Somebody Save Me, a walking dead fanfic

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to The Walking Dead nor am I making any money from the writing of this story. The lyrics at the beginning are Save Me by Jelly Roll - listen while you read it! Rated M for physical and emotional child abuse, violence to a minor, strong language and underage consensual sex between older teenagers (16 & 17). I hope that I've tagged this fic correctly and all trigger warnings have been applied. I don't particularly like writing smut scenes for teenagers but it felt necessary to portray how Daryl feels about himself and Casey. I tried to keep it classy. Please please please let me know what you think of this one because I tried really hard to get inside of Daryl's head! Thanks for all the support and enjoy!

I'm a lost cause.

Baby, don't waste your time on me.

I'm so damaged beyond repair.

Life has shattered my hopes and my dreams.

XXX

Daryl

Merle warned me to stop running. "It jus' pisses him off more when you run, boy."

I run faster.

"Daryl! Get yer ass back here and take this ass whoopin'!" Dad's words are slurred - like when he's really mad, like when he doesn't stop until it hurts too bad to move mad. "Daryl! I'm gonna beat yer fuckin' ass!"

I make it to the house and push myself through the worn front door, skidding past mom who sits dozing on the ripped couch with her lit cigarette dangling from her mouth. That's the only way I'll ever remember her, she doesn't interact with me unless I get in the way of the staticky floor TV then she'll smack me across the back of the head; I barely even remember the sound of her voice.

Mom doesn't move, doesn't even flinch as her husband burst through the front door and storms past her to the back of the small shack we call home. I've managed to lock the bedroom door behind me grabbing Merle's old school bag from the closet and stuffing it with anything I can find to survive the next few days in the woods behind our house.

It's the end of the month so there won't be any drug money for at least three more days. Three days in the woods? That's nothing. A fuckin' vacation from this place. Once he can get high he'll forget about being pissed and I can sneak back in like I never left.

"Daryl!" Dad's strong fist bangs against the thin door, splintering the wood as I shove the last few hidden packs of generic pop tarts into the bag along with a jacket and a ripped blanket. I grab one of Merle's bowie knives from the side table and head to the window, tossing the bag then myself onto the grass.

"Daryl! You mother fucker! Worthless fuckin' piece of—-…" He's kicking the door in now and it won't take much to break it down so I hit the ground running - jerking Merle's bag on to my back as I take off to the tree line as fast as my legs will carry me.

A stick pops to my left and I spin around with my knife ready, pointing it at Casey Marshall's face as her blue eyes go wide and she stumbles back into a tree. I lower the weapon quickly and sigh, going back to tying my snare. "Ain't no place for you out here, Casey." I mutter when she doesn't say anything, glancing back at her as she frowns making me regret my words. Ever since I can remember she's tried to look out for me but we're seven now - I don't need nobody - especially some frilly girl in her pale blue dress and muddy white shoes. "…your grandma's gonna be pissed when she see's those shoes." I add, dropping her gaze.

"She sent me out here to find you. Said she heard your dad yelling and saw you take off to the trees, says it's gonna get real cold tonight."

I kneel down to my makeshift snare with a groan. I don't like people knowing my business because then they try to help - they send the cops out, Will Dixon sweet talks them into leaving and then I get a major ass beating for his trouble. The last time the cops came I couldn't go to school for a week because of the bruises dad left, he's learned for the most part to keep them hidden.

"I'll be alright." I mutter and pour all of my attention into checking the snare tie. Casey doesn't move - just stares at me with concern on her pretty face and I hate it. I don't need her pity. I tell her as much but she doesn't budge. "You can come stay with us tonight, jus' come after the sun goes down so your dad doesn't see you."

"I said I'll be alright!" I snap, shooting up to my feet quickly as she presses herself further into the tree behind her. Despite being almost two inches taller than me she looks small in the worn dress a size too big and I groan again as huge crocodile tears fill her eyes. "Don't cry." I mutter, my words softer as she wipes at her face roughly. Her ocean eyes narrow and her bottom lip pouts as she clenches her hands into fists. "I don't want you to freakin'…, freeze to death! Asshole!"

My eyes go wide at her outburst, unable to hide my grin as she crosses her scrawny arms over her chest. "Where'd you learn to talk like that?" I ask with a quiet laugh as her stern expression melts away in to a smile that lights up the entire forest. "From you and I'm gonna tell grandma you've been cussing if you don't come."

I look away from her quickly, already feeling the evening air turning cooler. I don't think the worn jacket and ragged blanket I grabbed will be enough to stay warm tonight but I don't need anyone's charity. I've got to learn how to do this shit on my own.

"Please Daryl. You'll catch a cold again - remember last time? Pop had to take you to doctor Taylor? I thought you were gonna die."

God, girls are so dramatic. That was the first time I ran into the woods with nothing but the clothes on my back. They said my fever was over 103. I was five years old. I managed two days before I crawled out of the tree line and passed out across the street from her house. Mr. Jone's took me into town and they gave me that gross medicine to take - I had to come to Casey's grandma's every evening just so someone would give it to me and make sure I took it. My parents didn't give a shit. Dad took a switch to my ass because I "took charity from people who thought they were better than us", whatever the hell that meant.

"Go home, Casey."

I gotta figure this shit out on my own. She blows a puff of air from her lungs in frustration sending her white blonde hair flying around her face. "Grandma's making beans and cornbread for dinner. Beans been goin' on the stove all day."

I groan at the thought. I can't remember the last time I've had anything to eat that I didn't kill, skin and half ass cook myself - other than the pop tarts Merle swiped from the grocery store and hid in our bedroom. He's been at the detention center for months now and I hate pop tarts. Sickly sweet, they make my stomach hurt every time I eat one.

