Ch 125: A Loud Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas! Here is a parody of the second SpongeBob Christmas special "It's a SpongeBob Christmas." I like to imagine this happening instead of that live action Christmas movie, which was ok in my opinion but I'd say Lincoln was better in "11 Louds a Leapin" and in this parody. With that said, please read and review.
A mail truck drives through the mountain range. Bobby Santiago is driving the truck. He appears to be parodying S.D. Kluger from the song "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town."
Bobby: (to the viewers) Merry Christmas, folks! I bet you're wondering why ol' Bobby has this mail truck. Well, this year, I wanted to be absolutely sure Santa got my letter, so I gave Mr. Mailman the day off.
Sergio: It would've been funny if you tied him up and put him in the back.
Bobby: No it wouldn't! (to the viewers) Anyway, Sergio's here because he wanted to visit Santa too.
Sergio: Do you even know how to get to the North Pole?
Bobby: Oh, Sergio, you silly parrot. Everyone knows that the directions to the North Pole are in the lyrics of the song "Jingle Bells." Dashing through the snow, in a... [Mumbles] Through the fields we go. Fa la la la la. Okay. So we're looking for some fields here.
Sergio: No, Bobby, the directions to the North Pole are in the song, "There Goes Santa Claus." There goes Santa Claus. There goes Santa Claus. Left on Santa Claus Drive. Dodo brain.
Bobby: Yeah, well, we ain't turnin' till we see some fields.
Sergio: Look out! There's a fork in the road!
Bobby: I don't see no fork.
The truck spins after the fork gets caught in the tire and they both scream.
Bobby: While we wait for the truck to stop spinning, let's see what the Louds are up to this Christmas.
Now it cuts to Royal Woods and into the Loud house. Lincoln and Charles are sleeping. Lincoln's alarm clock goes off and sleigh bells are heard instead of the usual alarm sound. He wakes up.
Lincoln: Oh, it's drawing very near. My favorite time of the year. [He jumps out of bed] The snow is falling and the cold wind blows. [He gets dressed] Christmas is almost here. And I know that Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me! [He puts Christmas lights around the hallway and on the staircase] It keeps me warm and filled with glee to know Santa has his eyes on me. I light the house like a Christmas tree. Fa la la la la la la la lee. 'cause Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me. [Then he sees Lana in the living room next to a box on a stick tied with a string to a cookie] Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me. He sees everything I do, with his left eye on me and his right eye on you! [sees the box] Ooh, what's that?
Lana: It's a trap! A trap for Santa!
Lincoln: Baited with a Christmas cookie?
Lana: [in the tune of "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] I will trap Santa in my box, locked up like Fort Knox and make him stop the clocks. And we'll have Christmas all year long! [Then Cliff the cat goes for the cookie and the box traps him.] Cliff! That wasn't for you!
Lincoln: Ohh... Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me! Fa la la la la la la la la lee! [sees Lisa by the Christmas tree doing some kind of analyzer] And who is that I see? Underneath the Christmas tree?
Lisa: Oh, Christmas, oh, Christmas, it's a sweet mystery. I'll mix a dash of Christmas cheer with a candy cane and deconstruct its alchemy.
Lincoln: Hey Lisa, what's that?
Lisa: This, elder brother, is my Christmas analyzer. It analyzes anything that has to do with Christmas.
Then Lincoln smells something good and goes to the kitchen, where his Dad and Luan have finished baking Christmas dessert. Lynn Sr. had a tray of gingerbread man dressed as ninjas and Luan had cinnamon buns.
Lynn Sr: Ah, the most dangerous kind of cookie. The Ninjabread men.
Luan: [with cinnamon buns stick to her butt] And my buns are nice and toasty. [She and Lynn Sr. laugh at this.]
Lincoln: [comes in] Hey guys, making more Christmas treats?
Lynn Sr: You betcha! And this year I can share them with customers at my restaurant.
Lola comes in.
Lincoln: Hey Lola, are you ready for Christmas?
Lola: Duh. Christmas is my favorite time of the year! After all, 'tis the season of getting!
Lincoln: Don't you mean the season of giving?
Lola: Exactly! The more you give, the more I get. [Laughs]
Leni: [comes in] Lincoln, there you are! I need to do some Christmas shopping and I could use your help! Grab your coat and let's go! [grabs Lincoln]
Lincoln: Leni, wait! I haven't had breakfast yet!
