Chapter 15 – Night at the Movies

Rosalie, sitting at her dressing table and combing her hair, looks up when she hears my approach. Her face breaks out in a smile as I offer her the bouquet.

"Oh Eleanor, how…? They're beautiful." Rosalie lifts the blooms to her face, breathing deeply. "Thank you."

"Something pretty for my pretty girl." I grin at her. "Esme bought them from town. So it's a gift from me, and a gift from her to say that as long as I'm making you happy she approves."

I see the slight lessening of tension in her shoulders as she lowers the flowers and smiles at me. "I couldn't really see Esme being hateful about this. Not when she's always been such a hopeless romantic! But I hated the idea of doing anything else that might make her think less of me; she's been more of a mother to me than my own ever was, and I really don't know what I would have done without her." Rosalie arranges the roses in the crystal cut vase on her dressing table. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to make you understand what it was like when I first woke in this world. The absolute furious rage of me! I detested everything about this new life and was full of hatred towards Carlisle for being the one to force it upon me, and was utterly consumed by bitterness over everything I'd lost. I also didn't hold back from showing my displeasure." She smiles wryly. "I was awful to live with! But Esme never held it against me, she looked past the tantrums and saw the trauma and hurt behind it all and she did everything she could to help me."

"I'm sorry you had such a hard time of it."

"I didn't really help myself," Rosalie says. "There's nothing Pollyanna-ish about me, and I don't have the kind of nature that lends itself to self-sacrificing stoicism! But I could probably have been a little more gracious." She raises her eyebrows at me. "You didn't seem to have any such problems."

I shrug. "No, but that was kind of different. I didn't have the human death that you did – sure, being mauled by a bear wasn't fun, but it wasn't exactly personal. What happened to you…that's going to change a person."

That bear took my life. But what those men did to Rosalie took so much more from her, with the violence and terror and degradation, and I'm only just beginning to see how deep the scars go.

"Besides," I go on, hoping to lighten the mood. "I woke up looking at you. And feeling pretty relieved when I realised that I hadn't actually died and gone down below, because I always had a sneaking suspicion that when the time came maybe it wouldn't be Saint Peter greeting me at the pearly gates. I mean, it's not like murder or anything, but I wasn't exactly a model example of a good girl my whole life! All the irreverent things I thought and said, and the way I felt about girls, and the times Patrick and I made apple scrumpy and got drunk out in the barn…and that time we smoked cigarettes and set fire to the chicken coop and told Pa it must have been a tramp…oh, and when I was little and I stole a nickel from Aunt Mary Grace and bought candy…and that time I hid a mouse in Evie's church purse so she'd scream when she got out her collection penny…"

Rosalie is laughing helplessly, and I can't help but wrap my arms around her and breathe in the scent of her hair as I lift it enough to kiss the skin below her ear. "Besides, this is mostly fun, what with all the speed and strength and extra smarts I've got now…and course, there's this."

"You didn't have this when you first woke up." Rosalie twines her arms around my neck and grins at me.

"Well, no." I hold her a little tighter. "This is like finding the grail. But even if this hadn't happened, if you hadn't been interested…I would have made it be enough just to be your friend. And that's still true – you don't ever have to do anything with me that you don't want to. You can say stop at any time, say this is as far as it goes, and I'll honour that. I'll spend eternity holding your hand and slow dancing with you and nothing else, and as long as you let me love you I'll be happy."

"Holding hands and slow dancing?" Rosalie curls her fingers through mine and leans into me, and we circle slowly through the small space in her room. "I like the sound of that…but I like the sound of this too."

Grinning wickedly, she hooks her foot behind my ankle and tips me neatly backwards onto the bed. Laughing she throws herself down beside me, tugging at my clothes until I roll over her, my weight pressing her down into the bed.

"I want both," she says hoarsely, clasping her hands behind my neck and pulling my face towards her. "Hand holding and slow dancing and bouquets of flowers and…and…more."

Sweet Jesus, yes.