"Alright, maybe. Just - go home." I snap again and turn away from her, listening as the leaves and twigs crackle and pop with her departure. "… and learn how to walk in the woods!" I call after her loud ass - shaking my head.

Casey's the only friend I've ever had - how pathetic is that? A frilly little girl as a friend. She doesn't like to hunt, she cries every time I kill an animal, doesn't like to fish or work on bikes. I run my hand over my face at the thought of her - she did punch a boy in the face in kindergarten for calling me feral Daryl and she's always done her best to make sure dad didn't kill me or I don't starve to death but she's just a girl, she has no survival skills - she doesn't belong in these woods or with me. I shake the thought and move down a few yards to set another snare trap.

Mrs. Jones, Casey's grandmother - opens her front door gently and smiles down at me, ushering me inside their warm home as she takes the tattered blanket from around my shoulders and then my jacket. She doesn't even speak just smiles with kind eyes that look like Casey's and points to the wash room down the hall where I go to scrub the dirt from my arms and face.

When I make my way back to the kitchen you can hear my stomach growling from the doorway and Casey's eyes meet mine but she's not smiling. She wears that same look of concern, the one that annoys the shit out of me as I make my way across the small room and sit down beside her at the table. A moment later Mrs. Jones places a steaming bowl of pinto beans down in front of me and a massive slab of corn bread causing my stomach to groan in protest again. I've learned to wait until after she's blesses the food and to keep my elbows off the table, sliding one hand into Casey's and the other into Mrs. Jone's.

"Lord, bless this food you've provided for us and the people around this table."

I glance over to Casey who always squeezes my hand when her grandma says that last part. She keeps her head bowed and I realize I like the way her eyelashes fan out over her pale cheeks. They're so long they almost don't look real. By the time Mrs. Jone's is finished I make sure to close my eyes tightly and say amen and then I waste no time digging into the food.

Seven years later.

"Are you paying attention?"

I glance up from the notebook in front of me meeting Casey's blue eyes as she slides her hand over my rough knuckles and I jerk away from her touch automatically. I try to ignore the frown that falls across her pretty face, tapping my pencil against the paper as I jot some nonsense down. I don't look at her again until she retracts her hand from in front of me and does her usual puff of annoyance - sending her hair flying. I wish there was a way to tell her how much I long for her touch, the thoughts consume my every waking moment - they keep me from sleeping at night. The feel of her soft hand on mine sends waves of pleasure through me but it also makes it feel like an anvil is sitting on my chest. She's the only person that's ever touched me without using her fist and I don't know how to process the sensations.

"Y-yeah." I finally answer, adverting her gaze as I focus on the notebook like it holds the answers to all of the world's secrets. Please don't touch me again…, or actually… do. Fuck.

"You good?"

I'm anything but good now. Thoughts of her touching me or me touching her - climbing over this fucking table and kissing her until she can't breathe flood into my head and I silently beg her to put her hand on mine again. I swear this time I won't flinch away.

I drop her gaze and glance around the room. The worn and dusty library where she's trying to help me pass ninth grade English smells like mold. I watch her eyebrow raise in question before she returns her attention to her own notes, muttering something about whatever the hell we're supposed to be learning.

I've tried telling her there's no point in me learning any of this shit. Words aren't my strong suit, or math… or any of it really. "You're not dropping out." Was all she said and then continued to read her notes out loud. I go back to focusing on my scribbled margin doodles for a minute and then look up at her again.

She's not the frilly little girl that used to follow me into the woods or rat me out to her grandma when I cussed to much. I can almost name every book in the Bible thanks to her snitching ass and Mrs. Jone's stern Sunday lessons. Casey sits across from me in torn jeans and a black hoody that looks oddly familiar and when she glances up to me I can't seem to look away.

She's really beautiful. The kind of beautiful you don't even realize - the kind of beautiful that starts from the inside and blooms outward. She's raising an eyebrow at me again so I push myself up from the table and gather my shit. I've got to get out of here before I ruin everything with the only person who's ever gave a shit about me.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. Dad said I could take the truck into town if I changed out the spark plugs." Her frown returns at the mention of my dad. I think she hates him more than I do. I keep my face neutral, it's what keep's me from being sent off to some even shittier foster home when people who pretend to care come around. It's what keeps me with Casey. "O-okay. Grandma's making corn bread tonight, she told me to tell you." She mutters, tossing her books in her book bag before standing beside me.

"Hell yeah." I say with a grin, eyes going wide as she wraps her arms around me in one of her surprise hugs causing my entire body to go rigid. She doesn't let go until I finally melt into her embrace and slide an arm around her middle - pulling her to my chest. "You coming with?" I ask, clearing my tight throat as she shakes her head no.

"I've got tutoring today. Come have dinner though - should be ready by six." She assures, giving me a bright smile that causes an ache to form in the center of my chest. We say goodbye but I keep my face neutral because I've mastered the act. My heart is pounding so hard against my ribs I have to bring my hand to my chest and apply pressure to ease the feeling she's left in her wake.

"Where the fuck you been, boy?" Dad growls from somewhere behind his truck, tossing a wrench at my head as I dodge the attack and make my way to the engine lifting the hood quickly. "School." Is all I say. I leave out the part about having to walk three miles to find some spark plugs for this hunk of junk.

"School? Fuckin' school." Dad scoffs and makes his way around the truck with narrowed eyes. "What the hell you still doin' goin' to school? You need to get a fuckin' job…, lazy piece of shit."

I idly wonder where he thinks I get the money for what few items I have to my name around here. Clothes, toothpaste - fuckin' shoes that ain't falling apart at the seam? He probably thinks I steal it like him and Merle but no, I cut grass for people around here for a few bucks a week and trade in town when I hunt. I'm not like them and I ain't never gonna be.

