I just want to thank everyone who has been keeping up with this fic, and also thank people in the fandom for being so welcoming and supportive, there's not a lot of fandoms I've connected with like this, so THANK YOU!
EVERYTHING COMES BACK TO YOU
That night, she met up with Sara and other girls at a nightclub.
"I didn't think we'd be hanging out again so soon. I mean, with everything you told me you and your brother are doing, I thought it would take a bit longer to see you again" Sarah said and grinned "But I'm glad you texted!"
"I know… Donnie's just being an idiot lately, I just needed to get away from that, at least for one night, you know?" Lea replied as they got their drinks from the bartender who flirtatiously smiled at her, and she smiled back.
Sarah saw that and chuckled "Damn girl, we just got here and you're already stealing the boys' attention!" She teased and Lea laughed. "Aah, sometimes I wish I was still single" She joked and playfully sighed, to which Lea giggled.
"The single life is good, I can tell you that, but you're very lucky to have found your one" Lea said and sipped some from her drink.
Sarah nodded agreeing "What about you? Have you found the one?"
Lea chuckled shaking her head "I doubt so… I don't know… I mean, what really is the one? It surely is different for everyone"
"Good point, maybe you're right… I think it's safe to say everyone over here thought you and Ben, you know, were in for the long run, or something, until, you know…" Sarah commented and drinks some of her own drink.
Lea's body tensed up at the mention of Ben's name, then asked "Until what?" her brow arched up not knowing what her friend was talking about.
"Well, you know… word is you two didn't end in good terms because…"
"Because what, Sarah?" Lea asked almost interrupting her friend, starting to feel irritated.
"He said you cheated on him and the reason you left town was to be with that guy" Sarah replied feeling awkward.
"Ugh, you have to be freaking kidding me…" She rolled her eyes annoyedly then leaned over the bar and ordered a shot of tequila. Sarah watched her surprised by her reaction and arched her brow up.
Lea chugged her shot as soon as she got it, then turned to Sarah looking at her straight in the eyes.
"I NEVER cheated on him… ugh!" She closed her eyes for a second and sighed "Can we just not talk about him?"
Sarah nodded a little seeing how upsetting that had been for Lea, she didn't want to upset her even more, so she just drank some more and there was a moment of awkward silence between them.
They glanced around awkwardly while people around them chatted and others danced. One of the other girls Sarah came with leaned in to tell her that her and the other girl were going to the bathroom and would be back in a moment, to which Sarah nodded.
Lea felt her phone vibrate in her pocket so she pulled it out and looked at the screen, she had received a text from Shaun.
"Lea,
A patient made me realize something. I felt like when you're in a pool and you just let go and float, when I was with you. I felt free.
Thank you."
She read it and smiled almost from ear to ear. She didn't know why or how Shaun had gotten to such thought but she understood the message —He keeps managing to say the sweetest things… Does he even realize?— She thought while Sarah looked at her.
"Well, look at you. And you say you haven't found the one!" Sarah commented teasingly and grinned.
Lea blushed and chuckled "He's not the one"
"Oh but there is a he, huh?" Sarah grinned even more. "Who is he? What did he text you?"
"You're so nosy!" She laughed some and pushed her phone back in her pocket.
"Oh come on! If he makes you smile like that he's gotta be good!"
Lea rolled her eyes "He's just a friend!"
"Yeah, right… and?"
"And nothing! He was my neighbor back in San Jose…"
"And?" Sarah asked expectantly but Lea was playing hard to get. "Come on!"
Lea rolled her eyes again and huffed annoyed at her friend's insistence, knowing she was not going to stop asking, so she gave up.
"We kissed…well, I kissed him, we kissed, ugh, I don't know…that's it." Lea said a little confused.
Sarah got excited and chuckled "That's it?! What do you mean you don't know? Did you kiss him or he kissed you?"
"I don't know, it's complicated"
"How is a kiss complicated?"
