AN*~~~ Yeah, ya'll got me lol I tried to sneak that last chapter out. It had been a long while and I was nervous as to whether anyone was still interested. Then fixed their email system and I got all your reviews! I had a ball reading them because ya'll don't only have me laughing but shaking my head in agreement and frustration lol It really gets me enthused to write and share the rest of my vision with you.
I've given myself some grace about taking so long, because to date this is my longest story. In fact, this is the chapter that tops Within the Canyon. And there's still more chapters to go *bites nails* I thought this would be a messy, kinda ooc multi-chapter fic that would leave me room to finish up other stories. But here we are untangling this complicated web Richonne has weaved themselves into.
Thanks as always! And he's to keeping Richonne alive in every imaginable way!
~~~16~~~
"Morning. I brought you a coffee. Black and sweet, just how you like it."
"Thanks Morgan. I needed this." Rick, who sat behind his desk, appreciatively took the cup and slowly sipped the hot brew.
"Figured you'd have a nasty hangover. Surprised you even came in. But instead, you beat me here."
"Luckily, it isn't as bad as I figured it would be. Just waiting for the painkillers to kick in." Rick picked up the bottle shaking them.
Morgan snickered. "And I see you moved your car over from the parking lot."
"Yeah, Tobin was good enough to pick me up. Swung me by the restaurant to grab it on the way. Is Reg coming in? I needed to talk to you both."
"He should be in soon. Something serious?"
"It could be. I've got something I wanna offer you two."
"An offer? Now, I'm really intrigued." Morgan smiled while crossing his arms over his chest.
"Once Reg gets here. We can talk."
"Fair enough."
There was a brief pause allowing Rick to open the schedule for the day ahead before he'd get to his emails. But he could always tell when his best friend had something on his mind. The quiet was deafening. However, with the way his head throbbed, he'd just wait for him to broach whatever the subject was. And Rick didn't have to wait long.
"That was her at the event last night."
"Who?"
"Your mood regulator."
Busy looking through the plans while sipping his coffee, Rick didn't even have the wherewithal to look up at Morgan for another one of his riddled analogies.
"Morgan, the group I'm bringing in to advise on the urban farm and native plant nursery will be ready to reveal their suggestions any day now-"
"I don't think anyone else realized enough to put things together. I just happened to be on the lookout for any agitation you might've had. Seeing the purpose of us being there was for a necessary rubbing of elbows."
"What did you see?" Rick glanced up, concerned.
"Reg and Deana did a good job defusing. And the liquor helped too." He chuckled. "But I'll say that when you should've been pissed, someone in particular had you smiling again."
Rick couldn't help the grin that overtook his face at any thought of Michonne but particularly at what they'd not so stealthily achieved.
"Yeah, that smile."
Try as he may, Rick couldn't get his cheeks to relax. His body didn't want him to deny the joy this woman brought him.
"I imagine it's gone further since you told me about it before. Your feelings for her, that is."
Rick tapped at his leg nervously and Morgan rose a curious eyebrow. But he efficiently relaxed his facial features letting Rick know he wouldn't judge him.
Standing felt necessary to convey his fervor and after doing so Rick took a deep breath to reveal his truths.
"My feelings have grown. When I'm near her. Even more so when I'm not. I long for her. And each time we are… together and have to part, I'm torn up."
"Together?"
Rick swallowed hard observing his friend's need to take a seat. Clearly, Morgan had not expected an assumed crush to have progressed as far as it had. But he listened.
"It was supposed to be a one-time thing. But now it's got a life of its own."
"Is it simply the exhilaration?" Morgan thoughtfully inquired.
"I liked to pretend it was. But from our first glance that day in the barbershop. It was something else."
It was Morgan's turn to take a deep breath. "I'm not trying to make you out to be the asshole here. But she's still married?"
Rick agonizingly sighed and started to pace back and forth.
"This isn't like you Rick. You're still with Jessie."
"It's complicated."
"To say the least."
"I know, I know. But Michonne's not happy in her marriage."
They both chuckled dryly before Rick continued. "That sounds like every homewrecker's excuse."
"I'm glad you said it. Not me."
It all was too familiar to Rick. He'd heard it from the other man's mouth when he finally confronted Lori's ongoing affair. Rick wasn't happy either and should've dealt with their issues head-on. Trying to run from the progressive decay of the marriage allowed their anger to fester. Lori frustratingly voicing hers while he continually muted his. Until it bubbled over into a tumultuous divorce filled with strife all for Carl to witness.
Things were different for an unsatisfied wife. Societal pressures to remain and make things work because 'men were men'. To sacrifice her joy or dignity for the approval of others who didn't have to live through it. Staying for the children to not create a 'broken' home. But Rick wanted to be careful not to go off into the abstract. Or use his own personal experience facing infidelity in marriage as justification. To not venture into context and theories but to focus on Michonne.
Perhaps she still truly loved Mike. And underneath it all wanted him to earn her trust back allowing them to work out. Rick knew that would mean he and her eventually severing ties and her continuing a marriage even if her husband wasn't deserving, in his opinion. But Rick was too fearful as to what her answer would be if he asked. He didn't want to force her to make a decision before he showed her the care, conviction and protection a life with him could afford.
Morgan patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts. But decided to help him along.
"If you take some time and think about pulling that bandage off. You just might find that that wound has healed underneath. There will be a scar, but it's lessened with time and care."
"Hmm…"
"And the quicker you do it, the less it'll hurt."
"That's what you hope." Rick sighed, rubbing his temple. "But what if it doesn't?"
"What's the alternative? Living a lie to remain stuck in your past."
With not enough preparation, Rick jumped nearly feet first into this relationship with Jessie. A pathology of doing what was expected and familiar. It's why he initially married Lori. The next step after dating a nice girl. Don't get him wrong, he had loved Lori. Loved her from the perspective of developing and youthful comfort. But as a fully grown man, he knew he met his match with Michonne.
