Track 17: 24-Hour Cinderella - Goro Majima
"Eyes!" Pentious shouted, whipping a flashbang grenade into the air as the Nutz closed in. He slapped his hood closed as Adam, Angel Dust and Husk threw an arm up just as the grenade detonated with a blinding flash and deafening bang.
The gangsters, controlled as they were, didn't defend themselves and so reeled away with yelps of pain and surprise, vainly trying to cover their faces.
As one, the four invaders whipped out a pair of handguns (two pairs for Angel) and cut them down with a fusillade of laser bolts, leaving the lobby full of smoking, groaning Sinners. "Wounds take longer to heal from than respawning, right?" Adam asked as they stepped over the bodies.
"Yeah, though it's not gonna matter unless we're here for more than a day," Angel replied, kicking a Sinner over and shooting them in the shoulder.
Husk shot out the cameras as they made their way to the elevators, the lights already showing that they were on the way down and no doubt packed with salty Nutz. The four Few hid behind a wall, Adam peeking out around the corner as the doors slammed open and Sinners came pouring out. "They're in the lobby, get 'em!" He threw his voice among the crowd and grinned as they went running to the lobby. "And that's what mindless peons getcha!" He chuckled, tossing mines into the ceilings of three elevator cars before they piled into the fourth, the camera already sparking.
Pentious nodded. "Remember our goal, gentlemen? Allow me to repeat-"
"-We remember," Husk cut in. Three distant booms shook the building slightly.
"-Century Plaza has twenty-five floors, with the Device being at the very top and four relays every five floors to boost the signal strength," the inventor continued heedlessly, "Our goal is to reach the second relay on floor ten, disable it then work our way upwards."
"You think we'll get that far?" Angel Dust asked, nervously fingering a laser pistol, "Ya don't think they'll cut the cables?"
"If they're as smart as they seem, they'll let us get halfway up before stopping the elevators," Adam explained, "That way they can pincer us from every direction. Our only response to that would be jumping out a window, which I don't wanna do. We'll figure out what to do next after we hit the relay."
The camera sparked and smoked, dying completely with a whine. "…Think that worked?" Angel smirked as Husk reached up and started cutting through the ceiling with one of his cards spinning like a buzzsaw.
"Oh definitely, Dee will probably do exactly that and then pretend it was his master plan all along," Pentious hissed, eyes narrowed. "Er, Sir Adam, why are we wearing these again?" He gestured at the black suits and ties.
Adam simply chuckled, reaching out to catch a section of the ceiling as it fell. "You wouldn't get it," he said, lacing his fingers to help Husk step up and climb on top of the elevator, followed by the other two and jumping up himself. "Alright boys, time to really rock the house! I'll draw as much attention as I can, you guys are gonna head straight for relay number three! I just want to say good luck, we're all counting on you."
"That's what we should be saying," the bartender replied, "You sure you can handle that many Nutz at once?"
They all glanced at Angel Dust, who crossed his arms. "Come on guys," he snickered, "That one's too easy…like your mom."
Adam groaned under his breath. "You were supposed to say, 'surely you can't be serious.'"
"…Surely you can't be serious?" Pentious said with a weak shrug.
"I am serious, and don't call me 'Shirley,'" the First Man replied, shaking his head at their confused looks, "Fuckin' A, we need to have a movie marathon at some point, this is just sad." The elevator began to slow, the brakes groaning and spitting sparks. "Alright, get ready to climb."
The three sinners nodded as Adam withdrew a teargas grenade from his jacket and pulled the pin, tossing it into the elevator just as it stopped and locked in place.
Angel Dust, Husk and Pentious began to climb the cables while the First Man drew his laser pistols again, the sound of coughing echoing up to him. Adam cracked his neck and rolled into the hole, hanging upside down by his knees and opened fire at Sinners experiencing the wonders of teargas.
Flipping down, he grabbed the hissing grenade and sucked in a lungful of the blinding gas. Stepping into the hallway, he flapped his invisible wings to spread it further, casually gunning them down as they clawed at their eyes. With a chuckle he threw himself into a power slide, one arm across his chest and the other behind his head as he spun, unloading both barrels down the converging hallways.
Adam hopped onto his feet, the laser pistols Pentious had provided smoking and slowly melting into slag. I'll have to show that snakey boi how to maximize efficiency and power draw, he thought, slipping them down his sleeves as he walked down a hall. Mm, my grouping's good, Lute'll be proud when I brag about this tonight.
He turned the corner and came face-to-face with at least thirty Sinners all packed into a hallway, wielding various melee weapons. At the far end was a thick metal door that protected the second relay, and at the front of the group was a muscular Sinner who somewhat resembled a Pangolin.
"Dee's Nutz!" The Sinner shouted and charged, a gold and black baseball bat held high.
Adam grinned and exhaled two lungfuls of teargas straight into their face, almost like a dragon. He lunged forward, burying his knuckles in their sternum and sent them flying back, bowling over the Sinners behind them. Then he caught the bat before it could hit the ground and went to work.
The bat flicked out like a sword, cracking skulls and breaking bones, the characteristic cheerful ping! of metal meeting flesh joining with the snapping of limbs and screams of pain, echoing off of the walls in a chorus of chaos.
Adam deflected a stab from a knife, jabbing the tip of the bat into the Sinner's stomach before flipping his weapon around, hooking the handle around the back of their neck and yanking them into his knee face-first, letting them reel back in a spray of blood. Then he pulled them in again and turned, throwing them into a wall and completing the spin with a swing of the bat that embedded their face into the plaster.
Metal sang as it cut through the air. Ping! A broken arm. Ping! A snapped leg. Ping! Dislocated mandible. Ping! Pain. Ping! Pain.
A sword-wielding Sinner pushed off from the wall and lunged at Adam in a spinning slash, the First Man titling away as the blade whistled by his nose. His arm shot up, catching the Sinner by the elbow as he twisted, halfway folding them over and kicking the sword from their grip, jamming the end of the bat into their stomach and flicking his wrist, the head of the bat impacting between their legs. As the Sinner fell to their knees, he fixed his grip on the bat, pulled his arm back and swung for the fences.
Their upper torso punched through the ceiling with a crunch, leaving a dangling pair of legs.
Adam nimbly spun the bat between his fingers, passing it hand to hand and front to back like a pair of nunchucks, steadily marching forward into the hall of Sinners, battering them aside with a storm of whirling metal. His eye found the first Pangolin-like Sinner getting back to their feet and shoved those in front of him away, tossing the bat into the air and kicking it as it fell back down, sending the weapon spinning through the air to impact the Sinner in the face. They fell back against the metal door and slumped with a gurgle.
The door swung open, revealing a Sinner crouched in the threshold with a rocket launcher on their shoulder. "Time for Dee's Nutz to bust all over you!" They screamed and pulled the trigger.
The rocket raced down the hallway and slammed into Adam's chest with a thunderous clap and a cloud of smoke.
The Sinner giggled shrilly. "I got 'em! Didja see that, Dee?! I got them!" He called to a camera mounted above the relay.
Adam stepped out of the smoke, idly waving it away from his face, his suit unruffled except for a patch of glowing metal stuck to his tie. He peeled it away with a fingernail and blew on it, then flicked it at the Sinner.
The metal disc punched into and out of their head with a spray of blood and lodged into the wall.
Looking down at the bodies and pieces around him, the First Man shrugged and stepped over them, laughing as he looked into the relay room and found even more. "Dumbass cooked his buddies with the backblast!" He chuckled, flicking a pistol up into his hand and shooting the camera out.
