"What did it feel like?" Val had asked Spencer as they walked together through New Asgard. Clint wanted to get back to the farm to get ready for Movie Night, and it left Val to guide Spencer through the growing town of New Asgard. It seemed relatively bright and peaceful, there was a slight chill due to being near the water, but it was bearable. It seemed only yesterday that Spencer was tagging along in the mission to locate Odin with Thor and Loki, and only yesterday that she watched the Kingly God turn into dust beside his two sons.
Her heart gives a painful beat at the memory, and the mention of Loki.
She didn't think this grief and pain would ever go away, and that scared her.
"Did what feel like?" Spencer asked, stuffing her hands into the pockets of Yelena's vest. Her ears homed in on the sound of children laughing, and a flock of them ran by the duo without a care in the world. It made Spencer smile briefly.
She liked it here, she concluded to herself. She felt a little more at ease here, among people she cared for, among people who she fought beside. Maybe it was because of the Asgard life-force in her body that was making her feel this way, she really didn't know at this point.
"Turning into dust," Val elaborated, there had been a pause in her voice, as if the newly anointed Queen of New Asgard didn't want to upset or offend Spencer.
Spencer met Val's curious gaze, "Nothing," She looked down at her hands, remembering seeing her hands turning into dust, feeling that hopelessness that she was fading away from her loved ones, she remembered the feeling of horror and failure that had washed over her a second later after realizing she would cease to exist, "It wasn't painful, and it certainly didn't feel like anything—I was just fading," She gave a light shrug, "Eventually, it just felt like falling asleep."
Val was quiet as she ran through Spencer's answer, and she took the opportunity to admire the quaint town. Val had been leading her to the center of the town, to show her something there that the Asgardians had done for her after the news came that she had been dusted after the Snap. The land bearing New Asgard was plain, not too much flora, and Spencer remembered hearing from Clint or T'Challa that the soil here was tough, too tough to grow crops naturally.
But the village was well-removed from the rest of the world, a lot of security measures were put in place to protect the Asgardians as they rebuilt and settled. Spencer's eyes wandered, landing on a horde of children at the bottom of the hill, all gawking at her and Val. Various adults from all ages, standing at their doorways to watch as Val guided her through town.
Flashes of the battle with Hela overcame her—the elite undead warriors, the faces of horror of the commonfolk, Thor's missing eye, Hela's vicious smile, Heimdall's golden eyes, and Asgard being reduced to space rocks. The familiar sting of wanting to cry hit her nose first, and then she felt the sting in her eyes, and she was quick to shake that feeling away.
"You've become a legend," Val spoke up after a few minutes to silence, maybe the older woman sensed that Spencer needed some time to her own thoughts, "You fought for them," Val continued, and a part of her didn't want to hear or remember the battle that sealed all their fates, "Scarified so much for them even though they weren't your own people, you bled for them, cried for them—how could they not stand in awe at the warrior who they thought to be gone?"
She turned towards Val with the sting of tears in her eyes, a hand grasping Val's wrist, "Please," Spencer spoke in a tremble of a voice full of pleading and pain, her heart was racing, and Val saw it all.
"Get used to it," Val murmured quietly—a flashback to the angry and drunk Val back on Sakaar came to her, and it was such a different contrast to the Val standing before her, "They won't let you shy away from them, and as much pain as it brings you, we all owe you something for fighting with us—I fought because I wanted revenge, but you, Spencer? You fought for no other reason than to support your friends."
Spencer felt her hand tighten on Val's wrist, but the older woman paid no mind to it. They stared at each other, one woman struggling to come to terms with so much horror and lose, while the other was barely coming into her prime as Queen. "Cry and weep," Val says softly, her brown eyes softening and some of her harsher demeanor washing away for her, "You deserve to take as much time you need to grieve, because you've been put through a lot more than most of these folk. I know the feeling, and I know you know what I'm referring to."
"I don't want to cry anymore," Spencer admits quietly, trying not to cry.
"That makes it worse," Val points out with a small smile.
Spencer gives a watery smile in return, "You might cry some more then," Val gently shakes off her hand, and guides her deeper into the town, the houses growing thicker, and more Asgardians watching and following them. A few elders reaching out to run their fingers down Spencer's arms, murmuring silent words that didn't reach her ears—welcoming her back home.
Spencer, despite her anxiety and spiraling emotions, smiled gently at them. In respect to them, she didn't dare turn any of them away, she usually didn't tolerate strangers touching her, but the people of New Asgard had earned her complete respect and trust.
"You know what I did when I heard from Thor that you got dusted?" Val questioned suddenly, an elderly man offering her a brown bag of baked goods, Val nodded her thanks, and began digging through the bag to pull out a muffin, "I got black-out drunk with Thor, and ended up face-first into the dirt," Spencer's lips twitched upwards as Val passed her the muffin, before pulling another muffin from the bag.
