Chapter 4 - That's when.

"And you said "When can I come back?"

And I said, that's when, when I wake up in the mornin'

That's when, when it's sunny or stormin'

Laughin' when I'm cryin'

And that's when I'll be waitin' at the front gate

That's when, when I see your face

I'll let you in, and baby that's when"

The rest of the night passed blankly through her eyes. The conversation with Pete. The way back home and up the stairs of her apartment. The colorful card burning inside her pocket, as if a trace of poison he left behind. She crashed on her sofa, before reaching for the piece of paper and staring at it, surprised it didn't actually burn her fingers.

Later on, out of her stupor, she called Blake and Emma over. They brought pizza and they sat on their usual spot in her living room to talk and eat.

- So, should I go? - Sam asked from her place of the ground, leaning her head back on the sofa sit while still holding a piece of pizza in her lap.

- Well, I think it would be good to close this chapter in your life.

- But, I have... - Sam shut it, when she saw Em's expression.

- If you had, you'll be dating now.

- That's not fair. I've dated. It's just... I'm not ready yet.

- So you are not over it.

- Damn!

Sam took a deep breath and poked Blake who was laying on the sofa behind her staring at the card.

- You're too quiet, B. What do you think?

- I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that that guy was the best sex you ever had.

- Blake! - she took the paper from his hand.

- I agree with M. You should go and put an end to it. We all know you're not over him yet, S. So if you want to keep living on or you know, if you can't get over him, get all over him.

Sam rolled her eyes ignoring the last part.

- I don't know. I think I just prefer to pretend tonight didn't happened and keep living.

- Maybe. But can you do that?

Sam thought about the question all night. Could she?

She didn't even had clothes to go to children's birthday party. Since coming to college Samantha who never cared at all for fashion, wore only jeans, leggings and t-shirts. Even in parties. She rarely used make up and most days didn't even brush the hair she washed once a week. She was always busy and considered caring too much about appearance a waste of time in academic life.

While she went through the depths of her closet, she thought about stopping in the way to Connecticut to buy some clothes. She thought about not going at all and how stupid caring so much about looking good, since her reason for going was totally casual. It would also be stupid not going because of clothing.

She called Blake freaking out, but pretending it was all under control.

- Just wear the flower dress. It looks great in you, but it's still casual.

- What? That dress is ancient. I haven't wore it since freshman year. It probably doesn't even fit anymore.

He insisted she try it on. Sam had been much more fit when she worked at the bureau than she is now. Since she spent her days reading, studying and attending classes - and sometimes nervous eating - she had gain some weight. Not only that, but her curves were more accentuated and soft. Working out was not her focus anymore although she sometimes tried to keep the habit to running in the morning, it would only last as long as holidays and breaks would.

She put on the dress and immediately regretted. It hug her curves much tighter than she remembered. It had spaghetti straps and stopped at the middle of her thighs, the tight fit, accentuating her backside and breasts.

- I can't wear that to a children's birthday party.

- Oh, come on! It's not bad at all. Your just not used to a tight fit. You just wear clothes double your size.

She gave him an angry look and turn around watching her back in the mirror.

- I'm not comfortable.

- Come on, S. You don't want to meet our ex, and probably his hot girlfriend in your shabby jeans, do you? - Sam sighed and rolled her eyes. - I'm serious. The rule is: always meet your ex looking hotter than the new girl.

- That's absolutely not the point.

- The point is to show the awesome, sexy woman you are.

- Oohw, thanks B. But I would rather look smart.

- Oh, trust me. You don't want to look smart for this meeting.

She sighed.

- Shouldn't I at least feel comfortable to amp my confidence.

- Sammy trust me. If the way your butt looks in this dress doesn't up your confidence nothing will.

- But, I gained a lot of weight.

- Yeah, and it fills the dress much better. Nobody wants to be Kendall anymore darling, today is all about Kylie.

- Right. Even so, it's too short.

- You and your nonsensical measurements. It's not short at all. It's at perfect length. By the way, wear it to work next time.

She ignored him, saying thanks and motion him to leave.

- Don't wear it to your lecturers though, your line of research is boring enough. - she threw a pillow on him. - or better yet, do wear it to motivate your students to come back to your class.

Sam couldn't help but laugh from Blake joke. He had this talent of always making her laugh, no matter how nervous, worried or tired she was.

Sam then took one last look at her full body mirror and decided she had more than two hours drive to decide if she would show up in the dress, or fuck it, buy something new. She threw on her favorite jeans jacket which gave her a little more confidence with the dress. Took her car keys and her purse and went out, getting a thumbs up as farewell from Blake as he stood by his apartment door.

The drive to Connecticut was full of doubt, questions and anxiety, not only cause it has been years since she drove her car. In the end, she decided she would feel even more stupid going to a store to choose another outfit. And she was afraid that if she got out of the car, she would lose her nerve and get the road back to Boston.

When the GPS signaled to make a left in a county road, her heart started beating fast as the time for the arrival marked 5 minutes. As expected, the road was very empty and private. It went on and on among the trees, making her start to think she had lost her way. But then, she saw a couple of cars parked next to a gate and the number on it marked the same as in the invitation.

Sam parked her car and took a deep breath after stopping. She smoothed her hair and put some lipstick on using the car mirror. Damn, she doesn't remember feeling so much different feelings at the same time in her whole life. Besides her heart feeling like a drum and her stomach turning. She felt like she was gonna pass out, so she opened her door and stepped out of the car.

Before she could think about it, she went through the gate and started to go down a grassy pathway. She walked for a while until she started listening to children's laughter. She smiled softly and arrived at another gate. This time bigger and with a big fence around it, so,you couldn't see it through. She was reflecting on ringing the bell when the soft wind pushed the white wooden gate ajar. Looking carefully inside, she went in observing her surroundings. She decided that the latest she made her presence unknown, more chance she had to run away in case she lost her nerves.

When she went through the second gate she found a house. It was classical, but beautiful, and very well kept. The backyard where the sounds of the children came from was divided with a two meter size white fence with a door. However, this door was locked. So she figured the only way in was through the house back door.

As she was wondering if she should knock or just leave, the door opened and she found herself face to face with a very beautiful and smiling girl.

A/N:Have you noticed that Sam only wear dresses for Abe? I thought this would be a cute detail to add to the plot. Hope you're enjoying the story so far.