It was late, far past midnight he'd garner, when Walter felt the soft weight of someone gently pressing against him. His mind, foggy with sleep, struggled to process what was happening at first. His body, however, instinctively reacted before he could fully wake, his arms wrapping protectively around the familiar form climbing onto the couch. Even in the depths of sleep he could recognize scent, the warmth, the feel of them.
It was Paige.
Crawling over him, to curl up beside him, laying her head gently on his chest.
His eyes blinked open groggily, the dim light from the street casting faint shadows across the room. Paige was snuggling into his side, curling up against him as if trying to disappear into his embrace. He felt her trembling slightly, the faint sound of her quiet sobs reaching his ears. She was crying, but trying so hard to hold it in.
"Paige?" He whispered softly, still groggy but growing more alert as he felt her shake against him. "What's wrong?"
She didn't answer immediately, instead nestling closer into his chest, her hands clutching his shirt as though he were the only thing keeping her tied to reality. Walter's mind raced at the sight of her like this, so fragile. Only not fragile like she break, but fragile like a bomb. One wrong move, and she'd explode. He tightened his hold on her instinctively, his protective instincts kicking in.
"I'm sorry." She whispered finally, her voice barely audible, trembling with the unspoken fear. "I didn't mean to wake you. I just… I couldn't…"
Walter shifted slightly, one arm holding her close while the other reached up to gently brush the hair from her face. He could feel the dampness on her cheeks, the remnants of her quiet tears.
"It's okay." He murmured, his voice gentle and soothing. "You don't have to apologize."
Paige swallowed hard, her breath shaky as she pressed her forehead against his chest.
"I was trying to sleep, but… I kept hearing noises I've never heard before…" She whispered, her voice so small. "I kept seeing shadows I've never noticed before. I know it's just my mind playing tricks on me, but I couldn't shake it. It got to be too much."
Her voice cracked as she spoke, and Walter could feel her tremble harder against him, her fear palpable. She had been so strong for so long, and now she was finally breaking under the stress of everything.
"It's called hypervigilance. Your brain is on high alert. Things it would normally filter out as nothing, just background noise, are being pushed through your synapses as a possible threat. Perfectly reasonable for you to be experiencing given all that has happened, being back here." Toby had told him how Paige carried shame and guilt for having what were completely normal reactions To the trauma she had endured, how naming them could be potentially helpful to dispel those feelings of shame. And he couldn't deny that spouting off facts was a lot more natural to him than talks of feelings and vague assurances that everything would be fine when none of them could believe that
"I was too scared to admit it." Paige continued, her voice tight with shame. "I didn't want to wake you. I didn't want to seem… weak. But then I just… I couldn't stay in there anymore. I felt like I was suffocating."
Walter's arms tightened around her, his hand gently rubbing soothing circles on her back, placing a soft kiss to her head. He didn't need to say anything for her to know that he understood. He wasn't going to push her or ask for explanations she wasn't ready to give. He just held her, his presence steady and warm, as if silently telling her that she was safe.
After a long moment, Paige lifted her head slightly, her tear-streaked face barely visible in the dim light. Her eyes, red and puffy, searched his for reassurance.
"Is… this… okay?" She asked nervously, her voice almost a whisper. "Laying here… with you. I know it's… I just… I don't want to cross any lines. But I--" She broke off, her voice shaky as she tried to hold back another sob, frustrated by her own vulnerability. "I'm so scared, Walter. All the time. I try not to be. But I am. The only time I feel even remotely safe is… is with you. In your arms."
Walter's heart swelled, a mix of tenderness and sorrow filling him as he listened to her. She wasn't asking for anything more than comfort, more than the security of knowing she wasn't alone in this. And he wanted nothing more than to give her that.
"Of course it's okay, Paige." Walter whispered, as he gently stroked her hair. "You don't have to apologize for that, or anything you need right now. I want you to feel safe. And if this helps, then… stay. You can stay here forever if you'd like."
Paige let out a shaky breath, her body relaxing slightly against him, though the fear still clung to her like a shadow. She wished desperately she could tear it away, be split from it like Peter Pan.
"Thank you." Her tears wet the fabric of his shirt, as she buried her face into his chest. "I'm sorry for being like this. I just… I can't stop thinking about him… about everything. And I hate that I'm still so scared."
Walter tightened his embrace, pressing another gentle kiss to the top of her head.
"I told you, you don't need to be sorry. Not for feeling scared. You've been through so much, Paige, and it's okay to be scared. I know this is one of those pot calling the kettle black moments, but you don't have to pretend you're okay when you're not. You taught me that. You're not going to scare me away. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. You're safe here. With me."
Paige let out another shaky breath, her body finally beginning to relax into his, as though the weight of her fear was slowly starting to lift. She clung to him, her fingers still gripping the fabric of his shirt, and for the first time since her attack, she felt like she could breathe again.
The silence between them stretched on, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was warm, filled with the steady beat of Walter's heart beneath her ear, the soft rise and fall of his chest. His arms around her, strong and protective, made her feel like nothing could reach her here. Not even her nightmares.
Walter, still holding her close, felt his own eyes prick with tears. He hated that she had to go through this, that she had to feel this kind of fear. And though he couldn't take that pain away, he could be here for her. He could hold her, protect her, and make sure she knew she wasn't alone.
"I've got you." he whispered again, his voice barely audible in the quiet apartment. "I'll always have you."
Paige didn't respond with words this time. She didn't need to. She just snuggled closer to him, her breathing finally starting to even out as the warmth of his presence wrapped around her like a protective shield.
Walter stayed awake for a long time after that, watching her as she slowly drifted off, her grip on his shirt loosening as sleep finally claimed her. He gently adjusted the blanket around them, his arms never leaving her, not for a second. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest, her soft breaths against his skin, and he swore to himself once again that he wouldn't let anything happen to her.
As he lay there, listening to the quiet hum of the city outside, his thoughts wandered back to the guilt that had been haunting him all night. He hadn't stopped Tim when he should have. He hadn't been able to protect Paige from the horrors that had already unfolded. But here, now, as she lay in his arms, trusting him to keep her safe… He might not have been able to stop Tim before, but he would do everything in his power to protect Paige from now on. No matter what. He wouldn't risk this feeling of her in his arms. It was too right.
And as Paige slept, finally finding some peace in the safety of his arms, Walter held her close, vowing that he wouldn't let her face any of this alone ever again.
