vegetables and behaves else you can threaten him that I won't buy him any souvenirs. Yeah, bye."
"..."
"..."
"So, er," I paused to point at the ceiling. "Can you make calls on the plane?"
"I used the wifi. Whatsapp."
"Oh. Jin?"
"My younger brother," Denki answered with a smile. "...You haven't seen my adoptive family in years, to be fair. They are in Tokyo and it's not like we've had the free time lately. Wish they could come and support me for the tournament, but they're going to be in Kyoto for a quick vacation then back to work. Heh."
I nodded at that.
"Damn. Everyone's parents are coming to support them. Apart from Setsuna and now yours."
But Denki rolled his eyes at me.
"Dude. Tokage has you. She doesn't need anyone else."
"I mean we're best friends, that doesn't mean it wouldn't have been nice for your parents to have come and cheered you on even if you had me," I reminded him. "Anyways, I need to take a shit. And by the looks of it, you've spent so much time away from your girlfriend she started to watch the movie you two were watching all alone. Got an apology in mind?"
Denki shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't really care."
"Huh? You know how Jiro gets if you don't apologise."
"Well, I'm tired. I'll apologise to her when I wake up, she can understand that at the very least. I'll leave you to shit in peace, my brother," Denki told me with a grin as he dramatically bowed down at me. "I hope that your shit is filled with fortune and peace. I shall endeavour to make sure that my sleep is the same. We have another fifteen hours of this damn flight, ugh."
And that was the crux of the problem.
Why the hell was this flight so damn long?
Australia.
I didn't think that when I arrived in August that I'd be freezing my fucking balls off, and neither did a lot of Class A as Bakugo who wore shorts and a Hawaiian shirt was cursing so furiously it'd make a sailor blush.
Not that Yaoyorozu even corrected him as she hugged her bags for warmth, but-,
"I told you it would be Winter here!" Iida chastised everyone, waving his arm around robotically. "But no one listened to me! Thankfully, I made sure to pack a coat from everyone in my suitcase-,"
"Where did you get our coats?"
"I used the master key to enter all your rooms."
Everyone groaned at that.
"Dude. That's fucked up!"
"Yeah, ever heard of privacy?"
"Fuck you, man! Ptoo!"
Iida rolled his eyes at all the reactions, opening his suitcase for tons of coats and jackets that had been all rolled up neatly and fell to the floor with a dull thud. It didn't take long for everyone to reach out for a jacket, and I had to look away as Jiro and Denki playfully held each other close, helping their respective partner put on their coats as they complimented one another.
Tsk.
Stop being a prat, Sora.
"Hey… Where's my coat?" I asked Iida. "Dude…"
I watched as Iida's eyes widened in surprise.
"Oh… Oh…"
"...You totally forgot my coat, didn't you?"
"..."
I sighed at that, rubbing my hands together. Oh well, at least the bitter cold would keep me awake and not vomiting up blood in the toilet, that was better than nothing - Or that were my thoughts until Yaoyorozu threw me her wallet.
"Go buy a coat from a clothes store in the airport," She told me with a smile. "And you don't owe me a single thing. After all, if someone had invited me in on his plan to bring everyone's coats, maybe yours wouldn't have been forgotten. Isn't that right, Iida?"
"Er… Right."
"I'll come with you," Jiro added. "It's not like you know style."
"I do."
"No, you really don't," Jiro replied, dragging my arm as we left Class A. "We'll be back in a moment, so just wait outside for us! Oh, and tell Aizawa-sensei that it's going to rain soon so we might as well try and hire a coach to get to our hotel!"
I didn't have much of a choice as Jiro took me to a lot of stores in just a few short minutes.
All designer shops too.
"I don't like this," I told her as she forced me to try out a puffer jacket. "It's annoying."
"But it's fashionable."
"It doesn't represent me."
"Fine, how about this?" Jiro handed me a dark blue raincoat. "It's stylish."
"Still not a fan."
