A/N: So begins the next book in the Logic of the Soul series! I hope you guys are as excited to read it as I am to write it. Note: This is the third book in the series, I suggest you read the first two books (Logic of the Soul and Between Logic and Heart) before jumping into this story. If you're familiar with the first two books, then sit back and enjoy the ride! Unless otherwise stated, all chapters were reviewed by my beta Ravenshell. She is amazing! Also I do not own anything in the TMNT franchise, only my original characters.

Chapter 1: Fire Child

Raphael clenches his muscles, refusing to shiver despite the dense chill that settled in the lair earlier that morning. Yawning, he rubs the remaining fuzz from his eyes. For just one night, he wishes Mikey could sleep peacefully without those cursed night terrors. Last night was pretty bad, three episodes of fits and screaming before Mikey's body finally gave in to exhaustion. Raphael was there the whole time holding him, being an anchor through it all.

Despite his efforts, a shiver still runs up his shell. The city had a particularly icy cold front come in last night, and one of the pipes had frozen over leaving the lair extra drafty this morning. He sighs. 'How to fix a busted pipe' is just one more instruction manual he will have to search for, adding to today's already lengthy to-do list:

Cook breakfast; make sure Mikey and Master Splinter eat.

Physical therapy with Mikey.

Search Donnie's lab for a maintenance manual to the fix the pipes.

Actually fix the busted pipes… maybe Casey can help… wait, school started back and he's got stuff going on with his mom… I can handle it.

Check on Mikey. Pain medicine usually makes him loopy.

Do surveillance cameras freeze?... I don't know, I should probably check 'em anyway.

Fix lunch; make sure Mikey and Master Splinter eat.

Physical therapy with Mikey… gotta make sure he gets that range of motion back.

Check in with April and her dad, haven't heard from them all week. Maybe I can help make some calls to libraries and ask about that guy that Mr. O'Neil knows… it's the closest lead we have to finding Donnie…

As Raphael's mental list grows longer, telling his brain to SHUT UP is the only thing keeping him from buckling under its extensive weight. Don't think about it, just do what needs to be done, he reminds himself. A blaze of fire isn't vanquished with a few drops of water, and neither is Raphael Hamato.

Closing his weary eyes, he inhales the strong aroma of his caffeinated beverage and exhales with another yawn. Exhausted doesn't even begin to describe how Raphael feels. But for now, he plans to enjoy this moment of solitude at the kitchen table as he cradles a mug of black coffee between his hands. He needs this moment to just… be.

Unfortunately, his quiet time is short-lived as the shuffle of lethargic feet enter the kitchen. The sounds of feet dragging is unfamiliar and just wrong coming from the bundle of energy he calls his little brother but that was before everything happened… before Donnie happened. "You're up early," Raph states before taking a sip from his mug, savoring the warmth that fills his chest all the way down to his toes.

Mikey smiles, feigning a cheerfulness that used to come naturally. "It's like a billion degrees below freezing. My body's practically begging for hot chocolate to unthaw, bro."

A tinge of remorse pricks Raph, "Sorry, Mikey. I think one of the pipes may have frozen. I'll work on it today."

"That's definitely a Donnie thing," Mikey responds quietly, his shell turned toward Raph as he grabs a mug from the cabinet as well as a few packets of hot chocolate mix. "Pretty sure Dee had some sort of notebook he kept that kind of stuff in."

"Yeah… I figured it's somewhere in his lab."

Mikey hums in agreement.

Preparing pipes for the winter was yet another 'Donnie' thing the brothers had taken for granted. There's silence once again, as there often is when either of them mentions their missing brother. Raph watches Mikey with careful eyes. His youngest brother was always light on his feet skipping, flitting, and—God, help him—bouncing around the kitchen as if his constant movement was necessary to complete the most mundane tasks. Unfortunately, Raph hasn't seen that version of Mikey in almost two months. This new Mikey still smiles and even cracks jokes but pain medicine and lack of sleep have stolen his carefree stride. It's like watching a marionette show with the illusion of singing, dancing puppets, and Raphael isn't sure who's pulling the strings anymore.

Mikey holds the mug handle with his right hand—the damaged one, the disfigured one, the one that shakes on its own accord like it's doing right now—as he grabs a bag of marshmallows. Ever watchful, Raph is already up, taking the mug from Mikey's trembling hand before he spills any of his chocolatey beverage on the counter and floor.

