Being a vampire had some perks.
Being able to carry objects heavier than any human would have any business carrying with ease was one of them.
She just wished it wasn't needed in this situation.
Elena wasn't sure how long she'd sat with Elijah's body, it was dark when she left the mausoleum, but she had no idea what time she'd woken up in the first place. She could have sat with him for hours, or even days, she really didn't know. What difference did it make? Time had no real meaning, it never had; it was just made up. Who's idea was it? Who had kept track of time and years, and days and hours, and minutes and seconds.
What was the damn point?
All she knew was that Elijah was dead.
Forcing her feet to keep moving, Elena refused to stumble under the reminder.
She had to take Elijah's body to his family.
Thankful for the cover of the New Orleans night, she continued her slow pace back to the plantation house, her feet shuffling across the cobbled pathway.
Somewhere in the back of her mind she hoped that the only people out at this time of night were other vampires, at least they probably wouldn't question the sight of her slow, zombie-like shuffle, or the body draped across her arms.
Those thoughts were hardly given an ear, brushed aside for confused rambling, distressed thoughts swirling around her fatigued mind.
He was dead.
Elijah was dead.
He wasn't supposed to die. Not ever. And definitely not before her. And definitely, definitely not by her hands. Possessed or not.
Hardly registering where she was or what she was doing, Elena found herself stopping, collapsing to her knees as she realised she was back at the house; any energy left in her draining from her body in an instant.
Again, she didn't know how long she knelt on the porch, stroking Elijah's hair.
Eventually the door to the plantation house opened; gentle hands pried her away from Elijah, her Elijah, not her Elijah, they'd never gotten there after all, and now they never would.
She was wrapped in a vaguely familiar pair of arms, blonde hair invading her vision as another mass of blonde descended on Elijah.
Finally back where she needed to be; freed from the burden, the need, of carrying Elijah home, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, exhaustion, despair, whisked her body into a numb sleep.
"You can't be serious!"
"Elijah and Hayley are dead! The Hollow took over Elena's body and killed them both! How are we supposed to believe that it's her now?"
"Davina can do a spell!"
"I'm pretty sure an entity as powerful as The Hollow can get around a spell performed by a baby witch."
"You're being ridiculous!"
"And you're being naïve!"
"If you seriously think-"
The sound of Elena stirring in her bed stopped Caroline in her tracks, a glare aimed at Klaus making it clear that she wasn't done with their conversation, if it could be called a conversation.
"Elena?" Caroline murmured, sitting beside her friend in half a heartbeat, grasping at her hand. "Sweetie?"
Elena's eyes slowly fluttered open, glazed and seeing nothing for a few moments before they focused groggily on Caroline.
"Care?" She whispered, not even noticing the ties holding her to the bed as her eyes filled with tears. "Where is he? Where have they put him?"
"He's safe, sweetie," Caroline returned just as quietly, rubbing Elena's hand, "until we can sort everything out. I promise."
A tear rolled out of the corner of Elena's eye, running until it met the pillow under her head. "She made me watch it all, Hayley, Elijah…she killed him; I killed him, I-" Her rambling cut off as quickly as it started, a suppressed sob catching in her throat.
Ignoring Klaus's concerned glare, Caroline practically threw herself forward, hugging Elena as tightly as she could.
"I'm so sorry." She muttered. "I'm so, so sorry, Elena."
Wrenching in a wheezy breath, Elena turned to look at Klaus, the only other person in the room. His eyes were rimmed with red, subtle, but there none the less as he met her gaze, eyes hard as he looked back at her.
"Klaus, I'm so sorry, I tried, I tried so hard to stop her, but I-I couldn't. She just..I…it was too much, I couldn't."
She watched his gaze soften slightly, a curt nod was sent her way before he turned and abruptly left the room, calling after Caroline to follow him.
"Elena, they don't…we can't…"
"I know." Elena whispered, offering Caroline a soft smile. "You have to be sure. It's okay."
With a sad smile and a quick glance back at her friend, Caroline left the room.
"Don't do it."
"I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be up here." Elena muttered, not turning her head to look at the newcomer to her room.
"He was so desperate to get you back, Elena, don't make it all for nothing."
"What does it matter?" She sighed, curling onto her side as far as she could, one arm stretched out behind her where she remained tied up. "He's not here anymore. At least I won't get sick this time."
