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WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR
A couple days had gone by and Lea noticed Shaun hadn't been at home for the past 2 days in a row. She hadn't heard from him and worried some, but she guessed he was busy at work or maybe he was just leaving too early and arriving too late, like he did sometimes, after all, he's a surgeon, so she didn't think more of it, but she hoped he was all right. She had his phone number, so she could have texted him or called him and asked him if everything was okay, but didn't want to want to bother him and seem nosey.
That night, she was about to get in bed to sleep when she heard a frantic knock on her door, which startled her. —What the hell?— She though, pulled her robe back on and walked quickly to the front door. She opened it, and found a very upset Shaun standing in the hallway. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, his hair was sweaty and messy as if he had run all the way there, or something, his breathing was heavy and fast. She looked at him, puzzled and worried.
"What…" She began to ask but he interrupted her.
"I need - I need a place to stay. I need to hide. I need…" He said, looking around like checking no one was coming, as if someone had been chasing him and he was scared.
"Okay, okay, come in!" She interrupted him and moved aside, he walked into her apartment, right away, nervously.
She closed the door and watched him for a minute with a worried frown on her face.
"Shaun… What happened? You can talk to me about anything, you know that" She said and warily moved closer to him.
She just wanted to know what had happened for him to be in that state. For a moment she felt rage run through her body as she wondered who had done something to Shaun that made him feel like that. She wanted to go out there and fight whoever had hurt him.
He had his hands on his head, pulling his hair some, and kept mumbling stuff Lea couldn't understand.
"Dr Glassman wants me to see a therapist but you - you said no one should force anyone to do something they don't want, and Bobby said I should never let anyone tell me what I can and cannot do, and I - I want to make my own decisions! I want to make my own decisions! I want to make my own decisions!" He kept saying, pacing around her living room, breathing heavy and pulling at his hair
Lea watched him wanting to hug him to comfort him and to stop him from hurting himself somehow, but at the same time, she was afraid he'd not want that, afraid he would reject her and push her away, and afraid it would upset him even more. She had never seen him like this so she didn't know exactly what to do. She felt dumb and useless.
"He's not my father. I don't like fathers. He can't tell me what to do!" He said and she basically hugged herself to remain calm, because the last thing needed, at the moment, was two persons having a meltdown.
"I know…" She moved a bit closer to him trying to look him in the eyes. "Shaun… look at me, please…" He hesitated for a moment then looked at her with teary eyes and she continued "Glassman is not here, okay? He can't take you anywhere. He can't force you to do anything… You're with me, all right? I'm here for you…" She said reaching out for him but he stepped back and looked away, still tense and anxious.
"I - I hit him…" He said and Lea's jaw dropped open a bit, in shock —Oh God…— She said in her mind as she never thought he would ever do something like that but knew that if it was true, then things were even uglier that she had thought.
She stared at him speechless for a moment and he continued.
"I hit Dr. Glassman, I hit him! He hates me, now he hates me. He won't - won't ever want to see me again! I hit him! I - It was an accident. It was an accident…" He kept repeating, hitting the sides of his head with his hands.
"Okay… Shaun, why don't we take some deep breaths?… Okay?… Deep breaths" She said looking at him, grabbed him by the wrists so he would stop hitting himself, and took a deep breath herself, trying to get him to do the same. He looked at her again briefly and copied her taking a deep breath, too, she then did it one more time, and another, and another, and he slowly calmed down, which also calmed her some, then she slowly let go of his wrists.
"Do you want to sit down?" She asked and he looked at the sofa behind him, like studying the option she gave him, for a second, then he sat down and Lea took one last deep breath, just glad he was calmer.
She sat down on the other end of the sofa and they chatted, in a much calmer way, about what had happened that made him so upset. He told her Glassman kept insisting on him seeing a coach or a therapist but he didn't want to. He told her he didn't understand how that would make him happier. She then made him a tea and also made one for herself because God knew she needed it to calm her nerves.
She sat back on the sofa and they chatted some more, but in the middle of that, they heard noises in the hallway and Shaun's apartment. They could hear voices, it was Glassman and a woman, they were looking for Shaun. He got anxious again but Lea managed to calm him down assuring him they wouldn't find him in there
"I Don't want to go, don't want go, don't want…" He mumbled and started hitting the sides of his head with his hands, his body rocking back and forth.
Lea felt her eyes fill up with tears, out of sadness from seeing him like that and desperation because she basically wished she had a magic wand to make it all better, but she didn't. She got up from her side of the sofa, moved closer to him and kneeled down in front of him, gently resting her palms on his knees.
