Hey guys sorry for the delayed chapter. Chapter Twenty one has me all mixed up and I've barely written anything on it. Plus I started new meds last week that knocked me on my ass. I was so sick for a solid four days. But I'm better now. Work has been busy too so my freetime has been very limited. I hope to have a new chapter next week but I can't guarantee it.

Also I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. It felt really rushed when I was reading through it. Give me your opinions so I can decide if I need to rewrite it lol. It took me a minute to decide how exactly I wanted this chapter to play out. There weren't really a lot of scenes that I could have Jess join in. Since this story is centered on her, that makes it kind of difficult. But I think I came up with something that will work. Here's hoping you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I disclaim this.

Chapter Twenty:

I was on Cybertron.

That was the only thing that made sense. This wasn't Earth, everything was too tall, too shiny, too… metal. And the destruction was infinite. The buildings were mostly all leveled, with bits of burnt metal twisted into odd shapes. The streets were charred black and littered with debris and shattered glass. There were tattered flags spread throughout the city, marking the territories of either the Decepticons or the Autobots.

But the most haunting thing of all was how eerily silent it was. There was not a single soul in sight. And I knew that there was most likely nobody on the planet.

So why was I brought here?

I was used to my dreams taking me all over the universe. I'd met so many different Cybertronians- be it Autobot, Decepticon, or a neutral- that I was used to appearing in random places on planets I've never visited before. But there was nobody here, so why was I?

"Because we needed a place to talk."

In front of me, an unfamiliar femme appeared. She hadn't been there for the beginning of my vision, yet here she was now. I wondered who she was.

"I am the Allspark, here before you on my home world. I assumed the appearance of a Cybertronian femme would be more acceptable than the cube form I had taken before you became my host?" She asked with a sweet smile.

"Oh...um, yes. That's good. Perfect." I stumbled to say. I was completely taken off guard at the physical sight of the Allspark. I somewhat communicated with her in my mind, but it was more of a feeling than actual words. I never expected her to appear before me as an actual Cybertronian.

She tilted her head curiously. "I understand your confusion. I never thought I'd have a physical form either. But this will do nicely. I hope you like this look. It will be yours soon enough."

I blinked. "What?"

"Have you still not figured it out then?"

The Allspark sounded sad when she said this. I didn't understand why. I mean sure, she looked really pretty. Her armor was a mixture of purple and silver, the colors twisting together to create elaborate patterns down her helm and across her body. She had door wings similar to Bumblebees and a single cute little antenna atop her helm. Finally her optics were a tranquil, cerulean blue that almost seemed to sparkle with kindness and intelligence.

She was, without a doubt, a beautiful Cybertronian. I didn't understand exactly what it was she wanted me to figure out. Why would I need to like this look? It's not as if I were going to become a Cyber-.

Oh.

"I'm turning into a Cybertronian, aren't I?"

The Allspark smiled gleefully. "I knew you could figure it out! Though that's not entirely accurate. You see, I cannot turn a human into an actual Cybertronian. That is beyond my means of power. I'm not even sure if Primus himself was capable of such magic. What I really needed to do was turn your soul into a spark. Then it could be transferred to a Cybertronian body and voila! We got ourselves a brand new femme!"

"So that's why I everytime use my powers…"

"You began producing more energon. The last time you used your powers, it was enough for a spark to begin growing." The Allspark flinched, grimacing at whatever thought that had just crossed her mind. " I do apologize for any accompanying pain. I hadn't realized how excruciating this would apparently be."

I hadn't really been in any pain though, except for that brief flash I'd gotten the last time I used my powers. So I told her as much. "You're right, but that was only the beginning of your spark forming. I fear the next time will be ten times worse. At least, I think it will be. I've never actually used an organic to create a spark. I have faith in you, though. It's why you were chosen."

So many questions were going through my mind, and I feared I wouldn't have time to get answers for them all. But there was one that needed to be answered, for my own sanity. "Why am I becoming a Cybertronian? You've already given me abilities that will extend my life indefinitely. I don't understand why changing my biology is necessary?"

