So this is the first time I've started writing this year. I know I've already published two new chapters but those were already written. This is new new for me. I'm not gonna lie, this past year has been tough. I lost my papaw, who's one of the most important people in my life. It was hard to find satisfaction in anything I did. Even now, I'm struggling and it has been over six months since he left us. But writing is one of my favorite things in the world. I know it's been a long time since I worked on this, longer than my other stories that have been worked on then abandoned again, but I'm trying to keep myself engaged in this story. I know how this is ending and I'm looking forward to getting there. I've even been avoiding reading any fics or regular books in hopes that the will to write wouldn't go away. Chapter Seventeen brought me back to writing (because seriously, what even was that ending?) So here's hoping I still l stick around a while.
Anyways if you've been around since the beginning, thanks for sticking around all these years. If you're new, well be happy you haven't been around that long because I'm the queen of updating a new chapter then disappearing for months and possibly even years at a time. I'll try not to do that again. I have through chapter Twenty written though so that's good right?
Anyways, on to the story! I hereby disclaim any ownership to Transformers and anything related to that world. Jess and her family is all that is mine.
Chapter Eighteen:
I hadn't made it far after I left the medbay before I collapsed onto the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest to bury my face in. A moment, I just needed one moment to gain control of my emotions once more and stop the tears that burned at the corner of my eyes. Focusing on my breathing, I tried to slow my rapidly beating heart. There was an ache that blossomed deep in my chest, made worse by Ratchet's agonizing call echoing in my brain.
I hurt him again. Why did I keep hurting him?
The kiss had taken me by surprise, but the second his lips had touched mine, I was lost in him. I knew I loved him, but that kiss awakened my senses in a way I've never experienced before. I yearned for his touch, my body boiling hot with need. Staying away would be nearly impossible now that I've had just a small taste of him. But I couldn't. I can't put him in danger like that. He would be targeted just as my parents were, and I can't lose him. It would absolutely destroy me.
My fingers grazed across my lips. That had been my first kiss. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside, even as the adrenaline of the moment faded and my fear set in one more. Our first kiss had been like the ones you read in fairy tales, explosive and beautiful, fiery and passionate, warmth and happiness. It was everything I had ever wanted and yet it was something I could never allow myself to have.
I didn't know much about relationships or love. When most kids were experimenting with those things, I was locked away from the world (usually drugged up). The closest I'd ever gotten to dating ended in absolute disaster. Mostly I tried to suppress the memories of those weeks, but they basically hit me full force in the aftermath of my first actual kiss.
I was about sixteen at the time and I had finally gotten control of my fits. This was the first time I'd been allowed to join the others, as game night was an earned reward. It was scarcely monitored, with only a camera watching the room and a doctor checking in every five minutes or so. That kind of freedom was golden when you were so used to someone watching your every move at every moment of the day.
I knew a few of the others from group therapy, some of them having been there as long as I had been. There was one boy in particular whom I'd always gotten along with. Lukas. He had been admitted a year previously, and luckily Lukas had never seen me when I lost control; thus creating an easy friendship between us. He always sat beside me in group therapy and the few times I was allowed to eat with others in the cafeteria.
Lukas and I immediately gravitated towards one another as soon as we were escorted into the recreational hall. We joined two others for a few rounds of Uno. I didn't know these two very well, Robert and Kira were both nearly always on watch. Their issues ran deep and more than once they were sedated and taken away after particularly bad episodes. They had been good this week however, so they'd been allowed to join in on game night.
"So Lukas, what's your story? Kira and I are both paranoid schizophrenics who can't seem to find the right medicine to help with the voices, and Jess has been here since the dawn of time. What landed you in mental jail?" Robert asked as he dealt out the cards for the first round.
Lukas shifted uncomfortably. He never talked in group therapy, choosing to keep his story between his own therapist and himself. I couldn't blame him for that. If it weren't for that fact that everyone knew I was the crazy girl who threw weird fits at random times, I would probably play it close to the vest as well. "Leave him alone, Rob. Not everyone wants to talk about their problems. Let's just play the game."
Robert shrugged, unaffected by my dismissal. "It was only a question."
"She's right, it's none of our business." Kira smiled reassuringly at Lukas. He tentatively returned it. Robert rolled his eyes but let it go thankfully. Kira, however, was curious about another thing. "So are you two like dating or something? You're always sitting together and I've never heard Lukas talk to anyone else. It's cool if you are, but I'm not sure how well a relationship will work in a mental hospital."
