A comprehensive history of Smurfkind

It is very likely that the history of Smurfkind can be categorized into three different major eras. The first major era predates the discovery of the long life gem and was not recorded into any texts of any kind leaving everything up to perspective of Smurfologists that study the fossil record. The second era is where all of the Smurfs created by Peyo now exist in being the earliest ancestors of Smurfs that enjoyed an extended lifespan by the long life gem. The third era would be new world Smurfs that would follow Baby Smurf's generation all the way to present day.

The Dawn of Smurf (252 million years ago – 2 million years ago)

Sometime during the Triassic period a rare cosmic event occurred in the cosmos known as the Peyoite Flash. A phenomenon that humans have no knowledge of nor are aware of its existence, and one that may never occur again. A bright flash of blue light danced across the stars reflecting off the planet's moon creating the Earth's first Blue Moon. The bizarre change in energy affected the Earth in a way that one day would be recognized and accepted as magic. During the night of the first Blue Moon the energy caused by the Peyoite Beams as they were called brought to life the very first Smurfs. The Peyoite beams served as a catalyst when they reflected off an extremely rare and precious resource known as Smurfite, an element not known to mankind to this day. Smurfite contains natural Smurf essence which when in contact with the magic of the Peyoite Beams gave life to the first Smurfs. These Smurfs emerged from wherever the beams touched the Earth and were already adults with fully developed brains. The first Smurfs were immortal and would not age, or die no matter how they were killed yet they could still experience illnesses such as food poisoning as well as common illnesses of the time period and still needed to fulfill basic needs in order to keep up their strength and not experience discomfort or pain. As these Smurfs explored Pangea and learned how to survive the first true generation of mortal Smurfs would be delivered to them as helpless babies, and life got extremely difficult and challenging for the first Smurfs as they tried to raise their descendants to be able to survive in the age of the dinosaurs.

Life in the Triassic period for a Smurf was unforgiving, short, and riddled with pain and suffering. The average life expectancy of a Smurf during this time was around eight or nine years old. Since parental instincts in male Smurfs does not exist many of the mortal ancestors of modern day Smurfs were taken away by their guardian bird that delivered them as their male troop members were far too busy avoiding the dangers of the era to take care of a lump of crying blue flesh that required food to keep alive. Smurfs stuck to groups of mainly five, and since encountering other Smurfs was a literal impossibility the only Smurfs you'd ever know were the ones you were born and grew up with unless the conscious decision to take on a baby was made. Your saving grace as a baby Smurf in this time period would be your charisma as the concept of being "Smurfy" was non-existent. If you were born a Smurfette to a troop of male Smurfs you would be ignored due to the fact you resemble nobody in the troop closely enough to invoke even the slightest benevolent bone in your adult troop member's body. Whereas due to the maternal instincts of a Smurfette you could be either gender and be accepted simply because you're small, insignificant, and cute. The moment a Smurf in this time period could take their first steps they were considered an adult and were expected to live, think, behave, and survive like one meaning Smurflinghood as we recognize it didn't exist.

Due to their natural blue skin Smurfs were easy prey for predators of the time period meaning many of if not your entire troop can and more than likely will be eaten at some point either alive or dead. This was common knowledge to any Smurf older than three. To avoid being eaten alive Smurfs would frequent patches of poisonous fungus to ward off predators. Smurfs in this time period would rub themselves against the poisonous fungus to make themselves poisonous. This was a defense mechanism that stemmed from the philosophy of "If you eat me you die, and the others can escape" meaning early Smurfs were closely affiliated with mushrooms which is an affiliation that would be deep rooted into their culture for millions of years to come.

Early Smurfs were strictly woodland creatures. Leaving the comfort of the jungle as it more or less could be considered resulted in near instant death. Smurfs of the time period did not speak, did not read or write, or enjoy any leisure activities at all whatsoever. They were nomadic and would travel aimlessly across Pangea just surviving. If your heart was beating you were living the best life you could, and everyone thought you were cool. Their language was simple hand gestures. They were certainly capable of producing sound with their throats, but to do so meant you were going to die. Friendships and brotherhood was tightly woven by the shared need to survive and birth affiliation. Smurfs did not mourn the loss of fellow troop members and would leave their dead unburied where they fell and move to a completely new location so as to prevent it happening again as though the death of one of their own was an ill omen.

Societal structure of the time period was as follows. The Great Smurfs, or the immortal Smurfs born from the cosmic event were seen as all knowing and their decisions were the dogma by which the rest of the troop lived. The oldest a Smurf ever became in this time period was fifteen. If you looked like an adult that resembled The Great Smurf you were seen as a celebrity among the troop, and rightfully so as you were a master of the prehistoric world, and intellectually a genius on a global scale. The next would be the Smurflings which made up the vast majority of all Smurfs. At the bottom of the totem pole were babies. Babies were a life threatening risk not a blessing and were often seen as a bad omen that warranted a complete change in location. Names did not exist, period. If you were born a Smurf in this time period you will die without a name, and nobody will remember you as anything other than wasted effort, food, and trust.

Early Smurfs were defenseless in every way possible. The concept of taping into one's Smurf essence was unknown separating ancestral Smurfs from a powerful birthright that could have greatly improved their way of life. Instead the concept of survival was running, climbing, and even sometimes swimming around naked dodging peril after peril just to live to see the next day. In order to survive working alongside the environment to aid you in survival was an interesting tactic. Simply get your pursuer to chase you into a situation that could naturally end their life without your direct influence, and you just might make it out alive. The concept of using tar pits to put an end to their enemies was frequent making for intriguing fossils to be discovered later by humans.

Throughout the age of the dinosaurs and well into the Ice age Smurfs would live this way until the Earth became a safer place to exist as a Smurf. Two million years ago the Smurfs would enter the Paleolithic Age far before humans as their ability to survive and take care of each other improved. Not long after the Paleolithic Age began The Great Smurfs would mysteriously disappear from history leaving Smurfkind to its own devices for the rest of eternity. It is widely believed among tribesmurfs that their founder the fruit loving Tropical Smurf was born from Smurfite, and that he will one day send a savior from a foreign land in an act of divine intervention to unite the tropical Smurfs as one single tribe.