Chapter 6 - This Love
"This love is good
This love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead.
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me."
She went through the gate and jumped inside her car. While breathing hard, she searched for her keys inside the purse and pushed into the ignition, scared that he would come and stop her. She had to get out of there fast.
Turning the key, nothing happened besides an gurgling noise. Ok, she thought, I'm just trembling. She tried again, and again, but the car didn't start. Feeling that she was freaking out, she tried to relax and took a big breath before trying again. Nothing.
Besides being old, her car has never given her any problem.
- I can't believe this piece of metal will do this to me, right now. - she said punching the steering wheel.
She tried the ignition for a couple more minutes without result. Stepping out of the car, she was still shaking when she opened the hood. But soon she realized she didn't know anything about mechanics. Taking a deep breath and touching her forehead, she took out her cell phone and called Blake. He only picked up after 5 rings.
- Hi, I'm busy now. - he said.
- Hey B, I need help. - she said pleadingly.
- Not now S. - and hang up. Damn it!
She tried calling him again, but he didn't even pick up. When Sam was trying him a third time her cell phone made a beeping noise. She looked at the screen and saw that her battery was running real low.
Cursing loudly, she decided to try Emma. Which also didn't pick up. When calling Emma for the second time, the phone beeped again and went black.
- Damn it! I can't believe this is happening. F*ck!
I should have called straight to the tow service. Damn it. To make everything better, thunder sounded and lightning illuminated the sky. Sam evaluated for a second staying in her car until l morning. But that would be pathetic of her and she couldn't do anything with a dead cell phone anyway.
Convincing herself that she was a grown up woman, she went back to the house while heavy raindrops started falling. Looking through the door she'd left open, she saw both Abe and Nuala picking up and organizing the mess on the kitchen floor.
Sam took a big breath while feeling the raindrops running down her face and calming her. She knocked twice on the doorjamb making both of them raise their heads to her at once.
- Hi. Sorry, uhm. My car does not want to start and my phone is dead. Can I use your phone?
- Of course. - Abe said raising up and pointing to a phone on the kitchen wall.
- Thanks.
Ignoring her shame, she walked quickly to the phone and roam inside her bag for the tow service number. She dialed the number and as soon as the guy picked up, she explained her situation, but her unlucky strike hadn't ended yet.
- What do you mean tomorrow morning? - she asked the tow service employee outraged.
- Sorry Miss, but with the heavy rain all the tow trucks are busy tonight and I currently have 8 people on hold for the service. I'm afraid I can only send you a tow in the morning.
- But...but... that won't do. I'm in the middle of nowhere Connecticut. I live in Boston. I have to return tonight!
- I'm so sorry for the situation Miss, but there's nothing I can do. I'll send you the tow car as soon as I can but I can't promise it will be before 8 A.M. Please, find a safe place and stay there.
Sam thanked him and hung up. Cursing inside her head. She decided to try Blake again. She waited taking deep breaths at each ring.
- Hey, don't hung up. - she plead when he finally picked up.
- Fuck S, I told you I can't right now. I'm on a date.
- But I really need help. I'm in trouble. I'm still on Connecticut and my car won't start, my phone is dead and tow service is busy until morning. I need you to come pick me up.
- What? Sorry, it's a can't do, girl.
- What? Come on, Blake. I don't know what to do.
- Oh, you're a big girl. And it's not the end of the world. Handle it.
tuh- tuh - tuh
Sam dropped her mouth. Son-of-a... She hung up the phone with more strength than necessary.
- Hey, you can sleep here. - she heard Nuala's excited voice suggesting and grinned.
- Oh, no. That's ok. I'll just call another friend. - Sam answered embarrassed.
Sam then tried Emma again. Three times with no avail.
- Damn! She always picks up. - she said out loud.
- Ow, come on. It's no problem. You just sleep here and wait for the tow tomorrow morning.
- No. I don't want to bother you guys. - a big red alert was ringing in her head.
Abe was mute.
- Ow sush, it's no bother at all, right Abraham? - he just nodded once. - You can use the guest room. I won't be able to stay over tonight anyway, since I have several issues to deal with in Baltimora. You can keep Abe company!
- Aahn... I don't... - think is a good idea, she continued inside her head.
- It's a wonderful idea. - she cut Sam out - Perfect, really. I'll just grab my things and you make yourself at home.
Sam had no words. She wanted to run out of that door as fast as she could again. But before she could muster a plan of action. The princess returned with a bag of her belongings.
