Life with the Night Furies Chapter 10

Chief Pugpoodle the Hirsute waved his arms to make sure all attention was on him. "Viking chiefs, mighty leaders of your tribes! Listen to me, because I have something very important to say," he began. "The proud and unstoppable Berserker tribe has a history that goes back for eleven generations. Our ancestors sailed here directly from Danmörk, and our original line of chiefs could trace their lineage all the way back to the very first Vikings. We were among the first to settle in the Barbaric Archipelago, and we have always held a position of respect and leadership whenever the twelve tribes get together. Our warriors are second to none; our fishing fleets are always more productive than those of any other tribe; our traders have traveled to..."

Rangi stifled a yawn. "Does this have anything to do with them declaring war on us?" he whispered to Chief Night Fury.

"At Thing, chief must talk for half hour before say anything important," the black dragon murmured back. "Otherwise, other chiefs think he has nothing worth saying. Be patient. Bad news come soon enough."

"You're sure we're going to win this vote?" the young man asked, with a touch of nervousness. The Viking code of blood and death hadn't taken root in his mind; war was not something he was looking forward to.

"Twelve tribes, twelve votes," Hiccup began. "We vote no, of course. Bog-Burglar, Bashem-Oik, Meathead, Hysteric chiefs bribed with dragon swords; they not vote against us. Visithug, Murderous chiefs threatened; they not vote against us either. Lava-Louts not here. Uglithugs, Thunderheads, Northlanders, Berserkers all against us; can't change their minds. Four against us, seven not against us. I think we win."

On and on the Berserker chief went. No one even prentended to pay attention as he recited his tribe's past glories, establishing his right to speak today (even though Viking law guaranteed him that right, no matter what his tribe had done in the past). At last, he took a breath and said, "And that brings me to today, and a crisis that threatens all of us."

He pointed angrily at Chief Night Fury. "This... this so-called chief represents a threat to the Barbaric Archipelago, the likes of which we have never seen. My unlamented predecessor, Chief Dagur the Deranged, launched a pre-emptive strike against Berk because he knew they were amassing a dragon army. He brought the entire mighty force of the Berserker tribe to bear against them. It should have been a simple matter, over and done with in a week or two; the Berserkers would win, Berk would lose, we would take a few captives and some plunder, they would swear never to do anything against us again, and the usual mistrustful peace would return to the Archipelago. But that didn't happen. Why didn't it happen? Did they use a newly-invented secret weapon against us? Did they kidnap all our women in the night and hold them for ransom? Did they rob another tribe of all its gold and silver, and use that money to bribe us into declaring peace?

"No! I tell you, no! Any of those tactics would have been a typical move for a weaker Viking tribe to fight a stronger tribe. Maybe they might have worked against us, and maybe they wouldn't. The fortunes of war can be a fickle thing. But they didn't do any of those things. They didn't even try! Instead, they violated every rule and tradition of Viking warfare, by using... dragons!... against us. We never saw a single Berk warrior, never fought a single Berk longship. All we saw were Deadly Nadders, Monstrous Nightmares, Hideous Zipplebacks, a seemingly endless flock of Gronckles, and above all, those triply-accursed Night Furies, raining death and destruction from above, without giving us a fair chance to fight back! I ask you, is this any way for a law-abiding Viking tribe to fight a war?" Mutterings and head-shakes all around suggested that most of the chiefs agreed with him.

"Now, don't get me wrong," Pugpoodle added. "I'm a fair-minded chief, and I'm not closed to new ideas. We fought a war, and sometimes, when you fight, you lose. It happens to the best of us, even though it should not have happened to us. But it did, it's done, the war is over, and no one is fighting anymore. Our mistrustful peace is back, just like it should have been."

