Hey! Another week, another chapter. I know it's been taking me a bit longer than usual to post but it's because I'm trying to make the chapters a bit longer and also figure out a bunch of stuff about the show and somehow write my own version of it, for a change.

I hope you like this new chapter. Thanks for reading!

HEART TO HEART

"Can we talk today? Please?" She texted him in the morning.

Even if she was going to move out of his apartment as soon as she found her own place, she wanted things between her and Shaun to be okay, but he kept ignoring her messages and calls, not only throughout the day, but throughout the night, as well.

"Come on, Shaun, you can't keep ignoring me, let's talk"

"Shaun, we need to talk, please"

"I know your shift ends at 7 p.m. Can we go for dinner and talk?"

—You've got to be kidding me— She thought at around 11 p.m. realizing Shaun wouldn't make it home that night, either.

"At least call me or text me to let me know you're still alive and well, or something!" She texted him and exasperatedly left her phone aside as she rolled onto her side to sleep, because she had other interviews to attend in the morning, and her frustration had grown into anger.

The next day, she went to the interviews she had scheduled and met up with a former co-worker who shared some contacts with her so that she could call them and send them her resume. She tried hard to focus on getting a new job, but her mind kept going back to Shaun and how he was still avoiding her, so that night, she thought —If the mountain won't come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain…—

She went to the hospital and waited outside on a bench, thinking about the exact words she wanted to say to him, because at that point, she was quiet mad at him, to the point where she even wondered if keeping a friendship with Shaun was something sane for them both…

She waited for about an hour, then Shaun walked out of the hospital and saw her sitting on the bench where he usually sits to wait for the bus, then he approached her cautiously.

"You're here…" He said interrupting Lea's thoughts.

"I am" She replied, looking at him as he sat next to her, close enough to have a conversation with her but not as close as to invade hers or his own personal space, then she angrily added "I'm here because SOMEONE was being immature and was refusing to have proper conversation like the two adults that we are"

"Okay" He said almost interrupting her, lifting his hands in defeat, and getting tense at the realization of how mad she was, then added "I'm sorry"

"Are you really? Or you just want me to shut up because I'm mad and I'm making you uncomfortable?" She stared at him for a moment but quickly got even more frustrated "You know what? It doesn't matter" She added and grabbed her purse "I just came to let you know that you're not the only one who has feelings, Shaun. You're not the only one who needs someone who doesn't judge them, and you're NOT the only one who, every now and then, needs a person who makes them feel like at least there's someone there who will listen and gives a damn about them, you jackass!" She snapped at him, got up from the bench and walked away, leaving Shaun sitting, unsure of what to say or do.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, Morgan had walked out of the hospital too and saw everything from the door, then, when Lea left, she approached Shaun "Guess I was wrong. She does think of you like a real man" She said, related to a conversation she had had with him, about Lea, during their 36 hour shift. "You're gonna have to really make an effort to fix this mess if you don't want to loose her as your friend, you know?" She added, then walked away too.

Lea got into her car and was so mad that she clenched the steering wheel tightly with her hands and groaned loudly, angrily yanking the steering wheel back and forth, just frustrated by everything, then she took a deep breath to calm herself, and thought that she wasn't going to be able to see Shaun or talk to him anymore that night due to her anger, so she drove to a hotel to stay there for the night.

In the meantime, Shaun had gone back to his apartment, thinking Lea was going to be there so they could talk, but she wasn't.

"Where are you?" He texted her.

Lea was already in her hotel room when she saw his text and sighed, she was still mad at him but she wasn't going to be like him and ignore him.

"At a hotel. Can't argue anymore tonight… I'll be out of your apartment in 48 hours, don't worry." She replied and put her phone away, then ordered dinner and searched for an apartments on her tablet.

Early in the morning, she messaged an estate agent about an apartment she saw the night before on a site, then checked out of the hotel and headed back to Shaun's apartment.

When she arrived, he was in the bedroom, buttoning up his shirt as he was getting ready for the day, she left her phone and purse o the table and, without saying a word to him, walked to where her bags were.