I know better than to reply but I do it anyway, muttering something about only being fifteen. My eyes close tightly as dad's rough knuckles smack across my face - sending a sting of pain through my jaw.

"I had a job when I was ten! Smart mouthed piece of shit!" My fingers grip the edge of the engine bay feeling the metal cut into my palms as I will away the pain radiating through my face. Fucking prick.

"You ain't half the man I was at fifteen, boy. Probably ain't even got your pecker wet!" Dad's loud grating laugh fills my pounding head as he slaps me on the back, hard. "You're fuckin' soft. I bet that fine little piece of tail next door ain't giving it up - not to some pussy like you."

"Fuck you."

Fuck Daryl learn how to keep your fucking mouth shut. It usually comes easy to me but not when he brings Casey into it. He grabs the back of my head, slamming it forward into the hood of the F150 before his large hand is around my neck choking off my air supply. I hold my breath and try to stay still. I've learned the more you struggle against him the tighter his fingers get around your throat. "You mother fucker! I ought to bash your fuckin' skull in on this engine!"

Instead he tosses me backward, eyes glaring as I take in a quick breath. "Ask your brother what back talk like that'll get ya!" I brace myself as his iron fist swings at my stomach, cracking ribs as he punches me hard - sending me to my knees. I manage another gulp of air before his boot replaces his fist, kicking me swiftly until I'm doubled over on my hands begging him to stop.

"Fuckin' pussy!" He spits - turning back to the truck to glare into the engine bay before spinning around and kicking me hard in the stomach again. I cough and spit out a mouthful of blood. "You mother fucker! You better get yer ass out of my sight before I fuckin' kill you!"

I scramble to my feet, stumbling forward as his boot connects with my lower back sending me face down in the gravel and dirt. I push myself up again and take off to the house trying to dodge the wrench he throws at my head as he continues to cuss and yell.

A growl escapes me as blood continues to drip down my face, eyes closing tightly from the surge of pain radiating through my chest. He's definitely broke some ribs this time. Fuckin' prick. I flinch as his palm slaps against the bathroom door - his grave voice filling my pounding head. "I'm goin' to the bar. That truck better be runnin' by the time I get back."

Heavy boots fill the hallway then he's gone causing the breath I didn't realize I was holding to release from my lungs. I wrap an arm around my torso trying to hold pressure against the throbbing pain as I meet blue eyes in the mirror but look away quickly. I am a fucking pussy. Grabbing a rag that was once a hand towel from the sink I press it to my bleeding head, leaving the bathroom with a grunt.

Casey

I watch Will Dixon gun Merle's motorcycle down the dirt road in front of our houses, keeping to the shadows until he's out of sight and then I take off across the yard to Daryl who's still working on their truck.

"Fuck." Daryl grunts and I watch the flash light he's trying to hold with his chin fall to the ground, his hands working something loose under the hood of the F150. He turns his face towards me slowly and my eyes go wide, nearly dropping the plate of cornbread I'm holding.

"What happened?" I ask softly, watching him shake his head and turn his attention back to the task at hand - cussing again as the ping of something important drops down through the engine parts. "Nothing. It's fine."

"Daryl." I reach out and touch his back, watching him flinch violently as he puts some space between us and turns back to me glaring. "I said it's fine!" I take a step back from his outburst but hold his troubled gaze. I'm not six years old anymore - I don't cry as easily as I once did but looking at the gash across his eyebrow that's still bleeding freely and the bruise along his jaw my chest tightens with grief. "I gotta get this shit done before he gets back." He mutters, turning away from me again as he wipes the blood from his brow and jerks the flashlight up from the ground. I sit my grandmothers plate on a few stacked up cinder blocks near us and climb up on the bumper of the truck, demanding the flash light.

Daryl glances over to me again - handing it over reluctantly as I shine the light down on his hands. The one he keeps using to wipe away the blood dripping from his brow is tinged in red and I take a deep breath trying to steady my shaky aim. He works in silence after that - turning bolts and changing out plugs. Thirty minutes later I'm sitting behind the wheel cranking the engine that thankfully roars to life. "Thank fuck." Daryl mutters, closing the hood with a loud pop. Our eyes meet and I can't help but frown, studying him carefully as he wipes at his eyebrow once again.

I watch him grab the plate of cornbread and head to the house without a word as I cut the truck off and jump down to follow him across the grass, falling behind with his longer stride. It's hard to believe there was a time when I was taller than him. He's ignoring me, turning on the kitchen sink to wash the blood and dirt from his hands quickly.

I take the plastic wrap off the corn bread and sit it down on the table where he usually sits taking the chair beside him. Daryl's still not speaking to me as he slumps down in his chair, wincing in pain as he looks down at the large piece of bread my grandmother saved him. "You ain't gonna eat?" He snaps, watching me shake my head no before ripping a chunk of bread off and shoving the rest towards me roughly.

"Why are you being such an asshole?"

I watch him shove the food in his mouth making it impossible to speak and my shoulders fall in defeat. Will Dixon is teaching his son to be a grade A prick just like him. "Fine. Whatever." I snap back and push myself up to my feet to leave. To my surprise Daryl reaches for me, his calloused hand wrapping around my forearm gently as my eyes go to his. He usually doesn't touch me - usually does everything in his power not to touch me so his fingers feel like they're burning into my skin. My eyes fall to his grip as he swallows the mouthful of cornbread and jerks me forward. "I'm sorry."

Those are two words I've definitely never heard him say and my eyes meet his again. I'm taken back at the pure heartache coming from him now. "Everything fucking hurts." He whispers, trying to clear the grief from his throat as his fingers slip from my arm and rake through his messy hair. "Let me see." I say softly and for once he doesn't fight me, lifting his shirt so I can access the damage his father inflicted. My eyes go wide at the nasty bruise that crosses his ribs and torso.