"Elena-"
"You shouldn't be up here, D, you should go."
Davina let out a huff of breath, folding her arms over her chest and frowning at Elena's back, her eyes lingering on the chains that held her to the bed. "I don't like this." She muttered, biting her lip. "I can feel the Hollow and she's not here; not in you or anywhere else in the house!" Taking a deep breath, she consciously quieted her tone. "They just won't believe me."
"You never know, Davina, she's powerful, she could just be hiding herself from you."
"No, she's not! Elena, I-"
"Davina!" Caroline paused in the doorway, releasing a soft breath when she saw the young girl sat beside Elena. "Elena's right; it sucks and its super sad that we can't trust her, but it could be really dangerous for you up here."
"Could be." Davina argued, shaking her head, but standing up with a sigh and storming out of the room anyway.
Caroline let out another frustrated breath, rubbing her forehead. There wasn't much she could say to Davina to make it better for the girl, after all, not all that long ago Caroline would've been acting much the same as Davina. Headstrong and desperate to care for her friends.
"Elena, I don't…"
"It's fine, Caroline, just go."
"Here, drink up," Rebekah urged, holding a blood bag to Elena's lips, "Nik is just about willing to concede that the Hollow isn't keeping hold of you anymore."
Elena nodded slightly, downing the blood bag Rebekah held. "I'm surprised he's being talked around already."
Rebekah laughed. "I think it probably has something to do with Caroline."
Elena let out a soft scoff, shaking her head. "Sounds about right."
Turning her head slightly to pay attention to words that Elena couldn't hear, Rebekah let out a breath, nodding before turning back to Elena and pulling out a key from her pocket. Carefully unlocking the padlocks holding the chains together, Rebekah unwound the chains from Elena's limbs, making a face when Elena stretched out, joints popping.
"What?" She asked, shrugging. "If you will keep me tied up."
Tilting her head, Rebekah examined the brunette in front of her, pursing her lips after a moment. "Really? Again?"
Elena rolled her eyes. "Don't judge me, Rebekah, I'm sure you would do the same if you could."
"He would hate this." The blonde said firmly. "If he was here, he would hate this."
"Good thing he's not here then."
Their eyes met for a moment before Rebekah sighed and turned away. "Don't go off the rails, for the love of god."
Elena grinned at the blonde, pulling her blood-stained shirt over her head and spinning on the ball of her foot, flouncing into her bathroom. She shut the door behind her, half paying attention to the sound of Rebekah leaving her room and heading down the stairs.
Turning on the shower, Elena continued removing the rest of her clothes, the necklace hanging around her neck catching her attention. Elijah had never taken his necklace back after they'd found him; it had remained around her neck, neither of them had talked about it, it had just stayed that way.
Contemplating the necklace for a moment, she left it around her neck, discarding the thought of it as best she could and stepping into the shower.
Taking in a long breath she let it out in a slow sigh, enjoying the feel of the water washing over her. She knew how everyone would react to her turning off her humanity again, but she really didn't care. She's only been able to deal with the consequences of turning it on because of Elijah; she'd barely had a chance to actually process Jeremy's death properly, with everything else happening in New Orleans.
Where could she start with Elijah?
They hadn't even had a chance to tell each other how they felt, not really. She didn't even know what they had been. Were they together? Were they just friends? Friends who were in love with each other, but much too broken to ever pursue it?
There was too much there. Too much that could have been, should have been, maybe even would have been; if they'd had more time.
She couldn't do this. She couldn't keep thinking about him, about them.
It was too much, and not enough, and if she dwelled too long everything hurt, and she didn't want it to hurt anymore. Grabbing her shampoo bottle, she huffed, forcing any thoughts of Elijah to the back of her mind.
godric777: Thank you!
HisSecretLover18: Poor Elijah! Poor Elena! Grief is so hard to write, but I tried to portray what she's going through.
qvnthesia: Awh thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!
Guest: Couldn't resist the angst, but if you give it a chance I'm sure you'll come around to it!
Guest: You're very welcome! I hope you enjoyed! Thank you!
lauramorgenstern: I feel so bad, but how could I resist?
Guest: Our poor babies! I'm so sorry, but thank you for the chefs kisses!
Grief is hard, and writing grief is really hard. But I really hope this has come across in the way I intended.
Let me know what you think about it, I can't wait to hear from all of you!
Until next time
~ I x