I started, stunned at the thought of dating anyone. I'd been in this place for six years now, a boyfriend seemed like a fantasy that was only real in fairy tales. No self respecting guy would be interested in a girl who has a tendency of disassociating and talking in tongues. Why would anyone be interested in me? I was nobody, a weirdo. No, there was no way Lukas would ever be interested in me in that way. The disbelieving frown he wore only served to strengthen my resolve. "In case you've forgotten, Kira, I'm a freak. No guy would ever be interested in dating the girl who's spent the past six years holed up in a mental hospital. It's not fair of you to assume Lukas would like me, of all people, like that. We're just friends."
Kira looked taken back by the icy tone of my voice. I hardly ever lost my cool around others, but I hated when people placed normal expectations on me. Perhaps if we were at a school and we were all regular kids, Lukas and I could have something more. But we weren't and I had long accepted that I wasn't worthy of something like love. That's why my parents abandoned me here after all.
"That's not true." Lukas suddenly growled, shocking all three of us. He never spoke to anyone outside of me and his therapist, the fact that he was talking around the other two was unbelievable. "You are not a freak. And I do like you and would gladly be your boyfriend if you wanted me to be."
My jaw dropped in surprise.
Kira and Robert both laughed in delight. "Get it girl!" They both teased me simultaneously. I had lost all forms of brain function however and was unable to formulate any sort of reply.
Lukas' face brightened considerably and he looked down at his cards. "Of course, I understand if you don't want me. You're perfect and I'm not." He squeaked out while nervously running a hand through his hair.
"I- uh. I- wha-, I do-. I d-don't know w-what to say." I stumbled through my words, barely able to get a full sentence out. How does one even respond to something like that? How do normal people handle finding out their best friends actually like them. "I've never thought about the possibility of me having a relationship. I don't know how to be a girlfriend, or know how to even recognize if I'm in love. I want to say yes but I just don't think I could be the girl you deserve." I finally managed to get out.
He smiled warmly, eyes lit up with joy despite my rejection. "I understand that. And I'm willing to just take it one day at a time. We're friends first right?" I nodded. "Then that's good enough for me. Just know that I'm open to more, if- if you ever decide that's something you'd be interested in."
"Okay. How about, on our next game night, we have a practice date. We can see if that's something we want to continue or if being just friends is better." I suggested after a moment of silence.
Lukas quickly agreed.
And that's just what we did. The next game night he and I spent the entire time together. Playing videos, eating snacks, laughing and talking and just all around having a good time. It was the happiest I had been in six years. Lukas had seemed so normal. It made me wonder why he was here in the first place. Despite how obviously shy he was, I never saw a reason for him to be here.
It wasn't until our fourth game night together that everything went so wrong. I finished up with therapy early that night so I was able to get to the rec room before everyone else. I took a seat at my usual table and waited for him to come in. However, hardly a minute passed before the alarms started going off.
I jumped up from my spot and rushed to the door. The only reason the alarms ever went off is if there was a rogue patient, usually one with a weapon. I wanted to be ready in case they came in here. Typically the doctors caught the patient quickly enough but I wasn't going to risk it by staying back. The last thing I needed was some crazy guy or girl coming in here stirring up trouble. I hoped Lukas was okay.
The door burst open before I reached it, causing me to stumble backwards in surprise. I recognized Lukas right away and felt a spark of relief.
That is, until I noticed the sharp knife in his hand. How in the heck had he gotten that. And why was he giving me such a manic grin? "Jessica! Just the girl I was looking for! Listen, I'm busting out of her, like right now. I figured I should probably bring my girlfriend with me. This place is full of demons, you see, and we need to get as far away as possible. So let's go." He gestured towards the door with the already bloodied knife.
I gulped in fear. "Lukas, what did you do?" I asked him shakily. He glanced down at the weapon and shrugged. "Nothing that they didn't deserve. Dr Martin was a joke, she wouldn't listen to me about the devil so she needed to be disposed of. I bet you she was one of those demons. Now come on before they catch us!"
I shook my head, backing away quickly. There was no way I was going with him. Clearly there was something wrong with his head and I was not about to get involved with whatever it was he wanted to do.
There was a flicker of frustration that shadowed across his face. He shut the door, locking it and then laid down the metal bar across the door. It was typically used to prevent a murderous patient from coming in, like Lukas now, to protect other patients and staff. But they never planned for it to lock someone in with said murderer. My estranged boyfriend held up the knife threateningly and took a step towards me. "You're either with me or against me, Jessica. I can't have you messing up my plans. If you're not going to join me, then you're probably evil just like Dr Martin and that means you need to be taken care of as well."