"It just is!" She exclaimed and Sarah arched a brow.
"I don't get it. Do you have feelings for him or not?"
"I… I don't know…" she sighed and added "It does't really matter now, I moved back here, so…" Lea shrugged and ordered another tequila, because her mind was going a thousand miles per hour now, thanks to her friend's inquisitive questions.
"So you had/have feelings for him but you think nothing can be done anymore because of the distance? That's BS and you know it." Sarah stated.
"I don't wanna talk about boys! Let's dance!" She chugged down her second shot of tequila, followed by the drink she had ordered when before, then grabbed Sarah's hand and pulled her towards the dancing area in the club. There, she let go of everything in her head as well as the stress of the day, and they danced away to several songs, going back and forth from the bar to the dance floor, to get drinks and keep on dancing.
At one point during the night, the DJ decided to play something a bit calmer and more romantic to let the crowd cool down a bit before another round of hyped music, then the same song Lea and Shaun sang at karaoke during their trip, started to play.
Lea was a bit too drunk by then but she recognized the song and her face lit up in surprise and excitement, then she excised herself to go to the bathroom, but really she just moved away from her group to go to some corner so she could make a call.
She scrolled through her contacts, then pressed one and held the phone against her ear, waiting for the person to pick up.
"Hello?" Shaun answered after a minute, he was in a surgery so a nurse had to put the phone on speaker.
"Shaunie!" She shouted in a drunk but excited. People in the OR either arched their brows, chuckled or widened their eyes in response to Lea's enthusiasm and Shaun looked at them somewhat embarrassed, then she added "It's the karaoke song! Listen!" She held out her phone so he could listen to the song in the background for a moment, then pressed the phone against her ear again "You remember?"
"I do, of course I do… Lea, are you drunk?" He asked.
"Maybe…" she giggled. "What are you up to, Shaunie? I miss you!"
"Lea, I'm in the OR and everyone is listening to you…"
"Oh…" She said feeling a little embarrassed then giggled again "Hi everyone! I hope the surgery goes well, you rock!"
People in the OR laughed some but Shaun was getting anxious.
"You should go home, Lea, it's late. I have to go, bye" He told the nurse to hang up and he went back to focusing on the patient as his colleagues talked to him about the call.
"Ugh, what a party pooper" Lea said drunkenly after Shaun hung up on her, then she just went back to the dance floor and joined her friends again.
In the morning, she rolled over in bed, her senses started to wake up and her head began to ache, product of the many drinks she had the night before. She groaned softly and slowly opened her eyes, getting startled as soon as she realized a stranger was sleeping next to her.
He seemed naked but the sheets covered half his body, she looked down, peeking under the sheets and realized she was naked, too. Her eyes widened and she sat up, pulling one of the sheets to cover herself, glancing around, also realizing she was in a place she didn't know, probably the guy's apartment.
"God, Lea…" She muttered and rubbed her face with her hands then slowly slipped out of bed, taking the sheet with her as she looked around for her clothes. She moved around the apartment, quietly picking every piece of clothing from the floor that belonged to her. She got dressed as fast as she could and headed out of the apartment before the guy could even wake up. Whoever he was, she didn't want him to think there could be more than that night.
She felt awkward but amused at herself, at the same time; she hadn't done the walk shame in a while, she slept with other guys, of course, specially in San Jose, but never in her hometown, and it had been a while since the last time she did it in San Jose, at least there she didn't have to face her parents when getting back home, because in California, she lived alone.
Once she was out on the street, she looked around trying to figure out where she was and realized she was only a couple blocks away from the nightclub, so she decided to walk to the parking lot where she had left her car the night before.
She found her car and climbed in it, then called Sarah.
"Hey, hey!" Said Sarah in a teasing and amused tone when she answered the phone.
"What the hell happened last night?" Lea asked with concern.
"What do you mean?" She chuckled "We drank, we danced, and then you were hooking up with a random guy"
"Why did you let me go with him?!"