The relay looked like any old fuse box fixed to the wall with the exceptions of various signs and graffiti plastered around it, half of which was praise for Dee and the rest warnings to not touch the box under the threat of a very painful death.
Adam chuckled to himself, rubbing his hands together. "Oh, I'm gonna touch it," he muttered gleefully and ripped the cover off, "I'm gonna touch it real good."
"-they're approaching the second relay! Stop them or by every damned soul I own, slow them down!" Dee shouted over the intercom, his voice echoing through the closed doors of the elevator shaft along with the thundering of feet.
"Man, I really hope Adam can actually handle that many guys at once," Husk muttered.
The trio waited until the noise had faded before Angel Dust carefully hopped over to the doors, digging all four sets of fingers into the seam and straining to pull it open. A pair of playing cards floated over and slipped into the crack, adding just enough oomph that the spider sinner could heave the doors halfway open. Husk and Pentious hopped over and threesome hurried towards the third relay.
"This is so fuckin' cool, it's like we're spies," Angel whispered, peeking around a corner before waving the other two forward. "Shit, now I'm thinking of movies we can watch when we get back. Gotta do some James Bond."
"Shh," Pentious hissed, "Spies are supposed to be quiet. Come on, the relay should be just around…" He turned a corner and found at least ten Sinners guarding the metal door at the end. "…Ah."
The threesome aimed down the hallway and let loose with their laser pistols, cutting down the Nutz with relative ease. Angel hissed and dropped one of his guns, shaking out his hand as it melted on the floor. "Christ, Pentious! I thought you knew how to build lasers!"
"I do, but I was on a time crunch!" The inventor replied, slithering over the bodies, "It was either everyone had a couple or I did! Okay, now-" They'd arrived at the door…which swung open to show a Sinner kneeling in the threshold, an assault rifle tucked into a shoulder.
"Have a taste of Dee's Nutz!" They shouted, and pulled the trigger.
"Look out!" Husk called, flicking a card forward, his mind only on protecting them.
Instead of merely passing the bullets to cut down the Nut, the card turned flat and expanded in front of them, the rounds bouncing off. "What the?!" Pentious patted himself down and sighed in relief at not having extra holes in him, shooting the bartender a surprised and grateful look. "Husk, I wasn't aware you could do that! Thank you, my dear friend!"
"I didn't know that either," Husk muttered, flicking a pair of cards over the top of the large one, mentally flinging them into the relay room. There was a short scream of pain and the firing stopped. "I think I got 'em."
Peeking around the shield, they found the room now with a pair of dead Sinners lying on the ground. "Yup, you got 'em," Angel nodded, cautiously checking the room, "Ya know, I've been meaning to ask, Husker, but where the fuck did you get those cards? Didja make them yourself or what?"
Pentious popped open the relay and started digging around inside. "I don't know where they came from, actually," the bartender answered, deftly shuffling the cards back into his deck, "When I woke up in Hell the first time, they were in my hand."
"Smarter than you look, Pentious," Dee spoke over a speaker, making them look up at the camera mounted on the wall, "Not that that's hard or anything-"
"Fuck off, no one insults Pentious but us!" Angel gave the camera the finger.
"-But fine, whatever. I guess it's been too long since something interesting happened around here. I'll be waiting for you, Pentious. I mean, naturally everyone who's still up here is waiting, too, but maybe with some competent minions you might actually make it." The speaker fuzzed out as the inventor tore a section out of the relay and hooked in a replacement from his jacket.
Music began to play instead. The trio glanced at each other incredulously. "…This is seriously what Adam picked?" Husk asked slowly.
"I like it!" Angel Dust bobbed his head as they stepped out of the relay room and right into a bunch of reinforcing Nutz…except that with the signal hijacked by the song, instead of trying to kill the three of them, they were all dancing. Looking extremely confused and hungover, but still dancing enthusiastically. "Nevermind fightin' this guy, I wanna watch this instead!"
Pentious grabbed the spider sinner by the collar. "Come on, we don't have much time to figure out how we're going to ascend the last ten floors without dying!"
"Actually, I think I have an idea," Husk chimed in, leading them back towards the elevator. There he tossed out a card and focused, the card expanding again into a platform that hovered in the shaft. "I've never done this before, so if we all fall to our deaths it's not my fault."
"I think it kinda would be," Angel muttered, tentatively stepping onto the floating card, "Might be a bit of a tight squeeze…"
Pentious carefully slithered on, followed by Husk, the three of them hugging each other. "Ladies and gentlemen, keep your arms and legs inside the card at all times, because I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing," Husk chuckled anxiously, the card steadily rising through the elevator shaft.
"You got this Husker, you got this," the spider sinner gulped, "Really wishing I had some kinda spider thing besides extra arms, they'd be real handy right about now…"
"Aha, good pun, Angel," Pentious glanced upwards, "Ah, we're almost there!"
"Wha-how?" Husk blinked, looking up, "We've only gone up five floors!"
"It's one of those fancy fuckers where the top five floors are basically one huge penthouse!" Angel said, clutching the snake sinner as the card wobbled dangerously, "Focus, Husk!"
"Sorry!" As they arrived at the top of the shaft, Angel Dust and Pentious heaved at the doors with desperate strength and pulled them open, letting the bartender stumble to the ground as his card shrank and flew back into his deck. "A-alright, I didn't know that would take so much outta me…"
Angel opened his mouth but paused as he heard a subtle, mechanical whirr. "Look out!" He tackled Husk and Pentious out of the way just as a hail of bullets ripped through the air. "Gah! My fuckin' leg!"
The sinners pressed themselves to the wall, the bartender carefully peeking around the corner before pulling back. "Shit, they've got a bunch of guns and cover, we're stuck!" Husk cursed.
"Angel, are you alright?" Pentious worried, checking the spider sinner over.
"Yah, it just clipped my leg," Angel replied through grit teeth, holding out his leg to show a ragged wound on his calf, "I've had worse. You'll see what I mean if we get cornered here! This would be fuckin' great time for Adam to show up!"
Ministar has sent Dickmaster a chat request.
Dickmaster: Hello? What's up?
Ministar: So, Adam, when you, Angel, Husk and Pentious went walking out of the hotel earlier dressed like you were going to a funeral and I asked what you were doing and you just said 'boys night' I thought that meant you were gonna go see a movie or hit up a bar…
DM: …And?
MS: I didn't think you were gonna raid a building! What the fuck, Adam?!
DM: …It's Boys Night. You wouldn't get it.
MS: What?!
DM: Pentious asked us for a favor. It's a matter of manly pride and dignity. Speaking of, how'd you know what I'm fuckin' doing? You spying on me?
MS: No! You're on the news! Well, not the news, 'Turf War Daily' but same thing. And Pentious asked you for help? Why didn't you come to me? And how are you climbing a building?
Adam looked over his shoulder and spotted a Vox-branded drone hovering a bit away from him, the light on the camera blinking. He gave it a casual wave and continued climbing up the side of Century Plaza. Fun as fighting was, there was only so much chaff a man could cut through before he got bored.
DM: Why would I come to you? This is Pentious' deal…unless. Are you mad we didn't invite you for some Consequence-Free Violence?
MS: N-no! I mean, maybe…Er, I'm just…isn't this his big moment where he reveals his backstory and opens up? Shouldn't I be there, too?
DM: I mean, probably, but we're kinda in the middle of something so the backstory's probably gonna come later. Speaking of, gotta go.
Peering in through a window on the 20th floor, Adam could see that a bunch of Nutz had grouped up to block the hallway leading to the penthouse with furniture and tables and whatnot, shooting through the gaps to keep Angel, Husk and Pentious suppressed. Adam dug his nail into the window, the glass giving away like it was made of spun sugar, and carved a large heart shape. Licking his finger, he pressed it to the glass and pulled away, the heart-shaped piece falling away from the building.