"But…"
"What part of I don't like it do you understand?!" I snapped at her. "We're two different people with different styles and preferences, and that's okay. You don't do this with Denki, do you?!"
Jiro blinked at me in surprise, slowly shaking her head.
"No… I don't."
"So then, why do you-,"
"Years ago, we always went shopping together with the rest of our middle-school friends," Jiro cut me off with a wet smile. "You always picked out things that used to clash with your blue hair, and you always went to me for help. I forgot that we aren't in middle school anymore and that you don't need me to help pick out coats for you that don't make you look like a clown."
…
"I do need you, Jiro."
And for the first time in a long time, I watched as she stilled at that.
Before she laughed at my words.
"Sora, we're both eighteen. You don't need me, not the way you once did," Jiro told me truthfully. "You've outgrown the need for someone to help you pick out coats you like. I'm sorry, I forgot my place. You know, you aren't the only one who forgets that we're not in the past anymore, hehe. But seriously, you keep on eyeing up that green coat over there. Don't go for it, no girl is ever going to look at you for more than a few seconds without their eyes hurting you."
Hm.
Funnily enough, I didn't want to wear the coat.
But I did like the colour.
It reminded me of someone's eyes…
I wonder if Setsuna would laugh at the coat.
"I agree," I told Jiro, picking out a dark green jacket nearby. "That's why I'm going with this. It's cheap too, I don't want to take the piss using Yaoyorozu's money. It's more my style too, you know?"
And Jiro laughed at that.
"Yeah, I suppose so. I'm still not a fan of it, but it does suit you."
Huh.
I hummed at that.
"...Did you ever like my style?"
"Not really," Jiro replied honestly. "I'm sort of thankful in a sense that Denki's style matches mine, and we don't really have a lot of fights over what to wear on a date like we did. Because if you don't remember, it's not like you were a fan of my style either."
And, she was right.
Even though she wore boots, jeans, her purple coat and a choker, her style was far too different from mine. Or rather, her style wasn't something I appreciated or thought looked good, even if it suited her and her personality.
So then… What did I like about her…?
…
"Sora?"
"I-, Er-, I have a question for you."
Jiro tilted her head in confusion at that.
"Yeah?"
"Before I came back. How were you doing?"
I hadn't ever asked her that, ever since I came back I forgot to ask a real question about her. Had I been so lost in my love for her that I forgot to even know how she was doing before I came back to U.A.?
Did I ask anyone that, or did I just roll with it as always?
"I was doing fine without you," Jiro honestly answered. "I won't lie and say that since you've come back that my life hasn't gotten more interesting, because it has. But I was doing fine, I was hanging in there focusing on my life and my happiness. I guess, well, you came because you weren't, right?"
I-,
I wasn't happy back then.
But even now, I don't know if I could still answer that question.
"...What even is happiness?" I found myself asking, putting the jacket down. "I mean, seriously, everyone always harps on about it. Making others smile? Making myself smile? It's just all bullshit, no?"
Yet, Jiro giggled at me.
"Sora, you're a big overthinker."
"Yeah?"
"You've always been a big overthinker. You tend to get lost in that head of yours, to the point where maybe you misread your big heart," Jiro explained to me, jabbing her thumb into my chest. "What even is happiness? You're the guy who lazed around and spent more time with us than training, that was happiness. Even if it led to sour memories later on, the truth is that those days spent together were some of our best - So far."
I frowned at that.
"But those days are over."
"And?"
And…
I don't want them to be over.
They were good memories - They were in the past, yet, they were everything to me.
To Jiro, they were just another day in her life that'd hopefully be quadruple what I managed to reach. Another memory to look back on after having lived a fulfilling life, but I couldn't ever be like her.
Like any of them.
The truth is that those days spent together are the only memories I really have of this life.
Of being Sora Yamazaki.
Proof that I once lived.
…
"Yo!"
"Hey!"