I used to go to the cinema with my siblings whenever we could get enough money together. I liked the Westerns best, with the horses and the gunfights, and there was always a romance between the dashing hero and the beautiful woman. A dramatic embrace and a decorous kiss…a moment I imagined myself into on more than one occasion.

But there's nothing decorous about this. This is raw, and wild, and brings with it a hunger that goes far beyond food or even blood. I want you. It's like being swept away, with hot mouths and soft hair and her legs wrapped around my hips as I grind against her. I suck at her neck and hear the rumbling growl of her desire as she rakes her hands deliciously down my back and arches her body towards me.

"Rosa…beautiful one…oh, you're so good…"

I run my hand down her thigh until my fingertips touch the lace edge of her knickers and squeeze, breathing in the scent of her arousal that's starting to drift tantalising through the room. I let her roll me over so that she can straddle me from above and then I'm kissing her again, her tongue in my mouth and her hands tight in my hair. The whole world narrows down to the pulsing waves of pleasure and desire of what she's doing to me.

"I did what you said." Rosalie has one of my legs clamped in between her thighs and, with her skirt hitched up around her hips, is shamelessly rubbing herself against me. "About finding my pearl…in the bathtub, I thought about you and…oh! I had no idea…"

Just the thought of it makes me groan. She feels and smells and tastes so good, and her increasing pleasure is echoing through my body too. I can't stop touching her, and she doesn't stop me as I stroke the curve of her butt and then run my hand upwards until I'm cupping her breast. I can feel how hard her nipple is even though her clothes and, as I flick my thumb over it, Rosalie breathes in hard and the movement of her hips quickens.

"Oh yes…please…oh Nell, I…"

I explore the shape of her breast in my hand, massaging her flesh, and Rosalie's words trail off into a mewing whimper. She moves faster, and I breathe her name and pinch her nipple, and then she's shaking and writhing against me, humping on my leg as she comes, burying her face against my chest to muffle her cry. I grab her hips and press my thigh harder against her, and she slides up to kiss me with wild abandon.

"Oh Nell, that was…good…I didn't know it would happen like that." She laughs breathlessly, but then a shadow crosses her face. "You don't mind?" Self-consciously she starts tugging her skirt back down.

"Mind?!" I lay a hand caressingly on her thigh, keeping her skirt where it is. She's eight inches shorter than me but her legs are endless. "Rosa-girl, I love to see it. I can't even tell you how much it makes me happy to know that you're happy."

"You can do that too." Rosalie kisses me again, nipping at my lower lip, her hair falling forward to surround us. "Whatever you do, I mean. I want you to feel good too."

"Oh sweet hell." For a moment I think I can't possibly. Because as good as it feels grinding against the knee she's got jammed in between my legs, I know I'm not going to come without a hand down my pants and I don't know if I can do that in front of her. But I'm so turned on, every part of me throbbing and swollen with unsatisfied desire, that Rosalie's kisses and whispered invitation easily override any hesitation. I slip my hand inside my knickers, into the slick, wet heat, and it barely takes a moment of pressure and friction on my hard little pearl before I'm being rocked by the strongest climax I've ever felt. I arch up against Rosalie, breathing her name and closing my eyes as I shudder through the waves of bliss.

Oh Rosalie…oh yes.

"I thought you were supposed to be good at everything?" I raise my eyebrows as Edward drops a pile of split logs by my side. "That's the most uneven bunch of rails I've ever seen."

Edward rolls his eyes. "Please, excuse my lack of familiarity with the vagaries of timber when it's being split."

"I'll expect better from the next lot," I say cheerfully, starting to fit the rails into the supporting posts of the fence. "Still, as long as they keep the damned deer out of my crops they'll do."

I hadn't wasted any time getting started on Esme's plans to feed the needy. Clearing the slope from the house down to the road by ripping trees out of the ground with my bare hands had proved surprisingly fun, and vampire strength and tirelessness really came into their own when it came to farm chores. Working at night, with my ears alert to the sound of anyone on the road who might see me, I had the whole area cleared and ploughed and planted within days. All the cleared trees provided the logs needed for the fencing, and as the good weather was already coaxing growth from the crops I'd roped Edward into helping me finish the fence.