Leni goes back to the kitchen and grabs a "ninja bread" man.
Leni: Here. [gives it to Lincoln]
After putting on their winter clothes, the two siblings go outside. Lincoln then notices his neighbor Mr. Grouse, putting up lights on his house.
Lincoln: Hey Mr. Grouse, what are you up to today?
Mr. Grouse: Stringing lights so Santa knows, in no uncertain terms... [Turns the lights on, which say "GO AWAY"] ...to go away!
Lincoln: Okay…[he walks off with Leni]
Now at Lena Shroud's house, where the little evil genius is in her lab creating another scheme.
Lena: Oh, Santa, Santa, Santa has his eye on me. He's seen everything I've done. Every plot, plan, and scheme. It's just a bit of fun. Santa has his eye on me. Every naughty deed is written in his scroll. So every Christmas morning, I get a stocking full of coal! [Dumps out coal from his stocking]
Alison: Maybe you'd get a real present from Santa if you weren't the biggest jerk in Royal Woods.
Lena: I'm way ahead of you, Alison!
A Periodic Table lowers from the ceiling. Lena walks over to it and sticks a piece of notepad paper on it. The paper says Jt for Jerktonium.
Lena: There is one element in the known universe that can turn even the nicest sap into the biggest jerk they can be! And I, Lena Shroud, have discovered it. Behold! [she pulls a lever] Jerktonium! [A piece of Jerktonium contained in a glass capsule lowers from the ceiling] I'll give everyone in Royal Woods a present of the most innocent of all holiday goodies. The fruitcake! [picture of a fruitcake appears on screen while she says the fruitcake] And each and every slice will be laced with Jerktonium! Once ingested, no one can help becoming the biggest, creepiest, meanest jerk ever! Then Santa will realize that Lena Shroud isn't so bad after all! And then I'll finally get what I really want for Christmas, Lisa's secret invention! [Lena jumps on an oven and holds the fruitcake] And now for the main ingredient, Jerktonium! [she adds the jerktonium] Okay, Jerktonium, do your stuff! [the jerktonium makes the fruitcake glow] It's complete! [Laughs]
Then Lena comes out, driving in a fruitcake vehicle.
Lena: Ha ha! The Jerkmaker 9000 will make doling out fruitcake a breeze! Now, who's gonna be my first victim?
Then Lincoln and Leni walk over to her.
Leni: Hey, Lena! What've you got there? [Gasps] Hey! Is that a fruitcake dispenser? You don't suppose I could have a piece, do ya?
Lena: Sure thing, fruitcake! Here you go! [Presses button on the dispenser as a robotic arm gives Leni a piece of fruitcake!]
Lena: Hot from the oven and full of lovin'! How about you, Lincoln?
Lincoln: [suspicious] No thanks. I'm allergic to fruitcake.
Leni is about to take a bite.
Lincoln: Leni, I don't think you should-
Leni: [sighs as she takes a bite] Wow! This is great!
Lena: So, how do you feel, kinda cranky?
Leni: No.
Lena: Sorta surly?
Leni: Mm-mm.
Lena: Maybe just a little bit jerky?
Leni: No. I feel just how this cake tastes! Absolutely delicious!
Lena: Hmm... She must have gotten a piece without Jerktonium! Here. Try some more.
Leni: Don't mind if I do!
Lincoln: [stops Leni] What are you up to, Lena?
Lena: What? I'm just spreading some holiday cheer by giving out free fruitcake!
Leni: Yeah, Lincoln. Relax. [she eats the fruitcake]
Lena: How's your dander? Is it up?
Leni: No. How could I possibly be angry when my taste buds are swimming in Christmas cheer? [she takes another piece; cut to inside of her mouth]
Taste Bud: Oh, boy, here comes some more! Yaaaay!
Lena: Grrr! Have some more! [she fires a piece into Leni's mouth]
Soon, Leni has eaten up to fifteen pieces of fruitcake and is now full. Lincoln just shakes his head in annoyance.
Lena: Well?
Leni: [burps] Well…I think everyone should taste your amazing fruitcake!
Lena: You know what? Knock yourself out. [She throws Leni the keys to the dispenser] Stupid hunk of junk-tonium! My gift to Royal Woods. Boy, oh, boy. [She goes back into her house]
Lincoln: So it was just ordinary fruitcake?
Leni: Seems like it. Come on, Lincoln.
Lincoln: But what about the Christmas shopping?