A Sinner who had been standing in front of the window, shouting directions at the others (being lazy) slowly looked over his shoulder at the sudden wind whipping at his back. Adam grinned, eye patch digging into his cheek. "Going down?" he asked politely, snagging the Sinner by the lapels and hurling him out of the window. "That's called 'freeballin'!'" Adam shouted with a laugh as the screaming Sinner fell to his death.
Swinging himself inside the building, he found an assault rifle with an underbarrel grenade launcher on the floor where the Sinner had dropped it. Kicking it up into his arms, Adam giggled as stroked the barrel like a cat. "Too bad there's only one grenade, if only because someone was carrying others when they got thrown out of a window…like a bitch." He took aim at the barricade, weapon slung dangerously low in his hands. "Say hello to my li'l friend!"
The barricade exploded, sending Sinners and furniture scattering, smoking and in pieces.
Adam whooped and tossed the rifle aside, ignoring it firing off a burst into a wall. "Yoohoo, Penchy, Angie, Husky! Y'all still alive and shit?" He strutted around a corner and found the three sinners. Husk was holding Angel Dust's arms while Pentious had a wad of gum in hand, holding it over the wound in the spider's leg. They all froze as Adam looked down at them, hands on his hips. "…You really gonna try and close a bullet graze with gum? What'd you do if he'd been shot in the head, CPR?"
Pentious cleared his throat and tossed the gum over his shoulder. "Ahem. Right on time, Sir A-Shimano! Come, we must make haste! It is only a matter of time before the newly-freed Nutz will attempt to make a play for the Turnabout Device themselves! Or…burn down the building in a riotous frenzy. Or a defiant expression of impotent rage. Or because the flames are pretty…most likely all of the above."
"I'll be good to go in a little bit, but I'm gonna be dead weight for a while," Angel grunted, pushing himself up with the wall, swaying a bit before Husk let him lean on him. "I'd say something heroic 'n shit like, 'leave me behind I'll only slow you down' but you better not fuckin' leave me here I swear to christ."
"Mou~, no need to worry your fluffy li'l head! No man gets left behind on my watch!" Adam cooed aggressively, ruffling Angel's hair, "Don'tcha worry even a bit!" He chuckled darkly and withdrew a knife from his sleeve, discarding the sheath to reveal a long, single-edged blade. "I'll handle this myself…"
He strode up the spiraling stairs that led to the next floor, single eye glinting. At the top and packed into the corridor, were even more Nutz.
"Try'n give me a couple feet of space," Adam advised the three with a sharp grin, "Or as I like to call it…the Splash Zone!" He threw his head back and laughed shrilly. "NYEHAHAHAHA!" And then he dove in.
Angel Dust, Husk and Pentious watched, faces pale (where applicable) as the First Man waded into the crowd of Sinners. Like a screaming, blood-soaked dance, deft slashes of the knife mixed with brutal, bone-snapping kicks, balletic twirls joined with frenzied lunges. It was much like setting a coked-up Doberman on a bunch of particularly fat gerbils, and they couldn't look away.
"…You know, seeing Adam like this, it kinda makes me question his sanity," Husk said quietly as they stepped over the bodies of Sinners, some groaning and others not, "But then I remember how long he's been alive and realize he probably went nuts a long time ago."
"Dee's…Nutz…" Someone groaned in pain.
"Yeah, but it's the good kinda nuts, complicated, with wrinkles and a great ass," Angel pointed out, stretching his leg with a groan, "I don't actually know where I was going with that metaphor, but he's on our side and that's good for us."
"Indeed, we would've never made it this far without him or, God forbid, Alastor's help," Pentious shuddered as they continued to climb the floors, "Although I must confess, I feel as if I must repay Sir Adam somehow. I owe him a great deal."
"Same." The other two replied, nearly bumping into Adam's back as they entered another floor.
The room was empty with the exception of a single Sinner, dressed in a suit and sunglasses, with blonde hair slicked back. He was staring at them, face set in a blank expression. "If you're looking for mine bossman," he said in a German accent, stoically pointing a finger upwards, "He's on the roof."
The foursome gave him a look and started walking by him. The Sinner made no move to stop them, until he suddenly whipped out a pair of pistols and started blasting. Husk, card already in hand, threw it out and expanded it to shield them from the bullets. "You guys keep going, I can handle this guy!" He called, flicking more cards around his shield, the suited Sinner nimbly diving away all while firing.
"Fuck no!" Angel exclaimed, pulling a pair of batons from his suit, giving them a spin as he backed up Husk, "First of all, I ain't leavin' you by yourself here! Second, I recognize this fuck, he works for Vox, and I got unresolved issues with the Vees."
Adam and Pentious glanced at each other and shrugged. "Alright!" The First Man said, pumping a fist, "Have fun you two! C'mon Penchy, the climactic showdown awaits!"
"Later, gentlemen!" The inventor waved and followed Adam up the final flight of stairs, bursting through the door to the rooftop.
There, two Sinners were waiting for them. Both were fairly handsome and even mostly human-looking, one with slicked-back black hair and a goatee and the other with a small soul patch, the first wearing a typical suit like Adam and Pentious, and the other with off-white pants and jacket and a salmon-colored silk shirt. The Turnabout Device sat behind them, the screens flickering ominously as four Vox-branded drones circled the rooftop, shining spotlights down on them.
"So, it's come to this, Pentious," the goateed Sinner shook his head and clucked his tongue, "We were friends, once."
"Indeed we were…not!" Pentious shot back, "I was using you for your money, and you cheated me out of it, Dee!"
"You were gonna use mind control on me, you bitch!" Dee retorted, "You're just mad I got the jump on you! Sucks to suck, doesn't it?!"
"Fuck you! You don't have any moral high ground here, you've been using mind control via my device on people for months!" The inventor snapped.
"No one has any 'moral high ground' here, we're in Hell!" The gang leader pointed out, "Why would you expect me to pay you?! Again, seriously, why? I thought it was pretty obvious I was going to cheat you!"
"Because! This may indeed be Hell, but that doesn't mean we can't have some standards and operate on some level of respect, Dee!" Pentious replied, narrowing his eyes dangerously, "That's why you'll always be a mid-level gangster instead of anyone important."
"Woo! You tell 'em, Penchy-chan!" Adam whooped.
Dee cleared his throat and straightened his tie. "And who might you be, hm? A hired gun? Whatever Pentious has promised you, I can-"
"-Nuh-uh," the one-eyed man wagged a finger playfully, "You ain't got nothing to offer me, D-Bag."
Pentious nodded firmly. "That's right! This is Shimano, my most competent minion and…a dear friend," Adam winked at him, "This is a matter of pride and dignity, Dee! There's no other end to this night besides handing you the ass-whooping you so righteously deserve!"
"If it's a fight you're looking for, then I will take you on," the second Sinner spoke up in a deep, resonant voice, stoic expression shifting into a glare, "I won't let you lay a finger on Dee."
"Alright, buddy, you and me," Adam smirked as he stepped away from Pentious, the Sinner mirroring his movements, "I've been looking forward to a good fight all night, and I ain't gonna steal Penchy's thunder by fighting his bad guy, so you'll do just fine."
"Wait, what?!" The inventor waved his arms, "Sir-Shimano, I thought we'd fight them at the same time!"
"Nah Penchy, Dee's your bad guy you gotta fight by yourself," Adam replied, cracking his knuckles, "I mean, no shit I'm gonna wreck this guy and obviously I'll jump in if you need it, but it's a matter of dignity and pride, dude. And c'mon, don't you wanna punch his face in, even a little bit?"
