Chapter 1:

John Jigger:

My name is John Jigger. Gryffindor. This is my third year at Hogwarts. Since I arrived here, I've had a crush on Septima Skeeter. There is one just one problem. I can't talk to her. What can I say, if You Know Who was here, I'd be more afraid of talking to Septima. I don't think she'd ever be impressed with me. I can't pronounce spells right, I stink on a broom, and every time I try to make a potion, it usually ends up a tasty beverage. The good news is, Professor Snape likes iced tea, but the bad news is the fact that I failed.

One time, I was walking through the halls, then I saw someone drop her books. I decided to help her, but then I saw who it was.

"Thank you," says Septima.

"UUUUUUUUUhhhhhhhhh..." I said. Hey, I actually said a word... sort of. Usually, I can barely say the first letter of a word.

"Say, you're John Jigger, right," she asks.

"My Jigger name is yes."

Septima's confused.

"Wait, my John name is yes."

"Right... well, did you see the first game in the Tri-Wizard Cup? I've been a big fan of Harry Potter's.

She was so cute. I needed to think of something. That was when I made my biggest mistake. "I'm good friends with Harry Potter!"

"What? You are? Really?"

"Yes, you have heard the words that came out of my mouth," I said, not believing that I just said that.

"I find that hard to believe," says another kid. He then walked over to me. "So, how did you two meet?"

I wanted a dementor to take my soul at that moment. "Well... I helped him..."

"You mean you told Professor Dumbledore that Harry needed the Sword to kill the Basilisk," says another kid. It was like Talk to John Jigger Day.

"That is what you just said. I also showed..."

"Did you show him where the Sorcerer's Stone was," says another kid.

"That is an interesting sentence... involving sentences."

"I don't believe you," says the first kid, "if you are friends, prove it. Before the final challenge, have Harry Potter meet with you at this exact spot."

They all left, except for Septima. "For the record, I think you look like someone Harry Potter would be friends with." She then leaves and I just stared at her. Then, I knew I was in big trouble.

...

Harry Potter and the other kids were getting ready for the second challenge. I tried to talk with him, but it was hard getting near him. Luckily, I saw his friends. You know, his real ones. Ron and Hermione. I figured I could ask them to ask Harry to do me a favor, but I couldn't get to them. In fact, they disappeared. I guess they went to get snacks or something. Anyway, the game was starting, and Professor Dumbledor told the participants that they have to get their treasures back from the merpeople. They do so. Something was going on with Harry and a guy named Neville seemed worried.

"I killed Harry Potter," he said.

Then Harry was amphibious.

The participants then saved their friends and Harry saved the French girl's sister. I tried to talk to him, but I ended up tripping and falling in the water.

...

It was nice of the merpeople to help me out. They gave me some advice after I told them my problem, but it was just some nonsense about being myself. Anyway, I needed a new plan.

...

Wizards were asking witches to the Yule Ball. I still had a problem. I talked to Miranda Midgeon.

"You shouldn't have lied," she said.

"Like it's my fault," I said, "I don't suppose you have an idea."

"You think you have problems," she said, "I just found out the girl I liked is in to boys. Why do you think I disguised myself as a boy. It was embarrassing."

"At least you can ask a girl to the ball."

"I'd rather not lie," she said, "unless it was to get out of a test. Look, there she is. Go tell her."

I walked over to Septima.

"Too bad we wouldn't be old enough to go to the Yule Ball," she said, "I wouldn't mind going with someone like you."

She was not making it easier. In fact, I froze. She checked if I was okay and then walked away.

"That could've gone better," says Miranda, "well, since you can't talk to her, there's Harry Potter. Go. Ask him, just not to the Ball."

I went over to Harry Potter. He went up a staircase. I climbed a different staircase, but mine changed and I was at a different door. I bet King Arthur never had days like this.

...

I was walking through the halls when I saw those kids. I tried to hide, but I couldn't. So, I just turned myself into a lizard. That may be the first spell I've done that actually succeeds. Go figure. The kids were walking by. I could hear them talk.

"I bet Jigger's never even met Harry Potter," one of them says, "he's probably been spending the day trying to ask him a favor."

As the kids walk away, I noticed Professor Dumbledore looking at me. It was weird.

...

Well, here we are. It was the time or what I like to call it, Doomsday. There was Septima and those kids. After this, I'll be more embarrassed than Miranda.

"Don't worry," says Miranda, "I know a spell that could turn you into a girl."

I walked over to them.

"So, where is he," says that one jerkish kid.

I was about to say something, but then...

"There he is," says a voice. It was Harry Potter. "My good friend, John Jigger. I never did thank you for telling Professor Dumbledore about that sword and for showing me where the Sorcerer's Stone was. Thanks, alot. Oh, this must be Septima Skeeter. You would like this boy. Well, I gotta go, I have that final event to do." Harry Potter then leaves.

"I guess he does know him," says the jerk. Everyone then leaves.

"I can't believe Harry Potter spoke to me," says Septima as she hugs me and then leaves.

I couldn't understand what just happened. Then Professor Dumbledore showed up.

"I must say, Harry should work on his acting," he said.

"Wait, did you..."

"What? Did you think that I found out, told Harry, and asked him to put on that show to help you? My boy, that is silly." The Professor then walks away. "I do have two words of advice. One, just be yourself. Girls like that. And the other, if you are going to lie again, next time, say you're a friend of a friend of Harry's. Either way, it might have been easier." The Professor then leaves.

"Well, that happened," says Miranda, "come on, let's go see that final event. I'm sure it's gonna end well."

Miranda and I then walked off.

This is Non cannon to the Ultimate Advanceverse.