Today, this is 50 first dates but with A Goofy Movie characters. Something I've been working on for a long time and now it's here so here's the first chapter.
Somewhere in Hawili, there was Max Goof. He was 24 years old and wore a big red shirt and he has a company of having endless women with no strings attached. He was at a dock with a bunch of jet skis as he was with a girl named Linda.
"Max Goof, why didn't you tell me you were a secret agent?" Linda asked.
"I prefer intelligence operative, and I couldn't tell you until I knew you." Max said while wearing shades.
"Well, can I call you when I get off?" she asked.
"You can call me but I'll be in Peru. Gosh, I said that a little loud…" He said as he lifted his watch to his face and started talking on it as if it was an actual secret agent device. "Come on, that's a 187, code blue. We got the wolf sleeping at night, he's slipping his arm in the drawer and out comes the cookie jar. All clear, bling-bling wanna-wanna bing bang. Got it."
Linda looked confused. "Well, maybe when you can get back from Peru…" She said,
"I don't think that's an option, Lisa."
"Linda." she corrected.
"I know, I changed your name for your protection," He said. "We have to go our separate ways now…" He said.
"Well, goodbye…" Linda said as she leaned in for a kiss but Max suddenly yelled…
"Got it! Moving out!". He then starts running on the dock and sees a guy riding a jet ski near him. When he reached the end, he took his chance and jumped and landed behind the guy, landing on his privates on the jet ski and then he grunted in pain.
The guy on the jet ski looked surprised at Max for jumping onto his jet ski. "What the hell is your problem?" the guy yelled.
"Just keep going, I'll give you $20" Max said.
"You got it." the guy said. "How's your balls?"
"Killing me. Hit it." Max said as the guy accelerated his jet ski and waves goodbye to Linda and she waved back.
In an animal museum, Max works as a vet for sea animals. He was in his office, putting stitches on his friend Bobby's side after getting bitten by a shark, along with his kids watching the dolphins from Max's office.
Bobby was grunting and groaning in pain, feeling the needles going through him. "Hey, watch it! I'm a person, not a seal." Bobby said.
"Well, I'm a vet, not a doctor." Max responded. "Now hold still or I won't give you a treat." He said as he continued putting the stitches on Bobby. "You see kids, you see what happens when you play with sharks?"
"Why do you gotta spread those lies? Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts." Bobby said.
"Ok…" Max said as he rolled his eyes and finished up Bobby's stitches.
"Hey, that's a good title for my documentary." Bobby said as he looked at a camera one of his kids had in his hands. "Sharks: They only bite when you touch their private parts."
The kid giggled as he continued holding the camera, recording everything.
"Or you could say Sharks: They tried to eat my kidneys." Max said with a wink as the kids started laughing at the joke.
"Alright, enough already!" Bobby yelled before the kids stopped laughing and Max handed him a bottle ornament.
"All right, you just have to put this on four times a day for two weeks." Max said as Bobby nodded.
"What's wrong with that turtle?" One kid said as he pointed at a picture of a turtle skeleton.
Max went to the turtle skeleton picture. "He has lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you, right Bobby?" Max joked.
Bobby's eyes widen as he looks at the kids. "What? I don't smoke weed." He said nervously, which was a lie.
Max went to his mini fridge and got two sodas, one of him and one of Bobby. Bobby then went up to Max and got his soda from Max.
"Hey Max, how's that hot wahine nympho from Ohio?" Bobby asked.
"Great. I dropped her off at the airport this morning." Max said.
"Daddy, what's a nympho?" A kid asked.
Bobby's eyes widened as he turned to the kids. "Oh, a nympho is…the state bird of Ohio." He lied to the kids as they nodded their heads and Max went up to him.
"You're a state idiot of Hawili…" Max said as he went to a tank of fish and then fed the fish.
Bobby chuckled. "You always crack me up. One of these days, you'll show one of these tourists a good time and then she'll wanna stay on the island." Bobby said.
"Now, why do you say mean things like that to me and why is your foot on my pillow?" Max said.
Bobby had his feet on one of Max's couch pillows. When he removed his foot off of it, there was a dirt stain. Bobby wiped the stain and then tried to sit down on it.
"I don't want your ass on it either. Get up!" Max said as Bobby got up and sat on the couch armrest.
"It could happen." Bobby said. "Then you won't be able to go on your boat trip to Alaska and then you'll be stuck here, waking up next to the same, old, ugly board." Bobby said as he chuckled and then his eyes caught the kids just looking at you with a disapproving look. "Just kidding, guys." He said.
"About the old part or the ugly part?" one of the kids said as the rest of the kids started laughing.
Suddenly, Jack burst into Max's office. "Max, come quickly! It's Jocko!" Jack said as Max quickly got up and followed Jack out of his office.
Max and Stacy eventually arrived at the area of the museum where all the walruses are at. Max had his first aid kit carry bag and Stacy followed him. "Jocko, what's going on, little buddy?" Max said as he saw his walrus friend laying down on his side.
"Jocko, what's going on buddy?" Max said as he went on the walrus side. "Don't be scared, everything's going to be fine."
Max and Jack went to the walrus and placed their first aid kit on the ground. "Jack, give me two fish from the barrel." Max said as Jack quickly grabbed two fish from a blue barrel and held it beside Max.
Max feels one of the fish. "That's a little warm. Go to the bottom of the barrel." Max said.
Jack then went back to the barrel and stuck his upper body inside of the barrel of fish in the icy water to reach for a cooler fish and then he got out of the barrel, dripping wet and handed it the fish to Max.
"C'mon, buddy. Take it. Take it." Max said as he put the fish in front of the walrus, hoping he'll respond.
"He's not responding!" Jack yelled in Max's ear, still dripping wet.
"I know, Jack!" Max said as he slapped Jack with the fish. "I'm sorry I smacked you, you needed a fish-slap to calm down." he said. "Are you calm now?"
"Yes, I'm now calm." Jack said, still dripping wet.
"Okay, I'm going to try to get him breathing manually." Max said as he rolled over the walrus on his back. "So, I need your face in front of his so you can see if it's working." Jack then crouches down, on his knees. Max then got his hands into a CPR position on the walruses chest.
"Alright, here we go…One, two…three!" Max yelled as he pressed his hands onto his chest really hard.
"No response." Jack said.
"Alright, we'll try again one more time and if it doesn't work, then we'll have to perform a tracheotomy and we don't wanna do that so let's pray this works." Max said.
Max put his hands into a CPR position onto the walruses chest. "Alright, one more time…One…two…THREE!" he said as he pushed against the walruses chest and suddenly the walrus was burping and shooting vomit out its mouth towards Jack and all the vomit was getting on Jack. Max widens his eyes in horror and disgust. The vomit continued shooting out of the walruses mouth and at Jack and eventually it ended it.
"Yikes…that's…that's a lot of vomit." Max said in disgust.
"This is why I got into this business…" Jack said. "To save sea creatures…" he continued.
"You should go wash yourself, okay…" Max said as Jack got up and started walking away. "Maybe try some turpentine. That might take the stink away…" Max then turned to his walrus and was smiling and they high-fived each other. "Yo, that was amazing! I knew that you were going to burp but the vomit thing was awesome!" Max said in excitement. "Ha-ha, that's what you get for eating my roast beef sandwich! Willie, did you see that?" He said at a penguin as the penguin honked.