Time for Some Extracurricular Gangster Shit
"How much C4 is too much?" Kuma asked as he put his lunch down on the table. "Whatever you're thinking, No you can't" Bandit replied back immediately. "I just want to carbomb Team CRDL" Kuma whined. "In my opinion I say fuck use it all of it" added a not-sober Vandal "I have extra if you want it" Mek said trying to help. "We're gonna get arrested" Bandit explained. "I'll just wait for the statute of limitations to run out" Kuma told him. "Terrorism doesn't get that" "Why the fuck not?!" The entire cafeteria was watching the unhinged conversation continue while Cardin and his cronies were slowly backing away in abject terror. "NO, YOU CANT SLIT THEIR THROATS IN THEIR SLEEP" "Whhhhyyyyyy" "THAT STRAIGHT UP MURDER" "You've killed people before""Yes, I have, guess what I am, A FUCKIN MURDERER" "wait wat" "Oh Mek you didn't know" Vandal said, picking his head off the table. "Yea I've killed two slavers in Vacuo, a dirty cop in Argus and four kiddie diddlers" "Fuckin hell" "I have pictures" Bandit said as he produced his scroll and showed them. "That's the slaver" "is his entire ribcage gone?""Those aren't his intestines" "are you eating a taco on his corpse?" "Yes" "...was it good?" "THATS your fuckin question!?!" "What!!" Mek just threw up in a nearby trash can. "You good?" Bandit asked, looking a little concerned. "Bleh" "You're good."
"EAT THIS" BOOM "I'm still alive. You. Fucking. Amateur!" A series of clashes and gunfire erupts "Eat shit salmon slut" "is that supposed be a bear slur" "FUCK OFF" another explosion followed that "Now I'm motivated" Kuma says as he drops his smoking shield and drawing his katana. "shit" Kuma raised his sword and held it next to face having it run parallel to the ground and lowered into low stance. Next to him two spectral swordsmen manifested ready to fight. One was holding a nodachi that resembled his father's. The other specter was wielding a wakizashi that looked exactly like his mother's. "FUCK, Bring it!" Mek yelled out as he deployed Rooster and tried to pull out a short sword but he was swarmed by the three bears, knocking away his hand stopping him rearming himself. In retaliation he summoned his own semblance Outbreak to even the odds and three maroon spikes emerged from his chest. Two of the spikes grabbed ahold of the specters and smashed them together while Kuma dodged the third. "Relying on numbers won't do you any good" Mek stated as the spikes retracted and brought out Kami and Kaze. "Let's give you a taste of the good shit, DIVINE WIND!" Mek screamed out as Kami and Kaze combined into a rocket-powered gauntlet and delivered an explosive haymaker into the bear's chest. Kuma was knocked out the ring and was slammed into the wall of the sparring room. "Good job but the fight isn't over" Bandit praised as Mek celebrated until a sword slashed across his back and the two specters restrained him. Kuma ,in all his bruised and beaten glory, loaded his rifle and shot Mek in the face. Several times. "Bitch" Kuma spat out and then promptly collapsed out of exhaustion. "That was exciting" Vandal commented as he read a book on the side of the ring. The book was suddenly impaled by an arrow from a mechanic with no fucks left. "Well that was rude." Vandal said as he sat up from the floor. Another arrow grazed his cheek as an equally pissed bear took his bow back and fired. "Jesus Christ I'm leaving" "Who the fuck is Jesus?"
"So how was Forever Falls" Mek asked "I nearly killed Team CRDL and fought an Ursa" Jaune responded. "Nice dead racists are the best racists." Kuma cheered from his bed. "Any reason for killing Cardin" Vandal inquired. "Oh he tried to blackmail me or something into hurting Pyrrha so after a little struggle, I shield bashed him into some jars of sap, his team tried helping him up, rapier wasps came and started stinging them and all their crying brought the Ursa" Jaune paused to breathe. "When they saw it they run like a bunch of cowards and left me alone to fight, I was doing ok but then I saw Pyrrha watching me so I winked at her and threw the Ursa over my shield and shot it in the face but now I'm panicking cuz Pyrrha hasn't said anything to me and is avoiding me and I'm scared I messed up or mayb-" "Shut the fuck up and go ask her out." Vandal interrupted. "WHAT NO she won't interested in a loser like me" "I saw the champ she's avoiding you because her face won't stop turning red every five seconds" "Also I'm pretty sure a loser wouldn't be smooth enough to flirt and fight at the same time." "Anyways where's Coraline at" "You're doing it on purpose" Bandit enters carrying a box. "Wats dat" Mek asks with a glimmer in his eye. "Pure unfiltered meth I mean dust crystals" "Oh this that good shit how'd you get it?" Kuma questions. "I 'helped' Roman Torchwick" Bandit answered with a smirk. "You fuckin robbed a known criminal!" "Yup" "Do you think I can snort these?" Mek asked picking up a crystal. "PUT IT DOWN" was the response he got along with a sword to his throat. "Geez bossy much" "Yes I'm literally team leader and I also hired you, I am The Boss" Bandit proclaimed. "More like the Bitch" SMACK "Ow" Mek whined as he rubbed his cheek. "Now shut up and help sort these by type and purity." "Is it always like this here?" Jaune asked. "Yup" "Pretty much" "Ye" "Ok I'm leaving"
"DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE" Bandit yelled as he banged on the van and fired down the alleyway. "Why the fuck are White Fang in Vale!?!" Vandal complained while he stomped on the gas. "GO FASTER THEY'RE GAINING ON US" Mek screamed out as he reloaded his rifle. "For FUCKS SAKE, I can't get away from these assholes" Kuma remarked firing an explosive arrow at an approaching car of White Fang. "Time for some fuck shit, get ready to bail!!!" Vandal said as he raced into the water." "Oh FUCK YOU" "I HATE MY LIFE" "EAT MY DICK VIC" the rest of Team CKIM seemed to not like that as they fell into the harbor. As they breached from the water a voice could be heard. Instinctively the entire team hugged the wall in order to hide from their pursuers. "Well they're either dead or gone by now let's wrap this up" said a distinct voice. "Roman Fuckin Torchwich is working with the White Fang, something is up and we're gonna find out what it is." Bandit declared. "Time to be heroes boys" The rest of the team gave determined nod of agreement in response. "And Vic you are gonna retrieve all that dust from the water, Whit is going to be coming for the festival and he needs that for some dope shit." "Fuck me" "No"