After leaving the bar, Kushina decides against seeking out Maito Gai immediately. She needs some time to think a little more; to plan. The pieces are coming together for Kushina. Letting her feet carry her back the long way to Hiroaki and Chine's apartment, Kushina's unfocused eyes move from yellow streetlight to yellow streetlight.
Kushina sees now Kakashi isn't just avoiding her, he's avoiding everyone. The kid is swiftly isolating himself from anybody who cares about him and it makes her afraid. What's he planning? What is Kakashi up to?
It feels like he's going to—
She stops the thought before she can finish it. It doesn't matter. Kushina is not somebody who gives up. She's committed to having Kakashi in Naruto's life, her life now. It's going to happen whether any of them like it or not.
Kushina pauses between streetlights and shivers in the dark. The sentiment has Minato echoing in her ear. Once he'd said something like that to her, hadn't he? She closes her eyes as she goes back to the early days of her, Kakashi, and Minato. Yes, he had, during an argument about the kid. He'd told her:
Kakashi is here to stay, whether you like it or not, Kushina.
She smiles to herself and ignores the bitter taste it brings. Minato's right. Too right for being a man almost eight months dead. So many others have come and gone but Kakashi? He's stayed.
He will also continue to stay as long as she's here too.
Feeling more grounded, Kushina starts walking again. This time she moves with purpose and speed. Her baby's waiting for her at her friends' apartment. With his bedtime on the horizon, he's going to need her too.
-O-
The next morning, after ensuring Naruto is safely ensconced with Mikoto and Sasuke in the Uchiha Compound, Kushina heads for the training fields. It's a nice day. There's a breeze and the sun isn't yet bearing down on Konoha. It's the kind of day if she and Minato were both in the Village for they'd spend it running errands together and maybe hold hands while looking for something yummy to eat for lunch.
Kushina flexes her fingers. It's maudlin, utterly pessimistic, and not at all what Minato would want for her, but she thinks she'll never hold another hand again. Not like that. No one is ever gonna compare to her sunshine pretty boy.
Before she can really be dragged into her wallowing, Kushina reaches her destination. For a moment, she just admires Maito as he moves. The kid's fast and precise as he practices his kata. It's no wonder people are keeping tabs on him these days. He's come a long way from failing the Academy Entrance exam.
Smiling, she cups one hand to her mouth and raises the other in the air. "Hey! Maito!" she yells.
The teen turns his head as he thrusts out a leg in a sidekick at the same time. He beams at Kushina when his eyes find her at the edge of the field. "Lady Kushina!" he shouts in return before dropping his form and jogging over to her.
She laughs at his eagerness. This kid's always been full of pep. She used to tell Minato it was such a shame he focused so much of this brightness on a brat like Kakashi. The boy has never seemed to appreciate Gai in the way he deserves.
A selfish part of her feels relief now that Gai cares so much about Kakashi. No one else has a well of patience for him. Hell, a lot of people (herself included before recently) barely have a puddle for Kakashi.
Even though he's sure Kakashi hates it right now, he's still tethered to this Village, to life through Gai. She prays Gai doesn't give up on Kakashi. That Kakashi doesn't find a way to sever whatever it is the two of them have. If either happens, Kushina fears Kakashi won't be for this world much longer.
She gives a minute shake of her head to rid herself of the thought and refocuses on the boy smiling expectantly at her. "Kushina's fine, thanks," she says.
"Of course," he agrees with an easy, but serious dip of his chin. "What can I do for you this lovely morning?"
She takes in a breath to prepare herself. "I've got a question for you," she begins and watches intently as Gai's smile seems to freeze in place. "Have you talked to Kakashi lately?"
His smile stays but a light indent forms between his brows. "No," he admits after a moment. "I haven't seen my rival in nearly two weeks now. Not since our last challenge." Gai averts his eyes and wraps one arm over his middle, grabbing his other arm's elbow as he pinches his chin in his empty hand. He… He didn't talk much then either."
Kushina was afraid that would be the case. She doesn't let her mounting dread show on her face. It's not going to help this situation. It's not going to find her Kakashi.
"I see," she says. Leaning back on her heels, she hugs herself and asks Gai, "How did Kakashi seem to you then?"
The indent between his bushy brows deepens. "What do you mean, Kushina?" he inquires.
Haltingly, she explains, "When I saw him last, a little over a month ago now, he was pretty tired. Did he look tired still when you saw him?"
Gai exhales. "I believe he did," he murmurs. There is a pause. Then Gai lifts his face and says, "Kushina?"
"Yeah?"
A shimmer to his dark eyes, the teen admits, "I'm not sure Kakashi is doing well. I'm worried being a part of the ANBU is breaking his spirit."
Kushina internally cringes. "I hear you," she tells Gai. She looks away from his pleading eyes and confesses, "I'm kinda worried too."
Gai shifts a bit and Kushina watches as he seems to gather his next words. "I've thought about applying to it myself," he says. "Perhaps if I could fight beside him…"
Kushina's mouth twitches into a sad smile. This kid is too damn good. What the Hell did Kakashi do to earn such friendship from him?
"You're a sweetheart," she says as she puts a bolstering hand on his shoulder. "I don't think the ANBU would be a good fit for you. You've got a lot of personality, I can tell. In the ANBU, a person really has to be able to turn themself off to do their work, you know?"