No way around this would result in him walking away unscathed. Because it's what he deserved for returning to the barbershop with intrigue, want to and chocolates. But the longer he took the worse it would be. Rick was honestly grateful Morgan broached the subject because he had someone presumably in his corner now. But also, someone he trusted revealing his deepest fear to.
The timber of his voice lowered. "Michonne's been hurt repeatedly by the man that should've cared for her the most. What if she doesn't want to take a risk on me? On us?"
"Never seen you back down from a challenge."
"I know but-"
"How would you know if you don't try? Getting yourself into this predicament notwithstanding, you are one of the best men I know." Morgan smiled knowing his friend wouldn't easily except the compliment.
"You're a pretty persuasive guy when you want to be Rick. Have some faith in yourself."
Morgan gestured broadly around them. "Hell, this whole company began and continues to thrive because people believe in Rick Grimes."
Standing taller, Rick was brought back to another concern. "There's something else I'm worried about."
"What's that?"
"Robert Ridge inferred that his name is what got us the contract."
"As in Jessie's father. The Councilman?"
"Yep."
"He may have touted Grimes Construction before we arrived. But our reputation, proposal and craftsmanship are what shined. Our past projects, creating this one before their very eyes and hosting last night's event. That's what has gotten us this far. It's not something he can take away especially when money is filling bank accounts."
"That's true."
"I know it is."
"There's something I should've done when you all decided to redirect your lives for progress. That's what I wanted to talk to you and Reg about this morning."
And just in time, Reg swung the door open, walking in Rick's trailer chipper as ever. "Good Morning."
"I see you woke up on the right side of the bed." Morgan grinned.
"I did. Who knew the development event would become the perfect date night for Deanna and I."
Morgan and Rick knowingly eyed one another. "Really?"
"Really." Reg grinned with satisfaction. "And I think I've finally convinced my darling wife to run for a political seat."
"That would be tremendous. You know Deanna will have our full support." Rick assured.
"We'll post her campaign banners everywhere." Morgan seconded.
"Thank you." Reg beamed. "All we need are some clients interested in leasing our retail and office spaces."
"I have no doubt that's coming. We just need to be ready."
Morgan snickered. "You two haven't got a chance to check the company's emails, have you?"
"I was just about to before you started your introspective." Rick snickered.
"We've got leasing requests already." Morgan gleefully touted so they all smiled with relief.
"That's why I needed to talk to you two this morning…" Morgan and Reg stood to give Rick their full attention.
"I want you both to sign onto become my partners. We can work out the percentages and all that. But you've both more than earned it. What do you think?"
Rick nervously waited while Reg and Morgan glanced at one another.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. There's no two people I trust more with my business. I was thinking about creating divisions. Construction, property management and contracting."
"We could each head one, but you'd have the final say." Reg proposed.
"Sounds good. I'd probably promote Tobin too. He's really stepped up. Called it right about the timetables too." the men nodded in agreement.
"Jenny and I have some money saved up. We've been talking about starting a family now that the company has planted roots here."
"That's amazing Morgan."
"Not sure how much I'd have to buy in with. Have to discuss it with my Jenny but I don't think it'll be an issue."
"I'd need to talk it over with Deanna also. Thankfully, we had college funds for the boys. But we should be able to come up with an amount you feel comfortable with Rick."
"We can figure that out later. I will call up Yumiko today. Let her draw up the paperwork."
"So soon?"
"Once the leases get signed and new development contracts start to roll in, the proportion of the company's accrual will increase. I want you both to buy in before that for a quick turn on your investment. Yumiko will know better, but I suspect the increased revenue will help balance out the buy-ins."
"It should. But why the immediacy?" Reg further inquired still confused by the urgency.
Rick looked at Morgan who nodded for him to proceed.
"Remember when Deanna complimented my haircut…"
"Babe…"
"Michy…"
Michonne was fighting to remain where her spirit blissfully dwelled.
Sedated in a dream. An erotic dream.
All of the scenes were frustratingly not viewable to her. Glimpses teased her wildly. But the transcendent feelings were persistent.
Just licks and thrusts.
Pink smoothness and chestnut curls.
Whispers and caresses.
Dream Michonne was so close until a sudden voice in the distance uttered nicknames slowly rousing her. But she was almost there. She needed to remain in the fantasy to get her over the hump. Ignoring the voice that summoned her, she groggily muttered trying to reach the sweet pinnacle.
"Call me Chonne."
"Chonne?"
Her eyes shot open when the deep, concerned voice above wasn't the honey whiskeyed one she'd expected.
Instead, deep brown eyes stared down at her once relaxed position on the couch, startling her more. Her heart pounded and sweat began to bead on her forehead.
Mike took a seat on the edge of the sofa against her side. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"No, I'm fine." she glanced around confused by her location until recollection returned.
"You must be exhausted from the extra hours you've been pulling. Not to mention, this last-minute event."
"I didn't realize how tired I was either. I must've dozed off while watching tv." Another sleepy surveying afforded a method to skip past one reason for her new tiring activities.
"Where's Peanut?"
Mike opened his mouth, but the echo from the toilet flushing answered the question. Water running in the half bathroom was followed up with quick footfalls as their son skidded into the living room.
"I almost didn't make it!" Andre exclaimed, making his parents chuckle.
"Glad you did. But your father would've handled that cleanup." Michonne smirked at the snickering pair before her.
"Did you two have fun today?"
"We did. I had to make it up to Dre since he didn't get to come to work with me on his day off from school."
"It's okay. I had a great day at work with Mom, the other barbers and even the customers."
"You told me." Mike responded a bit tersely.
Michonne immediately grew nervy at the direction of the conversation. It would only generate further guilt in her besides the sexy dream her husband interrupted.
