Proof Positive

"Kitty, I know how frightened you are but you must believe this. I would never do anything to harm you. "

"Can you say as much for her?! … No, you can't! Because you know that both of us can't live. And if I stay here it'll be as Josette Dupres, a girl who died 100 years ago! That's why you've got to let me go—LET ME GO!"

"To go among strangers? Where no one will love you as you or Kitty? Or Josette? No. You must stay here and let me help you."

"Help me?"

"Will you marry me? ... Does that idea terrify you, too?"

"No… no… it doesn't, I… I understand somehow that… that's what I must do. Whoever I am…"

"Then you will marry me?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"As soon as possible."

"I'll arrange for the wedding this evening."

"Yes! This evening!"

"Wait here… until I return-"

"NO! I'm afraid."

"There's no reason. No harm will come to you here."

Barnabas Collins And Kitty Soames

Dark Shadows, Episode 884, written by Violet Welles

I was lying in bed after some detestable dry-heaves. Truly, I believed accepting this new life as an immortal being, however easier in this form than we'd learned of most, would at least leave me in a happier state if I ever became, what our friend Julia was giving us the news of.

"Would you like the good news, Maggie?" she smiled as she took a seat next to my bedside, Barnabas standing close with his hand wrapped around mine.

"Good news would certainly be better than the sickness I've been feeling," I told her with some exhaustion.

"Well," Dr. Hoffman breathed, her teeth shining brightly through her happy expression, "if plain old human tests can tell us anything about this, you are... with child."

Barnabas squeezed my hand and I squeezed it back, but I had to give a throaty laugh, "Oh, I had better be! I'd hate to think I'd gone through all those dry heaves for nothing, Dr. Hoffman."

"Congratulations, Josette Dupres," Julia said looking down and looking up again, "You're about to bring another Collins into this world."

"Ah," my husband uttered, "not another, I'm sure. But one we've known before."

Dr. Hoffman's face dropped from cool breeziness to promote confusion. Plenty of that has been seen in my bedroom, I'm sure.

"What's that, Barnabas? You don't want-"

"Dr. Hoffman," I explained, "she won't be only a Collins and she won't be new."

Her hair seemed to become a more brazen shade of red. That peering, almost wince like look pinched her face, "What are you talking about? You two are looking very knowingly at me and at each other. You can't know who this child is going to turn out to be already!"

"But we do, Julia," Barnabas told her, "we've known from the night we conceived her. It will be... Sarah."

Dr. Hoffman almost scoffed, but was much gentler than that, "OH! Now I've heard everything! Did I really go through all of the trouble to make sure the tests were accurate at the hospital only to have the both of you know all along what was going to come of it?"

I smiled, happy now at her confusion, "Not it, Dr. Hoffman... Her."

Dr. Hoffman stood up, analyzed the carpet and then looked at us, still holding hands, Barnabas standing, I lying down, "Well, considering it's you, Josette Dupres Reincarnated, I suppose you have the knack for interpreting life with the type of method to make it come out just the way you prefer. I sure wasn't clear what on Earth was going on when I instigated that regression therapy and brought you back to us."

"It was the right thing, Doctor Hoffman," I winked, "believe me."

She laughed and folded her arms, then looked at my husband, "Barnabas Collins... you must be feeling more joy than you ever expected when you came into this century."

"I do," he admitted, letting go of my hand and walking towards her, "but it's much more wonderful to have it by allowing it to reach me, than forcing the issue as I'd gotten used to doing. Finally receiving my bride and my little one back to me? I could never ask for more... but," he took her hands, "having good friends to add to that joy can't harm it, can it?"

Dr. Hoffman blinked and smiled again, "No, it can't."

Then they embraced and it brought such a lift to my heart that my previous nausea had virtually disappeared. They released and as Julia Hoffman bent down for her handbag a clink sounded on the carpet. Barnabas bent down to pick up what had fallen.

"Ah," he grinned, "your engagement ring, Julia? You don't want to lose that... do you?"

