The next day passes in a bit of a blur. We fought more, but I was paired up with Myra. The victory against her didn't feel real. Myra was one of the lowest ranked in the class and she hadn't really picked up any combat skills yet. Even sore, I beat her with no struggle.
I've decided to finally take a night to rest. No sneaking around. No extra training. Just sleep.
Unfortunately, it seems like that's not what life has in store for me. The moment my head hits the pillow, the door to our dormitory is thrown open and several people with flashlights rush into the room.
"Everybody up!" Eric's voice roars at us. Several other Dauntless members are with him, including Four. His eyes lock onto mine and I'm frozen.
"Are you deaf, initiate?" Eric moved closer to me at some point, and I jump when I realize how close his voice sounds. I was so busy staring I forgot to actually move.
Once everyone was out of bed, Eric barks out that we have five minutes to dress and meet at the train tracks.
I throw my feet into my boots and wait for Christina. I had been to tired to change clothes, so there's nothing more for me to do. We run out and towards the tracks as soon as she's finished, and our group of transfers are just behind the Dauntless born.
There are black boxes on the ground in front of the tracks. One is labeled "PAINTBALLS" which seems fairly self-explanatory. Eric calls out an order to grab guns. I'm close to the boxes, so I'm the first one to claim one and a box of paintballs.
Eric and Four are bickering over the train schedule when I see the reflection of lights at the turn.
"If you're both done, it's coming," I say before moving closer to the tracks. Four and Eric fall into step next to me, both of them jumping on at the same time. The minute his feet hit the floor of the train car, Four's arm is extended to help me.
I grab his forearm and he pulls me in. Once I'm in, I let go quickly without look at him and move to the other side of the train car to wait for my friends. Eric's eyes are looking back and forth between me and Four, a certain curious amusement playing out on his face. His eyes catch mine briefly before I look away to watch Christina come to a stop beside me.
We're playing capture the flag. The rules do not take long to explain. Eric and Four identify themselves as team captains, and of course, Eric picks first.
His choice of Edward makes sense. He's ranked first in the class.
Four surprises me, and the rest of the occupants, when he briefly scans the initiates and then says "I'll take the princess."
I know he's talking about me, but I refuse to acknowledge it. I'm not answering to that stupid nickname he's given me. The standoff lasts about a minute with both of us refusing to say anything, when finally Eric cuts in.
"Tris, I think he means you," he says dryly, rolling his eyes.
"Oh," I feign surprise. "Well, my apologies for being confused." I make a show of twirling in a circle as I move towards Four, dropping into a curtsey when I reach my destination. Everyone on the train laughs, but I'm just glaring at Four.
Eric motions to me with his gun, but says to Four, "You better watch out for that one. Friendly fire still counts as a hit."
When Four looks down at me, I throw him the fakest smile I can muster. "Your pick, Eric," he says.
"Peter." Oh good, I'll get the chance to shoot him.
"Christina."
"Molly." Another great choice.
"Will." Is he just picking all my friends?
"Al."
"Drew." Well shit, there goes that theory.
Myra is the last transfer and she goes with Eric. They move on to the Dauntless born initiates and I tune them out.
As more people move to Four's team, I start seeing his strategy. A few people are bulky, but the rest of us are small. In this game, speed is more important than strength, and Eric built out his team full of powerhouses.
As we go to jump off, someone trips me, causing me to almost topple out of the train. I don't care who it was – I know it was either Molly, Peter, or Drew. But I ignore them and jump out.
Out team gathers around Four looking for instruction. One of the Dauntless born – I don't know her name – touches Four's shoulder and asks him where his team hid the flag.
"That defeats the purpose of the game, Marlene," he says coolly. She whines again at him, giving him a flirtatious smile. I'm not sure why I find myself grinning when he brushes her hand off.
Before she can ask again, Uriah steps up and says "Navy Pier. They kept it at the carousel."
"You're starting to become a problem for me, Pedrad," Four says in warning, glancing at me and then back at Uriah.
Uriah may be one of the first people I've seen that seems to have no fear of Four – I wonder how close they actually are. Because he simply grins back at Four and says nothing.
We start moving towards Navy Pier and arguments start breaking out over strategy. They hide the flag on the carousel, mimicking Four's winning method, and I stay silent and observe.
There's still too much disagreement. Dauntless born don't want to trust transfers and vice versa. This may be a team sport, but everyone is still somewhat out for themselves.
