Chapter 138: Invasion of the Burpin' Burgers
Happy Halloween! I wish I could've gotten this done a little earlier but here it is anyway. A parody of the episode: Krabby Patty Creature Feature.
I do love zombie apocalypse episodes and I was originally not going to do this episode because there was already a similar premise in a season one episode of the Loud House "one flu over the loud house", but this one is different because it involves the whole town instead of just the Loud family. So I hope you enjoy this Halloween related chapter and have a good Halloween.
The chapter starts at the Burpin Burger where Lynn Sr. is having lunch. The head chef comes out with two burgers.
Chef: Order up!
Manager: (sighs) Another pair of perfect burgers.
Lynn Sr: You guys make the best burgers in town. [laughs]
Lynn Sr. and the manager laugh and make various silly faces at the same time. The manager stops laughing.
Manager: Okay. Enough. [takes the burgers] Everybody gets it. Our burgers are perfect. Keep those orders coming, boyos! [sings to himself as he delivers the food to two hipster teens] Orders up! Two Burpin' Burgers.
Hipster teen #1: Oh, uh, yeah. I don't know.
Manager: Something wrong with the burgers, sir? [chuckles]
Hipster teen #1: No. We just want something, like, different.
Hipster teen #2: Yeah. Something, like, new.
Hipster teen #1 & #2: New, new, new, new, new, new, new.
Lynn Jr: Hey, we want something new, too!
Customers: New! New! New!
Manager: Oh. [chuckles] New, huh? We've been waiting to test our, uh, our new menu! Uh, how'd you like to be the first to try it?
Hipster teen #2: Yeah. We like being first.
The manager runs into the kitchen and opens the freezer door.
The manager: Hey Mr. Loud, I want to show you something.
Lynn Sr: Really? You want me?
Manager: I have high respect for you since you used to work at the Burpin' Burger.
Lynn Sr: Oh, well I'm flattered.
Manager: Now come with me. [grabs Mr. Loud and drags him into the freezer]
The freezer closes its door and, like an elevator, it takes them downstairs into the basement where the manager built a secret laboratory underneath the restaurant.
Lynn Sr: Whoa! What is this place?
Manager: It's my secret lab where I experiment on food.
Lynn Sr: Oh, this looks like madness.
Manager: You think this is mad? Ooh, wait 'till you see...[pulls a curtain and reveals a large magnifying glass with a large eye looking through] this!
Lynn Sr: Yipe!
The large eye turned out to be Lisa.
Lisa: Greetings, father! [pushes the magnifying glass up]
Lynn Sr: Lisa? What are you doing down here?
Lisa: I'm moonlighting as a molecular gastronomist.
Lynn Sr: What? A maladowin-a-gas-a-whatalist?
Lisa: [pulls down a diagram of an algebraic expression that includes a burger, French fries, a double-helix, and the pi symbol] The manager here is paying me to science up his menu.
Manager: Look, I'm in a hurry. You have this special project.
Lisa: Well, it's a work in progress [Lisa grabs a pipette and squeezes a drop of orange liquid into a container, causing it to grow into a double-helix shape. Eventually it forms an orange floating glowing Burpin Burger.]
Lisa: There it is! Your new burger!
Manager: Hm.
Lynn Sr: Wait, no! You can't improve the Burpin' Burger! It's perfect perfection that cannot be perfected upon! [puts normal Burpin Burger on top of orange glowing Burpin Burger]
Manager: Yeah, right. Stands the test of time. [gives the normal Burping Burger back to Lynn Sr.] Make me 300 of these, pronto!
Cut back to the dining room.
Manager: Here you go, gentlemen. Two brand new burgers. [serves the hipster teens the Secret Burgers]
Hipster teen #1 & #2: Hmm. Huh? [they eat the new Secret Burgers]
Lisa: [comes out with an employee pushing a load of secret burgers in a cart] Step right up and get your new, improved burgers!
[The customers pile up on top of Lisa and the employee and they each get the Secret Burger.]
Lisa: [feels dizzy] Ah! Uh.
Many Secret Burgers Later…
Hipster teen #2: [texting on his phone] I'm leaving a good review.
Customer: [full from eating the secret burgers] So tasty.
Manager: [eats the Secret Burger] Hm. A little bit different, but they taste familiar. [eats the Secret Burger whole; he burps and feels sick] Well, that wasn't familiar. [burps]
Lynn Sr. had stayed longer to see if these new burgers would sell. And they were selling well, but then he noticed something was off.
Lynn Sr: You feeling okay? 'Cause there's sesame seeds growing out of your back.
The manager groans as sesame seeds grow out of his back. His head mutates into a bun. His torso becomes a patty with lettuce. His arms grow out of the top bun. Two legs grow out of the bottom bun. The manager has completely turned into a Burpin' Burger zombie monster and he moans like a zombie.
Lynn Sr: [horrified] What's going on?
