Chapter 119: Waiting
A parody of the episode with the same name.
In the kitchen, Lana is whistling imitatively while getting a box of Lucky Clovers cereal for breakfast.
Lana: Ooh! Lucky Clovers! What's this? [reads box label] It says a free prize! [she gets excited, then dumps out all the cereal into a bowl and munches it all down] Huh? Where's my prize? [reads box again] "Free prize." [gaps] "Offer inside!" Just send in 99 box tops!
Cut to the tomboy eating more cereal with a bunch of cereal boxes all around her.
Lana: How are you doing over there, guys?
Charles, Cliff, Walt, Geo and Lola are eating cereal as well.
Lola: (stuffed) Ugh! I can't eat another bite!
Lana: Come on Lola!
Lola: No! I'm sick of this cereal! If I eat more, I think I'm gonna explode! [she leaves]
Lisa comes in, noticing the kitchen noticing all the cereal.
Lisa: What on earth is going on here?
Lana: I need to send in ninety nine box tops so I can win a prize. [eats more cereal]
Lisa: Here's a suggestion: send in the box tops before eating all this cereal.
Lana: [swallows the cereal in her mouth] Lisa, you're a genius!
Lisa: Fortunately for you.
Now Lana is stuffing the envelopes with box tops. Cut to her outside by the mailbox.
Lana: I'm waiting. I'm waiting.
Lana and Lola: [Lola appears] I'm waiting.
Lola: I'm waiting.
Lana and Lola: We're waiting. We're waiting.
Lana: We're waiting.
Lola: Lana, what are we waiting for?
Lana: We're waiting for the mailman. He's bringing me my free toy. I sent in all the box tops.
Lola: [clapping her hands] I love toys! What does it look like?
Lana: We'll have to wait and see.
Twins: We're waiting. We're waiting. We're waiting.
Lola: [pointing to her left] There's the mailman!
Mailman: Is this the Loud house?
Lana: Yep. [she shudders with excitement as the mailman hands her 3 envelopes, which are bills, and Lana throws them away] Isn't there anything else?
Mailman: Nope, sorry kid. [walks off whistling]
Lana: Guess we'll have to keep waiting.
They both wait by the mailbox. After a while, both of their stomachs growl and bark at each other, as the stomachs just wanted to bite them.
Lola: Hey Lana, I'm hungry.
Lana: Me too.
Lola: Let's go down to the Burpin Burger for lunch.
Lana: Great idea, Lola. Burpin Burger, here we... wait a minute. What if the mailman comes when I'm gone? [rushes back to the mailbox and clings onto it] If I leave, the mailman might come and I might miss him.
Lola: Oh, I'm gonna take off then. I don't think my arm can stand much more of this. [Lola's stomach is biting her arm and she walks off]
Lana checks the mailbox. Some time has passed and Lana looks bored.
Lana: Got to stay focused. [checks mailbox again. Lynn jumps in]
Lynn: Hiya! Hey, Lana, want to do some karaaaaaa...! [Lana grabs Lynn's right arm and flips her on her back]
Lana: Not now, I'm busy.
Lynn, looking pretty upset, brushes herself off and walks away. Lana checks the mailbox again. Hops pushes his bowl by his owner's foot]
Lana: Oh, Hops, not now. Can't you see that I'm waiting for the mailman?! Doesn't anyone understand this?! [checks the mailbox again then pants as a scared Hops takes his bowl away] So tired. [stomach growls] So hungry. [tries to perk up] But... must wait... for toy.
Lola: (comes back) Hey, sis.
Lana: [screaming hysterically] What?! What do you want?! Can't you see I'm doing something here?! [pokes her sister in the head and checks the mailbox. Angrily] This better be good.
Lola: You missed Skippy's surprise birthday party, so I brought you some cake and a goody bag because you missed it.
The tomboy was shocked that she missed her friend's birthday party.
Lana: [sadly, beginning to choke up] Skippy's birthday party? [tears up] I missed...Skippy's... birthday party?
Lola: Yeah, you would've loved it! There was a mudslide, a mud pool, a dirt bike race, and dirt cake. Here's your cake.
Lana: Dirt cake? That's my favorite.
Lola: Yeah. Let me just get you the sprinkles you can add onto it. [Lana giggles] Uh, let me just hold the cake like this, [holds the piece of cake between her teeth] so I can get you the sprinkles. [digs in pockets] Huh, I wonder where I put those sprinkles. [notices she ate the cake] Oops.
Lana: [disappointed] That was my cake. [sniffs back tears] What's in the goody bag?
Lola: Oh, yeah. [Lana begins to cheer up a little as Lola pulls out what appears to be sprinkles] The sprinkles!