She took it from him with a fine smirk, "Hardly. I suppose I should get it re-sized."

"Why not have Mr. Loomis do that for you?" I suggested, "He still puzzles why Professor Stokes hadn't hired him to create it."

"Oh," Julia simpered, "he had his chance to make the wedding rings and he was too busy. And Willie's been told time and again that my Eliot wanted to keep the whole thing a surprise. There are more than enough big ears around here to have spoiled it. But... I never told him I wasn't all that surprised when he proposed. I was easily able to hide that with my elation at his timing."

"Well," Barnabas brought his chin down, "see Willie before you leave and ask him to re-size the ring."

"I will... that and re-sizing our professor's ring as well. He's gotten quite trim these days."

I could imagine what activity that came from but I kept it to myself and told her, "Still, we're glad you kept your name in doctorate, Julia."

"Well," she expounded, "I sure as hell wasn't going to go through altering every diploma I ever earned for the sake of being more Stokes than I already am. I've come to understand that part of my strength has always been in being a Hoffman, maiden or married."

"I often felt that it was," my husband admitted.

"Thank you, Barnabas. And Margaret Dupres... thank you. I can see where keeping a last name, or in your case, reclaiming one is of richer wealth than diamonds. I suppose other women feel that way about assuming the name of the husbands they marry."

"But you are happy, Doctor Hoffman, aren't you?" I asked, in quick concern.

Julia coursed the strap of her purse around her hand to dangle by her elbow and turned to me, "Oh, yes, Maggie. You know... Eliot does this little thing I adore. He doesn't kiss me on the cheek or the ear but this spot in between... Something there tells me that Eliot knows me more than I ever hoped a man could," she faltered and made an attempt to scoff at her swift approach at this revelation, "I suppose it was bold of me to confess that so openly."

"No," I almost exclaimed, "no... Julia... it's very sweet, and not half so much because... I know what you mean."

Dr. Hoffman nodded with a smile and began stepping to the door. When her hand reached the knob she faced my husband again, leant down her chin and looked up, "Barnabas? I know you will show the utmost care... but since we're all here in this room there is something I can safely express to you both. If you thought you had passion before, you ought to watch out. A pregnant wife has far more sensitive urges than you can possibly imagine."

My grin was visible but neither of them were looking at me. Dr. Hoffman and I were looking at Barnabas. His face fell in both consternation and awe. He was worried, and lost between misgivings and wonder. After all we'd achieved, what heights of glory could be suspected on this deeper level? I subdued my inner laughter and wondered myself. I felt my nausea subsiding and... I knew she was right.

Dr. Hoffman opened the door, exited and when the door shut, Barnabas stepped forward, turned to me, holding the railing of my bed as if for support.

"Did she mean that, Josette?" he queried, a fair concern making his voice quaver slightly.

"You're asking if it's true, my dearest," I answered, "as far as I know it is."

He looked down, "I have fear," he confessed, "With how far we've come... I don't want to hurt you, or her."

"You can't, Barnabas," I comforted, "and you won't. You... my dear... are a listener when it comes to our family. You care about people. Deep down you always have. We know it will be thankful and precious from now on until my time is close. We know you mustn't be afraid. We love you. And you love us. You always have..."

His look became a questioning twinge, "Maggie, why do you keep saying 'We'?"

"Oh," I smiled, "I'm speaking for your daughter and I."

Dark lashes blinking, his hazel eyes widened and a display of strange delight opened his features. Standing over the bed he looked down and questioned, "What would you like right now, my beloved?"

Much had been overcome as I digested the news I understood to be true already. What would I like right now, he'd asked? I answered truthfully, "You."

He knelt before me, my hand in his and asked, "My bride? May I lay with you?"

"Please do," I answered, instant but gentle, "Please lay with me."

Barnabas rose and went to lock the door, walked back to stand beside where I lay. More elegance in his fingers and less fidgeting as many who live now tend to show. I moved over and welcomed him as he brought himself beside me. He often did this for me. I once found it strange, but then I discovered... when it came to me... he wanted no hold barred between us. (And, of course, I'd lost my nausea. So this surge of desire came naturally.)