I waved at Ojiro and Koda as we awkwardly sat around the small cafe, with Aizawa sitting to my left. That was our group for the few patrols we'd have in Sydney. There wasn't much to do in Australia either, not for a lack of trying, but if anything everyone was far more interested in the tourism aspect of things.
Not that I didn't mind going to the Sydney Opera House, but it wasn't really my style either.
"So, what now?" I asked Aizawa, swirling my spoon around within my coffee. "I bet you'll make sure that our patrols will be as boring as possible, so can't we just go back to the hotel and nap?"
Ojiro laughed at that.
"C'mon, it won't be that bad!" Ojiro replied, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. "Everyone is recognising Jiro and Midoriya, it sorta' makes me feel bad, y'know? I want to be as popular as them too."
I hummed at that.
"Yeah. Don't think you have the capability for that, though. You're a bit too plain."
And like always, Ojiro comically stilled as he glared at me - Though thankfully, he didn't flip out like he did when we were younger. Despite that, I sighed for being an asshole and forgetting that if there was one thing that set Ojiro off, it was being called 'plain' more than anything.
Thankfully, Aizawa came to my rescue… not without rolling his eyes at me first.
"Patrols aren't meant to be interesting. If they are, we'll deal with them, but I'd rather a boring patrol where nothing happens because that's a good sign," Aizawa replied. "And Ojiro, you know by now that a single patrol won't change your reputation. Just be happy that even despite not having graduated yet, all of you are Heroes that the entire country of Japan-, The entire world is looking at."
Yet, Ojiro grumbled at that.
"Well sensei, I'm not exactly first in line to be earning millions, now am I?" Ojiro complained, clicking his tongue in annoyance. "Even when we graduate, some of our classmates are going to be millionaires. If they already aren't wealthy enough. I'd be lucky to be a millionaire at the end of my career."
Aizawa shrugged his shoulders at that.
"Does it truly matter? I thought you wanted to help people?"
"I do. I also want money and fame," Ojiro answered honestly. "Just like anyone else, y'know?"
"Ah. See that's what makes you plain."
"...What did you say?"
"Dude, come on now. That's plain."
"I swear I'll-,"
"PLAIN!" I cut him off with a grin. "...Anyways, it's not like the public knows what a good Hero is anyway. Motherfuckers like them worship anyone who smiles at them and goes to Hero cons. You're not someone who has ever cared for publicity, Ojiro. So why the change now?"
Koda nodded at that.
"I agree. This is uncharacteristic for you."
Ojiro sighed, briefly looking away as he drummed his fingers against the cafe table nervously.
"We're graduating in a few months. Three years of our life we can't ever get back, and I mean, what do I have to show for it? What can I be proud of outside of being a Hero alongside everyone else?" Ojiro bitterly replied. "And even then, even if I do more charity work, even if I capture a big villain - I'll always be seen as just that guy. Too plain to remember, outshined by everyone else even if I work hard."
"That's…"
"The unfortunate reality of our business," Aizawa sighed. "You're right, Ojiro. Out of everyone in your class, the one who has worked the hardest has been you. If anyone deserves to be the most famous Hero from your class, it is you, the only student who has consistently been working hard to overcome your weaknesses. To truly evolve as a Hero. As it stands, I can't think of something for you to work on, everything is good enough to the point where you're a great all-rounder."
Yet, despite the praise, Ojiro snorted at that.
"Yeah, jack-of-all-trades, not a master of a single one."
"Is there anything wrong with that?" I asked him in confusion. "I mean, mate, compared to everyone else you're the one with the best head on your shoulders. You work hard. Sure, unlike Midoriya who positions himself as the next successor of All Might's will, or Bakugo with his freakish talent, or even Todoroki with his links you are a genuine big member of our class, we all are."
"It's not the same, Sora. You wouldn't understand."
"Huh? Why?"
"Because you aren't at the bottom of the class like us," Koda whispered. "You're not in the same boat as the rest of us, you have goals and you strive to achieve them - Being a Hero is a means to an end. And even if it wasn't, you're someone who does his own thing anyway. What would you know about wanting to be known? You have a flashy Quirk. Compared to the rest of us, you're easy to market."