The Allspark nodded with a grim frown. "Unfortunately, even with your enhanced abilities, an organic cannot sustain the powers of the Allspark. You are too weak, vulnerable to attack and an easy demise. The powers I have given you are merely a bandaid, necessary to keep you well until the transformation was completed. However, soon enough the Allspark would've begun eating away at your life force. Each time you would've used your powers, it would've brought you one step closer to death. Your family and I would have to watch your slowly waste away into nothing.

I couldn't let that happen. From the moment you touched that final shard of my previous form, I cared about you. I've seen your life play out, and despite all the hardship and pain you've encountered, you continued to be strong and kind. You're loyal to a fault and you care about everyone you come across. There is no better human I could've chosen. It had never been my plan to use an organic as a host, but I'm so glad I chose you." She knelt down and offered me a servo. I laid my own hand in hers, awed by the difference in size. That would be my hand someday soon.

I looked up at her, meeting her optics. They were shining with pride and affection for myself, causing my heart to swell with love. Despite my misgivings, this ancient being loved me beyond reason and that was incredible. For the first time in my life, I actually believed I could be someone special.

"You are special, little one. I am sorry for the childhood you had. When we first joined together, I was lost and confused. You know I've never used an organic for a host, but the truth is I've never used any living creature at all. Not even a Cybertronian. So I fought for control and when I'd gain it, I would be so confused. Everything was bright and colorful and loud. It moved too quickly and none of it made any sense. I still do not quite understand English and that is why we communicate in Cybertronian-"

I hadn't realized that was what we were doing, but she was right. We weren't speaking English. In fact, I don't think I ever spoke English in my dreams. That would explain how I communicated with all the Cybertronians I came across. I wonder why this skill didn't follow me into my waking world. It'd be nice to understand what Bee was saying.

"-but that is beside the point. I realize now that I caused you a lot of pain. That time we spent in that strange hospital was terrible. I hated how miserable you were. As you trained to control the fits I caused you, I worked on self control and patience. I could no longer guide my powers the way I wanted to, I needed to trust in you. While you didn't realize it, we were learning how to coinhabit together."

"Wow. That explains a lot actually." I chuckled. It was nice to finally know why I had so many fits growing up. It sucked that it led to me spending my childhood in a mental hospital, but I didn't blame the Allspark for that. She and I had both been thrown into this impossible situation. But we came out of it stronger than ever.

The Allspark seemed pleased with my acceptance. "I'm so glad you're taking this all so well. Things will only get more complicated from here. The energon that is running through your body now is keeping you alive and supporting your developing spark, but it won't be enough forever. Your organic tissue does not mix well with Life-En and soon enough it will begin to deteriorate. Then one by one, your organs will begin shutting down. I have accelerated your cell's growth cycle in hopes that it will produce enough cells to keep up with the failing ones. However this can only last for so long.

"The next time you use your powers, your spark will be nearly fully developed. It will begin burning up your heart and lungs as it demands more and more energy from your Life-En. This is where it will be the most painful. You will begin to weaken, and breathing will be difficult because it will hurt too much. I give you a week at most. You will need to use your powers one more time to create this body so that your spark can be transferred to it. This will fully develop your spark and, so long as you're united with your new body quickly, everything will be alright.

I must warn you not to play around. I mean it when I say you have only a week to live, if that. If you allow your body to fail, you will die. Your spark won't be able to sustain a transfer and it will go out as well. I'll be forced to find a new host."

Well that wasn't heavy or anything. "Okay, but what if I have to use my powers for something other than developing my new body?" That seemed like a good question to ask.

"Then your spark will need to stay within another Cybertronians chamber until a suitable body can be developed. This would not be ideal, however. It could take vorns. Too much could change in that time. You must create your new body before anything else. Once you are settled, you can then save any lost lives." She answered simply.

I nodded, satisfied with that. Then I looked away from her to take in Cybertron. It was such a beautiful planet and it pained me to see it utterly destroyed. I may have been born on Earth, but this planet seemed to hold a special place in my heart. Perhaps it was because it was the home of my Autobot family. But it felt like it was so much more than that. I just knew I was always meant to find my way here someday.