"I got it, Mike. Just sit down."

"I had it, Raph. I wasn't going to drop it, like New Years..." Mikey's protest fades as his gaze drops to his feet.

Yeah… New Year Eve's pizza lasagna mishap was not something Raph had the time or energy to revisit right now. With his trademark cool smirk, Raph doesn't miss a beat as he rubs Mikey's head before clasping his shoulder. "It's all good. I was gonna get up and start breakfast anyway," Raph reassures Mikey as he piles a bunch of marshmallows in the mug before placing it on the table across from his now room temperature coffee. Pushing thoughts of solitude and hot coffee to the side, Raph turns on the stove and grabs a skillet.

Mikey rolls his eyes with a resigned sigh as he takes a seat and plops a single marshmallow in his mouth. Raph can feel Mikey's eyes on him as he grabs a carton of eggs out of the fridge. "I'm not really hungry," his younger brother says, his sunny tone slipping into something cloudy and distant.

"Tough cookies. You're eating eggs and bacon," Raph answers gruffly.

"I'd rather have the tough cookies," Mikey grumbles under his breath as he drinks his hot chocolate.

"I heard that," Raph warns, only slightly offended. He wasn't the best cook but nobody'd croaked yet so it couldn't be that bad. Plus, the crunch added a bit of texture to the eggs in Raph's opinion.

"Leo! We haven't seen you in forever, dude. You're just in time for breakfast!" Mikey's voice did a complete 180, and actually sounded genuinely… happy.

Raph's shoulders briefly tense up at the mention of their eldest brother's name. The red-clad brother couldn't help but feel a prickly touch of envy at the way Mikey greeted Leo with real joy and not the façade of happiness he gets every day. What was he, chopped algae?

With a groan, Raph turns around giving Leo a wary look. It's rare to see their estranged brother unless it's the back of his shell, leaving the lair. Raph thinks the last time he actually saw Leo face-to-face was Christmas. Everything in between then and now has been mere glimpses of his shadowy figure creeping from his room to the dojo, or out the lair for days at a time.

Leo gives Mikey a quick glance but his eyes hover on Mikey's injured arm a minute too long before looking away. "I'm good," Leo answers, bluntly turning down breakfast as he drinks from the thermal bottle in his hand that was clipped to his belt.

Leo's lingering eyes didn't escape Mikey as Raph watches his younger brother fold in on himself with slumped shoulders and puts his trembling arm under the table. Great, it's not even 8am and Leo is already grating Raphael's nerves.

The red-clad brother finds it hard to keep a neutral expression as he scrutinizes Leonardo's full appearance. Leo's hand, wrist, leg, and feet wrappings are black instead of their usual shades of brown and tan. He even upgraded his katana straps and utility belt to the new shades of pitch black. Welded metal, adorned with spikes, protects his shoulders, and his knees are similarly shielded with sheet metal. The smears of grime on his face are the icing on top of his whole broody vibe. There was a time, Raph would have admired Leo's new look and called it cool, but that was before Leo started avoiding him like the plague, leaving Raph to deal with the aftermath of Donnie's mutation and kidnapping.

Now, Raphael just thinks Leo looks stupid.

Arms crossed, Raph's lips form a thin line as he frowns at Leo, "Where've you been?"

Leo places his thermal bottle on the table as he opens the fridge. "Oh, the usual," he answers curtly, voice dripping in sarcasm, "looking for our brother, Donnie. You know, the one who's missing."

If Raph is honest with himself, there were plenty of times in the past several weeks that he could have confronted Leo, either when his blue-clad brother was brooding in his room or training in the dojo like a maniac. Truth be told, Raphael just didn't trust himself not to throw one of his sais at his older brother's head, a similar sentiment he has right now in response to Leo's snide remark. But on the flipside, he's kept his temper in check and hadn't confronted Leo in the past several weeks. That had to count for something, right?

Sometimes a flame is needed to set a forest ablaze; other times merely a flicker is needed to light a candle.

Master Splinter's candid advice given during those touch and go moments of Mikey's survival ring like a warning bell in Raph's memory. Right, just a flicker, he reminds himself as he lets go of his sai-stabbing thoughts and drops his arms to his sides in single slow exhale.

