CHAPTER 6: THE OUTCOME

A dozen suns rose and fell before the felines faced each other again, and when they did, they could not find the words to speak to one another. After what had occurred, the void between them yawned wider than ever, not due to distaste, hatred, or anger - for those feelings, full of fiery passion, could eventually be overcome. What they experienced now was cool and quiet, like a cavern beneath an arctic ocean, and as a week passed and that cold silence intensified, Mewtwo noted how his companion began to cast longing looks over the mountains. To himself he suspected that the female would soon be departing from Purity Canyon, and AI's reports on the replica's ferocity in her research of the outside world only confirmed his suspicions. Her intentions were evident to him, and in response to them a part of him, previously sedated by the force of his will, began to stir awake, pleading for Mewtwo to persuade Kamaria to stay. Yet how could he do so when the desire for her to remain near him was precisely what Giovanni would have wanted? That thought, more than any other, stopped him from taking action: he could not stand to comply to that sadist's plans again. Pride and his craving for defiance overruled his personal desire, and the idea of bonding with Kamaria became little more than an offshoot from the envisioned nightmare. As such, it was condemned in the male's mind, and the friendship he had sought was branded hopeless. Like Kamaria with her fear and prejudice, he had found a reason to fight a relationship, although the buried part of his soul persisted in struggling with his logic.

Ignoring it, Mewtwo ruminated instead on Kamaria's condition. Capable of recognizing the signs of her pregnancy after he had been enlightened to it, he noted her constant weariness, her voracious appetite, the faint thickening of her abdomen which she often curled herself around, and finally the tiny smile on her face which had once confused him. Now he comprehended its meaning in full: when she wore it across her muzzle, she was musing upon her child and its future. However, even as these four pieces of evidence gratified him with understanding, they also invoked in him potent shame and humiliation. They taunted him with the memory of his obliviousness and the potential disaster he might have wrought at any time: for he had fought violently with the mother-to-be. With one misplaced strike he might have injured or killed the fetus within her womb, and he knew well that pure luck had spared him from a potential crusade of vengeance. Kamaria would never have forgiven him, and he would not have been able to blame her for murderous intent, for he would have loathed himself dearly had he committed infanticide…especially when his victim would have been her child.

Presently, the situation he faced was one he could barely grasp. He had been in the presence of children before, and had taken upon himself the role of their guardian – that was true. However, he had never directly involved himself with them or their mother, as he must if Kamaria made the unlikely decision to stay. Yet despite his doubts, he desired for the female to remain in his home, even though he was uncertain as to whether that feeling right or wrong for him to harbor. Perhaps it was both, he thought, as his motives for her to remain were stemmed from both his selfish want for her to be near him, as well as his concern for her – and her child's – health and safety if she left. Yet of one matter he was certain: he could not bar her from leaving if she so chose. After all, he had not enforced such a ludicrous thing upon those he could consider his own offspring, and as such he could not treat Kamaria with less dignity and respect. No, despite the potential pain, he must allow her to go, even though the struggle within him was so much more intense and vicious, his fair mind warring against his desperate heart with hooks and chains. In the end, his resolve must win out….

Still…was there any way to prevent her from deciding to depart? Was there anything he could do or say to sway her from such a course? At a loss, Mewtwo did something he had never before done: he sought the advice of another. He messaged Musing(Chi)Watcher.

Topic: Confusion

It has been some time since I last contacted you, and I apologize for not be doing so in response to your last message. However, these past few months have been a battle which has required much of my time. Currently, I have a being in my home who attracts and repulses me in equal measures, and I am uncertain how to settle the difficulties between us. Suffice to say that handling intrapersonal relationships is not a strong suit of mine, and so I must turn to you in the hope that you can help me reach a solution. Yet first, of course, I must explain the situation.