My heart jumped into my throat, was I about to die? "Pl-please Lukas, this isn't you. You would never hurt me or anyone else. Come on, we've been friends for over a year now. You know I'd always have your back, but this-" I gestured at blood-dripping steel that inched ever closer to me as he continued forwards. "This is too much for even me. I don't know what's going on, but you have to snap out of it."
Lukas chuckled darky, an evil sound that had me shivering in fear. I wasn't getting out of this easily. "No Jess, you need to think. Open your mind and see just how fucked up this place truly is. It can only be the work of the devil himself and I will not let it control me. Since you've made your choice, I clearly have to make mine. Goodbye my love, I hope Hell treats you well."
He lunged forward, the knife poised to sink deep into the flesh above my heart. However I threw myself to the side, narrowly avoided its sharp pierce and instead rolled across the carpet and into the legs of a nearby table. Lukas recovered quickly so I shoved my body beneath the table and crawled away. Lukas tried to grab my foot but only managed to get my shoe, which I kicked out of and continued to the other side. Once I made it, I pulled myself up and, without looking back, I made a break for the door of the rec room.
I heard banging on the door and could see my therapist, Dr Linda, as well as several other doctors and security guys trying to get into the room. I had nearly made it to the door when an arm curled around my waist and pulled me back.
I screamed in terror.
"You're not going anywhere." Lukas growled maliciously in my ear before he threw me onto the floor. I caught myself with my arms before quickly turning to face him once more.
By now, I had tears making trails down each side of my face. "P-p-please Lukas, d-don't do this." I begged him as my heart thundered in my chest. So this was the end, killed by my mentally unstable boyfriend in this stupid hospital jail that I'd spent so much of my life in already. How poetic was that.
Not very, of course.
Lukas raised the knife, ready to bring it down on me. I flinched and closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable pain to occur.
However, it never came.
I heard a whimper and when I looked up, Lukas was clutching his head with both his hands, the sides of the knife he held digging into his cheek. "No, not her. I c-can't."
He growled and stepped backwards away from me. His eyes flashed open and he glared at me. "But she's obviously working with the demons, why else would she refuse to come with us."
Us?
"She looks terrified, maybe they're threatening her? O-or maybe, I'm the one who's scaring her. Oh shit, I am.
What does it matter, she's not important just kill her already.
I can't, I love her.
Love is for the weak.
No it's not, shut up!
Maybe you're just the weak one.
I'm not weak.
Yes you are. Kill the girl.
NO, I WON'T!
JUST FUCKING KILL HER!
ARRGHH!"
I watched, completely frozen in fear as Lukas seemed to argue with himself. What the fuck is going on here? He had gone completely insane. We were now at a standstill and I wasn't sure what to do from here.
The sound of someone banging on the door reminded me that there were people nearby who could help. So as Lukas continued to scream at himself, I slowly and quietly crawled away. When I reached the door, I carefully removed the metal barrier and unlocked it. As soon as I stepped aside, the door was shoved open and flooded with security and doctors. Dr Linda quickly took me into her arms and I returned her hug, trembling when Lukas screamed with rage. She guided me out of the room and away from the Hell I had just experienced.
And that was pretty much how my only relationship began and ended. Not the best tale, by any means necessary. Lukas ended up getting taken away, not sure exactly where but I'm sure it was somewhere he could be more closely monitored. I never did find out where he got the knife from. There were a lot of security changes that occurred after that incident. Luckily Dr Martin had survived, but I knew she had to have surgery and it was touch and go for a while.
And thus my brief dating life was over before it even had a chance to take off. Guess you really can't find love when you hang out with mentally unstable people.
Love and friendship were such fragile concepts before I came here to Jasper and met the Autobots. In some ways, I still expected and waited for the other shoe to drop and for them to either abandon or try to murder me. It seemed to be a common occurrence in my life so why should it be any different now?
Still, the Autobots and the kids amazed me each and everyday with their unwavering support and love. I knew I had a true family here.
So why was I constantly fucking it all up.
The clanking sound of approaching footsteps had me quickly standing back up, dabbing at the corner of my eyes. Cliffjumper came into view only a second later, his optics immediately zeroing in on me. He had this uncanny ability to read me like a book and knew straight away that I was upset. My guardian vented, almost warily, before offering me his hand. I hesitated for just a moment before sighing and climbing onto his palm.