"Everyone's doing what they can, Leo. Splinter's been tryna find Donnie with meditation; April and her dad are following the lead on that Gary guy; and –"

"I'm not going to sit around waiting for other people to find our brother," Leo snaps back, whatever he was looking for in the fridge forgotten as he slams door shut.

Raph takes a minute to collect his words, Leo's insinuation was meant to provoke and Raph has to be smarter than that even though it goes against his usual explosive nature. His tongue is capable of offering a warm flame of support or a gasoline-drenched blaze of spite. Despite grace being his weaker trait, Raphael chooses his words carefully, "It's not just about Donnie. We all have responsibilities, Leo. Some need more attention than others."

Leo raises an eyebrow while crossing his arms, "Enlighten me."

Raph, steals a glance at Mikey, who's more focused on trying to bring his cup to his lips despite his hand tremors. He gives Leo a pointed look, "The lair's not runnin' itself. You might wanna check on things you've been neglecting," Raph tells him calmly with just a hint of heat to imply his seriousness as he discreetly juts his head in Mikey's direction.

Leo follows his gesture and for a fleeting moment, his guarded expression softens. Raph hopes it is a flicker of understanding but in a blink of an eye, the moment is gone, replaced with a cool gaze that makes Raph shudder despite the hot annoyance flushing across his face.

"I've got more important things to worry about." Leo retorts dismissively as he grabs his thermos and turns on his heels towards the dojo.

Raph gawks for a second, seething from Leo's selfishness. Why was he being like this? It wasn't right! It wasn't fair! Before he knows it, Raphael swiftly bridges the gap between him and Leo's retreating form. Grabbing Leo roughly by the arm, he forces his older brother to face him. Leo glowers at him clenching his free hand into fist reach to swing, but stops as Raph jerks him closer, his voice drops to a low growl, "You can be teed off at me all you want, but don't shove your drama on Mikey." Leo tries to pull away but Raph holds fast because Fearless is going to hear what he has to say whether he wants to or not. He continues, softening his tone, "He's having a hard time with his arm, Leo. He needs both of us."

The two brothers stand just outside the kitchen locked in a silent battle of emotions. Stubborn as ever, Raph outstares Leo as the older brother averts his gaze to Mikey who's watching them from the kitchen table.

Raph doesn't miss the torment that marks Leo's countenance or the way his breath quickens. Concerned, Raphael loosens his grip on his troubled brother's arm, "Leo?"

Leo swallows hard, pushing down any trace of vulnerability and solemnly tells Raph, "I'm not a babysitter, you deal with him," before pulling away and continuing his trek to the dojo.

Raph can't believe his ears. Did Leo really just act like none of this was his problem? His idiot brother was making it nearly impossible for Raph to maintain a flicker of calm in his spirit. He no longer feels the coldness of the lair, only the raging, indignant inferno within him threatening to burn every inch of empathy for Leo into ash. He wants to pummel him. Now.

Then, he remembers his little brother. How had he forgotten Mikey was still in eyesight? Raph could feel his sensitive and perceptive brother's eyes tracing the back of his shell, watching his movements and waiting for a reaction. Thoughts of Mikey's well-being is enough to bring Raph down from 'Mt. Kill-Leo' as he takes a deep breath. The red-clad turtle keeps his expression pleasant and open as he faces Mikey.

"Eggs and bacon," Raph smiles offering Mikey two thumbs up. "It'll be ready in a sec, bud."

Mikey mimics Raph's expression, pretending once again with a forced grin, "Yeah, sure, bro. Sounds good!"

Raph tries to ignore the fact that Mikey's trying too hard because, frankly, so is he. Getting back on schedule, Raph steps to the stove, making quick work of cooking breakfast.

"Is he mad at me?" Raph almost drops the spatula at Mikey's question. "I… I still can't remember what happened to my arm. I know you and Sensei said it was an accident but Leo gave me this look so I thought maybe I did something—"

Raph places a plate in front of Mikey with more force than necessary before scraping eggs and bacon from the skillet to the plate.

Inches away from Mikey's baby blue eyes, Raph makes sure his brother is looking him dead in eyes, "You listen to me and you listen good. Leo's being stupid and it's got nothing to do with you, got it?" When Mikey looks down, Raph pops him under the chin with his finger, bringing his downhearted gaze back to him. "Hey, I'm serious. You didn't do anything wrong, okay?" Mikey nods numbly before turning his attention to his plate. "I'm going to bring Master Splinter breakfast, then I'll come join ya." He rubs his head playfully and grabs a plate of eggs and bacon for Sensei. "Then we'll work on your therapy."