My destiny was to one day return this poor, desolate planet to his former glory. And I just knew I'd do everything physically possible to make that a reality. Cybertron was dead, but it wasn't meant to stay that way. Their war destroyed their home, but I would fix it.

I made that promise to myself and the Allspark at that moment.

"I knew I could count on you."

There was only one more thing that I was curious about. "Allspark, before you go, I need to know- is it possible for me to have a relationship? Primus warned me to stay away from love, but it's too late for that. I love Ratchet with every fiber of my being. Am I truly able to be with him or will fate keep us apart forever?"

The Allspark huffed. "I told him that it wouldn't be possible to keep the two of you apart. Yet he insisted on trying. It is possible and I believe it's important. Primus thinks if you have a sparkmate, you won't be willing to sacrifice everything should it come to that. I think it would only give you more of a reason. Love is a powerful motivator. Don't let anything or anyone keep you from it." She replied sternly. There was a touch of a smile on her dermas. "Besides, I like Ratchet. He makes you happy and you've earned your happiness. So I say frag it all, be with him. You have my unconditional support. Primus wants you to be happy as well, he's just a stubborn old being."

I giggled. "Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."

"Good! Now I believe it's time for you to wake up. I will always be with you, dear spark. I know things are uncertain now, but I promise you it will all work out in the end."

"I know it will. Thank you." Despite the height difference, I knew I had to hug her. She must have felt the same way because she offered me her servo once more so she could bring me up to her face. Then I hugged her cheek, soothed by the gentle thrumming of her spark.

XxRebelWriterxX

When I opened my eyes, it was in an empty room. I was definitely relieved by this. My mind was racing with the information overload I'd just been given. My whole world seemed to have shifted even more so than it already had, in just one single night. Really, I should be used to it by now. Ever since I got involved with the Autobots, it has been one crazy extreme to the next.

The night before had been a lot of fun. The concert had been loud and confusing, but the memories I had with my two friends had made it all worth it. Cliff had even materialized his holoform inside the stadium at one point so he could see what the hype was all about. He mostly found the whole affair to be quite amusing. Everything was loud, many people were obviously very drunk, but everyone was in high spirits as they laughed, danced, and attempted to sing to the obscure words that were being screeched out from the band.

So despite the turmoil that was wreaking havoc in my mind, I went to bed feeling better than I had in a long time. For the first time in a long time, I felt like a normal person.

Then I had a conversation with an ancient, powerful energy- who currently occupied my body- in my dreams. And suddenly I was reminded that I wasn't normal, far from it even. I was the Allspark. Soon enough, I wouldn't even be human anymore. Everything was changing faster than I could keep up with and that was scary.

It was approaching two in the afternoon when I finally emerged from my room. Cliff had already left before I'd even woken up, I was pretty sure he had patrolled with Arcee at noon. They'd been spending more and more time together lately. Honestly I expected them to announce they were together at any time. I'd seen the looks they gave each other. It was the same ones that Ratchet and I exchanged on a daily basis.

Speaking of Ratch, he was also weighing heavily on my mind. The conversation I had with the Allspark opened up many new possibilities with him. Though the thought of us being different species had been weird at first, I'd long since given up caring. The love I had for him went beyond physical appearance, I loved him for who he was.

The assurance the Allspark gave me was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I no longer felt that my powers were an obstacle that kept us apart. It was actually a means to bring us that much closer. Now all I needed to do was allow myself to open up to be in a relationship. That was the hard part.

As the day passed me by, I stayed lost in my thoughts. I tried to engage whenever someone's attention was on me, but I wasn't in it and I was sure they could tell. After a while, everyone left me alone to think.

The next week passed with my mind so occupied that I was barely present each day. I knew I was beginning to worry everyone, but I wasn't ready to talk to them about it. This was something that I felt like I needed to work through myself. I knew that kind of thinking had always been my kryptonite but I just could not bring myself to talk about it. Not yet anyways.