"Daryl. You gotta tell somebody about this. He can't keep getting away with it."

Just like that the conversation is over and he drops his shirt. "They'll take me away if I say anything and I don't…," His words become desperate - eyes searching mine as his fill with panic. "I don't want to be somewhere you ain't."

A tight uneasy feeling fills my chest at the thought of Daryl being taken away. He's my best friend, I don't want to be away from him either but what if that selfishness costs him his life. One day his dad may not stop until it's too late. I tell him as much and he shakes his head, sitting back down at the table as he grabs the plate of cornbread and takes another needed bite. "It'll be alright, Case. Jus' promise me you won't say anything okay? I want to stay here with you."

Tears I thought I learned how to hide threaten to fall as I nod, running my fingers over the bruise on his jaw gently as his eyes close and he stops breathing. I know I'm only fourteen years old and I'm too young to know what the hell any of these emotions really are but it's in this moment that I realize I really do love him. Maybe the way a sister loves her annoying hard headed brother or maybe some other way completely but the ache in my chest only grows at the thought of losing him.

"Daryl…?" My voice is so whisper quiet I'm not even sure he's heard me. I watch his eyes open,

avoiding my gaze as he takes another pinch of my grandmothers cornbread and pops it in to his mouth, chewing slowly. "Yeah?"

"I…, love you."

His back goes stiff as his gaze washes over me and despite the sweet words that have just left my mouth I'm frowning because I know he's never heard them before. I watch as he leans forward in his chair and reaches his hand out to me, brushing his rough thumb over my cheek to remove the single tear that betrays me. He doesn't say it back - he doesn't say anything so I shake the thought and turn my back to him - wiping at my face as I grab a dish towel and wet it, returning to the gash across his eyebrow. The room is so quiet all you can hear is our steady breathing as I wipe away the dried blood from his face focusing on the area around the wound as he winces in pain. He sits at the table eating the rest of the cornbread in silence and only after I've cleaned up his face to the best of my abilities do our eyes meet again and he whispers for my ears only, "…me too, Case."

By my sixteenth birthday I realize it's not brotherly love at all and every time I see Daryl, which is often - a surge of overwhelming emotion fills my chest. My oldest friend seems clueless and/or not interested in any of it though so a little piece of my soul dies everyday.

Today is no different. Even sporting his usual black eye and sour mood my heart soars at the sight of him. "Hey." I reach out and brush his messy hair from his eyes just to have him jerk his face away from me quickly and glare - taking a deep pull from the cigarette between his lips.

"You really are feral Daryl." I add with a smile but he doesn't laugh, just flicks what's left of the cigarette away and waits for the school bus in silence. I exhale the breath I'm holding and watch the large yellow vehicle climb the hill to our stop, allowing Daryl on first like I have for the past eleven years. On the first day of kindergarten he tried his best to be a gentlemen and let me go on first and that was the day he found out he was super claustrophobic when it comes to being trapped inside a banana colored death machine made of steel. His chest began to tighten and his breathing became erratic as he tried to put his head between his knees to calm the panic that was consuming him. I climbed over him in the seat to let him have the window and that's when Johnny Bowman told everyone he was feral Daryl - so I punched that buck tooth asshole in the mouth and took the isle seat ever since.

Today reminds me of the days when he would sit silently - staring out the window, clenching and unclenching his fists beside me. Daryl is full of nervous energy today and that bothers me more than it should but I know better than to push him when he's like this so instead I slide my hand into his warm palm and he relaxes into the seat a little. He keeps his eyes cast out the small window but to my surprise his fingers close over mine tightly.

The feel of his rough hand in mine causes that weird fluttering feeling to fill my stomach, butterflies clawing at my throat as I take in a deep needed breath and try to calm my racing heart. I swear he has to be able to hear it hammering against my chest - hell he can probably see it pounding a foot out in front of me like those stupid cartoons we used to watch when we were kids. A nervous laugh escapes me at the thought bringing his eyes over to mine slowly. It has to be my crazy hormonal mind playing tricks on me but I swear he lets his gaze fall to my parted lips before continuing to my neck then my chest and then the bus is lulling to a rough stop making him jerk his hand from mine as someone walks past us in the dark.

I exhale the breath I've been holding and turn my attention to the front of the bus, trying my damndest not to look at him again. Not even when his head turns slightly and his eyes burn into the side of my face. Daryl's never going to be interested in me the way I'm interested in him - when he looks at me all he sees is the annoying little girl that used to chase him into the woods.

Just as the bus squeals to its final stop Daryl says my name, his deep voice sending a shiver of pleasure through me as I jump to my feet and push past the few people in front of us to leave. "Casey!" I've made it halfway to the school building by the time he gets off the bus and against my better judgement I stop and turn back to him. What I see instantly infuriates me.

Megan McCormick, with her perfectly styled dark hair and perfect fucking boobs has intercepted Daryl's path as he turns his attention to her quickly. When she places her palm against his chest, smiling that fluorescent white smile - he doesn't shrug her off and I feel my heart break in half. Maybe his issues with touch don't come from the PTSD his dad's fists created, maybe he just doesn't want that touch coming from me. I turn back to the school as he calls my name again - disappearing into the crowd of kids surrounding me.

By midday Daryl isn't in the lunch room or if he is he's avoiding me as much as I've been avoiding him today. If grandma knew I skipped English she'd "tan my hide", whatever that means. She's been saying it for as long as I can remember but she's never even yelled at me…, except when she stopped letting Daryl spend the night in my room when I was twelve and I called her a bitch. I still regret that to this day.