- Don't worry, Samantha. You're welcome here. It is so nice to meet you. I'm sorry I can't stay. We'll see each other soon, right?
Then the princess, gave Abraham a warm farewell, and literally disappeared out of the door.
Sam looked at Abe who seemed stuck by the table. And as clueless as her.
- I... I don't want to bother you. I will just call a cab and come back tomorrow. - she said
- Tsk! Nonsense. She is right, just stay over. It's no problem. - He said monotone.
It's a big problem! Samantha thought. We will need to talk and *sigh*
- I suggest you lock your thoughts better, Samantha. You're not the only telepath on the room anymore.
Sam blushed and looked at her wet boots.
- Come on in. - he signaled her to follow him into a part of the house she hadn't seen yet. There was a small corridor with a bathroom to the left, big doors to the front and a smaller door to the right.
Abe opened the smallest door to reveal a cozy guest room, perfect sized. The decor was again soft and flowery in tons of yellow and blue.
- It's... very nice.
- There's a bathroom to your right, you can make yourself at home. It gets kinda cold here when it rains, there's blankets in the closet.
- I... Can I take a shower? - she was freezing.
- Sure. There's towels and toiletries in the cabinet. Do you need some clothes?
Sam looked down at her wet dress and jacket.
- Yeah, I think so.
- Right.
He left the room while she took off her boots and jacket laying it to dry in a chair and put her purse on the table.
- Here you are.
He handed her some black shorts and white t-shirt similar to what she used to wear when they were together, making a huge wave of nostalgia and melancholy to wash over her. Besides, a big blush. Abe seemed unaware though.
- Thanks. - she said and he just walked away.
When Abe left, Sam closed the door and took a hot shower. Everything on his house was comfotable and sweet fragant. Making her think it must be nice to live in here. What also made her sad. Cause she didn't want to look inside their perfect couple life and realize it was actually perfect.
Besides her petty feelings, she didn't know how to act in front of him. She didn't know how to talk to him. He was acting so distant from the guy she met years ago. There was this uncomfortable feeling of stomach butterflies that she couldn't shake it off.
I'm here. I can't run anymore.
Sam left the room and found him on the kitchen, finishing the cleaning.
- Hey. Do you have a charger? - she showed him her cellphone.
- Sure. - he turned to open a nearby drawer and handed her the charger.
- Thanks.
- Are you hungry? - he asked politely.
- Ow... - but before she could say no, her stubborn stomach growled. - Well, I was going to say no, but...
She raised her shoulders and sat on the counter between the living room and the kitchen. Abe didn't laugh, but his expression became softer than before.
He started to take out several left-overs from the party and putting down in front of her, sitting down, opposite from her soon after.
They ate in silence for a while. Sam couldn't take the heavy mood anymore. Maybe he did deserve an explanation, even in their current situation he had never been anything but kind to her.
- I'm sorry. - she said without taking her eyes of the mac and cheese. - about everything. About making you go through all of that. - she pointed to the boxes on the floor. - It was never my intention. I never thought you would look for me so...
She lost her voice.
- It's ok. You don't need to apologize. I overreacted. - he said. - It's just... I... in the middle of all that, I promised myself I'd say everything I wanted if I'd ever see you again.
She held her breath, but he didn't say anything else. That's when she realized that, in a long time, taking out all the layers of complicated, she was finally face-to-face with her best friend.
- I know it's not the answer you expected to hear. But I really don't know. I was confused, lonely, hurt. I didn't know what was real anymore. I didn't know who I was... I... I didn't feel myself. And... and I couldn't say goodbye.
- Why did you have to though? To go.
- I just needed to.
He nodded and they kept eating in silence.
- Your house is very beautiful. - she said after a while, trying to lighten the mood.
- You said that to me before. - he answered coldly.
- Sorry. Nuala told me she helped you to decor. And it looks pretty nice.
- Yes, she chose most of the details and the wallpaper. I don't mind. - he said.
- I hope she didn't leave because of me. She seems very nice.
"Your girl is lovely, Hubbell." The scene of a movie Blake made her watch came to her mind.
Abe looked up at her.
- She is.
Sam tried to smile at him, but it didn't come out as naturally as she hoped.
- I don't know what else to say. This is so weird. It's like I don't even know you. - she said honestly.
- Yes. I don't think you know me at all. - he said angrily.
- What? - she asked confused.
- You asked me why. You said you didn't think I would look for you. How could you think I wouldn't care? About you going missing?
Sam frowned and looked down.
