Chapter 22
It was around 11:30 a.m. the following day, and the lunch bell had just rung. Double Dee was currently assisting the biology lab technician in restocking the lab, which would cause him to be a little over five minutes late for lunch. Kevin was standing with Nazz, flirting with her at her locker as she exchanged her morning books for the afternoon ones.
"So, we still on for tomorrow night?" asked Kevin smiling at Nazz, while he leaned his hand on the locker. Kevin had invited Nazz to come over his house on Friday night to watch a few movies. Of course, watching movies wasn't the only thing they'd be doing and Kevin had no problem with that.
Just then, Kevin heard a loud PSSST! come from behind him. He turned around, and saw Eddy's head leaning around the corner of the hallway. Eddy motioned him to come around the corner by flinging his head upwards. Kevin motioned his eyes toward Nazz and whispered.
"Not now dork." Said Kevin.
"I need to ask you something real quick." said Eddy.
Kevin sighed once again.
"I'll be right back, I need to talk to Eddy for a few minutes." said Kevin as he began walking toward Eddy, Nazz looked over his shoulder and saw Eddy's face.
"Alright then." said Nazz, slightly confused at what was going on.
Kevin rounded the corner to find Eddy standing with Ed leaning up against the wall. Eddy wasted no time. "
You didn't tell her did you?" asked Eddy.
"No, I thought it was supposed to be just between us four for now." replied Kevin.
"It is" said Eddy.
"Is that the only reason you brought me around here." asked a moderately annoyed Kevin.
"No, listen." said Eddy, "
The Sock Head is doing something nerdy in the science lab now, and he will be here in about five minutes, I say we all sit at the same table, and feel him out, play it cool. We'll ask him questions that will trip him up."
"You're lucky Nazz has cheerleading practice this period." said Kevin.
"Perfect," said Eddy with a grin on his face. "We'll get a confession in no time. Now remember, do not say anything about Marie. We have to get him to say it."
"Whatever man." said Kevin.
"I am hungry and want to eat." said Ed.
"Can we go to the lunch room now?"
"Alright lumpy, lets go grab a table and wait for Double Dee." said Eddy.
"Good!" yelled Ed, "I've been saving this to share with my best pals for over two weeks,"
Ed reached into his locker and pulled out a cake tray. He carefully pulled back the tin foil to reveal a moldy cake with gravy smeared over the top of it.
"It is my own special recipe, bon apetite." said Ed as he held the tray out to Eddy.
"Try it Eddy."
"No thanks Ed," said Eddy, trying to prevent himself from gagging at the smell of the moldy cake, "I want to save room for my lunch."
"Kevin." He said holding the tray out to Kevin. Kevin absorbed the smell of the cake, which immediately turned his stomach.
"No thanks Ed, I'm allergic to gravy." said Kevin, obviously lying.
"Oh well." said Ed shrugging his shoulders, "More for me!"
The two boys watched as Ed pulled a messy spoon out of his jacket pocket and began shoveling the cake into his mouth. Eddy and Kevin both had to turn away as they were becoming nauseous. Ed had finished all but a small morsel which he placed in his pocket, while he discarded the tray. "
All finished!" said Ed, after which he belched.
"Ed, you're an animal!" yelled Eddy as the boys walked into the cafeteria. There was a long line of students waiting to be served their food within the cafeteria. After a quick glance around the auditorium, Eddy noticed that the Kanker sisters were already seated at their usual table in the back of the lunchroom, enjoying their lunch. All three sisters were eating pizza. The boys stood in the doorway, trying to remain out of sight.
"Look, there they are." said Eddy, "And look, Marie has black hair, I told ya!"
There was a pause before Eddy continued.
"Alright boys, let's take that table there" said Eddy, he began leading his friends into the cafeteria.
As the boys walked into the cafeteria, Eddy noticed that Lee had glanced over at him. Eddy was surprised that even though Lee had seen him for the first time today, she didn't come over to harass him. May remained at her place as well, even though her Ed was within 20 feet of her. Eddy positioned all three boys so that they were facing the sisters. He periodically glanced at the Kankers, who were simply talking and occasionally taking bites out of their slices of pizza.
"Hello friends!" said the high pitched, foreign accented voice of Rolf. Rolf placed his brown paper bag down on the table next to Kevin, and proceeded to step over the bench seat to sit down. "Has the Double Dee Ed boy arrived yet?"
"Nope, that's who were waiting for." said Eddy, "He should be here any minute now."
Just then the doors to the cafeteria opened, and Double Dee entered, carrying his brown bag packed lunch.
"There he is, now play it cool, and remember what we said" said Eddy.
Double Dee scanned the entire cafeteria. The first person who came into view was his Marie, who locked eyes with him as well. Double Dee smiled at Marie as he walked down the aisle of tables towards where his friends were sitting. Unfortunately, he had to look away as to avoid being suspected, even though unbeknownst to him, their relationship was already exposed.
Double Dee finally reached the table and put his lunch down.
"Greetings friends, how are you on this fine day of learning?" asked Double Dee
"Great Sock Head." replied Eddy, "Take a seat, stay a while."