When I was younger, I was a soldier of high rank in a private army. My superior officer was inhumane in his endeavors, and he sought to use my abilities in pursuit of his goals. After a year, I dispersed from his command and went on to build my own life, gaining peace and a surrogate family, and, for a time, I believed myself free of him. However, a matter of months ago he tracked me down and presented me with a hostage, who he had intended to use as leverage to force me back into his services. This plan failed, as my adopted sister and I managed to liberate the young woman and defeat his forces. Yet although the threat against us no longer exists, the one we saved bears no gratitude for me; in fact, she treats me with utmost disdain. Perhaps the only reason she has stayed in my home for this long is due to its security – had it offered her nothing, she would have left after the first day, so negative is her attitude regarding me.

I comprehend her hatred well enough; as far as that man was concerned, her sole role in life was to sacrifice her body to my potential lusts. She was brainwashed into believing that such degradation is all that our relationship could lead to, and as such has refused to befriend me or lend me her trust. No matter what actions I take she remains wary, searching for motives I do not harbor. This disappoints me, since her similarities to me intrigue me: her mind matches my own, and her heart holds the same concerns as mine does. In my eyes, despite how difficult she can be, she is an alluring creature.

Yet she is also pregnant, and while this does not change my interest in her, it does arouse more complications. She intends to have her child – the father of whom I know nothing about – far from me, and to accomplish this she may soon leave my home forever. I may never see her again, and that thought… distresses me. I would like her to stay, but I know I cannot imprison her here. I cannot steal her right to live as she chooses, or dictate how she may care for her child. Still…I do not want her to leave. As I have only had a few civil discussions with her, and have never consciously wanted anything more from her, this desire confuses me. Yes, to be allowed to touch her in a platonic way would be nice, and yes, for her to smile at me kindly would be pleasant. Yet these are impossible gifts – she flees from me, though I would do her no harm.

So what should I do, Chi? Should I let her go, or somehow convince her to stay? And say she decides to remain, what then, when the infant is born? I cannot find the answers to these queries alone; I do not even know what to think or feel in this situation. So tell me Chi, what should I do…?

M.

…How pathetic this seemed to the clone, resorting to asking a human stranger for advice, and how very unlike someone with his staggering pride. However, the message was sent with a click of the mouse, and now could not be taken back. With nothing else to occupy himself with, he defeated several chess players and various puzzles over the internet as he awaited the chipper 'ping' which would herald the arrival of a new message in his inbox. Thankfully, when it arrived it was not junk mail or a message from one of the alarmingly affectionate teenagers who had somehow stumbled upon his faux blog (he had to have something to show Chi). Had it been among those irritating notes, his frustration would have launched him into a fit of hacking with would have virtually decimated any internet persona or website which dared to taunt him in his already despairing state. Considering he had done such for mere amusement in the past, he was certain a wayward message now would be an efficient enough catalyst for him to commit electronic assassination. However, the letter which unfolded upon the screen was from whom he'd sought conference, and so, with the captivation of a priest reading verses of a holy book, his eyes swept through the passages of her response.

Topic: Re: Confusion

Hello, M. You are right, it has been awhile, but you never cease to bring up interesting topics when you do get around to sending a message. I had thought that your social life must be torturously dull to make you have to resort to searching online for intelligent conversation, but I see now I was mistaken. At any rate, I will attempt to respond to your message, and in doing so provide what help I can.

First, you seem to care for this woman, but do you know how deep those feelings extend? I strongly suspect you are lying to yourself (if only for your own comfort) about what you really hope to share with her. I will remind you of a conversation we had once before – about the nature of love-.

Mewtwo blanched; he had hoped this subject would not be brought up. Regardless of his disdain, however, he read on.

-You believe it is merely exaggerated affection, spurred from the biochemical reactions to feelings of lust, empathy, and sympathy. Perhaps you are even correct in that respect; that would certainly explain the intoxicating effect of infatuation. Yet even if physiological studies can reveal the source of our emotions, does that make an attachment with someone any less special or memorable? Since we have argued over this before, I will not continue along this particular thread. Still, ask yourself if you may have found yourself capable of loving another unwittingly, and be open to the possibility that if you do, you do not need to comprehend it, for some things in life are better left unexplained.