Leni: It can wait! We've got holiday goodies to share! [she pulls Lincoln in and rides the dispenser up to 3 carolers, Luna's friends, Sam, Sully, and Mazzy] Hello, fellow revelers! Would you like a Christmas treat?
Sully: Why, sure, Leni!
Sam: Yeah, who doesn't like treats?
SpongeBob: [takes a plate of fruitcake out of the dispenser] Nothing loosens up the old pipes like some fruitcake. Dig in!
They all take a piece.
Sam: It's like a present for my mouth!
Leni: I knew you'd like it.
Sully: [Grows bushy eyebrows, bags under his eyes, and a five-o'clock shadow] Hey! Did we come here to sing or eat fancy cake?
Sam: Whoa, calm down, dude. What do you want to sing?
Sully: Well, I want to sing the only Christmas song that matters, and that's "Jingle Bells". From the top! A one and a two and a –
Mazzy: [Turns into a jerk] Now hold your holly! We're singing the best Christmas song ever, and that's "Silver Bells"!
Sully: Wrong bells, buddy!
Sam: [Turns into a jerk] Hey, I want to sing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"!
They all continue to argue and fight. Lincoln is surprised at this since they were in such a good mood before.
Leni: [Driving away, unaware that they have been poisoned with Jerktonium] Great to see people so passionate about the holidays.
Lincoln: Uh, yeah…
Lena: [Emerges from her house with a jetpack on] What's all the racket? [sees the teens fighting] What do you know? The Jerktonium seems to work on these jerks. Very interesting.
Cut to a shot of a Christmas parade in town.
Leni: Oh boy, a Christmas parade! The perfect occasion to spread some mouthwatering joy.
Lincoln: Wait, Leni! I don't think-
Leni: [Singing] Oh, everyone, try some hot figgy pudding today. [throws fruitcake to everyone] Eat it all up and you will shout "Hooray!"!
Royal Wood Citizens: Hooray!
Leni: Everyone can get behind a mouthful of warm sunshine, everyone eat a Christmas time cliché. [People start turning into jerks. Somebody pops a kid's balloon. Another person smashes a gift over somebody's head. A firefighter squirts water from a hydrant at passers by] Everyone can get behind a mouthful of Christmas time, let's all eat some hot fruitcake today!
Lena: [rides through the rioting town] This just keeps getting better and better.
Costumed Santa: [On a float, with a boy on his knee] Ho ho ho! So, little boy, what would you like for Christmas?
Boy: I want a sled and a truck and a bike and a train …
Leni: Hi, Santa! Have some fruitcake. [she throws a piece]
Boy: And a water pistol and a helicopter and – and, uh …
Costumed Santa: [Turns into a jerk] Well, why don't you get a job and buy all that junk yourself? And while you're at it try brushing your teeth, you little-
Leni: Have some fruitcake! [Hands a piece to the float driver]
Driver: Thanks! [He eats it and turns into a jerk, which shocks him in surprise] That's it! I'm outta here! [He panickily leaves the float and it crashes off the end of a cliff]
Boy: [Bouncing on the Costumed Santa's belly] Whee-ee-ee! Oh, yeah. And I want a trampoline!
Lena: Success! Soon all citizens of Royal Woods will be jerks! Now I just need to figure out what to do about that ditzy teen and that white haired runt.
Cut to Lena's lab.
Alison: Once again your master plan is fatally flawed. [She brings up a diagram] It seems that Leni's innocent love of the holidays shields her heart from the effects of Jerktonium.
Leni Diagram: Dahahaha! That tickles.
Lena: Drat! That cinnamon roll's gonna throw my whole naughty to nice curve right off! And her brother has fruitcake allergies. I guess it's time to introduce Plan B. [she pulls a lever and a giant Leni and Lincoln robot drop from the ceiling] Hahahahaha! Plan B, meet Alison. Now go, my automated agents of naughtiness, go and destroy Leni and Lincoln's good name! [she laughs evilly but nothing happens] Huh? Oh yeah. [She winds up a key on their backs]
ToyLeni: I am ready.
ToyLincoln: I am ready.
Both: We are ready to destroy Christmas. [Flames shoot from Lenibot's sunglasses. They leave the Shroud house and Toy Leni destroys a car, then they head to Lynn's Table]
Lynn Sr: [comes out] What's going on out here? Oh, it's just you two. [Toy Lincoln burns the Lynn's Table sign, which nearly collapses on Lynn Sr, but luckily he moves out of the way]
Lena: [sees this] Oh, you two have been very naughty!
