Ch 122: Ghoul Fools
Here is the Halloween chapter! Finally. This is a parody of the episode with the same name. And it's been a while since I've written a special episode, which is more than 11 minutes long. This one was interesting to write, so I hope you enjoy and have a safe and happy Halloween!
Lucy and her friend Rocky are lying on the grass.
Rocky: Aah. Lucy, don't you love staring at clouds and thinking about what they look like?
Lucy: Yeah, it really calms my inner demons.
Rocky: [points to cloud in sky] Wow, look at that cloud. [shows cloud, which looks like Rusty] It looks just like Rusty.
Lucy: I'm not seeing it. Ooh, check out that cloud! [Shows cloud that looks like her pet bat, Fangs] It looks just like Fangs.
Rocky: Hmm. It does. Hey, look at that one. [shows a cloud that looks like Flip trying to catch a money cloud, but it disappears] It looks just like Flip, doesn't it?
Lucy: Sure does.
Suddenly, the sky turned from day to night as a houseboat passed by in a nearby river.
Rocky: Hey, why did it get all dark all of a sudden?
Lucy: I don't know, but I think it has something to do with that houseboat over there. [points to houseboat]
Lucy and Rocky watch the houseboat speed up, then it crashes into a nearby rock and loses gas.
Rocky: What is it, Lucy?
Lucy: It's probably just one of those fake haunted houses, you know, for babies.
Rocky: I don't know, Lucy, it's very scary-looking and spooky.
Lucy: Then It should be fun. I'm going to check it out. [runs to houseboat]
Rocky: Lucy, wait for me! [follows Lucy]
Lucy: [laughs and tries to get up to the houseboat, but can't] Hey, Rocky, can you give me a boost?
[Lucy gets up on top of Rocky]
Lucy: A little to the left. [Rocky moves to the left. Lucy gets up to the boat] A little help? [Ricky lifts her up] Hurry up, lazy-bones.
[Rocky gets up to the boat]
Lucy: Wow. Look at this place! It's so cheesy! Check out this lame doorknob.
Rocky looks at a skeleton doorknob, which shrieks at him. He laughs nervously]
Lucy: Let's check out inside.
Rocky: I don't know, Lucy.
Lucy: Oh, come on, don't be such a baby. [Opens door, to which Rocky follows her] Wow, so lame!
[Thunder clap is heard]
Lucy: [Sees plate of eyeballs and picks up one] Nice attention to detail, though. [Puts eyeball back]
[Rocky notices the eyeballs blink, to which he runs away]
Lucy: Huh. So not scary.
Rocky: [Looks at a picture of flowers] Hey, this is a nice picture! [Snakes come out of the picture and crawl all over him, to which he screams and runs around]
Lucy: Did you say something, Rocky?
[Snakes go back into picture]
Lucy: Hey, Rocky, check this out!
Rocky: Okay, I'll be right there!
Lucy: Even the spiders are fake. I wish something would... pop out of a closet. Like a big, hairy hand. [Door opens and a big, hairy hand comes out and takes Rocky to attack him] That would be scary! [Rocky screams from far away] But this place is too low budget for that! [Hand returns Rocky] Would be cool, though, wouldn't it?
Rocky: [shaking] Yeah, that'd be [gulps] neato. [hears scary music] Lucy, where is that music coming from?
Lucy: I think it's coming from that guy!
[Shows a ghost playing the organ, while a thunder clap is heard]
Lord Poltergeist: [turns around] Who dares trespass upon me haunted houseboat? [Thunder clap is heard. Lord Poltergeist goes over to the two kids]
Lucy: We do!
Lord Poltergeist: Aye. And what manner of beastie might you two be?
Lucy: [opens Lord Poltergeist's mouth] Look at the attention to detail in his mouth. It's all rotten and slimy. [Poltergeist breathes into Lucy's face, singeing it] His bad breath is incredible! His hair is very authentic, too. It's dirty. [sniffs] Eww. It reeks, and check out the workmanship on the jaw mechanism.
[moves Poltergeist's jaw up and down] Remarkable-build quality! [lets go of jaw] Obviously a puppet or a robot! Oh, we must be in one of those fancy pizza parlors, with those singing animated robots!
Lord Poltergeist: Robots? Puppets? Pizza parlors?! [gets angry and lights on fire]
Lucy: Sing us a spooky song, robot!