As for the woman's attitude, I am certain you have tried everything within your power to change her mind about you. This is the wrong course of action – instead, refrain from forcing your virtues upon her, because by doing so you are only earning more of her suspicion. It's the natural adolescent response: you push her and she will push back in return. I would suggest a gentler approach: simply be there for her, and let her find your goodness on her own. Since I know you're a decent guy, I daresay her negative opinion of you will falter before too long.

Concerning her pregnancy, it should make matters clearer for you, not make them more obscure. If you still yearn for her when sex is out of the picture (as biology dictates that, since someone else is already rooted inside her, she can no longer be claimed), it may mean your attraction is not purely physical in nature, nor is it a mere crush that will fade in time. And as for the baby itself, understand that it will always come first in her mind, so you must not vie for the primary place in her heart. Once you have accepted this (gracefully, I hope), you may be accepted in turn for your willingness to help her even if you cannot have her. Who knows, you may even begin to care for her child too in the process. Perhaps you might become its adopted father, and hence finally become a part of a true family.

Yet when it comes to the simple matter of her departure, do not sit back and watch her go without a word, M! Plead to her if you have to resort to such base tactics. When it's a choice between your pride and someone you care for, you have no justifiable reason to pick your pride. I am not saying chain her up or something equally brash, but let her know you don't want her to go. It probably wouldn't hurt to appeal to her maternal instincts while you do so, either. Right now she has a warm shelter, clean food and water, access to medical supplies, and perhaps most importantly, someone who is willing to care for her through this vulnerable period. She has with you what she needs most for the remainder of her pregnancy and in childbirth, and if she departs she will lose that. What will she do then? Where will she go? Who precisely will she turn to for help if something goes wrong? She cannot be so reckless as to endanger her life and that of her child! Surely she must take those matters into consideration. You did say she was intelligent, correct?

In the end, however, you need to search yourself, M. What do you truly feel for her? What do you want her to be to you a day from now, a month from now, a year from now? Would you like her to be your friend, your sister, or your beloved? Which of those would you prefer to be to her? If you discover the answers to those questions, the rest may fall into place. I am not saying that task will be easy, of course…but that is the most I can give you for advice, M.

Until next time,

Chi

Like leaves drifting down a stream, days passed by, each bearing few memorable features and thus were easily forgotten. Yet during that time Kamaria was not idle; she continued her research, reclaimed what personal items she possessed, slipped on her bracelet and a cloak she'd nicked from Mewtwo, and finally packed a sack with edibles and a bottle of spring water. Since she had no precise destination in mind, maps and a compass proved unnecessary; she knew there was nothing more she must obtain or consult before leaving Mt. Quena. At any time she could depart…and yet an unidentifiable uncertainty needled at her, holding her back from exiting the caverns. She had wandered through the island complex aimlessly for over an hour, as if waiting for an event to pass that would make her resolve take root. She wondered why that was - why should she hesitate when she was prepared to move forward? After all, there was no reason for her to linger if only to say goodbye; although she doubted she would ever reside within Mewtwo's or AI's presence again, final farewells were meant to hold sadness in them, and be exchanged between relations who were reluctant to part. Given the nature of her relationship with the other two, saying so long to them seemed more of a blatant rejection than a polite acknowledgement of an impending separation. Besides, would she miss them as she missed Ali, the teacher whom she had never had the opportunity to say goodbye to…?