"Shaun… look at me…" She begged him in a soft tone as he rocked back and forth but then he looked into her eyes again and she nodded some, adding "Deep breaths, remember?" She started taking deep breaths again and he mimicked her, getting him to calm down again while some tears trickled down her cheeks.
"You - you're crying…" He said, looking at her with some concern and curiosity, not really understanding why she was crying, too, but worried about it, thinking maybe he had done something wrong.
"I know…" She mumbled and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry…"
"Why? Why are you crying and what are you apologizing for?"
"Because…" She said and sniffled, still kneeling in front of him, then added "I shouldn't be crying… It's the last thing you need right now… but it breaks my heart to see you like this…"
"Oh… But, it's not your fault…" He said and rubbed his eyes some, getting rid of his own tears. "I'm sorry… I made you sad…"
"No, Shaun, you don't need to apologize. You did nothing wrong. Okay?" She scolded him, looking up into his eyes "You did nothing wrong."
"Okay…" He mumbled.
She got off the floor and sat back on the sofa, where she was sitting a moment ago, and sighed. He shyly glanced at her over the corner of his eye, not knowing what to say, so he started rocking back and forth again.
"We should get some rest… it's late… we should sleep this off and hopefully everything will be better in the morning" She said.
"Everything will be better in the morning" He repeated mumbling.
"Yeah…" She mumbled, too and got up from where she was sitting. "Come on… I have a spare bed where you can sleep." She held out her hand for him to hold it but he looked at it hesitantly. She saw that and thought —He's not gonna hold your hand, what were you thinking?— so decided to withdraw her hand, but at that second, Shaun grabbed it and got up from the sofa, as well. She looked up at him and her lips formed the slightest smile, the she gently guided him to her bedroom.
She tried to let go of his hand but he kept ahold of it and she looked at him again, kindly but slightly amused.
"It's okay, Shaun… I just need to pull the pull-out bed" She smiled at him assuringly and he let go of her hand.
She leaned over and pulled another already made bed from under hers. "You can sleep here" She added "I'll give you a pillow in a minute" She turned around, where the closet was, and pulled out a pillow and placed it down on the bed.
"You can put your bag down… and you already know where the bathroom is, in case you need it" She said, but he kept his backpack on and looked around, like studying her bedroom.
He had been in her apartment before, so he definitely knew where the bathroom was, but he had never been in her bedroom.
"I'll… give you some space" She watched him silently for a second then walked out of the bedroom, going back to the living, just giving him some space so he could pull off his clothes or something, in private.
He kept looking around, then he pulled his backpack off his shoulders, carefully placed it down on the floor, pulled off his jacket and kicked off his shoes, neatly accommodating them on the floor, right next to the bed where he was going to sleep; he then picked his backpack again and hugged it protectively as he settled down on the bed.
Lea eventually walked back into the bedroom and smiled when she saw Shaun. She was about to tease him a little about his backpack but decided not to, because she didn't want to maybe upset him again.
Shaun glanced up at her and she smiled kindly at him and asked "Is there anything else you need?"
He shook his head slightly, laying on his back, hugging the backpack to his chest.
"Okay" She climbed onto her bed, reached to turn off the lamp on her night on her bedside table and moved around some, getting comfy under the covers.
There was silence in the room, the only noises around came from outside. She stared up at the ceiling for a moment, the only light coming in was the moonlight filtering through the curtains on her window.
"Lea?" Said Shaun.
"Yes, Shaun?" She replied and he seemed to hesitate about what he was going to say next, until he finally did it.
"Would you… hold my hand again?" He asked.
There was a moment of silence between them since his question had taken Lea by surprise. She didn't know what to say, so she just moved closer to the edge of her bed, laying on her side, and reached out for his hand, in the dark.
He took her hand gently and moved to lay on his side, too. "Thank you."
She smiled softly and felt some tears wet her eyes again, then with a soft voice, she replied. "Any time, Shaun."
She wiped her tears away with her free hand, then closed her eyes. They were both mentally drained, so it didn't take long for them to fall into a deep and much needed sleep, never letting go of each other's hand.
In the morning, a car honking outside startled her awake. She groaned and glanced around, realizing she had held onto Shaun's hand all night. He was still asleep in the exact same position. She smiled softly and observed him for a moment, not wanting to move much as she didn't want to wake him up, because it looked like he was peacefully sleeping and he deserved it, given the events of the previous night.
Shaun's phone starter ringing inside his backpack which startled him awake with a jolt and he looked around panicked, immediately letting go of Lea's hand.
"It's okay, Shaun. You're okay." She said in a soothing voice, trying to calm him, as she saw his confused expression, then he let out a small sigh of relief, pulled his phone out of his backpack and looked at the screen to see who was calling. He had several calls and messages missing.