Laying beside me, the evening sun waning in its light and the candles having been lit by him earlier, we had all the shadow and luminescence we needed. The back of his hand glided down my arm and reached my abdomen as he stared and said, "I wish to harm neither of you... my wife, nor my child... are you... sure?"

I had a very brief, but joyful giggle at this idea. I wasn't near so far along, this was the beginning, "Of course, I'm sure... you won't believe me to be... unattractive in the future... will you?" I told him this with my own self-assurance.

Barnabas was lifted on to his elbow now, stroking me, my torso, breast and stomach, looking and imagining a bulge that could not yet be seen.

"Maggie? Unattractive... to me?" he inquired lightly, and then looking at me and answering strongly, "Never... my love... never. Is that what women fear when they are with the child of the man they love?"

"Sometimes," I nodded, "but I with you? I quote you, Barnabas... never... never."

He brought his hand to my raised knee and then ran it's smoothness up my thigh, under my nightgown. I leant my head back on the pillows and extended this pleasure in humming moans. He was looking at me for my responses, I was sure. I could sense his enjoyment of them. Rare had been the time he'd touched me there with his hands.

Barnabas lifted this hand under my clothing and glided up across my navel, between my bosom, reaching for my neck and I had no fear. He would never strangle me again. Now his touches were serene, delicate, tender... and as he coiled me there in his fingers, he brought his mouth to join the flesh of my throat. As he kissed me along my neck and clavicle I closed my eyes and saw this same unity almost a year from now. His fascination and curiosity over where I was growing; Knowing the spirit of who we were welcoming to find us again: The spirit of his sister, our daughter, our child. The one who had taught us so much about trusting, about loving and being good. And now she was growing within me.

Sarah would be reborn... as I had been.

I kept breathing slowly, trying to keep from releasing too much noise. Then I glanced toward the door and remembered he'd locked it. Barnabas was so determined about that when it came to me. He always had been. His doing that before had frightened me. Now I adored it.

These large but delicate hands worked as his caution continued to allure me. I asked him, "Are you are afraid of me now?"

"No, Kitty," he called me out of turn, "you remember, I told you I would not let you go unloved as yourself, nor as the woman I hold dear, as far as you've come," his hand held me by the chin, "Do you remember my promise?"

My lips turned upward, unveiling my bliss "I've always remembered how hard you tried for me... my confusion ended long ago. Who would love me as Kitty or Josette or as myself?"

He'd cupped my jaw line to reach my lips and I welcomed this, opening my lips to his, sharing that soft and supple tasting of our flesh, and then the longing turned more extreme than I'd known before. I heard his thoughts receive this, knowing what I wanted... oh yes... how could he not be so perfect a father now that we shared communication beyond heart and mind? Barnabas would be all too aware of what I was going through in this experience. He was already an empathetic man, and now that empathy had grown.

Having slid in bed beside me, Barnabas lay there staring in the awe that never broke, gently gliding his hand down my neck, my center, almost floating over me, my yearning for him increased. The stroke of his fingers searching, exploring and releasing that shiver from me I'd cherished for years. Again he coursed along my abdomen which showed no visible signs but we knew...

Coming back to my head, our breathing in sync, detailing our desire, Barnabas exhaled by my ear, "How I adore you and will always adore you. All my life I wondered if the gloom of this place could change and with the right soul bring its beauty out. Sarah came in to show that it could. Then you arrived, Josette, to show that it would."

My eyes were closed but slowly opened to meet his. The dark curve of his brows, sooty colour of his lashes, so close... I touched the hollow of his cheek and said, "But it took one man to see those necessities and want to bring them together for a better place. And that man is you; Barnabas Collins... my dearest love... that man is you."