"Good morning" He said, watching her as she kinda hurriedly pulled out some clothes from one of her bags.

"Morning…" She muttered.

"Do you want to eat breakfast with me today? We could go to that place you mentioned days ago" He offered, as if nothing had happened the night before, which frustrated Lea.

"I don't have time" She said flatly, on one hand because she really didn't have time and, and on the other, she was somehow getting back at him for that time he rejected having lunch with her.

"Oh…" He said, still watching her, then she looked at him, while holding her clothes and bath stuff.

"I need to take a shower, I could have done it at the hotel but I still needed to come back to get clean clothes, so… do you mind?"

"I don't mind" He answered, and she headed into the bathroom.

While she showered, the estate agent she had texted, called her. Shaun heard the vibrating noise and followed it to find where it was coming from, then saw Lea's phone on the table and he curiously leaned over to look at the screen as the phone kept vibrating, the call went to voice mail and, a minute later, a message notification appeared on the screen, it was from the estate agent saying there was an opening to show her the apartment that day and also sent the time and the address, which Shaun managed to read quickly before the phone's screen went back to black.

Minutes later, Lea walked out of the bathroom all dressed up and ready for the day.

"You got a call and a message from an estate agent about an apartment" He said, standing by the table.

She frowned and asked, annoyedly "Are you looking through my stuff?"

"Your phone was vibrating, the noise was distracting and I had to find where it was coming from" He explained and pointed to her phone.

She walked to the table and side eyed him, grabbed her phone and checked the message he was talking about.

"What about your old apartment? You could move back to it. Kenny got arrested, so it's empty again" He mentioned.

"I don't think being neighbors again is such a great idea" She replied and moved to grab her laptop bag, then pushed her phone and iPad into it.

"Mmh… We could have lunch later" He said completely changing the topic and it angered Lea how he was just acting as if their fight from the night before had never happened, or as if he had done nothing wrong. She came to realize he actually didn't see something was wrong, so she sighed and moved closer to him again.

"Shaun? Look at me for a moment, please" She asked looking up at him and he looked at her briefly, then she added "We had a fight… do you understand that? You can't - I can't just pretend nothing happened. I'm still mad at you"

He nodded a little and looked away "I said I'm sorry last night, I've invited you to eat pancakes and I am inviting you to eat lunch, I don't know what else to do" He shrugged.

Lea sighed exasperatedly "This isn't going to go away just because you just said sorry but didn't even mean it, or because you invite me to eat pancakes or lunch, Shaun…" She argued, then looked at the time on her wrist watch "I'm gonna be late. I have an interview and then I have to do my least favorite thing in the world…" She muttered and headed out of the apartment.

Shaun watched her go and realized Morgan was right, saying sorry wasn't enough and he was going to have to make a big effort to win Lea back.

Lea tried to contain some of her excitement as she left the building where the interview took place. She had been hired for a better position than the one she had originally applied for, so she walked out smiling and waving to random people, just happy that at least something was finally going right.

She went to one of her favorite places in town for brunch, then to the meeting with the estate agent at the apartment she was interested in.

"Dammit! I wanted the one with one bedroom…" She whined after the agent informed her that the apartment she was interested in had just been rented and was showing her a two bedroom apartment instead.

"Ugh, you didn't tell me this one had a fireplace! I just fell in love with it but I can't afford it, and that's just plain cruel…" She said as she walked into the living area of the apartment

"You fall in love very quickly" Said Shaun as walked in and Lea automatically looked at him, shocked by his presence.

"What are you doing here?" Lea asked kinda annoyed.

"You said you hated apartment hunting so I decided to help you. I found an apartment, cheaper than this one, with comparable amenities. I wrote down the address" He said walking closer to her and showing her a paper he was holding. "I'm being nice" He added and nodded, smiling a little.

"How did you even get here? Are you following me around?" She asked, still weirded out by the situation.