I look down at the mystery meal on my tray with a frown - images of Megan's perfect smile and stupid hand on Daryl's chest makes my rage boil as a lunch tray slaps down in front of me suddenly, sending most of the mushy substance flying across the table. I glance up to feral Daryl with narrowed eyes as he slumps down across from me looking as pissed off as I feel.

"Where the hell you been all day?" He demands in that deep, gravely voice but pleasure is not what I feel in this moment - white hot rage consumes me now at the sight of him. "Why don't you go ask Megan McCormick?" I snap and in his defense confusion fills his face. "Who?" He snaps back and I groan in frustration.

I watch him pick an unidentifiable item off his tray and pop it in to his mouth - never being someone who can afford to be picky when it comes to food and my eyes just narrow further. "What's your problem?" He continues, drinking his milk carton down in one long gulp - his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as I look away. He really has no idea why I'm mad? No clue what so ever that I have this massive, life altering crush on him?

"Whatever Daryl." I growl and focus on my own food, stabbing my plastic spork into the slimy chunk of meat covered with gravy. I can feel the heat from his gaze burning through me as he begins to chew on his bottom lip. Words fail him but he's trying his best to figure out what happened this morning on the bus. I can almost see the gears turning in his head as I glance up at him through my eyelashes. He looks so fucking sexy sitting there, leaned back in his chair with one arm out in front of him, finger tapping the table nervously as he jerks his head to remove his hair from his eyes. I open my mouth to say…., something but we're interrupted by Mikey Tate, a guy I've been tutoring for the past few weeks.

"Casey. Hey."

I watch Daryl's shoulders go stiff but he doesn't look away from me even as I turn my eyes up to Mikey's and give him my best smile, the one that makes Daryl clutch his fingers into a fist.

"Hey Mikey. What's up?" Mikey looks between Daryl and I quickly as he begins to fidget on his feet and I swear I can hear my feral friend growling deep in his chest. "I uh, yeah. Sorry to interrupt…, I've got to um… practice. Football. Football practice - got canceled last week and they're having it today.. instead of uh…" He glances back over to Daryl who is still leaned back in his chair watching me carefully. He looks lethal and I try to hide the thrill that runs through me. "…tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay."

There's an awkward pause in our conversation where Daryl doesn't move - I don't even think he's breathing and Mikey possibly begins to hyperventilate. "Do you think we could meet up after practice to go over those notes for Mrs. Browns class? My mom could give you a ride home after…" Yep, Daryl is definitely growling. Fucking animal. I turn my attention back to Mikey giving him another amazing smile and although it may not be as bright or as straight as the dentists daughter's Megan it brings on Mikey's and he runs a hand over the back of his hair.

"Sure. I don't have anything going on after school."

Mikey brightens further. "Okay! Awesome.

Thanks Casey." I nod and watch him back away, bumping into the next table over before taking off as quickly as he came. I turn my attention back to Daryl who looks like a statue sitting across from me. He's completely still except for his teeth working his bottom lip - those gears still turning. When I drop the stupid grin on my face he jerks himself up straight and slaps his lunch tray - sending it flying down the table and into the floor with a messy crash. When he stands to his full height his chair falls backward and he storms off without a word causing my eyes to go wide as the students around me whisper among themselves.

Daryl

"The fuck you doing here already?" Dad mutters, not bothering to look up from the TV as he takes a long drink of his beer as I storm into the house. I figured he wasn't home since Merle's bike wasn't parked out front but here he sits in all his asshole glory. I grunt a response that he ignores as I push past him and go into my room. There's a large green duffle bag sitting on my bed. "Where's the bike?" I yell back through the house and it takes him five minutes before he bothers to answer me.

"Merle took it into town. Gone to get him some tail probably. Somethin' you wouldn't know shit about." Dad says with a loud laugh that I ignore. I'm to pissed at Casey to give a shit what he says about her and he's already smacked the shit out of me once today. "Merle's back?" He's supposed to be in the fuckin' army. I didn't know they let you come and go as you please.

"That's what I said dumbass. If you used half yer fuckin' brain you'd still shit and fall back in it."

I glance into Merle's bag making sure not to touch anything. Sometimes he's an even bigger asshole than our dad and he'll know if something's out of place. I go back into the kitchen and open the fridge, a big case of Busch staring back at me and nothing else. "Can I have one of these beers?" I mutter already knowing the answer. "Fuck no. Get the fuck out of here boy I'm tryin' to watch Gunsmoke!"

I slip a can into my coat pocket anyway, shutting the fridge door carefully and making sure not to walk in front of the TV as I head back outside.

I'm sitting on a fallen tree trunk when Merle stumbles into the clearing sending the fawn I've been watching running past us as his loud voice fills my head. "Damn boy you should have shot that!" With what gun asshole? I take a drink of the stolen beer. "Why the fuck you this far out? Hiding from someone?" Merle continues with a laugh much like ours dad's, slapping my shoulder roughly and almost knocking me off the tree. I finish off the beer and crush the can, tossing it to the ground as I turn to my brother and allow him to wrap his strong arms around me. He pulls me to his chest with his boa like embrace before holding me at arms length to get a better look.

"Look at you! Finally becoming a man!" He's only six years older than me but whatever. "Y-yeah." I manage to say keeping my eyes cast down at my feet as he jerks my face up and takes in the damage around my left eye. He whistles loudly and lets me go. "Somebody fucking with you at school? Need me to go down there?"

I shake my head no.

"Daddy?"

I keep my eyes down.

"Damn boy, what'd you do to piss him off?"