Lord Poltergeist: What? Sing for ye?
Lucy: Oh, whoops! You're right. I almost forgot. You're coin-operated, aren't you? [Puts coin into his nose. Poltergeist coughs up coin and looks at it, gripping it tightly]
Lord Poltergeist: So you want me to sing ye a spooky song, eh?
Lucy: Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
Rocky: Don't put yourself out for us!
Lord Poltergeist: And you do not think I'm a real ghost, do ye?
Lucy: Nope!
Rocky: I do, Mr. dead pirate, sir!
Lord Poltergeist: Oh, oh, oh, I'll sing ye a song, all right! A song so terrifying, you'll have to believe I'm a ghost! [electrocutes Rocky and Lucy and laughs]
Lucy: This show is going to be so awesome.
Rocky: [laughs nervously] Yeah, awesome.
Lord Poltergeist: Hit it, fingers! [Fingers appear and start the music]
Ghosts: Yo-ho-ho, yo-hoooooooooooo!
Lucy: [whispers] They're good!
Ghosts: Oh, we're the ghouls of the royal night! In this town we like to fright. Creeping in coffins with spider webs as ghostly pillows beneath our heads. Oh, we're the ghouls of the royal night. In this town we like to fright. We wear black shrouds that look quite neat, but we don't own shoes, 'cause we have no feet. Ha-ha-ha! [Lord Poltergeist shows bones for feet and taps them together] We like to haunt and frighten and scare 'til you jump right out of your underwear. We like to eat eyes and brains and drink our grog from rusty drains. We don't keep animals like cutesy cats! [Lord Poltergeist holds out a cat and throws it]
Rocky: Kitty!
Ghosts: Our favorite pet's, the tail headed rats!
[Rocky and Lucy clap]
Lord Poltergeist: Do you believe we're real ghosts now?
Lucy: No. I know a real ghost when I see one. And what kind of pizza joint is? Where's the pizza?
Lord Poltergeist: Pizza? I'll give you a pizza! [Poofs up pizza and gives it to Lucy and Rocky]
Lucy: That's more like it! [Pizza opens to show anchovies on the pizza]
Lucy and Rocky: Anchovies!? [Pizza disappears, the kids bow] You are real ghosts! You are real ghosts!
Lord Poltergeist: Ha-ha-ha-ha! So ye finally believe, eh? You scurvy swabs!
Lucy and Rocky: We do! We do!
Lucy: And I must say it is an honor to meet another ghost.
Lord Poltergeist: Wait, you're not scared of me?
Lucy: Of course not. I love ghosts!
Rocky: Well, I am! Oh, please don't kill me with your death ray eyes, Mr. Undead Ghost! [Puts Lucy in front of him] Take my friend instead! She's always wanted to join the afterlife!
[Rocky cowers in fear as Lucy is surprised by his act]
Lord Poltergeist: [Looks at the cowering boy] [sarcastically] Eh, great friend you have here.
Lucy: Why have you come to Royal Woods, oh mighty dead pirate type person, sir?
Lord Poltergeist: Eh, that's funny you should ask. Usually, when I come to town, it's to terrify the populous and enslave their souls in eternal torment! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Eh, but this time we just blew a head gasket.
Lucy: A head gasket?
Lord Poltergeist: Yes, we need it for the boat but our engine room broke down. [opens engine room and coughs] Hey, Charlie, you got that busted head gasket out yet?
Charlie: Here you go, boss! [head gasket melts] Looks like we need a new one! [Poltergeist grabs the head gasket]
Lord Poltergeist: Say, maybe you two runts... Um, fine children, could pick up a new one for us!
Rocky: [gulps] Uh, uh, us?
Lord Poltergeist: Yes, you! And just as a little incentive to make you return [lifts up SpongeBob and Patrick], I'll take your souls as deposit!
[Poltergeist grabs Lucy and Rocky and puts their souls into glass bottles. Poltergeist poofs up a treasure chest and picks a doubloon from it, giving to Rocky]
Lord Poltergeist: Here's a shiny doubloon to buy a new gasket. Succeed and maybe you'll get another doubloon! If you aren't back in 24 hours, your souls are mine and you'll be part of my ghastly crew, um, [goes over to check the calendar], let's see here, three weeks from Thursday... forever!
Rocky: Um, can I run screaming in horror from your ship now, Mr. ghost pirate, sir?