Shaun chuckled "No, I saw the address on the message notification your phone showed this morning while you were in the shower"

Lea gasped softly and shook her head in disbelief, then rolled her eyes "I didn't ask for your help, Shaun, nor do I want it or need it" She said and walked out of the apartment, the happiness she had achieved that day went back to frustration.

The estate agent and Shaun looked at each other awkwardly for a brief moment then Shaun walked to the door to leave too and the agent handed him a flyer on his way out.

Lea got in her car and groaned frustratedly, then drove away thinking —What kind of weird way of apologizing is this? If that's what he's even trying to do… Why can't he see how hurtful he was? Who told him pancakes or lunch would magically fix what he's done? Sure, I hurt him, but what about how he hurt me?—

She drove around town for a while, to relax, then she stopped at a park and sat on a bench to think about her next move. She knew there was no way she was going to find an apartment in the next 24 hours, and she figured if she spent any more time in the same place with Shaun, things would end up even worse, so, for the sake of both of them, she decided she was going at least get an Airbnb to stay at until she found an apartment she liked and could afford, so she pulled out her phone and began her search, but was interrupted by a message from Sarah.

"How's San Jose treating you?"

Lea read the message and sighed, on one side because her reply wasn't going to be what Sarah probably expected, and on the other, she thought the message from her friend was like a God sent gift or something, because she really wanted to talk to her friend but also had been avoiding calling or texting her because she didn't want to ruin Sarah's honeymoon with the mess her life was.

"Ugh… Maybe coming back here was a mistake too" Lea replied.

"What? What happened?" Sarah texted back but before Lea could reply again, Sarah was calling her through FaceTime.

Lea answered the call and held her phone at arm length to talk to her friend.

"What happened?" Sarah asked, with a nice looking beach in the background.

"You shouldn't be doing this, you should be enjoying your honeymoon! I feel so bad, I mean, look at that view, Sarah! You should hang up and go enjoy that beach!"

"Nah-ah" Sarah shook her head "We're talking about you right now, I have plenty of days to enjoy the beach, don't worry… So, what happened?"

Lea sighed "Okay, fine… turns out Shaun wasn't happy about me coming back to San Jose"

"What? Why?"

Lea shrugged "Turns out he lied, back then when he said he was okay with me leaving, and apparently it hurt him more than I thought, and missing me hurt him even more, so he told me to go back to Hershey or anywhere other than his apartment"

"So you were staying with him?"

Lea nodded a little "When I arrived, I asked if I could crash at his place, at least until I found an apartment, he said 'okay'… he actually barely said anything that night, and stupid me thought he was just tired, but then he started to avoid me, and I thought he was just busy, until he bluntly and angrily told me to go away… I'm such an idiot…" She sighed.

"Okay, first of all, stop with that, you're not an idiot nor stupid, and, he's being an ass! Like, why didn't he say something from the moment you arrived?"

"Apparently it took him days to figure out how he really felt about my return… I wish he would have told me that, like 'You know what? I don't know how I feel' instead of avoid me while he figured it out…" Said Lea and Sarah nodded.

"Have you talked to him since then?"

"I wanted to talk things out but he kept avoiding me, so I went to his workplace and basically snapped at him, then I told him I'd be out of his apartment in 48 hours and I slept at a hotel. Now he's being… I don't know… this morning he was acting like nothing happened, I think he's trying to apologize but, I don't want or need the things that he's doing, I just want him to be honest and talk!"

"Why don't you tell him that?" Sarah suggested.

"I just don't want to argue anymore… he doesn't understand that just saying sorry without meaning it, doesn't fix things" Lea sighed.

"You two need to talk, like, properly talk, have a heart to heart, vent, etc…" Said Sarah's husband in the background as he was listening to everything.

"And maybe… you know…" Sarah suggested teasingly and smirked.

"Sarah, no…" Lea cut her off, and gave her friend a stern look "Don't even go there, it's not happening, EVER… all this has changed things"

Sarah rolled her eyes "Lea…"

"I said no" She cut her off again.

