Belle was upset, but he was able to get her to sit down on the cot finally. Suddenly feeling a determination to do better than he had been doing in the last few weeks, he sat down beside her, held her hand, and let her cry on his shoulder as she worked through the news the paper hadn't seen fit to print.

This morning, Ruby had come over to the library to give her a gift in celebration of the library opening. She'd arrived with David in tow and explained that since Ruby had done Belle a favor, Belle had to do Ruby a favor. He felt his blood rise with that language. Favors were not deals, though they could be seen as such. Belle should have known better than to engage in such behavior as favor exchanging. However, fortunately for her, the favor Ruby had asked of his wife wasn't life-shattering. David was looking for a babysitter for tonight. Apparently, post-pregnancy and magical mayoral election, Mary Margaret needed a break. Ordinarily, Ruby would step in to fill that gap, but she couldn't because "she was gone."

Ruby was gone. But she wasn't dead, as he'd first assumed, and she hadn't been kidnapped or taken by Ingrid as he'd then expected. The truth of it was less than he'd feared for Belle's sake and yet greater than he ever could have anticipated.

He was shocked to discover that Ruby was in possession of a magic bean. Remarkable. Cora had destroyed the last field of beans he'd known about. But apparently, since the new Curse had taken effect, Ruby had been working in the fields with a giant, and now she had one and was ready to use it. To go where? Belle didn't know. He only understood that the wolf was feeling lost and lonely lately. She planned to use the bean to go and find more like her in another realm.

He had a number of opinions on the subject of Ruby's departure. First, of course, was the idea that there were still beans in Stoyrbrooke somewhere. He'd already dealt more times than he'd like to with the kinds of problems that those could cause, and he wasn't exactly keen on doing it all over again.

And then there was the fact that even when Ruby was playing a role behind the scenes, she'd been critical to the Charming Family in several ways. She'd helped them keep Henry safe, gathered information, sniffed out various suspects, and even done some babysitting for them. Her departure was going to leave a hole in the Charming Family, and he was less than thrilled that, at the first trial, it was falling to Belle to fill that role. He worried that going to babysit tonight would turn into a habit, and while the act of her watching someone else's children didn't bother him, the idea that she might be the one to fill Ruby's shoes for them did. It was only going to pull her closer to the people he wanted to keep hidden from at the moment and would only make things more complicated for him.

But…

Belle, sitting in his arms bawling because Ruby had sent her a final text message goodbye, wasn't about his problems. He was the Dark One. And while part of him wanted to go after Ruby and take the bean, question the town about where the harvest was hidden so he could use it for himself…he was also a husband. His work with the hat was important. It would serve to make him a better husband one day. But if he couldn't hold on to his marriage because he neglected it, his work with the hat wouldn't matter.

So, he stayed there on that cot for as long as Belle needed him to. He kept his comments about her babysitting to a minimum. And he held her. He tried to be helpful. He tried to insist that she return to the house and rest, cancel the babysitting for the night, but she wouldn't hear it. After lunch, she'd finally kissed him goodbye and returned to the library.

He watched her shuffle across the street, pull out her keys, and wipe her face once more before entering the library. For a moment, he stared, his mind analyzing every option and opportunity before him. He took into account the hat and the beans, the dagger and Emma, and even the thief that had broken into the library, then shook his head and went into the back room.

Fuck it. Fuck it all. Just for today.

It was a delicate balance that he had to keep on the situation at hand, and though one side of it felt stable and perfect, he was reminded that all magic came with a price. Once upon a time, he'd managed a delicate balance like this. He'd spun many plates and done it by micromanaging each one, even those that hadn't required him, careful to make sure they spun on and on, never stopping, never dropping. Now, he'd been careless. He'd been paying too much attention to one plate, and the cost was that the others were starting to wobble dangerously, threatening to lose their balance and crash. He had to do better.

Just before sunset Belle left the library for the Charming residence. She didn't think she'd be gone long, just enough to give Mary Margaret a break. The second that she left, he departed the shop. He went home, shucked off his jacket and shoes, ditched the vest and the tie, then got to work.

