"Oh, goddamn
My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand
Taking mine, but it's been promised to another
Oh, I can't
Stop you putting roots in my dreamland
My house of stone, your ivy grows
And now I'm covered in you"
Time flies when you're busy and spring break arrived in a couple of weeks and so did her queasiness. Each day she would be more and more nervous about spending time alone with him.
She was waiting for the drinks to take to table 9, when she felt her phone vibrate. She took it out of her apron pocket and smiled shyly at the message she received.
"Missing you more than usual. Can I hear your voice?"
"Hi. Sorry, I'm at the restaurant right now."
"Working or dating?"
Sam bit her lower lip, smiling.
"Working, of course."
"A girl as pretty as you should be on dates at Friday night. Not working."
"Are you asking me out?"
"If I could ask you anywhere, I would ask you where I want you to be. In my bed."
- Wow, he's good. - Blake said from behind her.
Sam turned so fast she almost knocked the drinks waiting in the counter.
- You gave me a heart attack. - Putting her cellphone back in her pocket, she picked up the drinks and walked away.
- Now, I see why you're so smitten with this guy.
- Stop. I'm busy.
- I looks like you want to get busy with him.
Sam just rolled her eyes, and started serving the drinks.
- I've never seen you blush like this for a guy, S. Or smile for that matter.
She stayed silent.
- As your boss, I'll turn a blind eye at your sexting during work hours since as your friend I know you desperately need to get laid.
- I wasn't... - she shook her head. - Whatever... I need a break.
- It isn't that busy tonight. Go enjoy your man.
Sam walked to the service entrance. The night was cold, but she was feeling hot. She picked up her phone again. There was another message she opened with her heart jumping.
"Too much?" - he had asked.
"No. I was busy. Blake came pestering about me using the phone."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't want to disturb you."
"It's fine. It isn't that busy here tonight."
"Talk later?"
"I text you when I get home."
"How was your day, dearest?"
Sam was laying in bed, her feet burning after hours working at the restaurant. These nicknames he calls her by. - damn!
"Tiring. Just got home from work. Feet are killing me. Blake is getting on my nerves lately."
They have been talking. Almost every day. Each day, she missed him more. Each conversation left her legs weak and her heart pounding.
"You know. I can't wait to see you."
It was the last weekend before the break, so Sam, Blake and Emma decided to go downtown to pickup some itens for their trip.
- For the hundred time guys, I don't need a bikini. And certainly not these ones. - Sam said.
- Oh come on! Its spring break! It's getting hot and doesn't he live close to the beach? - Emma asked.
- I believe there's a small pond...
- That's it. We are taking these. - Blake stated.
- No!!! I could never wear it.
- You'll be so hot in it, S. Your swimming wear can rival the ones of 90-old ladies.
- 90-old ladies in the 50's! - Blake added.
- You guys are horrible. And I have zero confidence to wear something like that.
- Just get a Brazilian wax and you're done. - Emma said, adding the bikini to her shopping bag.
- That's not... oh god. - Sam covered her face, that was red as a beet.
-My, my Sammy. I've never seen you so vexed about anything before. - Blake said. - And that included that pool party with the freshmen guys last year.
- First, I was drunk. Second, I don't care about the opinion of a seventeen-year-old.
- You are so cute in love.
- I'm not... Oh Blake, just shut up.
- Yes. Shut it before she lose it and cancel the trip, Blake. That girl is more difficult to move out of the campus than The John Harvard Statue. - Emma stated.
- Ok. Let's get you some great outfits then. - he said.
- Well, provided it's not stupid lingerie. - Sam rolled her eyes.
- You go, girl. Just go without then.
Sam spent the next few days with butterflies in her stomach. Like all the students in Harvard, but for totally different reasons. She had delivered all the papers, gotten good grades and graduated with honors. But nothing of that mattered and she hated it. She was already changing her great career for a man.
- Don't be stupid! - Blake said when she told him. - You've spent four years like a nun, only studying and writing. You deserve some time for personal experiences. Even professor Brown thinks so.
-But...
- Sam, that fact that you never surrendered to test these frat boys stamina in four years, gives you a free pass for whatever you're feeling right now. Your career is fine. Amazing actually. So shoo, go enjoy life a little.
- I will miss you, girl. - Blake said hugging her. - Call me if your need anything. And try to enjoy yourself. And your man. Don't come back a virgin.
She just laughed.
Sam drove to Connecticut thinking about everything her friends told her. Even so, she still didn't feel ready to go back as if the last 4 years, and mainly those last weeks haven't happened.
She stopped her car inside the gate and was greeted by Abe wearing only shorts. Damn. It's ok, after all the day is hot and he was at his house.
- I'm so glad you came. - were his first words to her.
- I said I would. - she said picking her luggage out of the trunk.
- Yeah, but you seemed like you would give up at any time. Allow me.
He took her bags and carried them inside. She followed him, looking around. There were fresh flowers in a vase.
- Is Nuala here? - forehead slap. Why would you ask this? It's none of your business.
- She came over a couple of days ago. - he answered calmly.
He led her to the same room she had stayed last time.
- She comes here a lot? - Sam stated. Stop it! You sound petty and jealous.