Pentious glanced at Dee, who was watching the conversation with scowl. "I mean…obviously, but I'm an inventor, not a fighter!"
"We prepped for this, Penchy! Now…" Adam cracked his neck and faced the Sinner with a grin, "You got an intro you wanna do?"
The Sinner nodded stoically. "My name is Kyrie Kazma, the Head at the Shaft of Dee's Nutz, though some call me…" He reached up with his right hand and grabbed the left shoulder of his jacket, pulling away both of his tops without ripping either and tossing them away, revealing his muscular form and the large, stylized lizard tattoo on his back, "The Frilled Lizard of Dougie!"
"Alrighty them, Kyrie-chan, I am- wait, wait," Adam paused for a second and mentally rolled back, "…Dougie? Who's Dougie?"
Kazma nodded at Dee, who slapped a hand against his face.
"Wait, your name's Dougie?" The First Man chuckled, "An Overlord named 'Dougie!' Shit, I see why you go by Dee! I'm surprised you haven't changed it!"
"Kiss my ass! I'm gonna get to the top to the point that my name doesn't matter, just like that one guy Jimmy from the Gluttony ring-"
"Hey!" Adam snarled, jabbing a finger at Dee, "That's 'THE ALMIGHTY Jimmy' to you! Put some respect on his name!"
"…Uh, excuse me?" Kazma cut in, "We were going to fight?"
"Right, right," Adam cleared his throat, putting his hand on his shoulder and, in one smooth motion stripping the suit, shirt and tie from his torso, revealing his whip-cord physique and the tattoo of a Shrike on his back, "I forgot what I was gonna say, but who fuckin' cares! Time for you to DIE!"
They charged at each other with a yell, and the fight was on.
"…How'd they do that?" Pentious asked aloud, scratching his head as the two shirtless men started punching each other. "They just…pulled their shirts off somehow, I didn't even see any magic-" He glanced at Dee, only to find the Sinner also shirtless and squaring up, "-what the- how did you do that?! Is there some kind of ritual with fights on top of buildings that require shirts being thrown off?!"
"Maybe," Dougie grunted, "I've been wanting to beat you down for a long time, Pentious. Time to make my dream come true." He blinked. "…You gonna take your shirt off or what?"
"Wha-you-no!" Pentious hugged himself, "It's windy up here and I'm a snake! I'm not falling for that, you tricky bastard!"
"You've disrespected me for the last time!" Dee roared and leapt at Pentious, who shrieked and dodged.
Adam traded punches with Kazma, the Sinner wincing slightly and shaking his head. "You're strong," he muttered, "Why do you serve that weakling? You could be an Overlord yourself."
Adam grinned. "Speak for yourself, Kyrie-chan! I can tell you're stronger than Dougie, so why aren't you the Head of Dee's Nutz?" He darted in low, feinting a jab at Kazma's ribs before snapping a hook into his cheek.
"Because…" The Sinner breathed deep, eyes hard and focused, "I don't want to."
"…That's it?" The First Man asked.
"Yes." They clashed, muscle straining against muscle until Kazma threw his head forward, headbutting Adam on the nose.
Adam stumbled back and ducked a follow-up punch, dropping to the ground and sweeping the Sinner's feet out from under him, planting his hands on the roof and nimbly swinging his legs up, driving his knee down into Kazma's sternum and rolling off. Kazma slapped his hands on the ground and pushed off, racing towards Adam with a shout and threw himself at the one-eyed man. Adam tilted his head, the thunderous headbutt that would've cracked against his skull instead landing on his collar.
Adam heaved Kazma over his head and threw himself back, slamming the Sinner into the ground and lunged into a slide, kicking the Sinner as he bounced.
The two got to their feet, Kazma a little slower than Adam, and squared off again. They clashed again, and it had become apparent that Adam was just too fast; each punch was deflected and countered, each kick blocked and returned, the Sinner's face gathering cuts and bruises as more blows landed. Kazma reached a hand behind his back and drew a knife from one of his back pockets, flicking the blade out and slashing at Adam.
Adam skipped back, the blade barely missing his chest. "Yo, what the fuck, dude?! We're fighting hand-to-hand and you pull a knife on me?"
"You're simply too fast for me, I need to even the odds somehow," the Sinner replied without an ounce of shame, spinning the knife between his fingers, "Besides, I'll do anything to ensure I never lose! This is the oath I swore…as an unrepentant criminal!"
Adam sighed, wearing a disappointed look. "I can appreciate the honesty, at least." Kazma lunged at him and he jumped and spun tightly, lashing out with his foot and kicking the knife out the Sinner's hand and off of the roof, "Guess I should get serious, too." He let his head hang, visible eye closing.
Kazma looked at his now-empty hand. "…Ah." He lunged forward, fist drawn and-
-he felt something slam into his ribs and then he was on his back.
Adam smirked grimly, cracking his knuckles as the Sinner shuffled back to his feet and charged again. "I'm not gonna sugarcoat it," he said, calmly waiting as the Sinner attacked again, clenched fist only inches away from his face…then he dipped low and rocketed a punch into Kazma's chest, sending the Sinner flying back, "This won't end well for you."
Adam darted in, fists flying; a feinted jab became a hook to the ear, an uppercut aimed at the ribs became a punch to the jaw followed by a blow to the stomach and a rabbit-punch to the nose that left Kazma reeling, and the First Man threw a kick at his leg that then shifted to crash against his head.
Despite the abuse, the Sinner was still standing, albeit barely. He stumbled towards Adam, throwing a sloppy swing.
Adam dipped and punched him in the sternum, hard enough to lift the Sinner's feet an inch off of the roof; two more punches crashed into his floating ribs, then the First Man slammed his fists to both sides of Kazma's skull, knuckles grinding against flesh before he jumped back, driving the Sinner's face into his knee.
The Frilled Lizard of Dougie hit the ground, unconscious.
Adam stood up straight and stretched. "Well, it was fun while it lasted," he said, brushing himself off as he turned to watch Pentious' fight…only to nearly run into Angel Dust and Husk. "Oh. When did you guys get here?"
"About five minutes ago," Husk answered, shuffling his cards, "That guy wasn't all that impressive, turns out. He ran out of ammo pretty quick, and I got him the knees with my cards-"
"-then I beat his face in!" Angel cheered, "Felt good, too! And then we threw him out a window-ah, Shimano…"
"I know," Adam replied as Kazma got back to his feet and charged at the First Man's back.
Adam ducked, turned and punched the Sinner in the stomach so hard he flew back…and back, until he went over the edge of the building and fell out of sight.
"…Huh, I was kinda expecting a scream of some sort." Adam shrugged, "Well, at least he wasn't a quitter." He clapped his hands together and cupped them around his mouth. "How's it going, Penchy?!"
"Help me you rat bastards!"
Dougie panted, sweat on his skin. "Stop running, you little shit!" He snarled, lunging at Pentious who slipped away with a panicked shout, narrowly avoiding the swinging fists aimed at his head.
"No!" The inventor dodged, ducked, dipped, dove and dodged a furious flurry of blows, barely keeping his hat from flying off, "I never thought I'd thank the Death Maze, but you can't hit me, Dee! Just give up so I can have my vengeance, damn you!"
The gangster chuckled darkly and smirked. He closed his eyes and focused, a chain appearing in his hand that pulsed with purple-blue light and he stood up straight, all signs of fatigue gone. "Did you forget I'm an Overlord, Pentious? I made everyone who fell under my control sign their souls over to me. I can do this all day and night."
