With more energy than he knew what to do with, Colin resigned himself to staying up the entire night again. Since he had more than enough energy to survive, Colin was free to spend the night with his roommates without needing to drain them. It was a rare opportunity to bond.

Unfortunately, Colin's mind was too preoccupied to take advantage of that opportunity. Normally he'd interject with some random dull fact of the world or become needlessly contrarian, but tonight he merely sat in his favorite chair in the living room, leg bobbing anxiously as he silently considered the strange couple of days he'd had.

The others didn't seem to notice his out-of-character silence. Guillermo was busy dusting the shelves and knick-knacks while Nandor was busy watching Guillermo dust said shelves and knick-knacks. Nandor stood in the corner "supervising" him, claiming that he needed to make sure Guillermo didn't knock something over or miss a spot. How Nandor could make so many excuses to watch Guillermo and still not realize his own feelings was a mystery to Colin.

Laszlo was sitting on the couch with Nadja, Nadja stretched out across it with one of her hands in his. Laszlo was painting her nails a deep shade of black. He made a show of blowing on the nail polish as it dried, surreptitiously winking at her. She giggled in response, lifting her other hand to cover her mouth.

The amount of love currently festering in the room felt like it would be enough to drown him. He was grateful his roommates got along so well, truly, but everything seemed too … content. Especially when he felt so twisted up inside.

Laszlo kissed Nadja's hand, eliciting another giggle from her. Then he lifted his head from her and finally noticed Colin's leg quickly bouncing up and down.

"Colin Robinson, what the hell are you doing with your leg? Is this some new form of draining you're trying? Because it's not working."

He huffed a breath. "No, it's just… nevermind, forget it." He stood up and made to walk out, but Laszlo wasn't having it.

"I hate to say it, but maybe you're losing your touch! You haven't tried to drain any of us all night. Come to think of it, you weren't anywhere to be found last night, either!"

Huh. So he did notice. It would have been touching, if Colin wasn't in such a shit mood for company.

"Yeah. And you looked pretty rough this morning, too," Guillermo added unhelpfully.

Colin glared at Guillermo for a moment before he realized he was suddenly the center of attention. Normally this would be a wonderful opportunity to drain them, but his skin still itched and his muscles were restless. Nadja and Laszlo shared a concerned look with each other.

"I'm not losing my touch, I just stayed up last night without draining and I drained too much today! It's not important and it's not anybody's business."

Laszlo held up his hands in surrender. "Easy, Colin Robinson. We don't care what you do or don't you - I could give a monkey's tit what nonsense you got up to last night, but if you'd like to tell us, we're all ears."

Nadja nodded in agreement, pulling one of Laszlo's hands into her lap. "Yes, Colin Robinson, we are merely curious about your unusual behavior! It is strange for you to be… well, strange."

Nandor coughed into his clenched fist. "And I am as well. Curious, I mean."

After waiting a few beats, Colin heaved a sigh and returned to his seat. His hands gripped the armrests as his body sunk deeper into the chair.

"There's a new girl at work."

There was a very long pause as they waited for him to continue. He did not.

Then Colin sensed a spark of understanding appear in Laslo's mind. A shit-eating grin spread across his face. "Ah, I see, you dirty motherfucker! You've been sexing this new girl at work! Hence the sleepless night and your shit appearance this morning!"

Nadja clapped her hands together. "Colin Robinson, I didn't know you had an interest in taking a human lover! It that why you've got the jittery jitters? Has your new lady shaken you so?"

Colin's face twisted with confusion and irritation. "What? No. I haven't- what?"

Guillermo chuckled from his dusty corner, feather duster still in hand. "C'mon guys, this is Colin Robinson we're talking about. Clearly that's not what's going on." He looked back at Colin. "It's not, right?"

"No! She just started work yesterday!"

"Wouldn't stop me," Laszlo muttered.

Colin threw his hands up, "She and I are just friends."

