Miya was not having a good day, not at all, not in the slightest. In fact, it was the opposite. If she were to rank it from worst to best this one would be right up there with the time she got bitten by a snake.
Cold, ruthless, crazy fast creatures they were.
She shuddered at the memory before focusing her attention back to the task at hand. Granted, she knew this was about to happen sooner or later. Miya just wished that it wouldn't be now. Actually, scratch that, would she have gotten any say in the matter...she wouldn't be having this problem in the first place.
Boys have it so easy. Why wasn't I born a boy instead?
She mentally complained, slowly standing up from the bed. She grimaced. Somehow seeing all the blood made it even worse. There was a lot of it. How hadn't she felt anything? Why was there so much?
She stared at it in pure horror upon realizing what this meant. When Mito woke-up one day in the same way she woke-up now, everybody found out. Apparently, it called for celebration which was so stupid that she felt like punching them all for turning her sister's agony into a banquet.
Surely her parents would be against it, right?
She had never been as wrong or felt as betrayed before. Not only did Uzumaki Isao and Yume agree, it was their idea. Something about Mito finally becoming a woman. That's what they said, anyway.
And it was a big fat lie, she had soon come to realize. It didn't mean something glorious, no...it was her twin's parchment to an arranged marriage, to reducing her role as nothing more than a wife and children-bearer. Miya felt disgusted and she didn't speak with them for a long time. She couldn't understand if her sister was masking her sadness or if she simply didn't mind the circumstances.
Not like what we want ever mattered.
The redhead gripped the stained sheets tightly, ripping them in the process of pulling them off the bed. She had to get rid of them and fast, before somebody saw. Her life would be over then before it even began. Her dream to fight alongside men would get crushed and she was damned if she accepted her fate without putting up a fight.
Miya wished she had helped Mito more, like sisters should but she found out too late and killing the witnesses was not an option, no matter how much she loved her twin.
Dragging the sheets towards the fireplace, she dropped them into the merciless flames, watching the proof turn grey, then ashes. Next, she had to do something about the stains on the floor. Miya had never cleaned before, it was not her duty to do it, not when she had others for the task but the servants were her enemies now and she was alone in this. If she wanted to win and hide what was going on, she had to push her pride aside and do it but before she started cleaning, she had to make sure she won't make it messy again.
A bath. That's what she needed and some improvised piece of material to stop the blood from staining her clothes and the floor any more than it had already done. Another thing she wasn't used to. Her attendants would always be nearby, washing her hair, doing her nails...
Miya sighed.
This is a small price to pay.
It was and she had to be a woman and deal with it. Wrapping a towel around her body after she finished, she looked through her wardrobe before pulling out a purple dress, unlike the red ones she loved so much. It would remind her every second that she was never going to be the same again. Then she took out another one, a gift that she hated, from a lord who was more drunk than sober, furiously ripping at it so it could be used as a...Well, she didn't exactly get how it worked, she just knew she won't have to worry about bleeding through her clothes for a few hours until she will have to return and put another piece of material inside her lower garments.
Miya carried her dirty clothes to the fireplace next, doing the same thing she did with the sheets, then she took her bath sponge and began scrubbing at the floor. When she was done, she had to admit, servants had it a lot tougher than her and her respect for them had grown in the meantime.
After brushing her hair, another red reminder of her condition, she took one last look around her chambers, inspecting them for any clue that might let people know what happened. Upon spotting none, she walked out, doing her best not to slouch and act like she always did although it was proving to be a much more tedious task than she had initially predicted.
Did I really use to move around so much?
She wasn't going to do it anymore, at least not until this horrible phase disappeared. Just a few days and then she won't ever have to deal with it again.
Right?
Miya hoped so otherwise she was going to the shrine to yell at the god who thought making her a girl was a good idea.
And what fun would that be.
...
During breakfast, despite knowing that she had gotten rid of all evidence, she couldn't help but stare at the entrance of the dining hall as if any second now someone was going to come and tell her parents.
Don't be silly, Miya.
She chided herself, biting into her apple. Everybody was giving her confused looks and worried glances and she fought the urge to snap at them.
"Is something the matter darling?" her tou-sama asked, with the best intentions in the world.