"Your friends came to get haircuts. And Aunt Sasha took you all to the park."
Andre elatedly smiled while nodding his head. Then plopped down, squishing himself between his parents, making his father scoot over.
"That's more than I would've been able to give you at my job that day. It was hectic."
"I figured." Andre snickered and looked conspiratorially at his mother. "That's where I got the idea to go to the museum. Just you and me."
"Really? Tyreese and the barbers finally gave you some good advice for once." Mike snorted dramatically.
Michonne acutely squinted at her husband not wanting to quarrel with him in front of their child. She let the first snide comment slide knowing there was no love lost between her husband and her friends. But she felt queasy when Andre cheerily responded.
"They always do, but I got the advice-"
Needing to jump in to interrupt, Michonne abruptly sniffed the air then her son. Balking at the burgeoning hormonal changes to his sweat glands was an easy deviation.
"Peanut, while I make dinner, you can take your shower. Wash that outside off of you."
Andre sniffed himself then chuckled in agreement with his mother. "Okay, but may I have a snack first?"
"Of course. Nothing with cru-"
"Crumbs upstairs."
The boy smiled impishly at his grinning mother who tickled him into jumping off the couch, out of her reach. Andre giggled while sprinting to the pantry for two packs of fruit snacks, tearing into one.
"Oh! Dad don't forget to call Uncle Terry back. He called you like a million times." Andre sighed exaggeratedly around his chomping.
"Thanks for reminding me." Mike smirked.
The proud parents watched their son toss the empty wrapper in the trash then jog up the staircase leaving them alone in the living room. Inching his way back in close to his wife with their son's wedge gone, Mike simpered.
"I forgot to thank you for handling the chores. The house smelled amazing when I walked in. I couldn't believe you even polished the dining room table again."
Trying her best to keep her face static while recalling the reason she had to polish the dining room table threatened to have Michonne stuttering. The prints of her body needing to be buffed away, or she would've had some explaining to do.
"I don't know how you find the time to fit so much in in one day."
Michonne guiltily chuckled remembering how she frantically raced through her house sanitizing each location her and Rick fucked in. "Me neither."
"You know what, I think you should get to relax and enjoy your day off for once. Maybe you and Sasha can go to a spa or something overnight."
Michonne started to protest if only from surprise, but her husband placed a silencing finger to her mouth.
"Don't worry, you can give me and Andre your list of chores. He can inspect my work and let me know what I missed." They both chuckled knowing how meticulous the boy already was, just like his mother.
"I'll start cleaning whatever Sunday morning you choose. Clean like my mom did with some oldies but goodies playing as motivation. You know a little Earth, Wind & Fire. Al Green. And of course, Teddy Pendergrass."
Mike inched closer, his eyes traveling over the bits of Michonne's exposed skin. His observation became wanton. "Now remind me, what you were telling me to call you?"
"Huh?" she played obtuse, knowing damn well what Mike was trying to start up.
"You whispered in your dream. Chonne was it?"
"I did?" Michonne rubbed her scalp and twisted her face up in faux distaste. "That's … weird."
Mike's face dropped from disappointment but recovered just as quickly. "How about we order pizza tonight? We can just relax together as a family."
"Uh, yeah. That actually sounds pretty good."
Michonne watched her husband's fingers slip onto her thigh, gently squeezing her flesh.
"Once Andre goes to bed, we can put on your old favorite, Love and Basketball. We can watch it here on the couch. Or maybe in our bedroom. Just the two of us."
Mike muttered, leaning near her ear. "I prefer Mich or Michy, but I can try calling you-"
His breath tickled her skin but caused the opposite effect than he intended. Michonne bounded from the sofa shocking her husband with the way she cast him off.
"Uhh, no. That's not necessary."
She made for the kitchen island, grabbing her cellphone.
"Let me order the pie. What do you want? Pepperoni? Sausage? Margherita? Should I get two? I'll get two." she rattled off while locating the menu in the junk drawer.
But Mike was undeterred, following her to the kitchen. He leaned over her shoulder to look at the printed selections as though he'd never heard of them before.
Michonne of course bathed when she got home from the development event last night. And again, this morning. But she could still swear she smelled Rick's sweet musky scent on her. He'd infused his essence into her chemistry, infiltrating her pores. She briefly wondered if she'd done the same with him.
Her husband hovered in sniffing distance and her head was in the clouds, hopelessly out of focus. As casually as Michonne could muster, she wiggled out from under him.
"Why are you running away from me?"
"I- I'm not. We've got to get the pizza delivered. Andre will be even hungrier when he comes back downstairs. Those fruit snacks are not going to hold him for long. And we both know how grumpy he gets when he's hungry."
Mike exhaled exasperatedly at her comedic deflections. "You are running from me. I know I've got a long way to go to earn your trust back but I'm trying. Maybe you don't see it yet. But I am."
Michonne breathed, not expecting Mike to press on past the rejection. She reluctantly turned to face him after glancing at the staircase. "I do see it, it's just that…"
"You said you wanted to work on our marriage. I'm trying to do just that, but you are holding back."
Mike's eyes implored while Michonne searched the depths of her mind to formulate a response that wouldn't result in loud bickering. Andre seemed to have had a great day with his father and any eruption would undo it all.
Plus, Michonne couldn't say another man had her captivated. Because try as she may, Rick was the first excuse she had for holding back with Mike. That kind of confession would implode their marriage on the spot. And she was unsure if the dissolution of her marriage was what she wanted right this moment.
Using her affair wouldn't be fair or a wholly truthful reason either. Diving deeper and being honest with herself and then her husband about the wedge driven between them was the treatment for their ills.
Before Rick came along, she wasn't interested in being touched. Kissed or even romantically embraced. Michonne wondered if she ever would again. Before Mike's most recent fuckup, she considered enduring his affections in hopes of growing comfortable again. But a blockage always arose when she attempted it.