"I wasn't, but you insisted and he didn't look like a bad guy, plus, one of the girls who were with us is friends with him so I didn't worry much, she said he's a good guy and you two seemed to be having fun!"
"God, Sarah…" Lea sighed and leaned over the steering wheel, then started laughing and Sarah laughed with her.
"Was he good?" Sarah asked jokingly and Lea laughed some more.
"I don't even remember how I got to his apartment! I drank too much…"
"But, for what is worth, I don't think I've ever seen you that loose before. I don't know if it was whatever the guy from San Jose texted you or something else but you were having the time of your life"
"It was the booze, Sarah, just the booze" Lea giggled.
"Whatever, you're gonna have to tell me more about this guy at some point, I'm gonna get it out of you one way or another"
Lea laughed some "You can try all you want!"
"Oh you bet I will!" Sarah laughed some, too.
"We should go out some other day, again, before your wedding"
"I agree!" Sarah said excitedly.
"All right then, I gotta get back home, shower, eat something, etcetera, you know… I'll call you or text you later, yeah?"
"Sure thing girl!"
They hung up and Lea drove out of the parking lot, parked outside of a Jimmy John's to get a sandwich, then got back to the car and played some music while driving back to her parents' house; after all that had happened the day before, she was thankfully in a better mood.
Let's Fall In Love For The Night by Finneas was playing so she sang and danced to it in her seat as she drove.
"I love it when you talk that nerdy shit…" She sang and smiled because those words reminded her of Shaun.
There were times she didn't understand a single thing he was saying but she always loved when he'd nerd out about the things he was really interested in, like medicine. Not only she'd learn things, but she loved how passionate he was about his work, and also admired it, although sometimes she'd get headaches from all the information there was to process and it was hard to take him away from those topics, because he could just go on and on all day.
As she drove, she passed an area full of trees on either side of the road, which reminded her of her road trip with Shaun, how he said he liked trees and her, then she also remembered the smells from that moment, the leather from the seats, the wet soil and the pine trees.
—"I bought a Royal Pine car-freshener, it reminds me of our road trip"— She thought about his text and smiled, stopped the car on the side of the road and got out of it to take a photo of herself smiling with the trees in the background, then wrote a message to Shaun.
"Thinking about pine trees… and you" and sent it along with the photo she had just taken.
She got back in the car and drove again as This Heart's On Fire by Wolf Parade played, to which Lea sang and danced as well.
Later that week, Sarah and Lea met again for lunch. Lea helped her with some last details for her wedding and helped her plan some sort of bachelorette party at the club they went to the other night.
"I can't believe this is happening… I feel bad for going away and not being here for you all that time…" Lea said with guilt in her voice and Sarah shook her head.
"Don't worry… It all was weird but I'm sure you had a good reason for leaving like that, and I don't hold any grudges against you, so, it's okay" Sarah said placing a hand on Leah's shoulder to comfort her and smiled kindly at her. "I'm just glad you're back safe and sound and we're friends again!" She grinned and Lea nodded smiling, too.
"Thank you… for not holding grudges and for not pushing me to talk about what happened…"
Sarah nodded understandingly. "What I AM going to push you to talk about is that boy from San Jose" She grinned mischievously.
Lea rolled her eyes and facepalmed herself. "You're really not going to let that go, will you?"
Sarah shook her head and giggled some. "Nope, not until you tell me"
"I already told you it's nothing, we're just friends! He's living his life out there and I'm living mine here. We - I - we kissed a couple times but that's it…"
"Woah, woah, woah!" Sara said lifting her palm signaling Lea to stop talking, then added "What? I thought you just kissed once, but there was a second? Okay… I still don't understand the confusion about you kissing him or him kissing you, what's up with that?"
"Ugh… uhm…" Lea said while toying some with her glass as she thought about how to tell Sarah about what had happened with Shaun.
