Everybody and anything familiar belong to Janet. Mistakes are solely mine.

Chapter 6

Tank's POV

"How did you come from that?" I asked Stephanie once we were outside again, breathing fresh air not bullshit anymore.

I'm not a people person by any stretch of anyone's imagination, but I've never been as disgusted by a mother than I am with Stephanie's.

"I've always wanted to be an Intergalactic Princess, so I like to tell myself that I didn't come from her, I was dropped here from a different galaxy."

I almost nodded. "It fits."

"Was that a compliment or an insult?"

"I'd say anything that puts DNA distance between you and that woman is a good thing."

"What do you know, Monroe," she said in the direction of the mutt's dinosaur-sized head, "I think Tank likes us after all."

A sloppy grin was the dog's response, the smartass one belonged to Stephanie.

"What I said, is I don't like your mother. You should've given her to the mutt for a snack."

Ranger cut his eyes to me, a warning not to draw too much attention to our dislike of the Burg bitch in case she accidentally goes missing one day.

"If Morelli would make Monroe sick, any attempt to digest my mother would require a pumped stomach," Steph said, pausing to let Monroe piss on her mother's front tire. "I'm not putting him through that."

Our time here was longer than expected, or it just felt that way to me.

"Where do I get me one of him?" Steph's grandmother asked, gesturing towards the hellhound. "I like how he don't take no crap from no one."

"I can't exactly say where you can find one," Steph said. "Monroe sort of just appeared in the middle of the street while Tank and I were out on a job."

"And you went up to him?" Frank asked, clearly uncomfortable with his daughter approaching the mountain of dog that's still eyeing him suspiciously.

"We bonded over a shared love of chicken nuggets. Seriously, can everyone get over the fact that Monroe has a sturdy build and just accept that he's really a Teddy bear?"

"No," I told her.

I feel braver now that I know he has an empty bladder.

"I assure you that Tank would never have let anything happen to Stephanie," Ranger told his new father-in-law.

"Damn right I won't. I was willing to let him bite me to protect her, but things didn't go that way."

"I bet Stephanie tamed him like she done Ranger," Edna suggested.

The bony broad has a point.

"Ranger will never be tamed," Steph told her. "But he can be polite. Which he's being right now for allowing you to come to Rangeman. It'd be smart not to tease him until after you've made it into the building. Probably not even then."

"Yeah, only Steph gets away with that shit," Lester said to Edna. "The rest of us have scars from attempting it."

"Zippin' my lips now," she promised, following that up with turning her thumb and index finger counterclockwise in a locking motion.

Bobby got the passenger's door for her to get her safely contained I'd guess, while Santos called the driver's seat. Brown will be happy to let him have it in this case with Edna within touching distance.

"Should we call ahead and get the guys all together?" Steph asked Ranger. "Or should we start in the lobby and time how fast the news spreads?"

"With you grandmother and father with us, it's likely better just to say it once and move on."

"Are you afraid of your grandmother-in-law?"

"Afraid? No. Worried about the chaos she could cause in my building if she's there long enough? Yes."

"You talk a big game about being all Zen and stress free, but you worry a lot."

Lester wasn't shitting us. Only Stephanie would risk ... and more importantly survive saying something like that to the Boss. I made a joke in basic about Ranger believing he's indestructible … and he turned around and immediately showed everyone that he is. I couldn't stand completely upright for a solid week after that. Not good when you have drill sergeants riding your ass day and night.

"With you, I need to worry. You're not like most women," Ranger replied.

"Which is exactly why you wanted to marry me. Don't forget that."

"Like I'd want to," he answered, not caring that her father and her dog are watching him kiss her.

And not just a quick peck on the lips either. Ranger has balls of fucking steel.

"Do you want to ride with Edna, Bobby, and Lester?" Ranger asked Frank who was looking out of place and not sure what to do. "Or would you feel more comfortable taking your own vehicle?"

"I suggest you tag along with the guys," Steph told her father. "That way if Mom locks you out, they can pick it for you and let you back inside."

"Your mother isn't that bad," Mr. Plum said. "She'll be upset for a few days but then she'll get over it."