No, Rick wasn't the reason for the wall between them. It was already up, and Mike supplied the bricks and mortar. Michonne once believed after a period of cooling off and therapy with honest conversations, they could work together to chip away at it.
To her shock, Mike started the work he long denied on his own. So, shouldn't she at least try to make her marriage work again? Rebuilding it was what she thought she wanted. What she expected just a few short weeks ago. But to do so, she'd have to deliver some hard truths to her husband, and she could start now. She took Mike deeper into the kitchen to widen their proximity from the staircase and kept her voice low.
"I don't mean to. Whenever you try to touch me… I think about the other women. What you did with them… was supposed to be just for me. I never would've imagined either of us being with someone else."
"I have needs too Michonne."
Michonne blanched, blinking at her husband several times. "Are you trying to blame your cheating on me?"
"No. No. That was not your fault. I mean now. I just miss you. I miss us."
Mike's head dropped and she witnessed the despair weighing down his muscular body as though it was too heavy a load for him to carry. His voice came out shakily and thick with emotion.
"I know I've said it so many times before but I'm sorry. More sorry than you can imagine. It's why I'm working so hard to fix me. So, I can fix us. Fix our family."
The cowering man looked up and a bit of disheartening flashed across his face. His wife stood tall, seemingly unaffected. The contemplative emotions Michonne once wore when he pleaded his case in the past would be readily displayed in her discontented yet delicate features.
The heartache. The embarrassment. The betrayal. Even the anger alerted him of her care and willingness to fight. It gave him hope that his words had meaning even if she had to convince herself of them.
But Michonne's face showed something different. Pity.
She watched a panic wash over Mike before his following appeal came out with jitters.
"I made so many mistakes Michonne. I have so many regrets. No woman has ever meant more to me than you. I should have put time and effort into us. Instead, I got caught up in the ego boost and aspirations offered foolishly."
Mike stepped forward, reaching out to take her hand but held back from making contact. His sorrowful eyes beseeching as he continued.
"We have history. And the future we dreamed of can still come true. All that was… temporary lust, thrill and excitement. That comes easy with a new person, but it doesn't last. It's just an escape."
It felt as though a dagger struck Michonne's chest nearly knocking the wind from her. She'd pushed away the mounting guilt that made her question whether she was also caught in a fantasy with Rick.
She'd always assumed Mike engaged in flings, not caring whether they made her feel as though he didn't give a fuck about her or their son anymore. But what if he experienced something stronger with any of the women, he'd cheated on her with. Had he considered abandoning the relationship when he'd gone missing. Because every time she was with Rick that's how she was beginning to feel.
But Mike would sheepishly return proclaiming he realized those trysts were flights of fancy and their marriage mattered the most. That his vows could be restored with granted time and forgiveness. That long-held faith kept Michonne in a limbo of consideration. That was until a man sauntered into the barbershop.
What if everything with Rick was simply lustful? What if it was only the thrill? The excitement. The raging heat. A taboo meant to satisfy her seclusion. Or some buried alter ego of hers finding opportunity to rear its ugly head to live out a fictional fantasy. Meant to eventually fizzle, leaving her wishing she'd worked on her marriage.
Relationships weren't just about the easy parts. Marriages weren't only about the pretty, tidy portions. They were about persevering through the harder times with compromise and understanding. About commitment. About sticking to the rivers and the lakes one was used to.
Refreshed emotions swayed towards Rick. But duty caught her in its clutch. There were too many varied questions bombarding Michonne in her kitchen while her husband miserably pled his case.
"Give me the chance to show you I can fix this. I just need an opportunity to repair the wrong that I've done."
Mike all but begged until Michonne tormentedly sighed. Maybe she owed it to herself to give it one last chance then she could at least say she fought for it, even if it ultimately failed.
"Whichever one of the guys told Dre we should spend more time together was right. We should. Let's have a family outing. The three of us. The way we used to. Beginner steps to rebuilding our bond and trust. We know Andre's open to it."
Michonne looked towards the staircase to make sure it was still empty. Then she leaned into mutter, but her conviction was firm to drive home her point.
"Don't let Andre open back up to you, for you to disappoint him again."
"I won't-"
"No. Think about what that really means for his wellbeing and development. You are Andre's first mirror of manhood. You must guard his heart before you worry about yourself."
Mike swallowed hard before proceeding. "My therapist has been speaking to me about not running from my consequences. Or expecting others to forget them because it makes me uncomfortable. I know it will be difficult and Andre hasn't opened up to tell me how he really felt but when he does, I'll listen. I will."
"Heartbroken. Confused. Angry. Sad. And abandoned."
Mike rebounded as though he was being physically struck but Michonne went on. "You don't have to wait for him to broach the subject. You're the adult. Sit him down for a heart to heart. And you have to more than listen Mike. Without pride or explanation, you have to digest it."
He nodded cautiously while Michonne exhaled her frustrations out.
"You make the plan. Nothing big. Just keep it local. A jumping off point…" Mike started to move in closer, but Michonne raised a hand halting his steps.
"I'm not saying it will work. I'm saying we can see if we can even be fixed." Again, Mike was dismayed but he smartly didn't interrupt.
"Andre always comes first. But I'm beginning to remember me. What I want. What I need. What I deserve. I'll have to determine what that looks and feels like now. And if this marriage can still provide it."
Mike stood stupefied by his wife's declaration but nodded his compliance. Michonne casually returned to the kitchen island, picking up her cellphone. She then glanced at her husband, still stuck in his spot.
"Now, what pizza toppings do you want?"
"Mom, I'm going to show Carl our favorite part." Sam excitedly announced and even Ron perked up to tug at his friend, Mikey.
"Go ahead boys. Rick and I are right behind you."