He blinks hard a few times. "I was afraid I might not be suited," he murmurs.
She pokes at his chin with her free hand. "Aw, don't look so down!" she says. "I'm not somebody who'd do well there either, you know? It's actually pretty normal."
Gai smiles. It's a bit weaker than his usual grin but Kushina will take it. "Thank you, Kushina," he replies.
She waves off his gratitude and returns to her previous seriousness. "Hey, do you know if Kakashi is on a mission right now?" she asks. "I've thought about talking to the Sandaime, just to find out if he's in the village or not, but that feels a little rude. He doesn't need to be bothered by my silly question when he's so busy, you know?"
The teen hums agreeably. "The last we spoke, he said he would be returning yesterday or early this morning, actually," he says and Kushina feels a bit of relief.
If he's still sharing stuff like that it means even he's having trouble fully shutting out everyone. That's a good sign. It means pulling Kakashi out of his funk isn't going to be impossible. Just difficult. Really, really, infuriatingly difficult.
But possible.
"I have been waiting here in hopes he would turn up to train," Gai explains. "He may always be late to our agreed-upon challenges but never for his own training!"
Kushina's heart swoops. "Really?" she says. "That's not good."
"No," agrees Gai. He exhales and tells her, "It's not unusual, however. I planned to finish my set of kata and then go to check the Memorial."
She cocks her head. "The Memorial?"
"He spends much of his free time there as of late," Gai informs her.
"Ah," she finds is all she can say. Kushina didn't know that. It's nice she does now, though. She'll have to start looking there for him periodically. "Hey, Gai?" she then says.
"Yes, Kushina?"
"Do you know where his apartment is? I never had a moment to find out where he moved after his last place was destroyed in the Attack," she says.
He smiles at her and puffs up a bit with pride. "I do!" he exclaims. "Would you like for me to show you?"
Kushina thinks about it. Kakashi is a private kid. He doesn't like people knowing stuff about him if he's not the one to tell them. But in this case? She thinks she's going to pry.
"You know what? Yeah," she replies. Turning away from the field, she gestures for the teenager to take lead. "Let's go."
He bounces a couple of steps ahead and laughs. "As you wish!"
-O-
They spend fifteen minutes hanging around Kakashi's door; knocking on it and the window beside it. At one point Gai even scales the roof to go and try tapping on the window on the other side of the building. When he returns to Kushina, he suggests, "Perhaps he is not home?"
She squints hard at the door. "Maybe," she replies.
Kushina isn't convinced. Kakashi has never had trouble being rude to people. Or ignoring them.
"We could go to the Memorial Stone if you like?" offers Gai.
She breathes out. They could do that. It's probably what they should do. If he's not there they can come back but…
Kushina has a feeling.
"Okay, don't judge me but I want to break in," she says to the teen.
Gai doesn't give her a look of judgment but one of wariness instead. "My rival is very good at laying traps, Kushina," he tells her.
She huffs. "Yeah, well, I haven't been out of action so long I can't avoid any I set off. Which I suspect I won't." She smirks at Gai and leans in to let him in on the little secret she knows. "Minato taught Kakashi pretty much all he knows on this stuff."
Gai looks once more at the plain yellow door of Kakashi's apartment. "Very well…"
As promised, Kushina gets them inside with only a bit of effort. The place is small. Which, honestly, she expected. It's an efficiency. The room is dark and nothing's moved since they stepped inside. There's a bad smell in the air, though.
Sour like sick.
Kushina's eyes rove around the room until she finds the raised bed against the far wall. There is a lump beneath the covers. Carefully, she approaches. "Hey, Kakashi?" she calls.
"Rival?" echoes Gai as they come to a stop beside the edge of his bed.
Kakashi's shape doesn't even twitch. She bites her lip. Oh, this isn't good. She just hopes it's not what she fears.
Grabbing the hem of his blue, shuriken-dotted covers she throws the blanket back. Immediately she yelps, "Aw, shit. Kid!"
Kakashi is splayed out on his stomach shirtless. Not that it matters. The majority of his torso is wrapped in bandages. What the Hell has Kakashi gotten himself into?
"I think one of his wounds is infected," Gai says from down by her hip. She blinks. Kushina hadn't even noticed him kneel to be level with Kakashi. She shifts her eyes to the spot Gai is pointing at on Kakashi's flank.
The brown stain there is tinged with yellow.
"Fuck," she swears as panic momentarily seizes her. Dropping to her knees, she shoves her fingers against Kakashi's bear throat and feels for his pulse. Thankfully, there is one. It's quick and thready but present. "Okay," she breathes out. Standing back up, she leans heavily on the little table beside Kakashi's bed. She very pointedly ignores that there is a framed picture of Kakashi's old team on it.
"Gai, can you pick him up?" she asks. "He needs to be seen by someone. Preferably Tsunade or Shizune."
"Yes, Kushina," agrees Gai before he slides his hands beneath Kakashi. Once he has the boy cradled in his arms Kushina has to swallow. It's easy to forget Kakashi isn't even fifteen yet a lot of the time but when in the arms of somebody like Gai he looks exactly his age. She reaches out and presses a hand to the kid's warm forehead.
"Hang on, Kakashi, you're gonna be okay," she pleads into his hair before guiding Gai out of the apartment.
Thanks a million for reading and let me know what you think!