The internal fight of her psyche, the one which warred for comprehension of the last month, was beginning to die within her. One side, the one she tried desperately to bury, had begged that she forsake the foundations of her beliefs and remain in this paradise she had begun to view as "home." In opposition was the sterner, more powerful side – the one which belonged to her stubbornness and her barricaded heart. Could that latter side afford to lose…? Could she afford to succumb to an uncertainty which rivaled that which had overwhelmed her on the day of her awakening to the world? In that hour, her senses had been assailed, so terrible in the force of their assault that she had almost been driven mad, and panic and confusion had followed on its heels, smothering her and driving her into deep shock. To have reached a moment in her life when she might experience similar disquiet proved profoundly unsettling to her…and hence, like many confronted with something disagreeable, she coped by forcing it from her thoughts. She could not face her doubts, or the disturbing warmth that had begun to stir in her chest whenever Mewtwo gazed fondly upon her. To begin caring for him was a betrayal of her resolve…and yet even as that notion made her shudder, a memory filled her mind, haunting and almost sweet….

The flushed sun set behind the mountains, darkening their eastern faces and casting a shimmering peach glow upon their summits. Above the stained stone crests, cirrus clouds shifted from rose to plum, the firmament around them layered in bands cream, tangerine, and navy. Within the cool grass beneath an oak tree of the island, Kamaria sat with her tail curled to her side, inches from Mewtwo's feet. He stood peering at the sky, his own tail sweeping once against the green, feathery blades. Twenty feet away was the lakeshore, with waves like black, liquid opal churning in the sand, and over the sound of the swirling water, his voice rose, asking one of the personal questions which dug beneath her pelt like itching lice, irritating and difficult to rid herself of: "Were you ever lonely back then, even with Kummad at your side?" he inquired.

Her tail slapped the ground, and after a moment she answered him reluctantly. "…All creatures feel loneliness sometime in their lives, and some feel it more acutely than others…but yes, Mewtwo, I have felt the ache of that dismal emotion."

He peered down at her – she would not meet his gaze. "What of now, Kamaria?" he asked. "Do you still long for a companion?"

Only then did she realize that, in fact, she no longer felt the hollowness that accompanied being alone. True, chaos had stolen its place in her heart, but there was no hint of the longing she had once possessed in such abundance. Perhaps loneliness had abandoned her once she had learned of her pregnancy, or perhaps it had departed when she had become acquainted with another of her kind; either way, she did not long for another this day. Of course, she could not admit to him that she had found such solace in his home, and so as the western horizon faded to black, she said, "Much of the time I find company an undesirable prospect, and yearn to be left alone - so perhaps you might say that I feel the opposite of loneliness instead."

Although she had spoken the statement lightly, Mewtwo understood that she was dismissing him from her side. He nodded once as if to say, "I see. Good night then." As he left, she felt a strange prickling of remorse for what her words had caused. She had not thought he would leave on such a note; he usually preferred to debate with her, and that need, she had thought, was typically persuasion enough to make him defy her and remain nearby. Yet instead he had gone, and disappointment stirred in her at that, because if nothing else she found the male thought-provoking. Then, following on the heels of that regret was the twinge of her conscience, which suggested to her that, once again, she was perhaps being unfair to the male. She attempted to ignore its prodding; she was determined not to trust him, for if she dared allow herself to become close with her predecessor, she would be obeying Giovanni's wishes…and that man's wishes had always had a way potentially destroying her and her child. It was not safe, Mewtwo could not be safe…right?

Yet in the hush of the present, Kamaria wondered upon the decision she had so long honored: was it justifiable? Was it just to hold someone accountable for what might have occurred, for the potential nightmare she might have been made to live had he proven a deplorable being? Was it just to reject someone who might never have done the unthinkable, who might never have violated her or handed over her sole light in a dark life? Was it just to hate someone because of his capacity to ruin everything she held dear…? Logic told her everyone was capable of acts of supreme good and evil, of acts of violence and love, and that everyone held within themselves the makings of a monster or a saint. Reasoning told her that those truths, rather than the ingrained beliefs of her soul, were what truly mattered. Thus the kinder part of her heart, once nurtured and then betrayed, now began to gain ground against her prejudice and suspicion – it fought more forcefully against her doubts, its war cry a shrill call for her to see reason. Yet it did not go into battle for the sake of the infant; whether the young one had a father figure in its life mattered little in the end. Instead it fought for the betterment of herself, and for the redemption of Mewtwo in her eyes. If she sacrificed her false judgments of the clone, might she not also sacrifice the part of herself born from Giovanni cruelty, an evil seed which poisoned what had once been a pure soul…? Would forfeiting her ruthless beliefs not turn Mewtwo's own possible manipulations into acts of goodwill, and as such transform him from a demon into an angel…?