Cut back to Bobby and Sergio. The mail truck is still spinning out of control and finally comes to a rest.
Bobby: I can't believe we survived that horrifying car accident without a scratch. [He gets out of the truck and slips on the ice] Ow! [He notices the fork in the tire] Aw, here's the problem. Oh, that's not good. Flat tire, huh? Looks as sad as an empty bag of nachos. Brrr! It's cold up here. Why don't you folks at home go make a nice hot cup of cocoa while Sergio builds me a fire?
Now cut to a scene where Sergio and Bobby are huddled around a fire.
Bobby: [Shivering] Hello, kiddies. It's so cold, my phone froze. There hasn't been any food or water or food or food for over 20 minutes. [Coughs] Boy, I could sure could go for some buffalo wings right about now. Sounds good. Eh, Sergy?
[Bobby looks at the parrot and imagines him turning into a plate of buffalo wings] With a side of blue cheese dressing. [He grabs a fork, licks his lips, and lunges at Sergio who flies up. Bobby bites on the log Sergio was sitting on]
Sergio: Squawk! What are you doing, man?
Bobby: I'm sorry, Sergio, I don't know what got into me. I'm just so hungry!
Sergio: It's okay, pal, I can't stay mad at you.
Bobby: Aww. [Sergio imagines Bobby's head turning into a suet cake covered in bird food]
Bobby: Why are you looking at me like that, bird? [Sergio pecks at his head] What are you doing?
Cut back to Lincoln's storyline; He and Leni are riding the dispenser through Royal Woods and come across the three carolers Leni first gave Lena's fruitcake to.
Leni: Merry Christmas, fellas!
Sully: Ah, go stuff a stocking!
Leni: Gee. That wasn't very nice.
Lincoln: I'm telling you, Leni. Something weird is going on around here.
Leni drives past Lynn Sr, who is mending the Lynn's Table sign]
Lincoln: Seasons greetings, Dad!
Lynn Sr: Wha-... Well, you got some nerve, Lincoln! This is comin' outta yer allowance!
Lincoln: What's that all about? [Leni shrugs. She drives back to the Loud house and up to Lana, who is setting another trap]
Leni: Hey, Lana! What're you up to?
Lana: I think it's pretty obvious, Leni! [she eats a slice of fruitcake] I'm eating fruitcake and setting mouse traps for Santa! Now, if you don't mind, I'm kind of busy right now.
Leni: Yeesh, okay. Don't have to be a jerk about it. Everybody's on edge today. Must be the holiday jitters.
Lana: Nosy Loud. [she falls into her own trap] Yay, it works! [she screams as she gets caught in the mouse traps]
The next morning, Lincoln and Leni step out of their rooms dressed in their winter clothes.
Lincoln: Ah, Christmas Eve! When all of Royal Woods is filled with good will.
Leni and Lincoln then hear their siblings fighting in their rooms.
Lola: Merry Christmas, Lana. [throws an ornament at her sister]
Lana: Merry Christmas to you, too, Lola. [Throws an ornament at her sister's face]
Lynn: I got you a present! [hands Lucy a box, when she opens it, Lynn socks her in the face through the box.] Merry Fistmas! [laughs]
Luna: [chasing Luan] Dude! Give that back! It's a gift for Sam!
Luan: [holding a gift] Aww, are you two having a Merry Kissmas?
Luna tackles Luan and they fight. Lincoln and Leni look worried as they see all this.
Lincoln: So much for good will.
Leni: More like bad will! Gosh, if people don't start acting nicer, Santa's going to fly right past Royal Woods this Christmas Eve!
Lincoln: We're gonna need some help.
Leni: Maybe Mr. Grouse can help. [runs to her neighbor's house and knocks on Mr. Grouse's door]
Mr. Grouse: [From inside] I'm not home!
Leni: Oh gosh, what do I do now?
Mr. Grouse: Why don't you go bother Lisa?
Leni: Good idea, Mr. Grouse. I'll have to thank you when you get home. [she leaves, and Toy Leni walks up to Mr. Grouse's house, knocking on the door by walking into it]
Mr. Grouse: I said I'm not home! [Toy Leni wrenches the door off its hinges] Loud, give me back my door! [Toy Leni smashes it over Mr. Grouse's head]
Cut to Lisa's room. Lincoln and Leni rush over to their little scientist sister.