"Crops attracting the deer might cut down on the time spent hunting," Edward jokes. "Our own meal delivery service."

"I like hunting," I say, although I don't take it any further. Because while I might like hunting, my newfound relationship with Rosalie involves something I like a lot more and my time spent out in the forest has therefore been cut down considerably.

Being able to be openly in love with Rosalie feels like it's shifted my whole world on its axis. Being able to touch her, to hold her and kiss her and gaze into those beautiful golden eyes as she smiles at me is everything I've ever dreamed of and more. My days feel fuller and better and easier just because she's mine. Having her there to talk to and laugh with and tease, to play games and compete with, to dream in companionable silence with…it makes everything feel whole.

Even resisting blood is easier. Because while the scent of a human might make the venom run and the thirst burn, the quickest look or the briefest touch of Rosalie's fingers against mine reminds me that there's something I want more and I'm brought back to myself.

Because oh, I want her! All the time, with a yearning that outstrips even the desire for blood, I want her. We're still kissing with clothes on and somewhat limited touching of each other, but even as I want more the pleasure of what we're doing feels like flying.

I think about it again, the way she'd looked this morning with her legs wrapped around my hips and the noises she'd made when I'd nibbled her earlobe and teased her nipple through the softness of a cashmere sweater and…

"Oof!" I'm so lost in thought that I don't even notice Edward hurling half a tree at me until it smacks me square in the back of the head. "What was that for?!"

"Stop it!" he shouts. "For the love of all that's holy, will you please stop replaying every single moment of your amorous activities every time I'm near you? You make me see pictures," he adds, tormented.

"I'm sorry!" I say. "I am, I know how objectionable you find it, but I'm not doing it on purpose to annoy you! Lord knows I don't want you involved in my business there."

"Well, try harder to keep your mind on the job then," Edward snorts. He starts helping me fit the next section of rails to the fence posts, saying a little grudgingly. "I could do without the play by play from your thoughts, but I do think you're good for each other. Rosalie in love is positively mellow compared to the way she was."

My mind immediately skips back to the previous night, with Edward and Rosalie screaming at each like harpies because Rosalie saw him reading a mystery book she'd already finished and, in a fit of spite, deliberately thought about the ending.

Edward coughs. "Well, yes…I didn't say she was perfect!"

I can't help laughing. I might worship the ground she walks on, but even I have to admit that she has her faults.

"Speaking of my girl, we'd better hurry up here," I say, glancing up at the sky. "She's very keen on tonight's movie outing, and I'm going to need to get changed."

"Don't push it too hard tonight," Edward warns. "I know Rosalie wants it all to work out and you've been doing very well lately, but you've never spent so long in an enclosed area with humans before and it's really going to test your limits."

"Yeah, I know. But we'll sit near the exit so we can make a quick getaway, and I'm not going to try and be a hero." The blood on my hands is already more than enough, and I don't want to tempt fate too much. "Besides, I'm sick of always having to stay home alone! It'll be great to go out with the rest of you, and I bet it'll be fine. I'm feeling good."

I mean it, but as Edward parks the car in the lot behind the cinema and we join the people wandering towards the bright lights of the box office I can't help but feel the doubts creeping in. This is a lot of people, and the flames of thirst are licking higher at my throat the closer we get to the crowd.

But we join the queue for tickets, and I manage to stand steady as the temptation swirls around me. It helps to have Rosalie next to me, although I have to clasp my hands firmly together behind my back and keep them there to stop myself from reaching towards her and touching her.

"Best not to," Edward murmurs. "We're attracting rather more attention than I'd like as it is."

Even I've noticed the looks we're getting. I'm not entirely surprised by this – who could ever catch even a glimpse of Rosalie and not stare?

It's not just Rosalie though. The compelling otherworldliness of any single vampire, now multiplied by five in a group, really shows some exponential growth. It's something of a relief to have tickets in hand and go inside to find our seats.

