Chapter 34
It was 9:00 a.m. Sunday morning, and all of the boys were sleeping in Ed's basement room after spending most of the night playing video games, and eating pizza. Double Dee was sleeping peaceful within his well kept sleeping bag, while Kevin and Rolf laid on the floor as if they had passed out. Eddy had fallen asleep in Ed's armchair, leaning on the armrest. Ed himself was sleeping on his beat up mattress, which was covered with comic books and stains of various food condiments. The television remained on all night, displaying an old monster flick, as none of the boys had even thought of turning it off before falling asleep.
Their peaceful sleep was soon interrupted by Ed's bedroom door slamming open. Everyone was awoken from their dreams, and the boys were extremely groggy due to not receiving enough sleep.
"ED!" yelled Sarah who was standing in the doorway with Jimmy, "Wake up!"
All of the boys groaned at the sound of Sarah's voice.
"Since dads away on business, Mom wants you and your idiot friends to put dirt down and pull weeds so that she can get ready to grow her flowers!" yelled Sarah .
All of the boys roused up, still confused at what was going on.
"And if you're not out there in five minutes, I'm telling on you!" yelled Sarah as she slammed the door to Ed's room shut.
Ed coaxed all of his friends out of their sleeping positions and after a quick change of clothes, the tired boys were all assisting Ed in the yard. Well almost everyone; Eddy and Kevin decided to relax on the chairs that were set up around Ed's deck table while the other three boys worked.
"Hey Sock Head missed a spot!" yelled Eddy grinning jokingly with Kevin.
"Haha Eddy," replied Double Dee sarcastically, "I suppose it would be too much to ask for the great Eddy McGee to assist in a task of manual labor."
Eddy and Kevin laughed.
"Oh sure, keep laughing Eddy," said Double Dee, "Can you even comprehend the work it will take to remove these grass stains? Not to mention the unhygienic propertie…."
Double Dee was cut off
"No time for this tom foolery from lazy good for nothings, slim in the body, but smart in the head Ed-Boy." yelled Rolf as he grabbed Double Dees hand pulling him to the far side of Ed's yard, the spot where Ed's mother's garden would eventually occupy in the spring.
"While Rolf and the oafish Ed boy tend to the weeds, you shall spread the soil of fertility." Said Rolf as he placed a wheelbarrow of soil in front of Double Dee and handed him a shovel.
Double Dee sighed as he began shoveling soil out of the wheelbarrow and spreading it along the area where the garden would be.
As he shoveled the soil into the garden pit, Double Dee heard the familiar voices of Marie and her sisters in the distance from over Ed's fence. He glanced around the yard; Eddy and Kevin were in a fit of laughter, most likely at some form of dirty joke Eddy had told. Ed and Rolf were pulling weeds vigorously with their back turned to him, Rolf was cursing in Norwegian, specifically the Nynorsk dialect, as he did so, while Ed was pretending to rip the heads off of zombies.
Double Dee decided to sneak out the yard for a few minutes to attempt to find the source of the voices. He exited quietly out of Ed's yard through the gate and into the lane. As he walked toward the opposite fence, separating the trailer park from the lane, he began to hear the voices of the Kankers grow louder. They were arguing over who would do which part of the laundry. Double Dee couldn't help but smile at hearing Marie's voice, as well as chuckle at the girls arguing over such a pointless manner .
After a few seconds, of listening, a voice that Double Dee had never heard before filled the air, ordering the sisters to stop fighting. The voice had the exact same intonation as Marie's voice; however the pitch of the voice sounded strikingly similar to Mays, minus the adenoidal inflections.
Double Dee's curiosity caused him to climb to the top of the fence to identify the source of the unfamiliar voice. As he glanced over the fence, the girls came into view. May was just leaving the trailer door carrying a large pile of clothes towards a small tub filled with water. Marie was washing clothes in the tub with a washboard and appeared to be exerting herself. Lee was washing the windows of the trailer with a sponge as well as spraying the rest of the caravan down with a garden hose that appeared to be drawing its water from underneath the trailer.
Double Dee glanced over toward the clothes line and saw someone he had never seen before. There was a woman hanging garments onto the line. Each time she turned to grab an item of clothing, Double Dee caught a glimpse of her face. The woman appeared to be around her mid thirties. She was semi-overweight, but her weight was mostly concentrated in her hips and buttocks. She was wearing sweat pants, and a black tank top, even though it was a cold February morning. A cigarette protruded from her mouth, the end of it glowing every time she took a puff.