He pointed angrily at Hiccup again. "So why does Berk continue to maintain its dragon army, and even make it stronger with each passing month? There can be only one reason. Berk has gotten a taste of victory through air power, and now they want more. Fighting to protect themselves isn't enough for them anymore. They must be planning to attack all of us and defeat us, one tribe at a time, until they are the dominant power in the Archipelago! They will use their hateful dragons as their sword, while they cower in the safety of their little island, letting the lizards do their dirty work, and then cleaning up all the plunder when the reptiles have had their way with the rest of us! I ask you, is that any way for Vikings to fight?"

Nearly every male voice shouted, "No!" Even Madguts broke his silence to join the chorus.

"Are we going to sit here and wait for the dragons to take us out, one after the other, until there's nothing left but a great pile of ashes, with Berk sitting on top of the pile?"

"No!"

"Are we chiefs going to take action today?"

"Yes!" most of them shouted. A few shouted, "No! I mean yes!" Mogadon looked confused and asked, "Was that a trick question?"

"This isn't about the Berserkers trying to get even with Berk after losing a war against them," Pugpoodle continued.

"Yes, it is!" Rangi shouted, unbidden.

"You hold your tongue, boy, or I'll cut it out!" the Berserker chief shouted back. "This isn't about revenge. This is about survival! The survival of our tribes, the survival of our traditions, the survival of our Viking way of life!"

"Amen! Preach it, brother!" Arngrim called.

"But I am not an irrational, vengeful man," Pugpoodle went on, softening slightly. "Well, no worse than any other Viking chief. I'm not looking to pay Berk back for what they did to us. All I want... all that any of us wants... is a guarantee that Berk will never use its dragons against us, ever again. Their chief must give his word here, before the Law-speaker and all the chiefs assembled, that Berk will never again use a WMD – Warfare of Many Dragons. Then he must prove that his words are true by disbanding his dragon army and getting all the dragons off of Berk. If he does this, then the Berserker tribe will be satisfied. We desire no permanent harm to befall Berk; after all, they're Vikings just like us. All we want is to be sure that our children won't be burned in their beds by Berk's flying proxy-warriors, just to satisfy this dragon-chief's lust for power. Law-speaker, is there anything illegal about this request of mine?"

After thinking silently for nearly a minute, Warhamster said, "There is nothing unlawful about this request."

"Excellent," Pugpoodle nodded. "Then, as chief of the Berserker tribe, I request that this proposal be put to a vote."

"Wait a minute!" Bertha shouted. "We need a chance to discuss this and make comments before we vote on it."

"Are you on Berk's side, Bertha?" Ug asked dangerously.

"I think we're required to have a time of comment before we vote," she said, slightly hesitant. "Isn't that the law?"

"Yes, it is the law," Warhamster said with no hesitation at all.

"Well, I've got no comments except, 'Let's do this!' " Snorre rumbled.

"Likewise," Ug snapped. "If Berk won't even look us in the eye when they fight us, then they don't deserve to be called Vikings!"

"You are entitled to your opinion," the Law-speaker countered, "but because the proposal involves Berk, then Berk must be given a chance to say something about it."

Chief Night Fury nodded and stepped forward, with Rangi right next to him. He walked steadily toward Ug, who nervously fingered the hilt of his sword. As the dragon got closer and glared at him, the Uglithug chief backed off and quavered, "What is it doing?"

"He's doing exactly what you asked," Rangi said. "He's looking you in the eye." The Night Fury nodded in satisfaction – Rangi had guessed his intentions – and backed off. He sat down, which made him taller than any of them, and made his puppy-dog-eyed face, which threw the others off. Then he began speaking in Forge, with Rangi translating. The official translator added a few words of his own to make the speech sound more impressive; Hiccup glanced at him in surprise now and then, but didn't object.