Lord Poltergeist: Oh, why certainly!
[Rocky leaves, screaming in horror. Lucy follows]
Lucy: Rocky, wait up!
Lord Poltergeist: Such a polite lad!
[Rocky and Lucy kept on running, but stopped to get ice cream at an ice cream truck]
Rocky: One scoop, please.
[The kids have ice cream, then continue running and screaming until they crashed into Flip's Food n Fuel]
Rocky: Ghosts, ghosts, a haunted houseboat!
Lucy: It's really not that bad. If you don't mind having your souls sucked out!
One customer gets freaked out.
Customer: Hey, those guys are insane!
[Customers run out of Flip's Food n Fuel]
Flip: [comes out of his office] What's all the commotion out here? [gasps] Come back! [cries] What in the bulging blue blazes are you kids up to?!
Rocky: Flip, it was awful! We just had a spooky encounter of the ghostly kind!
Flip: You had a what?
Rocky: We were just minding our own business and a haunted houseboat just showed up!
Lucy: And it was full of ghosts! Real ghosts! It was pretty cool.
Rocky: The captain of the ghost gave us this doubloon and told us to buy him a new head gasket! And then, he took our souls and he put them in bottles and he said he's going to turn us into ghosts if we don't get that head gasket! You gotta help us, Flip! I feel so empty without my soul!
Flip: Did you say doubloon? [Grabs doubloon] Let me see that! Hmm, looks somewhat authentic [sniffs doubloon] Smells real enough! [Bites doubloon, which knocks out his tooth. Then he goes to a random customer's car and steals his head gasket]
Customer: Hey!
Flip comes back with a head gasket.
Flip: Okay, let's go see those ghost fellers! We'll catch 'em and take their gold!
Rocky: But Flip! We don't know the first thing about ghost hunting!
Lucy: I do. First, you'll need ghost catching equipment.
[Lucy and Rocky hear a disturbing noise, which is Lincoln's new device]
Lincoln: Hey Lucy, I'll catch your ghosts for ya! It'll be easy with my new fangled paranormal detector-catcher gizmo I ordered from the A.R.R.G.H fan club.
Mr. Grouse: And you just happened to bring that with you... to Flip's Food n Fuel?
Lincoln: Yes. There could be paranormal activity anywhere. [he scans a Flippee]
Nope, nothing here.
Flip: Great, then it's settled, let's go catch us some ghost gold!
Lucy: You wanna join us, Mr. Grouse?
Mr. Grouse: What makes you think I have any interest in your delusional adventurism?
Flip: Come on, Grousy! Think about what all those doubloons could do for the Food n Fuel, eh? Huh? Why, I could buy you that fancy Flippy cup you're always whining about!
Mr. Grouse imagines having his own fancy Flippy cup, which is huge and jewel encrusted]
Mr. Grouse: Okay, I'm in!
Flip: Super! More hands means more gold. [to Rocky] So what do ya say, kid? Are ya ready?
Rocky: I'll go, but just to get my soul back.
Flip: Who needs a soul when you're filthy rich?
The gang are now at the haunted houseboat.
Rocky: So here it is. Pretty creepy, huh?
Lincoln: This place looks like it hasn't been lived in four years.
Lucy: Four years? Gotta be longer than that.
Mr. Grouse: I don't see any signs of ghosts [walks over to painting of a man with a pitchfork and woman standing together] Nothing here but a bunch of tacky old furniture, and boring, representational art. [Man in picture comes alive and eats woman's head] Huh?
Rocky: Look, Flip! The doubloons!
Flip: [gasps] Ha-ha-ha [he licks the doubloons in celebration]
Rocky: Flip, I wouldn't touch that if I were you! That gold probably has ghost germs all over it.
Flip: Oh, don't be silly, kid! There's no such thing as germs. [grabs a sack and puts doubloons in it] Heads up, Grouse! [Flip throws the bag to Mr. Grouse, which hits him in the head] Hey goth girl, think fast!
Lucy: What now? [Bag of doubloons hits her]
Flip: All right, then. Let's get while the getting's good! Ooh! [Notices a doubloon is left behind] Looks like I missed one! Uh... it seems to be stuck... uuuuuuhhhh... [pulls out Lord Poltergeist and screams]
Lord Poltergeist: Who dares touch me gold?
