Author's Notes:
-To Guest- No guarantees on Kitty and Mickey getting together, but I'll consider it.
-Also, some of these episodes will be broken up into two or more chapters simply for suspense purposes and making sure they don't get too long. Hope you enjoy the first part!
Now then, let's begin.
The camera showed the title card before going to the recap. The footage showed the Cadets running, a fearful Dwayne looking at a lion, Stephanie hitting Ryan with an oar, the Cadets coming in first, Dwayne and Junior's reunion, their confessional, and the Ice Dancers returning the lava rock before showing them at the chill zone.
"Last time on the Ridonculous Race. Dwayne feared he lost junior for good, and Stephanie tried to lose Ryan for good. The Cadets came in first, and after reuniting in Africa, Dwayne realized that his little boy is becoming a little man. After a detour to return their cursed Hawaiian lava rock, the Ice Dancers came in last, but it was a non-elimination round, so they're still in it."
Don was shown walking as the icons of the eleven remaining teams. "We're halfway through the race, and these teams are halfway closer to winning a million dollars. I have no idea what'll happen next, but we're about to find out. Right here on- the Ridonculous Race."
[cue intro]
[after intro]
"We're back in Zambezi National Park, where yesterday's winners are about to receive their first travel tip." Don said as he approached the cadets.
Sanders had a voice over leading to a confessional at the chill zone as the cadets got fired up. "I hope their camera crew is in shape, because from here on, we're gonna double time it!'
MacArthur was doing some leg exercises in the background. "Time to warm up the gloots."
Sanders pressed the button to get the tip. "We're going to Australia! Yes!"
A slideshow began with Australia's flag before showing a picture of the Sydney Opera House, a rock formation and a koala in a tree.
"Australia. Home to the unique Sydney Opera House, Ayers Rock, and disturbingly cute koalas." The koala attacked the camera, causing it black out. Don continued as a bus rolled behind him. "Teams must travel by bus to Zimbabwe Harare Internal Airport to book their flight to Melbourne." He was shown in Australia. "Once here, find this Don Box to see what's up dune under!"
The Surfers got their tip.
"I guess now we'll have to double-double time it!" Sanders told her partner.
"Yeah, we're gonna fourthiable time it!" MacArthur agreed. The scene switched to her knocking on the bus door. "Open up!" The door opened, only to reveal the bus driver with his feet up reading a newspaper. "Come on, man!" She took the paper from him as they got on the bus. "Are you mindless or just lazy?"
A slideshow began showing a montage teams in different boxes, starting with the Sisters and then moving onto the Adversity Twins, Stepbrothers, Goths, Rockers, and Father and Son. The twins were shown smiling, with Mickey holding the tip.
The teams were shown running to the bus. "More and more teams receive their tip and get on the bus, but before they can leave, they'll have to wait for the last team to arrive."
Jacques and Josee were shown wearing black and dark grey versions of their ice dancer uniforms and shades as they waved to their fans back home. Mickey stood beside Kitty as she, Lorenzo, MacArthur, Junior and Ennui took in their new look.
The scene switched to the Ice Dancers in the interview room.
"The pink was too friendly, and the black screams, 'Get out of our way!'" Josee explained.
"And washes with similar colors." Jacques added.
The bus was shown driving along as Junior said to his dad, "Stick with me today. I don't want you getting lost again."
"What. But.. what. I wasn't the one getting.." Dwayne sputtered.
The scene switched to the interview room.
"For the record, I don't have a welcome with directions. I have a problem following directions. Totally different. It's just part of my handsomely rugged charm. Oh my doughy, middle-aged charm?" Junior smiled and nodded. "I'll take it."
The travel montage was shown, with the worried twins behind the sisters.
"Go!" Emma shouted.
"Let's roll!" Jay said.
"Move it!" Chet exclaimed.
"Hurry!" Dwayne said.
"All teams are now aboard the same thirteen hour flight to Melbourne, Australia." Don narrated. "Sleeping would be beneficial, but I'm giving them something to worry about instead."
An air horn went off, waking up Mickey from his slumber.
"Ahh!"
"Attention teams, this is a boomerang." a recording of Don began. "Find one attached to your travel tip, and you can use it at the next Don Box to send another team back to repeat the previous challenge."
"I want one!" Josee declared.
The scene switched to Sanders. "If we get a boomerang, we need to..."
"Use it on the Ice Dancers." MacArthur finished.
"Access the situation and pick the team we feel..."
"Or the Ice Dancers."
"Will you please let me finish...?"
"Off the Ice Dancers with the boomerang, absolutely."
Sanders sighed as the scene transitioned to the plane landing in Australia and the teams running to the Don Box.
"Devin, I need to..." Carrie began.
She was shoved aside as MacArthur got a tip.