"Berk, like the Berserkers, has a long history among the Vikings of the Archipelago. Our history with the Berserker tribe is almost as long. That relationship has sometimes been profitable, and it has sometimes been stormy. But those of you who know how to spell will have to admit, you can't spell 'Berserker' without 'Berk.' " He paused to let them think that one over. "We are not an ancient tribe like the Berserkers. Our time in this Archipelago goes back only seven generations, and there are several conflicting stories about who our ancestors were and how they got here. We remain one of the smallest tribes here. We have had to fight for our survival, both against other Viking tribes and against the dragons, who thought we were an easy target because we were so small.

"But we found a way to change the dragons' minds about us. They stopped raiding us and killing us. They even help us in some ways now. When we –"

"Traitors!" Arngrim Dammen shouted.

"Silence, Arngrim!" the Law-speaker ordered. "Berk has the right to speak. That's the law."

"Thank you, Law-speaker," Hiccup nodded. "When we were attacked by the Berserkers, it was not from a broken treaty, or a boundary dispute, or a quest for plunder. It was an attempt by the Berserkers to wipe our entire tribe off the map."

"That's not true!" Pugpoodle shouted. "We just wanted to take out your dragons, nothing more."

"I'll quote the words of your own chief," the Night Fury rumbled; Rangi was sweating from the strain of translating so many words so quickly. "Dagur the Deranged said, 'My warriors will swarm off my ships and turn this island into a smoking wasteland!' He said, 'Maybe we aren't ready to wipe you and your cold-blooded friends off the face of the earth today, but I'll soon fix that!' Are those the words of a punitive expedition? Or are those the words of genocide?" He turned to Warhamster. "Law-speaker, if a chief said words like those to another chief during a Thing, what would the legal implications be?"

"The legal what?" Mogadon didn't like big words.

"Legally, those words would imply a war of annihilation," the Law-speaker said slowly. "Of course, Vikings say things like that all the time, and they don't really mean it."

"But Dagur meant it," Chief Night Fury responded, "and he proved it with multiple attacks, using the full strength of his tribe against us. Just like Pugpoodle would like to do to us again."

"Pugpoodle hasn't said anything about attacking you, you paranoid lizard!" Gumboil shouted. It wasn't clear whether he was speaking for Madguts or not.

"No?" Hiccup countered. "If the chiefs vote that we should get rid of our dragons, and we refuse, what will happen then?"

No one answered, but they all knew the answer. War.

"Berk is willing to promise that we won't use our dragons in any offensive attack on another Viking tribe," Chief Night Fury went on. "Like the Berserkers, we want peace among the Vikings; it's good for trade, and we can raid other non-Viking groups if we want to, without having to watch our backs. But if we are attacked, like the Berserkers attacked us once already, then we will use any and all of our weapons to defend ourselves, just like any of you would do. If your intentions are really peaceful, then this counter-offer won't pose you any problems; you'll accept it without an argument. But if our counter-offer isn't good enough for you, then we'll have to assume that you want to attack us. You're demanding that we keep our best sword in its scabbard when we defend ourselves against you, for no reason except that you're afraid of it. Berk will never agree to that."

"How could you prove that you'd never attack us with dragons?" Kurlee demanded.

"We're willing to share our dragon secrets with all of you," Hiccup said through his interpreter. "You could all make a truce with the dragons so they won't attack any of you, and that includes the dragons of Berk. You could –"

"Never!" Mogadon shouted, and all the other men echoed, "Never!"

Norbert added, "I'll allow dragons in my camp when Muspelheim freezes over!"

"In case you've forgotten, there's a dragon in your camp right now," Rangi reminded him.

"That's not my fault," Norbert answered.

"Chief Night Fury, do you have anything else to say?" Warhamster asked him.

"We've almost made our case, Law-speaker," Chief Night Fury replied. "We want peace, but we will not leave ourselves defenseless against hostile tribes that are larger than we are. We have made a fair counter-offer to prove our good intentions, and those good intentions have been swept aside. Besides, if Berk rids itself of its dragons, then what happens to me and my family? I, my wife, and both of my sons-in-law were born human and free. Does the Thing have the right to force us out of our tribe, to live in caves and holes in the ground? Will you make us worse than slaves, simply because you're afraid of what we've become?"