It became immediately clear to Colin that that was the wrong thing to say. His roommates all quickly looked at each other with equally shocked expressions as the magnitude of what he just said began to sink in. They filled the room with a heavy cloud of their disbelief, which invaded his lungs unpleasantly.

Nadja leaned toward him. "You have made a … friend, Colin Robinson? A human one? Not like that little energy vampire you worked with?"

Colin went stiff. He felt exposed. Like they were energy vampires too, and they could all sense what he was feeling. Not that he was even sure what that was.

"Yeah, she's human." He swallowed. "She's really weird for a human, though."

He sat up straighter. The truth began spilling from his lips in a rush. "I've been trying to drain her, but it's like she's got this-this thing about her that won't let me! I'll say something boring, or irritating, and then she just laughs! Or teases me or ignores me or… or flirts with me! Like she knows I won't know what to do with it!"

Then he was out of his chair, pacing the room, hands moving wildly. "Everything I threw at her she threw back. Made fun of her hair and she made fun of my not having any. Talked over her and she stopped talking to me. And then she apologized! Apologized to me! For being too much. Well, she is! She is too much! She's too much and I still can't drain any of her!"

His pacing stopped. He breathed heavily, suddenly feeling very, very tired. He'd finally exerted the energy he'd drained earlier, but he didn't feel relief. Just a restless agitation.

Nandor decided to pipe up. "Sheesh. Drama queen much, ey, Guillermo?"

Guillermo gave a nervous obligatory chuckle. He recovered quickly though, and looked at Colin with something more sincere. A bittersweet energy, somewhere between pity and sympathy. "Colin… isn't having a new friend a good thing?"

He didn't know how to answer that. "I guess?"

"Yes, Guillermo is right," Nandor declared, "you should not look at the gift in the horse's mouth, Colin Robinson. It's terribly rude."

The others nodded. The disbelief they'd felt earlier had quickly faded. Whatever surprise they felt at hearing that Colin had found a new friend was gone, replaced with the calm resignation only centuries-old vampires could achieve. It was a passive energy they radiated most days which he found to be extremely comforting. Colin began to feel more at ease than he had in days.

Guillermo set aside the feather duster and took a seat. "And it's probably not impossible to drain her anyway, Colin. Everybody's got something that bothers them. Remember when… who was it, George? Yeah, George, remember when his first week you had a hard time draining him as much as everybody else?" Colin slowly nodded. "But you were patient, and you experimented, and you figured out what got to him! I'm sure it'll be the same this time."

"Yes, Colin Robinson, if anybody can bore this poor girl then it would be you," Nadja supplied.

He shrugged noncommittally, but in truth his confidence was bolstered a bit. "Maybe. But every time I get close to draining her she dodges it somehow. It doesn't make any sense."

Guillermo considered Colin's words with a serious expression. He opened his mouth to respond, but Laszlo cleared his throat and interrupted. "Perhaps we could go back to what you were saying before? Did you say this human woman flirted with you, Colin Robinson?"

Colin didn't like the smirk growing on his face. " … yes. Once, as a joke."

Nadja looked skeptical. "Are you sure she was flirting and not, I don't know, trying to sneeze? In my experience males tend to be piss-poor at reading womanly signals. Vampire men or otherwise."

"Ignore her, Colin Robinson, she knows not of what she speaks!" Laszlo exclaimed. Nadja rolled her eyes. "If you say this lady from work tried to seduce you, I'm sure she did!"

"I don't think that's what Colin's saying, Laszlo," Guillermo gently said. "Sometimes human women flirt with guys, even if they don't really mean it. Back at Panera all my coworkers were girls and they always flirted with me even though they pretty much knew I was-"

He froze. He stuttered through a breathy, nervous laugh. "Kn-Knew I was too dedicated to my job to ever date! Yup, too busy. Ha ha."

Nandor nodded solemnly, oblivious. "Yes, making the Panera bread is a very demanding, but noble occupation. Almost as noble as being my familiar."

Nadja snorted. Nandor glared a bit and asked what was so funny about what he just said. Nadja said it was probably more noble to be a loaf of Panera bread than it was to be his familiar. And so began a lengthy argument about the merits of bread vs the merits of being the familiar of the great Nandor the Relentless.