Babies were deceptive. They were more work than they appeared at first sight. When she got home, she would likely be tired, and while that saddened him because it decreased the chances of their evening honeymooning, he was happy it gave him the opportunity to serve her in a different way, a way they needed. They needed to talk. About nothing and everything. They needed to get back on the same page again. He felt like they'd been struggling with that since before Zelena, and now he feared that if they didn't get back on solid ground once more, they might end up paying for it in the worst way. He should know; he'd been through it before.

He baked chicken parmesan, a favorite of Lacey's, though he hoped Belle would like it just the same. Then, he looked over some of the paperwork Belle had filled out when he wasn't looking and put it on file in his office. He was tinkering with a broken lock on a door upstairs when he heard her come home and walk right into the kitchen, which was where he found her standing over the casserole dish, fork in hand, chewing on a bite she'd had to eat. That was good, seeing as how dinner had been abandoned the last few nights for other, more carnal activities.

"I figured you'd be hungry," he explained.

She jumped at the sound of his voice but then quickly put the fork aside, sighed in relief, and launched herself into his arms. "I love you," she groaned appreciatively.

He laughed, even though the comment made him feel more accomplished than anything. He'd set out to restore balance, and so he was. "Your adventures in babysitting not what you thought?"

"Babies are exhausting," she sighed again, turning to retrieve her plate so she could sit at the table.

"They certainly are deceptively harder than they look," he replied, fetching a plate and fork for himself to join her. He couldn't remember the last time they'd both sat down to dinner at this table. Hell, it might have been before she'd walked out on him after her return, and that was all he needed to commit to doing this more often.

"Looking at them, you think they only want to sleep all day, and Gideon…he did want to sleep, but Neal just kept screaming! I thought he had to get tired eventually, but he just wouldn't settle!"

"It seems babies sleep only when it's convenient for them, I'm afraid. I take it little Neal is much more work than big Neal was."

"Big Neal could at least tell me what he needed and wanted. He had favorite meals and we had discussions and habits! I knew what to do when he was upset! Little Neal…"

The sound of Belle's voice disappeared. For a second, he thought it was him. He thought when he'd asked the question that he was prepared in expecting a yes or no answer, perhaps a few extra details, but then…

She'd gone and rubbed salt in a wound he sometimes forgot was still open. Jealousy surged. Neal had favorite things to eat. He didn't know what they were. But Belle did. Neal had habits and traditions when he interacted with Belle. Opportunities he'd never get to take hold of. There were things that could be done to calm him when he was upset, discussions he'd never gotten to have, an entire life he wanted to know about, and yet…it stung to think about it. It made envy erupt in his chest. And he feared that Belle knew.

"I'm…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"Belle," he interrupted, reaching over and forcing himself to grab her hand. Too tight. He'd grabbed it too tight. It wasn't just his pain in the room. He had to remember that she was grieving, too. And to ask her to ignore everything she'd experienced with his son in his absence was wrong. "I want to know what you know about him," he stated. "I want to hear everything the two of you did together while I was-"

"Dead."

"I was going to say 'away,' but if you want to be blunt about it…"

The room was quiet save for the hammering of her heart. And when he risked a glance up, he saw that she was smiling. There were tears in her eyes as she looked him over, assessing him just as he was assessing her. And then she sighed, drew in a breath, and opened her mouth.

When he wanted to catch up on what he'd missed while he was away, he hadn't imagined that the stories she would tell of his son might be included. At least he hadn't imagined it for tonight. But he listened. He listened even as each one made him smile and simultaneously cut him right down to the bone.

She ate as she talked, going through the story from her own point of view, one he hadn't glimpsed in his son's memories, though every now and then, an image, a memory of one of Bae's memories, would spark. Their arrival in the Enchanted Forest. Neal looking after her as she'd felt hallow, protecting her from Zelena and the others, the very people she'd just babysat for this evening when he moved her out of Regina's castle. He was amazed at the word that the hovel still stood. Embarrassed to think of her living in the same house he'd once lived with his first wife in. And as she wove the tale of how she and Bae had snuck away to go revive him he hung on her every word, shocked and flabbergasted at their cunning and skill, at their ability to work together and get each other through.

And as she talked of the life she'd crafted with his son, suddenly, a new thought dawned on him. One that he'd had long ago in passing but put away because it wasn't in the same context as it was now.

