Disclaimer: The characters are owned by Watsuki. And we all know that, so from now on I will no longer put the disclaimer unless it is strictly necessary. And with that in mind, this chap is inspired by Kalandra's Borders song.
"Memory"
The sea had always sung on those spring days. Even with the sun shining brightly overhead, the skin crawled with the chill of the air. The waves came and went, and with their movement, travelers arrived at port. Fleeing from a reality full of tragedies, in Izumo, there were many places with open doors, that received people who descended with help and continued moving in a hurry, following the instructions of those who helped them by order of the daimyo.
The priestess turned into a ghost and wandered almost without moving among the flow of those memories. She was a rock in a river of people running without stopping, while she observed the connections made between each contact.
The days passed, and under the light of that sun, more and more arrived at port. In the last boat, a button of a girl descended, the gems in her eyes captivated with their brilliance whoever was fortunate enough to cross her path. Two sapphires, cutouts of a starry night sky. It was only one, however, who captured her heart.
A meeting, a look, and a smile. An offered hand and the trembling of the one who receives it.
Days full of laughter and shared moments.
Time passes and those hands join together and never let go. Steps in the middle of flowering fields, and the breeze that lifts and stirs the aromas.
A kiss in the middle of a flower garden.
The sky becomes cloudy, and the sun sets. The gray clouds cry for days when the prophecy of the future child is fulfilled. Although they continue holding hands, their expressions are uncertain and perhaps even sad... Standing in front of the boy's parents, they debate the blessing of their union. One defends loudly, while his companion remains silent, her gaze avoids the emotion in the eyes of those who look at her, and her hand inevitably falls on her belly.
The sea continues with its coming and going. The waves come and go, while the cold air continues to dominate despite the sun. In the middle of a hill, the lovers argue; one tries to get a reaction, and the other cries silently.
And as the waves get bigger and the wind blows stronger, the sky prepares for the storm.
People are running now with torches of anger in their hands. The sky turns red, the moon seems to be made of blood. The daimyo resists above all; tradition maintains them, and honor sustains them...
And it is for the honor that the girl who is born is taken from her mother's arms. It is someone else who hugs her so that the little girl can have a place in that castle, her origin must be hidden.
A binding pact. A promised future in place to keep honor intact.
The sea dresses in mourning.
It was sadness that ended that life. The love was insufficient, and the birth was complicated. The weak body drowns in tears. Promises that have remained on the sand, promises that the sea has erased when it came. Just two months later a life is extinguished, and one more candle goes out suddenly.
The father cries sitting on the engawa.
For a moment his gaze is fixed straight ahead, and the priestess feels that it is her he is looking at. But the man looks away again, the baby cries, and something in him breaks.
"Forgive me. You lost her too." He sobs, and then takes the creature in his arms, clinging to it, and begins to rock it.
The miko's heart jumps.
That song is the same her mother sang for her.
"My sweet Kaoru," the father murmurs. "I have failed you. I was naive to believe this arrangement would work... and now I am forced to follow it... I cannot let your mother's sacrifice be in vain. No one will question you. I promise you a life without shame " He swears, his voice trembling and his heart breaking.
The waves of the sea crash against the rock of the cliff and break into foam and drops of water. The sun rises again, imposing, latent. The air is still cold, but the baby sighs calmly as if she had also made that promise.
In the years that follow, tears disappear moved by smiles and joy.
The garden has bloomed again; and the raging sea breaks into foam and salty aromas; the wind is still cold and carries in its swirls the breeze of a memory.
...
When Kaoru returns to the white square, only the aroma of salt remains with her, the cold still dominates her but it quickly fades away.
"That was an honorable promise without a doubt." Says a man behind her.
A voice that she recognizes instantly, and she turns around looking at him with emotion.
"Father!" She exclaims.
The standing man, whose eyes are dark like his brother Koishijiro, looks tired and battered; as if he had been lost for days without water or food. But his smile is warm and honest.
"Even more so when it was full of love for you." He concludes.
At his smile, the miko bursts into emotions and runs to hug him without shame. He receives her, hugging her lovingly. His eyes fill with tears the next moment and his voice breaks. "Kaoru. My Kaoru... I'm afraid you should no longer call me by that title."
It is a moment that both take because they need it, a time to cry for the secrets revealed and the imminence of the final farewell.
"You could have told me. I wouldn't have been angry," she says suddenly, still not letting go.
"We could, without a doubt." He nods.
The lack of his refusal forces her to consider the context in which she grew up. The importance of maintaining their unquestionable lineage under the country's internal struggle. So it was too early to determine which side to choose. And, if Koishijirou had not accepted any other wife, it was clear what he would have had to do to ensure Kaoru's presence in his life without putting the clan at risk at the start of Japan's internal conflict.
"...You just wanted to make me happy, didn't you?" She asks.
Her grandfather smiles sadly, still not undoing the hug.
"We were pretentious and selfish. We aim too high and end up falling. The truth always comes out, Kaoru, it's something you should always remember." He warned.
The miko felt the weight of that warning; she understood what it meant to acknowledge the silence of her own truths, especially towards Kenshin. But she had made a decision, she told herself, although she had not yet taken the first step, and her heart still shook with insecurity.
"What will happen now?" She asked, separating just enough to look him in the eyes.
What she saw, however, reflected in the older man's eyes was a clear and absolute resignation. A smile so sad that it was barely one, and a look full of love and goodbyes.
The black-haired girl walked away shaking her head once and twice.
"No it's not true!" She lamented.
But the eldest did not say anything and his silence became a heavy dagger that ended up breaking the miko's heart.
"It's not fair!" She complained.
Using his temperance, the man took a deep breath and contained his sadness.