Four doesn't stop them; doesn't interrupt at all. Instead, he sits down on the edge of the carousel and leans back to look at the sky. The stretch emphasizes the muscles in his chest, his arms, his neck, and I find myself unable to look away. I close my eyes to focus. I don't have time for this.
There's no point in their arguing or attempting to formulate a strategy with no knowledge of what the other team is doing. We need to find out. I look around and my eyes land on the Ferris wheel. That should work.
No one is paying attention to me and there's no pause in the arguments as I walk away. I say a small mental thanks when I see a ladder going up the side.
Unfortunately, it's old and rusty. I'm not 100% sure that it will support my weight. I step on the lowest rung and jump on it to make sure it will hold me. Satisfied that it will, I start climbing.
"Tris," comes a low voice from the ground. I stop and look over my shoulder to see Four standing at the base of the ladder.
"Yes?"
"What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm seeking higher ground to find the other team," I reply. "I don't think I'm doing anything."
His smile is clear, even in the darkness. He starts climbing behind me without a word.
"I don't need your help," I snap at him.
"I'm well aware," he says. I can't find the sarcasm in his tone, but it must be there.
I don't mean to slow down, but I do and he catches up to me. He's talking the whole time, but I find it hard to concentrate. I feel almost dizzy and shaky. I'm not sure why – the height doesn't bother me.
When he's so close he's practically touching me, I realize it's him. His presence is messing with my balance. My everything. I hear his loud breath behind me, almost like he's hyperventilating.
"Are you all right, Four?" I ask in concern.
He takes a gasping breath. "What are you?" he pants out. "Are you even human? Being up this high doesn't bother you at all?"
He's afraid of heights. I want to laugh, but at the same moment, a heavy gust of wind presses against me and I fall to the right of the ladder. Both of my hands are wrapped around the side pole in a death grip.
Four's hand clamps around my hip, his fingers like fire on the bare skin just under the hem of my shirt where it's ridden up. He squeezes my hip and then readjusts me gently back into place on the ladder.
"You okay?" he asks quietly.
"Yes." Do I sound like what I think I sound like? Did he notice?
He continues to whine a bit as we climb higher.
"Tris, I think this is high enough!"
"No," I call back, "I need to go higher."
"For God's sake, princess," he groans. I want to hit him, but that would be counterproductive.
"You don't have to follow me."
He lets out a loud sigh. "Yeah, I do."
The view from the top is breathtaking. I stand on one of the metal supports and spread my arms out on the higher bar. A moment later, he appears across the bar from me. He bumps me slightly as he gains his footing, and then I can feel the heat from his hands as he spreads them out right outside mine, caging me in.
My head is turning every way to search for the flag, but his seem locked on me. Makes sense, honestly, since he probably doesn't want to look down.
"I found it!" I say happily. He turns his head to follow my eyes.
"Looks like the park at the end of the pier," he agrees. He turns back towards the ladder, but we both seem to have forgotten how close we're standing. I can feel the heat from his skin. Each puff of breath feels like sparks traveling down my neck.
"Right," I say, clearing my throat. "You go ahead and start. I'll follow you down."
The team is still arguing as we approach them.
"Where have you guys been?" Christina asks when she spots us, looking from Fout to me.
"Well, while the rest of you struggled to come up with an idea," Four says, "Tris climbed to the top of the Ferris wheel to scout the other team. We know where they are."
The team asks for guidance. They all look to Four for instruction, but Four is looking at me. Slowly, all eyes follow and now everyone is looking at me. Somehow I'm now in charge. I look at Four in surprise, but he's just got a small smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.
I suggest we split up. Christina and Uriah follow me. Christina takes off like a bullet while the other half draw fire their way. Uriah and I exchange glances and then shrug, taking off after Christina. We get held up a couple times, providing cover fire for opponents we see making their way towards us.
We catch up to her at the base of the tree the flag is hanging from, but all three of us are too short to reach. Uriah and I clasp our hands together to form a step. Christina understands immediately and puts her hand on our shoulders to pull herself up. Once she's steady, we boost her up so that she can grab the flag.
As soon as she's successful, she jumps down and the three of us hug each other tightly, screaming in victory. Christina holds out the flag for me and Uriah to grab hold of, and then we all turn and run through the field holding it above our heads while the rest of our team surrounds us. Uriah and I released the flag and helped them boost Christina up in the air.
I lagged back, grinning at their antics. I' not supposed to be the center of attention, so I enjoy just standing back and watching my team enjoy their victory. A hand touches my shoulder as I'm walking.