Rocky: It's just us, Mr. Ghost Captain, sir. We brought the replacement gasket you asked for. So if it's not too much trouble, do you think we could have our souls back... now... maybeee.
Lord Poltergeist: A deal's a deal and I'm a man of me word. Here you go, kid.
[Rocky drinks it, filling up his body with his soul]
Rocky: Aah. That hits the spot!
Lord Poltergeist: Think fast, goth girl!
Lucy: Again? [she tries to catch the bottle, but it hits her head and then it shatters on the ground] That's ok. I didn't need a soul anyway.
Lord Poltergeist: Har-har-har. Those weren't your souls. Those were just a couple of old orange sodas that have been sitting in the sun too long!
Lucy: Well, that's a relief.
Rocky: But what about our real souls?
Lord Poltergeist: Eh, I never had 'em. Everyone knows you can't hold onto a wild soul. Well, now that that's settled, there's still a little matter of... [Poltergeist notices Mr. Grouse, Flip, and Lucy taking off with his gold] Me gold! Stop right there! No one touches me booty and gets away with it.
Flip: Pfttttt! You ghosts don't scare me! You're nothing but thin air! Grab your sacks and follow me, guys! [he opens a door, which leads to the Void, which he is sucked into] Noooooooooooooooooooo!
Lord Poltergeist: Ha-har-har-har. Welcome to the Void! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Mr. Grouse makes babbling noises and is sucked into the Void. Even Lucy is a bit scared now.
Lucy: Gasp!
Mr. Grouse: Nooooooooooooooooooo!
Lord Poltergeist: Ha-har-har-har-har! [Poltergeist sucks in Lucy as she tries to escape]
Lucy: Nooooooooooooooooo!
Flip is seen floating in the Void.
Flip: Hmm. So this is limbo. Well, at least I have a sack full of doubloons to spend eternity with. Uh-oh. Gotta use the can! [he notices that there's a port-a-potty nearby] Ooh. There's a bit of luck. A portable potty. What's this here? "Insert doubloon?" Nooooooooooooo!
[Flip's image fades away and changes to Lucy]
Lucy: Wow. This void sure is relaxing. I love eternal darkness. [a pink princess pony shows up, and the goth gets excited] Princess Pony!
Then the pony starts to deform, transforming into an undead version of Princess Pony. Lucy gasps, seeming scared.
Pony: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Welcome to your worst nightmare! [she laughs evilly] For the rest of eternity, I will be here haunting and tormenting you!
Lucy: [smiles] Wicked!
Pony: Wait, what? [Lucy hugs the demon pony] What are you doing? Why aren't you screaming in fear?
Lucy: I've always wanted an undead pony! My very own undead pony!
Pony: No! This is supposed to be your eternal torment! [she roars at her, but Lucy is unphased]
Lucy: You wanna see something really scary? [she hisses at the pony, showing her fangs]
Pony: [creeped out] On second thought, I'm gonna go now.
The pony tried to leave, but Lucy appeared behind her, scaring her.
Lucy: You're not going anywhere, Undead Pony. [hugs the pony] You're mine for eternity.
Pony: Nooooooooooooooooooo!
[Scene cuts to Mr. Grouse in the Void]
Mr. Grouse: Oh, great. I wonder what my vision of eternal suffering will be! [Ghost versions of the Loud kids are shown, surrounding the elderly man] Of course!
Loud demons: Hiiii, neighbor! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Mr. Grouse: I guess this is the part where I start screaming. [screams]
[Ghost kids continue to laugh as the scene cuts to Lord Poltergeist laughing evilly]
Lincoln: Hey, corpse breath! You better let my friends out of there if you know what's good for ya!
Lord Poltergeist: Ha-ha-ha... And if I don't, what'll ye do about it, me white haired lad?
Lincoln: Oh, you'll be laughing out the other side of your tombstone once you've had a taste of my ghost-catcher!
Lord Poltergeist: Oh! The bucktooth kid's gonna get us! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[Lincoln turns on ghost-catcher and releases Lucy, Flip, and Mr. Grouse]
Flip: Thanks, kiddo. Now, let's just get this bag of doubloons back to the food n fuel!
Lord Poltergeist: Not so fast! That there booty be mine! [Poltergeist sucks bag into treasure chest]
Flip: Hey, you thieving bilge rat! I stole this gold fair and square! [Flip and Poltergeist beat up each other trying to get possession of treasure chest, which then flies into the air]
Rocky: I got it! [the chest crushes Rocky]
Flip: My gold!