She shook her head. "No, why would it be?"
When all else fails, play dumb.
"You are not usually this quiet Miya." her kaa-san explained, as if she and her father were thinking the same thing.
The bold redhead continued to bite into the fruit, knowing she needed to act natural otherwise their suspicious will become assumptions. It was the last thing she needed.
"I had a nightmare." that was a safe answer. Night terrors could shake up even the strongest of people.
And indeed, she was right, nobody asked her any more questions after that.
Her teachers were in a league of their own, however. They didn't question her condition but they took her silence as a sign of her finally maturing and decided to test her knowledge on several subjects.
In other words, it was torture.
She had cramps all over, back, stomach, legs, down there, you name it. The feeling of carrying around a pouring waterfall was always present and she felt like curling up into a ball and cry her eyes out because the world just wasn't fair. Add these to her teacher's constant nagging and you got a very moody and depressed Uzumaki Miya.
Not that she planned to show it. At least she hoped her features weren't betraying her. She had half a mind to skip today but if she planned to become a ninja one day, then she had to endure. Pain and boring lessons.
The path I've chosen for myself has no shortcuts.
A breath of relief escaped her when the old hags left the room, letting her and Mito alone.
"There is something else bothering you aside from a nightmare. If that one even occurred."
Since when had her sister gotten so...smart? No, she had always been and their father always said they were two halves of the same coin.
They could read each other easily. Such was the bond between twin sisters.
What to say, what to say...
"Are you calling me a liar?" Miya asked, pretending to feel offended by such a 'ridiculous assumption.' She didn't often lie, not really but did she avoid answering questions she didn't want to answer? Yes. Did she change subjects to get out of tight spots? Of course. It was only fit, for a future ninja.
"No but is there something you wish to tell me?"
She looked up at Mito with sudden fear, all the while trying to convince herself that there was no possible way for her to know what happened.
I had gotten rid of all evidence, cleaned and scrubbed everything until my arms became numb.
Yes, she was that desperate. If anyone found out, she could kiss her dreams goodbye. There was the option of bribery but she doubted she could best her own parents who were the source of all the money she possessed.
When Mito gets married, she is going to have her money and Hashirama's.
Marrying suddenly doesn't sound so bad...
Ugh, snap out of it! The idea of marriage is why you are having these problems in the first place!
Miya scolded herself, letting out a scoff. "Sister, don't take this the wrong way but I could write a book." she paused, standing up from her seat a little too quickly. She openly grimaced, making a mental note to never do that again. "Actually, a lot of books with the things you don't know about me and they are all things that I intend to carry to my grave. So, no, there is nothing that I wish to tell you."
Unfortunately, her sister wasn't impressed and no less determined than earlier.
"I respect your privacy..."
"Then this conversation is over."
She was positive she couldn't last one more minute without resting. Her body ached for comfort and so far, nobody but her room would be willing to give it to her.
"Miya."
Oh, for the love of all kami known and unknown to me, now she finds the desire to bond?
For the sake of politeness, the rebellious Uzumaki stopped walking, hand no longer trying to open the door, more or less willing to hear what she had to say.
"Whatever is troubling you, I want you to tell me. I want to help you. We are sisters and I'm certain there is nothing that bad."
Easy for you to say. You have long ago made peace with the role the world has given us women. I can't accept that.
Miya sighed. "You can't help, Mito. I'm not even sure if I can help myself but I will be fine. Everything will be fine after today ends."
Or at least she hoped so. Because talk of 'women issues' grossed her out like nothing else, she had never paid much attention when it was explained to them.
Is it wishful thinking to believe I will never bleed again from that place after today?
She tried not to dwell on that.
"You helped me write to Hashirama and I wanted to thank you. I may not be very good at expressing my feelings but he understood, Miya, he really did. With all my fancy words as you put it and while his handwriting might not be the best, his response was delightful to read."
There was so much genuine joy and peace creasing Mito's face that she was left baffled for a moment. It was no secret that she was always serious, always formal, always indifferent, always difficult but now...her sister looked her age. Like a young girl full of hopes and dreams, carrying some affection for a boy.
I helped this...