Double Dee sat down at the table and began pulling his lunch out of his bag. He glanced across the room at the Kankers table. His eyes caught Maries, and they found themselves once again smiling at each other.
Eddy spent no time before jumping into the juicy details.
"So how's Maryanne?" he asked with a grin on his face.
Double Dee stopped chewing his sandwich and placed it on the table, he was not expecting a question like that at this very moment. He completely froze up.
"Maryanne is doing perfectly fine." said Double Dee, breaking a sweat.
"Yeah, we saw her…." Ed began speaking about the previous night, almost blowing the whole operation, until Eddy cut him off.
"Ed, don't you have some of your cake, you want Double Dee to try?" asked Eddy
"Oh boy, I do!" yelled Ed, as he pulled the small piece of leftover gravy cake out of his pocket.
"Here you go Double Dee." said Ed as he placed the cake toward his nose. Double Dee winced back as the aroma hit his nose.
"No thank you Ed," said Double Dee, "While I am honored by your donation of your last piece of cake, I cannot take the last of your lunch as….."
Double Dee was cut off as Eddy stole the cake out of Ed's hand and shoved the piece into Double Dees mouth. Double Dees face immediately turned green. Double Dee quickly stood up and ran out of the cafeteria, on his way to the bathroom to vomit.
"Phew, that was close." said Eddy, "Ed you idiot, you almost blew the whole thing! When he comes back, keep your big mouth shut!"
In short, Double Dee never came back. He spent the next five minutes vomiting over the toilet on the boy's bathroom. After we was sure that he felt better, he decided to hang out away from the cafeteria as to avoid any more questioning from his friends about his personal life. Although he was sure to raise suspicion by doing so, he didn't want his horrible social skills to be his downfall.
Eventually, the bell rang, and lunch was over, prompting Double Dee to continue on to his next class.
The rest of the day passed rather quickly, as before he knew it, Double Dee was at his locker, preparing to leave the school. At this moment, Eddy and Ed both approached him, Ed looked quite disheartened.
"Hey, Double Dee, ya feeling better?" asked Eddy
"For your information, Eddy, I am feeling better. I was quite sure that you had almost given me food poisoning during lunch period today. By the way Eddy, would you mind telling me why you shoved a piece of moldy cake down my throat without my permission!" yelled Double Dee.
"Hey, someone had to do it, and it happened to be you. We didn't want to hurt Eds feelings now would we?" said Eddy laughing.
Double Dee glanced over at Ed, who was looking rather melancholy.
"Whats the matter Ed?" asked Double Dee.
"Me and Ed got detention for not finishing our math homework, stupid teacher." said Eddy as Double Dee finished up at his locker and began walking toward the door.
"And Mr. Diskin said he's going to call my mom!" Ed yelled in fear.
"You're not the only one Ed, now I am probably going to wind up being grounded again, all because of stupid…." Eddy caught himself blaming his detention on Double Dee and Marie's relationship before he abruptly stopped.
"You were saying Eddy?" asked Double Dee. "Stupid algebra, who the hell needs matrixes." Yelled Eddy as he stopped at the door to the classroom where his detention was to be held.
"Eddy, I believe the correct way to pluralize matrix, is matrices." said Double Dee as he stopped to finish talking to Eddy.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, either way it's all just a load of crap." said Eddy, "Alright Double Dee, I'll catch you on the flip side, if we're late we have to come again tomorrow.
"Alright gentlemen, I will see you later, take care now." said Double Dee as he continued down the hall
. "Easy for you to say." grumbled Eddy under his breath.
Eddy opened the door to the classroom, and entered while still turned around talking to Ed.
"Alright let's get this over with," said Eddy casually as he strolled into the classroom. He turned around to look for a seat. As he did, his eyes widened in horror, as did Ed's, when they saw a familiar face sitting in the middle of the classroom.
"Hey little man, why don't you come sit next to me?" said the gruff voice of Lee Kanker.
Eddy groaned as he sat down two seats away from Lee, Ed sitting directly next to him on the opposite side.
"So what are ya in for hot stuff?" asked Lee.
"Not turning in math homework." said Eddy, what do you care anyway.
"Hey, can't a girl just ask a question without getting lip." said Lee.
"Why are you here?" asked Eddy.
"I got caught cutting sixth period." she responded gruffly.
Eddy was not surprised.
"May and Marie were too chicken to do it, and I didn't feel like bein' there, so I left, got a problem with it shrimp?" Lee looked over into Eddy's face with an intimidating stare.
Eddy had forgotten about Marie and Double Dee's relationship up until Lee had just mentioned her sister's names. A metaphorical light bulb lit up in Eddy's head; he had an idea.
"Never mind that, I got a question to ask you." said Eddy
. "Sure I wanna make-out." replied Lee already anticipating Eddys question, laughing hysterically.
"Cut the crap, this is serious, has your sister Marie been acting differently lately?" asked Eddy.
Lee froze where she was. It was true, Marie had been behaving rather oddly for the past week or so, including the fact that all of the sudden, May had done her shopping and managed to buy the wrong hair dye after four straight years of buying the right stuff every time. Lee, being as street smart as Eddy, even more so, began to suspect that the Eddy had a secret, and the Ed's had something to do with Maries deviant behavior.