"Ah sh-" A fist crashed into Pentious' face, spinning the snake around before he desperately scrambled away, throwing himself under an exhaust vent to avoid a kick, "Will you help-"
Dee landed next to the inventor, booting the snake in the side and throwing him against the vent. "You see, Pentious?" He grunted, jabbing Pentious in the stomach, "That's why I cheated you! You're so-" he rained blows on the snake's torso, "-Fucking weak! Whenever a problem crops up, you just-!" he seized Pentious by the hood and slammed a headbutt into his face, "-Run! And bitch and moan and try to invent something to deal with it-" he sank his knuckles into the snake's cheek, throwing the inventor to the side, "-instead of fighting for it! Why would anyone ever respect a little snake who never fights for what he wants? Relying on minions and inventions, never having the balls to dig in and claw for it!"
Adam held Angel Dust and Husk back, his hands locked onto their shoulders as they struggled.
Pentious gasped, pushing himself off of the ground as he spat blood. Heaving for breath, the inventor had to chuckle. "You know what, Dee…you're right," he rasped, making the gangster pause, "I do run. I always have, even when I was alive. And I've always been ashamed of myself, for my flaws I pretend are virtues, for folding at the first sign of trouble, for always trying to skirt around my issues instead of taking them head-on. I'm a coward, Dee, always have been."
"…Huh," Dougie grunted, scratching his goatee, "Guess I'll give you a point for self-realization, but-"
"-I'm not finished you cretin," Pentious hissed, subtly reaching into his jacket, "You see, I realized something. As much as I always ran away, equally so that I never had anyone to have my back, to build me up and cheer me on…I've never had anyone in my corner. I've never fought for anything…because I have nothing to fight for. Well…had." He looked over his shoulder at the Overlord with a grin, displaying one of his broken fangs, "But recently…I found people who, even after I made a mistake, even after I betrayed them, they still took me in, gave me things I've never had before…respect, attention, care…friendship, and understanding. And what I want most in this existence, now…is to be the man they think I can be. To prove to them, and myself, that I am worthy! Worthy of their friendship, worthy of their respect! …And worthy of my own. I want to be better. I will be."
Pentious stood tall, glaring at the gangster with a hand behind his back, tail lying in front of him. Adam silently pumped a fist.
Dee gave Pentious an unimpressed look. "That's nice and all, but pretty words aren't going to matter once I rip your tongue out, Pentious. You're weak, you've never fought before, so what exactly makes you think you stand a chance?" He lunged at the inventor, fist cocked back but it was a feint, dropping his arm and planting his leg to lash out with a kick aimed at the snake's head.
Pentious' tail whipped out and snagged around Dee's ankle, yanking the Sinner into the air as he drew his hand from behind his back and sank his knuckles into Dee's stomach. There was a spark and a snap and the Sinner flew back, shuddering.
The inventor, panting from pain and covered in bruises, held up his hand to show a pair of brass knuckles wired to a battery as he slipped another pair on his hand. "You forget that I'm a genius, you piece of shit," Pentious raised his fists, glaring at the gangster, "I can figure it out."
Dee snarled and leapt at him.
Pentious may not have known how to fight, but he could sure as hell dodge. He weaved between punches, jabbing the Sinner in the ribs with his Shock Knuckles, taking advantage of Dee getting electrocuted to lay into their face, each blow landing with a crack and a spark.
Dee recovered, tanking the shocks with grit teeth to grab Pentious' arms, locking him down and drawing his head back…only for the snake's tail to whip forward and smack him across the face, the inventor slamming his forehead into the Sinner's nose.
Pentious shook his head and blinked hard, his vision swimming. He glanced over and his eyes bulged.
"Woo!" Adam and Angel Dust were waving pom-poms around and dancing, cheering him on. "Go-go, Penchy-chan! Penchy-chan, he's our man!"
Husk, looking incredibly embarrassed, half-heartedly waved a pom-pom. "…Yay," he mumbled, very aware of the cameras filming them.
"You guys…" Pentious sniffed, then threw himself back with a yelp as Dee lunged at him. The inventor backpedaled, dipping away from furious swipes until his back hit a transformer, his eyes going wide as Dee grinned, fist rocketing forward.
Pentious tilted his head, letting Dee's knuckles get buried in the metal shell before cracking the Sinner on the chin with an uppercut, seizing Dee by the arm and slamming them into the transformer, then turning the pin on them. He rained punch after punch on Dougie, pressing the Sinner back against the metal, electrified brass knuckles sparking and snapping as they impacted, bones cracking. He jammed the knuckles into Dee's chest and squeezed, sending thousands of volts into the Sinner that made him shudder, seize and scream.
Pentious stepped back, panting as he looked at the trembling form of Dee who glared back. His tail snapped out, wrapping around the Sinner's neck and hoisting him into the air, throttling the gangster. Then he let go, launching his fist into Dee's face and sending the Sinner rocketing back into the transformer, metal deforming under the impact with a squeal.
Dee groaned and fell to his knees, then to his face, defeated.
"K.O.!" Adam announced, throwing his arms in the air, "Pentious Wins!"
The inventor raised a fist in victory, slumping back against the Turnabout Device as he heaved for breath. "I have learned many things today, my friends," Pentious panted, drawing a handkerchief from his pocket and mopping his brow, "Mostly that I don't know how to headbutt and that I think I'm becoming concussed, ow."
"Good job, Penchy!" Angel cheered, skipping up to the inventor and hugging him, "You kicked his ass!"
"That was a good fight, Pentious," Husk nodded, clapping the snake on the shoulder with a nod, "You really showed your strength."
Adam grinned as Pentious looked at him, pulling the inventor into a firm hug. "I'm proud of you, buddy," he murmured, stepping back and offering the snake his hat, "You did good."
Pentious sniffled and wiped his eyes. "…Thank you, all of you, for doing this. I…" He shook his head, "I'll save it for later. Right now…" He turned to look at the Turnabout Device, laying his hand on the screen.
"…You gonna use it or what?" The former prostitute asked after a minute of silence.
"I'm thinking…" The inventor replied. Then he sighed. "No. No, I'm not going to. I'm tempted, oh so much, but…fanatical, mindless adulation just…doesn't feel right. It wouldn't be satisfying, and I…I don't need it." He glanced at the three of them and smiled. "Not anymore."
Adam patted Pentious on the arm, then reached over and ripped the central antenna from the Device and wrapped it around Dee, propping the gangster against one of the screens. "What do you want to do about this guy, then?"
"Can I ask something, actually?" Angel Dust cut in, "That one guy worked for Vox and I wanna know why he was here."
"'Cause Vox is panicking," Dougie groaned, shaking his head and looking up at them, straining as he tried to push against the metal tying him up, "You know, with Val dead that's a whole third of his powerbase, not to mention his favorite fuckbuddy gone in the wind. The Vees left had to scramble to keep less than half of Val's talent, obviously not you," he nodded at Angel Dust, "And that left quite the power vacuum. Which makes my Nutz look very appealing, given the size of my operation…Vox wanted to use the Device as a signal booster of sorts, make up the soul difference and in return, I'd get to be the new third."
"What, and that'd make you the Vee Dee's?" Adam mocked, poking Dee on the forehead.
"No, I'd probably change my name to keep the theme and the branding," Dougie admitted, before looking at Pentious, "I could probably swing you into the deal too, Pentious. You made this thing and I bet Vox would be real-"
The inventor punched Dee in the face, the back of the Sinner's head bouncing off of the device. "No," he said simply, brushing his hands off, "Gentlemen, I think we've spent long enough in this wretched place."