"That's…"
Tsk.
"Fuck that shit," I snarled, standing up from the table. "That's stupid! I don't care if you think that's your reality, it's just all a bunch of bullshit and I'm going to prove you wrong! Get up! Both of you!"
"Eh?"
"...Why?"
I grinned, putting a cigarette in my mouth.
"I'm going to show you just how wrong you truly are."
The streets of Sydney were empty as we roamed them, looking for people willing to talk to us. The sun was hanging low as most people were walking around gearing up for their night out at the pub, or even a club as they rushed past us ignoring the fact that Japanese Heroes were in their country.
It was sort of nice being ignored.
Back in Japan it was impossible to get away with this - Even in Italy and America it was still a bit difficult. It didn't mean that we didn't get the odd few stares every now and then, but I still pushed on even if the results I had gotten weren't exactly great.
"My favourite Hero? Er, mate, not going to lie it's probably Thunderstrike. Greatest Aussie Hero, ya' know? Cool fucking power too. Shit, the fact that he wears a pair of thongs while fighting crime is fuckin' crazy, right?"
That was when I learnt that Australians call their sandals 'thongs'.
"Oh! It has to be All Might! Great guy, a shame he died a few months back."
"Star and Stripes! She's a fuckin' unit."
"I'm a big fan of the new Aussie Hero 'Ashy-Boy' and his flashy Rocket Quirk!"
Sighing, I sat down on the side of the kerb, taking a small drag from my cigarette as I took in the sight of the Sydney Opera House in the distance. Despite everything, the orange sky melded into the ornate white monument that represented all that was wrong with the world: theatre.
Tsk.
"What's wrong?"
"The opera house is a stain on an otherwise great city," I replied to Aizawa's question with a snort. "Do we have to go to watch a play tomorrow? Really? I'm not a fan of theatre. Shit sucks."
"Rude. You like films, don't you? What's the difference?"
"I-,"
"Oh, that's because Jiro's really into theatre and it always pissed you off," Ojiro cut me off with a smirk. "I remember it all, actually. Back when you were together you always got into arguments because she wanted to watch more theatre with you as a date and you hated the idea of it. To the point where even when you were dragged you made sure to try and ruin it for her."
…
I took another drag at that.
"You make it seem like we were incompatible."
"That's exactly what I'm saying," Ojiro replied, lightly kicking me. "Don't get all prissy on me now man, aren't you the one who called me plain? Don't dish out shit when you can't take it back, asshole. So, are we done? Did you realise how futile it was? Or are you going to keep on thinking about Jiro, the woman who you never really ever truly loved? It's a pathetic act to gain sympathy from others."
Tch.
I stood back up, throwing my cigarette on the floor before putting it out.
"You wanna' say that shit again, dickhead? I don't know what I've done recently to piss you off, but say something like that again and I'll stamp your fucking head in before I piss all over your grave," I angrily retorted. "Talking to me with that bullshit. Fuck would you know about love, Ojiro? What? You sad that you got no attention from anyone else, you dumb fucking-,"
"Unlike you, I don't care about all that. But I suppose not everyone can stomach watching the girl they like to date someone way better than them-,"
I grabbed him by his collar, flinging him to the floor before I-,
"ENOUGH!" Aizawa yelled, grabbing my arm as he pulled me away from Ojiro. "...We're in public. Ojiro, I take back what I said. I understand that you may not get along well with Sora, but-,"
Ojiro snorted at that.
"Not get along well with him? Do you even hear yourself? Ever since he came back, I've ignored him. So has Koda. And so have many other people in our class," Ojiro angrily bit back. "You know, I'm tired of acting like I don't care anymore. Yamazaki, surely you realised it a while back, right? Is that why you've maintained your small circle? For someone who came back to make 'amends' you've done jack shit to make shit right apart from a shitty apology we didn't ask for. I'm never going to be your friend again."