"Yeah, I can see how her daughter finally being happy is such a downer. I promise to go back to being miserable half-past never a-freakin'-gain."

"Stephanie …"

She shook her head. "No. She's not ruining this. And neither are you by defending her. Would you like to come watch how Ranger and Tank kicked everyone's butt, which I feel bad saying because everybody was freakin' incredible and also a little scary, or do you want to stay here and listen to Mom and Morelli bitch about me again?"

"I'd stay just to tell 'em where to stick it!" Edna yelled out of her suddenly open window, "but I wanna see Hotstuff and the Studmuffin do their thing! Wait till I tell the girls at the beauty parlor 'bout all this tomorrow!"

That had Steph smiling, which got the Boss and the dog to relax slightly.

"Dad?" Steph asked.

Ranger, me, Brown, and Santos all had to fight the urge to knock him out for taking even a second to decide. But out of respect for Stephanie, we waited to see if he gave us a concrete reason to risk an assault on an elderly person charge.

"I'll sit behind your grandmother," is what Frank said next.

"Good. I'll feel better knowing one or two of the guys will be with you when you get back," Steph said to him before narrowing her eyes at her grandmother. "And you need to behave yourself, Grandma. No trying to grope anybody in the car, outside of it, or inside our building."

"Jeez, you sound like a boring 'ol married gal already. I'll be good … for now. But if one of them youngins makes a move on me, I'm acceptin' it."

I feel confident that her virtue is safer than the men's, but I didn't say that out loud.

"Before we leave," Ranger said to Frank, "I want it on record that I'm worse than the dog when it comes to Stephanie. If you're not going to support her or are planning to do Helen's dirty work for her, we're going to have a problem."

"Ranger …" Steph tried.

"No, Babe. This is important. I know they're your parents, but that doesn't give them the right to hurt you. You've seen what I'll do to someone who's harassing or harming you, they don't get a free pass because they share your DNA as Tank pointed out earlier."

That caused a look of surprise and unease on Mr. Plum's face for only a few seconds before the older man nodded.

"She'll be safe with you," Frank said to Ranger. "I have no problem with that."

"Heeeeellllo," Steph said. "I can take care of myself and am fully capable of deciding what's right for me. If anyone doesn't like what I do or say, tough. Although I appreciate the thought, I don't need anyone to keep me safe."

"I dare you to tell the mutt that," I told her.

Both her and Monroe's heads turned in my direction, equally annoyed with me.

"Monroe's different. He's just happy he found such a good home. I'm not complaining about him being overprotective since he's more grateful than paranoid."

"We're proactive, Steph," Santos added, after powering down his own window, "not paranoid. Did you or did you not get kidnapped by a psychopathic undertaker and stuffed into a cabinet until he had time to kill you?"

"What? The guys are expecting us? Yep, we definitely better get a move on."

"I second that," Grandma Mazur. "I'm ready to blow this pop stand."

"Good, because I'm ready to go home."

Brown got into their vehicle once Frank was buckling up, and I waited until Stephanie, Monroe, and Ranger moved to ours before I followed.

"Me and Monroe can sit in the back," Steph told me. "I don't want your legs to snap off."

"I'll manage."

"It's alright. I promise Ranger won't hurt you for riding shotgun."

I cut my eyes to him.

"What she's trying not to say, is she wants to call Mary Lou and tell her things she hopes we won't overhear. You can sit in the passenger's seat."

I knew better than to argue with either one. So, I watched Steph and the boer-beast get settled and then took my seat, trying not to listen to whatever was being shared behind me. The fifteen minutes it took to get to the Rangeman building was uncomfortable … for me. The mutt decided to shoot his dog breath towards me the entire ride back. I figured the least Steph could've done was sit behind me and let what she calls Ranger's force field disperse the humid atmosphere.

"Stop whining," he told me.

"I didn't say a fucking thing."

"You're pouting loud enough to hear. Our dog likes you, get over it."

"Your dog likes to torture me. Let's get the verb right."

"I should've made you ride in the trunk."

"I heard that!" Steph said from the backseat. "No trunks and no bickering."

"Yes, Mom," I told her.