"We have already been blessed much more than we deserved." He told her with a severe tone. "You know it, I know it. Your mentor has told you as well. Our clan should have fallen long ago, yet here we are. And it is fair, therefore, that we pay for the years of joy that we were allowed."
If only her father had run away with her mother as soon as he found out about her pregnancy... She lamented and then reproached herself for this very thought. Because that would have represented the fall of the clan, and the death of people whom she considered important and whom she also loved; like her grandparents, who had played the role of her parents...
In the end, Kaoru, still with a reeling heart, asked "How can I go on without you?"
His grandfather smiled.
"In the future, my girl, you will be the heir to your father's sword." He told him proudly. "You will not be alone. You never will be."
The white canvas dissolved into brushstrokes of color, until creating a painting of a landscape that seemed familiar to the miko. A mansion with wide hallways, with a dojo in the background.
"You must continue." Her grandfather told her, guiding her so that she could look straight at that image. "Your heart should not doubt, my little one. Even if names change, we are still the same and we love you the same. The ties that unite us will not be broken."
The tears subsided, stopped by a sudden curiosity and hope. She turned to look at him again.
"I don't know if I have the courage. I made it a point not to give up, but even with everything I've done, I still haven't been able to take a step forward. Not truly." She lamented. Her last conversation with Kenshin still made her feel sad.
"Maybe it wasn't the time yet." Her grandfather refuted, smiling understandingly. "But now you're ready. Do not worry. Your heart has already decided which direction to go." He concluded, guiding her towards a new vision.
Towards the silhouette of a figure standing in front of her, illuminated by the light behind him, the image was plunged into shadows; but she was able to discover that look, that smile, and her body reacted on its own, accepting the hand that he offered her.
...
KIOTO, 1865
When she opened her eyes, there were no more tears, nor that intoxicating anguish. She was still sad about what was to come, that had not changed, but she felt equally at peace and determined.
She discovered herself lying on the futon in her room. It was still night and the little moonlight barely allowed her to distinguish herself. When her heart returned to its slow, gentle rhythm, she stood up and moved towards the entrance to her room. Outside she found two chokkais standing guard, the other two young women who had entered the previous year.
"Kaoru dono!" They both exclaimed when they saw her.
"I need your assistance," she said, the two nodded. "And I need you to prepare the meeting room, call Guji, the priest Kago, the eternal chokkai Hikari, and her companion Sasaki."
After looking at each other strangely, the two young girls got to work; one returned with Kaoru to the interior of the room, the other went out to carry out her assignment.
"I can't stay still," the miko thought to herself. "If I want to protect the people I love, I have to start moving."
EDO
"Pull hard!"
Kenshin's eyes continued to watch the members of Kamiya Castle working to clean up the rubble after the fight. Too soon the leaders of the clans under the daimyo had arrived, and had taken the lead in directing that scene.
Not that there was really anything to look at in that boast. What attracted Kenshin's attention was that boy with blue eyes -Satoshi-, almost as blue as his partner's. Another member of the second branch due to his bastard status, who despite having earned the surname, could not aspire to become part of the first branch - contrary to Kaoru, whose secret had put her in the line of succession. Kenshin wondered what good there would be in possessing such a secret if unveiling it would bring more harm than good.
He tightened his grip on the hilt of his katana. Would Kaoru know that story? Perhaps, because of her gift, she had known the truth for a long time. He closed his eyes in sorrow.
"No." He stated to himself. Remembering his friend's smile every time she talked about her brother, there was nothing to indicate that she doubted that relationship.
And now, with the present dilemma.
"Kenshin!" Sanosuke called him walking to him. He had a bandaged hand and a patch on one cheek. "Thank goodness you're okay," he said as soon as he reached him.
The redhead tried to shake off his worries.
"I had only one difficult confrontation," he confessed. "How about you? What happened to your hand?"
"Oh, this? I got distracted while fleeing and I hit the crooked blow, nothing serious" He explained, smiling. "And well? What should we do now? It will dawn soon."
The samurai inhaled and exhaled forcefully, he looked tired and worried.
"Masato san thinks it will be better to stay in the castle and try to negotiate through representatives. But the rest of the clans do not entirely agree. Master Genzai thinks we should move on to a rescue mission first, recovering the leader of the Kamiya clan."
The brunette whistled.
"And what do you think? Your wound still requires rest, doesn't it?"
"I can handle a solo confrontation, but not a raid," Kenshin replied. "Actually what worries me is something else."
Sano blinked in confusion, and with some interest as well.
"And what is it?" He asked him.
"I'm afraid it's not my secret to share" He smiled sadly "but-"
"Serious problems! Serious problems!" It was heard in the distance.
A group of three samurai came running to the esplanade of the main garden, everyone present turned around at the commotion and the majority advanced towards the boys, they came straight to where Masato and Genzai were talking with two other nobles and Koishijirou. Kenshin and Sanosuke shared a look before deciding to go towards them as well.
"What happened?" Koishijirou asked.
The boy in front seemed to choke on the words.
"Speak at once!" Masato ordered him without patience.
The boy jumped at the power of his superior's anger and swallowed dryly.
"The leader of the Kamiya clan has been executed."
"Ah!"
Aphonia.
An uncontrollable anger began to grow and grow in Kenshin's body. What he had feared so much had finally happened, and he had been powerless to do anything to prevent it. The helplessness he felt was so great that the only way to get rid of that terrible emotion was to burst into anger.
A/N: Nope, we aren't finished with "the secrets we keep" chapters, one is missing, the most important of all, and then boom! We finally reach the climax that I have already promised so much LOL.
I'm still in poor health, so my writing is sporadic, but I hope you don't give up on this story.