"Kamaria…?"

She had lingered too long. He stood beyond the exit of the caverns; she would have pass by him if she wished to depart.

Vaguely, as horror twisted the lining of her stomach, she realized that his voice was in fact quite gorgeous, a rich baritone which could cause lesser females to swoon if he deemed to flatter them. However, Kamaria could not so easily be seduced by its pure brass sound, and it would take more than his rare smile to sway her into surrendering to him. Beyond a transient state of interest, she could not be won by someone's charms…yet still, his soft voice made her pause. He sounded sad this day - not furious and stern, or aggravatingly amused - but merely sad. Such sorrow made her ache, and in defense against the hurt she suppressed the feeling; it merely hindered her from moving forward. Forcing her expression to smooth and go blank, she discovered that his eyes conveyed his thoughts as well, and that their depths were not as simple to ignore as his tone. His gaze held the understanding that if she departed in this hour, he would never hold her in his sights again…and they also held other emotions, emotions which made her still with shock. No one had ever looked at her like that before….

She shivered, tearing her gaze from his, and asked in a quaking voice, "A-are you going to try to force me to stay?"

He shook his head. "No…you have every right to wander wherever you wish. I will not deny you that bliss."

Her head jerked upwards in surprise. "…So if I ask it of you, you will step out of my way? You'll let me go?" she whispered.

Her predecessor paused…and then, rather than step aside and allow her passage, he stepped forward, drawing closer to her. Her frame seized as it repressed the instinctual impulse to retreat and maintain a cushion of space between them, and Mewtwo appreciated the gesture as much as he mourned its cause. Hurt and unmerited guilt filled him at the motion, which he did not have the willpower to conceal as he rested his paws upon her shoulders. He felt her stiffen beneath his fingers…yet she did not slip away from him, and an inkling of hope suffused him at that. Her willingness to accept his touch was, at the very least, encouraging. After several moments of tense and uncertain silence, he at last gathered up the courage to utter the plea he needed to say, challenging as it was for him to voice to her: "Kamaria…p-please, do not leave. Please stay…."

…Please stay here with me, completed the thought in his mind. His eyes fixated on her muzzle, for the potency of his self-consciousness made it impossible for him to look her in the eye. However, he knew his sincerity was evident to her, and that his difficulty in murmuring the request was disclosed by the unusual waver of his voice. He was now vulnerable before her, entirely at her mercy, and this filled him with a painful sort of discomfort which made him want to bolt from her presence immediately. Yet he could not back down now, if merely for the sake of his heart, which could not long endure the concept of opportunities lost because he was too fearful to take the risk of reaching out for them. He could not divine precisely what those opportunities entailed, for he was not ready to face that revelation…yet he could attempt to open the door to those chances nonetheless by begging her not to depart. If he had to grovel to her like a pitiful wretch to succeed in his efforts, so be it. There were some things in life worth far more than his dignity.

Beneath his paws, he felt her quivering. "Why…why should I stay?" she asked, sounding as small and fragile as the life growing within her.

And he could conceive of so many answers he could give her in reply, and sifting through them, he settled on the most reasonable ones. "I…rather, for the benefit of your son or daughter, you should not depart at this time. Presently you have everything you need to see you through the remainder of your pregnancy and through childbirth - in the outside world, this may not be possible. You might be far from a health facility or in battle when the contractions begin, or worse, you might even be captured by a particularly advanced trainer. I am not suggesting that you are weak, Kamaria, for from it…however, you cannot deny the dangerous possibilities without becoming a hypocrite in other matters concerning chance."