Lana's smile distorts and she breaks down crying as Lola throws the goody bag and the sprinkles away.
Lana: [drops to her knees] That stupid toy! I wasted my whole life waiting for it!
Lola: You've only been here for like 20 minutes.
Lana: I've been mean to Hops and I flipped Lynn, and now you hate me cause... I'm a big jerk! [cries]
Lola: No, I don't.
Lana: Yes, you do.
Mailman: Lana Loud?
Lana: [crying and sobbing uncontrollably]
Lola: Could you come back later? She's having a moment.
Mailman: Yeah. I just need a signature for…
Lana: [still crying and sobbing uncontrollably]
Lola: [yelling] I said she's having a moment! Now leave her alone!
Lana: [sniffing] No, Lola, people like me don't deserve moments. [signs for the package] I get so caught up in... [gives the pen back to the mailman] Oh, here ya go. [takes package] ...waiting for my... my toy! [laughs and then Lola laughs too]
They both cheer, riverdance, laugh, and dance on the ground. Lana opens up the package to reveal a strange frog headed, robotic body toy.
Lana: Looks like a Frogbot. Lola, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Lola: Yup.
Both: It's beautiful! [Lola touches it and its springs pop out]
Lola: Lana?
Lana: [jittering] I waited so long…
Lola: Lana?
Lana: [still jittering] And you broke it…
Lola: You okay, sis?
Lana: [calmly cradling her "broken" toy and not shouting] Yes, yes, I'm okay.
Lola: [wipes sweat off her forehead] Phew, oh, for a sec, I…
Lana: [shouting as she points to Lola with an accusing left index finger, then the "ruined" toy, The pageant girl cowers and gets down on the ground in fear as the mechanic girl points at her] You! You ruined my free toy!
Lola: I'm sorry. Oh, maybe if you just... [pokes it but the springs stretch out. Lana screams. Lola screams too, with sobs mixed in with it. Lana screams again and then they both cry. Mr. Grouse walks down the sidewalk while the twins are rolling around screaming and crying.]
Mr. Grouse: [to self] Just keep walking, Grousy, don't make eye contact. [walks into his house, goes upstairs to look out the window and see the twins still screaming and crying because the toy is "ruined", then growls and closes his window] [sighs] Now to soothe my frayed nerves. [Mr. Grouse tries to listen to an old music record but the screaming and crying resume because of the "ruined" toy. The old man is irritated. He walks out of his house and over to the polar opposite twins.] Alright, what's going on? Why are you two crying?
Lana: [stammering and crying] I-I ate... bo-bo-box tops. And then... I'm waiting. I'm waiting. [Lola is still crying] And then she came and we're waiting. We're waiting. And then my toy and then you and then snap and then this! [shows the toy. Lana is still crying. Mr. Grouse takes the toy away, causing them to stop crying, he then "fixes" it by pushing its head down if the toy has to be fixed]
Mr. Grouse: There. Now see? [shows how the toy works] It's supposed to do that.
Lana: [happily] Hey, my toy's okay!
Mr. Grouse: [crossing his arms, annoyed] Good. Now will you two be quiet?
Lana: Look, Lola, Mr. G fixed it! [both run over and hug their neighbor] How can we ever thank you?
Lola: Yeah, how can we thank you? [giggles]
Mr. Grouse: Move to another neighborhood.
I've made a list of episodes I will likely not be re-writing, with a few I may or may not write. Just wanted the fans to know about this. Here's the list:
-Tea at the Treedome
-Boating School
-Home Sweet Pineapple
-Suds
-I'm with Stupid
-The Bully
-Doing Time
-Mrs. Puff, You're Fired
-All That Glitters
-Wigstruck
-Driven to Tears
-The Original Fry Cook
-Night Light
-Fungus Among Us
-Good Ol Whatshisname
-To Love a Patty
-Money Talks
-The Krusty Sponge
-Atlantis SquarePantis (Maybe)
-Pat No Pay
-WhoBob Whatpants
-Banned in Bikini Bottom
-Stanley S. Squarepants
-Penny Foolish
-Spongicus (Maybe)
-Gone (Maybe)
-The Splinter
-Slide Whistle Stooges
-No Nose Knows
-Plankton's Regular
-Boating Buddies
-Choir Boys
-The Card
-Dear Vikings
-Cephalopod Lodge
-Squid's Visit
-To Squarepants or not to squarepants
-Shuffleboarding (Maybe)
-Pets or Pests
-Gullible Pants
-Truth or Square
-Clash Of Triton
That's not all. Those are the ones from seasons 1-6. There will likely be more from seasons 7-13. So with that out of the way, I'll be back with the next chapter soon.