"Now I'm curious as to what's got Sam and Ron excited."
"I can't wait to show you."
Jessie grinned at Rick as they walked through the bird exhibit at the zoo. Ahead was a specifically designed darkened section. Enclosed behind plexiglass and perched in abundant foliage, Rick spied the glowing eyes of owls.
"Oh, so that's why you suggested we come here today. You and the boys are still working on that sculpture in your garage?"
"We are."
"So, I'm right. You needed to take some notes." Rick joked.
"Ha ha, very funny." Jessie playfully shoved him.
"What was it? You still needed some help with? Oh, right- the eyes."
"You haven't gotten a good look at it in a while."
"Uh, yeah it's probably because of the lack of eyes."
They both giggled and she wrapped her owl tattooed arm around his waist as they began to stroll. Rick looked at the physical connection and it troubled him in a way it shouldn't with one's girlfriend. Yet another blearing sign.
"Some of the things you enjoy are… questionable." he snickered, and Jessie balked.
"Like what?" Rick started to speak but she cut him off. "I already know you are going to say owls. What else you got?"
"Twelve other things at least."
"Really? Tell me one."
"The Bee Gees!"
"The Bee Gees are cool."
"In doses. Served thirty-some-odd years ago."
Jessie's jaw dropped and she began to pinch Rick's side making him snicker while successfully getting away.
"Ahh. Soft rock and disco were great musical eras!"
"They were. They are. It's the only reason you convinced me into letting you make a personalized ringtone for you."
"I bet you smile whenever you hear it." Rick's amusement died down because lately it was quite the opposite. Luckily, Jessie took it as the natural culmination of his laughter and smiled contently while they observed the nocturnal birds.
"This is what we were both looking for."
"Hmm…"
Jessie giggled, knowing Rick was confused. "Ordinary life like before."
That statement troubled Rick further. Because it was once what he wanted. A return to the norm he previously existed in. But now, he knew there was so much more to be had.
'If you take some time and think about pulling that bandage off. You just might find that that wound has healed underneath. There will be a scar, but it's lessened with time and care.'
Morgan's words circled in his ears. Reminding him that he was unintentionally stringing Jessie along during his process. This day out was meant to help ease into the difficult conversation. But Jessie saw it as an idyllic outing to get back on track, making it awkward.
Rick's initial instinct to break up immediately after sex with Michonne may have been for the best. But he second guessed himself thinking maybe it was pure lust that would fade away. Regardless, he should've confessed, providing his girlfriend with the information letting her make an informed decision. But knowing now what his feelings for Michonne had become, he was selfishly glad he hadn't. Jessie would've undoubtedly wanted to work through it. He would've remained out of guilt filled obligation and ignorance to how much Michonne would come to mean to him.
Just this once would've meant just that once.
Or maybe the persistent pull to Michonne would have won out in any circumstance. That their paths were fated to cross. The severity of fallout the only difference. And for it to be as minimal as it could currently be, Rick needed to push through implementing the angstiest part.
Eventually Rick, Jessie and the children continued walking to exit the bird enclosure and came upon the wild encounters area. Carl and Sam's eyes lit up seeing the signs for available experiences with elephants, lemurs and warthogs.
"Can we feed the lemurs?" Carl asked animatedly with Sam bouncing behind him.
"Sure." Rick smiled prompting Jessie to ask the other boys too.
"Ron. Mikey. Do you two want to see the lemurs also?"
"If I wanted to be by something stinky, I'd jump on Mikey's back." Ron quipped at his friend's expense but they both laughed and jostled one another.
"Well, what do you two want to do?"
"Find a bathroom."
"Yeah, I shouldn't have drunk that whole coke on the way in." Mikey began to twist and turn inducing Ron to repeatedly poke his sides and stomach.
"Okay, let's take you to the bathroom then we can come back."
All the kids instantly huffed their frustration.
"But Mom. The line isn't that long for the lemurs right now." Sam whined.
"I'm old enough to go to the bathroom without you." Ron chimed in, rolling his eyes.
"Fine. Straight to the nearest bathroom then come back here."
To distract himself from the unassertive and excusive manner in which Jessie dealt with Ron, Rick pulled out some cash, handing it to his son. "Get a ticket for you and Sam. Jessie and I will stay right here where we can see you. Just in case you need us."
"Thanks Dad." Carl's delighted smile soothed his father.
"Let's go Carl." Sam excitedly yanked him forward, ready to take flight.
"Sam don't run!" Jessie shouted but it was too late, the boys weaved between the zoo's patrons headed for the queue. She watched Ron and Mikey depart then turned back to Rick.
"I'm glad we got to do this."
"With everything going on, I know I haven't-" Rick debated on how to gently phrase his feelings. "I- I just thought it might be best if I let things be for a while."
But Jessie brushed off the admission he was trying to make. "You've been so busy lately. And that will only increase now that everyone's in awe of how quickly you're building the city center."
"Yeah. It's a lot of work but I'm looking forward to it all. It's what every one of my employees strived for."
"I'm glad you found it in my town."
Rick smiled back at Jessie but knew that may change soon enough. "I did want to thank you for working the floor while I was still getting warmed up." No pun was intended on Rick's part.
"Anything to help. The event went so well. Your team mixing and mingling with their wives. I saw you making your rounds with the head of the design firm. Glenn?" Rick nodded confirmation.
"You must've gotten caught up in the act because I lost you for a while. Where'd you go?"
Rick chewed his lip knowing a full confession of what he'd been up to wasn't for the best right now. "Just fooling about. Making sure everything was running smoothly. Then meeting others, I guess. Mrs. Neidermeyer cornered me at one point. Kept talking about how much she loves to make homemade pasta."
"Yes. Store bought is not enough for her." they chuckled before stepping over to a quieter section that still granted them a view of the boys.