Aizawa frowned at that, opening his mouth to shout at Ojiro but I raised my hand.
"...Yeah?"
"Yeah, that's damn right," Ojiro added. "And you can make up with others who don't have a spine, but I do. I don't care how much you've changed, how much you've grown, because once we graduate I don't wanna see you again. You spent tonight trying to prove me wrong, maybe in a misguided attempt to show that we're close or still friends - I don't need you to do anything for me, Sora Yamazaki. I may be plain, but I can stand on my own two feet and don't need someone like you to support me."
Nodding at that, I stuffed my hands into my pockets.
Right.
"...Do you feel the same way, Koda?"
And the quiet boy nodded at that.
"I do. Thank you for trying to prove us wrong, but the truth is that Heroes with Flashy Quirks are always going to be popular, that's just how the industry works. No. People want Heroes to be flashy," Koda added. "I don't need you to try and support me, Sora. We may be classmates, but that doesn't mean that we are friends. We felt abused. And we may have forgiven you for that abuse, and some have chosen to reach out and give you another chance - They don't speak for the rest of us. Thank you for still being kind to us, but that kindness is better used for others who are your friends."
Numbly, I started at the two of them.
They are a far cry from the first years who were afraid of the League of Villains, or perhaps they were never afraid. After all, it's not like I really knew them outside of the memories I shared with them of those times back then-,
Yeah…
…It's not a surprise after all.
I couldn't reconnect with everyone in Class A.
Even if I reached out, not everyone cared to try again.
"You two… This is…"
"Drop it, Uncle," I told Aizawa with a smile, lighting up another cigarette. "I don't blame them one bit. In their eyes, all I ever did was abuse them. I bet secretly they're happy that I'm going to die one day. Because ultimately, I was someone who misused your trust and hurt you over and over again. I revealed your darkest secrets and fears to hurt you. No amount of apologising is ever going to retract what I said, what I did, and nor do I want it to."
I paused, taking a small drag as the smoke irritated my eyes.
"You two sure grew up. Fair enough, I can't blame ya' there."
They didn't say anything, nor did I need them to.
After all, that was life.
Things don't always go your way.
"Well, see ya'!" I replied, waving at them as I walked the other way. "Don't worry Uncle, I'll see you at the hotel! I'm just going to get some food, alright? I'll be back in an hour or so, trust me."
And Aizawa let me go with a tired sigh.
I didn't get a goodbye from the others.
Not that I expected it.
Walking through the chilly city, I was thankful that my cigarette warmed me up as I followed my feet to wherever it took me. I didn't even care when people bumped into me because of how densely populated the streets were, I simply nodded at their apologies as I continued to just walk for as long as I could.
The orange sky turned dark, and eventually, the people either went home or were still partying as I leaned against a railing overlooking the Sydney Opera House once more. My hands were tucked into my pockets as I stared at the starry night sky, the smoke from my cigarette still irritating my eyes.
Tsk, why'd it have to make me start crying…
…
"...Hey. What's cooking, good-looking?"
To my left, Setsuna stood there holding a four-pack of beer. And under the moonlight, I dropped my cigarette in shock as I took her in, her presence illuminating the surrounding area. She wore a black leather jacket, a pair of loose-fitting jeans and an oversized sweater - But it fit her personality entirely. It wasn't as if this was her style because she could go on to wear something entirely different the next day and I'd still think she looked great.
Setsuna could pull anything off because she had the confidence for it.
She was the type of woman to buy something because it looked nice even if she didn't have the perfect outfit for it, she could at the very least try her hardest to eventually find the right clothes to match it.
In contrast, Jiro never really cared about it that much.
She only wore the same things over and over again, even now. It always bothered me that I was forced to get new clothes when she wasn't; her idiosyncrasies weren't ones I particularly enjoyed considering I always did my best to ignore them.
Lest it caused an argument.