"Taxi!" They quickly got a ride and sped off. Devin read the tip. "Stop in at Geelong Maximun Security."
"Geelong Prison closed in 1991, but during it's 146 years of operation, it was the most brutal and violent lockup on Earth. Now it's an extreme travel hot spot!" He walked into a cell, with the door slamming behind him. "As teams arrive, they'll be thrown into cells, each equipped with one of four methods of escape- tunnels, trapdoors, hidden tools or bars." Don was now nearby a river. "Once they break out of their cell, they're free to make their way to today's final Don Box near the Barwon River. Boomerangs can only be used here. Once they pass this point, the boomerang expires. And as a special bonus treat..."
"First team to today's chill zone gets to make a phone call home." Jay said.
"Nice. Maybe we can win and call mom." Mickey optimistically stated.
"She must feel really lonely without us."
The scene switched to clogged traffic. "Oh man, traffic." Devin complained. "Hey driver, I'll give you a big tip if you pass these guys."
The taxi driver smirked and put his foot on the gas petal, increasing speed to get around the cars.
"So Devin, I... I know that..."
The car rumbled. "Yeah!" Devin cheered. "Pass these guys too! I love it!"
"Yeah.." She chuckled. "Speaking of love, um I.."
Carrie fell over as the car weaved in and out of the lanes. "Driver, put on some racing music." Devin requested.
He turned up the knob on the radio, playing rapid banjo music.
Carrie sighed. "Maybe the later."
The scene switched to the Cadet's cab with a boomerang on it.
"If we win the phone call, I'd like to call my grandmother." Sanders told her partner. "She's really old and her health..."
"I'd call my cat, Mr. Princess." MacArthur suggested.
"But we only get one call."
"We'll flip for it."
"My grandmother is sick. And your cat is... a cat!" Sanders reasoned. "He won't even know you called him."
"I'll know." MacArthur held up a coin. "Heads or tails?
The scene switched to the Best Friends arriving at the prison. After they got out, the taxi drove off.
"Thank you. That was very scary." She made a brief solo confession to the camera as Devin ran off. "I have to tell Devin how I feel as soon as I can. If we win today and he calls Shelley, it could disrupt everything that's happening between us." She ran up to him and soon thereafter, they were handcuffed by two different guards.
"Welcome to Geelong." a guard told them.
The door was shut in the Best Friends' faces.
"You check for trapdoors, I'll look for a loose bar." Devin instructed.
Two more cabs, both with kangaroos on them, arrived at Geelong prison. It was the Adversity Twins and the Ice Dancers.
Jay looked at the doors. "Huh? Why are the doors closed? Shouldn't they be open so we can..?" He was then handcuffed, along with Jacques and Josee. "Oh."
Mickey gulped as he was handcuffed.
A montage began with the Goths, Rockers, Sisters and Father and Son being put behind bars. The last group had a worried expression. "As teams are cuffed and lead into Geelong, most go peacefully." Don told the audience. "Others not so much."
The Stepbrothers were shown running away. Ryan was handcuffed, only for Stephanie to kick a guy in the crotch. She was tazed from behind and knocked down before being handcuffed. Sanders was handcuffed by another guard, as MacArthur kicked said officer down. Another retaliated by tackling her.
MacArthur stood with her hands on the bars. "It wasn't personal. I mean, yeah, it was your face I punched in. But I still respect you as a follow officer of the law cause you only cried a little. Super manly dude!"
"Are you gonna mock him all day, or should we maybe find a way out of here?" Sanders asked her.
"Uh, pretty sure there's time for both." MacArthur responded as Sanders checked the walls. "Sometimes I wish you were a little more fun."
"Well, I wish you were more professional." she complained. "Stop insulting and punching people! Can't you just play nice for one day?"
She smirked. "I play nice with you all the time."
"Can you please keep it down? We're trying to think." Josee said from a nearby cell.
"Don't worry. Trying anything for the first time is hard." MacArthur roasted.
Sanders glared at MacArthur in the interview room. "Come on, that one was a gimme."
The scene switched to the stepbrothers, with Chet slamming Lorenzo's head into the bars.
"Ow!"
"If your thick head won't break us out, nothing will." Chet theorized.
"Better check the walls." Lorenzo responded.
"Ow! Hey!" The two began to fight. "Let go!"
"You let go!"
Both were shown in a headlock with each other. "I can't breathe!"
"Neither can I!"
The two got up, panting. Lorenzo stated, "I think we're really trapped."
"Well lucky for you, I have a plan to get us out." Chet declared.
"Oh yeah, well I have a good plan."
"Oh yeah, well mine's awesome."
"Mine's awesome good."
They point their fingers at each other as Chet continued, "Okay, let's say our plans on three."
"Least stupid plan wins."
"Agreed. One..."
"Two..."
"Three."