Jessie coyly smiled. "I know our night got cut short from exhaustion and- whiskey."
Rick snickered through his unease.
"But I was hoping since you agreed to having this outing so soon that you might be willing to come back to my place." she batted her eyelashes. "Tonight?"
Rick exhaled deeply, taking in their surroundings to get his bearings. "Jessie, I know this isn't the right time or place. But we should talk. We need to talk."
"We can do that tonight. Discuss how we get back on track after..."
"Jessie, that's the thing. I don't know if-"
"Mr. Rick!"
Suddenly, a child collided with him from what he could only assume was a full sprint. Shocked was not enough to describe how Rick felt but happiness equally encompassed him seeing Andre. He tightly hugged the child in return before the boy issued a brief and respectful wave at an uncomfortable Jessie.
"What are you doing here?" Rick asked the obvious question before optimistically searching the crowd.
"My dad and I just got off the skyride." Andre pointed then coyly grinned. "But my mom is here too."
Rick could only hope his elated flush wasn't abundantly noticeable.
"She went to get a funnel cake. Because she doesn't do heights." Andre snickered amusedly. "We are going to meet her by the reptile house."
Rick chuckled then spotted Mike searching through the crowd for his runaway child. Once he located Andre, he began to walk in their direction but suddenly faltered to a stop. Rick instantly grew nervous when a recognition overtook the man's face. He could only hope it was from the barbershop visit and not that he'd figured out what was going on between he and Michonne. He wasn't sure what to do but hope that it was because Mike found his child with a man who seemed vaguely familiar.
"Where's Carl?" Andre drew Rick's attention back to him.
"He's online for the lemur encounter with Sam, just over there." Rick indicated watching Andre's eyes light up. Mike also turned to see the boys waving to his son from the queue. When he pivoted back, Rick tentatively raised a hand as a greeting and Mike did the same allowing them both to relax slightly.
"That looks cool. I did the elephant one when I was a kid."
"You still are a kid." they comfortably chuckled together.
"Tell you what…" Rick fished in his pocket for some more cash and handed it over to the delighted boy. "… you go join them after, you let your father know first."
"Thanks Mr. Rick!" Andre promptly hugged him again. Then waved at stunned silent Jessie, who Rick nearly forgot was present through this whole exchange, before dashing off.
Rick watched to make sure Andre informed and got approval from his father on his desired destination. Mike looked to be chastising his son about running off without warning. But the two began to walk over to the animal attractions area together. Andre shouted for Carl and Sam as he politely weaved himself through the line to meet the excited youngsters.
Rick's heartbeat began to regulate. He could only assume one of two things. Either Mike didn't know about him and Michonne or he didn't want to cause a scene in from of his son. Regardless, Rick could feel the tension coming from the woman at his side. He was almost scared to look at her face for fear of what emotion would be displayed. But when he finally did, he was left a bit confused. Jessie wore a subtly devious look but dropped it rapidly to observe the boys entering the attraction as they were next in line.
"I want to get some pictures of Sam and Carl with the lemurs."
"Sure, let's go over." Rick swallowed hard beginning to take a step.
"No." Jessie abruptly grabbed his arm surprising him until she relaxed her grip.
"Ron and Mikey haven't come back from the bathroom yet. Maybe you can go find them and we can meet back at the primate's enclosure."
Rick was perplexed knowing his relationship with Ron was strained. Jessie once admonished him for trying to discipline him in the past. Therefore, sending him alone to seek out the boy was odd.
On the other hand, it would keep him from being in closer vicinity to the man whose wife he was sleeping with. "Okay, I'll meet you guys there as soon as I find them."
He waved at Carl, Andre and Sam before heading off to the restrooms denoted on a nearby directional post. Another plank of wood with an arrow caught Rick's eyes fostering his deep-down desire.
Reptiles
But he carried on with the task at hand, finally arriving at the nearest bathrooms. Rick didn't see the boys outside and ventured in. Calling their names to no avail, he exhaled deeply, realizing he'd have to search for them. Back outside, he increased his pace keeping his eyes peeled for the boys while journeying through the zoo.
The reptilian zone being darker for atmosphere meant it was normally a less hectic area of the public zoo. Michonne bet on this and was correct. After purchasing a funnel cake, she found an empty bench to sit and enjoy her dessert on. She blissfully sighed at the start of her first couple bites and relaxed. Then she found herself grinning while the morning's humorous conversations between her son, husband and herself replayed. The funniest being the one right before Mike and Andre went off to ride the aerial tramway.
"Oh yeah Dad, I know what pedestrian means now. Lacking inspiration or excitement. Dull."
Michonne laughed at Mike's dropped face, but Andre scratched his head as they strolled.
"I thought you played a bunch of sports in college?"
"I did. That's why that description never made any sense."
"Oh no, it did." Michonne shrugged.
"How Mama?"
"Yeah, how?" Mike seconded and she chuckled trying to figure out how to relay her twenty-year-old feelings to their child tactfully.
"I was unmoved by your father's reputation. I heard about him and his charms all over campus."
Mike flushed and jumped in to oppose the way he was being depicted. "But I knew your mother was not like other girls I dated. She was special. I had to prove I could be different with her. For her."
"Did you?"
"She married me, didn't she?" Mike chuckled.
"She had my baby boy." Andre smiled warmly from the adoration shining in his parents' eyes while they looked down at him.
"But… I'm hoping your Mama lets me show her I can be different again." Mike smiled at his son then stared longingly at his wife.
Before departing for college, Michonne broke up with her high school boyfriend. It made sense, they were going to be states away at their respective colleges. And a long-distance relationship wasn't an option either looked forward to. She planned to concentrate on her studies and not get caught up in the party life on campus, so she swore off relationships too. That was until she inadvertently caught the attention of a prominent jock.