Knowing instantly that he was referring to her harsh treatment towards him, she glanced away, stung. Yet his words were sensible, reinforcing the strength of her freshly empowered reason. Could she…dare she…do as he recommended…? A defiant piece of her still attempted to battle his logic: "Mewtwo, females give birth alone all of the time out in the true world, and afterwards they are perfectly fine. I will be alright."

Sorrow once again filled his gaze. Was he losing this battle? Would she indeed leave when this discussion closed, rendering his attempts at persuasion futile? "Would you remain here for my reassurance though? I…I do not expect anything from you, of course, but could you at least remain in the safety of my home until the infant is born? Afterwards I will not even attempt to hinder you from departing - I will even assist you in preparing for the task."

Sensing the bait, Kamaria smirked and drawled, "Oh really? Would you help me by providing me all of my desired items, even if one was a form of birth control?"

He blanched, understanding that she said such a thing in jest, and that he had set himself up for the fall. However, he would do anything to prove to her that he would keep his word, and so responded in the only way he could. "Yes, I would secure even that for you if you so wished."

The grin across the female's muzzle faded as Kamaria understood that Mewtwo meant everything he had said. "But why?" she whispered, not comprehending his offer. "Why would you do that?"

What was the truth…? The male knew only a small part of it, and conveyed that to her in a soft voice. "I wish to take care of you and the child. I want you both to be happy and healthy, even if you two are far from me. Is that so wrong of me, Kamaria?"

He spoke not a rhetorical question but an honest inquiry: was it wrong, perhaps mistaken of him, to care for them…? So close was their proximity to one another that the female feline trembled, for she could easily and accurately use her empathic abilities to peer into the darkest corners of his soul. In this nearness deception and ulterior motives could be divined as simply as she breathed; there could be no hiding his intents from her now. And so as his aura encompassed her, she read its bright waves carefully, first finding warmth and longing devoid of lust. She then found nervousness at his inevitable vulnerability in this moment, a shred of hope born from her willingness to consider his viewpoint, and last of all, his potentially devastating despair if she chose to depart. This final emotion shook her, for she had not realized she was capable of stirring such anguish in any individual…and so, in uncertainty, she met his eyes, discovering no dishonesty within them. He cared for her, truly cared, despite all she had and might still force him to endure…and that realization caused the part of her, forged from the pain of her past, to crack, splinter, and shatter like an old, dry bone crushed beneath a hammer's strike. Her throat constricted painfully and her vision blurred with unexpected tears…and then she tumbled forward, catching herself on him, and for the first time, embraced him. Having never touched him willingly before, having abhorred physical contact from him previously, she now shocked them both as she encircled him in her arms. The fragments of her malevolent determination ground into dust and were blown away by the indecipherable emotions whirling through her, and after his initial surprise, Mewtwo held her in return. Her muzzle pressed into his primary neck while his own came to rest between her ears, and he noted vaguely that she smelled faintly of the wildflowers of the fields….

"No, Mewtwo," she whispered, "It's…it's not wrong of you to care."

The moment, warmed with her embrace and whispered words, conspired to make his hope flourish…but dare he allow that fragile emotion to weave into his soul, when he still did not know if she surrendered…? "Does that mean you will stay?"

Could he bear to lose her after the universe had shifted and inspired this wonder…?

And her answer rose in his thoughts, quiet yet earnest. "Yes. For now, we will stay."

That was the most she could give him, and for Mewtwo, those few words were enough. In the small eternity after they were uttered, the replicas stood together, closer than ever before, and with mutual consent, took a step forward: a step which had once been deemed impossible. And by taking that step, they found something meaningful, something real, touching, and almost unbearably bittersweet. They understood that the moment when they finally let go was not the one which mattered; instead, what truly mattered was simply that they had held on, allowing those few words to infuse them with hope…:

Yes. For now, we will stay.