Children…

When he'd had the Seer in his head, she'd once shown him visions of the life he might lead with her, visions he'd been convinced were lies because he couldn't see how they could possibly be true. But now he remembered them. And now that he'd seen Belle in the exact white outfit she'd worn when they were married, the exact same outfit from his vision, he began to wonder which of the others might be true as well. One in particular stood out. It was the image of Belle with a baby in her arms.

The details of that image he'd had were blurry; he'd only gotten a flash of it, and he'd been so focused on Belle in the moment he hadn't paid attention to her surroundings, but now…was that the upstairs room she'd been sitting in? Was the baby he'd seen one she was caring for? Baby Neal, for example, or someone else's child she'd end up looking after. Or, could it be…

He'd never asked her about children. They'd talked about what her life would have looked like if she'd stayed in her father's kingdom, that she would have been expected to bear children, as many as possible, and he knew that she held a deep contempt for that. But now that he thought about it, he was almost certain that the contempt she felt for it wasn't over the children specifically but rather that life and the fact that she would have been forced into it without a choice. Hell, he felt contempt for it for her! But thinking of that image of her with the baby in her arms did leave him thinking…if she did have a choice in the matter, if the child she bore didn't belong to a man she hated but one she loved, was that a choice that she'd make?

Was it a choice he would make?

Fuck, he was an idiot.

No! He wasn't ready for a child now, not this soon after Baelfire. And yet they'd been careless, behaving like teenagers every night they went to bed. When she'd first come back to him, they'd been meticulous at checking her calendar, making sure the possibility of a pregnancy was small, but they hadn't been as careful since he'd returned from Neverland. Hell, they hadn't been careful at all! If she was pregnant now…

She wasn't. He could sense that easily enough in women, and Belle didn't have the smell of pregnancy or the extra heartbeat he'd be able to detect. But if she had been…he'd be happy. He wasn't ready for a child now, but he knew he'd be happy if she was pregnant. He'd always wanted to be a father. He still wanted to be a father. And he knew he always would, in some sappy sort of way. Bae's death didn't take away the fact that he'd always be Bae's father. But to have another child, not with a woman he detested but one he loved…it would be different. He might not be ready for it, but he'd make himself ready. He'd enjoy it. And as for Belle…

"Rumple, what…what is it?" she smiled, suddenly bringing her hand back into his.

Her voice called his attention out of his thoughts and back to her. He had said he wanted dinner and a discussion. He might not have planned on this particular discussion, but…it was important, wasn't it? It was important to know. If nothing else, it was important to know so that he could remind them both that there was a schedule to keep. Wasn't it?

Her eyes bore into him, and he let out a sigh. "I want to ask you something. But I don't know what you'll think about it. And I don't want you to feel pressured."

"Pressured?" she questioned, concern lacing her voice.

It was enough to make him want to stop the conversation, but now that he'd put that much out there…

"What exactly do you want to ask me about?"

"The future…our future…maybe…"

"Maybe? Rumple, whatever this is…you can ask me, you know you can!"

Yes, he did. He could ask, and she could answer. He just wasn't sure if he was ready for that answer yet. But if he didn't ask…

He twisted his hand, lacing her fingers through his own and rubbing circles nervously into the back of her hand. "Belle…I don't suppose…have you ever thought about the possibility of…children?"

There it was. He'd done it. Now it was out there in the world, and he held his breath as she sat there with it. For a moment, she was still. For a moment, she just sat there, but then he heard the sound of her heartbeat speeding up. Her eyes darted from one end of the table to another, looking like a deer caught in headlights, and he felt her panic begin to grow.

It had been a bad idea, the wrong time to ask her.

"Never mind," he urged with a small laugh. "It was a fleeting thought. Forget that I mentioned it."

"No!" she exclaimed, her grip on his hand tightening before he could walk away. His chest tightened. No. Her answer was no? "No, it's not that!" she cried suddenly, meeting his gaze and realizing what she'd said. "It's just…you…you just caught me off guard."

He'd caught himself off guard when he'd thought of it. Hell, he'd caught himself off guard when he'd asked it. But now that he had…

"Well? Have you?"

"You know I have. I've had to think about having children since I was one, but it wasn't something I had a choice about," she explained, her mind going exactly to the place he'd thought it would go. "It was something that was expected of me. It's the first thing that I learned a Queen did…give birth to future kings."