"All right! Jeez!" Sarah exclaimed accepting her defeat.

Lea sighed "I have to go, I'm gonna go get my stuff and move to an Airbnb or something. I will call you tomorrow or some other day, because you two need to enjoy your honeymoon!" She insisted.

Sarah grinned and nodded "Let me know what happens!"

"Okay. Bye Michael!"

They all said their goodbyes and hung up, then Lea continued her search for an Airbnb but she couldn't find any available for the dates she wanted to book it for, so she just got up from the bench and walked back to her car.

—Another night at a hotel…— She thought

Around evening time, she drove back to Shaun's apartment to get her stuff. She entered the apartment and walked down the small hall that led to the living/dining/kitchen area, but a voice startled her and she immediately stopped walking.

"Tequila…STAT" Shaun said, turned on machine with a disco ball, and their karaoke song started playing in the background as the tv showed the lyrics and every room in the apartment was illuminated by colorful dancing lights produced by the disco ball.

Lea stood there in shock and glanced up at the lights, then looked at Shaun who was holding the mic up to his mouth.

"I went big" He said excitedly then started to sing.

Lea sighed and exasperatedly walked over to the karaoke machine, paused the song and looked at Shaun again.

"In other circumstances, this would have been cute and maybe even romantic… not this time though…"

Shaun just stood there holding the mic with both hands, almost hugging it against his chest, and Lea continued.

"I mean…" She shook her head slightly, then added "Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I just wanted you to be there for me, to be my friend and listen?… I don't need any of this grand gestures… I came back because Hershey turned into a damn nightmare and I basically lost my family…" Her voice started to break as her eyes began to fill up with tears "I had nowhere to go, but I thought, I have a friend back in San Jose, a guy like no other I've ever met, because he's open, kind, honest, and sweet… but I came back to find out that I was wrong, and you kind of are like everyone else…" She sniffled and wiped away a tear while Shaun just listened quietly and she continued talking.

"You lied to me saying you were okay with me leaving, then you ghosted me for a month for no apparent reason… I come back wanting to surprise you and spend time with you, and stupid me was even here cooking you a nice dinner after you couldn't have lunch with me, but you didn't show up, and I thought, 'maybe he's just busy' but turns out you were avoiding me like the plague because you were so angry about me hurting YOU, but… what about how you hurt ME?… Friendship is a two way street, Shaun… Despite me leaving and being away, I've been a good friend, always there to listen and help if I could, when you most needed someone… you couldn't even listen to me, you never even asked me once 'What happened in Hershey?', 'Are you okay?… It's like you don't even care… like you're somebody else…"

She stared at him for a moment, expecting to see some sort of reaction from him, but there was nothing. She shook her head slightly in frustration, sniffled again and walked past him.

"I just came to get my stuff…" She said, picked some of her belongings, shoved them into one of her bags, then walked past Shaun again, carrying her bags, placed the spare key she had on the table "Thanks for letting me crash…" she added, then walked to the door and left the apartment, unsure about where her friendship with him was going to end up.

Next morning she woke up with a headache, as if she had gotten drunk the night before, sure, she drank a shot or two from the minibar in her hotel room but she didn't get drunk, there was just too much going on in her mind, she slept but felt like her brain had been awake the whole time, thinking about a million things without taking a single break during the night, but luckily it was her last free day before starting at her new job.

—I need coffee…— She thought and sat up on the bed, looked around, then sighed indolently, because she was at a cheap hotel, so if she wanted any sort of breakfast she had to go down to the small cafeteria or go somewhere else, and she didn't feel in the mood for that.

Meanwhile, in his apartment, Shaun was already up and ready to go, but he wasn't planning on heading to work just yet, he made some calls and arrangements, then he texted Lea.

"Can I come over?… Wherever you are." He asked.

Lea's phone vibrated on the bedside table and she reached for it, read his text and sighed again, not sure if she was ready to talk to him again.

"Friendship is a two way street" He texted again, like meaning it was his turn to talk.