They pointed at the bar and put their hands forth before folding their arms and answered at the same time, "We put a mirror up to the bar so the guard thinks he locked himself in and opens the cell!" They gasped in unison.
Lorenzo looked at his stepbrother in shock. "Did just come up with the same geniusness idea?"
"Yes." Chet raised an eyebrow. "Favorite dinosaur ninja movie?"
Both answered, "Dinosaur Ninja 4- Rise of the Caveman Wizard!"
They gasped in unison again.
"Best anti-zombie weapon?" Lorenzo asked.
"Chainsaw missle-launcher, duh!" they answered simultaneously again.
They gasped in unison yet again.
Chet began stuttering in disbelief. "Did... did we just stop hating each other?"
"Yes?" Lorenzo answered.
"Guards! We need a mirror!" they cried out before the screen cut to commercial.
When the camera started rolling again, the twins were shown in their cell. Jay stood at the cell entrance rattling the bars as Mickey tried shifting the floor titles to see if any of them were trapdoors.
"Okay, it's not the bars. There's no trapdoor." Jay concluded. "Maybe there's a tool?"
"I don't think there is one." The camera shifted to a torn apart bed with sheets laid to the side and ripped up pillows. "We've tried everything. There really is no way out!"
"It feels like the answer's right in front our faces and we just can't see it."
Mickey lamented, "I hate to say it, but it looks like this is the end for us."
"We're not giving up. It's not over til it's over."
Back at the Stepbrother's cell, the stepbrothers were taking turns roasting the guard.
"You probably don't have a mirror because you're so funny looking!" Lorenzo taunted.
"I'm glad I don't have your face on my head." Chet roasted.
"Yeah, if I had your face, I'd... do something about it."
"Like go to the face-changing doctor."
The two turned away from the cell door as Lorenzo smirked. "That verbal beat-down was insane!"
"The word NATO of slams." Chet agreed.
"Yeah, I bet when he wakes up tomorrow, he'll be in a coma!"
"Dibs on the bottom bunk!"
Chet fell though the bed and onto the ground and the two just laughed.
"Could've been worse." Lorenzo threw himself on the top bunk. "Imagine if..."
The top bed collapsed with the trapdoor and the Stepbrothers found themselves falling down a dark tunnel.
"The Stepbrothers find the trap door in their cell..." Don began.
"Ow!"
"...and land their way into first place." The camera showed Ryan rattling the bars, Rock looking at the water in the toilet, Brody tapping the wall, and Ennui looking under the bed. "But other teams continue to search, getting more and more desperate."
The scene switched to the Ice Dancers in their cell.
"Josee, listen." Jacques tapped his foot on one of the tiles. "Does this spot sound different to you?"
Josee's fist shock as she breathed. "It's like there's no air in here. Do prisoners not get air?" She ran over to Jacques and started shaking him. "Is that part of going to jail? No air?!"
"There's plenty of air." He looked at her with concern. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. I just want some air!" She sniffed. "It's these bars! They're blocking the air!
"I don't think..."
She grabbed him by his shirt and shook him again. "They're using air-blocking bars! I gotta get out!
She slammed herself against the bars. "Jossee, stop! You're going to..." A smash was heard as she broke through. "Find the way out! Yes!"
Jacques stepped out of the cell as Josee breathed in, smiling. "Air..."
"Wait!" Sanders called out. "If you help us now, we'll owe you one. You have my word."
"On one condition." Josee said and she and Jacques folding their arms. "I wanna hear your partner say that ice dancing is the best sport in the world."
MacArthur laughed. "You think it's a sport?"
"MacArthur! Come on!" the good cop exclaimed.
The bad cop turned away from the bars. "Nope. Never. Not happening."
"Hey, we could be stuck in here for hours." Sanders reasoned. "This is our get-out-of-jail free card. All you have to do is play nice for ten seconds!"
MacArthur sighed. "Fine." She went to the cell door, quickly sputtering out, "Ice dancing is the best sport in the world."
"Like you mean it. And louder." Josee commanded.
MacArthur responded cheerfully, "Ice dancing is the best sport in the world!"
"And who is the best ice dancer?" Josee asked.
She softly growled. "You are." She responded with more enthusiasm. "You are the best ice dancer in the world!"
"That is so nice of you to say." She and Jacques began to walk away from them. "Buh-bye."
MacArthur seized up in anger. "Ah! I knew it!"
"You promised to help us!" Sanders reminded them.
"I am." Josee told them. "I'm helping you go home."
The camera showed a worried Sanders before switching to her and MacArthur in the interview room, the latter extremely mad. "I warned you about those dirty, lousy, no good ice-for-brains jerks!"
"You did and you were right." Sanders folded her arms. "We're never playing nice with them again!"
The scene switched Devin rattling the bed.
"Come on, we need to win this round." Devin said.