The problem was, it was beginning to affect my training and studies. I knew my mentors were a mix of concerned and frustrated with my lack of mental presence. It just seemed like I wasn't trying this week. That wasn't the case of course, I just had a million and one things on my mind. Of course, after a week of the same thing, I wondered if that was just becoming an excuse.

Sunstreaker was the first one to blow up at me. I typically started the days early, training with the twins and Cliff. I showed up on time that day and immediately did my warm up stretches. After that, we would go over some moves we'd been working on that week. Typically I could pick things up pretty quickly. But not this time. I ended up on my butt, or more often than not my face.

"How many times are you going to hit the ground, fleshie?" Sunstreaker snarled when I once again made a mistake and paid for it with my face. "It's not that fragging hard, we've gone over this hundreds of times."

I rolled my eyes and pushed myself back up. "What have I told you about calling me Fleshie, Sunny?" I snapped. The golden twin growled at the despised nickname and raised one of his sabers at me threateningly. I just pushed it away, ignoring the slight sting from moving something that sharp. "Oh grow up."

Sideswipe stepped in front of his twin and pushed him back. "Sunstreaker, calm down. It's obvious that Jessica has had something weighing on her mind this week. Can we really blame her for that? Perhaps it would be best to postpone training until you've worked out whatever has been bothering you. You're liable to get hurt otherwise."

"That might be a good idea." I sighed relieved. Though I was really frustrated with myself as well. Training was important, wasn't it?

Sunstreaker reattached his weapon before stomping out of the gym, muttering something about insufferable femmes. While our relationship had greatly improved from its beginning, mostly thanks to me saving his brother's life, Sunstreaker and I still argued more often than not. I think a part of him enjoyed it, though. I was pretty good at giving as much back as he threw at me, despite my tiny stature. Still, he was a pain in the aft who drove me crazy.

Cliffjumper knelt down beside me. "Are you alright? I know something has been bothering you this week. Is it because of Ratchet's discovery?"

"Yes. And no. It's kind of hard to explain, but I don't want to talk about it right now. I promise I will soon, I'm just trying to process some things right now." I replied with a slight shrug. I didn't want to worry him anymore, but I knew he would respect my wishes.

"Of course, I understand. You know I'm always here for you if you need to talk." My guardian assured me. Sideswipe also made sure I knew he was there for me as well and I thanked them both.

After that, I proceeded to the shower room to get cleaned up. I had a little bit of time until my lesson with Ratchet began so I decided to walk aimlessly around the Silo. This was probably my favorite thing to do when I had a lot going through my mind. The silo was typically pretty quiet the further in you went which I enjoyed immensely. It's pretty much how I've spent all of my freetime this week.

I knew they were just trying to help me so it sucked that I was worrying them so much. A part of me wondered if it were even necessary to continue our training since I wouldn't be human much longer. Of course, I wasn't sure when I'd be making the switch so it was probably best to keep up with it. And now I felt bad for canceling practices for an undetermined amount of time.

What a mess.

After about an hour of wandering around, I began the trek to the Medbay. I'd hoped to clear my head just a little bit before my lessons, but no such luck. I still felt really distracted.

This became apparent when I read the same sentence at least ten times during today's datapad lesson. I really did try to focus, but I just couldn't get into the work. This wasn't the first time this week I hadn't been able to read my work. Finally I growled in frustration and laid the pad on my knee. "Ratchet, I'm sorry but I don't think I can do this today. I always try to give one hundred percent to our lessons but I just can't concentrate on anything right now. Can we please postpone our lessons for a few days? I really need some time to work through some problems running through my head. " I asked. I hated canceling, but these lessons were too important to not give my entire focus to. It could cost someone their life someday if I weren't careful. I knew I was the Allspark but I didn't want to just rely on that.

Ratchet looked concerned, but he agreed with me. He also offered to talk if I needed it, but I told him the same thing I told Cliff. Right now I just needed some time to myself.

I finally decided to go to the very top of the Silo, and then outside. There was a small memorial set up by the Autobots for my parents. I was super grateful they had thought to do something like this since I couldn't go visit their graves.