"I can ground you more effectively than my wife can," Ranger warned.

It was a warning that would lead to a beatdown. That shut me up until we were parking. Lester had driven to where the fleet vehicles are kept, so it took Mr. Plum and Mrs. Mazur a minute or two to make their way across the parking lot to reach us.

"This is a swanky place you got here," Edna was telling Ranger.

"Ranger has done an amazing job getting Rangeman to where it is now," Steph added, unclipping Monroe's leash since we know he isn't going anywhere except inside with her. "And yes, Tank, you played a major part in helping Ranger become as successful as he is."

"What about us?" Lester asked. "Me and Bobby were there from the planning stages of this company."

Steph threw up her hands in defeat, or just flat-out annoyance, and clucked to the dog to come with her and the Boss. Edna was at the lobby door before the dog was, leaving us and Frank bringing up the rear.

"You sure that dog's safe to be around?" Mr. Plum asked me.

"No. But I'm not gonna be the one to tell your daughter that. She's scarier than the mutt is."

"Stephanie?" He asked.

"If you're asking that," Bobby said to Mr. Plum, "you need to spend more time with her."

"She's a total badass," was Lester's assessment.

I couldn't disagree, even if she can be an pesty and reckless 'badass' at times.

Frank appeared surprised hearing that assessment of his daughter but didn't question it. For Stephanie's sake, I hope he gets his head out of his ass ASAP so she can have at least one functioning parent pulling for her.

"Hey, Boss," Gene said when we entered the building. "Every man on duty, and those who were still in the building, are now in the control room."

"Thanks, Gene," Ranger told him.

"You guys won, didn't you?"

"Do you need to ask?"

Gene tried to hide a grin but was unsuccessful. "No. I knew the outcome before you left Jersey."

"Did you know I'd one-up my statement and marry Ranger immediately after he and Tank won?" Steph asked him.

His mouth dropped open and stayed that way.

"We're about to go tell everybody else. You wanna come with us?" She continued.

Gene glanced at Ranger.

"You can lock up and join us for a few minutes. I have no one and no meetings scheduled until tomorrow."

"This marriage thing is really loosening you up," Steph teased, risking Monroe's facial features rearranging into a glare so she could kiss the Boss.

"You've already corrupted me. I can only imagine how 'flexible' I'll be twenty years from now."

"Only one way to find out … we gotta stick it out for that long."

"You should have your lawyers put it writing that Steph gets the dog despite what happens," I said just to fuck with her.

"Where Steph goes, Monroe goes which means he's here for life," Ranger said.

"I love you," she told the Boss, causing us to roll our eyes internally.

I mean ... shit, we knew they loved each other long before they did. Aside from his daughter, I've never seen Ranger use everything he knows and owns to protect someone outside of our core group until Stephanie came along.

"Do you want the stairs or the elevator?" She asked the hellhound.

"Elevator," Ranger answered. "I can already feel your excitement and you won't be able to make the announcement you want if you have to get up five flights of stairs first."

She sighed. "I do need to exercise more, but you could've just used Grandma Mazur as an excuse to take the easy way up, not point out my lack of muscle tone and stamina. Not everyone can go head-to-head with some of the country's most elite fighters and barely break a sweat."

I saw Lester stiffen with the need to prove himself. He'd die for us, but it still stings that me and Ranger remain the A-Team.

"We'll beat you up to five," he stated, heading towards the stairwell with Bobby and Gene.

"That's the only time he may be accurate," I told Ranger.

The elevator takes its sweet fucking time whenever you're in a hurry. It was a tight squeeze with the six of us inside it, but we did make it up to the fifth floor two seconds before Lester burst out into it.

"Hey, Guys!" Steph called. "I brought back the winners of the Best Ranger Competition, for the billionth year running, and grabbed my dad and Grandma Mazur on the way back. They wanted to watch video footage of how our guys did."

"Is that all you'd like to say, Babe?"

"Oh, yeah. I kept my promise. Ranger and I got married right after the celebration dinner while we were still in Georgia, since Julie was only a state away."

"Holy shit!" Woody said.

"I knew it!" Was Hal's response.