Lea's brow arched up and thought —You dare using my own spells against me, Potter?—

"I see…" She said sassily into the air, but she knew he was right, after all, she had told him that for a reason, so she replied to him sending him the name and address of the hotel she was at.

About half an hour later, Shaun knocked on her door and she opened it, still in her pyjamas and with bed hair, they looked at each other for a second and she couldn't help to notice the bruise on his cheekbone that was just slightly starting to turn blue/purple, but she didn't want to ask about it just yet.

She moved aside so he could walk inside, and he did, then she closed the door and turned around to look at him as he stood near the bed, glancing around the bedroom, and that's all they did for a couple of minutes, until, a little impatiently, Lea spoke.

"So?" She said raising a brow and Shaun sat on one corner of the bed.

"I'm figuring out where to start" He said, still glancing around like gathering up his words in his mind.

Lea nodded once and mouthed "Right…" still watching him.

"I shouldn't have told you to go away… It wasn't very nice and you've always been nice to me… You've been a good friend" He said fiddling with his fingers, then added "I was very sad when you left…and I didn't lie when I said I understood why you were leaving, but I never said I was okay with it… You were my only friend back then and then you went away, I didn't know what to do… and then it was a shock when you came back, because I don't like surprises, and I didn't know how I felt… Claire said 'That's great, you must be so excited' but I was confused… I didn't know why you came back and I didn't want to ask because I was just overwhelmed with everything… I didn't know what to do…"

She listened to him and quietly moved to sit on a chair that was right next to a small desk in the room, and he continued.

"I was confused and that made me even more angry and I didn't like that feeling, so I thought if you went away the feeling would go away too, but Claire said I shouldn't push a good friend away, then Morgan said that you and Claire were not my friends because you two wanted to take care of me like a pet but didn't take me seriously as a man, I told her kissed me but she said it had been a pity kiss and if you thought of me as a man, you wouldn't have settled for just one peck…"

Lea frowned and huffed in disbelief, then angrily interrupted him "What the heck does she even know?!"

"I'm not done yet!" He told her as a reminder that it was his turn to talk and not hers.

"I'm sorry" She said and sighed, leaning back on the chair and crossing her arms over her chest, in a sulking manner.

He nodded once, and continued "She then said she was wrong… she saw you yelling at me outside the hospital and she said she was wrong and that you do think of me as a man… she also said I had to fix things, if I didn't want to lose you as a friend, so I tried to fix things but you were too mad at me. The anesthesiologist told me to be nice, and I tried that but it didn't work, Alex said I should make a statement and go big, but that didn't work either, and Dr. Melendez said I should walk away, but I don't want to walk away… I tried to dazzle you but I don't want to dump you" He shook his head.

Lea watched and listened to him, starting to feel bad about everything, but also mad at whoever Morgan was, because she didn't like someone who she doesn't even know, analyzing her and her actions, specially when they don't know a single thing about her, it made her blood boil, but what mattered at that moment was Shaun, so she remained quiet and let him continue.

"Also, you said I ghosted you, but that was sort of an accident" He said and Lea arched her eyebrow, not understanding how ghosting someone can be done as an accident, then he added "That was around the time I was trying to help Dr. Glassman with his brain tumor, I made a mistake and he lost his job as president of the hospital because of me, but I figured out how to help him and he had surgery a few days ago, it went well but then he was hallucinating, he's fine now, and he is my friend again" He nodded again.

Lea stared at him in shock. "Shaun, I… why didn't you tell me? At what point, I mean, why did you stop telling me things?"

"I was very busy and I had to prove to Dr. Andrews that I was worth keeping as a surgery resident at St. Bonaventure, after the mistake I made which almost killed a patient"

"God…" Lea said and shook her head, then Shaun continued.

"I… I care about you… I don't care about what happened in Hershey but I do care that you care, because it hurt you and I don't like to see you hurting… but I don't always know how to respond to certain things, I don't always know how to help nor how to express myself because I often feel too much and it's overwhelming, and a lot of times I don't know what you or others feel, sometimes I don't even know how I feel, how am I supposed to know how you feel?"