"I've lost so much, and to arrive here, and learn that you were gone…" Val made a frustrated noise from the back of her throat, "Fuck, I felt so betrayed," Val shook her head, "But that same night was the night I swore off drinking so bloody much because I knew between Thor and me, one of us needed to be sober. You were gone, and you had always done a fine job in keeping Thor in line—"
"Not really—"
"Better than anyone else," Val interjected with a chuckle, "You don't need me to tell you how much your absence affected Thor—it was the last straw for him, and you weren't there to see his fall from grace, but I knew you would have wanted me to look after him so, I did."
Gratitude filled her heart, "Thank you," Spencer said honestly, "In turn, you got a kingdom."
Val snorted, "A shitty one that needs to be broken down and rewritten."
"Well, you'll do a lovely job in whipping these people into shape," She mused to her friend.
Val gave her a grin, "I love your confidence in me,"
It was her turn to snort in amusement, "I've never doubted you a day in my life since I've met you, Val." They were rounding a corner that led them into a large plaza, filled with people. Spencer's heart lurched in her chest, as Val went quiet, and the world seemed to go quiet, too.
Because in the center of this plaza was a giant marble fountain.
Guarded beautifully by Odin and Freya.
Flanking Odin's left was Sif, Heimdall, Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun.
Flanking Freya's right was Loki and…herself.
Loki's statue had his arms crossed, an expression of annoyance on his face as he looked at her statue. Her own statue had a grin on her face, arms crossed in mockery of Loki, and her hip jutting out. The statues were made of pristine gold, and the likeliness was…astounding.
Her expression slackened in awe, eyes drinking in her statue and Loki's before moving towards Heimdall and Sif's, and she had to scream at herself internally to not break-down. Asgardians had been placing flowers and candles at the base and had begun to part as Val guided Spencer closer to the fountain. There were other warriors that she wasn't familiar flanking her statue, but her eyes remained glued on Loki's statue.
Because that wound would never heal.
There were a lot of wounds that she knew would never heal.
She gazed at his statue with fondness and grief, and as she arrived at the base of his statue, she couldn't help but to smile through her tears, "You got the shining, gold statue you always whined about," She murmured, as if he could hear her. There was a pressure in her chest, an ache that would never cease to exist, and the more she stared at the statue of her annoying friend, the greater the pressure became.
She reached to touch the statue, and she felt her heart burst in her chest.
A flurry of energy burst through her as the life-forces residing within her seemed to react violently in most beautiful way. Rings of Red, Gold, and Purple pulsed from her, through the plaza, through the Asgardians who stood in awe at her, and through the territory of New Asgard, lush vegetation burst from the ground.
Asgard's life-force pulsed the brightest, as Earth's life-force worked the hardest to grow flora that Asgardians were familiar with. The ground shook in a rumble of a purr, a comforting sound as Spencer looked up into the sky, launched herself upwards, and was greeted by skyscraper-tall trees standing guard outside the town, flowers native to this part of the country sprouting easily, and a new liveliness had taken hold as she watched in complete awe at what she did.
In her moment of weakness, a moment of vicious grief, she did this.
The single road leading out of Asgard was blocked by gigantic trees, and the sky was cloudless now. She floated there, as the life-forces within her comforted her—as if telling her that they would always be there for her. She lifted a hand towards the sky, and she summoned the most powerful of her life-forces, Sakaar, to form a shield, and it was followed by Earth and Asgard. A sheet of thin red layer expanded far beyond the town before glowing brightly and disappearing, the other two life-forces followed suit.
Now, this sight was befitting of New Asgard—it was no longer a green, barren wasteland of endless hills. She smiled, because this is what New Asgard deserved.
When she floated back down, Asgardians were surrounding her with praises and cheers. Val stood off to the side with a smile on her face, shaking her head at the anomaly that was Spencer Rose Coulson. Spencer felt her heart a little lighter now, she was grinning, happy that she was able to do this one thing for this race of people whom she loved so dearly.
When her eyes landed on the two statues of herself and Loki, she smiled fondly at the sight of Loki's signature (and hideous) golden helmet with the horns on his statue's head, but it wasn't made from gold, it was made from vines and flowers. She could practically hear Loki's scathing voice in her mind, complaining that it wasn't glorious crown he deserved.
And for a moment, the ache in her heart lessened.
Once the celebration of what she had accomplished died down, which took a while considering farmers were crowing that the fields they had attempted to sow seeds in, had become lush and fertile for new crops to grow. While Val whisked her away from the awe and cheer of the crowds, Spencer took this moment to stare at her own hands, feeling the familiar tingle of energy thrumming through her blood, through her very bones, it felt.
