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Ch 131: Luan Hearts Lori
is a requested chapter. Here is a parody of the episode: Pat Hearts Squid.
The chapter starts with Lori arriving at the Loud house for the weekend in her own car. She gets out.
Lori: [sniffs the air] Ah, the smell of the Loud house. [enters the house where the family is in the living room] Hey fam, I'm here!
Loud family (except Luna): Lori!
Leni: I got your message. So your college is being infested by turkey bites?
Lori: Termites. And it'll take some time to get the repairs done.
Lana: Termites? You mean like the ones that infested our house and some of us had to stay with Pop Pop and the others had to stay with Aunt Ruth?
Lori: Yeah. I'm having deja vu here. But at least I have a room here to stay in.
Leni: Oh yeah, about that.
Lori: What?
Cut to Lori in her old room where she is shocked by what she sees. Her side of the room is damaged and there is tape covering up a hole in the wall.
Lori: What happened?!
Leni: Well…
A flashback shows a wrecking ball smashing through the room earlier, damaging Lori's side and shocking Leni. A construction worker is seen using a crane.
Construction man: Whoops, wrong house.
End of flashback.
Lori: I can't believe this! My bed! Where am I gonna sleep now?!
Leni: Don't worry Lori, you can sleep with me in my bed.
Lori: Leni, I know we're sisters and all but I need my space.
Luan: Hey Lori, I know your room is in need of repairs so I thought you could stay with me. Luna is on a weekend trip at a resort with Sam so there's a spare bed now.
Lori: No thanks Luan. I don't need to put up with your lame jokes or your dumb pranks.
Luan: Fine. Enough staying at Casa Ruins. [laughs and walks off]
Later at night, Lori has resorted to sharing a bed with Leni.
Leni: I'm glad you decided to bunk with me. Goodnight Lori.
Lori: (yawns) Goodnight Leni.
Soon they both fall asleep, but then the fashionista rolls over in her sleep and onto her older sister, having a dream about her favorite mall mannequin, Tanya.
Leni: [in her sleep] There you are, Tanya. I'll never let you out of my sight.
Lori: [wakes up] Leni, get off me! [gets out of Leni's grip]
Leni: Tanya? Tanya? Where'd you go?
Lori gives Leni an extra pillow and Leni thinks this is Tayna.
Leni: Tayna, stay here.
Lori: I guess I'm staying with Luan. [goes to Luan's door and knocks on it]
Luan: [opens the door and uses a fake banana as a weapon] Identify yourself!
Lori: Luan, knock it off. It's too late for this.
Luan: So I'm guessing you've decided to take me
out on my generous invitation.
Lori: Yeah, sure. That is if you'll have me?
Luan: [unpeels the banana] Well if you find my room ap-PEELing, then you can stay.
Lori: Ok, good.
Luan: Oh boy! [starts running in a circle around Lori] Lori's staying over! Lori's staying over!
Lori's expression alternates between happy and concerned as the comedian repeatedly hits her with the banana. She then sighs. Cut to Lori in Luna's top bunk.
Luan: How do you like the top bunk, Lori?
Lori: It's comfy. Maybe it won't be so bad staying here after all. [lays her head on the pillow but it makes a fart sound. Lori takes out a whoopee cushion from inside the pillow] Luan!
Luan: Oh, that was meant for Luna. [laughs sheepishly]
Lori sighs. Then she begins to fall asleep. After a few seconds, she feels something crawling on her. She wakes up and finds a spider on her face, then starts panicking and freaking out.
Lori: Get it off! Get it off!
It turns out it was Luan holding her fake gag spider.
Luan: [giggles] She fell for the ol' spider gag. And I thought Leni was afraid of spiders.
Lori growls in annoyance.
The scene changes from nighttime to dawn as a rooster makes noise. Luan yawns, stretches, and wakes up. She then notices posters from Lori's room on the wall, Lori's golf clubs, and other stuff.
Luan: Hmmm? What's going on here?
Then Lori walks in wearing a chef's hat and apron.
Lori: Good morning roomie, I hope you don't mind the changes I added here.
Luan: I guess I don't mind.
Lori: Now come downstairs. I made something special.
Cut to Lori showing Luan a pineapple coconut cake.
Lori: I know you love pineapple coconut cake, so I got the recipe and made it myself.