However, instead of taking me towards the front where all our friends were waiting for me to reappear, he moved deeper into the silo. Instantly I realized he was taking me back towards our room, no doubt for a long overdue chat.
"What is this, kidnap Jessica day or something?" I muttered irritability. I just wanted to see my friends, and check up on Lennox. He was brought here against his will, even if it was to be rescued, and I was the only person he actually knew. I can't imagine how awkward he must be feeling right about now.
Cliff didn't bother to reply. Instead he continued to walk towards our quarters, with only the sounds of his echoing footsteps to fill the silence. When we reached our room, he opened the door and then set me down near my bed. A moment later, his holoform appeared next to me. I noted the crossed arms and stern look on his face curiously. Was he seriously about to give me a lecture? It wasn't my fault I was kidnapped (again). I just had some seriously cruddy luck.
I let out a puff of air and gestured lazily at him. "Go on, say it."
He raised an eyebrow. "Say what?"
"You know, the usual. You need to be more careful, the Decepticons are after you. You're the Allspark, we need to keep you safe. Your life is not only important to us, your family, but to the entire universe. Yadda, yadda, yadda." I flung my hands in the air dramatically with a faux disappointed frown. I'd heard this all before, multiple times, and I was just so tired of it.
"I wasn't going to say any of that."
"Uh huh, sure."
"I wasn't."
"I don't believe you."
"Well you should."
"But I don't."
"Okay then, don't."
"I won't."
"Good."
"Great."
"Fantastic." Cliff exhaled sharply and shook his head, dropping one arm to his side and the other reached out to take mine in it. "What I was going to say, or rather ask, is why are you doing this to yourself?"
I blinked. "What?"
"Why are you keeping yourself locked away from Ratchet? I've been keeping my mouth shut since you essentially broke up with him, but I can't do it anymore. You're both absolutely miserable and it's hurting not only me, but everyone around us to see you guys so heartbroken. You both love each other, so why won't you just let him in."
My eyes were suddenly drawn to the floor as his words sank in. It hadn't occurred to me that the others would feel helpless to our situation, but I guess it should have. Families tend to feel one another's pain as if it were their own. I wasn't used to people caring about what happened in my life. And considering other people's feelings were something that had never been on my radar, why would it be when I always had to go it alone. I felt a lump grow in my throat and muttered at his implications, "It's complicated."
"That's bullshit." Cliffjumper practically growled. I gaped at him in surprise, unused to hearing such a harsh tone coming from him, especially when directed at me. "There's nothing complicated about what the two of you have except what you choose to make. You need to get out of your head and realize it's not just about you and how you feel. His feelings and opinions are just as valid and they deserve to be heard and considered. You shutting him out, refusing to let him have a single thought or opinion about your relationship is just selfish."
"I-"
Cliff raised his hand, instantly cutting me off before I could reply. "No, you're going to hear me out. Now I understand the past few months have been pretty harsh for you-"
"Pretty harsh." Now that was an understatement considering I was kidnapped and tortured, then witnessed my parents get murdered by the assholes who took me hostage. It's been a fucking nightmare. Who was he to downplay what I've gone through. My experiences are my own and they've been pretty fucking terrible. The more my guardian spoke, the quicker I could feel my anger rising. How could he be so dismissive towards my feelings?
"-but that shouldn't stop you from living your life the way you want to. You deserve to be happy and so does Ratchet. We're in a war, there will always be a new battle to fight. If you let that stop you from living your life, you're just going to waste away into nothing. So will he. And that will be on you."
I couldn't help but laugh harshly. "On me? On me? You have got to be kidding me right now Cliff."
"I'm not."
"You're actually serious? I didn't choose this life, to be the Allspark, to be hunted, to watch my friends and family be targeted and- and," my voice grew shrill in hysteria. "AND MURDERED."
"I never said that, you're twisting my words around. This is about you and the doc."
"Oh so I should just stand aside and let him be killed because we're in love? How the hell is that fair to him? He shouldn't have to sacrifice himself to be with me."
"THIS IS A WAR JESS!" Cliffjumper's sudden yell caused me to jump in surprise. He took a deep breath before continuing in a quieter, though still tense, tone. "This is war. Everyone is targeted, no one is spared from the torture chambers or death. Every Autobot has had to face it. We've been dealing with this slag for centuries now. One girl isn't going to change that."
I shook my head fiercely and whispered painfully. "I can't be responsible for anyone else's death."
