Another chapter! Hope you enjoy it!

Mainly: Tawnypelt, Squirrelflight, Mothwing, Spottedfeather and Hawkfrost povs

throughout this book!

O0O0O0O0O0O

This is all my fault.

Those five words went round and round in Squirrelflight's head as she sat in silence as one of the few remaining warriors standing vigil for their dearly departed Clanmates.

It made her sick to her stomach to see Cinderpelt curled tightly around two of her kits. The kits that she and Brambleclaw were going to raise into great warriors. Brambleclaw had been broken into pieces since Cinderpelt's tragic death but had periodically split his time doting on their only surviving kit currently being nursed by Sandstorm and coming to mourn his mate and the kits who didn't even have the chance to live.

On the other paw. Graystripe was curled just a few mouse-lengths away. Being mourned bybboth Firestar and Spottedleaf. Her mother looked so tired, as though all these deaths had sucked out some of her nine lives.

'It's almost as though they are sleeping.' Squirrelflight thought. Wishing if only that was the case and that they'd be waking up in the morning.

Squirrelflight started out of her despairing thoughts as fur brushing up against her. But she relaxed when she recognized the light gray tom that came to sit beside her.

"You shouldn't stay up all night." Sootfur meowed. His amber eyes glancing over the short ginger furred warrior.

Squirrelflight avoided eye contact. Feeling undeserving of that worry and concern. Not with how much she failed both Graystripe and Cinderpelt.

"We have an early morning tomorrow." Sootfur continued. "Firestar is going to have a meeting with all the Clan leaders at Fourtrees to figure out what we're going to do next."

"After the vigil Firestar is going to choose a new deputy." Squirrelflight meowed. The thought just comes to mind instead of everything else that's more important. "I hope it's not me."

Sootfur looked confused, "why wouldn't you want to be the Clan deputy? You'd make a good one."

Squirrelflight shook her head. Then pointed to both Cinderpelt and Graystripe. "I failed them both. Just like I failed Spiderpaw. A true deputy wouldn't allow so many cats to die under their care."

Sootfur seemed to take a moment to process what Squirrelflight had just told him. Before he made a face that expressed disbelief. "You can't still be blaming yourself for all that can you? You had no control over those situations!"

Squirrelflight whipped her head around and hissed out, "Oh isn't it? I was the one that told Spiderpaw to go hunt near that tree and I didn't keep an eye on him. And I was the one that led the rescue mission. That's all on me!"

Sootfur's fur began to bristle as he harshly retorted back. "That's completely mouse-brained! We all know that tree held up for moons and didn't think at any point that it could fall like that. And everyone on that rescue mission would be at fault for not saving Cinderpelt or Graystripe if you keep thinking along those lines."

"But Sootfur--" Squirrelflight tried to object but Sootfur didn't seem to want to listen.

"Nobody blames you for what happened. I don't blame you. I highly doubt that Spiderpaw, Cinderpelt or Graystripe blame you either from wherever they are in StarClan." Sootfur declared, his amber eyes flashing with conviction. "You keep putting all the blame on yourself. Which is completely unfair. You think Ferncloud and Dusptlet aren't blaming themselves for not being there for their son? You don't think Brambleclaw isn't beating himself up for not protecting Cinderpelt when he was a part of the rescue? You think Firestar isn't blaming herself for sending out all those patrols? Don't you think of anyone else but yourself?"

Before Squirrelflight could come up with a reply. Sootfur was already stalking off in a huff.

Leaving Squirrelflight more confused and guilt- ridden than ever. But in a different way now.

O0O0O0O0O0O

Mothwing had many regrets and the biggest one currently was being unable to help her Clanmates. They were all suffering and dying all around her and she was limited in what she could do.

As she moved from cat to cat. Some of which weren't even a part of the Clan's and were rogues or loners and some kittypets, she felt tired both physically and mentally.

However it was better being tired than the alternative; having time to think about the destruction of all she knows going on around her.

Assessing patients and what ails them and working to find enough herbs and salves to heal them took up a lot of her focus. It gave her an escape from everything to just disappear in her work as a medicine cat apprentice.

"Here, Sandstorm," Mothwing meowed as she gave the nursing mother of now four some more borage. "This will help with producing more milk."

"Thank you, Mothwing." Sandstorm meowed, sounding just as tired as Mothwing felt.

Mothwing hummed. She watched Sandstorm swallow the leaves whole. Her eyes then fluttered down to the smoky-gray tabby she-kit that laid amongst Sandstorm's other kits. She was so tiny but she was fighting hard to survive and Mothwing wouldn't let her niece die without giving her a fighting chance.

"She's a fighter, isn't she?" Sandstorm meowed, echoing Mothwing's thoughts.

Mothwing nodded in agreement. "Has Brambleclaw come up with a name yet?"

