This chapter is from the view of Wadsworth. (Hopefully that won't be an issue for publication either, but if it is I can rework it to hint that it's him instead.) For a while I imagined Wadsworth would pack up and head out at the end of "The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows". However, this made Willie Loomis extremely sad, in fact he was crying. (Nope! Can't have that now, can we?)

I realized how much Wadsworth was coming to mean to Mr. Loomis. Wadsworth has the aristocratic element of Barnabas Collins, but is a man of service like Willie Loomis. Commonalities abound between Barnabas and Willie in Wadsworth. And besides, after all the good he's been doing for them, Barnabas Collins will be serving him one heck of a pension plan! (Collinsport is a protective place, anyway. Perhaps then those weirdos chasing down Wadsworth's life as Dr. Frank N Furter will finally leave him the ef alone.)

I was once asked why more than one servant at The Old House was necessary. I answered, "It's a mansion. There ought to be more than two!" ;)

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As you likely know, considering the long wait my employer, Barnabas Collins, has had in winning the heart of our mademoiselle, there has been much… erm… vigorous activity at The Old House. When Mr. Loomis and I first heard the racket we were certain it was more belated relatives come to haunt the premises. Then we heard what we were sure were voices we already knew… in ways we hadn't quite heard them before.

We listened at the stairs and then had some blemishing to do ourselves. I stepped to the door, intending to explore the old shed Ben Stokes of long ago had left in apt condition.

"Mr. Loomis," I said, "do you recall how to play Backgammon?"

He quickly followed me with the embarrassed but eager words, "I dunno and I don't care. Just show me how, an' I'll get the jist of it soon enough."

So, one can imagine that he's become quite proficient at the game of Backgammon what with all of the new ruckus going on lately. Many a long evening, or afternoon has been studious spent on the enjoyment of such trifles. It also helped to give me a good history of how battered Mr. Loomis had been before I arrived. There were times I was shaken to my foundations to hear what he'd suffered. Then I'd calm down remembering all he and I had been through. I could also smile again when I recalled the reason we had left The Old House, and the deep enjoyment our married couple were sharing at last.

One evening, the good doctor stepped toward us as we had just exited the front doors.

"Where are you two off to?" She asked, not so interrogatory as in previous years, though seeing our faces, she did have a more stolid curiousity than usual.

"Well, Doctor Hoffman," Mr. Loomis stammered, "we've been takin' to playin' a lot of Backgammon in the old shed lately and were just going off there again. Want to, um… well, join us?"

"No, thank you," she answered, "I wanted to see—"

"Oh, well," I interrupted, blocking the door. She interposed that familiar look of suspicion I'd gotten so used to in earlier days, "Now is not the best time, I believe."

"Oh?" she asked, lengthening the word, "what are you two hiding from me?"

"Heh! Nothing," said Mr. Loomis, "it's more like what we're hiding out from!"

"Well," she asked, folding her arms and raising her chin with that penetrating gaze of hers, "there is something that's unnerved you two and I aim to…"

That was when a sharp cry came from an upstairs window.

"What in heavens was THAT?" she demanded, dropping her arms and looking up in attempt to locate the calamity.

"Well… ya… ya see, Doctor Hoffman," answered Mr. Loomis, "they're kind of busy."

"What? Have those two got some poor victim up there or something? Who are they after?"

"Each other," I said, at last.

"Oh… oh? Oh!" said our doctor, beginning a long nod and then an incredulous peer, placing and impatient hand on her waist, "oh, good lord… AGAIN?"

"Yep!" nodded Mr. Loomis, a smirk cast on his visage.

Doctor Hoffman sighed in exasperation, "I know it's been a long time for him but this is ridiculous! When are they going to leave each other alone?"

"Heh," laughed Mr. Loomis, "maybe we should purchase some cows so they can come home."

Doctor Hoffman scoffed, "Sheesh! And I thought the Professor was repressed the way he's been pawing ME! Not that I mind… wait… forget I said that."

"We WILL," I answered, "besides, Mr. Collins isn't the one who's always making the advances."

"You mean… it's HER? Is she trying to wreck the old man or what? I must say I'm thankful that I'm NOT a gynecologist!"

"A what?" Mr. Loomis inquired, not hearing.

"It doesn't matter," Doctor Hoffman exhaled, "Still, why always at night? If they're worried about getting sunburned in their oddly immortal condition why not do this kind of thing during the day?"

"The cellar isn't exactly the most romantic place in the world… especially for her." I answered.

"Tell me about it!" Mr. Loomis echoed the sentiment.

"Well, can't they get lead curtains or something?" she suggested, impatiently.

"Oh, yes, Madam," I said, "I've already ordered some darker ones, at least."

"Good! I hope David hasn't been over to hear any of that noise." She stated.

"Well," Mr. Loomis chuckled, "he just thought they was jumping around on the furniture and I have to tell ya, I wasn't about to correct the fella."

"Trust you for that, Willie!" said the doctor, "I just don't understand where she's gets such an appetite for all of it."

"Perhaps because she's young?" I suggested.

"P'sh!" she responded, "or it's her previous life as a man getting mixed up with her feminine desire and taking a sky rocket through exploration."

"Are you going to prescribe a sedative?" I asked, which was likely more sarcastic than I proposed to say it.

"Hardly," she answered, annoyed, "they have GOT to run out of steam on this insanity."

"Why?" I asked, "don't you find it healthy?" I inquired.

"Healthy once in a while, heck even twice a day in some cases, but it's as if every time I come over to see either of them… they're always up there going at it!"

"Wanna leave a note?" Mr. Loomis giggled.

"What? Another one?" she asked, "No. And I doubt I could send a letter. I don't believe the postman comes by anymore after hearing that racket."

We stood around in the semi-silence, trying to pretend we heard nothing, even at that distance.

"So, how about it, Doctor Hoffman?" Mr. Loomis asked, "want to join in for a game of Backgammon?"

She sighed heavily and then straitened up, "You know? How about we go into town and I buy you gentlemen a beer or two. Then you can buy me something in kind. Sound like a plan?"

"Most agreeable, Madam."

"Sure, I'm game," said Mr. Loomis.

As this is a series of vignette style glimpses in what "happily ever after", or "relative contentment" might mean for the wedded couple at The Old House, this came out in some amused wondering of what those outside the relationship might experience. They'd likely be overhearing a couple exploring their two-century-long repression with each other.

And so, a certain amount of bemused commentary would be welcome. ^_^