The most striking feature of the woman was that her face was adorned with freckles just as the Kanker sisters faces were. The shapes of her eyes resembled Marie, while her facial structure as a whole was strikingly similar to May's, minus the prominent overbite. Her hair was the same texture and color as Lee's, but the woman's red curls hung down past her shoulders and were long enough to flow in the wind.
From Double Dee's observation point, he could make out that the woman had a large tattoo on her upper right arm. The tattoo consisted of the two masks next to one another, one with a happy, expression and one with a saddened expression; a common symbol of the performing arts. Underneath that particular tattoo were the words "Laugh now, cry later". As the woman turned around, Double Dee noticed that there was a tattoo in the same spot on her other arm as well. This particular tattoo consisted of a pair of ballet shoes strung together. Underneath this tattoo was another quote that Double Dee could barely make out at first glance: "I dance for the perfect moments that lie in the most imperfect steps."
There were other tattoos that consisted of words that were too small for Double Dee to make out on her lower arms. The woman certainly did cut an imposing figure, and Double Dee was slightly intimidated by her.
"Hey Mom, where do ya want these?" asked May carrying the clothes over towards where Marie was sitting.
Double Dee was speechless; he had laid eyes for the first time of the Kanker sister's mother, and he was probably the only person in the neighborhood, besides the denizens of the trailer park, to ever see her. He certainly did not expect the Kankers mother to look as intimidating as she did. He began to wonder if her personality matched her appearance. If it so happened that she acted as tough as she looks, Double Dee would be afraid to even step foot near her.
As Double Dee was left with his thoughts, the cross beam he was using to brace himself up on the fence snapped and caused him to begin plummeting toward the ground. Luckily, he was able to grab the top of the fence and hold himself up.
His lucky break was not without consequence however, as the snapping sound was heard by the entire Kanker family, who gazed toward the fence to find the source of the sound. They turned their heads and met eye to eye with a frightened Double Dee.
"Look Marie, it's Double Dee!" yelled May in her obnoxious voice. Marie looked into Double Dees eyes. As soon as their eyes met, both boy and girl smiled from ear to ear at the sight of each other's face.
"Hey Double Dee." said Marie in an excited voice.
"Hello Marie," said Double Dee struggling to hold himself up on the fence. Marie giggled.
"Well don't just stand there Marie, bring him over here!" yelled Lee.
Marie paused for a second after Lees' statement. This moment would mark the first time that her mother had ever met one of her friends, let alone her first real boyfriend. She was quite nervous, as was Double Dee who was still clinging to the fence blushing. Marie knew what she had to do.
"Come on over Double Dee!" yelled Marie smiling.
Double Dee hesitated before hopping over the brown fence and into the trailer park. Marie met him halfway and grabbed his hand, holding it as they walked back toward the trailer. Lee and May watched with grins on their faces as Marie walked Double Dee over towards her mother.
At this point, Ms. Kanker had turned around to face the couple. The cigarette that was in her mouth was now being held between the index and middle finger of her right hand as she sat down in a decrepit lawn chair.
"Mom." said Marie as she and a very nervous Double Dee walked up to the chair she was sitting in. "This is my boyfriend, Edd."
Double Dee was shocked that she was comfortable enough to say the word boyfriend. He blushed as he looked into the Kanker's mothers eyes. To his surprise, they appeared cheerful. Her face was adorned with a smile as well.
"Good day Ms. Kanker," said Double Dee rather nervously as he held out his hand to shake her hand, "It is a pleasure to meet you."
Double Dee was not met with a handshake, but a hug from the Kankers mother. As they conversed, Double Dee had learned that the Kankers mother's personality embodied all of the prominent traits that she had passed on to her children, such as Lee's bizarre sense of humor, Marie's spontaneous personality, and May's absentmindedness. In addition, he could finally make out the smaller tattoos that were located on her lower arm. On the outside of her lower right arm about three inches lower than her elbow joint, was the word "Annalee". There was another tattoo on the same arm but located above her wrist. This tattoo was of the word "Annemarie". Lastly, her lower left arm contained a solitary tattoo of the word "Annamae".