Mikey makes a sour face at the mention of therapy and huffs as he tries to steady his hand, aiming a forkful of eggs into mouth. He misses and tries again. When Mikey woke up with tremors, Raph knew it was going to be a trying day with therapy. He glances over to the dojo, hearing the faint grunts and exertion of his older brother. Raph sighs, Mikey was going to be enough to handle today, Raph didn't have the energy for another Leo-level blow out if they went in the dojo for Mikey's therapy.

"You know what, let's skip therapy this morning," Raph suggests and actually gets a genuine pique of interest from Mikey. "If you're up for it, you can help me find Brainiac's big behemoth book of 'how to fix broken stuff.'" Mikey gets to play hooky from therapy and Raph doesn't have to deal with Leo. Everybody wins.

"Behemoth?" Mikey snorts at Raph's vocabulary. "Donnie would be proud."

Raph's smirk widens into a smile at the small lift in Mikey's spirits. "Haha. Real funny, wiseguy. I'll be right back."

Breakfast tray in tote, Raph stops just short of Donnie's room. Shifting the tray to a single hand, Raph knocks tentatively on the door even though he knows he won't get an answer. With a quick skyward glance, he squares his shoulders before turning the knob and walking in.

Raphael blinks as his eyes adjust to Donatello's dimly lit room. Master Splinter sits in a lotus position on the bed, his eyes closed, surrounded by the faint glow of the bedside lamp. The soft hum of Splinter's meditation fills the room. Usually walking in on Splinter's mediation feels like being encircled in a calming balm, but lately the air of mediation is weighty with unease.

Splinter is in the same meditative lotus position he was in yesterday, and the day before that, and week before that. Raph has only seen his sensei leave Donnie's room to shower, and, as if being called by an unseen enchanter, he dutifully returns to this room. Raph has been bringing him breakfast, lunch, and dinner, not wanting to disturb Splinter's concentration as he searches for signs of Donnie's aura. Master Splinter's words to Raph and his brothers have become fewer and fewer over the past month, and now, he only occasionally speaks when spoken to.

"Hey, Master Splinter," Raph calls out, his voice a soft murmur. The aged sensei's eyes remain closed, immersed in mediation. Sighing, Raph takes a minute to assess the room. Donnie's absence echoed painfully in the silence, a daily reminder of their current predicament.

As he quietly approaches the bedside, Raph's heart clenches in a needless fear that he doesn't understand. Concern etched on his face, he places the tray of food beside his sensei. "I brought you some breakfast. You gotta eat, you know?"

Master Splinter's eyes finally flutter open, a distant heaviness in his gaze. Despite the hazy look, Splinter still greets Raph with a warm smile, "Raphael, my yasashī senshi. Thank you."

"Sure, Sensei," Raph is relieved to hear both Splinter's voice and touched at the sentiment of his nickname. He hopes it's a sign Splinter will eat more than a few nibbles this time. "Any luck tracking Donnie?" Raph asks with hesitation, not sure if he will get a response. Splinter closes his eyes once again, and the mere three-foot gap between them becomes an expanse, worlds apart, leaving a mark of disappointment in Raphael's heart that seems to grow with every visit to his father. An uncomfortable amount of time passes before Raph resigns, heading towards the door.

"The answers we seek are shrouded in the past. It is close… I can feel it."

Puzzled, Raph doesn't know what to make of Splinter's cryptic statement.

"Raphael."

"Yeah, Sensei?"

"Keep an eye on your brothers."

Another brick of responsibility, another expectation that Raphael is burdened with. Straightening his stance, he readjusts the invisible weight on his shoulders. Raphael is Splinter's fire child, a needed light, a flaming pillar that cannot be extinguished by a few splashes of pressure. Nope, not chance.

"No problem, Sensei," he says with forced confidence he hopes will eventually stick to his current doubts.

Leaving Master Splinter to his mediation, Raph goes to rejoin Mikey. Breakfast between the two brothers is uneventful, with Mikey huffing that eggs aren't supposed to be crunchy and Raph telling him to 'can it.' Raph makes sure Mikey takes his pain medicine and muscle relaxer before they venture into Donnie's lab.