"Yup!" Adam hefted the dazed Dee up and jammed him head-first into the center of the device, leaving his legs sticking up like a pair of antennae, "How's about we make a drop off and then head home?" He put his shoulder against the device.
Husk, Angel Dust and Pentious did the same. "On three," the snake said, "One. Two. Three!" As one, they began to push, the device screeching as the bottom dragged across the roof of the building.
As they neared the edge, Dee's legs began to kick. "Ugh…what the-what the fuck are you doing?!"
"Don't-ugh-don't worry, you're just about to lose your grip on Dee's Nutz!" Angel called, gritting his teeth as they pushed, "I hear it happens to-gah-every guy when they get older!"
"N-no! Stop it! C'mon, can't you see the potential?! Pentious, listen to me-!"
They picked up speed as Adam quit playing around, sparks flying as they drove the device to the edge of the roof and then, right through the lip and off the side of the building. They watched the device, with Dee's frantically kicking legs poking out of the top, as it careened towards the ground.
"Alright," the First Man sighed, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and passing them around, "First, we take a smoke of victory," sticking a smoke between his lips, he snapped a finger and fire danced on his thumb. They leaned and lit their cigarettes as the device crashed to the ground and sparked. "Inhale." Their cherries glowed in the red light of Hell. "And exhale."
The device exploded in a towering ball of purple-blue flames, releasing the majority of the now former-Overlord's souls and rattling the building.
Pentious exhaled and relaxed, idly turning the pack of smokes over in his hand. They were branded as 'Armstrong's' with a very muscular man flexing on the front, and the motto 'Don't Fuck With This Smoker!' at the bottom.
"And now, we walk away like total badasses," Adam concluded, stepping back, turning on his heel and walking off slowly, the glow of flames burning behind them.
"…So, are you gonna put your shirt back on or what?"
"Don't fuckin' ruin this for me, Husk!"
…
The trip back down the building was uneventful, as no former Nutz was ballsy enough to make a stab at them. The foursome emerged onto the street, and found Cherri Bomb gaping at her phone on the curb. Her head snapped up as they walked down the steps. "S-so, Penchy," she started, running a hand through her hair, "This your new turf, then? Nice and messy already, but I'm sure-"
"No, it's not," Pentious interrupted, leaning on Adam, "If you want it, it's yours." They walked past her.
"W-wait!" Cherri called, confusion plain on her face, "Pentious…did you do this…for me?"
The inventor glanced back at her. "No. I did it for me." And they continued on.
…
A bit later, the four men sat around the table in the library. Adam, now no longer in disguise, set a tray with mugs of hot cocoa and sandwiches on the table and sat down, taking some for himself. He eyed a pensive Pentious, the inventor nibbling on a sandwich as he played with his hat. "Something on your mind, Pentious?"
Pentious idly nodded, still looking at the table. "…Phineas," he said quietly.
Angel Dust looked up from Fat Nuggets snuggling in his lap. "What?"
"Phineas. That's my name, or was," Pentious continued, "Back when I was alive…Phineas Fogge, Inventor Extraordinaire…Genius…friendless…"
Husk squinted in thought. "…Why does that name sound familiar?"
"Ever since I was young, I just knew how things worked, how they functioned…how to make them better. Of course, being as smart as I was, the other children were just…too dull to be interesting, always playing around in the mud…" He sighed with a hint of longing, "My parents weren't equipped to handle a child smarter than they were, though they were quite enthused to have me around to fix the boiler. School was, of course, no issue, though I was never moved up any grades, and I did get beaten up quite a lot. My only real solace those days were books, my own ideas…and trains, funnily enough."
"Trains, really?" Angel asked, a little incredulous.
"Mmhm, most modes of transportation, devices with engines, trains being the most common at the time. I thought they were interesting, if a bit primitive with the way they cut through the land. I had an idea…a mode of transportation that would simply bypass every obstacle, land, air or sea. Hot Air Balloons were already a thing, and I decided to mix them…and so I invented the first rigid airship, a zeppelin. It took many years of planning, working and…I had an investor, a German bastard who I thought was a friend…but after I created the first zeppelin, I found out that he'd stolen my designs and passed them as his own. The joke was on him, though, most considered it as being a folly for not being as fast as a train…but I'll always remember the first time I took it into the air…" Pentious sighed again, pushing his cup around with a finger.
"What happened afterwards?" Husk gently asked.
"Well, to actually use my airship with any sort of accuracy, I had to invent several devices for navigation that I patented, which gave me a bit of income to work with…but I needed more money and faster, which is how I took up smuggling…and how I came to possess Sampson. My family never understood why I couldn't just live off my patent money, be a gentleman and find a wife, but I wanted to do more…so much more. I didn't just want to create inventions and pass them off to others, I wanted to explore," he looked up at the image of the moon longingly, "I wanted to discover new things, new places and creatures never before seen. I wanted to go to the moon, delve beneath the sea, perhaps even under the Earth…see how fast I could circumnavigate the globe…"
The bartender perked up, eyes darting in thought. "Seriously, this is all sounding really familiar…"
"The only person who could stand to be around me for very long was my cousin from the French side of my father's family, and that little fool was always content to just write about my ideas instead of joining me on them! Not that I…got very far. Fuel was always an issue, as was food, but the root cause was always money. I spent so long just trying to pull funds together that all my ideas remained just that, ideas…If I could create something, one thing that could make me famous, make me a household name perhaps…even a Knighthood. And I had one, a way to collect and store energy in a far cleaner method than coal," Pentious splayed his hands on the table, "A lightning battery."
The others traded looks. "…I'm guessing it didn't work," Angel offered tentatively.
"Yeah…you know the gas in zeppelins is flammable, right?" Husk added.
The inventor gave them a flat look. "I'm well aware, gentlemen. Besides enclosing the deck so I could breathe, insulating the balloon was the first thing I did. And no, actually, the device worked! …Just not quite as intended. I'd mounted the battery, flown into the storm and was struck by lightning…and the battery collected the energy. And then…my ship was struck again. And again, the battery collected it. Then again, and…the capacity was exceeded, and I…" He mimed an explosion, "And so I died. Then I arrived in Hell and, believe it or not, I was actually excited. A whole new realm of science and magic, philosophers and fellow inventors alike! But…even down here, I was ostracized. They were more focused on magic itself while I wanted to marry it to technology more wholly, and so…once again, I was alone."
Adam reached out and laid a hand on Pentious's shoulder.
The snake sinner smiled ruefully. "You may remember I spoke of shedding my skin before, yes?" At their nods, he continued, "I discovered, through idle experimentation, that my skin retained a bit of my demonic power, and I was struck with inspiration. I would gather my sheddings and create a device that would…copy my intelligence, imbue the shed skin with life, dividing my power between two bodies so that finally, I would have an equal…a partner. Someone who I could finally…keep around."
Adam shifted his chair, wrapping his arm around Pentious in a half-hug. The inventor leaned against the First Man with a quiet sigh.
"Believe it or not, I used to despise weapons," he murmured, setting one of his laser pistols on the table and giving it a spin, "I wanted to be an explorer, not an arms dealer, but weapons are what Sinners want. As if there's much to explore in Hell," he waved a hand sardonically, "And so-"
"-I'm sorry, but this is really bothering me," Husk cut in regretfully, shrinking a little at the three glares sent his way, "You said your name was Phineas Fogge?"
"Yes," Pentious nodded, blinking as Husk jumped to his feet and disappeared into the library. "…Okay…"
"I can still hear you, keep talking!" The bartender called.