There was a single chair that had been brought up for me. I sat down and just kind of stared at the pile of rocks that represented my parents.

"Hey mom, hey dad… It's been a while since I've been up here huh? I'm sorry for that. Things have just been kind of crazy, you know? Everyday I train with my mentors. I can feel myself becoming stronger and stronger. But even with my newfound abilities, I still feel so weak.

"I'm the Allspark. Yet I'm broken in so many different ways that I wonder if I'll ever be able to be the savior the Autobots deserve. How can a mentally deficient girl possibly save an entire planet and its people? Yet it's my destiny. I can't fail them, they're my family. The Autobots accepted me into their homes and into their lives without expecting anything from me. For the first time in my life, I feel like I've found my home.

"That must hurt, I'm sorry. I know you guys only did what you thought was best. Oh, I did finally learn why I had all those fits growing up. It was just the Allspark coming to terms with having a human host. Funny how we had to learn how to coexist together. It wasn't an easy journey but we did it.

"I've also learned that I'm changing. It's a pretty big change and I'm absolutely terrified. Not because I don't want this to happen, I'm actually kind of excited for this new life. But I feel like I'm letting go of the last thing that connects me to you guys. No offense, but you guys were kinda shitty parents. You left me, with no explanation whatsoever, at some random hospital on my tenth birthday. Then you basically ignored my existence for the next seven years until I was finally released. It's no wonder it was so hard for me to adjust to being in your lives again. But I did, and despite everything, I loved you guys. So losing this part of me is hard.

"I have to keep moving forward though. You guys are gone, and I'll never see you again. My family is here now, and I won't ever give them up. I'm gonna do all I can to embrace this next chapter of my life. I'm so sorry I caused your death. That will haunt me for the rest of my existence. But I promise that someday I will make you proud.

Goodbye mom and dad. I love you both so much."

When I finished my speech, I stood up and kissed the tips of my fingers, then touched the top rock. Then I turned away and walked back to the entrance of the elevator. My thoughts were still a jumbled mess, but talking to my parents had helped a little.

The main room was mostly empty, save for Optimus and Ratchet. I walked over and sat on the couch near them. Ratchet was busy typing something on the computer while Prime looked lost in thought.

The computer began beeping, alerting the two to something. "Optimus, our scanners have detected a Decepticon energy profile, but it's ancient." Ratchet explained, though he looked puzzled at the results. I looked at the screen curiously.

"The past has a way of catching up with the present, Ratchet." Optimus replied when he stepped closer to see what was going on. "It would be wise to check out whatever is causing this signature to appear. If we have detected it, then there's no doubt the Decepticons have as well."

"I'm guessing this is one mission I'll have to sit out on?" I asked, though I wasn't upset. I really wasn't in the right state of mind to put myself in that kind of danger. I would most likely get myself killed, or kidnapped again.

Prime nodded his agreement. "That would be wise. Megatron has already let it be known that he intends to kidnap and use you as soon as he gets the chance. I would rather minimize that possibility as much as I can."

"Understood."

After that, Optimus called for Arcee, Bee, the twins and Bulkhead to join him for reconnaissance. Cliffjumper was told to keep patrolling Jasper since that had been what he was doing. They left shortly after, leaving me alone in the silo with First Aid and Ratchet. The two of them were talking amongst themselves as they listened in on the others. I decided to try and get some more reading in while everyone was out.

A few minutes after they had left, Optimus came over the comms saying that they had found Starscream tied up and that he'd ask to join our side.

"Oh hell no, there's no way that… that murderer could possibly ever want to be on our side." I growled as I launched myself from my spot on the couch and marched over to the railing beside Ratchet. After Starscream killed my parents, I didn't think he deserved anything but to rot in the deepest pits of Hell.

"I understand your concern Jessica, but if there's even a chance that we might bring one Decepticon to the right side, we must act on that opportunity. Otherwise we may never end this war." Prime replied, wisely. I understood his point, really I did, but I just couldn't accept Starscream as an ally. He was just too slimy, too treacherous, and too evil. There was no way this Con would ever be good, he only did what benefited him in the moment. I knew Screamer would backstab my family without a second thought.