"Well done, Tris," Four says quietly.
When we return to Dauntless, no one returns to bed. The Pit is loud and lively. Our class seems to be mostly sticking together for the night. Molly, Peter, and Drew have wandered off on their own, the rest of us are sticking close – laughing.
It dawns on me then – regardless of my mission or whatever reason I'm here – all I have to do is pass initiation and this life is actually mine.
I didn't really pay attention to whatever the drink was that Uriah pressed into my hands, but the way I'm feeling right now, I'm realizing it was alcoholic.
I've agreed to a game of Candor or Dauntless, and this is… well, fairly dangerous for me. I can't afford to have loose lips.
"Alright then," Uriah announces loudly, "Since we've got some new kids on the block, I'll explain the rules. They're simple. You have to pick Candor or Dauntless. If you refuse whatever you're offered, you take off a piece of clothing. That's it, guys, that's the rules."
I'm not sure when Molly, Peter, and Drew decided to join, but they're part of the game now too. Even some of the non-initiates are milling around, contemplating taking part.
"I think the champion of tonight's game should get the first go. So, Christina, who do you want to start with?" Uriah asks.
Oh no. Why would he give that kind of power to a tipsy Christina?
Christina is looking at me with an evil grin on her face. "Tris… Candor or Dauntless?"
This is dangerous. I can't do Candor because I have too many secrets. But anyone good at this can still turn a Dauntless into a Candor if they know what they're doing.
"Ummm… Dauntless." Being brave is a lot easier than being honest. Unfortunately, the evil grin doesn't fall.
Concerning.
"Okay, I dare you to kiss whoever you think is the most attractive person in the room."
If I say no, it's an immediate give away that I'm from Abnegation. But also, why are her eyes staring at Four?
No, you know what, this is fine. She should learn to be more specific with her questions. Attractiveness is different than interest.
I give a shrug and stand up, turning back and forth to see who is in the room. Oh, well, of course, all the attractive people just group together.
"Okay," I say simply. I walk slowly to where Four is standing. I hear catcalls behind me and I'm sure Christina thinks she's won something with this. I didn't realize he was here, but I now catch Eric's eyes from where he's sitting on a ledge observing. He looks entertained.
By now, I know Christina is expecting me to stop at Four. The catcalling gets louder and more lewd when I come to a stop in front of the Dauntless born instructor. She's a bit taller than me, so I look up at her.
"Hi, I think your name is Lauren, right?" She's grinning, but nods at me. "Great, I'm Tris. Just wanted to make sure we were at least properly introduced."
And then I lean forward with the intention of giving her a quick peck on the lips. Lauren, however, is a true Dauntless. The moment our lips touch, she wraps her arms around my back and pulls me against her.
I've never kissed anyone before. I'm frozen in shock for a moment, but the combination of alcohol and her tongue against my lips seems to open me up a little bit. After what seems like eternity, I pull away from her, breathless.
My eyes are wide in disbelief, staring at her. She just gives me a wink and then her eyes dart to Four standing next to her. I follow her gaze and see him staring at us with an odd expression. His hand is clenched into a fist. Is he mad? Is Lauren his girlfriend or something?
Lauren just laughs and shoves his shoulder. "Don't be such a prude, Four." That seems to break him out of whatever trance he was in, and I make my way back to my friends.
I look at Christina and she looks incredibly pleased with herself. "That is so not how I expected that to turn out, but somehow it was still so much better." She nods at me. "Your turn."
"Uriah!" I call out in a singsong voice.
"Dauntless!" he says immediately. As expected.
"I dare you to walk up to whoever in our class you think is the biggest threat to your rank and fight them."
He smirks at me. "Tris, my dear, I'm not sure you understand how this game works. You're supposed to hurt others, not yourself."
"What?" I screech out. "Come on, Uriah. Be serious. Flattery gets you nowhere."
"Back me up, guys," he calls, looking towards the instructors. "Who should I be fighting?"
To my dismay, Lauren points at me and Four is giving me a sheepish look. When I glare at him, he just shrugs. My last hope – I look up at Eric. When he sees me look at him, he smirks.
"They're not wrong, princess," he says. "You've got the most movement up the ranks since the start."
Uriah grins and takes a step forward, but I back up. "No way, Uriah. This is a conspiracy. You're all full of shit!" I look behind me and make my plan. "Fine, let's add in a test of fight or flight. In case you were wondering where I fall on that, I've fought enough these last few days."