Double Dee was able to nervously converse with the Kankers mother and her sisters for a few minutes, at which point the voice of Rolf rang through the air.
"The soil has been shamed!" yelled Rolf's voice, "Curse that lazy good for nothing Double Dee Ed boy!"
"What is that about?" asked Marie as she laughed, as her mother began hanging clothes once again
"I'm so sorry, but I really must be getting back to Ed's yard. We have yard work to finish for Ed's mother." said Double Dee.
"Okay sweetie." whispered Marie. She glanced over at her mother and saw that she was turned around fiddling with the clothes line. Marie took advantage of this opportunity to lean in and kiss Double Dee on the lips.
"Have fun with your yard work." said Marie as she smiled. "Looks like you have some work cut out for you as well."
Double Dee bid quickly farewell to Marie, Lee, May, and Ms. Kanker. He ran back towards the fence and hopped over it, after which he quickly raced for the gate to Ed's yard.
Upon re entering the yard, Double Dee noticed Rolf angrily moving the soil that he was supposed to spread. Kevin and Eddy were still lollygagging on the deck, while Ed stood absentmindedly as Rolf worked with the soil. Rolf glanced up and noticed Double Dee.
"ED BOY!" yelled Rolf, "Do you not have ears? Did Rolf not ask you to do the simple chore of laying soil."
"I'm truly sorry Rolf," said Double Dee, "Johnny had showed up outside of the gate with a question regarding arboreal studies. I couldn't bear to deny him of an adequate rebuttal."
Double Dee had obviously lied to cover his own personal negligence to Rolf's task. Rolf stood confused for a few seconds before breaking the silence.
"Johnny the wood boy?" asked Rolf quietly.
"Why yes, Johnny 2x4." said Double Dee.
"The son of a shepherd has been made a fool of for the last time!" yelled Rolf as he ran out of Ed's yard, on his way to find Johnny, for whatever reason that may be.
Double Dee felt terrible that he had just unwittingly put Johnny into a confrontation with Rolf; however he knew that Johnny's annoying tendencies and cheerful demeanor would eventually win Rolf over in the long run.
Double Dee and Ed finished surfacing the soil together and eventually joined Kevin and Eddy on Ed's deck.
"All tasks have been accomplished." said Double Dee, "The weeds are cut and the soil is evenly distributed, perfect for Ed's mothers future garden." said Double Dee.
"Phew that was hard work!" said Eddy as he and Kevin stood up from their chairs. Double Dee couldn't help but become a little irritated at the irony of Eddy's last statement.
"Let's all wash up, and then we'll meet and go shoot some hoops." said Eddy smiling.
"Righteous." said Kevin.
"I know I am in desperate need of a shower." said Double Dee as he glanced down towards his hands, horrified by the filth they were covered in.
"Cool," said Eddy, "Let's meet up in a half hour."
All of the boys split up and headed towards their homes. Double Dee ran home especially fast; he quickly ran into his house, up the stairs and into his bathroom. He stripped all of his clothes off, throwing them in the laundry hamper and grabbed a towel from the linen closet. As soon as he closed the diverter valve of the shower, the warm water hit his flesh and his mind was at ease knowing that all of the filthy bacteria were in the process of being washed off of his body.
As he bathed, he thought about his encounter with Marie and her sisters. He could not actually believe that he had meet the Kankers mother. Not only that, but she was quite a friendly individual. Double Dee chuckled as he thought of the phrase that he had corrected Ed on the previous day "Don't judge a book by it's cover". The proverb couldn't have been any more true.
As he thought about their meeting, he could only hope that Tabby Kanker had liked him, even though she notoriously hated men, and had not trusted them. Either way, he was truly happy to see Marie and to be able to give her a kiss.
A few minutes went by and Double Dee had determined himself free of germs. He shut the water off, wrapped a towel around his waist and walked down the hallway to his room. Upon reaching his room, he dropped the towel, and slid a pair of white-striped boxer shorts onto his waist. He slipped on a pair of blue pants, and pulled his favorite red shirt over his head. Last but not least, he brushed what little hair he had left on his head, and promptly covered his scarred cranium with his ski hat. Double Dee then ran out of his bedroom door and down the stairs to rejoin his friends at the basketball court.