Lisa: [stomach growls] Ooh. Ehh, I never should've eaten four. [feels something growing in her] Uh! Ah! [her head becomes a bun] Huh! [her hands grow bigger and her entire body mutates into a Burpin Burger zombie; she growls]
Lynn Sr: The new burgers! They're making everyone change!
Soon, all of the customers, including Lynn Sr's family (excluding Lori), who ate the Secret Burger, mutate into Burpin' Burger zombies. And the chef employee who has eaten the new burger gets mutated as well.
Lynn Sr: I gotta get out of here! Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Ah! [retreats into the men's bathroom]
Rusty: [sees that someone has eaten a Secret Burger, and knows what the side effects are.] Maybe I'll pass on this burger. [throws the Secret Burger in the trashcan]
Burpin' Burger Zombie #1: Try this! [grabs part of his body and stuffs it into Rusty's mouth and forces it down his throat]
Rusty: [feels sick] Ohh! [mutates into a Burpin' Burger zombie] Bite my buns.
The Burpin Burger zombies march out of the restaurant and begin to wreak havoc across Royal Woods. A mailman is seen whistling until he bumps into a Burpin' Burger zombie.
Mailman: Ooh! [goes to touch the Burpin' Burger zombie, but it comes to life]
Burpin Burger Zombie #2: Eat us!
Mailman: Ahh! [the burger zombie leaps into his throat and they both fuse into one zombie]
Both: Eat us!
A police officer is resting in his police car.
Radio Dispatcher: Car 521, we have an outbreak of rabid burgers.
Officer: Yeah, yeah. I'm on my break.
Three Burpin Burger zombies appear and start attacking the officer's police car.
Officer: O-o-o-oh hey! Come on, I'm on my break!
Chaz is seen eating an ice cream cone as Burpin' Burgers zombies sneak up behind him.
Burpin' Burger Zombies: Eat us!
Chaz eats one of the zombified hipster teens. The zombified hipster teen moans and leaves. The fat kid then mutates into a Burpin' Burger zombie.
Burpin Burger manager: Eat me. [gets stopped by Big Bert]
Big Bert: Really, man? Is this some kind of new promotional gimmick? Surely, you can do better than this. I mean, [takes out a pickle from the manager's zombified body] you even wasted real pickles on this cheap costume? [eats the pickle] Pretty insulting, if you ask me. [mutates into a giant Burpin Burger zombie and belches loudly]
Manager: Eat us.
Several Burpin Burger zombies shake the Burpin' Burger sign where Zach and his parents are hiding.
Zach: Ohh, whoa! Whoa, whoa! [falls off]
Mrs. Gurdle: Zach!
Burpin' Burger Zombie #2: [grabs part of his body] Uhh, ah! Open wide!
Zach: No.
Elderly Burpin' Burger Zombie: Here comes the choo-choo.
Zach: No! Uhh—[eats a part of the zombie] Mm, mm, mmm! That's not so bad. [mutates into a Burpin Burger zombie]
Back inside the Burpin' Burger restaurant, Mr. Loud sees the madness happening outside.
Lynn Sr: This is like the time my family had the flu, but worse. (hides under the table) Oh original Burpin Burger, why did we forsake your perfect recipe? [then he hears some moaning] W-who's there? [peeks out from under the table and then a zombified Lisa jumps at him.
Lisa: Chow down, father!
Lynn Sr: Um, no thanks. [eats the normal Burpin' Burger] Already ate. See?
Lisa becomes angry and roars at him. Lynn Sr. screams and climbs out of the window to escape. Then he climbs into the dumpster to take refuge.
Lynn Sr: Maybe I'll be safe in here till all this blows over.
Moments Later…Royal Woods is completely burned down from the Burpin' Burger zombie invasion.
Katherine Mulligan: [outside the Burpin Burger] This is Katherine Mulligan reporting live from the Burpin' Burger, where I am one of the five people still unaffected by this rabid burger apocalypse. [goes to the Burpin Burger dumpster] The second unaffected person is in this dumpster. Care to comment, sir, on the chaos?
Lynn Sr: [comes out] Katherine Mulligan, how did you know I was in here?
Katherine: I was napping in this dumpster when you snuck in, seeking refuge.
Burpin Burger employee: Take a bite! [grabs part of his body and attacks the news reporter]
Katherine: No! No!
Lynn Sr: Wait! Who are the three other people not affected?
Katherine: L-L-L-Lena Shroud, her sister, and her father...[gets some of the employee's burger body shoved into her mouth, then struggles as she mutates into a Burpin Burger zombie]
Lynn Sr: Lena Shroud's family. [runs off]
Burpin Burger Employee and Katherine Mulligan: Eat us!
Burpin Burger Zombies: Eat us!
Lynn Sr: Wait, I don't know where Lena's house is. But maybe she's at her father's restaurant.