"Or we could take a break. Breaks are good, right?" Carrie asked. "And um, I need to tell you something..."
Devin ripped apart a pillow and found a handsize saw. "Yes!" He picked it up. "So what'd you need to tell me?"
Carrie got out her letter and began to read as Devin began to saw at the bars. "Growing up together, I remember many things like how happy you were when your training wheels went off your bike, or when you wore your favorite shirt backwards for a whole school year, but the one thing I can't remember is... a time when I wasn't in love with you." She looked around, not seeing her crush. "Devin? Did you hear that?"
"No, tell me later! Come on, homie!"
Carrie frowned as the scene switched to the twins. Mikey sat on the bed curled up in a ball, looked dejected and defeated. Jay was still looking for the exit.
"Nothing in the sink." He tried to pull the mirror off the wall. "This mirror doesn't move... Come on, where's the exit?"
The sound of bricks crumbling was heard, along with the Sisters coughing as the dust faded.
Emma looked frustrated. "We broke into another cell?"
"Oh, it's the twins. Hi guys." Kitty cheerfully said.
"Oh, um, hi." Mickey stammered.
He smiled sheepishly at her, and Kitty warmly smiled back. A pink glow was faintly seen as romantic music began to play, before stopping suddenly.
"Have you guys found a way out yet?" Emma asked.
"Not yet." Mickey sadly answered. He smiled as he said, "But we're working on it."
A tabbing sound was heard. "Hey, Mickey! I think I found something! Come here!" Jay said to his younger brother. He got up and went over by the toilet. "Alright. Pull!"
The twins heaved and threw the toilet aside.
Mickey smiled. "Looks like we found it." The camera shifted We're going down."
"Ew!" Kitty exclaimed.
"It's okay, The prison's been closed for decades. No one's been using the toilets."
"Well then. Let's go!"
"Ladies first?" Mickey offered.
The sisters jumped down, going off screen, and the twins followed behind them.
The scene switched to the Stepbrothers at the Don Box.
Chet got the tip. "We're in first place! Sweet!"
"You're the coolest brother ever!" Lorenzo stated.
"'All-in; Craft a Raft.'" Chet read.
"For today's second challenge, teams must construct a raft and sail it down the Barwon River to today's chill zone. Last team to arrive here at the carpet of completion may be eliminated."
The scene switched back to the stepbrothers as Lorenzo suggested, "Forget the raft. Let's build a floating spaceship!"
Chet gasped. "It's like you're inside my brain, taking my ideas before I have them!"
The scene switched to them in the interview room. "We should have our own theme song!
"Totally! Stepbrothers, stepbrothers, we're the stepbrotherrrrssssss! Yeah!"
"That was genius!"
The two shared a high-five before switching to the Cadets.
MacArthur was shown ripping apart a bed in the cadet's cell.
"See what happens when you play nice?! People walk all over you!"
"Okay, so there's no tool in the bedding, so look somewhere else." Sanders reasoned.
"I wasn't looking for a way out I was just mad. You want a way out? Here!" Sanders tensed as MacArthur broke the wall and held it in her hands. "After you!"
"If you think that was impressive, I'd lift a boat." MacArthur said in the interview room. "If I could kiss my own gloots, I would. You wanna kiss em?"
Sanders responded in disgust before the scene shifted to the Adversity Twins and the Sisters in the sewers. As the sisters walked forth, Mickey looked at Kitty with a goofy grin. He heard a growl
"What was that?" Mickey asked in panic.
"It sounded like a crocodile." Kitty told him.
Mickey began to whimper.
"We better hurry then." Emma said.
She and Jay ran ahead. Kitty gently took Mickey's hand, and he felt a lot calmer thereafter. The two ran to catch up with their respective partners.
"Full impulse captain." Chet announced.
"Prepare to engage transwarp drive, Mr. Chet!" Lorenzo stated.
"Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!"
"Red alert! Red alert!
"This is so awesome!"
The two high-fived and continued their game. As Don narrated, the scene shifted to the Sisters with wood and rope in their hands passing by Father and Son and the Surfer Dudes. It then shifted into a four square grid, with the Goths on the top left painting their raft black. In the top right, Stephanie was reaching for tools as a nervous Ryan continued building the raft. In the lower left, Junior looked disappointed as his father gave him a single piece of wood. And in the lower right, Jay quickly hammered some nails in as Mickey placed a wood plank down.
"As the Stepbrothers celebrate falling from first to second place, more teams have busted out of jail and have gone into the raft building business." The scene showed the Adversity Twins and the Sisters. "But while most of the teams are setting sail for the Chill Zone, the Rockers are still in jail."
The scene transitioned to the Rockers, with the bedding ripped up and feathers from a ripped pillow everywhere.
"Aw man. We've looked everywhere. We're not finding anything." Rock said. "I hate to say it, but this might be it for us."