"Yeah. Well that's just too bad." He snarled. Cliff took a step back and then raised his hands towards me. "I would lay down my life for you. Not just because you're the Allspark, but because you are my best friend. I think of you as a sister and I would do anything to protect you, including jumping in front of a cannon. Arcee, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, First Aid, hell even Optimus Prime himself would sacrifice their lives to save yours. And as we find more Autobots out here, they too would die for you. Whether you and Ratchet are together, there's no doubt in my processor that he would do the exact same thing. The Cons will do whatever it takes to break you down, they will kill everyone you love and protect as if they were nothing. Because they're evil, pit-spawned fraggers who don't give a flying slag about life. Nothing will change that. So you might as well let yourself be happy for once and be with the mech who you love more than anything in this world and vice versa."
"That's not fair. I didn't ask you guys to risk your lives for me. You shouldn't have to. If it wasn't for the Allspark, I would be nothing but a severely damaged, mentally unstable girl who still lives with her mom and dad because she barely knows how to function without any sort of support."
"That's not true."
"Yes it is." I hissed. "I spent years being told that I was a freak. How can I not believe that? Why does being the Allspark change that? Would you guys even care about me if it wasn't for my stupid powers?"
Cliff frowned, his face marred with disappointment and pain. My heart clenched at the sight. Once more I was hurting the people I loved with my words. But I just couldn't stop myself. I had to say the words that were buzzing in my head, and had been ever since I got here. "Of course we would. We don't love you because you have powers. All of us here love you because you're you, Jessica. You're the girl willing to run head first into battle against a Decepticon despite your tiny size and impossible odds. You saved my life in more ways than one and I can't imagine life without you anymore."
"Why do you guys have so much faith in me? Especially when I have so little in myself." At that moment, I felt utterly defeated. It was as if all the fight I had in me deflated the more he argued back. His words made sense, even if my heart fought strongly against them.
I wanted to believe him. More than anything.
"That's what a family is. We pick one another up and we give them strength when they're struggling. Let us be your strength Jess. You don't have to carry this all on your own."
"Okay."
I wasn't sure what I was saying okay too, but at that moment, I was just so vulnerable. I wanted their help to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart. I was so tired of feeling so alone all the time. I just wasn't sure how to do all of this, how to be a family. Cliff knew this, and there was no doubt in my mind that they all would help me figure it out.
With my final words, Cliff's holoform disappeared. His bipedal form straightened up and then walked around me to exit from our room. However he paused once more and turned to face me briefly. "Consider what I said very carefully, Jessica. I don't know how much longer you can continue to push Ratchet away before he finally breaks."
Then he left completely, closing the door to leave me alone with my racing thoughts.
XxRebelWriterxX
It took me maybe another twenty minutes to pull myself together enough to be able to leave the room. The hall was empty, Cliff having no doubt rejoined the others. So I started the walk towards the front of the silo.
My thoughts were buzzing in an attempt to process all that had happened today. And there was a lot to muddle through. It was hard to believe that it had been less than twelve hours since I was kidnapped again. It seemed like my new reality was crumbling around me just as I was finally reaching an okay point with Ratchet. My training was going great, and I truly felt like part of the team. Working with Lennox was a bonus that had also given me a purpose outside of being the Allspark.
And in just a matter of hours, it was all destroyed by a single kiss.
Well, and MECH, can't forget those assholes.
Now both Ratchet and Cliffjumper, of all bots, were upset with me. They were the two most important beings in my universe but now I felt so much guilt that I wasn't sure I'd be able to look them in the eyes. I didn't know where to go from here, everything was just so confusing. Was love always this complicated? If so, how did anyone ever handle it? Surely the complications I faced were far more extreme than anything anyone else ever had to face. Was there really ever any hope for us?
Everything in me yearned to say yes, there was always hope. And now that kiss we shared was seared into my brain, replaying on repeat, destroying what little sanity I had left. My limbs burned with the need to run, to both find him, hold him close and never let go, or disappear far away from my problems. Was Cliff right? Am I self-sacrificing myself for no reason? Primus himself said I should avoid falling in love but he never told me what to do if I did.
It was moments like this when I really wished my mom was alive. She and I might have had our differences, but she always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.
The sound of laughter broke me from my thoughts. I walked into the main room of the silo, where almost everyone was gathered. Ratchet was missing, no doubt he was back in the medbay. I hoped he was okay, though I knew he was not. He was hurting, because of me.