"A'ight, you got my attention." said Lee. "She has been acting weird ya know, like leavin the trailer at night all the time, and claiming that she had went clubbing, which she had never done before. I believe that crap as far as I could throw her."
Lee paused,
"So whadya know?" she asked.
"Well, it just so happens that the 'club' that she is going to happens to be Double Dees house." said Eddy grinning.
"What are ya sayin?" said Lee as she looked over at Eddy.
"I'm saying, that for the last week, you're sister has been dating my best friend!" said Eddy.
"Bullshit." said Lee,
"She's probably doin him, but she definitely ain't dating him." said Lee, following it up with a snicker.
"Oh really." said Eddy as he reached into Ed's jacket pocket and pulled out the picture of Double Dee and held it out to Lee.
"Check this out."
"It's a picture of the dweeb, so what?" said Lee.
"Read the bottom." said Eddy.
Lee quickly read the signature and writing at the bottom of the picture before placing it down on her desk.
"What else ya got that proves that they're an item?" asked Lee in a quiet voice.
"Well, one Ed caught Marie headed back to your place on Tuesday night all dolled up like a girl coming home from Double Dees house. That's where we found this picture after she accidentally dropped it. And two, we saw Marie in bed with Double Dee in his room last night in the dark."
The realization hit Lee. Her clever mind put all of the puzzle pieces together in a few seconds.
Marie had dyed her hair herself, to make a good impression on Double Dees parents. The blouse and leggings she had seen in the wash were from that night; Marie must have changed out of them to hide them from her. The food that Marie had claimed to have picked up from the town restaurant on the way home with her allowance was actually a gift from Double Dee.
It was then that she realized May was acting quite strange the night Marie came home with the food from Double Dees as well. She came to the conclusion that May was in on the secret as well. Lee was quite furious, for many reasons, but most of all, for being lied to and deceived.
"THAT BITCH!" yelled Lee as she pounded her fists on her desk. Eddy and Ed were taken aback. The chaperone of the detention gave 'Ms. Kanker' a warning before returning to grading his papers.
"She was lying to me and going behind my back this whole time, she's lucky I can't go right home after this, or I'd pulverize her." said Lee as she clenched her fists.
"Easy Lee." said Eddy, in a semi nervous tone.
"And you bird brain!" yelled Lee in a whisper, "You should have told your friend to stay away from my sister! She can't be going around bein' attached to one man!"
"Well, tell your sleezy sister to keep her hands off of my friend!" yelled Eddy.
The two remained in silence for a few minutes, groaning in anger. Ed sat confused at the events that were transpiring.
"We have to do something, Eddy." said Lee, Eddy was taken aback that she had actually called him Eddy, instead of short stuff, or a similar nickname to insult his short stature.
"Yeah," said Eddy, "And I know just what to do."
"You're not callin the shots here buddy boy!" said Lee, "I'm in charge!"
"What makes you so high and mighty." said Eddy annoyed.
"Because I am high and mighty, now listen to me before I knock your face in!" said Lee as she made a fist at Eddy's face. Eddy sighed.
"Okay, now here's what we are gonna do. I don't get home till late tonight for certain reasons, but when I do I'm gonna grab May, and get whatever I can out of her." said Lee.
"Why May, what's she got to do with this." said Eddy.
"She knows about it dipshit," said Lee, "I can tell by the way that she's been acting. Marie must have told her behind my back. I just have to get some reassurance that my little theory is correct before I continue on with the plan." Lee sneered
"And what's the plan since your calling all the shots, Einstein" asked Eddy.
"Don't test me pea brain." said Lee before she continued, "When the story checks out, we're gonna grab Marie, tie her to a chair, and take her to the junkyard. You and your idiot friends will do the same for Double Dork. Then, when we're all together, we'll get everything settled right then and there. How's that strike ya?"
Eddy was fuming that he couldn't have come up with a plan like that before Lee had beat him to the punch. Nevertheless, he reluctantly agreed to ally with Lee in order to stop what he thought was an abomination.
"Alright, so what time are we doin this?" asked Eddy
"Have him in the junkyard at midnight." said Lee, "That is unless your mommy says you can't be out that late." Lee began laughing.
"Oh I'll be there Lee, we all will don't you worry." replied Eddy.
The detention had been served, and by now it was already time for the kids to make their way home. Lee obviously had to go to work with her mother until around 11:00 that night, but Ed and Eddy were free to do as they pleased. As the group walked out the front door, Lee and the two Eds parted ways.
"Remember, midnight!" said Lee gruffly.
Eddy gave her the thumbs up sign as they parted ways. Thus began a simple truce between the outspoken and rough ginger haired Kanker and the short loudmouthed Ed boy, even though it would only be for one day.
As Ed and Eddy began their walk home, Double Dee was once again preparing for a night with Marie. He had been sure to wash his pajamas he was wearing from the other night in secret, due to them being soiled during the intense time he had with Marie. Double Dee had no idea of the surprise Lee had in store for him and his girlfriend that night.