Mr. Loud runs to Bruce's 80s Place, pushing a zombified Scoots in the process. Inside the diner, the young white haired girl is counting bags of veggie meat.
Lena Shroud: There it is, guys. 195 bags of veggie meat.
Alison: Dad, are you sure customers are gonna buy vegan meat?
Bruce: I doubt it. They mostly come here for the ice cream.
Lena: Speaking of customers, where are they?
Mr. Loud bolts in through the front doors and barricades it with boards and nails.
Bruce: Loud, what are you doing? How are the customers supposed to get in now?
Lynn Sr: Those aren't customers out there, Bruce. They're all Burpin' Burger zombie monsters! And they're forcing everybody to eat them! You, me, and your kids are the last survivors!
Lena: Burger zombies? Heh. I'll believe it when I see it.
Suddenly, the burger zombies break through the boards and they gather around Bruce's diner.
Lena: [shocked as she was wrong] Okay, I believe it!
The Burpin' Burger zombies break through the front door and enter inside.
Lena: Run for your lives!
The Burpin Burger zombies stuff some of their bodies into Bruce and Alison's mouths and they turn into Burpin Burgers.
Bruce and Alison: Consume us.
Lena: No! [gets grabbed by a zombified Mr. Grouse] Hey!
Mr. Grouse: Have some.
Lena: No! Wait! I don't want— [Mr. Grouse tears a piece off himself and shoves it in Lena's mouth and she mutates into a Burpin Burger zombie; he sets her down] Have a slider.
Lynn Sr. is now the last remaining survivor as the burger zombies surround him. He tries to find something to defend himself but he sees two sporks.
Lynn Sr: Oh! [grabs the sporks] Stay back! I've got sporks!
The Burpin Burger zombies stop and look at each other in confusion. They resume closing in on the sole Loud man. Lynn Sr. uses the sporks to climb on the bags of veggie meat to get away. The sporks rip one bag open, causing some veggie meat to fall out and land in Leni's mouth. Leni eats the veggie meat and she spits the Secret Burger out, reverting her back to normal.
Leni: Boy, do I feel better!
Lynn Sr. looks down in confusion, but realizes that veggie meat is the antidote to the Secret Burger's effects.
Lynn Sr: Oh, that's it! Veggie meat is the cure.
Leni: Oh, a burger. [eats the Secret Burger and changes back into her Burpin' Burger zombie form]
Lynn Sr: [annoyed] Leni!
Burpin' Burger Zombies: Eat us!
Lynn Sr: No, eat veggie meat. Wah! [punctures open a bag to let veggie meat fall out]
The veggie meat falls into the mouth of one of the hipster teens. He eats it, vomits out the Secret Burger, and returns to his normal self.
Hipster teen #2: What happened?
Lynn Sr: [scoops veggie meat down to the Burpin Burger zombies] Yes! Yes!
Mr. Grouse and another zombie eat the veggie meat. Chaz, Big Bert and another zombie also eat the veggie meat. A zombified Flip tries to eat some veggie meat, but gets pushed out of the way by zombie Loud sisters. Lynn Sr. continues to throw veggie meat down onto the Burpin Burger zombies as Lena gets covered with it in the process. Lynn Sr. climbs all the way to the top and looks down at the Burpin Burger zombies.
Lynn Sr: Maybe I should up the dosage! [rips open a bag and shoots down veggie meat] Ahh! [he shoots veggie meat into the mouths of the last remaining zombies including Katherine Mulligan and Lisa] And three, two—
All of the Burpin Burger zombies spit out the secret burgers and return to their normal selves. Later, they all become sick to the stomach after what had happened to them.
Burpin Burger employee: Oh, my cranium.
Chaz: Ehh, I hate vegan meat.
Burpin Burger manager: Oh boy, so much for lab-grown burgers.
Lynn Sr: You see, sir, some things don't need scientific re-engineering to be delicious. [draws and forms a Burpin' Burger in midair] The original Burpin' Burger is perfect just the way it is.
Hipster teen #2: Yeah, you know, after all that, a good, old vintage Burpin' Burger sounds pretty good right now.
Hipster teen #1: Yeah. Vintage Burpin' Burgers rule!
Burpin' Burger Manager: You're darn right they do! And for the next three minutes, all vintage Burpin Burgers are...double the price!
Everyone runs out of Bruce's diner and heads back to the Burpin Burger.
Bruce: Wait! Don't leave now! Who's gonna clean up this mess?!
Suddenly, Leni, who is still zombified, goes up to Bruce.
Leni: Uhh! [grabs part of her body and shows it to him] Have some.
Bruce freaks out and runs away. Lynn Sr. comes back and shoves veggie meat in her mouth. She eats it, spits out the secret burger and reverts back to her human self.
Leni: What just happened?
Lynn Sr: It's a long story sweetie. Now come on. (grabs Leni and they leave)
The remaining secret burger spells out the words "The End" in ketchup before a burp is heard.