I did...
Overwhelmed with emotion, she ran, wrapping her arms around her tightly. She couldn't remember the last time they hugged but it felt good, to feel that you have the support of family.
"I'm glad. So glad Mito." There was hope for her sister's future marriage and nothing could have brightened up more this horrible day. If being, acting and doing lady things made her happy, who was Miya to judge?
She could tell she was as taken aback by the embrace as she, even though she was the one to initiate it. She felt Mito caress her hair, returning the hug, no longer hesitant.
"You are usually the cheerful, lively one from the two of us and it scares me to imagine what could have possibly happened to change you so."
As if by command, the words reminded her of her current awful circumstances and although she'd deny it with every fibre of her being later, a few tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I don't want to, Mito. I don't want to and they can't make me."
They won't. Never.
Finding strength within herself, Miya pulled away, wiping her cheeks and looking straight into her eyes that mirrored her own in shade, but never in fierceness.
Someday, maybe. I'm counting on Hashirama for that.
"Not you, nor tou-sama, or kaa-san. Nor anyone from Whirlpools and beyond will shatter my dreams. You will be a good lady Senju one day, I don't doubt that but everyone must stop expecting the same things from me. I'm a lady in title and I plan to fight alongside men one day, you know that, you have heard me before but I'm serious. No flowering, expectations or judgement will stand in my way."
She shouldn't have been left surprised when the only thing Mito got, understood and cared about from her speech was the most dreadful part of it all. "You... Of course, that explains it." taking a moment to compose herself, she sighed, rubbing her temples. "I am not even going to assume you have let anybody know."
She chuckled, without humour whatsoever. "You are kidding, right? I will hide it for as long as I can."
Genuinely curious, Mito questioned. "And when you will no longer succeed?"
Miya's eyes hardened. "I hope I would have managed to prove my worth as a shinobi by then. Otherwise...the alternatives won't be pretty."
Might as well be honest.
"What are those?"
"First option, I'd run away. Second, I'd do some bluffing about marrying the enemy if they force anything upon me and three..."
How far are you willing to go? Madara had asked her one day, during their rare meetings.
"To become a shinobi? To the afterlife and back."
"Hn."
"Don't mock me. I could be a shinobi there with no worries and we could...be friends." She had been hesitant to call them that and she had half a mind to take back her words before she noticed the smirk his lips had formed.
"Baka, we already are. You don't have to die to become my nakama."
"Good, I didn't really want to die. There is much to live for."
"Even if you never join the battlefield?"
She hesitated.
"The other option...you know what I think about the other option."
Madara nodded. "That you'd sooner commit seppuku than become the property of a man."
"You got your answer then."
"Miya."
Shocked beyond belief since the cocky Uchiha had never called her by her name before, she felt frozen to the spot. "What?"
"I agree."
More shock coming her way. Her eyes widened as she spun around to face him, a gush of wind forming in the process.
"Why? The way our system is, punishment for us, pleasure for you..."
Gone was the smirk, the amusement from his face. Madara looked as serious as the day he had warned her of the Sharingan's power.
"I wouldn't take any pleasure in being with an unwilling woman. Or a willing but weak one. The day I marry is the day I find my equal."
"Anyone in mind?"
"Not yet. One day, perhaps. When she is ready."
It was the first time she had ever seriously considered the option of marriage, also the last.
Delusions wouldn't do her any good in the long run.
"Three?" her sister's voice brought her back to the present.
I changed my mind.
"No alternatives. I will succeed."
She had to. If not for herself, then at least to show all girls and women that they are more than what man labelled them as.
…
Miya watched him quietly. He sat beside her under the shade of a tree. Winter finally ended but the wind was still as merciless as ever. Not that she minded, it gave her a kind of strength the sun never could.
Madara was silent and serious which wasn't anything new since he rarely talked unless to make a smart remark or answer her questions. However, today he wasn't even smirking or correcting her amiss battle stances.
He just stood there, seemingly observing her movements but she knew better. His mind was somewhere else and he acted less and less like the boy she met some time ago. It scared her, the way he could detach himself from everything. She'd take his harsh comments and constructive criticism over the troubled frown creasing his forehead any day.