It sometimes blew her own mind just how powerful she was.
She had so much power, could wield so much destruction in these hands.
She shivered at the dark thought, realizing that Val was quietly watching her, and as if her friend was reading her mind, spoke to her, "Your powers never cease to amaze me," Val gave a small smile, "I seriously pity the entity that dares incur your wrath."
A smile twitched on Spencer's lips, "Bucky thinks I could control space, too."
Val cocked an eyebrow at that with a thoughtful expression, "That makes you even more terrifying, better not let the bloody government find that out," Val mused, though there was some seriousness in her raspy voice. They came to a stop at a large, open field and it was here that Spencer noticed the increase of guards, but before she could ask why she was here—she heard the familiar whinny of her horse, Arwen.
Her electric blue eyes snapped towards the beauty of her mare, galloping towards her with those soulful brown eyes, and at her side was a foal. Her heart gave a shocked beat, and her eyes widen in disbelief at not only the foal that looked near identical to Arwen, but the fucking wings tucked into the sides of the young foal.
Her eyes caught the sight of Aragorn—the noble, winged steed that Val had rode into battle. The large stallion was trotting lazily behind Arwen and the foal, blue eyes searching for danger as his ears flickered and his tail swished.
The only notable difference between the foal and Arwen were the eyes—Arwen had soulful, brown eyes and the foal had blue eyes that were obviously from Aragorn. The irony was not lost on Spencer at all, and she fought a laugh as Arwen whinnied again as the mare neared the fence. She laughed, seeing the rueful, but relieved look in Arwen's eyes as Spencer reached her hand affectionately up and down the side of her head as they pressed their foreheads together.
Arwen snorted and nickered in an almost accusing manner; it made her laugh.
"You've been busy while I've been gone," She murmured, still stroking her mare's face.
Arwen blew in her face, before pulling away and giving her foal an affectionate nip. The foal whinnied back in retort before Spencer squatted down to pet the pretty foal, "So, when did this happen?" She asked as the foal shoved their face into her waiting hand, trusting her as Arwen had.
Val was leaning against the fence; Arwen's ears went flat before she nipped at Val.
Val, seemingly used to Arwen's bitchiness, smirked down at her, "Thor was the one who wanted Arwen and Pippin here," Spencer perked up at the mention of Tony's gelding, "He's probably grazing with the herd," Val squinted her eyes into the distance, "But since Tony was busy focusing on building his family with Pepper, they agreed that Arwen and Pippin would enjoy roaming the safety of our lands than coped up in his stables."
"And Aragorn?"
Val clicked her tongue towards Aragorn, and the large, majestic stallion trotted over to the Queen with an affectionate nicker, "Bruce and I did some experimenting."
Spencer cocked an eyebrow in disapproval.
"Of course, without harming the damn horse, Spence," Val rolled her eyes with exasperation, "Funnily enough, it was your Speedster who suggested I watch Lord of the Rings. He was checking up on Thor, trying to get Thor out of his destructive coping mechanisms," Val waved her hand dismissively, "Admirable of your Speedster but under Thor's drunken encouragement, I watched the movie, and honestly fell in love with it."
It was one of those rare moments where Spencer witnessed Val with a genuine, sincere smile, "Have you seen the Hobbit?" Spencer questioned gleefully.
Val's smile turned into a smirk, "No, I've been holding out on watching it," she says this vaguely.
Spencer cocks an eyebrow at the very subtle vagueness, "And?" She pressed her friend with an eye roll.
"Speedster said it was your favorite movie to watch with Steve," Val speaks quietly, a distant expression on her face, "It felt almost wrong to watch it." The tone in her voice gave Spencer the impression that, that was the end of that conversation, as if Val refused to give insight of her true feelings. Spencer wasn't upset or offended by it, because at the end of the day, Val deserved the privacy of her emotions. She was a warrior and expressing feelings all the time wasn't something she seemed comfortable with yet.
"How about we watch it tonight?" She suggested, nudging Val's shoulder softly.
There was a flash of gratitude in Val's eyes before it was washed away with excited eagerness, "Hell, yes." Val smirked and Spencer returned it with a grin of her own.
I'm still alive, lol. I apologize for the wait, I haven't had much inspiration or energy to put into fanfics as of late. I think this chapter was hard to write, don't really know why, but I managed to scrape something up, even though it took me three complete overhauls before I was satifised with this chapter. It isn't the best, but I thought it was endearing and cute to show the relationship between Spencer, Val, and the Asgardians.
Next chapter: Spencer finally pays her respects to Nat's grave in Ohio...and comes face-to-blade with Yelena.