Luan: Lori, if you make pineapple coconut cakes every day, you can be my roomie as long as you want. [she attempts to lick the cake, but Lori slaps Luan's tongue with a wooden spoon.]
Lori: Ah-ah-ah-ah. The etiquette spoon says, 'Eat like a proper lady.'
Luan: Ah. A proper lady! [attempts to use her hand to eat the cake but Lori slaps her hand]
Lori: Watch me, you animal. [takes a small piece of the pineapple coconut cake with a fork] A proper lady eats like this. [bites the cake piece repeatedly]
Luan does exactly what Lori did.
Lori: OMG! Maybe I can teach you after all. I can mold you. You'll go from clown into a cultured sophisticate! I will make you the most tolerable roommate of all time! You'll be my roommate-sterpiece!
Luan: [holding up her fork] More cake, please!
Next, there's a montage of Lori rubbing off on Luan. They read magazines, they go to the spa and get manicures and pedicures, and they get their hair done and Luan's hair is styled to look like Lori's. Then they are now next to a mirror in Luan's room.
Lori: Hmm…Aha! [she takes out a pair of her own clothes] Try these on.
Luan takes them and goes in the closet to try them on, then comes back out wearing Lori's clothes.
Lori: You look-[gives a chef's kiss] Mwah.
Luan: Mwah.
They then start dancing together. Later at the house, there was an outdoor golf competition going on between Lori and Luan. A crowd of friends have gathered there
Luan: Hey everyone, glad you could make it!
Lori: As you all know, I'm the golfing queen. And Luan is my protege.
Luan: She taught me everything I know. [spins her golf club like a cane, Lori gives her a cookie]
Lori: And now-
Lori and Luan: Let the golfing begin!
Lori starts first, putting her ball on the tee. Then takes a swing and her ball almost goes into the hole.
Luan: My turn. [puts her ball on the tee, takes a swing and her ball goes into the hole]
The crowd cheers.
Lori: Nice shot, but you still won't beat me at my own game.
Luan: We'll see about that.
The golf game continues with Luan actually getting more holes in one than Lori. The crowd is in awe at Luan's skill. At the last hole, there is a windmill. Lori is looking confident that she'll win this.
Lori: You got this, Lori. [she hits her ball and it looks like it's about to go in the windmill, but it swerved off course at the last second. Lori looks surprised]
Luan: I got this. [hits her ball and it goes right into the windmill]
The crowd cheered.
Crowd: Luan! Luan! Luan!
Luan: Better luck next time Lori.
Lori: What?! Hey, watch me, everyone! I will now bedazzle your dazzlers with interpretive dance!
[Lori starts doing interpretive dance. After she is done, a tomato is thrown at her face]
Luan: My turn! [she starts doing her own interpretive dance, and after she is done, the audience throws her lots of roses]
Lori: What the?
Benny: [teary-eyed] Who knew that Luan could dance like an angel? Oh, bravo! Bravo!
Giggles: [picking up a tomato] Oh, Benny, you dropped this.
Benny: [quickly puts the tomato in his shirt, nervously chuckling]
Leni and Lincoln, who were in the crowd, cheer for Luan.
Leni: Luan! Luan!
Lincoln: [poking Luan] You make a better Lori than Lori does! [laughs]
Luan: [imitating Lori] I do? [laughs like Lori, then sighs like her; the audience and Leni and Lincoln laugh]
Lori: [slaps Luan] Hey! Stop making those noises! Those are literally my noises! [sighs]
Luan sighs like Lori. Lori makes an angry noise, and Luan follows. This repeats a few times.
Lincoln: Hey! Luan is the best Lori! [raising Luan's arm; the audience cheers]
Audience members: Hooray! [they then start carrying Luan]
Leni: So Lori, what do you think of your new protege, huh?
Lori: [growling through teeth] New protege? [she is steaming] [normally] She stinks! And she's not a better me! She's an impostor!
Leni: Hmm. Well, if Luan makes a better Lori, then you'd make a better Luan!
Lori: [scoffs] Yeah, right. I would make a better Luan. [she has an epiphany] Wait a minute, that's it! That'll teach her! [grabs Leni's face] Oh, thanks, Leni! [kisses her and runs off, Leni looks flattered]
The next morning…
A rooster crows and alarm rings.