I look at a little wistfully at the popcorn boxes stacked up behind the concession counter. The actual smell of human food is always slightly repellent, but I'm close enough to my human life to remember the rare joys of movie time treats. With a rueful grin at Edward I follow Esme into the theatre.

We sit in the back corner, right in front of the exit. Rosalie on the end of the row beside me with Edward on my other side, then Carlisle and Esme in two seats in front of us. All strategically placed to keep me in my seat and stop me from lunging towards any unsuspecting human's unfortunate neck if my control fails.

"It won't fail," Edward says with a sideways smile. "You're ready for this. Besides, I'm listening to every thought that crosses your mind…I'll probably know before you do if it's getting dicey, and we'll have you outside in a minute."

"Because that would really be inconspicuous," I say. "No one would ever notice the four of you manhandling my six foot five ass out of here while I howl for blood. I'm sure no one would even bat an eyelid."

I grin at him and hope he's right that I'm ready for this because, as the lamps dim and the curtains swing back from the screen, it all starts to feel like a lot. The movie itself, the flickering lights and scenes and sounds, the smells of popcorn and perfume and hair oil, all of it laid over the intoxicating song of beating hearts and warm flowing blood…but for a moment Rosalie leans her shoulder against mine, and somehow it all becomes a little more bearable.

It's fun though, in the end. It feels so human, being here in the cinema surrounded by people all watching the same show and cheering on the hero and booing the bad guys. Hidden away in the back corner we're surrounded by couples on date night, and at one point even Esme stops turning back every five minutes to make sure I'm behaving and snuggles under Carlisle's arm. The movie itself has everything I like and is just the icing on the cake.

The thirst is relentless though. All that temptation so close, blood flowing faster and warmer in the couples sneaking kisses in the other dark rear seats, is hard to ignore. I hold myself back, keeping everything tightly under control, but it's a relief when The End appears on the screen and I can escape.

Rosalie is very quiet on the drive home. The rest of us talk about the film, but she doesn't join in and when I reach out and touch her hand she curls her fingers around mine but won't look at me. I don't know what's on her mind.

"Rosa?" I hang back as we park the car in the barn, letting Carlisle and Esme and Edward go ahead of us to the house. "You all right?"

"Mm." Rosalie shrugs a little unconvincingly, then bends over to check the tyre pressure of the car.

"Did I do something?" She doesn't exactly seem mad, but she's clearly not happy either. "You were so excited about tonight and…I mean, I thought it went pretty well? I didn't eat anyone, we weren't chased out of town by a mob waving pitchforks and flaming torches…even the movie was great!"

Rosalie smiles faintly, reaching up to gently touch my cheek. "I know. Nothing happened; you did beautifully. I'm a little…I think I might go out hunting. Be by myself for a little while."

With a last soft smile she turns and runs towards the forest, disappearing into the trees. I want to run after her, to grab her and make her tell me what's really bothering her, but I know it won't work. She wants to be alone, and I've learned enough about her to know that it's usually best to give her that and wait for her to be ready to talk. Even if it's not what I want to do at all.

But I may as well make myself useful as sit around worrying about her, so I grab the tools and get to work splitting some more rails for the fence. I've piled up quite a stack (better than Edward's…how can he not see the seams and lines of the timber and know exactly where and how he needs to work it?) when Edward himself appears.

"Would you like some help?"

"Sure, that'd be good." Building a fence is an easier job with two people, so I offload as many rails as he can hold into his arms and then hoist up my own lot before leading him back over to where we left off this afternoon.

"I suppose you know what's up with Rosalie?"

Edward makes a noncommittal noise and I give him a reproachful look. "You could help me out occasionally. Just a tiny hint now and again…"

"Would you like if it shared your innermost thoughts with Rosalie?" Edward compacts the dirt around the next fence post.

"I wouldn't care," I say, completely truthfully. "It's not like I don't basically say all my innermost thoughts, what there are of them. I'm not exactly all that deep."

Edward laughs. "Well, Rosalie very much would care. She'll talk to you when she's ready. But there, I'll say one thing and I don't think it's really betraying any confidences - she loves you. Even if she won't say it yet…she loves you."