"Are you telling us," Ug rumbled, "that you've got more than one dragon who used to be a Berk Viking?"

Rangi continued to translate as Hiccup gave Pugpoodle a sly look. "My wife and I were both freeborn citizens of Berk. My sons-in-law, one of whom is watching these proceedings from near Rangi's tent, were freeborn citizens of the Berserker tribe."

Pugpoodle was instantly outraged. "The Berserker tribe?! You've got my subjects on your island? I demand that you give them back immediately, or you'll get war anyway!"

"Skip the threats, Chief Pugpoodle," Rangi said before Chief Night Fury could open his mouth. "We captured those two as prisoners, fair and square, during the war that your tribe started. When the war ended, they both freely chose to stay on Berk and become part of our tribe. They don't want to go back, and I don't think you can force us to cast them out."

"Agreed," Warhamster nodded. "That is the law."

"Besides," Rangi went on, "they're dragons now, and you hate dragons. Why would you even want them back?" Pugpoodle had no answer to that. Hiccup nodded in approval at his aide's quick thinking.

When no one else spoke, Warhamster asked, "Does anyone else have any comments before we put the Berserkers' proposal to a vote?"

Pugpoodle was slowly losing his temper. "I think we've heard enough, Law-speaker. Call the roll!"

The old man waited a few seconds to see if anyone else had something to say, then nodded. "Very well. The Berserker tribe demands that the Hairy Hooligan tribe renounce dragon warfare and disband their dragon army. When I call your tribe's name, declare how you vote on this demand. Visithugs!"

Nastinardle stood, and hesitated. He remembered the sheep on his front doorstep. "The Visithugs are undecided."

"You're what?" Pugpoodle was furious.

"I'll explain it later," the Visithug chief said lamely.

"Uglithugs!"

Chief Ug stood. "The Uglithugs vote 'yes.' " Pugpoodle relaxed slightly.

"Bog-Burglars!"

Bertha stood. "The Bog-Burglars vote 'present.' "

"Bertha, as soon as we've settled with Berk, you and your tribe will be next," the Berserker chief muttered.

"Does that mean you think that women are as bad as dragons?" she asked archly.

"There are some similarities," Pugpoodle shot back.

"Save it, both of you!" Warhamster snapped. "Murderous!"

Madguts and Gumboil stood. The chief mumbled something, which caused his assistant to burst out, "What?! Chief, are you sure?" More mumblings. Gumboil turned to face the Law-speaker. "For reasons that I don't pretend to understand, Madguts the Murderous chooses not to vote."

"Are all my friends betraying me?" Pugpoodle demanded. Apparently, Madguts had nothing further to say.

"Berserkers!"

"The Berserkers vote 'yes,' of course," Pugpoodle said smugly.

"Bashem-Oiks!"

Chief Kurlee stood slowly. "The Bashem-Oiks vote... umm... we vote 'yes.' "

"You what?" Rangi burst out. He slapped his belt seax twice to remind the Bashem-Oik chief of the swords that Berk had given him in exchange for his neutrality. In response, Kurlee held up a leather bag with the Berserker emblem on it. He shook the bag; it jingled. He laughed nervously with a "Nyuk nyuk nyuk" sound.

"Berserkers offer better bribe, outbid us," Chief Night Fury grunted. "No more seven against four; is six against five. Did Berserkers outbid us for other tribes? Do not like this."

"Lava-Louts! No, that's right, they aren't here. Meatheads!"

Mogadon stood and faced away from Pugpoodle. "The Meatheads vote neither way."

Pugpoodle was displeased. "Make up your mind whose side you're on, Mogadon."

"I'm on my side!" the Meathead chief answered loudly.

"Thunderheads!"

"We vote yes!" Snorre bellowed. "We aren't afraid to take a Viking stand against those dragons!"

"Northlanders!"

Arngrim Dammen slowly stood. "We... vote... yes," he said quietly.

"Hysterics!"

Chief Norbert the Nutjob stood up and patted the new sword that hung from his belt. "The Hysteric tribe votes 'no comment.' "

"Hairy Hooligans!"

Hiccup grunted once. "The Hairy Hooligans of Berk vote 'no,' " Rangi said.

The Law-speaker nodded. "There are five 'yes' votes, one 'no' vote, and five tribes abstaining," he said.

"Five to one! We win!" Pugpoodle crowed.

"No, Chief Pugpoodle. Five out of twelve is not a majority."

"But we won the popular vote! Shouldn't the one who got the most votes be the winner?"

Warhamster shook his head firmly. "You need a majority of the tribes, not a majority of the votes, Pugpoodle! The law is the law. That particular law goes back hundreds of years; you can't change it by wishful thinking. The votes have been tallied, and the Berserkers' issue is –"

"Hey, wait a minute!" came a raspy voice. They all looked to see a short, stocky man running toward them, wearing the fireproof suit of the Lava-Louts.

"Chief Lunklunk," Warhamster said calmly. "It's good of you to join us. Please explain why you're so late. And don't use the 'unfavorable winds' excuse that you used last year."

"I wish it was about unfavorable winds!" Lunklunk said, irritated. "A flock of Terrible Terrors decided it would be fun to wipe out my tribe's entire fleet, from my flagship down to the fishing boats! I had no way of getting here; I thought I was going to miss the whole Thing. But, luckily for me, Trader Johann showed up in our harbor the next day. He demanded half a year's worth of our trade goods as his price for breaking his schedule and bringing me here... but I paid him, and I'm here. What's going on? What have I missed?"

"We haven't gotten very far," Warhamster said. "We were just ending the discussion on a Berserker motion that Berk should disband its dragon army."

"Dragon army?" Chief Lunklunk's face darkened. "I'm angrier than usual at dragons these days. The Lava-Lout tribe votes 'yes' on that motion, and on any other motion that goes against the dragons."

"Uh-oh," Hiccup said quietly.

"The vote is a tie now?" Rangi whispered in the dragon's ear.

"Yes, so we use tie-breaker," the dragon murmured back, flicking his ear flaps nervously. "This bad, very bad."

"There are now six votes out of twelve in favor of the Berserkers' resolution," the Law-speaker said formally. "We must go to the tie-breakers, the thirteenth tribe who normally do not get a voice in the Thing." He turned to his senior assistant. "Run and bring the thirteenth chief. I believe you will find his tent on the shore to the north of here." The man left at a run, and returned about fifteen minutes later along with Chief Alvin of the Outcasts, in full battle dress.

"Law-speaker Warhamster, it's good to see you again!" Alvin rasped. "I know the law about how Outcasts aren't welcome at the Thing, but I came anyway, just in case you needed me for something. It looks like I guessed right. How can I help you today? Do you need somebody to get..." He drew his finger across his throat with a rending noise.

"No, nothing like that, Alvin. We need a tie-breaking vote," the Law-speaker said patiently. He tersely explained the Berserkers' position and the status of the voting.

Alvin grinned wickedly. "I've had enough of dragons, especially Berk's dragons! The Outcasts vote 'yes!' "

"It's done, then!" Pugpoodle shouted, pointing skyward. "Seven to six in favor! Berk, you must disband your dragon army and swear to never use them again, or you'll face the wrath of the combined tribes. You can choose peace, or you can choose complete destruction. What is your decision?"

Grunt, yowl, growl. "Chief Night Fury says he can't disband himself, and he can't leave his tribe and his island defenseless. Berk has no choice but to reject this decision."

"Then you leave the rest of us no choice, either," Ug threatened. "This is war."

"And I'll strike the first blow!" Snorre shouted. He picked up a spear from off the ground and hurled it with all his might, straight into Chief Night Fury's chest.