"You could ask" She answered.

"You could also tell me…"

She nodded thinking —Fair enough— , then silence invaded the room while she stared at him and he glanced around, until he spoke again.

"Do you not want to be my friend anymore?" He asked.

"Of course I want to, Shaun… I feel like such an idiot now… I should have been here for you, and you should have told me about Glassy, but I understand the whole thing had your mind occupied…just… next whenever/if something happens again, and you don't know how you feel, just let me know that, be honest with me… don't just push me away" She said looking into his eyes.

He nodded once in agreement, then stated "You're not an idiot"

She smiled softly at him but hid some guilt behind that smile. Both had somehow made mistakes in communicating, and she felt bad because she had judged him wrong, it wasn't that he was being an asshole, it was just the way he feels and processes things, part of who he is, and something she still had a lot to learn about and get used to.

She looked away and took a deep breath, she just wanted to leave all that mess behind them and move on, start from zero if needed.

There was another moment of silence between them, then, changing the subject, she asked "Do you still want to go to that new place to eat pancakes?"

He looked at her, let out a happy sigh of relief and replied with a smile "Oh, yes!"

She grinned at his excitement and nodded "All right, I'm gonna take a shower, get dressed and then we can go"

He grinned and nodded in response, she got up from the chair she was sitting on, pulled out some clothes from one of her bags, and headed into the bathroom, leaving a happy Shaun sitting on the bed.

They were at the restaurant Lea had gone to the day after she returned to San Jose, both ordered pancakes, milk and juice to eat, and while they waited for their food in silence, Lea stared at Shaun and the bruise on his cheekbone, while he looked around. It was intriguing and made her somewhat anxious because she really wanted to know what had happened but she also didn't want to be nosy, she tried hard not to ask but couldn't help it in the end.

"What even happened to your face? Are you okay?" She finally let out.

"A patient hit me… I'm fine" Shaun said, still glancing around.

"What?!" She said surprised and frowned slightly, reaching out to touch his cheek to check it, like a worried mom checking her kid after he got hurt, but Shaun tilted his head away and she immediately pulled her hand back "Sorry… How did that happen?"

"He has Fragile X Syndrome, his mom got taken away for surgery, he got anxious and I stayed with him, I tried to hold him back but he hit me" He explained and shrugged "Like that time I had a meltdown and I hit Dr. Glassman…"

"Oof…" She said as the waiter got back to their table and placed their plates in front of them. "Thank you" She said to the waiter.

Shaun stared at his pancakes then moved his face closer to the plate, like inspecting them and Lea arched a brow, watching him amusedly.

"They look just like in the picture you sent me" He said.

"I know, right?" She replied and giggled.

They started to eat and Lea asked what Fragile X Syndrome was, so Shaun explained it to her, but she really just wanted to hear him talk because she had missed that about him, then they talked about Glassman and his tumor, and they spent quiet some time at the restaurant, eating and chatting, until Shaun looked at the time on his watch.

"I have to go" He said.

"Aw, really?" She whined as she wanted to spend more time with him but knew he had to work "Well… You want a ride to the hospital?"

"Yes, please" He said with a little smile.

Lea grinned and signaled the waiter to bring the check, then, after paying, both headed out to the Stripped Tomato and she drove to the hospital. It was a quiet ride, Shaun seemed thoughtful and she was just happy that things between them were fine again.

"Are you going to stay with me again?" He asked out of the blue.

"Uhm… I don't know, may I?" She looked at him quickly while driving.

"You can" He nodded, then, as if it was nothing and right when Lea was about to park the car outside the hospital, he added "I rented that apartment you liked for us to share"

Lea stepped on the break, making the car stop abruptly with a small squeak from the tires, and she stared front in shock, then looked at Shaun.

He pulled the spare key for his apartment out of his pocket, got out of the car with his backpack, and put the key on the seat.

"I'll see you later" He said and closed the door before walking away, while Lea just stared, still in shock...