"Okay, first thing first, you told me he was your neighbor, so, I suppose that's how you two met?" Sarah asked and Lea nodded in response.
"Yeah, and then we became friends… like, we'd talk in the hallway or he'd come over to my apartment to chat, I'd invite him over to eat an apple or have dinner and chat, stuff like that…"
Sarah chuckled "You used to invite him to eat apples?"
Lea blushed and chuckled, too "He loves apples, okay?! You can't make fun of someone for liking apples."
"Okay, okay!" Sarah chuckled again just picturing the scene in her head " What's his name? What does he do? Is he a good guy?"
Lea huffed amusedly and shook her head "So nosy!"
Sarah laughed "What? I gotta make sure my friend gets a good man!
Lea rolled her eyes "His name is Shaun, and I'm not going to get him… but he is like the best guy I've known, literally… and he's a currently a surgery resident"
"Damn!" Sarah exclaimed in surprise.
"That's basically what I said when he told me" She laughed softly and Sarah chuckled.
"So how did you two go from eating apples to kissing?"
"We both needed to go away to clear our heads for different reasons, so we went on a road trip, we ended up getting drunk and we kissed… but then he had to throw up, it was his first time drinking tequila so, can't blame him…"
Sarah laughed some "I'm not even going to ask how it was possible that it was his first time drinking tequila, but, okay. So, when did the second kiss happened?"
"When I left San Jose" Lea replied remembering that moment.
"So it was a drunk kiss and a goodbye kiss?"
"No, I did want to kiss him… they weren't just kisses for fun or because I was leaving…" Lea admitted to Sarah and mainly to herself.
Sarah's brow arched "So, I don't understand. He's the best guy you've known and you do have feelings for him, what am I missing?"
Lea sighed "I just… I don't want a relationship… and he's not the kid of guy you use; that sounds so wrong, but well, he's not the kind of guy you use to blow off steam one night, or the kind you just date for a couple months…"
"So he's like marriage material?" Sarah said almost interrupting Lea and she nodded some.
"I guess…" She replied and shrugged slightly.
"Wow…" Sarah said and Lea nodded again, then she sighed "I think he has feelings for me, too… but he deserves better"
"What do you mean? You're great! Hell, if I wasn't straight, I would have married you!" They laughed some.
"Well, thanks! But I just don't want that… not right now, I don't know when. Heck, I don't even know if I want that at all…"
"We can all change our minds, look at me, I spent all my childhood saying I was never going to get married and here I am, weeks away from doing exactly that!" She giggled and Lea laughed some, then Sarah added "It's okay if you don't want that now but don't leave it out of the table… and if this guys is so good, don't leave him out of the table either, for all we know, he could end up being the love of your life" She chuckled and Lea rolled her eyes giggling some
"You've become so cheesy!" Lea commented.
"Ugh, I know!" Sarah said annoyed at herself and they both laughed.
Time flew by, Sarah's Bachelorette party happened, and yes, Lea slept yet with another random guy at the end of that night.
The wedding came and Lea told Shaun all about it on one of the video chats they had, where he told her about a certain tuxedo he bought to go to an annual fundraiser at the hospital, which had Lea thrilled, because she knew he was going to look pretty good in it and she wished she had been there to see him.
She learned Glassy was interested in someone and advised Shaun to push him to open up with this woman so they could become friends and maybe more, which, hopefully, could perhaps make him less grouchy, and Shaun also told her more about his new neighbor and friend, Kenny, whom had apparently become someone important in Shaun's life because he kept mentioning him and the things they did together.
He seemed happy, she was happy, and things seemed to be going well… until they weren't…
"I told you this wouldn't work, but you're always stubborn! You never listen!" Donnie shouted at Lea due to his anger while their parents stood there, in the living room, quietly.
"First of all, it wasn't my fault that the piece didn't arrive earlier, and second, we'll just put the car in some other auction, calm down!"
"This isn't just about the car…" Her mom said but Donnie interrupted her.