With time, Mike revealed his gentle, sweet and romantic side. A balance to his funny, adventurous and licentious side. His focus on goals and determination were obscured from most. But once he shared that side, it's what ultimately won Michonne over. The remnants, keeping her in limbo till this very day.
"Oh, there's the entrance for the skyride!"
Avoiding the mortification of his father making eyes at his mother in front of him, Andre busied himself by looking to the upcoming area until a shadow passed above. He captivatedly exclaimed while pointing the line out.
"You know I'm not getting up on that thing. It's been here since the zoo opened. But I'm sure your father would love to take you up there." Michonne smirked at a snickering Mike as their son began to tug at his arm.
"Let's go Dad."
"Alright, alright. Wait a minute. Let me talk to your mother first."
Andre not so patiently waited while watching the other gondolas in the sky.
"Where should we meet up?"
"I'm going to get a funnel cake and find a bench in the shade near the reptile section."
"Okay. We'll meet you there… if we survive." Mike looked at the cars going over the tower connectors knowing the bumps in the ride they created.
"Good luck." Michonne joked and watched Andre dragging his father through the crowd.
Giggling to herself, Michonne took another bite of her fluffy cake. However, she could swear she heard an all too familiar tapping on the concrete. But she had to be mistaken.
She quickly wiped her mouth then slowly turned around to instantly lock astonished eyes. The cowboy boots halted suddenly causing people behind to nearly crash into Rick.
"Sorry." he apologized while still hesitating to take another step forward. He peered around just as Michonne did before sauntering over to stand next to her bench. A bright, mischievous grin on his face.
"How many times a day do you brush? Because with the amount of sweets you eat, your teeth should be hanging on by a thread."
"I'll have you know. I brush twice a day. I gargle and floss also. And I don't eat sweets every day." she playfully chided him while leisurely looking him over. Tight jeans and a plaid shirt just did something to her nowadays.
"Spearmint?" Rick threw out.
"And baking soda. Those are my favorites." Then Michonne tipped her head to the side. "How did you-"
Rick devilishly smirked while his eyes lowered to her mouth before he licked his lips. A somersaulting uterus made Michonne wish she'd purchased a beverage to cool herself down with.
"What are you doing here?" she managed to ask while he ogled her bare legs.
Her denim shorts weren't too short for a family establishment. But she had ditched her combat boots for hiking ones and threw on her favorite alt band's sweatshirt that nevertheless distracted.
"Rick?"
"I'm here with Carl…" he froze for a second, his face pained. "And Jessie and her boys."
He saw the gleam dull in her eyes before providing further details. "I just ran into Andre up close… and Mike from a distance."
Nervousness was etched on her face, so Rick stepped closer to mutter.
"I was initially worried he might've figured things out."
Michonne pondered the possibility. "I don't think I've given him a reason to question anything."
"Well, they are over at the lemur experience now. Andre joined Carl and Sam in line. I agreed to look for Ron and Mikey, who should've been in the nearest bathroom. But they weren't so here I am half jogging through the zoo." Rick rambled while Michonne took in all the information.
"I'm happy to see you." Rick anxiously whispered and Michonne bashfully smiled.
"Me too."
"I know we don't have the time right now. But our conversation… got cut off. I'd really like to finish it."
"Yeah." Michonne softly muttered but Rick was skeptical.
"Yeah? Soon?"
Michonne nodded in return. "Soon."
Smiling like two lovesick teenagers for a bit longer, the pair remained until reality sent exuberant kids to run by, jostling them.
"I- I should really get back to my hunt."
"You should."
They both yearned to provide some physical form of affection before Rick departed but, knew they couldn't in broad daylight. The lock of their wanting eyes was the best they could get away with. And they did so even as Rick gradually backed away, nearly colliding with someone once again.
Michonne coquettishly chuckled while he turned around to apologize, then head in the direction he was originally going. Glancing back a few times, Rick maintained the warmth in her heart. Until he halfheartedly rounded a corner, and she could no longer see him.
Rick had to get his head out of the clouds. The high from a not so unexpected sighting of Michonne needed to take a momentary backseat because he was becoming concerned. He didn't see either Ron or Mikey as he continued the pathways. After another minute, he pulled his phone out and dialed Jessie.
"I still can't find them. I've gone all the way to the giraffes."
"Oh, I should've called you. They came back not too long after you went off."
"What? Why didn't you?"
"Sorry, the boys came out of the lemur meeting. Then I suggested they ride the gondolas together. But they should be off any minute now."
Rick halted his steps. "Well, where should I meet you all?"
"The primate house as planned."
"I'm on the way." He hung up a little perturbed by Jessie's failure to contact him. But he started back, taking the trail that he knew would swing him by Michonne's bench. He needed his mood regulator as Morgan called her.
"Mom, you missed it! A lemur climbed on my shoulder! And I saw Carl and Sam… and Mr. Rick! They said to tell you, Hi."
"You did?" Michonne feigned surprise as her animated son came hopping before her. His father trailed behind with a pensive face that had her wrestling her nerves under control to concentrate.
"Yep. And now I'm even more excited about our next campout."
"I nearly forgot about that." Michonne playfully grimaced.
"Mom, you can't forget. It's probably our last time sleeping outside before it gets too cold."
"Don't worry, I've got it marked on my calendar. But tell me about this lemur."
Andre smiled gleefully. "Mr. Rick brought my tickets to meet the lemurs and to go on the skyride a second time! My best friend's dads are so cool."
"That was nice of Mr. Rick." Was all Michonne could manage without stuttering but, fortunately Mike chimed in out of self-consciousness.
"Hey, I'm a pretty cool dad myself. And I would've paid for you too." He looked around anxiously. "I should probably pay him back."
"Maybe we'll run into them again." Andre smiled hopefully while Michonne's stomach dropped to its lowest depth, but she addressed Mike.