"Hey, is that a new jacket?" Setsuna asked me excitedly, pointing at the green jacket I had bought just a day ago. "This is Levi's, right? Damn, it looks really good on you. I didn't know you were a fan of dark green, I always thought it'd clash heavily with you. Or, the old you, I mean."
I snorted at that.
"Cause of my blue hair? Yeah, fair enough. If I'm being honest, dark green's my favourite colour."
Setsuna blinked at that, humming as she felt the jacket.
"Well, I'm glad you picked out a jacket you liked. I myself have been wanting a new jacket too since this leather jacket is getting a bit old, but it's not like I have the money to spend on fashion - I do have to buy food and pay for my bills back home too," Setsuna told me. "One of these days, when we graduate and we're adults, I'd like to just take a day off and go clothes shopping. Spend at least two hundred thousand Yen on heels, boots, and other stuff. Just a nice day out, top it off with some takeaway and watch a movie with a bottle of wine on the couch."
I grinned at that.
"Sounds really nice actually."
"I hope so, you're coming along," Setsuna replied. "Just me and you. You know, others might call it a date, but what would they know? We're just two best friends hanging out and enjoying each other's presence, right?"
Yet, Setsuna's eyes refused to meet mine as she bitterly spat that last part out.
…
"...You're more than my best friend. You're my partner, words can't quantify how much you mean to me, Setsuna," I honestly told her, lighting up another cigarette. "And let the others say whatever they want, it's not like we've ever cared about them. When I'm with you, I don't care about anyone else."
Setsuna's mouth opened and closed at that as she chuckled softly, and I immediately realised what I said-,
"W-w-wait!" I panicked, shaking my head at her. "N-not like that! I mean-, Well-, You're great-, But-, Well-, Shit! Shit! Fuck! Uhm, listen, you mean a lot to me and that's like-, You know, more important than-,"
"I know what you mean, Sora."
I breathed a sigh of relief at that.
And in my mind, I couldn't help but stop to think that if it were Jiro in front of me, she wouldn't have said something like that. She would have made a joke at my expense, I'd have done the same, and our banter would have sidestepped the entire issue without ever actually addressing it.
Yet, Setsuna was direct.
Too direct.
And she was playful too, but she also knew when to reign it in.
"Heard you've been walking around the city for two hours. Wanna talk about it?" Setsuna asked me with a smile, lifting up the four-pack of Carlsberg. "Bought these for us too, you know, to celebrate the fact that we're in Australia. Never thought I'd ever come to this place, but now that I'm here I sorta don't want to go."
I snorted at that, opening a can of beer as I smashed it against hers.
"Yeah? Don't blame ya', I'm sorta in the same boat," I said honestly while taking a sip of the chilled beer. "I wish our Summer wasn't spent just roaming from one country to the next being Heroes. I wish we had more time to take in the sights and you know, experience all these different cultures and shit."
Setsuna giggled at that, leaning into me.
"Well then, how about we make a promise?"
"Hm?"
"In the future, let's go and visit as many countries as we can," Setsuna said to me with a grin. "Not by just being Heroes, but just doing whatever we want. No teachers telling us to do patrols, free to walk wherever we want, free to drink and eat whatever we want. Doesn't that sound fun?"
Ah-,
I gulped at that as I stared into her deceptively hopeful dark-green eyes.
Looking at them instinctively made me want to nod.
But I was sick-,
…
"Yeah, that's a promise," I told her truthfully, grinning back at her. "I'd love to see the world with you. No, I will see the world with you. I was thinking Greece, the food there is really good-,"
"You have been?"
"A few times."
"Oh, Man! I really want to go to Corfu!"
"I'll take you there one day."
"You know, making promises you can't keep can only get a girl's hopes up."
"But those are the best kind," I replied, leaning closer to her. "...Do you mind if I talk about what happened earlier? I-, I know, I'm just bringing it up randomly, but I don't want to ignore it. Bottle it up. It's not healthy."
And Setsuna nodded in response.
"I don't mind at all. I'll always listen to how you feel, Sora."
I-,
It was funny.