With the conversation about Joan having suddenly ended, Colin considered just sitting back and draining the energy being produced from the argument playing out in front of him. But it had been a long day and a long night, and the thought of lying down in bed and shutting himself off was a lot more appealing than it usually was.

He quietly retreated from the room and made his way to the basement. He felt a little better, having burnt off his restless energy and received genuine words of support from his immortal roommates.

Just as he turned the knob to his bedroom door, a dark smoke cloud poofed into existence beside him. The cloud dissipated almost immediately, leaving Laszlo in its place. He leaned closer, lips pulled tightly into a smirk.

"I didn't want to say this in front of the others at the risk of putting you in an uncomfortable position, but if you are ever in need of advice on wooing the gentler sex, Colin Robinson, I'm your man! I have centuries of experience for you to draw upon should you want it!"

"Uh… thanks, I guess."

His smirk transformed into something more genuine. "No thanks necessary! I wish I had a tutor such as myself when I first delved into the world of seduction. Would have saved me from suffering the many rejections I had before meeting my lovely lady-wife, Nadja."

Colin quirked a brow, momentarily forgetting his desire to turn in for the night.

"You got rejected? A lot?" It didn't necessarily surprise Colin - he'd witnessed Laszlo get turned down even now quite frequently - but he was surprised to hear him admit it.

Laszlo nodded. "Don't tell Nadja I said this, but she's right - womanly signals can be difficult to read. Mortal women especially! Vampire women will gladly tell you to fuck off if you're not their type, or hiss if you really can't take a hint. Mortal women aren't nearly so expressive. Or violent."

Colin shrugged. "Like I said earlier, her flirting was just a joke. And I know that because her signals aren't hard to read. I'm an energy vampire. Everything she feels, I read loud and clear."

Laszlo blanked. Some kind of small epiphany shot off inside his brain like a lone firework. "Hell, that's right! You have quite the advantage, Colin Robinson. I can only imagine how easy seduction would be had I the ability to read the feelings of every man or woman I pursue."

He rubbed his fingers together thoughtfully. Colin wasn't sure how he felt about the turn this conversation was taking. "Say, Colin Robinson, the next time we're out about town, perhaps you could read the room for me? Pick my next target, tell me how receptive they may be to my attentions?"

"Yeah, totally. I'd be happy to do that for you."

Colin grinned. How much chaos could ensue if he gave him bad advice? How many times could he choose the least receptive person in the room before Laszlo caught on? How much rejection could he drain before Laszlo gave up?

Laszlo clapped Colin on the back. "Wonderful! I'm sure this will be a very successful partnership. With my expertise and your empathic abilities, we'll be an unstoppable, irresistible force!"

He gave Colin a once-over. "Well, I will be irresistible. You only need to be so to your human woman from work."

"Again, I'm not trying to date her. But thanks, anyway."

Laszlo shook his head. "As Nandor said, don't look this gift horse in its mouth. Even flirtations beginning as jokes can turn to something more. Love will sneak up on you in the night like a vampiress through a bedroom window. And when that vampiress bites your neck you better believe there is no hope of thwarting the transformation that will overtake you."

He stepped back. "I really don't care what you choose to do. Seduce her, don't seduce her, doesn't affect me one bit. But think on my words tonight, Colin Robinson. I'll leave you to do… whatever it is you do in there. Bat!"

And then he was gone, flying through the maze of halls that was their home.

It was several minutes before Colin entered his bedroom. He stood in the empty hall, slowly digesting Laszlo's words, as he suggested. It was ridiculous, of course, everything he'd said. Flowery words of devotion and love meant little to an energy vampire. He'd never been human - never had that pesky desire to procreate like humans did. He'd always assumed the reason vampires bothered shacking up together was because they'd started off human, still holding on to their evolutionary purpose even after death. He had dated Evie, but out of a mutual interest to drain and feed. When that relationship no longer fulfilled its purpose, he broke it off. So what use would there be in pursuing a human?