Luan: [wakes up and stretches] [talks like Lori] Well, Lori, time for another lovely day in the chaos house of life. [gets up, but steps on a whoopie cushion] Huh? [she notices that her room is now a mess, with whoopie cushions all over the floor]
Lori, who now resembles Luan, with her hair styled like Luan's and wearing the same outfit Luan wears, is holding a whoopie cushion.
Lori: [laughs] You're a real gas in the morning. By the way, I should probably stop telling fart jokes because they sure stink. [laughs] Get it? [blows wind from her whoopie cushion]
Luan: [talking like Lori] Lori, you clown, clean up this mess!
Lori: Relax sis. Your attitude is crappier than this fake dog poop. [holds out fake dog poop and laughs]
Luan: [groans, talks like Lori] You are so immature. I'm gonna go text Bobby. That always soothes my nerves. [she goes to get her phone, but can't find it] Hey, where's my phone?
She gasps when she sees Lori juggling her phone along with some other items: a ball, a rubber chicken, and a bowling pin.
Luan: [talking like Lori] Lori! Gimme my phone! That is not a toy! [takes her phone back and Lori stops juggling]
Lori: Sorry Luan. Don't be so cranky. [pulls out a pie] How about we split a pie for breakfast? [takes a piece of pie]
Luan: [holds out the etiquette spoon] [talking like Lori] Ah-ah-ah. The etiquette spoon came back and she says, 'Eat like a proper lady.'
Lori: [eats a piece in a "proper lady" manner she learned previously]
Leni: Hey Lori. I mean, Luan.
Lori: Um...I'm going to go hang out with Leni now. [laughs like Luan and walks out]
Luan: [talking like Lori] Yeah, you do that. While I chat with Boo Boo Bear. [walks to her bed, lays down, and starts texting on her phone. Suddenly, she hears laughing coming from Leni and Luan] What are those twerps up to now?!
Outside the room, the two sisters are having a pie fight, throwing pies at each other.]
Leni: [laughs] I told you you'd make a great Luan, Lori! [Lori laughs]
Luan: [opens the door] [talking like Lori] Pipe down, you two!
Lori: Hey Luan, heads up!
Luan: [talking like Lori] Don't you dare-
Lori: [holds a pie and throws it at Luan's face]
Leni and Lori: Bullseye! [both laugh]
Luan: [in normal voice] Pie…I love pie! [Luan goes back in her room and then transforms herself back into her original-self, then comes out and joins her sisters and hits herself with pies]
Lori: [spits out pie] [in normal voice] She's Luan again! Finally!
Luan: I enjoyed being you but I enjoy being me more.
Lori: And I enjoy being me more. [turns her hair back to normal and rips off her clothes]
Leni: Uh, Lori?
Lori: [realizes she's in her bra and underwear as she didn't change in her room, blushes] Oh, right. [goes in her room to change]
Later Lori is on the living room couch with Leni, back in her usual attire.
Lincoln: [walks by] Good to have you back Lori. And by the way, the original Lori will always be the best Lori.
Leni: Totes.
Lori: Thanks guys. Well I'm glad things are back to the way they should be. And I'll be heading back to college tomorrow since the place is repaired.
Then Luna enters the house, back from her trip with Sam.
Luna: Luna in the house! I'm back, fam!
Leni: Hey Luna, how was your weekend with Sam?
Luna: Pretty rockin, dude. Sam and I rocked the crowd with that gig. What a weekend.
Lori: It's been quite a weekend for me too. First, my college gets infested by termites so I had to stay here, then I found my room was damaged and I stayed with Luan. And let's just say Luan and I rubbed off on each other.
Leni: They were totes copying each other.
Lori: Wait. If you're back, where am I gonna stay for the night?
Later at night, Lori is back in her own room but this time she has a sleeping bag.
Lori: I should've thought of this before.
Leni: Hopefully you'll get a new bed by tomorrow. Goodnight Lori.
Lori: Night Leni. [she rests her head on her pillow and a fart sound is heard. She pulls out a whoopie cushion, annoyed, she knew who was responsible for this] Luan!
The jokester is laughing outside of Lori's room. The oldest Loud sighs, then claps her hands twice, shutting off the lights before going to sleep.