"Why did you stop?"
So, he isn't looking through me.
It stopped amazing her how quickly he took notice of things. The fact that she just stopped practicing didn't escape his keen eyes.
"Because I've been doing it for two hours and you said nothing."
"If I didn't, that means you did them correctly." he explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
She couldn't exactly remember when Madara had decided to train her, she was just glad he did, no matter how infuriating he could be at times, she appreciated his help.
Miya wasn't satisfied with his answer, however.
"No, I'm not accepting that. You always have something to bitch about, a detail I missed, anything I misplaced and could have been done better."
The look he gave her next was a piercing, hateful one that he had most probably used on his enemies but never on her.
"I gave you a compliment, you are supposed to take it, Uzumaki."
"Not if it isn't truthful. I tripped earlier and my hand hit the tree bark in the wrong manner, not like you showed me..." she retorted, meeting his eyes defiantly.
"You know what your mistakes were." he nodded, looking pleased. "Then you will do fine from now on without my guidance."
It suddenly struck her why he had been acting the way he was. To her, his words sounded like a goodbye and not even a remorseful one.
How can words...hurt so much?
She couldn't comprehend what was wrong, what was happening.
"Do you have some illness Madara?" it surprised her how calm her voice sounded.
"No." came the immediate answer.
It was the catalyst of her emotions going all over the place. She was positively livid by his attitude.
"Then why?! Was it something I did? Do you believe I'm not fit for war like the rest of them? TALK WITH ME HONESTLY DAMN YOU!"
His calmness bothered her immensely. He took her yelling with the same grace he fought with but right now she couldn't find it in herself to appreciate these traits.
"You know why."
Do I?
Sadly, Miya knew exactly what the problem was but she hoped it wasn't the obvious. Anything else could easily be fixed.
The war between clans to be stopped by two children...the idea was laughable at best.
"It never stopped you before."
She understood but that didn't mean she liked the idea of never seeing him again.
"I was foolish to do so." he dismissed her retort as quickly as he shot kunai.
Miya shook her head, approaching him besides the tree. "No. You did better, wiser than all of the old Uchiha hags combined." she insisted.
Madara smirked, reducing her to silence. "Old and hag are synonyms. What are they teaching you?"
She felt herself blushing but that didn't stop her from defending her pride. "My teachers are the best and my sister is living proof of that. I'm the black sheep."
And it was alright. Being the odd one wasn't so bad anyways. It made her feel special...sometimes.
"They are happy with the way things are and the ones who aren't lack the courage to stand up for change. Baka, they are the embarrassment, not you."
The redhead was taken aback by the fondness in his voice and his eyes were softer too, less cold but no less destructive, she knew.
It almost made her forgive him.
Almost.
"I want you to keep visiting."
When he didn't grace her with a response, Miya persisted, even strongly than before. "I am serious. It's courtesy to respect a lady's wish."
Madara scoffed, amused by the means she was using to convince him of something that was unfortunately set in stone. "Tch, I thought you were against using your..."
She didn't let him finish, placing a finger on top of his lips, completely unfazed. "A true shinobi takes advantage of anything convenient. My status just happens to be one of those things." she paused, smiling slightly. "You taught me well."
The lack of distance between them had never been as obvious until that moment but the timing wasn't right and nothing was ever going to be easy for people like them, branded as difficult beings since birth.
He took her hand away from his mouth, only to kiss her knuckles in the next second, effectively succeeding to get back at her for earlier for surprising him. "Perhaps too well."
Miya remained silent, letting him think it through. One had to know when to take a step back and wait.
"I made my decision."
And it's not the one I want.
She turned her back to him, as if it'd make this easier.
"Years from now, when we will meet on the battlefield, you will regret it."
"I look forward to it."
A/N: I haven't updated in some time and for that I'm sorry. My only excuse is the lack of inspiration and my insecurities but anyways, here is another one! I hope you liked it. Also, after this chapter there will be a time skip, as I'm sure you probably have already guessed. Things are going to get interesting.
Cloudedstargazer: Thank you for the support! And omg, I love Arya and I'm not going to lie, she inspired me to create Miya, that's true. Kuddos for the observation!