Sandstorm nodded. "Yes. He decided to name her Cinderkit. In honor of Cinderpelt."

Mothwing thought it was sort of cruel that Cinderkit would always have that sort of tragic reminder as her name. With how brutal Cinderpelt has died it would always be the first thing to a cat's mind. And it might even hurt Brambleclaw to say her name at times. Mothwing wonders if she should talk to her brother and get him to reconsider.

As she was thinking this Sorreltail's slender, dappled, tortoiseshell-and-white body came padding up, carrying a mouse clearly meant for Sandstorm. "Here, Sandstorm, I brought you a mouse." The warrior meowed, shyly dipping her head to Mothwing the she-cat leaned her head down to rest the mouse in front of Sandstorm's paws. "It's so you produce more milk. Or that's what Spottedleaf once said."

The pale ginger queen purred softly, and thanked her former apprentice. "Thank you, Sorreltail. I really appreciate all that you are doing. Cinderpelt must be looking down on us from StarClan and being so thankful that so many of her Clanmates are being there for Cinderkit and Brambleclaw."

A strange nervous look appeared across the usually sassy and outspoken warrior. She appeared highly uncomfortable and quickly made an excuse to leave. It was strange behavior but it must be hard seeing the last reminder of Cinderpelt so soon after her death.

Though Mothwing saw something like knowing in Sandstorm's leaf-green eyes. Something that Mothwing didn't understand and really didn't want to at the moment.

"I'm going to go check on some of the others now." Mothwing meowed, leaving Sandstorm to the care of her Brackenfur who was returning from a hunting patrol.

But before she could, Firestar decided that it was a good idea to finally name a new deputy.

Many warriors have been muttering about whether or not Firestar was going to even announce a new deputy or not. Tradition had already been broken. Though Mothwing supposed that so much death and destruction had happened with so many cats, now including WindClan and RiverClan joining the mix, naming a new deputy was at the bottom of the list.

Mothwing joined her mentor, Spottedleaf, to go hear the announcement. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here amongst Sunningrocks for a Clan meeting." Mothwing heard her mother call from atop the sunbaked rocks.

Both Mothwing and Spottedleaf sat at the base of the rocks as a mingling of all Clans and even some curious strays came to see who the new ThunderClan deputy would be.

Mothwing felt great anticipation as Firestar began. "The time has come to appoint a new deputy." Pausing, Firestar's seemed to sweep over the crowd. "I say these words before StarClan," she continued, "that the spirits of our ancestors may hear and approve my choice."

By now all the cats had turned their faces up to her; she looked down at their eyes gleaming curiously and Mothwing could almost taste everyone's reluctant excitement. "Mousefur will be the new deputy of ThunderClan," she announced.

For a heartbeat there was silence. The small dusky brown she-cat in question looked surprised, but quickly she seemed to collect herself and rise from the crowd to exclaim; "Thank you, Firestar! For giving me such an honor as to represent and aid our Clan. I will fulfill the role as deputy to the best of my abilities."

As Mousefur finished speaking, sound gradually swelled from the assembled cats, a mixture of yowls and purrs and voices calling, "Mousefur!" All the Clan began to press around the dusky brown warrior, congratulating her.

Mothwing found Mousefur to be an unusual choice. Sure, Mousefur was a no nonsense sort of cat and would get things done for sure. But she also has trouble with patience and could be very snappy at times. Not to mention how old she was getting. Nothing was really wrong with Mousefur's age but Mothwing thought ThunderClan would benefit more from a younger cat.

And besides, Mousefur had a Graystripe shaped hole to fill. One that Firestar would no doubt have trouble adapting too. Sometimes, Mothwing wondered if in another life, maybe her mother and Graystripe would have been mates. Mothwing quickly shook away that thought. The thought of her mother with anyone other than her father disgusted her.

"This will be good for Mousefur," Spottedleaf meowed, startling Mothwing. "She's been grieving the loss of Spiderpaw since his death. It will help take her mind off of it now."

Mothwing almost forgot that Mousefur had been Spiderpaw's mentor. His death has been so long ago and has been overshadowed by the recent deaths. It was hard to keep up with others' personal grievances.

"Yeah. Hopefully." Mothwing murmured. Hoping that it was true.

O0O0O0O0O0O

Fun facts

Squirrelflight blamed herself some more.

Sootfur not putting up with Squirrelflight self loathing.

Mousefur the new deputy.

Squirrelflight can't be deputy because she doesn't have an apprentice (although she will soon)

Bramble x Cinder equals Cinderkit! (A.k.a Cinderheart!)

Mothwing is gonna have her own hard times soon!

Firestar lost so far: daughter-in-law, grandkids, best friend/deputy, and her daughter and son-in-law are missing, and most of her Clanmates are also dead.

son-in-law are missing, and most of her Clanmates are also dead.