"Jessica!"
"Oof." I wheeze when I was suddenly tackled by my three overly enthusiastic human friends. "Hey guys, nice to see you too." They let me go and took a step back, but before I could say anything more, Miko punched me in the shoulder. "Ow! What was that for?"
She glared weakly at me, but could barely hold it for five seconds before a relieved smile spread across her face. "You, dummy, for getting kidnapped again, and then the first thing you do when you get back is disappear for over an hour. What is that?"
"Sorry Miko. None of it was actually my fault though." My eyes briefly darted to Cliff, who stood on the other side of the room talking to Arcee. "But I'm fine, I swear. No injuries to report. Mostly I'm just hungry because I've not eaten all day."
"Well, lucky for you, moms bringing pizza. I told her it was going to be a late night and she pretty much insisted she would supply dinner. Couldn't tell her no." Jack shrugged, though I noted a tightness around his eyes that told me just how irritated he was with his mother's constant interference. She'd been here pretty much everyday since discovering Jack's secret and it was slowly driving everyone, except maybe Optimus, crazy. No one had any intention in keeping her away; however, Jack was her underage son. She didn't have to let him come here.
Still though, having her around was pretty uncomfortable. Despite the many times I had joined the two of them for dinners over the months before my parents passing, June had pretty much decided I was public enemy number one, with Will being number two. It was most likely because we were both human adults who allowed Jack to run head first into danger multiple times. And considering the fact that she knew me, I guess that upset her more. She probably felt betrayed. Just one more person to add to my growing list, I suppose.
"Awesome, pizza sounds good." I scanned the room for Lennox. He was standing on the second floor, talking with Will (I wonder when he got here) and Optimus. I told the kids I would be right back and made my way over to them. Optimus noticed me approaching and offered his palm to lift me up with the other humans. "Hey guys, Lennox are you doing alright? I know today's been pretty crazy."
He chuckled, looking amused by my understatement. "I'm alright. Sure it's been a weird few hours but hey, I knew I was signing up for something pretty big when my superiors offered me this chance. I didn't expect aliens, of course, but hey, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity right?"
"Right." I grinned, relieved that he was taking it all in stride. Then I looked up at Optimus first and then over to Will. "So it seems like Captain Lennox here was introduced to the team a little earlier than we anticipated. But honestly, I think he'd be perfect for the job. We get along great and I think the two of us can work together to successfully pull off a Human-Autobot division. It's by my recommendation that Captain William Lennox is offered the position."
Will nodded, having already guessed that that would be my conclusion. Optimus looked thoughtful. "If that is your choice, then I trust you implicitly."
It amazed me how much confidence Optimus had in my ability to pick a trustworthy team member. They were placing their lives in my hands, without a second thought. And I knew that even if I were wrong about Lennox, and he somehow handed our location over to the Decepticons, their faith in me would not be shaken. I hoped, with everything in me, that I never did anything that would betray the confidence the Autobots have in me.
"Thanks Lieutenant Sutton, if the offer is really being extended to me, then I accept." Lennox spoke up gratefully.
"Well then, welcome to the team, Captain Lennox."
June had arrived shortly after our conversation. All the humans gathered upstairs to eat some pizza and get to know one another. Well, more like getting to know Lennox. I was happy to see that everyone got along well with him. He fit into our little family seamlessly, as if he'd been there from the very beginning.
After dinner was finished, everyone began packing up to head home. I hugged each of my human friends before they went. Lennox was catching a ride with Fowler, but there were talks of him moving into the Silo sometime soon. It would be fun to have another human living here full time.
As soon as they were gone, I was hit with a wall of exhaustion. All of my energy had been zapped after all the excitement I'd been through in the past fifteen or so hours. Still, I hesitated on heading towards the room I shared with Cliff. After our little argument, I wasn't sure where we stood. Would my guardian still want to share a room with me? I had never felt this uncertain about something that had to do with my best friend.
However, I needn't have worried. A hand appeared in front of me, offering a ride. I looked up in surprise and smiled shyly at Cliff. "Come on, partner. It looks like it's way past your bedtime."
I carefully climbed into his palm and held onto his thumb as he rose back up. "Thanks Cliffjumper."
XxRebelWriterxX
The next morning, I rose out of bed slightly later than usual. Cliff was already gone. It was pretty surprising that he hadn't woken me up before he left. Really though, I was thankful for the opportunity to sleep in. Yesterday had taken a lot out of me mentally and emotionally.