"Glassman…" He mumbled.
"You really don't want to talk to him, do you? That's okay…" She said reassuringly and he nodded once, then she added "Are you hungry? Do you need anything?" She asked.
"I…" He sat up on his bed and Lea did the same on hers "I'm hungry" He said, realizing he had not eaten since lunch time, the day before, and his stomach was grumbling. "Do you have apples?"
Lea smiled and nodded —At least he has an appetite…— She thought and answered his question "Yes, Shaun. I have apples." She made a habit of having apples at home all the time, since that time she stole his apple, because she knew how much he liked them.
She climbed off her bed and walked out of the bedroom. "Are you coming?" She asked from the kitchen and Shaun joined her a minute later, still holding his backpack.
"What do you have in there that you protect with so much eagerness?" She teased.
He glanced down at his backpack and realized he had been hugging it tightly the whole time. "A picture of me and my brother… and my toiletry bag, my phone and my toy scalpel" He said and Lea smiled kindly handing him an apple.
"You can use the bathroom to brush your teeth or whatever you need. If you want to, of course…" She offered.
"Thank you" he replied and made a pause then continued, making eye contact with her "Thank you for being here for me, for calming me and letting me sleep here… and for letting me hold your hand, last night…" He blushed after the last sentence.
"Any time, Shaunie. That's what friends are for" She said and smiled to him, blushing slightly, too. He nodded some.
Like an hour later, they were sitting by the table, trying to decide what to eat for breakfast. Shaun loved pancakes but he wasn't in the mood for those and apart from the apple he had eaten, he didn't seem to want anything else and Lea didn't want to be the only one eating.
A few minutes later, they heard Glassman's voice, he was on the phone, outside in the hallway "Yeah, just, if you see him or talk to him, let me know…" they heard him say followed by a knock on Lea's door, which startled them both.
Shaun's eyes widened in panic and so did Lea's. He hugged his backpack again and started rocking back and forth on the chair where he was sitting.
—Not again, not under my watch— She thought while seeing how her friend was about to crumble before her eyes again. She moved her pointing finger to her lips, signaling Shaun to stay quiet, then she moved closer to him and mumbled. "Come with me" as Glassman knocked again on her door.
Lea went back to her bedroom and Shaun followed her quietly. She pulled further back the bed frame of the bed where he had slept revealing an empty spot where Shaun could fit in, then in one move, she pulled off all the sheets from the mattress and dumped it all in the laundry basket, so there was no sign that anyone else had slept there.
"Get in there" She said signaling him with her hand but he looked at her unsure. "You want Glassman to find you?" She asked and he shook his head, then immediately laid down on the empty spot and Lea carefully pushed the bed back in its place, leaving Shaun hidden under her bed. She then walked out to her front door and opened it.
Glassman greeted her politely and she acted, the best she could, as if it was just another day and had no idea what was going on.
"May I speak with Shaun please?" He asked catching Lea by surprise.
—How did he…? Wait, he's testing me…— She thought and kept her best game face on.
"Shaun isn't here." She said looking at Glassman, trying to guess what he was going to say next.
"I know you've been helping him and appreciate that but, I really need to speak with him" He said with a sense of urgency.
"I mean, I'll let him know when I see him next but I haven't…"
The old doctor cut her off by stepping into her apartment with a dry "I'm sorry"
Lea couldn't believe her eyes, her jaw dropped in shock and angrily asked "What the hell are you doing?!"
She closed the door and followed the doctor as he walked around the apartment frantically, searching for Shaun in every room, totally invading her privacy.
"I'm gonna call the police if you don't leave. I don't know you. This is completely illegal! Seriously, you have 5 seconds to get the hell out of here!" She said as her anger and nervousness grew.
She didn't want him to find Shaun and, at the same time, she actually feared what this man could do next. All she knew about him was the bits Shaun had told her every other time in their conversations, but she had no idea he would do something like this. —No wonder why Shaun was a mess last night, this guy is a jerk!— She thought while still following the man around. He even pulled out a bit of the bed where Shaun was hiding, but not enough to actually find him.
"I'm calling the police!" She said and grabbed her phone.
When Glassman couldn't find Shaun, he gave up looking and walked back to the living area, raising his hands in defeat.
"Okay, okay, I'll leave… I just, I'm worried about him. He tends to run away when things get difficult and, you know, this isn't college or his hometown anymore, these are the major leagues now… he needs to face things and admit he needs help. He's in a very competitive environment now and people won't cut him any slack, anymore."