The fluorescent lights flicker twice before buzzing to life, illuminating Donnie's Laboratory of Solitude (that's what Mikey calls it). Raph understands the joke but it still pokes at a regretful part in his heart that wishes Donnie hadn't been in solitude for so long without any of them noticing.

An array of dusty electronic equipment and humming computers greet the two brothers, testifying to Donnie's brilliance.

The sight of Donnie's abandoned inventions weighs heavily on Raph's heart. Taking a deep breath, he pushes down the sorrow threatening to surface, and begins scouring the lab for the maintenance book.

"Hey, Mike, you have any idea where it might be?" Raph asks, cutting through the silent sadness that enveloped the room.

Mikey nods with a yawn, "Yeah. Try that bookshelf over there," he points behind Raph while rubbing his eyes.

"Cool." Raph turns around and gawks at the plethora of books and notebooks tightly packed on each shelf of the weathered bookcase. How it hadn't collapsed under the pure weight of its burden is beyond Raphael.

He stifles a groan as he starts skimming the top shelf. Thank God for his brother's neat-freak tendencies. He use to tease Donnie for his borderline OCD organizational rules. If his brainy brother were here now, he would, without a doubt, shamelessly gloat about the value of alphabetized bookshelves.

"Let's see… Appliance repairs, Brickwork repairs, Duct-tape repairs? …Sheesh, Donnie," Raph laments as he moves down the shelves. "Ha! Maintenance!" Raph exclaims with a victorious smile as he gives strong tug on the five-inch notebook, loosening it from its wedged position. "Yo, Mikey, I found it!" he calls out to Mikey, who had disappeared to explore the other side of the lab.

As Raph jogs over to share the discovery with Mikey, he stops short finding his brother haphazardly asleep on a stool, his good arm propping his hand under cheek. He wobbles slightly on the stool in his drug-induced slumber.

Raph steps quietly behind his shell to wake him but pauses as something on the table draws his attention. Reaching over his brother, Raphael picks up the small picture frame that Mikey had apparently been looking at before he dozed off. The secondhand frame held a photo of Raphael and his brothers. It was taken on their fifteenth mutation day, right before they ventured into the city for the first time without Splinter.

His heart aches at the memory. Placing the frame back on the table, Raph proceeds to wake his brother up before he falls off his stool.

"Mikey," Raph whispers, trying not to wake him abruptly. He gently shakes Mikey's shoulder, calling his name until the youngest turtle stirs, his eyes blinking open in a daze.

"I was just resting my eyes, Raphie," Mikey mumbled, still half-asleep. Raph couldn't help but smirk, finding Mikey's explanation and sleepy tone amusing.

"Sure, Mikey. Let's get you up," Raph replied, his tone gentler now. He supports Mikey, who groggily stumbles to his feet, one arm cradling his damaged limb.

Together, they leave behind the lab as Raph guides Mikey to his room, tucking him into bed with a tenderness that opposed his usual tough demeanor.

"Rest up, little brother," Raph whispers with an unspoken affection. As Mikey drifts back into a heavy slumber, Raph lingers for a moment, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and determination.

Returning to the lab, Raph opens the maintenance book, its pages filled with Donnie's meticulous notes and sketches. He eyes the tangle of pipes in the back corner of the lab that lead to an attached utility room. With a furrowed brow, he begins to decipher the instructions, determined to mend the burst pipe before the next drop in temperature tonight.

Hours pass, and Raph works tirelessly on his hands and knees, his hands now a quick study as he maneuvers tools and materials. In the solitude of the lab, the memories of Donnie echo, a painful reminder of his missing brother. Yet, fueled by the need to protect his family, Raph presses on, each turn of the wrench a silent vow to overcome the upcoming challenges he knows are just beyond the horizon.

As the last bolt tightens, Raph wipes sweat from his brow, surveying the repaired pipe with a sense of accomplishment. A quick glance at the wall clock, tells him he's two hours off schedule with lunch. With the discipline of a weight lifter, Raphael stands, flexing his muscles of inner strength. He's ready to bench press his family's burdens, as the bar rises a little higher every day.

Raph is Splinter's fire child.

Fire doesn't buckle under the weight of demands, it becomes an unyielding force, consuming challenges to fuel its unwavering light.

Translations

yasashī senshi – Gentle warrior

A/N: Thanks so much for stopping by to read my story. Stay tuned for the next chapter! I have so much more in store for our turtle boys.

Be Blessed!

~Poetique