The inventor looked at Adam and Angel, who shrugged in return. "…Very well. It took some time, but eventually the device was completed. I activated it, stepped onto the platform…and used it successfully. However, dividing my essence…"
"It divided your intelligence too, didn't it?" Adam asked knowingly.
Pentious chuckled quietly. "Of course you'd understand, Sir Adam," he sighed, "Yes, it divided all of my essence, everything that makes me, me. My intelligence, my attention, my…conspiracy theories…"
"…Sweet Jesus," Angel breathed, eyes wide, "So that's where your Egg Boiz came from."
"Wait, really?! Damn, I always wondered where you found those!" Husk called from the stacks.
"Indeed. I never expected that the device would do such a thing, and I was so eager that I…set it to activate multiple times," Pentious admitted, "And afterwards, the device was destroyed, and I…well as I am now, I have such a hard time focusing on one thing. Sometimes I'll forget what I was doing mid-soldering, mid-word or mid-draw, and attempt to go back and…obviously, even as I am, I'm still a genius!" He perked up pridefully before a frown came over his face, "No…no, I…I lied just now. I remembered, I…the device worked perfectly. I devised it to divide my intelligence, as well, because…"
Angel Dust scooted his chair to the inventor's other side, wrapping an arm around him.
"All my life, I was alone except for Sampson. No matter how badly I wanted friends, loved ones…family," Pentious choked, "I always drove them away. They were just…too slow, too dull, too…normal. I was so proud of my inventions-" He jabbed a finger in the air, "And why wouldn't I be?! The things I created! The devices I invented! I…wanted to share them with the world, change the world and yet…I could never change myself. It was easier to think of them all as dullards and fools with simple, happy lives, but…being a lonesome genius…I loathed it. Loathed myself. If I could just…change it, change the worst parts of me, perhaps I could finally find someone to…have. To be with. No matter what I've done, though…no one loves me. Even my family was distant before my death. So I tried to…divide those parts away. And yet…" He threw his hands up meaningfully.
Angel Dust tried not to cringe as he remembered all the times he'd made fun of Pentious and his inventions. "But you got that now!" He pointed out, rubbing the snake's back, "I mean shit, you tried to blow me up, twice, but I like you plenty, Penchy!"
"…But it isn't really Pentious you like, is it?" Adam pointed out softly, "It's him divided, him as less than he truly is. Part of you hated yourself for how you were, so you changed yourself…and now that part of you hates that you changed, hates that what you've gained came at the cost of you, in your entirety."
"Y-yes…" Pentious whimpered, "Every moment of happiness, every instance of joy and acceptance is marred by that part of me, that insidious little whisper that…it isn't really me. It's…what I changed myself into that you like, this…raw slab of myself, cut away from the whole and I…I don't know how to fix it. Or even if I can."
"Pentious…Phineas," the First Man said softly, "You're a genius, sure, but let me teach you basic math: you can't add by subtracting." At the inventor's confused and somewhat offended look, he continued. "You wanted to be a better version of yourself, right? To be more than you were…why would taking away from yourself do that? People, some more than others, are like shards of glass, freshly broken." He tapped his finger on the table, creating a triangular piece of glass that he took between his fingers, scratching a small line into the table, "The edges are flaws, but some can't even see them. To become better you have to recognize and accept what they are and then, over time…" He rubbed his thumb against the edges, motes of white sand falling to the table, "You work at them, slowly and steadily until…" Adam opened Pentious' hand and placed the glass into his palm, "Your flaws become virtues."
The inventor ran his fingers over the glass, feeling the smooth edges with his thumb. "Adam…this is just glass," he said, letting it drop on the table.
Adam shone a small beam of light from his finger that touched the glass. Light, multicolored and beautiful, shone across the wood. "…Is it?" He asked softly, "Or did it just seem like it? Perhaps it began as glass, but became more? Pentious…wanting to be a better version of yourself is admirable, but there are no shortcuts, not for true, genuine change. There are no substitutes for hard work."
Pentious gulped, looking down at the piece of crystal and the light shining from it. "…So, what am I supposed to do now?" He questioned with a helpless shrug, "The device was broken, and I don't think I can rebuild it. How-?"
"-I'm back!" Husk gasped, nearly slamming into the table as his arms were full of books, "Finally, I found what I was looking for! Here, Pentious…I mean, first of all, I'm sorry about what happened, but also, I think you overlooked something. Or someone. Your French writer cousin, was his name Jules?"
The inventor blinked up at him in confusion. "I…yes. How did you-"
"-Verne?"
Pentious nodded slowly. "Yes…how-"
Husk slapped a book on the table and slid it towards the snake. The title read 20,000 Leagues Under The Seas.
Pentious picked it up and flicked through, brow furrowing. "Wait…this Nautilus sounds like an undersea vehicle I theorized-" Another book, From the Earth to the Moon. "And this…obviously I was thinking more of a vessel, not a bullet, but-" And then Around the World in Eighty Days. On the cover was an illustration of an Englishman in a top hat, holding a cane. "…That's…me. That's…how I looked when I was alive…" He drew his finger across the author's name, face writ with disbelief. "Little Julie…he stole my ideas-!"
"No, dumbass!" Husk scoffed, bopping Pentious on the head with a book, "Look at this! Phileas Fogg, sometimes Phineas, makes a bet that he can travel around the world in eighty days, and he does, going on adventures with his manservant and friend, saves a woman who falls in love with him, and wins in the end. Pentious…your cousin wrote a book where you were the main character, where you succeed as a well-respected gentleman with family and friends. I think…you weren't quite as despised as you thought. People don't write their enemies as getting a happy ending, do they?"
"I…" Pentious choked, his eyes glistening, "Little Jules…" He carefully flipped the book open, then stopped and closed it. "I think I need some time to myself…gentlemen, thank you for your assistance today, it means quite a bit to me." He tucked the book under his arm and pushed away from the table, quietly slithering away.
"Pentious," Adam said softly, making the inventor look back at the First Man, "You'll figure it out. You're a genius, remember?"
Pentious smiled slightly and nodded. "Right you are, Sir Adam."
…
…I've figured it out. Sir Adam was right. I recognized my flaws, but instead of accepting them, I divided them from myself. No more.
BURP*
Excuse me. Jules thought the world of me, I only wish I realized it when I was alive…but in Hell, what he hoped for me, I will use as inspiration. To better myself, to accept myself…I am not alone anymore. Perhaps I never truly was…I wonder if my form, a snake with so many eyes is meant to be ironic. I've never been particularly treacherous, I suppose, though being a smuggler might count, but the eyes…perhaps because I had what I wanted right in front of me, and never saw it?
muffled screaming*
Hm. A metaphysical question, I'll have to ponder it later. For now-
-HELP! HELP THE BOSS HAS GONE CANNIBAL-!
Shush, Frank. I've always appreciated you and the other Egg Boiz being in my corner, helpful or not. It's a hard pill to swallow, and I don't enjoy this any more than you do…perhaps another snake-like aspect that comes in useful, though would that mean I was supposed to do as I did, and it was all planned? Another thing to ponder.
Now- Stop kicking!
there is muffled screaming and gagging, followed by a pained sigh*
…Ow. Sir Adam talked of watching a few movies, perhaps that would be enjoyable while I…accept myself. I shall see.
…
Pentious, looking a little rounder than normal, slithered towards the recreation room with relaxation in mind, but heard voices already coming from within. Ducking down, the inventor pressed his ear to the door, eyes widening as he realized who was speaking.
"-I'll let Pentious tell you his story, but that's what we did," Adam said, sounding a little amused, "You are disappointed you didn't get to partake in some Consequence-Free Violence, aren't you? Don't worry, there's definitely going to be more of that coming up."