"Calm down? Seriously, Lea?! We don't have any more money! We invested way too much in that car just to satisfy your whim because you can't let go of things! What are we gonna do now, huh? You really think someone's going to pay more than all the money we invested for that car and then all of the shop's problems will be fixed and magically people will start coming again? Grow up Lea!"
"I have to admit it was pretty naive of you, even us, to think that it was going to work" Her dad said.
"At least I can say that I tried, dad! Just one year, ONE YEAR and you all gave up. You saw people stopped going to the shop and you didn't even try anything, you were just like 'Oh well, We're going to sell it, whatever…' you never even wanted the shop! She said that last sentence looking back at her brother, and continued "I always questioned Grandpa Rod's decision. You never really liked being there, you only worked there because you had nothing else to do and grandpa Rod didn't want you out there wasting your time, maybe he left it to you because he wanted you to do something out of it, for your own good, so that you'd make something of your life, but you failed"
"Oh so you're better than everyone else, huh? You think just because you went to college and are a nerd with your computer, you're somehow superior to everyone else here?" Donnie questioned her.
"No, Donnie, I'm not better than anyone else, you could have gone to college too, the option was always there but you didn't want to, and that's nobody's problem but yours, it was your decision. You gave up on yourself and the shop, that's all I'm saying"
"So I give up. What about you when you left town just because you and Ben broke up? Wasn't that giving up too?"
"Don't be an ass. What does that even have to do with all this? You don't even know why him and I broke up" She said just getting angry at the mention of her relationship with Ben.
"We know you cheated on him…" Her mom said disappointedly and Lea gasped in disbelief then she rubbed her face with her hands.
"Did you think he wouldn't tell me? We're best friends Lea! I still can't believe you did that to him" Said Donnie.
Lea rolled her eyes and sighed, exasperated at her family, but she didn't want to explain to them what had happened between her and Ben, nor wanted to argue with them about it, because she thought it was none of their business.
She just felt done arguing with them. "You know what? Sell the shop, do whatever the hell you want. I'm going to sell that car and give you back your part of the money, and just so you know, there's always two sides to a story, so next time you're about to judge someone, think about it twice and make sure you know the whole story first, BOTH SIDES, before any of you open your mouth!"
"Don't talk to us like that!" Her dad warned her.
"What are you gonna do now, run away again like you did years ago?" Donnie asked challengingly while Lea grabbed her bag, trying not to start crying in front of them, and he continued "Because you can't handle someone making you face the truth of who you really are? Because you can't handle anyone…"
"Screw you, Donnie!" She interrupted him sharply.
"Lea!" Her mom shouted as a warning.
"No, mom! You don't know anything about me" Lea continued "You're my family and yet it's like you don't know me, you don't even bother! You only see what you want to see and believe everything anyone tells you!… I don't owe you any explanations, so, whatever I do from now on and whatever I did years ago is none of your goddamn business!" She shouted then she left the house, full of anger and disappointment.
She got in the car and, with shaky hands texted Sarah.
"Hey, are you busy? Can we meet up, like, now?" She sent the text and anxiously waited for a reply, just trying not to burst into tears.
Sarah replied and sent her the address to her new place then Lea drove over to her house, thinking about how everything she had gone back to Hershey for had slipped through her fingers like water, how her dream turned into a nightmare, how her family didn't believe in her, except of her grandma, of course, but it was hard to digest how they thought of her as a person who runs away from trouble, a cheater, a selfish person, etcetera, and it hurt her a lot.
She arrived to Sarah's place, rang the doorbell, her friend opened the door with a smile, and lea tried to smile back but failed, making Sarah realize she wasn't okay.
"Hey… what's wrong?" Sarah asked with concern and leaned over to hug Lea whom automatically started crying. Sarah closed the door behind them with one of her hands while she kept holding Lea with her other arm, and continued "Lea…what happened?"
Lea pulled away from the hug sobbing and with a trembling voice replied: "Everything went to shit ... It's like I can't do anything right, I screw up everything!"