"Fuck if I know. Breathe to hard this morning?" I mutter something about wishing I could kill that mother fucker and when Merle hits me it knocks the air out of my lungs. I double over in pain, clutching my stomach as this weird wheezing noise leaves my throat and I swear I'm going to throw up. An overwhelming sense of disparity washes over me as I close my eyes and try to will away the pain radiating through my chest.

"Don't be disrespectful, boy. That's our daddy. A bruise like that? You did somethin' you shouldn't have."

I took a few of his cigarettes last night but he never notices them missing. He's just a fucking asshole…; like his eldest son. "I gotta meet up with some guys, jus' wanted to check in with ya. You staying out here?" I manage a nod as he slaps my shoulder again, almost sending me to my knees as he turns and disappears through the dense brush.

"Fucking hell." I groan as the pain from Merle's haymaker surges through my gut. It's followed by a deep ache of sorrow and I swear if I fucking cry I'll kill that mother fucker too. I lean back on the tree trunk and run my hands over my face and into my hair, taking a deep breath to try and steady the anguish that's surrounding my heart.

Casey's mad at me because some girl at school stopped to thank me for changing her grandma's flat tire last week. I don't even know her fucking name.

I can't go one day without my dad beating the shit out of me or calling me a pussy or a dumbass and when I say something to Merle about it he knocks the fucking air out of me.

"Goddamnit." I sniff hard and wipe at my face, bringing my bottom lip between my teeth roughly. Don't be a fucking pussy! Fucking pathetic excuse for a man. Fucking worthless. I rake my hands through my hair again as my throat tightens with grief. Don't fucking do this. Don't prove him right.

Every muscle in my body goes rigid, a deep ache filling my soul as a sob escapes me.

Casey

"Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Tate."

Grandma is sitting in her usual spot on the porch reading the newspaper as I glance over to Daryl's house, noting his brother's motorcycle is gone. No way his dad let him take it anywhere so maybe he's inside waiting for me to come fix this rift between us. I frown at the thought looking back to my own house as grandma nods to the woods, silently telling me who I'm looking for is hidden in the trees.

I toss my book bag near the mailbox and cross the dirt road - slipping into the trees without a second thought. Maybe it's not meant for us to be anything more than friends. I know I don't want to lose what we have so I pull my hood over my head and track through the trees to apologize for today. If he wants Megan McCormick to touch him that's fine with me.

My hands fist at my sides at the thought.

It takes me almost thirty minutes before I spot him, leaning against a fallen tree and when I do my heart falls into the pit of my stomach. Less than a handful of times have I found him this deep in the woods, even less times has he been crying. Daryl is squatted down with both of his hands covering his face, shaking with silent sobs. I pull my hood off and say his name and he doesn't even try to hide his sorrow as he lifts his head to meet my gaze.

He looks like he's going through hell.

I close the space between us as he stands up and lets me wrap my arms around him. I bring his head down to my shoulder and it takes several minutes before his own arms finally slide around me bringing me in closer before burying his face in my hair. The sob that escapes his throat causes me to hold him tighter as he takes in a deep breath to try and regain his composure.

The last time I saw him cry was the first time his dad split his back open with a switch. Daryl was eight and even though he was tough as shit back then, he was still just an eight year old little boy. "Are you hurt?" I whisper, only running my hands down his back when he shakes his head no. We stay like that for a long time until slowly he lifts his face from my hair and puts just enough space between us so I can wipe the tears from his cheeks and search his eyes. Pure heartache is pouring from him as my own tears threaten to fall.

"I'm sorry I was a bitch today." I assure him as he tightens his grasp around me. He doesn't speak for a long time and when he does it sends a stab of pain through my chest. "W-what do you want from me, Casey?" Daryl whispers, the words broken with grief as he tries to clear his throat and say it again. I feel my heart break for the second time today.

"… just you. Whatever you'll give me." If all he can give me is his friendship then that's what I'll take I assure him, running my fingers into the back of his hair as his eyes close and he leans forward, pressing his forehead to mine. He's chewing on his bottom lip again and I know by the way his breath catches in his throat he wants to say something else but instead he shakes his head and lets it fall to my shoulder again.

His breathing starts to calm as my fingers rake through the back of his hair and he lifts his head again, his mouth stopping just below my ear as he whispers my name. "Y-yeah?" I whisper back, turning my face to his slightly. "I…," His voice is so deep it vibrates my insides causing those damn butterflies to flutter in to my stomach again. I'm never going to be able to just be his friend. I love him so fucking much. "I want to… give you…, all of me, Case. I jus' don't know how."

His quiet words light me on fire as my hand slides from the back of his neck to his jaw, turning his face so our mouths are nearly touching. I'm breathing so hard I'm afraid I'm going to faint but when he nods his head slightly I push myself forward and press our lips together. Neither of us move for a moment, not until his fingers grip my waist does my tongue finally brush against his lips to gain access to his mouth - causing a soft groan to pass between us as I snake my arms around his shoulders and he pulls me closer to his chest.

Daryl kisses me like his life depends on it, running his hands up my back into my hair as he leans into me desperately. Maybe it's the lack of oxygen but I feel like I'm floating, my heart hammering against my chest as he finally pulls away from me with a soft curse - placing his forehead to mine again as he tries to pull air into his burning lungs.

"…we gotta stop…" He mutters as I nod and lean into him again, forcing my tongue into his mouth as he groans deeply and pulls me closer. We continue to kiss until I think I may explode and then it's my turn to pull away gasping for air. I want him to touch me - every fucking part of me but he keeps his hands in my hair, searching my face as his chest heaves with desire.

"We gotta stop." He says again, his voice rough and pleading. "O-okay." I whisper as he tightens his fingers in my hair and places his forehead to mine. "You taste like strawberries." Daryl says quietly, closing his eyes with a groan as he pulls my face to his and kisses me again. Thank you strawberry chapstick. I owe you. Daryl pulls away from me again taking in a deep needed breath. "You're drivin' me crazy." He says to no one and a surge of pleasure runs through my chest.

"Daryl…"

His eyes close tightly like he's in physical pain - knowing what I'm going to ask, wanting what I want more than he's ever wanted anything in his life. Putting some space between us he adjusts the tightness in his pants and I take in a deep breath meeting his gaze as he nods towards the way I came. A moment later I hear my grandma's loud whistle indicating I need to get home.

We walk out of the woods in silence except for our ragged breathing and when we say goodbye he hangs his head, letting his hair fall into his eyes. I reach out and brush the dark strands from his face and for the first time in forever he doesn't flinch, looking up at me slowly. "I'll see you tomorrow?" I ask but he just watches me, finally nodding. "Y-yeah." He assures and heads towards his house - waving to my grandmother who's standing on the porch with her hands on her hips. I stand on the other side of the dirt road we share with a frown on my swollen lips.

I may have just ruined ten years of friendship.

Daryl

I go in to the house and head straight to the shower, turning the water on its coldest setting as I strip my clothes off and step inside, standing under the icy stream for several minutes without moving. My heart is beating against my chest so hard it hurts, sending blood to every inch of my body. I groan at the thought and lean against the shower wall - taking in a deep breath to try and calm myself down. Thankfully no one's home to bitch about using all the hot water, even though I'm not using any. I tilt my face up and let the uncomfortable spray wash over me.

How is Casey the one person who shows up for me when I'm about to lose my fucking mind? She's my damn guardian angel. I am a stranger to the feeling she fills my chest with every time I see her - she's the only person who's ever shown me love and I have no fucking idea how to give it back to her. I rake my hands through my wet hair with another groan.

I can't get the smell of her off my skin no matter how hard I scrub, squeezing some more generic three in one soap she helped me pick out into my hand and scrubbing my hair roughly. I let the cold water wash over me again - realizing it's not helping to get her out of my head so I turn the water off and grab a towel from the shelf beside the toilet, wrapping it around my waist quickly. For the first time in a long time I don't look away when I glance up to the foggy mirror - searching my dark gaze. I can picture all of the things I want to be doing with Casey as I stare back at myself and let out the puff of air I've been holding. Fuck me.

I make my way into my room and spot Merle's bag on my bed, remembering he's back with a groan. More than likely him and dad will come home fucked up and I do not want to deal with that shit tonight.

I dry myself off and grab some clothes from the dresser, black sweats and a dark gray shirt - running the towel over my hair before raking my fingers through the messy strands. Good enough.

Now what? It's not even nine so there's no way Casey's grandma's in bed but if I'm really, really quiet I can make it up to her room without getting caught. I've only ever showed up at her bedroom window a handful of times, mostly because I didn't want to be here when dad got home and it was to cold to go into the woods after dark. Tonight I'm just desperate to see her.

I grab some socks and my boots from the hallway and jerk them on, trying to knock the rest of the water from my hair as I open the back door and stop in my tracks. I hesitate with my hand on the knob, fighting an inner battle with myself before turning on my heels and going back into my room - jerking Merle's top drawer open and fumbling around inside for the sleeve of condoms he keeps under his boxers. I rip one off, then another and shove them in my pocket - turning back to the back door quickly.

Casey

My eyes go wide as I look up from my English notes , crawling off my bed to the window - pushing it up enough so Daryl can climb inside. I watch him place his finger to his lips before nodding to my bedroom door. Grandma doesn't come upstairs anymore - at least she hasn't in several years but I'm almost certain tonight will be the night she comes to tuck me in personally.

I open my bedroom door and step out into the hall. "I'm going to bed, Gram! I love you!"

"Love you, honey! Good night!" I close the door and lock it gently, turning back to Daryl as a thrill runs through me. He looks so perfect standing in front of me with his dark sweats and messy hair and my eyes go wide as I realize I'm also in sweats and messy hair. There's no way he's thinking about kissing me wearing these raggedy sweat pants and torn red t-shirt. I smooth my hands over my hair and wait for him to say something but in true Daryl fashion he just stares at me - his chest rising with anticipation.

I don't know what to say. Why are you here? Are you alright? Will you ever kiss me again?

I never know with him.

Thankfully instead of talking he closes the space between us and sinks a hand into the back of my hair - pulling me to his mouth roughly as our lips meet and I kiss him desperately, twisting the soft fabric of his shirt in my grasp as his tongue meets mine. Daryl's other hand slides around my hip, slipping into the back of my shirt as he begins walking us towards my bed and I sit down slowly, pulling him with me as he tries not to break our contact. I can feel his heart pounding against my hand as I slide it up his chest and to the nape of his neck, raking my fingers into the back of his hair as he groans.

He finally pulls away from me reluctantly - hanging his head beside mine as he tries to pull air into his lungs. "Say something?" I whisper because his silence is killing me and I want to know what he's thinking. At first I don't think he's going to but finally after a long pause his rough hand slides up my side, caressing my stomach as another quiet groan escapes him. "You smell really good."

A laugh escapes me as I place my hand over my mouth, meeting his amused eyes. Of all the things to say. Daryl places his lips to my throat making my hand fall away as his continues up my torso, his thumb caressing my side as a rush of air escapes him. "…and you taste really good." He whispers against my skin sending a shiver of pleasure through my body. His name falls from my lips in a quiet moan as he sinks his body into mine, kissing a line up my throat and to my jaw.

"That's cheatin'." He growls against my face, finally pressing his erection into my thigh as his lips find mine again and he kisses me deeply, sinking his hand back into my hair.