"That makes one of you then," she told Hal. "Because I still question if it actually happened."

"It did, Mrs. Manoso," Ranger told her. "You can't get out of it now."

"Trust me, I'm not looking to. I'm happy right where I am."

"Did you do the deed just because of Julie?" Ram asked. "Or so no one here would interfere?"

"Ninety-percent Julie," Steph answered. "Ten percent not wanting to wait. I wish we could've flown you all in just so you could've seen Lester put tuxedo cuffs on Monroe."

"Hold up your hands," Vince ordered Santos. "Huh, you still have ten fingers."

"Like I can't handle a dog?"

Monroe and Steph took offense to that. Stephanie narrowed her eyes at both men for insinuating that her beast isn't a pussy cat. The dog in question stopped panting and smiling, and snapped his jaws shut in Santos' direction.

"Shit. Monroe Man, I thought we bonded over the wedding finery we were both stuck wearing. Where's the love now?"

"It's all for Steph," I told him. "The Boss and the dog are similar that way."

"As I was saying," Steph continued. "I would've loved to marry Ranger with all you guys acting as our best men … hmmm, maybe we can still do that? Some couples get remarried every year, why can't we do it one more time on our home turf?"

"I'm not putting that thing," Lester said, pointing at Monroe, "into any more clothes."

"Just for saying that," Ranger told him, "I'm willing to consider Steph's suggestion."

"Fuck."

"Did you know that they have full tuxedos for dogs?" Steph added, curling her arms around Ranger like the timer keeping track of the seconds she could be away from him had gone off. "Maybe we should see if they have an extra, extra large for our puppy."

"Steph, he's the opposite of a fucking 'puppy'. And I'll pay for your honeymoon if you don't."

"I knew I liked you for a reason."

"No one but me is paying for our honeymoon," Ranger told his wife.

"We haven't discussed that, have we?" Steph asked him. "If we're having one or where we're going if we do."

"No. We haven't really had a free moment to make future plans, immediate or otherwise."

"Well, we did the important stuff. You and Tank won, and me and you got married before we could talk each other out of it."

"That wasn't on my agenda."

"So you say when you're legally obligated to."

"I don't make decisions I'll want to reverse."

"That's the sexiest thing you've ever said to me," Steph teased.

"You glad you missed out on the festivities now?" I said to the men. "They were like this the entire time. Even during the competition, she was shouting her love for Ranger. It was distracting."

"Very funny. I was yelling nice things to you too. Me and Ranger are a lot of fun to be around, and you know it."

"You are," Gene said.

"I vote for a wedding redo with an open bar," Zip added.

"On a weekend," Bones suggested. "I don't work weekends."

"We'll keep your schedule in mind," Ranger deadpanned.

Bones went pale and then went quiet. "I didn't …"

"He's kidding, Bones," Steph assured him. "You can't see it on the outside, but the Boss is happy and is turning a little playful."

Ranger opened his mouth to disagree and likely threaten to shoot someone, but Steph put her mouth against it to stop whatever it was he was going to say. They got distracted and forgot we were here until Monroe got up on his hind legs and put his front paws against Steph's side so he could be included in their moment.

I assume he would've loved to push Ranger away from her, but he isn't stupid. His life here depends on how Ranger feels about him. Or more accurately, how willing he is to make Stephanie happy.

"Jeez, Monroe. A little privacy please," Steph said once her lips were free.

"Privacy? You were just kissing the Boss like he's your primary oxygen source in front of all of us," Lester was quick to point out.

"Yep, a second wedding ceremony sounds good if it means we can torture Lester. Mom isn't invited," Steph said, suddenly remembering that her father and grandmother are on the floor.

"We'll discuss that if and when the topic comes up again," Ranger told her. "Right now, just enjoy what's happened during the last few days."

"I am. While we watch the crappy video footage I took of the competition, I'm gonna keep reminding myself that I'm now a married woman with a daughter, a dog, and a building full of people who are genuinely happy for us."

"You want me to call Shorty?" Ranger asked her.

"Yes. I have the best, it seems only fair that Dad and Grandma get to experience at least the best pizza while they start seeing you the way I do."