- Well. I didn't think you would. And I... honestly didn't care. I had to leave. Whatever happened in that cave, it changed me. I felt like I was dead and I was mourning that part of me. What I was...
There it is Sam. Satisfied? You opened all your wounds in front of him again. Why do you do this to yourself?
- Well, I actually did mourn you. And you did died. You died in my arms. And then you've died again. I can't... - he sighed and put both hands on the counter. - I just wish I'd known. You used to tell me everything. Why didn't you just tell me all of this?
- I... I don't know.
Abe slammed his fist against the counter.
- BUT YOU DO KNOW! I know it. You either tell me or I'll read it out of you.
Sam was hurting, but whatever powerful entity living inside her was getting angry. She closed her fists and tried to hold it inside. She never lost control of it, she wouldn't now.
But the problem is that power was part of her, it ran through her veins and even though she tried to make it as two separated beings, when it came to the surface, it was all just one. Just her.
- Because I didn't think you'd care! There! Is that what you've wanted to hear Abraham?
- How could you say that? Of course, I cared.
She sighed. Damn.
- No. You didn't. I felt so lost those... those days. My powers were gone. - she trembled and her eyes filled with tears - I felt such grief, such pain, my heart was so broken it seemed it was physically hurting my chest. And you never came. Not once. To see me. To ask me...
- What? - he came around the counter and stopped in front of her. - I did. They told me you didn't want to see me. I spent the whole week sitting by your hospital door.
She laughed low.
- Right.
- What does that supposed to mean?
- Nothing. It doesn't matter anymore. It is all in the past. I have my life, you have yours and I'm good, we're good.. Why keep digging it up?
- Because it matters to me!
- WHY?
He took both of her forearms and pull her against him, making her look in his eyes.
- Because I love you! - he exclaimed. - And I have always loved you.
Sam looked at him in horror and push him away from her with all her mighty.
- Don't you dare tell me that. - her eyes were black, her voice more grave. - Don't you fucking dare saying that while you never came, while we're standing in your fucking fairytale couple kitchen. I was dying in hospital bed and you...
- Sam? - Abe looked at her confused.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, when she opened them again they were back to their normal state.
- I... I'm sorry. This was way out of hand. I... had a really long day. I should go to bed. My head hurts.
But Abe intercepted her before she entered the corridor, pulling her close.
- Look at me. - he said. - Listen carefully. Nuala did helped me with the house. She does come and often spend several days with me. She was there for me when you were gone. And she helped me go through all those years. She listens to me and helps me in my researches. I listen to her, and help her deal with her kingdom problems. We watch movies, read and have tea together. But that's it. She's been there for me and she is a really good friend, but nothing more. I've realized soon after she came back that I didn't feel the same about her.
- Then... - she started, but closed her mouth.
- What? - he asked softly.
- Why were you kissing her? - Sam closed her eyes in shame, noticing how pathetic and childish her question sounded. She had no right to ask him that. They never established a relationship.
Abe frowned for a moment and the only kiss he ever exchanged with the princess came to his mind. He sighed and held her tight.
- Of all the moments you could have seen. - he whispered more to himself. - I kissed her once because I had to know. I had to know what I felt for her. And from that moment on, I've realized it wasn't even close of how I feel for you.
She looked at him with misty eyes, but her expression was of doubt.
- Do you really think I'd spend all this time looking for you if I didn't care?
- This changes nothing.
- I don't care if you have a boyfriend or if you don't feel the same. But I made a promise that I'd tell you everything I felt if I ever could.
She trembled in his arms. A thunder exploded outside, illuminating the sky. He held her even closer. He bent down to kiss her, but overwhelmed, she turned away.
- Abraham... this... is... is too much for me. I need some time. I don't know what to think about all this.
She put her hands in his chest to get some space between them.
- It's ok. Just let me hold you for a moment, please.
She trembled again, trying to push him away, but he took her hands and lead her out of the kitchen to the living room. He sat her on the couch and held her close. Feeling she was shaking, he took a quilt and enveloped her in his warmth. She laid against his chest and sholder. They stayed silent for a long time, listening to the rain.
- You really went to Greece? - she said in a soft voice after a while.
- Yes.
- How was it? - she looked up at him, her eyes sparkling.
He kissed her temple before answering.
- It was beautiful.
Sam closed her eyes for a moment enjoying the calm atmosphere. Feeling safe and cozy, she felt asleep.
"This love left a permanent mark
This love is glowing in the dark,
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me"