I turn and jump towards the small ledge and pull myself up before reaching for one of the hanging support ropes and swinging myself left and rappelling up higher. Now out of reach, I call down to them.
"I'll fight you up here if you can catch me, Uriah!"
I tuned out of the next several rounds, using the rope as support as I swayed on the thin ledge to the music.
"Princess!" I look up at Eric who is calling to me from a ledge across the Pit. "Candor or Dauntless?"
"Well, Uriah hasn't had enough to drink for me to feel safe coming down yet," I call back, leading to laughter below. "So, I guess it's Candor."
Somehow, I think that's what he was hoping for.
"Everyone in the room right now – marry, fuck, kill. Who do you pick?"
"Murder Peter," I say without hesitation. "Like, 100% without guilt." It was definitely the expected answer, but it still leads to laughter. "I think I need more alcohol for the other two."
Surprisingly, I watch Four hand a bottle up to Eric for him to throw across to me. I'm impressed by my reflexes when I actually catch it. I open it and take a large gulp and then finish.
"Just for that, I'd fuck you Eric, as long as you bring me beer when I ask. And I guess I'll marry Four" – I cannot believe I just said that – "he's quiet, so definitely the least irritating. And look, I didn't even ask him for a beer and he just did it. That's husband material right there."
Several people looked like they were about to say something, but bless Uriah for his interruption as a new song started playing.
"Oh hey, Tris, it's your theme song!" he calls up. "I'll forfeit our fight if you come down from there and dance with me."
I start bopping my head to the beat, recognizing the song. "Yeah, I agree to your terms."
"Careful, princess!" Eric calls out as I start stumbling down the ledge. I lose my footing once or twice, but it's fine.
"I've got this," I say, waving my hand at him.
The look on his face tells me he does not believe me. "Four," he says. I'm not sure how saying someone's name is all it takes as a demand, but it works because Four is already making his way to where I'm hanging and he's climbing up.
I squint my eyes at him. "Um, excuse me sir, what are you doing? I might be drunk, but I know what I'm doing. You're drunk and terrified."
He's rolling his eyes at me, but still walking up the wall with the rope. I try to scoot away from him, but my foot slips and my hand slides off the wall and I flail. He kicks roughly off the wall and bounds over to me, landing with grace next to me and grabbing me around the waist.
I've stopped breathing now, I'm pretty sure. Just frozen. My face feels warm and I know it's not the alcohol causing the blush. If I could turn, I would glare at Eric for causing this, but I'm just a little too tipsy to try to fight against Four. So I release my rope and wrap my arms around him as he rappels back down the wall.
"You don't have anything to prove to anyone here," he murmured to me as he set me on my feet.
I open my mouth to say… something, I'm not sure yet. But I'm saved by Uriah who pulls me out of Four's arms to dance.
And neither of us are particularly good dancers, but the song isn't really one that you dance well to. It's one you really jump up and down to. Uriah is holding both of my hands in the air and all we're doing is jumping up and down and twisting back and forth, but it's fun.
"I live now cause the bad die last! Dodging bullets with your broken past!"
Uriah is basically yelling the words to the song at me, but I do the same in return. Actually, many occupants of the Pit join in.
"I can't hear you, I don't fear you now! Wrapped in your regret, what a waste of blood and sweat. Oh-Oh-Oh!"
As the chorus starts up, Uriah spins me away and whoever grabs my hands stays behind me. So I'm looking at Uriah, but dancing with someone else and I'm not sure who. But at this point, there are so many people dancing that no one has their own breathing room anyway. I don't care. I'm more focused on dancing and singing.
"I wanna taste love and pain! I wanna feel pride and shame! I don't wanna take my time! I don't wanna waste one line! I wanna live better days – never look back and say could have been me! It could have been me, yeah!"
At some point during the song, I'm pulled back closer to the person I'm dancing with. I absolutely shouldn't be able to know who it is by the feel of his body, but dammit, I do. I lift my head and catch Uriah's eyes. Yep. His expression – and Christina's, which I catch out of the corner of my eye – tell me that is absolutely Four behind me.
The fuck is going on.
As the song is coming to an end, I feel Four's arm wrap around my waist to hold me back against him and he leans down in my ear to whisper, "Candor or Dauntless, Tris?"
"Candor," I answer, stupidly, because I'm drunk enough to answer whatever he asks me.
"What is your name?"
Song Credit: "Could Have Been Me" by The Struts
A/N: I'm doing my best to post updates daily for this story. At this point, I have twenty chapters written. So... enjoy.