"Right now, the only person I think needs help, is YOU. You can't just walk into a stranger's house looking for someone else. What is wrong with you? I don't even know you!" She frowned.
"I know, I'm sorry…" He said with true guilt in his tone and paused for a moment, sighing and realizing what he had just done, then reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet and took a card out of it, then handed it to Lea "Look, here's my number. Please, if you see Shaun or talk to him, will you call me?" He asked politely and she took the card reluctantly.
"Out" She said signaling the door. The doctor nodded once and left.
Once he was out, Lea left out a sigh of relief and felt her whole body was now shaking due to the adrenaline. She took a deep breath trying to relax, then walked back to her bedroom to get Shaun out from where he was hiding.
"That was insane" She said looking down at Shaun as he sat up nodded. She took another deep breath. "What you put me through, Shaunie…" She teased and chuckled. "Come on. What are you gonna do now?" She asked looking at him and he shrugged then stood up and stepped out of the bed frame.
"I don't know." He said.
She sighed and walked out to the kitchen "I'm so thirsty" She said and poured herself a glass of water.
Shaun followed her and nodded at her comment "That's one of the side effects of an adrenaline rush."
"Yeah, well, I just had one of those, so, cheers." She said lifting her glass some then drank all of the water in it and Shaun watched her before his eyes wandered elsewhere, again.
She gasped for air when she finished drinking and left the glass in the sink. "Would you like some water too?"
"Yes, please" He said. She smiled and shortly after, handed him a glass with water. He took it from her carefully and drank some.
"Glassy… He's a jerk" She said looking at Shaun. "You don't have to talk to him all the time about everything if you don't want to…"
"I have to go back to Casper." He interrupted her.
"I mean, I get not liking San Jose. I'm not the biggest fan myself but…"
"I don't want to see a therapist" He interrupted her again.
"So don't. I've told you. NO ONE can force you to do anything you don't want to… but just because you don't want to do something does't mean you have to run away and literally leave town forever or something…"
Shaun moved to the living and sat on the sofa, finally leaving his backpack aside, and listened to her.
"Another advice? NEVER make an important decision while you're angry, sad, high or right before or after having sex. It clouds your judgement… I get that you are overworked, stressed and pissed off, but now it's not the time to make I'm leaving town kind of decisions… You need a break to clear your head, like a vacation."
"I have to work 5 more months before I earn a vacation" He said and Lea arched her brow up.
"Call in sick then" She suggested.
"I'm not sick" He said shaking his head some and she chuckled softly, then sighed amusedly.
"You're so adorable. You don't have to BE sick to call in sick. Gosh, I have so much to teach you, Grasshopper… You know what we need? A good old-fashioned road trip. It's the perfect way to clear your head. And when we return, you're gonna know exactly what to do about San Jose, therapy and Glassy the Grouch" She grinned at him and continued. "All you have to do is call in sick" She moved closer, reached into his backpack and pulled his phone out, then handed it to him.
He hesitantly looked up at her then at his phone and let out a small sigh. "Okay…" He said almost reluctantly and unsure but took his phone from her and she grinned.
"I'm gonna go pack my bag" She said letting out a giggle and jogged to her bedroom, took a duffle bag out from her closed and packed all the essential things she would need for a couple days out.
God knew she needed that road trip too, because her mind had been all over the place lately, but she also wanted to be there for her friend and help him.
She had been offered a promotion at work recently and while it was great and part of her felt accomplished, her other half felt like it was nothing. Her other half was never satisfied, because the truth was, she didn't even like her job. She always felt like there was something missing, because she'd never get out of her head what her true desire was and what she always felt was her calling, it was frustrating.
Once she was done packing, she walked back to the living with her bag and looked at Shaun who was still sitting on the couch, staring at his phone.
"Did you call?" She asked as he was putting his phone back in his backpack.
"I'm ready to go" He replied lying, and Lea narrowed her eyes a bit.
"No, you're not" She said and walked to him. "You're gonna need more than a family photo and a toothbrush, so go take a shower, pack whatever you'd need for 2 or 3 days out and then we'll go" She grabbed his backpack and handed it out to him.
He stood up, held the backpack, and looked at her. "Where are we going?"
"Wherever the car takes us" She answered with a grin but he wasn't impressed.
"I don't like the beach" He stated.
"Okay, I will let the car know. Don't worry, boy" She said and nodded reassuringly. He nodded as well then left her apartment and went to his.
In the mean time, Lea called her boss to let him know she was not going to make it into work for the next couple days because she was sick, then she just sat on the sofa and waited for Shaun, sighing and thinking about the crazy night and morning they had.
MORE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER…