Harems are awesome and 2d 3d. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
Haha, now that the little introductory joke/quip/thingie is out of the way, I can properly introduce myself. Hello, I'm the same guy as the one who's been writing so far, and I am totally not a reptilian clone or some sort of evil android sent to replace him.
I come again, fellow humans, to deliver some entertainment to you all in a written form, so that we may respond in suitably human forms, with various emotions such as joy, sadness, and so on and so forth.
As I said in the last chapter, I recently opened up a Pat reon for myself, and, if you feel curious about you, you can find it at Pat reon -dot- com -slash- FrancoGamerxz.
Now, onwards to the story!
-x-
The night was cold and silent.
"OH GOD, GIVE IT TO ME, BIG BOY!"
...Half of that sentence was true, but it was not the silent part, unfortunately for a certain Hyoudou Issei.
He would, however, tolerate any sort of bone-chilling cold if it meant that he didn't have to listen to his parents playing 'swords and scabbards' during the time period he was supposed to be sleeping.
'I... I can't keep going like this! If something doesn't change very soon I'll go and do something drastic, like shave my hair and move to France! The french are quiet enough to allow people their sleep, right?'
"YES, RIGHT THERE!"
'Maybe France isn't far enough? Scandinavia? Norway? Maybe I'll move to the South Pole or something, I heard somewhere that they were employing people for construction work there... Or was that a manga I read? Man, I'm so tired I can't even tell reality from fiction!'
'While I get that you're going through very traumatic experiences and all, aren't you being just a tad bit dramatic? I mean, moving to France?'
'What would you suggest then, oh wise old dragon?'
Purposefuly ignoring Issei's sarcasm in the knowledge that it'd annoy him more than acknowledging it, Ddraig responded.
'How about you just move out of here? Buy yourself a new house, or rent an appartment or something more reasonable.'
'Yeah, but aren't you forgetting something? Those things tend to require money, something that I don't have!'
'So you don't have money... But you were planning on moving to France?'
'...I'm sleep-deprived AND traumatized, cut me some slack!'
'Sure, sure, it's the sleep-deprivation and trauma. It totally wasnt just a reflection of your intellect, or lack of it anyway...'
'...Sometimes I hate you, you know?'
'No sometimes here, kid, it's a constant state of loathing from me.'
"IYAAAAAAAAHN!"
Issei flinched before he could give Ddraig his biting, cheeky, sarcastic response of high intellect - Hey, what's with that snort!? - a single thought going through his mind as the response to his problems.
'I need to get a job.'
-x-
"Zzz... No, you can't take it... The cake is... Mumblemumble..."
Humans are beings of habit. They prefer to live their lives in an orderly manner, following on previously established patterns, even if it often meant living lives full of self-delusion or self-destruction, and wallowing in mediocrity, awkwardness, self-recrimination and guilt, if it allowed one to stay within their comfort zone.
One of the primary comfort zones for humans was the social ladder. Some people are at the top, others at the bottom, and most people tend to stick to where they reach at all costs, least they be forced into a situation that is different than what they were used to. It doesn't even need to be a worse situation, it just needs to be different, unknown.
The unknown is, after all, one of humanity's greatest fears.
And that is part of the reason why the students of Kuoh were perfectly fine to forget everything that had been said and done during the Club Recruitment Day by a certain first year student.
Hyoudou Issei was change personified. Between his physical attractiveness, his generally apathetic and irritable - sleep deprived, but they wouldn't know it - behavior, his surprising demonstration of happiness and cheer amongst his friends, and his ability to switch on a dime and effortlessly kick the crap out of delinquents, both physically and morally, Issei was pretty much a hurricane within a jar, liable to get loose and toss everything into the chaos that people preferred not to deal with.
So, with all of this known, it was a no-brainer that people resumed their previous treatment of Issei, not stopping for even a second to reflect on the previous day's events, and the fact that the brunette seemed to be deeper than his usual delinquent image tended to convey.
This did not, however, mean that these people were safe from the hurricane of change.
No. Issei was already amongst them, so it was far too late. Directly or indirectly, the boy had the ability to throw things into disarray, and these same people that fought so dearly to adhere to the status quo were going to be shaken to their core.
A few minutes had passed since they bell for lunch period rung, and while the majority of the class was still organizing themselves into their social groups, lunchboxes in hand, Issei was catching up on his sleep. A small buzz filled the classroom as the various students held their conversations, the regular murmur of a large amount of people having conversations within an enclosed space, yet this buzz was silenced altogether when the door to their classroom was slid open.
Few chose to look towards the figure that had just entered the classroom, but the fact that the gazes of this few stayed on the figure with interest prompted the others around them to look as well, until everybody in the classroom had their eyes locked onto the figure of Shinra Tsubaki, the Vice-President of Kuoh Acadamy's student council.
Tsubaki's gaze roved around the classrom, widening slightly in recognition as they landed on the a certain brunette - with a single purple bang - young man.
"Hyoudou Issei-san?"
Issei, who had woken up at the ring of the lunch bell and was preparing to go eat his lunch outside with Motohama, Matsuda and Aika, turned towards the source of the voice, before speaking up.
"Yes?"
Tsubaki adjusted her glasses, the motion causing her breasts to lightly bounce, though the slight grimace she bit back showed that the act was accidental. She was surprised when Issei's gaze stayed firmly meeting her own, even as his two male companions started giggling perversely amongst each other, and the sole female in the group fixed the Vice-President with a penetrating gaze that caused a single chill to go through her. Pushing all of this aside, Tsubaki spoke up.
"My name is Shinra Tsubaki, and I am the Vice-President of Kuoh academy's Student Council. I have been sent here by the president, Shitori Souna, in order to request your presence in the council room."
Ignoring the storm of whispers that emerged from around the classroom, Issei answered.
"Is this a request, or is it a Request?"
Blinking lightly at the question, Tsubaki answered nonetheless.
"Souna-kaichou made it clear that the invite was optional, and that any response you gave was to be respected."
Issei traded looks with Aika, since Motohama and Matsuda were still off in la-la-land, the two shrugging before Issei stood up from his seat, sliding his bento back into his bag.
"Lead the way."
-x-
"Enter."
Sona - or rather Souna, as the general student populace knew her as - spoke with little to no inflection in response to the pair of knocks that sounded from the Student Council Room's door, even as she sat behind her desk, reading through a stack of papers.
She wasn't surprised to see the form of Hyoudou Issei walking into the room, though she was surprised at the sharpness of his gaze as he looked around it, his eyes seemingly moving without missing a detail.
'Curiouser and curiouser...'
Sona remained silent, watching Issei as he analyzed the room, the clicking of the door being closed by Tsubaki and her walking past him and positioning herself behind her president being only peripherally acknowledged by him, as if the two people other than him that were present in the room were secondary to his curiosity.
After a few moments of almost total silence, with only the ticking of a clock filling the airwaves, Issei finally shifted his gaze towards Sona, before speaking up.
"You summoned me?"
Tsubaki seemed to bristle lightly at Issei's lack of respectful address, but Sona raised a hand before she could do anything, only to wave said hand at the chair in front of her desk, placed right across from her.
"Please, take a seat."
Shrugging, the brunette sat himself down on the chair, releasing a surprised noise at just how comfortable it was, before turning his full focus towards the student council president, waiting for her to speak.
Noticing that she had Issei's full attention, Sona spoke.
"Thank you for accepting my invitation, Hyoudou-san. I am, as you may or may not know, Shitori Souna, the student council president. As the student council president, I am tasked with overseeing any major events occurring within school grounds, such as the Recruitment Drive that occured yesterday."
The girl paused for a second to allow her guest to dissect and digest her words, continuing only after the almost imperceptible nod from the brunette.
"As such, I tend to be the first person to arrive at school, and one of the last people to leave, and I also tend to, alongside the rest of the student council, oversee the academy's entrances and exits during high traffic periods."
Issei's already focused look sharpened further, his gaze gaining a seemingly penetrating quality that had Sona feeling like he was looking both at her, and past her. Ignoring these sensations, and the odd, indescribable chill that it brought to her, Sona kept speaking.
"This means that we were present yesterday, during your confrontation with those delinquents that came looking for you."
"I see."
The emotionless tone from the boy raised the hairs on both Sona and Tsubaki's arms, forcing Tsubaki to actively suppress her reflex of jumping in front of her king in a protective act. Sona herself was taken aback at the boy's tone as he spoke.
"I take it you... Don't approve... Of my actions back then?"
While inwardly nervous, Sona still mantained her composed air and tone of voice as she spoke.
"While I believe that you could have taken a less... Inflamatory... and violent... path, I do not really have the grounds to say whether they were right or wrong."
Issei blinked in surprise at that, his piercing gaze being replaced by a curious one that allowed both Tsubaki and Sona to relax, before he spoke.
"How do you figure?"
Sona cleared her throat, before speaking.
"I was present during the entirety of that... 'Demonstration'... With the swim club. While you did indeed consent to a demonstration, I believe that much of what occured there stepped over quite a few lines, and it was the responsibility of the student council to ensure that it was either prevented, or corrected. Most other sports clubs engaged in behaviors that, while less so than the swim club, could also be considered improper towards you. Any frustration or imbalance caused by those acts are as much the responsibility of those clubs for having caused it, as it is of the student council for having allowed them to occur.
And in regards to the confrontation... It should have not occured. The instant that three unknowns marched into our school, calling for a student of our academy with noticeably violent intent, the student council should have acted in the best interests of the student. Be it calling a teacher, the police, or even direct interference, we should have in some way acted in order to protect a student of our academy.
Condemning your actions when they were only a proportional response to the threat posed to you, both verbal and physical... You can understand why I cannot do so."
Sona surprised not just Issei and Tsubaki, but even herself when she pushed back her chair, standing across Issei, and gave the brunette a bow.
"I apologize to you, Hyoudou-san, or behalf of both myself, and the entirety of the student council."
The brunette's eyes were wide and glued to Sona even as she returned to her seat, causing him to miss the incredulous look that the Vice-President shot to her boss due to her uncharacteristic actions, before he leaned back into his own seat, his tone a mixture of surprised and sheepish as he spoke.
"I... Didn't really expect something like this happening, but..."
His hand went to the back of head, scratching it in a sheepish motion as he finished.
"When a pretty girl gives me such an honest and heartfealt apology like that... How am I supposed to do anything other than forgive her?"
Sona blushed lightly at the pretty girl bit, her imbalance due to a mixture of her embarassment and her surprise at her own actions causing her to be quite a bit candid.
"It's all forgiven? Just like that? Really?"
Shrugging, Issei responded even as he rubbed his nose with one of his fingers.
"Someone who is at the top of the food chain at the school, as it were, didn't really have to apologize to me, especially for something that I hadn't really connected to them, but you still did it anyway. And it wasn't some sort of public and formal apology made only to save face and improve your reputation, you gave an honest and heartfelt apology for something that others wouldn't even consider their responsibility.
Plus, it's not like there were any real problems. I played around with a few misguided individuals, ensuring that they learnt that straying from the right path resulted in consequences, and I learnt that the majority of the students in this academy aren't the least bit trustworthy, so... Forgiven. Now, if you'd excuse me, I'd rather not really miss the possibility of eating lunch..."
Taking a steadying breath and noticing the open-ended sentence of the brunette, Sona nodded towards the council room's door, prompting Issei to give her a small smile before he left, the door clicking softly behind him.
"Wow, Kaichou. I didn't expect you to go as far as bowing to him in apology..."
Sona adjusted her glasses, before speaking.
"Neither did I, Tsubaki."
Ignoring the surprised look her queen gave her, Sona continued.
"That Hyoudou boy... His gaze felt like that of a dangerous animal, and the air around him... Between that and his easy shifts into friendliness... What an interesting person..."
Tsubaki's eyes widened at that, before she spoke.
"Kaichou, are you thinking of recruiting him to your peerage?"
Sona, rather than answer at the moment, stood from her chair, making her way towards the large window placed behind her customary seat, watching over the various Kuoh students that had decided to spend their lunch breaks outside, her gaze falling onto a group of four that were sitting below a tree. The pigtailed girl in glasses seemed to be snickering at something, while the bespectacled young man and his bald compatriot moved animatedly, limbs flailing wildly, all the while the young man that had left the council room just a few minutes ago looked at the two of them with a smile of fond exasperation.
The boy blinked, before his gaze moved directly towards her, despite the fact that the angle of the sun should be obscuring her figure and making her impossible to see, and gave her a genuine, closed-eyed smile.
She nodded in response, watching him talk to his confused and interested friends, before answering.
"I promised Rias that she'd have priority in recruiting from here, in order to deal with her situation..."
Knowing that her King hadn't finished speaking yet, Tsubaki kept silent.
"...However, with the way that she seems bent on superimposing her problem onto him, and with how stubborn she is... Well, I will simply say that it is a possibility. Even ignoring the fact that he showed himself capable of singlehandedly handling three attackers at once with no injuries to himself, the look in his eyes... There are hidden depths to that boy."
Tsubaki couldn't help but nod at that assessment. It seemed that interesting times were afoot in Kuoh Academy.
-x-
"Hey Issei, I got a copy of 'Round and Bumpy: Nippy-chan', and me and Motohama were planning on giving it a playthrough. You down for it?"
"Hey, what about me!?"
Matsuda's gaze moved towards Aika, half-wary and half-apologetic as he spoke.
"Well, I didn't really think that you'd much appreciate spending your free time playing ero games with three guys and all..."
Aika wrinkled her nose at that, before responding.
"Yeah, you're right, that doesn't really sound like a good time."
The three turned towards Issei, who shrugged before answering.
"Sorry, but I can't make it today. Busy."
While Motohama and Matsuda shrugged at that, commenting about 'too bad he'd miss the good stuff', Aika focused an inquisitive gaze on Issei, her pad and pencil on hand as she spoke.
"Busy, huh? Anything interesting? Maybe picking up girls? Picking up a gyaru, taking her to a love hotel and-"
"Nothing as interesting as that, unfortunately. I'll just try to find myself a part-time job."
The pigtailed pervert pouted at that, muttering in a tone that was inaudible to most.
"That's too bad, it'd have been great research..."
Issei muttered 'research' to himself in a questioning tone before simply dismissing it with a shrug of his shoulders, waving his friends goodbye before he moved towards the commercial district in Kuoh, eyes shining bright in the expectation of earning himself his first paycheck!
-x-
"I'm quite sorry, but we don't believe that you possess the right set of traits to represent our store's brand."
"I understand..."
Once again, Issei left another store with his shoulders hunched, having been rejected by another employer for one reason or another. He'd spent hours looking for a job, talking to managers, extolling on his virtues and life skills...
'I don't really have any formal training, but I'm strong as an ox, and Igot a mean right hook!'
...But he was rejected every time, for some unexplained reason. His employers seemed very nervous as they did it too, for whatever reason.
Shrugging that thought aside, Issei noticed the fact that it was already late in the afternoon, with the sun close to setting. Intent on not letting his parents believe that he had been kidnapped or something of the sort, Issei made his way to a payphone in order to call home.
He got to a payphone just in time to watch a swaying man, with the smell of booze wafting off of him, bump onto said payphone, before managing to regain his footing and wobble off.
Shrugging that off, Issei pushed in the needed coins to operate the Payphone and made the call.
"Mom, it's me, Issei. Yes. Yes. No. Yeah, I know it's getting late, it's why I called... I'm looking for a part-time job for myself... No, I'm not in any sort of trouble... Yes, I'm sure... I'll be home in a while. Yeah, love you too!"
"Did you hear that, gentlement? Big bad boy wuvs his mommy!"
The laughter of various different individuals reached Issei, who simply ignored them and went on his own way. The laughing figures, a group of teenage delinquents - and damn if there wasn't a surprisingly high number of them lately - bristled at the fact that they were just ignored, before skulking off.
-x-
"Okay, I can say it now... I am officially lost."
Issei looked around himself, his eyes rapidly moving past and picking up the details of all of the unfamiliar buildings surrounding him, before he saw a curious scene from the corner of his eye.
The same delinquents that had taunted him earlier were moving as a line, noticeably herding someone into a dark alley.
Issei debated just ignoring it and going back to finding his way back home before his mother blew a gasket, but, inwardly cursing his soft heart, ended up following after the group, to analyze the situation properly.
As he peered past a corner and into the alleyway, his eyes easily ignoring the fact that visibility was reducing by the second as the sun kept moving, Issei was faced with a very odd sight.
Seven delinquents were surrounding a single guy.
The odd part wasn't the fact that delinquents were trying to prey on someone via numbers, no. It was the fact that their target was a behemoth of a guy, easily measuring at a good 6 feet something, likely 6'4" or 6'5". He was noticeably overweight, on the border between chunky and obese, but despite the fact that he should eclipse all of the average-heighted japanese delinquents, most of which seemed to be in their late teens to early twenties, the big guy was the one cowering away from them, his presence meek as a scared mouse.
One of the delinquents, whose appearance and identity Issei couldn't give two shits about, spoke up.
"Daichi, old pal', old friend... How're you doing today?"
The trembling and now named 'Daichi' answered in a noticeably terrified tone.
"L-leave me alone, Shun! I don't have any money on me!"
"You see, Daichi, I don't know why, but, for whatever reason... I don't really believe you. So I want you to jump, right now."
Daichi's eyes widened to the extreme at that moment, before he vehemenly shook his head, causing Shun to frown.
"Daichi, old buddy, with the way you're acting one would think that you're trying to hide something, which would be really weird, since you told me straight to my face that you had no money. Did you lie to me, Big Dai? Did you?"
Daichi winced when Shun called him 'Big Dai', before he started speaking in a panicked tone.
"I-I-I... The money isn't mine!"
Shun breathed out an interested 'Hoh~', while Daichi nervously babbled.
"My uncle sent me to the bank to get some money to buy stuff for his business! I need to give this money to uncle, so please, just let me go! I'll... I'll get you some money tomorrow! I'll just ask for an advancement on my allowance!"
Shun chuckled lightly, a sound that was copied by his various henchmen, before he spoke up.
"Usually I'd just let you go with that, Big Dai, but I can't. You lied to me, tried to cheat me. You really hurt me, big guy! So now... I get to teach you a lesson."
As he said that, Shun stepped forwards towards Dai, only for a voice from the alley's entrance to reach them all.
"Man, there's scum of all types in this world, huh..."
The delinquents turned towards the source of the voice, squinting and scowling as they tried to make out the details on the sillhoute that had spoken to them, the angle of the sun stopping them from actually seeing Issei clearly.
The lamps around the street started finally turning on, one by one, allowing Issei's form to finally be revealed to the others in the alley, causing 'Shun' to scowl as he spoke.
"Wait a second... You're..."
Shun took a step forward, a scowl on his face as he reached into his jacket.
"My younger brother, Kaz, told me all about how you jumped him with a bunch of guys and beat the crap out of him."
When he took his hand from his jacket, he was holding a switchblade.
"Payback time, bitch."
Issei's gaze locked onto the switchblade with a high level of intensite, before he looked back up at Shun and spoke.
"Your brother and his friends came at me with words and fists, I let them go easy with a few lovetaps and a warning. If you come at me with a weapon, I won't be so easy on you. Are you sure you want to do this?"
The delinquents responded by arming themselves further, picking up pipes, wooden planks and broken bottles, prompting Issei to shrug nonchalantly.
"Suit yourself."
Having said that, Issei Blurred, appearing beside one of the thugs that was holding a lead pipe and kicking his right leg, causing him to go down to his knee, before palming his entire face and slamming him head-first into the wall, causing him to crumple, unconscious.
Without looking back up at the rest of the delinquents, Issei spoke.
"Are you still sure about you current path of action?"
His response was a terrified shout, preceded by a rushed charge from one of the downed guy's friends, a 2x4 raised for an overhead blow...
"Stupid."
Only for Issei to, in a blur of motion, turn around, get back to his feet, and obliterate the wooden plank with a single punch, before kicking the attacker in the nuts so hard that his feet left the ground for a few instants.
By the time Issei turned his focus to the rest of the group, the previous one was already curled up on the ground in a puddle of vomit, his body trembling from the excruciating agony.
The rest of the delinquents tried rushing Issei all at once, only to bump into eachother due to the limited width of the alley, which gave Issei the time to hit another one of them with a jumpkick, causing him to fly back-first into a wodden crate and crumple over, down but still breathing.
Before the rest of the group could do much, Issei's fists and feet had already flashed out in a storm of motion, putting all of the delinquents other than 'shun' out of comission.
The leader of the delinquents took a step back when Issei's gaze fell on him, taking another one when Issei took a step forward.
The lights that illuminated the alley flickered before going out, steeping it in darkness, before flickering back on, revealing the fact that Issei was no longer in his place.
"How about them Packers, huh?"
Shun spun around, his switchblade whistling as it cut through the air, only to meet nothing.
"Missed me."
Shun spun again, his blade flashing with the intent of hitting the source of the voice that kept speaking straight into his ear, only to, once again, meet nothing.
He started looking around wildly, his eyes wide and chest heaving as he did his best to try to find the brunette.
The lights flickered out again, prompting Shun to slowly move with his back towards a wall, only to hit something solid sooner than he expected to. He looked back and over his shoulder just as the lights came back on, the visage of a glaring Issei, with green irises with slit pupils, and a maw full of sharp fangs to meet him, causing him to jump away from the Hyoudou youth. He blinked once, only for all of these monstrous traits to suddenly not be there.
His hands trembling, he pointed up at Issei before speaking up.
"S-stay away from me, you monster!"
Rather than feeling insulted, the brunette chuckled lightly, before responding.
"A monster, huh? I don't really mind the title..."
The amusement vanishing from Issei's face altogether, he leaned into the trembling delinquent and spoke in a tone that was little more than a menacing hiss.
"Now you better get the fuck out of here before I kick your ass. And if I find you, or anyone else making a mess out of my city... I'll show you a true monster."
"HIYEEEEEE!"
Screeching, and with a suspicious brown stain on the back of his pants, Shun ran away from the alley as fast as he could, leaving behind a chuckling Issei.
"W-wow... That was amazing..."
The brunette turned towards the stunned Daichi, shrugging as he spoke.
"It was nothing, really. Just making sure that the trash in my city is taken care of, is all. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get yelled at by my mother."
"N-no, wait, don't go yet! We need to make sure you're not hurt!"
"I'm okay, dude. They didn't even touch me."
An obstinate look came over Daichi's face as he spoke.
"Still, I can't just let you go like that after you helped me!"
Daichi bit his lower lip before he grabbed Issei by the arm and tugged him out of the alley, and towards a street that smelled of smoke and booze, full of flashing lights, neon signs, and scantily clad women standing around corners. Despite all of this, Issei's mind was on a single detail.
'Holy crap, this kid is strong as hell!'
Despite the fact that he wasn't really fighting it with full strength, Issei was putting out enough resistance that a grown man shouldn't be able to move him even a milimiter, yet Daichi was easily manhandling him, as if he was weightless!
'How does a kid this big and strong allow himself to get picked on like he did?'
Issei looked at Daichi, really looked, finally commiting his traits other than his size and strength to mind.
The boy had shaggy, brown hair which was covering his eyes, a regular-sized nose, not too straight and not too crooked, and slightly thick lips. His skin was darker toned, like someone from southern asia, like the southernmost parts of Thailand.
Issei's observation was broken when Daichi walked past a particularly noisy bar, with more than a few motorcycles arrayed in front of it, taking him into the alley right next to said bar and walking him through a steel door and into a back room.
"Stay here, I'll go get my uncle and he can check you over."
Shrugging, the brunette sat himself down on a steel chair, letting out an explosive sigh.
"Heh" a deep voice let out a mild chuckle, before continuing "Kids your age shouldn't be sighing like old men."
Issei turned towards the source of the voice, seeing a tall, muscular black man wearing a bartending apron bearing various stains. The man was completely bald, with brown eyes and coffee-stained teeth, a slightly thick nose, regular-sized though dark chocolate-hued lips and a goatee, and chest and biceps so wide that his shirt was straining to keep them contained.
The man was carrying a first aid kit which he placed on a table beside Issei, pulling out a flashlight and taking the brunette's chin between his fingers as he shined the light into his eyes.
"Timely response, pupils contracted as expected, eyes following the light properly... You don't have a concussion, so that's pretty good."
The man followed up by taking hold of Issei's right hand and kneading it a bit, hm'ing curiously before speaking up.
"My nephew told me you punched a 2x4 into smithereens, but you have no fractures, nor even torn or bruised knuckles..."
"I trained. A lot."
The man chuckled again, the sound rich and low, before speaking up.
"Must've been a helluva training, then. As far as doctor Andre can tell, you're good to go."
"Guess I'm going, then."
After saying that, Issei sighed again, prompting the now named Andre to speak up.
"You sound tired, kid. Wanna talk about it?"
Shrugging to himself and figuring out that it couldn't make things worse than they already were, Issei decided to confide in the man.
"I spent the whole day looking for a part time job, but I found only squat, of the diddly variety. Then, I got lost, before having to face a bunch of thugs that were robbing a guy-"
"My nephew, Daichi."
Issei nodded at that.
"-and now I'm uber late, and I'll probably get shouted at by my mom, before she tries to smother me in hugs and kisses."
Andre chuckled again before gaining a thoughtful look, standing up and uttering.
"Follow me."
Shrugging, Issei followed the man past a pair of doors, only to walk into a scene of chaos and bedlam.
Men of various sizes and shapes, many of them bearing various scars, tattoos, or any other indicators of a misspent youth, or a less-than-friendly relation with the authorities, filled the room. Many of them were sitting at different tables, having conversations at shouting volumes in-between taking swigs of whatever it was that they were drinking, while others were playing a game of pool, making all sorts of innuendos and dick jokes based on their cue sticks, and making nasty comments about each other's mother.
Two burly, bearded men stood to one side of the bar, shirtless and having a fist fight, while a group of other guys cheered them on and bet on the result of the fight.
Taking all of this in a single, uninterrupted sweep of the room, Issei looked towards Andre and spoke.
"Uhh... What am I doing here, exactly?"
Andre scratched his goatee thoughtfully as he spoke.
"Well, you said you were looking for a job, and my nephew said he saw you effortlessly taking apart 6 armed brats, before scaring the bejeezus out of the seventh one. I'm thinking about hiring you to work for me, kid. My place has all sorts of rough people come and go, so I need someone capable of keeping them in line and minimizing the collateral damage. You'd be expected to regularly break apart fights, and, if needed, kick out some of the more unruly patrons, so the pay is hellaciously good, but it's not an easy job, you may need to occasionally work some late shifts, and it is, obviously, in the red light district.
Are you up for it?"
Thinking things through for a while, Issei shrugged before speaking up.
"What's my expected pay?"
Andre reached into the front pocket on his apron and withdrew a chit of folded paper which he proceeded to hand over to Issei. The brunette unfolded the paper, only to choke at the amount written on it.
"W-what... What is this?"
Shrugging, Andre spoke up.
"I know that it's not much, but it's a good starting point when I don't even know how long any of my employees are going to last."
His brain still fried, Issei mumbled.
"N-Not much..."
"Well, if you last enough time, your pay raises accordingly. Plus, you get a minor cash bonus whenever you manage to take care of a fight with little to no collateral damage, and you get to keep any tips."
"S-so many zeros..."
"So, kid, you up for it?"
Giving Andre the most serious look he could muster - something that caused the man to freeze in surprise, a chill going through his spine - Issei spoke in a decisive tone.
"Tell me what to do, boss."
The man chuckled at that, patting Issei on the shoulder as he spoke.
"Not so fast, kid. I need to be sure that you can properly reign in my type of clientele. You could start by breaking apart those two shirtless bozos in that corner."
Nodding resolutely, Issei further rolled up his shirt sleeves, all the way up to his biceps, before striding decisively towards the two fighting men.
"Oi, you big lugs! Boss doesn't like you fighting, so I'm here to make sure you don't fight."
One of the two men, the one with the biggest beard, and with a big dog tattooed on his chest, turned towards Issei, growling out at him.
"And how's a pipsqueak like you gonna make that happen?"
Issei stayed silent, prompting the man to chuckle before speaking up.
"See, you can't do shit. Now go back home to your momma before I- urk!"
The man was interrupted by Issei's right hand wrapping around his throat and pulling him down so that the two were eye-to-eye, before Issei, for the second time this day, hissed menacingly.
"Listen to me, you criminal scum. I haven't had the best time here in Kuoh. I've spent two weeks straight sleeping only two hours a day, dealing with shallow, idiotic classmates, and with absolutely zero bitches fucked after spending time at a place that would make Hugh Heffner weep in joy and believe in god, fucking beauties of all different sorts. I'm currently... annoyed."
Everyone in the bar stopped to watch the scene, curious about the fact that 'Mad Dog Eddie' was being manhandled by some kid that seemed to have exceptional strength, seen as the Mad Dog seemed to be slowly turning blue from the hand wrapped around his throat, and the fact that said hand didn't loosen, even with Eddie punching and slamming at the supporting arm. Uncaring of all of this, Issei hissed on.
"Now, if I don't get this job because of you two bozos, I'm going from annoyed straight to pissed, and the difference between annoyed and pissed is a back-alley vasectomy performed with a rusty spoon. Capisce?"
Eddie, almost fully blue in the face, nodded as much as he could in the situation that he was in. He felt himself slowly drifting off, the shadows in the corners of his eyes growing... Until he was suddenly and uncerimoniously released.
"Great!"
Taking massive gulps of air, Eddie could only stare in a mixture of incredulity and fear at the terrifying brat that had been strangling him just a second ago, the sudden emotional swing stunning him, and everyone else in the bar to the point that all noise ceased for a moment.
"Hahahahahaha!"
The silence was broken by Andre's laughter, before he placed a hand on Issei's shoulder and spoke in a friendly tone.
"You've got yourself a job, kid. Welcome to 'The Hammered Dwarf', where the booze flows flee, and the patrons are apparently terrified of a teen! Hahahahahaha!"
And just like that, Issei found himself a job.
-Chapter, End-