He shook his head. Why was he even entertaining these thoughts? Laszlo was getting to him.

Colin finally entered his room and breathed a deep sigh as he shut the door. He sat on the edge of his bed then lay down, staring at the gray cracks in his ceiling. Slowly, his eyes began to shut. He didn't know how long it was before he actually fell asleep, but he did know that the sound of the alarm waking him up was one of the most unpleasant things he'd ever heard.

Colin slowly trudged into the office. Despite his roommates' faith in him, he had little hope he'd drain Joan today. He considered avoiding her and just draining everyone else, like he did everyday before she showed up.

But the second he saw her face, lit up by the cold light of the morning sun, determination welled within him. He would figure her out. And he would drain her. And she'd slump over her desk and take a much needed nap, if the bags under her eyes and work on her desk were any indication.

Joan had arrived at the office early again. She was working diligently on whatever it was payroll workers did, when George from HR walked over. She looked up at him and immediately seemed to deflate a bit. She idly turned her chair side to side as George began speaking, her mouth pressed into a thin line. Colin couldn't hear what they were talking about, but even from this distance he could sense she was - holy hell, she was bored!

Excitement buzzed in his veins. Was this it? Would he finally learn how to drain her?

Eager to find out what exactly George was doing to make her look so painfully bored, Colin slunk around the cubicles surrounding them, attempting to eavesdrop on their conversation without alerting them to his presence. He could catch most of the conversation, if you could even call it that. It seemed George was doing all of the talking.

"-but yeah, there's definitely an adjustment period. Since Biff's … unfortunate situation, we've been pretty behind so we're looking to hit the ground running. If there's anything that can be done to better support you as you acclimate, definitely communicate that with Val. She's a really, uh, great department head, all the department heads are actually…"

Okay, standard work talk. As the HR rep, George must have been checking in on her at the end of her first week. And it was practically boring Joan to tears. Her boredom was rich and smooth like a drizzle of melted chocolate. Colin knew he should drain her, and he wanted to, but some proud part of him wanted the satisfaction of boring her himself.

George continued to prattle on. Joan started looking around the office listlessly, her boredom so obvious you didn't need to be an energy vampire to sense it. Her eyes eventually locked with Colin's. She perked up a little, then looked back at George. Then to Colin. Then to George again. Was she … trying to tell him something? He could read feelings not minds.

Confused but intrigued, Colin left and stopped by his own cubicle. He sensed a spike of disappointment coming from Joan's direction as he walked away. Weird. Colin quickly grabbed his mug off his desk, which still had cold coffee in it from the previous day. Mug now in hand, Colin stalked toward them with confidence. He began tapping his fingers against his mug, George prickling at the sound of it. Colin smirked.

"You HR types waste no time breaking in the newbies, huh?"

George frowned. "We were just talking about how Joan was adjusting. She's replacing Biff. Have you two met yet?"

Joan piped up, exuding a strange sort of excitement. "We have, actually. He was very welcoming!"

Both men looked at her with disbelief. She wore an easy smile, her boredom dissipating back into amusement, like she was winning a game only she knew the rules to.

"Well," George said, "that's … good. I'm glad you're making such an effort, Colin."

Colin didn't know what to do with the sudden praise, even if it was spoken with a good degree of skepticism. So instead he fell back on what he knew, and he started slurping his cold coffee as loudly as he could. George grimaced then quickly excused himself.

Once George was out of earshot, Joan swiveled toward Colin, beaming. "Thank you for that, he just kept talking and repeating himself and there wasn't a point to any of it. I guess he wanted to seem welcoming and supportive, but…"

She shrugged, letting the end of her sentence hang in the air. Colin nodded along mindlessly as he tried to figure out what the hell George did so differently to bore her. Long scientific descriptions and discussions of knuckle-cracking didn't bore her, but basic work talk did?

"Eh, he won't seem so 'welcoming' when he calls you into his office for quote unquote 'making everyone uncomfortable with your excessive unsolicited facts about proper dental hygiene, Colin.'"