Lincoln: Lisa, Lisa! We need your help! It's Christmas Eve and everyone in Royal Woods is acting like jerks! You gotta help us find out why.
Lisa: [Turns around and bares her teeth, scaring Lincoln and Leni, showing that she's become a jerk] Why should I help all those jerks?
Leni: Because those jerks don't care about Christmas any more, Lisa! It's a problem.
Lisa: Problem? My only problem is I'm out of fruitcake. Only things I've got left to eat are boring old peanuts. [She throws one at Lincoln]
Lincoln: Oh, the problem isn't the fruitcake! The problem is that everyone, including you, is acting like a jerk! Oh, I'll have to solve this on my own.
[He turns to leave and slips on a nut, accidentally throwing the fruitcake into Lisa's Christmas analyzer] Whoa!
Lisa: Dang it, Lincoln, you got fruitcake in my Christmas magic analyzer! [An alarm sounds] Well, I'll be darned. My analyzer found something in the fruitcake! [She looks at the reading and gasps] This is terrible!
Leni: What is it, Lisa?
Lisa: The fruitcake is contaminated with Jerktonium! No wonder I've been as ornery as a sidewinder on a hot driveway. Jerktonium is the orneriest element of them all and your fruitcake is full of it.
Lincoln: I knew there was something odd about that fruitcake.
Lisa: Where'd you get that fruitcake, anyway?
Leni: From Lena, she baked it.
Lisa: You took food from my arch rival and fed it to everyone in town?
Leni: [smiling stupidly] Uh-huh.
Lisa: You're an idiot.
Leni: Uh-huh.
Lincoln: I tried to warn her.
Lisa: No wonder everyone in town is a big old meanie.
Lincoln: Not me. I didn't eat any fruitcake.
Leni: Oh! I've eaten a bunch of that fruitcake! I must be the biggest jerk in town!
Lisa: [Pokes her] Hmm … You don't act jerky. For some reason, it's not affecting you. [She puts a scanner in front of her] It must be a combination of your tiny brain and pure heart. You're immune to Jerktonium, Leni, but the rest of us will need an antidote. I'll set the analyzer to calculate the formula. [She pulls a switch and a music score pops out] Why, this formula for the antidote doesn't make no sense at all!
Lincoln: Hmm… That's no formula! It's a song! [He hums it, and Lisa becomes her normal self] Guys, the song is the antidote!
Cut to downtown Royal Woods, where people are still rioting.
Citizen: I hate your outfit!
Another citizen: Well I hate your face!
Leni and Lincoln show up.
Lincoln and Leni: Hey, everybody!
Lincoln snaps his fingers and mistletoe appears over the heads of the two citizens he fed Lena's fruitcake to, curing them of Jerktonium poisoning. He snaps again and a pile of presents appears, curing two other citizens. Then he snaps Luna out of her jerk stage and back to her normal self.
Lincoln: Luna, we need some Christmas music!
Luna: You got it, bro!
The rock teen begins to play Christmas baubles like bells, accompanied by her friends who have reverted back to normal and have their own instruments. Lincoln and Leni start to sing.
Lincoln and Leni: Bring joy to the world, it's the thing to do, but the world does not revolve around you. Don't be a jerk. It's Christmas! [Leni throws a snowball at Lynn Sr. and cures him]
Leni: Be nice to babies and animals, old folks, too. 'Cause that's how you'd like them to treat you! Use turn signals. Don't screen my calls. Don't you wreck the house when you deck the halls.
Lincoln: Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe. Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube. Don't be a jerk. It's Christmas! It's Christmas! [Hands a gift to Lola, who continues to pass it down a line, curing the rest of the family and other people as they receive it, except for Mr. Grouse, who was unaffected by the Jerktonium] When others are talking, never interrupt. Don't put people down or leave the toilet seat up.
Leni: It's the time for families and holly and turkey. 'Tis the season to be jolly, not jerky!
Loud Family and Friends: [in background chorus' voices] Jolly, not jerky!
Lincoln: Santa brought nearly every gift on your list. Why whine about the one that he missed?
Lincoln and Leni: Don't be a jerk, it's Christmas! It's Christmas! Don't be a jerk. It's Christmas!
After the song, everyone is cured and are all at Lynn's Table.
Lisa: [to Lincoln and Leni] Congratulations, elder siblings, your song worked!
Lincoln: And not a moment too soon. Santa should be here any minute.