I didn't say a word however. Optimus was the leader, after all. If he decided to trust Starscream, then there was nothing I or anyone else could do about it. I just hoped he wasn't making a big mistake.

They were pretty quiet after that. I knew they had engaged Airachnid, a Con that I was glad I had yet to encounter. All of their life signals were still online, so that was good. It was just nerve-wracking waiting for something to happen.

Eventually Cliff returned from his patrols. Before he transformed, three figures exited his alt-form. "Look who I found!" He grinned before he joined us over at the computer. My human friends quickly joined me upstairs and asked what was going on. I explained to them what was happening while also monitoring what was happening on the screen.

What felt like several hours later, it had been like two, Optimus called for a bridge back to the base. When he suggested that Ratchet prepare the medbay, I got a nervous feeling in my chest. Who was hurt and how badly was it? And was this my final save before my transformation began? I'd really hoped to have more time so I could talk to my family about it. But it looks like I might have run out of time.

One more one, the bots returned through the groundbridge. When Bee came in, he was supporting a limp Arcee. Jack gasped in surprise at the state of his guardian. Energon was dripping from a scratch on her side, but the wound didn't appear to be life threatening. It could easily be fixed with a welding tool and some tlc.

Cliffjumper immediately ran to her side. But before Bee could hand her over to him, Arcee pushed him away with a scowl. "Why didn't you tell me Starscream was the one who murdered you?" She practically growled at him.

"What?" He and I asked at the same time, though mine was more of a question in horror kind of tone while Cliff was just confused. Not only was that asshole responsible for my parents death, but he had been the one to kill my guardian/ best friend? Who cares if I'd been able to bring him back to life. The fact that he'd now murdered three of the most important people in my life made him public enemy number one in my book.

Arcee looked just as upset as I felt. "I asked you so many times who had been the one to kill you, but you refused to tell me. Today Starscream practically gloated that he had been the one to snuff your spark. Why didn't you just tell me who it was?"

"Because I know you, 'Cee. You would've just gone after him for revenge, just like you do anytime you see Airachnid. Besides, I'm alive aren't I? Our amazing Allspark made sure of that. There's no reason to live in the past. We gotta keep moving forward." Cliff explained to her. She didn't look convinced so my guardian gave her a hug. "Everything's okay."

She sighed, somewhat exasperated. "It's really not. I've already lost one partner, and now I've almost lost another." Arcee laid her forehead against Cliff's. "I just don't know what I'd do without you."

"I promise you won't have to ever find out." He held her as close as physically possible. I think we all agreed that we were witnessing a very private moment. Finally Cliff took a step back, but didn't release Arcee's hands. "'Cee, I've been meaning to ask you this since the moment I returned from the dead, but I've been a bit of a coward. I'm tired of putting it off though. I want to live every day I have left with you, because I love you so very much. Will you be my sparkmate?"

I wasn't the only one who gasped in surprise. I'd been expecting an announcement that they were a couple for a while now, but I hadn't realized just how serious it truly was. This wasn't the beginning of a relationship, this was built up over the years.

Everyone waited with bated breaths for Arcee to give her answer. She seemed just as stunned as everyone else. Finally her optics began to mist over with coolant and she let out a metallic version of a sob. "Yes, of course I will, you big lug." She practically cried before she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him once more.

The room exploded in happy cheers. The only one who wasn't clapping was Miko. She looked downright confused. "What's a sparkmate? No one answered me the last time I asked." She huffed.

I giggled and nudged her shoulder with my own. "A sparkmate is essentially their version of a spouse. Cliffjumper pretty much just asked Arcee to marry him." I replied with a happy sigh. Her mouth formed a perfect o before a grin ahead across her face and she cheered. Then she asked if we were going to throw a wedding ceremony for them. "I'm not really sure what the Cybertronian customs are, but I'm sure we can throw our own party at the very least."