"I'm sure it's fine. We cover any activities when the boys are with us."
"Yeah, you're right." Mike sighed as if he was relieved, but Andre still bounced before them.
"It was so much fun just now. Petting a lemur and riding the tram with Carl and Sam. I wanted to stay with them longer, but Dad reminded me we left you waiting."
The last person Michonne wanted her child around was the woman that barged in her job to confront and attempt to demean her. At the development event, Jessie wisely kept a wide berth from her which she found both humorous and wise. But right now, Michonne had to keep her response unaffected for two reasons.
"Oh, I was fine. I was devouring my funnel cake with fudge on top."
"Aww, I thought you'd save me some?"
Michonne chortled at her pouting son. "Your cool dad can take you to get one now."
Mike squinted at her then dryly laughed. He glanced around even though the refreshment area was plain to see. But Michonne directed him towards the specific booth and watched him take Andre by the shoulders.
"We'll be right back."
"Grab me a coke, please and thank you."
Michonne inhaled deeply once they departed. Even if it was minute, she sensed the shift in her husband's mood. Rick said they'd seen each other from a distance. And Mike had no reason to be aware of Rick other than him being the father of their son's new best friend. They'd only seen one another once for a few moments in the barbershop when he waltzed in unpredictably. Yet Mike seemed wary.
Assuming it must've been all in her guilt-ridden head was all Michonne could come up with. Her own thoughts and anxieties getting the best of her. Figuring situations like this were bound to occur the longer she kept this affair going, didn't stop her from being caught off guard.
And the overwrought moments wouldn't be stopping any time soon either. Retracing his steps, Rick without any children in sight was headed her way. Michonne's stomach crammed with sugar and dough flipped, inducing her to stand.
Rick easily found her in the crowd and beamed once more. But rapidly noticed the look of apprehension on her face. Michonne glanced at the funnel cake line then back to him. His eyes retraced her line of sight. When they returned to hers, he slightly nodded his understanding of the precarious situation.
Walking as nonchalantly as he could muster until the pull was too strong when nearing Michonne. She'd began to leisurely stroll towards the entrance of the reptile enclosure that coincidentally led right onto Rick's course.
It was just for a second or two. But as they passed one another they briefly and secretly touched the other's hand. The gentle caress had to be enough to hold them over. They were behaving as though they were in some romantic trope about star-crossed lovers. But the brief contact soothed some of the overwhelming angst of their unique predicament.
Michonne went on to enter the building. While Rick pivoted up the hill just in time to see Carl and Sam had already turned the corner. Jessie, Ron and Mikey rounded the bend shortly after. Thankfully Mike and Andre were in the midst of ordering, missing the exchanges.
Reunited with his group, Rick kept them moving down the path towards their intended destination. And took a deep breath of relief while his heart ached to be somewhere else.
Peeking out the entrance, Michonne found the coast clear. Andre joyfully munched on his treat while his father carried a souvenir mug and napkins.
"Thanks." she eagerly reached out for the beverage and took a long sip of ice-cold soda.
"You're welcome." Mike grinned and ushered them inside the reptile house. Michonne noticed he was scoping out the darkened surroundings just before Andre skipped ahead to get a better look at the alligators through the glass.
"I know Andre is currently filling his stomach with sugar." Mike awkwardly snorted. "But we should leave in a little while to get some real food."
"Or… we should probably let him run around and burn some of the sugar off."
Michonne lightly chuckled, not wanting to make it seem as though she were in a rush to leave. But the preoccupied look on her husband's face only heightened her jitters and they couldn't be ignored. She certainly didn't want him to confront her on a family outing but walking on eggshells the rest of the day wasn't ideal either.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Just a little tired. Why?"
"You just seem… out of sorts suddenly?"
Mike fidgeted. "Andre ran off from me once today over to Carl's father. Just trying to keep an eye on him."
Michonne glanced at their son who chatted with some children near the plexiglass. "Did you talk to him about running off?"
"Yeah, I did."
Michonne sighed. "But that's all?"
"Yeah… I'm probably hungry too. But look, I want to thank you for agreeing to this. And we can stay longer if you both want."
"Just a little while then we can go."
"No problem." The couple strolled on, following their son's lead over to the snake lair.
"Matter of fact, you never told me how the event you attended went."
"You didn't ask."
"Well… I'm asking now."
Michonne knew this would be another touchy subject, but she didn't care. Attending the event pushed her dream away from possibility and further into certainty. She wouldn't let Mike dampen her enthusiasm.
"I saw a space that would be perfect for my salon."
"Wait, I thought you went to get your feet wet?"
"I did and now I've decided to jump in."
"Mich, it's going to be a lot of work starting a business."
"It's a good thing I have a bachelor's in business management." she reminded him. "Anything worth having will require hard work. I'm not willing to put my dreams on the back burner any longer."
"But-"
"Time for me to turn off autopilot."
"What does that mean?" Mike raised an eyebrow and Michonne contemplated.
"Andre begins middle school soon. Before we know it, he'll be off to college. I'm ready to begin taking control of the trajectory of my life once more."
"Mich, this is going to cost-"
"I've been rolling over the money my dad left me into five-year CD's with the bank. The last one will hit maturity soon which means no penalty to withdraw. It's perfect timing. I have an appointment with my personal banker regarding small business loans. But I'm planning on applying for a few grants also."
"You've really thought this through and done the research." Mike stood dumbfounded.
"I have."
"I'm just worried this could put even more stress on us while we work on our marriage."
Michonne chose her words carefully. "I've put things I've wanted on the backburner waiting for the right time for too long. Remembering that before I was a wife and a mother, I was Michonne. A woman with her own aspirations."
"I get that but-"
"I can't put all my contentment off on you or anyone else. You got to do what you wanted and now I'm doing this for me."