Our kiss became intense, but I could hear a moan of wonder and gratitude from him. Someone noticed beliefs he was never allowed to express, so often put down as dismal and greedy. The plights of suffering and being unduly used by others; this is what creates such wastefulness in life. Now his true self, in all of that grace and kindness shined through. His happiness and my happiness combined... and would extend to a new life that once upon a time had given joy to us both. Returning the favour was no hardship.

I shifted further and as I brought my leg over his hips he took me by the waist, asking, "Is this all right now? No harm... we've agreed."

I brought myself over him entirely, "No... And with what's happening now? How much longer will I manage to accept you this way?"

Barnabas took my hand to kiss, let go and I watched him enjoy the sensations as I moved. Now there was a solemnity which gave us both caution and perseverance. No longer were we combined as two, but in a love that was bringing forth the yearning for a lost one. In this experience I likewise was careful, using my knees to balance all of this and lying forward to reach for his kiss.

My hair fell around his face. His hands cupped my head below the jaw, and such tingles reached my throat as his fingers crept in there. I thought of all the confusion made clear... in each of these lives I'd known him and all of what he wanted was me... but perhaps he needed to know...

"Barnabas," I asked, gliding my fingers under his shoulders to hold and using this leverage as he'd used it on me, "do you know how much I love you? And do you know why?"

Barnabas scooped his hands down from my sides and took my ribs, helping us to pursue each other, "You've told me many a time and though I've been afraid to believe it, come what may, I do believe it."

As I kissed him again and drew away, I was curious, "Why afraid?"

A flash came into my mind of a time that he brought himself closer to sitting when I was above him... I could see in his thoughts he was compelled to want this, but too caring to do it now: So precautious, as he'd often shown to be. Instead he held my head and as we continued to feel each other he made these utterances at my ear,

"Too many have wanted me and never heard, too many have made me curious but not enough... and all I wanted was you... and all you could achieve... all we could achieve. My hopes were so high that I've feared you to fade in the many mists you have in the past. My cruelty, my truth to think perhaps one day I would know what we were. Oh... We have that now and,"

Here he allowed his arms to squeeze me, but not too forcefully. I shuddered and we halted as Barnabas took my hands to his chest and continued to tell me,

"I can't let you go, Josette. I won't let you go. But the uncertainty of over a century still lingers in the shades of fear within my heart. Each day and night I welcome you to me, always having wanted you for yourself through all of my misguidance and now..."

We writhed and kissed, I touched his body and he touched mine. I could almost hear the thoughts that were coming, but as our lips pressed together, through to the infinite, the echoes of his voice were what made his declaration in my mind,

"And now, you're bringing forth one who was so dear to us again... in your body and through our marriage..."

Our lips parted, and Barnabas spoke this in his voice, "How could I not know how much you loved me through these acts? You've blessed us in giving all of who you are, Josette Dupres... your sacrifice to us as Kitty, and now doing it all as Maggie Evans?" Here I stopped moving above him, looking down at his head on the pillow. Barnabas reached my face to hold in his right hand, "It's all too wonderful not to fear. My beloved, Margaret Josette Dupres."

The sun had set and the darkness crept in, candlelight glowing to my right. Reaching down to kiss him, I straightened my legs. We shifted and turned about, quickly but carefully and although now he was above me he showed that same care and attention. As we continued, breathing, kissing, his elbow resting beside me, he fanned the back his fingers across my cheek. What he managed had brought me to my needs. I let go with a hollow gasp. Staring up at the canopy I found my elation. Slowing down, I felt the release turned down my head and looked at him.

His stare was attentive, watching me for signs of enjoyment.

I pulled myself back toward the headboard, resting on my own elbows to see his face, shaded on one side.

"You've stopped. Don't you want... to..."

My question faltered and I felt his grasp on my arm, "No," the hint of a smile, but more serious than anything else, "I just want to look at your joy... and allow myself to understand... that all of this... is real."

Hope you enjoyed. Let me know if you did below or elsewhere. Remember... these two can read each other's minds now... but none of us doing this work can read yours. Thanks.