My guardian never looked happier than he did at that moment. He deserved this, they both did. I knew they all had put their lives on hold because of this pit-spawned war.

Sometimes a little bit of good was all that was needed during times like these.

XxRebelWriterxX

The rest of the day had passed in a blur of celebration. Even Optimus was content to hang out with his team members. A few times I had caught him staring at a wall, and I knew he was lost in his processor. There was no doubt in my mind that he was thinking about his own sparkmate. I wondered what she was like. She had to be amazing to catch our Primes optics. I really hoped I would get to meet her someday.

Ratchet and First Aid mostly stood to the side like Optimus. They watched the festivities fondly. There had been multiple times throughout the day that I caught Ratchet staring at me, his optics lit up with love. I'm sure our thoughts were the same, we were both thinking about our own possible bonding. He didn't know just how possible that was now.

Thinking about that reminded me of what had been plaguing my thoughts all week. I still needed to tell him what was happening to me. I really didn't want a repeat of the last time I kept something this important from him, but I had needed a little time to process everything. It was time to talk to him though.

Arcee and Cliff were given permission to leave the base for the night. Where they'd go was unknown, but I'm sure they appreciated the time to themselves. Shortly after they left, Bulkhead and Bee took the kids home. Optimus retired to his office while the twins went off to do their own thing. Finally it was just Ratchet, First Aid and I. The two Autobots were talking amongst themselves still, so I hesitated approaching them.

It didn't take Ratch long to notice I was there. "Is everything alright, Jess?" He asked me, his voice concerned.

"Define alright?" I chuckled nervously before clearing my throat. "Actually I was wondering if I could talk to you, alone. There's something really important I need to tell you."

"Of course. I will talk to you later, First Aid." Ratchet nodded at his apprentice. The younger bot waved goodbye, though I did catch the worried glint he had in his optics. I felt bad for excluding him, but everyone would find out soon enough. Ratchet deserved to know first.

The bot in question offered me his servo, and I carefully climbed into the palm. Then he lifted me up and we walked to the medbay in silence. I could practically hear the questioning thoughts running through his processor. I wanted to assure him that all was well, but the words stuck to my throat. Was it really though? I was still unsure about so many things.

When we arrived at our destination, Ratchet set me down on my usual berth. I felt a scan run through me. "I doubt the readings have changed since the last time you did that, Ratch." I reminded him, amused.

"Doesn't hurt to check." He shrugged before asking what he was really curious about. "Now, what's going on? Is this about what's been on your mind the past few days?"

Opening up to Ratchet was easier than I expected it to be, the words came out like a flood as soon as I opened my mouth. I couldn't have stopped them if I tried. Everything the Allspark told me, as well as all my insecurities for the future were laid bare in front of him. It felt good to finally get it off my chest. Ratchet listened with rapt attention, his face remaining blank as I spilled my guts.

When I got to the part of the spark transfer, he gaped at me in horror. "You mean we'll need to perform a major surgery on you? I've never done a spark transfer before, let alone on a human."

Yeah I hadn't thought about that part. "The Allspark said it should be simple enough. You just need to get my spark into the new chamber and she can do the rest. The worst part is going to be cutting it out of my chest. There's not gonna be time to sedate me. When my spark is fully developed, this body will die. I will probably feel every part of this process."

Ratchet took a step back. "You'll be in excruciating pain then." His statement was whispered with a combination of dread and fear.

"I know this is asking a lot of you, Ratch, but I trust you. You are the bot I trust above all to do this. It won't be easy, for either of us. But it has to be done and I want it to be you."

He was quiet for a moment as he processed the bombshells I had dropped on him. Finally he vented softly and looked up to eyes. "You know I would do anything for you, Jess. Including this." His gaze softened considerably. "This is truly happening, you are becoming a Cybertronian."