She laughed. She actually laughed. He didn't even know he was making a joke. It was true that George did call him into his office after he'd decided to warn half his coworkers against the use of whitening strips to correct coffee-stained teeth, which most people here had. Not him, though. He wondered if he drank enough coffee if his teeth would actually stain. He was impervious to fire, to weapons, to… well, anything. But what would coffee do? He didn't know all of the energy vampire rules.

"Passionate about dental health, are you?" She cocked a brow, grinning.

"Y'know, everyone else could stand to be a little more concerned with their teeth. Proper dental care is essential to the wellness of the entire body. Studies show that gum disease is associated with other more serious illnesses like heart disease."

She chuckled again. He had no idea what she found so funny about that. "I'll keep that in mind the next time I floss."

He didn't understand this. He was unaccustomed to conversations flowing as easily as they did with her. It was disconcerting, honestly. So Colin decided now was the time to make an attempt to bore her. George did it through work-related chit chat. He could handle that.

He gestured to the piles of papers on her desk. "They're starting you off with a lot pretty fast, huh? I'm not surprised, it seems like people are always drowning in work here. The burnout is real. And with the company's, frankly, draconian time off policy it's not like it's going to get any better. Have they given you a copy of the employee handbook yet? I have a couple copies, if you need to borrow one. There's a lot of useful information in there about benefits, absences, code of conduct…"

He could feel it. She was getting bored. The smile she wore so frequently was gone, replaced by that same flat expression she had earlier that morning. Her boredom tasted all the better for how hard-won it was. She started blinking slower and slower as he pulled her energy away from her. Who knew the answer was so simple? So obvious? She was bored by anything work-related. No wonder he couldn't drain her before. Their previous conversations seemed to veer off in directions he couldn't anticipate. But now he knew her weakness and he wouldn't lose track this time.

Colin smugly continued explaining the company culture, idly moving his mug back and forth so the coffee within spun into a small vortex. Just as he began diving into the company's ethics policies, it all went to hell.

She jolted in her chair, suddenly inhaling a quick breath. Her eyes flashed with determination as defiance grew around an undercurrent of boredom. Somehow, she was attempting to … resist the draining. The boredom remained undrained, a spike of spitefulness preventing him from accessing it. The sudden change from boredom to whatever this was slammed into him with the same physicality as a truck running him over. He dropped his mug, which hit the corner of her desk and cracked in two, spilling days-old coffee onto the gray carpet.

Whatever spell had come over her broke as soon as the mug did. She bent down and picked up the pieces, holding them up for him to see. The stubborn look in her eye disappeared as they both surveyed the damage.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to startle you! I was just trying to wake myself up, I didn't mean to… oh, I feel terrible."

And she did, he could feel it. She was broadcasting lots of strange, unfamiliar emotions, like regret and guilt and concern for him. He'd have drained her of it, but he was too preoccupied with what had just occurred. She had resisted him! He hadn't even known that was possible. He'd finally figured out how to bore her, and she'd gone and stumbled into a way to sidestep him again. He should have been more frustrated, but mostly he was just confused.

While Colin tried to digest what just happened, Joan frantically pressed the two pieces of the mug back together, trying to line up the edges. She fretted over the broken mug far more than she should have, muttering more apologies.

Looking up at him a little helplessly, she said, "The edges didn't break as clean as I hoped. They won't stick together as well as they should. I'm not sure glue can fix this one."

"It's-it's fine, don't worry about it." Much like on her first day, he began backing away. "Just keep it, for all I care."

He turned away and quickly headed for the breakroom, ignoring the concern Joan radiated toward him. He seated himself in a corner away from the other employees serving themselves coffee. His hand rapped an uneven rhythm against the table as his thoughts ran away from him.

This wasn't like when she chose not to be offended by his insults. This wasn't like when she calmed herself down and shut him out. This was a total rejection of what he was. She hadn't found a way to dispel her boredom this time - she'd just found a way to dispel him.

And he was terrified.