I feel like I'm going to split in half - my own hands grabbing his head to hold him to me as we kiss roughly, nipping at each others lips as he grinds himself against my thigh - pushing my shirt up further. "Daryl…," I say again - letting my head fall back on the bed as his teeth graze my jaw before kissing my neck. A low, desperate sound is coming from his chest - almost like a growl as he bites my throat gently and the thought of feral Daryl slips into my head with a nervous giggle. Slowly, he pulls away from me and hangs his head again. "You want me to stop?"

His voice is so deep, almost pleading as I let my fingers trail over his biceps and down his arms, sliding my hands into his shirt as I pull the soft material over his head quickly. "Please don't stop." I whisper as another groan escapes him and he's looking down at me with hooded eyes, pulling a hand from my hair to caresses my face as he brushes his thumb over my pouted lips. I want to die in this moment - savor it for the rest of eternity but then he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and I see the gears start to turn in his head again.

I'm losing him.

"Daryl…, I want to… do this…" I assure him, running my hands down his chest as his breath catches in his throat. He wants this too - I see it in his desperate gaze but he feels like he's not worthy of it - not worthy of my love. I reach up to him, pulling him back down to my parted lips as he takes in a deep breath. "I want you." I say again and he nods slightly.

It seems like desire outweighs logic as he kisses me again, running both of his hands into my shirt - sliding the material over my head and tossing it to the floor beside his before adverting his eyes nervously as I hook my sweat pants with my thumbs and begin pushing them down my legs.

Daryl is making that growling noise again, his head bent and breathing heavy as he slides off his own sweatpants - leaning down to place his lips on my collar bone as he fumbles between us for an awkward moment. I realize he's putting on a condom - that he came over here - climbed up the side of my grandmothers house with every intention to have sex with me tonight. The thought sends a thrill of pleasure through my chest as I bend my face down to his and kiss him - causing a groan to pass between us as he positions himself between my thighs; hesitating again.

"…please don't stop." I whisper against his lips, the heat from his body radiating through me as I grasp his hips and pull him closer. "Y-you're sure you want to?" He finally mumbles above me, eyes closed in fear of rejection. I run my hand over his jaw and into the back of his hair making his eyes open slightly but he won't look at me - breathing so hard I worry he may pass out.

"Daryl. I love you - I want all of you." I assure him as his head hangs further and he finds my mouth again as he sinks into me slowly. I tighten my fingers in to his hair with a gasp as he pulls back, searching my face. "Are you… okay?" He grunts, arms nearly giving out as he places them on either side of my head and I nod kissing his shoulder. "Don't stop." I plead, digging my nails into his back as he thrust deeply causing a spill of profanity against my ear. "…oh god, Daryl."

He's completely still for a moment, breathing hard against my throat as a pang of worry fills my chest that he's going to get lost in his head again and stop. I don't want him to stop. Ever. "Daryl…" I groan, running my hands into the back of his hair again. "Please…"

"Jus'… give me a second…" He whispers against my skin and I nod, trying to steady my own racing heart. Another moment passes and he begins to move, filling me deeply as those delicious sounds start vibrating in his chest again. "…you feel so fucking good…" He groans against my throat as I feel my body begin to tighten around him. He only last another few minutes before he buries his face in the bend of my neck and slides a hand under my hips, holding me tightly as desperate sounds escape his throat and his body collapses onto mine. I wrap my arms around him, breathing in pine and Marlboro's - the intoxicating smell I've grown so familiar with.

"A-are you okay?" Daryl asks me again and I can only nod feeling weightless as I cling to him to keep from floating away. "D-did you… like it?" I manage to whisper because he's so quiet and I've never done anything like this before. "Fuck yeah." He breaths against my ear tightening his arms around me as I kiss his temple and let my head fall back to the bed. When he looks up at me he's actually smiling, well… as much as he ever has. His lazy grin is intoxicating as I pull him back down to my parted lips, kissing him again.

The next morning we're standing at the bus stop in awkward silence. I keep my eyes forward as he stares a hole into my side, bringing his cigarette up to his lips to take a needed drawl. "Are you okay?" He finally mutters for the millionth time over the past twelve hours - holding the smoke in his lungs as I nod, finally lifting my eyes to his. To my surprise he brushes his hand over my jaw, sinking his fingers into the back of my hair as he tilts my face up to his. "Can I kiss you?" His words are so quiet I don't know if I've heard right. He's asking permission?

"Anytime you want." I assure him as he blows the smoke from his lungs and my heart explodes form the smile he gives me, half hidden in the darkness surrounding us he glances over to my grandmothers house before looking back to me - leaning down to kiss me softly. When he pulls away I feel light headed.

"You taste good." Daryl mutters, still grinning as he takes another puff and turns back to face the road as my smile widens.

After that we're inseparable - well, we were inseparable before that but now there's more fun to be had and eventually the time passes and we settle into an undefined relationship. Graduation came and went and I was so proud of him for making it even if his dad berated him when he asked about buying a cap and gown.

Ain't no way no dumbass piece of shit like you graduated no how, you jus' tryin' to get money off me!

Grandma couldn't afford to buy two sets so we skipped the awards ceremony and got drunk in the woods instead. I went to community college while Daryl mostly tagged along with Merle trying to keep him out of trouble. He succeeded 40% of the time.

We argued about stupid shit like him buying a motorcycle and not so stupid shit like what the hell were we even doing? Playing house? Was I just a guaranteed piece of ass to him? Eventually he told me he loved me, whispered softly in the darkness of his dads truck but those three words renewed my hope that maybe one day he'd ask me to marry him and we could actually start a life together.

Grandma went to Heaven to be with Pop right before I graduated nursing school and then I got a job at the doctor's office where my grandpa took Daryl that time he caught a cold in the woods.

… and the world turned like it always seems to do… until the day it stopped.