It was well past noon when I finally emerged from my bedroom. I stopped by the kitchen to grab a protein bar and water before making my way to the main room up front.
Arcee and Jack were the first two I spotted upon my arrival. Just past them, Ratchet and First Aid were messing with the main computer. My heart skipped a beat as the memory of our kiss flashed through my mind. 'Snap out of it, Jess." I thought to myself. Now was not the time to get all warm and flustered around him, not after I broke his spark, again, less than twenty four hours ago. I pushed those confusing thoughts and feelings deep down and tore my eyes away from said mech, thankful that he'd been turned away from me and hadn't seen my gaze. However, my eyes locked with Cliff's optics and I knew he'd seen me staring.
I looked away from him just as quickly.
Jack welcomed me with a hug when I reached him and Arcee. "Good morning Jess, sleep well?" He asked me warmly. From the corner of my eye, I just barely caught Ratchet stiffening at Jack's greeting. Guilt gnawed at my stomach, but I still managed to smile at my friend and assure him that I had.
"Arcee, Cliffjumper, there is a vehicular form that is approaching." Ratchet warned suddenly, and the sound of his voice sent butterflies into my stomach.
"Decepticon?" The two of them asked simultaneously. My guardian's optics shifted towards me and he looked poised to pick me up and run if he needed too. However he did not have to. Ratchet was able to focus on the vehicle and it was one we all recognized right away. "Ugh." Arcee growled with frustration.
"Mom." Jack groaned and shook his head in belief. I couldn't believe she was here again, neither could Arcee and she said as much. "She worries." He tried to justify.
June's car pulled into the silo, parking a few feet in front of us. She turned the car off, and opened her front door to smile at her son. "Hi honey!" She called before rushing over to hug him tightly. "Finished my shift early at the hospital today so I thought I'd swing by. Good to see you again, doctors." She directed Ratchet and First Aid. Ratchet only nodded his acknowledgment while First Aid said hello to her back. Then she nodded up at Arcee and Cliff, who returned it with a slight smile. I could still see the frustration in the femmes' eyes however. She did not address myself but that wasn't much of a surprise. "So, where's Optimus?"
"On a scouting mission with Bumblebee and the twins." Ratchet replied. He was still facing away from us. He hadn't turned to face us since I walked into the room. "Sorry to disappoint."
"And I wore heels and everything."
"Mom!" Jack exclaimed in horror. June just smiled slyly back at her son.
"That's odd, this is an extremely unusual magnetic flux, for any planet." Ratchet spoke up, sounding both confused and concerned for whatever readings he was currently getting.
I hummed thoughtfully. "Do you think Megatron has something to do with it?" I wondered aloud. Why else would there be some kind of weird activity happening? He or one of the other Decepticons always seemed to be the cause for anything weird.
Ratchet finally turned around to face us. His optics locked onto my eyes, his expression unreadable. I knew what he was thinking about though, it was the same thing that plagued my mind as well. But now wasn't the time to deal with that, because now there was a problem that needed solving. "It's very likely he's somehow involved. And even if he's not, I wouldn't be surprised if Soundwave had picked up the disturbance and warned him about it." He replied after a moment of silence.
"Then this is probably one of those things I should stay away from, huh?"
He looked surprised at my easy acceptance to staying put. Usually I fought tooth and nail to be able to join on missions. "That would be wise, yes."
Before I could say another word, the sound of an approaching vehicle caught everyone's attention. Bulkhead had arrived with Miko and Raf. As soon as he came to a stop, his door opened to reveal the two laughing forms. They climbed out Bulks alt-forms and he immediately transformed. "Did you feel the Gs on that last turn! Bulkheads an animal!" Miko grinned as she gestured wildly. However they both paused in surprise, and discouragement, at the sight of June. "Remember when this used to be a secret club?" Miko muttered to Raf before they continued to walk over to us.
"Uh, don't worry Ms Darby, we were wearing seatbelts." Raf tried to assure June.
She simply laughed warmly at him. "I'm sure you were Rafael." Her gaze shifted over to the other girl. "Hi Miko, how's school going?"
"Why? What have you heard?"
"Let's do this thing Jack." Arcee interrupted before any more pleasantries could be exchanged. I yawned, already feeling tired despite how much sleep I had gotten the night before. And as June started protesting about whether or not Jack should go with his guardian, I found myself distracted by other thoughts.