"But you don't have to live that life anymore. You can be my Queen and no one else's. Is it something that you would consider now? With me?"

She swallowed hard. And he noted how her hand was beginning to tremble as she held his own. "I uh…I haven't thought about it since I left my father's castle. Not since we met."

To be precise, she hadn't thought about it since they met because she'd been freed of the idea. He'd always known that talking about that period in her life could be touchy. She didn't like to admit it, but it was a traumatic upbringing. And this conversation was getting far too close to that for comfort.

"What, um…what about you? Have you thought about it? Before now? After Neal…"

Outside of a few moments ago...

"No, not recently, not since Neverland, before Bae…" The thought of other children before he'd found Baelfire had always felt blasphemous, but he'd thought of it. On a couple of occasions in his life, he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he'd thought about it. He was always glad it didn't happen.

"And what do you think? When you think about it, what do you think?"

"I honestly don't know." He was lying. But this lie, it wasn't like the others. He wasn't keeping it from her because she wasn't ready but rather because he was genuinely fearful that his answer might sway her own. If she didn't want children, then he didn't want her to feel forced or pressured into it and if he confessed that it wasn't an idea he hated then she most certainly would feel those things.

"You wanted another child at least once before," she pushed. "With Cora-"

"I did, but it would have been a mistake. Cora…Cora would have been a terrible mistake." Fuck, sometimes he forgot just how much of his life he'd shared with her.

"What about now?" she poked again, trying to catch him all over again, only this time…this time he couldn't lie.

"You and I wouldn't be a mistake," he insisted quickly, knowing full well that if they didn't start being at least a little bit more careful, then there was every possibility they might make a kind of mistake. But not one that he couldn't live with.

"That wasn't what I meant," Belle breathed, a smile stretching across her face as she glanced over at him, her eyes softening. "Do you want a child now, or ever again, for that matter?"

She was being direct, making it more and more difficult to sidestep the question.

"Would you ever consider it?"

She let out a long sigh. One that contained just as much frustration as it did stress. But she was thinking about it again. She was leaning back in her chair, her eyes flickering around the kitchen as if she wasn't really seeing it but rather her own brain, searching for the answer there. He remained quiet, letting her think and explore, letting her consider.

And then he saw it—the small hint of a smile that started at the corner of her mouth and began to curl at both ends. It was gentle and kind. It was almost amused. He felt the hand that he held soften suddenly as the panic in her body began to fade into something else, something new.

"Yes," she whispered excitedly.

"Yes?" he repeated, trying to make sure she meant what he thought she did, and this wasn't a misinterpretation. Yes?!

"Yes," she confirmed, looking over at him and moving her hand to his cheek so she could meet his gaze. "When the time is right, I would want to have a baby with you…a child of our own."

"When the time was right,"…her yes came with a stipulation, one that he couldn't see the harm in. But still…

"Yes?" he asked again, hearing the amazement in his own voice.

"Yes."

This is yet another good one to read from both perspectives. Kind of a funny one to read from both perspectives because for once they're both sort of thinking the same thing here. When talking about whether or not they want to have children both are afraid to give an answer for fear they'll sway the other one. It's darling in my opinion.

Thank you, Rsbeall12 and Grace5231973, for your reviews on the last chapter. I actually had someone reach out to me about Rumple and Belle getting pregnant, probably because they've read Moments and knew they chapter was coming. They remembered that in the beginning they were meticulous about the calendar so she wouldn't have a baby and wondered if Rumple had forgotten or was just continuing to "shoot blanks" with his magic. I was very cagey about the answer because I knew this chapter was coming, but here's the answer. I think up until this moment he forgets. I think after 2x04 when she leaves the house they really forget about it until now and it's really just sheer luck that she doesn't get pregnant. I think that this conversation and the realization here that they haven't been careful, leads to the pair of them being careful again, but we all know that this part of their relationship will effectively end at the end of 4A and won't really resume until the end of 5A, when, to be quite honest, I think she gets pregnant simply because he forgets again. I don't think he's trying to get her pregnant, I genuinely think it's just an accident. Does that sound about right to y'all? Peace and Happy Reading!