Lord Poltergeist: You mean my gold!
Rocky: Hey, that's funny! [lifts the chest off himself] Hmm, this chest says it belongs to Great Grandma Harriet!
Lucy: Grandma Harriet?
Lincoln: Grandma Harriet?! You're not afraid she's gonna want it back?
Lord Poltergeist: Nah, nah! We used to be part of Harriet's crew. We stole her gold hundreds of years ago! But Harriet hasn't found us yet. And she never will!
[Cannon shoots into the haunted houseboat]
Grandma Harriet: Avast!
Lord Poltergeist, Lincoln, and Rocky: [look out the door] Huh?
Grandma Harriet: Heave to... and prepare to be boarded by Great Grandma Harriet!
Lord Poltergeist: Harriet! How did she track us down? Unless, thar be a snitch aboard!
Lucy: [holding a phone] It is my civic duty to report my great grandma's stolen property.
Lord Poltergeist: Why, you scurvy little spooker! You've ruined everything!
Mr Grouse: Welcome to my world.
Grandma Harriet: [angrily shouts] Avast there, you scurvy thieving phantom!
Lord Poltergeist: [nervously] Harriet! Boy, am I glad we finally found you!
Grandma Harriet: So, it was my old first mate who stole my gold and my crew!
Lord Poltergeist: Stole your gold? We just went out to get pizza!
Grandma Harriet: Um, that was a long time ago!
Lord Poltergeist: Um, we got lost? But we've been looking for ye ever since... to give ye back your treasure!
Grandma Harriet: Me booty! Well, maybe I misjudged you fellas. I'm sorry I was so cross with ya. [Lord Poltergeist sails away with the treasure] Why, you treacherous sea devils! When I'm done with you, you... [Lord Poltergeist runs over Harriet and sails away] Okay, now I'm a little bit peeved!
Lord Poltergeist: Ha-ha-ha! Eh, that Harriet was always a sap!
Lincoln: Look out! Grandma Harriet's on our tail!
Lord Poltergeist: Eh, now that the engine's fixed, Harriet will never catch up with aye. [Engine dies down] Boiler room, we're losing power! Report!
Charlie: The engine's on fire, sir! [engine explodes]
Lincoln: Harriet's gaining on us!
Lord Poltergeist: We're going down! Brace for impact! [all scream, boat crashes into another rock]
Grandma Harriet: Don't go anywhere, kiddies! Cause you're about to be cursed like you've never been cursed before!
Rocky: Uh-oh. I don't like the sound of that!
Grandma Harriet: Observe! [Harriet reveals her eye, removes it and turns into a missile, laughing wickedly and destroying Lord Poltergeist's ship, causing a live action explosion.
Later in the void.
Scene cut to Flip's Food n Fuel in the void. The others who were on Lord Poltergeist's ship, along with the poltergeist himself are forced to work there. A skeleton walks in.
Lord Poltergeist: Welcome to the Cursed Food n Fuel. How may we serve you this eternity?
Skeleton: I just need to use the bathroom.
Lord Poltergeist: Aargh, it's right over there.
Lucy: Here's your Flippee, Lincoln. [she gives him his drink and a gremlin pops out]
Lincoln: [grabs it] Got ya, you little gremlin!
Undead Pony: And what would you like, sir?
Ghost: Do ya got any ghost pepper chips in stock?
Undead pony: I'll go check.
Lucy: [appears behind the pony] Keep up the good work. [The pony gets startled by Lucy]
Flip: How's the holdup, Bud?
Mr. Grouse: (working the cash register) Everyone's paying with bones.
Flip: Well, money's money!
Mr. Grouse: No, I mean actual bones. [opens cash register, showing bones]
Flip: Hmm. Those must be worth something down here.
Rocky: [moping the floor] Hey Lucy, I'm glad your grandma isn't making us stay here for all eternity.
Lucy: Except for Lord Poltergeist. She just wanted to give us a little scare and for an hour of work, we'll get paid.
Lincoln: That's a relief.
Grandma Harriet: Hey everybody, hold onto something! It's time to serve the big Flippee.
Grandma Harriet is now giant and pours a drink out of the roof of the mini mart into a giant cup.
Grandma Harriet: [looks at viewers] Happy Halloween! [laughs]