"I-it's not that! …Not just that, I mean everyone working together, protecting each other…it's what the hotel is all about! I missed Angel's story, now I've missed Pentious' story…I feel like I should be more involved, you know?" There was a loud sigh, and Pentious dared to peek around the door.
Adam was sitting on a couch with Charlie pouting next to him, her arms crossed. "Considering this whole thing was your idea, I say that makes you involved with pretty much fuckin' everything," he pointed out, patting her knee, "Next big revelation, though, I'll make sure you're there, okay?"
Her hand rested on top of his, her pale fingers dwarfed by his. "…Okay."
Pentious nearly jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning to see Angel Dust giving him a confused look. The inventor put a finger to his lips and pointed at the door, the spider sinner joining him in his eavesdropping.
"-think it's time we started on more advanced exercises," Charlie was saying, idly playing with the First Man's fingers, "Could modify the Death Maze some more for those Role-Playing Encounters you were talking about…"
"Yeah? And what about your big idea?" He asked, turning his hand over, shivering lightly as she traced the lines of his palm, "You were so excited, gotta admit I wanna know what it is. Something sexy maybe?"
"Well, you did inspire it in a way," she teased, fluttering her eyelashes at him.
"Definitely sexy then," he nodded, making her giggle.
Pentious turned just as Husk came upon the two of them, a finger to his lips. The bartender arched an eyebrow, but joined them without fuss.
"-keep your secrets, then," Adam chuckled, looking down at Charlie with a smile. A comfortable silence fell between them as his expression slowly dropped. "…You know we have to talk about this morning, right?"
The Princess slumped. "…Yeah," she sighed, "I…I'm sorry, Adam, I almost kissed you-"
"-I was leaning in too, Charlie," he pointed out, "You know…it would've been a mistake, right?"
"My feelings aren't a mistake!" Charlie snapped, eyes alight before she crumbled, head in her hands, "…But I know what you mean. It's just…"
He laid a hand on her back, and she leaned against him. "Whatever we may feel-"
"…We?" Charlie asked softly, coyly. She glanced up at him, her eyes warm and bright.
Adam smiled gently at her, squeezing her hand. "…Yeah, we." His voice was tender. Angel Dust, Husk and Pentious silently fist-pumped. "But…whatever we feel, Vaggie doesn't deserve this. I know you're still angling for that threesome, but it isn't fair to her to do…this." He held up their joined hands. "I think…we should make a little distance. Professional distance."
Despite his words, he didn't try to move away from her.
"I think you're right," she sighed sadly, "The emotional part is bad enough, but at least it didn't become physical…I'm not gonna stop, though, alright? I-I can't just drop her, and I can't stop wanting you and I want this so badly and I…fuck. I sound like my parents, don't I?"
"Stop comparing yourself to them, Charlie," Adam said firmly, tilting her chin up to look into her eyes, "Whatever happens, as long as you don't betray the best parts of yourself for selfish reasons, you'll always be better. Just…something has to give. I hope it isn't you."
Charlie bit her lip, scooting to rest her head against Adam's arm. "…Can we stay like this? For just a bit longer?" she asked quietly.
"…Yeah."
The three sinners carefully crept away from the door and headed into the lounge. There, Husk poured them all a drink, and they looked each other in the eye. Silently, they nodded and clinked their glasses together.
Adam was their bro. And bros looked out for each other. And there was no better way for a bro to look out for their other bros than securing them a threesome.
This they swore.
…
Perhaps later.
Whatever the case…I am glad things have led me here. My life was a cavalcade of errors and my death moreso, but now…now I have hope. Hope that one day I will be the man my cousin thought I could be. Hope that I will be accepted for who I am, and not what I made myself. Hope…that one day I might see Heaven.
Until then, I will guard myself, and my friends. I have an idea for a device of sorts, a shield…
(several scribbles follow, along with a rough sketch of a belt-mounted gadget)
I won't fail them, now that I have them. My friends.
My home.
My family.
…
…
…
…
…
…
A/N: (message from the future: the AO3 version is up to chapter 23, and Pa-treon at 24. Also, this fic has a TvTropes page that could use some love!)
So, quite a bit happened in this chapter. Of course you can't have four dudes storming a building without at least some references to Yakuza, or The Raid or John Wick or Old Boy…so it's a good thing there were a lot!
I enjoy writing combat, but sometimes I get a little too stuck in the details, but hopefully it was good. I was aiming for a bit smaller chapter, word-count wise but…heh. No. Plus, I always enjoy writing pragmatic combat. Flashbang grenades, teargas grenades, it's all on the table- and the table, too.
And a Pangolin. I like pangolins.
Plus, hey look at that! Husk unlocked a new power! Will that come in handy, later on down the line? I mean, I'm drawing attention to it now, so yeah, obviously. And you know, it's a power based on protection, almost as if he actually likes the people around him, too. The bros are coming together. Will Alastor become a bro, too? Or will he remain a bitch?
And yeah, couldn't have Majiadam back without the best song ever.
Basically, I stuffed the first part of the chapter full of references and I'll be legitimately surprised if anyone can find all of them.
But of course, that wasn't the main thrust of the chapter. No, twas the lengthy, girthy, sweaty smacking of Pentious finally standing up to himself, for himself, and laying the smack-down on someone who'd fucked him over in the past. Plus a couple more one-on-one fights where realizations and actualizations are had, as is custom being set on the rooftop with almost everyone being shirtless.
Fun fact, I was originally also going to have Angel and Husk's fight with the one guy, but then I realized three big fights all at once in the same chapter was kinda pushing it.
And I mean, come on. I had to have some Tiger Drops in there eventually. Not gonna sugarcoat it.
And Pentious did some growing and some learning and now he has friends! They grow up so fast.
Then, almost finally, we get to Pentious' tragic backstory. And yeah, it's a bit of a stretch (what isn't in this setting?) but I can't be the only one who thought Englishman? Inventor? Gentleman? BALLOON? And immediately thought of Phileas/Phineas Fogg, right? I mean, yeah his cousin being Jules Verne and him being the inspiration for a lot of stories might be a bit of stretch, again but I just couldn't help myself. Plus, a bit of my own take on why, of all people, Pentious might actually be reasonable as the first one redeemed: he wasn't all that bad, really. His greatest sin was literally pride, but otherwise, besides some smuggling, he was generally an alright guy.
What do you think?
Plus, a bit more of Adam and Charlie talking about their almost-kiss. Much as they both want it, still a shitty thing to do to Vaggie. But don't worry, the 'slow' part 'slow burn' is slowly fading away…slowly.
Next up, Nifty…kinda. I figured out Vaggie's character, so she kinda took over, but that's alright. Her revelations and tragic backstory, well…let's just say a couple chapters focusing on some nice stuff might be good.
As always, big thanks to NSG for being the man. Why not give him a look-see and tell him I sent you?
Another big thanks to the peeps in the discord and the FMC.
And the last big thanks to you, the reader. Thanks for taking the time to read my long-ass chapter. I hope you liked it and you come back again and do all that liking and bookmarking and reviewing and whatnot, that'd be nice. But however it goes, thanks for reading, and stay hydrated.
Stay Awesome!
~Soleneus
P.S.: Nifty's chapters are about three now. Just wanted to let you know ahead of time, and also that, Nifty isn't really the biggest part, I'm saving all that for the gutpun-I mean, completely normal and in no way traumatizing backstory chapter. Wink.
Hope your summer's gone well. Mine's been alright, and I've been writing a lot. It's nice, being consistent with updates, Imma try to keep doing that.
Stay Awesome Some More.
~still Soleneus