"What are you talking about? Come on, let's sit down," Sarah said and led her into the living room, then they sat on the couch and she offered Lea some tissues.
"The car I was working on with Donnie, we didn't finish on time for the auction, we argued and then he said a bunch of bullshit… and my parents…" She sobbed some again and wiped her nose with a tissue, then added "It's not exactly what they said or think, you know? I can handle it, because there's things they don't know. What hurts is that it comes from them, my family!" She wiped her tears and continued "It's like they've lost all faith on me based on what some idiot told them and God knows what else…"
"I'm sorry" Sarah said and leave over to hug Lea again.
"They don't even care, you know what's the first thing they asked when I came back? 'Why are you here?'… No 'Hey kid, are you okay? We missed you' or something, my grandma was the only one who said those things. My dad looked around wondering if I had brought someone with me and my mom said Shaun was probably just one of my boys" Lea said and shook her head.
Sarah sighed and pulled back from the hug "Maybe you should explain to them what happened with Ben? Maybe they would understand and be easier on you?" She suggested.
Lea had finally told Sarah what had happened between her and Ben but she asked her friend to say nothing to anyone else, and Sarah respected that.
"I don't want them to be easier on me out of pity, I want them to just be normal loving and supporting parents, no matter what, just like they are with Donnie, their prodigal son, but no, I seriously don't know what the hell I did for them to be like that with me, I don't get it… They want to fit me in a box where I don't belong, they want this perfect girl, or something, and I'm far from perfect, THEY aren't even perfect themselves, no one is! But they like to pretend they somehow are and it is ridiculous…" She said frustrated and angry.
Sarah nodded a little, understanding, then asked "What are you going to do now?"
Lea thought about the question for a moment and remembered the time she asked Shaun the exact same thing, before they went on a road trip, and the advice she had given him then "NEVER make an important decision while you're angry, sad, high or right before or after having sex".
"Lea?" Sarah asked as her friend had drifted off into her mind.
Lea blinked a couple times coming back to reality and sighed "There's nothing left for me here…"
Sarah sighed "So you're leaving again?"
"I just… there's really nothing… my family is a mess, I don't have a job and it would be kind of hard for me to find something here, my savings account is almost empty… I don't know…" She sighed, too.
"You could stay with me and Michael until you get back on track, if you want…"
Lea smiled at her friend and kindly replied "I couldn't do that, you two literally just got married…"
"We wouldn't mind, I promise" Sarah said but Lea shook hear head softly. Sarah sighed and added "Where are you gonna go then?"
"I don't know…" Lea said thinking about it for a moment "I never liked the competitiveness of Silicon Valley but I had a good job there, and it would be easier to find another one there"
Sarah nodded giving her the reason "And there's someone for you there" She teased trying to lighten the mood.
Lea chuckled and shook her head amusedly, to what Sarah grinned, glad she had made her friend smile.
"I haven't heard from him in like a month or so, actually…" Lea said somewhat disappointed and sad.
"Is he okay? Have you called him or texted him?" Sarah asked.
"I have but he hasn't answered or replied… I hope he's okay… I mean, sometimes he gets really busy, I don't know… I don't remember saying anything that might have upset him or something that would make him ignore me…"
"I'm sure you did nothing wrong, maybe he is just busy, like you said"
Lea nodded and began overthinking about why Shaun wasn't answering her calls or messages.
"Maybe you should let him know you'll be going back to San Jose, I'm sure he'll be excited" Sarah said and smiled.
She smiled, too and thought about it "Maybe I should surprise him"
Sarah grinned and asked "Will you give him a chance?" But it made Lea nervous.
"I don't know…" She mumbled and shook her head a little, then sighed, just thinking about everything.
Remember you can leave your comments on this site or find me on Twitter as Zos4Life, I'm always glad to have a chat with anyone about the show or fanfics. THANK YOU FOR READING!