Even now, I couldn't help but think about Jiro.
She would have said the same thing when we were dating, but I never once took her up on her offer. Maybe because I wasn't as mature back then, but also maybe because she wasn't mature either - It's not as if our relationship failed entirely because of my actions.
And for the first time in a long time, I forgot she even existed.
Even if it was for a brief moment.
So I opened up to Setsuna. And she stood next to me, asking only but a few questions to clarify something as I talked and talked about what happened earlier, about Koda and Ojiro's words, that I'd never be friends with them ever again - And in turn, Setsuna rubbed my hands reassuringly as her smile was the only thing that kept me warm in Sydney at that moment, not even my brand new jacket could compete.
And she didn't judge me - She didn't criticise me for feeling the way I did.
For being sad that I lost out on two good friends.
"Sora, I think that's just life."
"I know, I just wish it wasn't my life."
"Why not?"
I stared at the night sky, more specifically at the lone star that faced a sea of other stars grouped together. It was alone. For whatever reason, that one star had no one nearby it, and I couldn't help but feel sad for it-,
No one deserved to be alone.
"...I always wanted a big group of friends, you know? Like the Straw Hats? An unshakable bond with others," I recounted, blinking rapidly as I averted her gaze. "You know, to not feel as alone as I did in my previous life. Because I was alone, I remember that much. Even when I was with others, it didn't feel like I was with them, it felt like I tagged along most times."
"Do you still feel like that?"
I shook my head at her.
"Nah. Not really. But you know, it still hurts. Because Koda and Ojiro are still people in my memories that I can't forget about, even if they forget about me," I said. "It hurts because the only thing I'll ever have to remember them is my memories, that the good times we had will never be replicated. I'll never listen to Koda passionately talk about insects again, or laze around on the road with Ojiro bunking lessons. That's in the past."
"Yeah, true. But even if you were friends with them, those chances are gone."
"Huh?"
"Sora, we're graduating soon," Setsuna reminded me. "We're going to have a whole lot of responsibilities thrust upon us. Less free time than ever. You have your parents to rely on, I don't have that. I need to find a place to rent, but I don't have enough money for it so there's a chance I'll become homeless-,"
Tsk.
"You don't need a place to rent."
"Huh?"
"You can just come and live with me. My parents won't mind-,"
And for once, Setsuna looked at me in pure confusion.
"...What dream world are you living in? We're adults, Sora. I can't just coast off of your kindness for the rest of my life, that's not fair," Setsuna told me. "And your parents won't appreciate it. I-, Maybe two years ago that'd have worked, because we were both students. But face reality, we're closer to twenty than we are to fifteen, time only marches forwards not backwards. The past can only tie you down, people like Ojiro and Koda aren't bound by their past with you anymore. Can't you see that they've moved on?"
Oh.
I drank the rest of my beer silently.
"...That doesn't mean that the past isn't important."
"No one is saying it isn't important."
Yet, I couldn't help but look at it.
Because it was those memories that reminded me of the fact that I once had friends.
Because I would never get closure from them.
…
Originally, the chapter would have ended with a massive event taking place in Japan! I decided to move it to the next chapter because frankly, this chapter is pretty heavy emotionally.
No, Sora isn't going to patch things up with Koda and Ojiro.
And they're not the only ones.
Sora will never get closure, and if you're left feeling unsure about it, well good. I don't want to write closure for Sora in this regard, because you don't always get closure in life - Because the more you look at your past, the more it consumes you.
I hope that this chapter has made far more clear what Sora's main problem is.
The problem he's always had.
Even when happy, even when with others, he can't help but cling to his past. I've been writing the same things for the past few chapters cause I want things to be clear between everyone, I want the hypocrisies of Sora to not be shown subtly.
It's sad because if he accepted and let go of the past, he'd finally be able to live. He'd find love, and he'd be truly happy, but he can't let it go so he'll always be stuck in the same pit he's been in since the start of his second life as Sora Yamazaki.
See you soon!