- She does. - his voice sounded as if they were taking about the weather. - Well, I figured you would prefer to stay here.
Sam nodded. In one of their conversations she mentioned to him that she needed to take whatever their new situation was slow.
- I want to show you around. - he took her hand and leaded her out. Taking her to every part of his house.
Lastly, he took her to a big room where there was a big fish tank that allowed a view to the outside and inside at the same time. All the other walls were filled with books in shelves and a working table. In the back wall, there was also a huge bed in the middle.
- Is this your room?
- Yes. Sort of. Feel welcome to come here anytime... and take any book.
She bit her lips and turned her back to him, pretending she was looking at the book titles, but actually thinking that she wouldn't come here for the books.
He then took her outside. To the pond.
- We can swim, if you want.
- Swim? - she asked nervously.
- Yes, isn't that what people do on spring break?
- Well, I wouldn't know. I've always spent spring breaks at the campus.
- What about your friends?
- They usually go to trips and parties. But I've found out in my freshman year that those things are not for me.
- Why so?
- They are too young, too dumb, too careless. Not my thing.
- You are young too.
- Yes. But I'm well passed the phase of sleeping on the floor or sharing a bedroom with 15 people.
He laughed. They sat in the garden chairs near the pound.
- How's life in Harvard? - he asked.
She answered looking at the pond while he never took his eyes of off her.
- It depends. If you're a nerd as me, it is a lot of work. If you're one of the cool fraternity kids it's pretty easy going.
- How so?
- Well parties, getting drunk, getting laid... you know.
- And you're not like that?
She just laughed out loud and laid back.
- Of course not. I'm in college to study. Not date around.
- What about your boyfriend? How did you meet him?
Sam sighed. She should have seen this coming.
- He is not my boyfriend. We've been on a few dates, mostly cause Blake and Emma insisted I need to go out and have a life. Whatever. But, the truth is that I've never really been into him. Or anyone for that matter.
- The younger guys are pretty but they don't have a brain on them, - she continued - while the old enough to have a brain also have a huge ego. It's tiring. So I focus on my studies. - she continued.
- I don't think relationships need to be about brains. - Abe says.
- No, but they are for me. You should see the kinds of pick up lines these guys use. - she chucked. - they are horrible. I... just can't.
- As an Austen fan, you probably into more sophisticated declarations. - he teased.
- Aah, you will never let it rest. - she rolled her eyes.
He laughed.
- What about Blake? He seems nice.
- Have you asked me here to talk about my romantic life?
- No. Just curious.
- Blake is my best friend. And very much gay.
-Ah. Sure you don't want to swim?
It was hot and sweat was running down her neck. But she was always nervous about deep water.
-Ah. I don't have swimwear.
- You can just come as you are. - he says, getting up. - or you can take off your clothes. I don't mind.
Sam blushed deep, before following him.
She took off her boots and stepped into the shallow part of the lake.
- I think, I'll just stay here.
- Come on, dear. I'll help you.
- I don't like deep water.
- It's not too deep.
- For you no water is deep.
He laughed and jumped in. Embarrassed to refuse, she took a step towards him.
- Are you going to swim in jeans? - he asked.
Breathing hard, and without breaking eye contact, she unbuttoned her pants and took them off. Throwing it at the shore.
Abe took a deep breath because he could swear his gills were failing in getting enough oxygen in his system. He was suddenly light headed watching her come toward him in panties and a tshirt. Her body sinking to the water like a mermaid returning to the sea. He never expected she would actually take off her jeans. He was just teasing her. And by the look on her face she wasn't teasing.
She hissed when the water came to her hips.
- It is cold. - she said.
He noticed the goose bumps in her thighs.
- You'll get used to it.
And stretched his hand to her. She took it, helping her to go down into the water. Sam stepped carefully into the pound, but even so, her feet slipped a bit. Abe grabbed her hand strongly and put his arm around her waist so she would not submerge.
- Careful. It's a bit slippery.
She held into his shoulder what left them very close. To her disappointment, he let go of her as soon as she got steady. Besides her embarrassment, Sam had to agree the cold water felt like heaven in this heat. She submerged to wet her hair and almost moan at how nice it felt. Abe just observed her from three feet away. Giving her space to enjoy the water, but still being close enough to help her if she needed.
- This is weird. Isn't it? - she said.
- What is?
- I feel like I don't know how to act around you anymore.
- Well. Just be yourself.
- Easier said than done.
They swam for a while, but soon the afternoon sun was getting down and a chilly wind started blowing. They decided to get out. Abe asked her to wait a bit that he would get a towel. She thanked him and nodded when she felt the wind in her wet skin.
She watched as he left the water like an ocean god. His sculpted body wet and dripping. Similar to some parts of her now. She turned her back, taking a deep breath. Maybe Blake was right. She needed to get laid.
In four years, no other had made her feel like he did in just a few hours. Like her body was burning. But it was too soon. She wanted to take things easy, slow, and adding sex to this mixture would complicate things. She still wasn't sure how he would fit in her life and she in his.
She left the water with goose pumps all over her body as the wind blew cold in her heated body.
"So yeah, it's a fire
It's a goddamn blaze in the dark
And you started it
You started it
So yeah, it's a war
It's the goddamn fight of my life
And you started it
You started it"