Lynn Sr: You ain't kiddin'. Here he comes now!
They all clear the way as Santa Claus' sleigh and reindeer land in front of Lynn's Table.
Lincoln: Oh, boy! Santa! You made it!
Santa: Whoa, ho, ho, ho, ho! Cool your jets there, son. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad tidings.
Lincoln: Oh, no!
Santa: Oh, yes. It seems you're all on my naughty list this year.
Leni: Naughty list?!
Santa: No buts about it. You've all been a bunch of jerks.
Leni: But-!
Santa: But nothing. Coal for everyone! Except Lena!
Loud Family, and Friends.: Wha-a-at?!
Santa: I'm just as surprised as you, but compared to the rest of you, she's been a saint. [Hands Lena the secret invention] Here you go, Lena, I believe this is what you asked for.
Lisa: My secret invention? How did you acquire that?
Santa: I have my ways.
An elf reaches into Lynn Sr.'s pocket and takes his wallet.
Lola: Um... Dad?
Lynn Sr: Huh? [Slaps the elf] Get out of my pocket, you little shrimp!
Lincoln: But- but- but- but- but- but-! [Lynn slaps him] But, Santa, you've got it all wrong!
Santa: On the contrary, Lincoln, you and Leni are the worst of all. There you go, right now—wreaking havoc!
[The crowd parts and reveals the rampaging toy siblings]
Lena: Uh-oh.
Toy Lincoln and Leni: [Focuses on Lincoln, Leni, Lena and Santa] We are ready to destroy Christmas. [transforms into their mega mode] Destroy Santa.
Lincoln: If you want Santa, you gotta get through me!
Leni: And me!
Mega-Lincoln: Okey-dokey. [The toy siblings karate chop Lincoln and Leni]
Santa: Oh, my.
Lincoln: Is that all you got?
[Mega Toy Lincoln and Leni pick up their enemies and fling them far away, then Toy Leni and releases a flame and Toy Lincoln has a big hammer]
Santa: I'm outta here. [He hides in the restaurant but Toy Lincoln finds him and picks him up] You do realize this counts as naughty.
Then the real Leni and Lincoln come back with Leni driving the fruitcake dispenser.
Leni: You leave that jolly elf alone, you big tin imposters! [Fires fruitcake at Mega Toy Lincoln and Leni] Hot from the oven, full of lovin'! [Rushes back to rescue Santa] Hurry up, Santa, hop on!
Santa hops on, and they escape. The Mega siblings short out and explode.
Santa: Thanks again for saving my keister.
Lincoln: Oh, it was nothing.
Santa: You're clearly both very good guys, unlike the owner of that wind-up monstrosity. [An elf hands him the wind-up key] What have we got there? "If found, please return to Lena Shroud"? Lena?!
Lena: Uh-oh. [tries to escape with the secret invention but Lisa traps her with a freeze ray.
Lisa: Hand it over, Lena. Don't make it any worse. [Takes the invention back.]
Santa: O.K., boys, let's give Lena what she deserves. [The elves pour coal onto the four year genius] So long, kiddies! Ho-o-o-o, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! [He flies away as everyone [except Mr. Grouse] waves goodbye to him]
Then a car drives up to the restaurant. The driver is revealed to be Lori, who has driven here from college.
Lori: Merry Christmas everyone!
Leni: Lori!
Lori: What did I miss?
Lincoln: A lot.
Leni: It's a long story.
Lincoln: Hey, has anyone seen Lana?
Lana: [Hiding on Santa's sleigh] Hee hee hee hee. I gotcha! [Catches Santa in a net, sending the sleigh off course]
Cut back to Bobby and Sergio. The parrot is still pecking on the teen's head.
Bobby: [Notices a sign] Santa's workshop? I'm here, Santa! I'm here!
Sergio: I'm not going in there.
Bobby: Santa! [He sits on Santa's lap and pulls out his letter] There's only thing I want for Christmas! And it's to visit Lori and her family.
Santa sprinkles magic dust on Bobby to make his wish come true, then the illusion breaks and Bobby realizes he's in a cave with a polar bear who sprinkled him with salt because he wants to eat him. The bear chases him. The scene then cuts to Sergio standing next to Santa.
Santa: I'd be happy to give Bobby his Christmas wish, if he survives for Christmas.
Sergio: You're a riot, Santa.
They laugh.
Both: [to the viewers] Merry Christmas!