I exhaled a laugh and nodded. "Yeah, yeah I am."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"It's a lot to take in, I'm not gonna lie. Being human is all I know. That's why it took me so long to come to you about this. I just needed some time to process." I looked away from him for a moment and took a deep breath. "A part of me was honestly terrified at first." When I turned back to him, I stood up straight and grinned at him confidently. "But there was a larger, more enthusiastic part that was just so damn happy. I've never felt like I fit in anywhere, then I met you guys and I was finally home. My family is full of Cybertronians, and though there are some humans mixed in there, nothing feels more right than becoming one of you guys."

"You were already one of us. Just because you're human didn't make you any less family." Ratchet reminded me, but I could tell he was pleased by my answer.

I chuckled. "Yeah I know."

"Why did you decide to tell me first, if I might ask? I would think Cliffjumper would be your first choice."

"You'll always be my first choice." I replied fiercely. "The only reason I went to Cliff in the past is because we were on such rocky terms and he's who I'm closest to. Cliff will always be my brother and I'm sure there are things that I will tell him before anyone else. But the important, life changing things like this? You'll always be the one I'll want to go to first. Not just because I need your help, but because you're the most important person in my life. I'm sorry that I ever made you feel like you were less than that."

Ratchet practically beamed at my words and it made my heart swell. We went through so much shit to get here but now I could honestly say he was my best friend as well as the love of my life. Just like that, another piece of that cursed wall around my heart fell away. He was quickly chipping away every insecurity, worry, and fear I had. We were slowly, but finally, finding our way to one another. I was losing the fight to keep my heart protected, but I wasn't upset. I wanted to give him everything. Ratchet deserved everything.

I made a promise to myself then and there that I was done playing around. It was time I got my shit together and figured out what it was that was preventing me from being with Ratchet. I was tired of my fears controlling my life. I'm the Allspark, for Primus sake! It was time to start acting like the badass I was supposed to be.

I owed it to myself and to Ratchet.

Boom! Mic drop.

Jessica is finally starting to pull her head out of her ass and realizing just what she has going on for her. It won't be too much longer before these crazy kids are finally together and living happily ever after. And I know exactly when and how that's going to happen.

This chapter was very plot heavy. We finally got some answers that have been unknown from the very beginning. Though I will admit, most of it was not actually thought about when I began writing this.

I always knew Jessica would become Cybertronian at some point. Do I have a problem with Human/Autobot relationships? Not at all! I've read some pretty great fics where the Mc remained human. Personally, I love the trope where Mc becomes Cybertronian so that's what I went with. Same with the Allspark. I never had an idea on how that would chime about until I started writing again a few weeks ago. I mean, I kinda knew, but not really. So while I was writing, I got to thinking about why Jessica had energon in her blood. What could be the point of that particular detail? That's when I decided to have her basically "grow" a spark. After all, a spark needs energon so it would make sense that she would have to produce it.

But wait! Energon is poisonous to organic life! So how can she have this running through her body without killing her? The Allspark is smarter than me, obviously, since she decided to speed up Jessica's cellular growth cycle so that she's producing more cells than the energon was killing; thus expanding her life indefinitely, or so they originally thought.

Then, of course, the Allspark would be worried about how easy it would be to squish her host before she was ready to switch over to the new body. So she needed her to be stronger, faster, and more agile. Everything she did was to protect Jess as long as possible so that the Decepticons didn't kill her before she was ready for the next phase of her plan.

Now the fit thing also just kind of came to me. I originally got the idea because of Sam's crazy episodes during Revenge of the Fallen. I decided to expand on it in this story just to give it a little more credibility. The Allspark was confused and frustrated when she first met her new host. She'd always had some level of power over her host, but sentient beings were a lot different than what she was used to. Even when she managed to gain control of the host, it was super confusing for her. The Allspark is sentient energy, it's not used to having a physical form. So all those new senses basically sent her into sensory overload. I hope that makes sense, it does it in my head so I hope it did for you.

Anyways stay tuned my friends, things are going to start getting good.

Also there may not be an update next week. I've been struggling with chapter twenty-one, my writing muse and I have been fighting. Not only that, but I (finally) started taking antidepressants, so my body is going through all kinds of Hell as I try to adjust to my new meds. I'm hoping that once that happens, my writing motivation will return for good. So wish me luck!