I pat Jack on the shoulder when Arcee decided to accompany Bulkhead to check out the magnetic flux that Ratchet was concerned about instead, choosing to leave him behind because of his mother's interference. June shot me a dirty look, as if it were my fault that her son was upset that he couldn't go on the mission with the other two. I just rolled my eyes and walked over to my guardian. "I think I'm gonna go lay down for a little while, I'm still feeling a little tired."
"Really? But you've slept over twelve hours already! I didn't think humans need that much sleep." Cliff remarked with a concerned frown.
I just shrugged. "Yesterday just took a lot out of me. Come get me when everyone returns from their missions."
He nodded his confirmation and so I took my leave. I noticed Jack was now by himself and I wondered where Miko and June could've gotten too. Hopefully the latter hadn't actually followed the others through the groundbridge, but I knew it was a strong possibility. Miko had a knack for getting into all kinds of trouble.
June I actually found just inside the hallway. She had a frown on her face and she was twisting her ponytail with her right hand. "Is everything alright?" I asked her, even though I was not at all prepared to be chewed out by yet another person.
Her eyes hardened when she realized who I was. "Oh, it's you. It's really none of your business. You're the reason why my son is tangled up in all this nonsense after all." June practically accused me.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Before he met you, Jack was always a good kid. He got excellent grades, worked hard at his part time job, and most importantly he stayed out of trouble. I never had to worry about him. Now I don't know whether or not my baby boy will make it home each night. You got him snared in this war and nothing I say or do can get him away from all of this." She was basically in tears at the end of her speech.
I couldn't believe how much June actually blamed me for Jack's part in team Prime. "I can't control Jack's actions anymore than you can. He chose to be here. He even had the opportunity to leave this all behind when we first met the Autobots but he chose to stay here with us. Jack is family. Every last Autobot would do everything in their power to protect him, he knows this. And he trusts us. And besides, I wasn't the one who introduced him to the Autobots. He introduced me."
"You still should've told me. Jack is sixteen, a minor. I am his mother, I deserved to know that my baby was putting his life in danger each and every day." June's voice cracked with emotion and tears. "I'm his family, his real family. Why didn't he come to me?"
I sighed and shook my head. "Family isn't just blood. I don't know why Jack didn't tell you, that's between you guys. I'm not here to control his actions and Jack is my friend first. We found this world together and whether you like it or not, we're a part of it now. There's nothing you could ever do to change that."
"You're right. I know you're right. It just doesn't make this any easier. " She exhaled deeply. "Jack has always had a mind of his own. That boy acts way too old for his age. I don't like this situation, but there is nothing I can do to change it. I'm sorry for being so cold to you. I know it's not your fault, it was just easier to blame someone else than to come to the terms that my son was growing up. And that he didn't need me anymore."
I laid a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about it, you have your reasons and they are all valid. Just maybe talk to Jack more. Open communication is important in these types of situations. And I'm sure he is just dying to tell you everything about his past for months or so. And Jack will always need you, you're his mother. I miss mine every single day and I wish she were here with me now. He's lucky to have you."
June smiled slightly. She grabbed one of my hands and squeezed lightly. "If you ever need anything, even if it's just a hug from a mom, I'm here for you Jess"
I nodded gratefully, squeezing her hand back. She then left the hallway to rejoin the others. I shook my head before continuing my journey to my room. These past twenty four hours really had been some of the toughest mentally and emotionally that I had ever had. It just seemed to be one thing after the other. I really needed a break, and an opportunity to get out of my own head for just a little while.
I just wanted to be a normal girl for five seconds, was that too much to ask for?
This chapter just kept getting longer and longer. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to reach the plot of the episode! Even when I did, though, I barely hit on it. Tbh there was much this episode could do to add on to the plot of the story. I'm trying to step away from it being just a rewrite of the episodes with a little bit of side plot for my oc. The rest of the episode is basically what you've seen in the show, I didn't have anything new to add to it. Y'all should know what happened, so let's get to some ploooot!
Jessica sure has had it rough the past two chapters, hasn't she? I just love giving my characters all kinds of emotional turmoil to deal with. Things look pretty bleak for our favorite couple huh. Well don't worry! I know exactly what's going to happen from here on out and let's just say I'm super excited to write it!
Next chapter, we got Megatron! Whoop whoop! Jessica gets to finally meet the big bad. This should be delightfully interesting. Also I know we're missing Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, but they should return soon enough! Probably not the next chapter, but perhaps the one after. We shall see. It's hard incorporating the new bots when they don't coordinate with my OCs plot.
Until we meet again, my friends!