. . . of a Pair of World-Class Nerds

Dexter cast a steely-eyed look over his hand of mismatched cards, considering his next move - and his opponent - with care.

"I move my Derek Jeeter repro rookie card from defense to attack mode. I'm going to power him up with Pikachu, raising his batting average by one hundred, making him stronger than your Fluttershy the Queen of Hearts Disney combo creature. Derek, sic the pony. Electric slide attack."

"Activate face-down card!" exclaimed Ben. "You just triggered my 1980 Empire Strikes Back trading card."

"Red border?"

"Yeee-up."

Dexter growled. "Not an AT-AT?"

"Nope. You just pissed off my Wampa, dude. His hair absorbs your attack and my pony queen is safe."

"Jerk," muttered the younger boy as the trap was waved in his face by an insufferably smug Ben10.

"Better a Wampa than Princess Leia."

"Mmm. I place two cards face down and end my turn. Uno," he added quickly, displaying his one remaining card.

Ben drew from the mix of cards in the box beside them, adding an old maid card of a cat to his hand, which was a mess of tarot, sports, game, and various movie and cartoon collectable cards. "I play my generic forest elf archer guy in attack mode. I'm going to accessorize him with a three of swords and a cat," he said, stacking the cards before him. "Archer, attack Derek Jeeter. Catapult hairball airborne whammy."

"Uh-uh," Dexter protested smugly. "You activated my St. Michael the Archangel trap. For the bargain price of two cookies, he automatically smites anything and everything with pointy ears that's attacking my side of the field." He turned over a plastic-coated prayer card and tossed it on top of Ben's stack of cards. "Kiss your elf and your cat goodbye. And your get out of jail free card won't work on anything laminated."

Ben snagged a surrendered cookie. "Hey! St. Michael only works on a Sunday!"

"Unless I have an odd number of cards in my hand."

Ben threw down a Magicarp collector's sticker. "I activate my go fish trap. Ha! It forces you to pick up another card. Go fish, kiddo."

Dexter obeyed, rooting around in the box of odd cards and playing pieces Ben had found in the lobby of DexLabs Headquarters. Having no idea who owned the jumbles mess and not wanting to delay his visit with Dexter by turning it in to DexLabs' lost and found just yet, Ben had brought it to the lab and an impromptu game of ad hoc Duel Monsters had broken out.

"Ha back! I drew the deed to Boardwalk. I can play it as soon as I draw it. That automatically ends your turn and sends you a bill. Still uno card, so read it and weep, Tennyson."

"Meh. I'm still in the lead. Just go."

Dexter drew another card and saw his opportunity. "I'm going to sacrifice my Derek Jeeter in order to summon Megatron to the field in attack mode."

"Megatron can't attack anything pink," claimed Tennyson, waving at his pony.

"Then I'll activate his special ability to destroy one of the cards in your hand." He leaned over and plucked a card from Ben's grasp and tossed it to the graveyard. "I end my turn."

Ben glared, drawing a card without looking. "Ooooh! A rare black Uno card. This forces us both to draw until we have five cards, only you lose a hundred points for each card. That puts you two hundred points in the hole."

"Oh, you just made that up!"

"We're making the whole bloody thing up, Dex!"

"That might have worked if I hadn't activated my other face-down card first."

"You did not."

"Did so."

"Not."

"So."

"Not."

"So. I was thinking it loudly. Anyway, I activate my Mirror Force trap card. It bounces your attack back at you."

"Uno cards don't attack. They're magic."

Dexter adjusted their scores on the paper at the edge of the table. "Well, I feel attacked, so it counts."

"Fine. I put this weird dragon-thing on the field in defense mode and end my turn."

Reaching into the box, Dexter drew a four-sided di from among the cards he was adding to his hand. "Score! It's red. That means I get to roll to see how many cards I draw. Two!" He rooted around the box again, pulling out a card and a game piece before tossing the di back in for future use.

"I place one card face down and then I play my Monopoly battleship token in attack mode. Come at me, Tennyson. You're in the cross-hairs."

"I'd be shaking in my sneakers if only your battleship wasn't an inch long."

"Nobody insults my battleship and gets off scot free," swore Dexter. "I'm using my Polymerization magic card to combine my battleship and Megatron into . . . into . . . hold on, there's got to be something stupid in here I can use." He dug through the shoe box. "Ah-ha!" Triumphant, he held up a tassled book marker. "I combine them into the Space Cruiser Yamato!"

"No fair! That thing won't die!"

"Oh, it's as fair as anything in this game! Wave motion gun, destroy his weird dragon-thing! Sayonara, sucker!" He flicked Ben's monster aside, leaving him holding the field with just a pink pony against a space battle cruiser.

"Box of cards, guide me!" breathed the Wielder of the Omnitrix. Without looking, Ben chose a card, taking his time to look at it and producing an eye roll from his opponent at the over-dramatization. His satisfaction and smugness infected Dexter, and he knew the younger teen sensed his pending doom. He looked at the bowlful of M&M's at his side. "I'm going to bet ten red M&M's and lay a card face down, plus a face-down monster in defense mode."

"Have you taken leave of your senses and everything you learned from after school cartoons? You're going up against the most indestructible ship in the history of space exploration. I'll see your M&M's and raise you four Chips Ahoy."

"This duel's not over yet, Ginger Snap. I'll see your cookies and raise you five blue M&M's."

Dexter checked the communal bowl of chocolates. "We don't have enough blue left for that. You'll have to settle for eight green and two brown M&M's. I place one card face down. Bring it, Tennyson."

"You asked for it, kiddo." He flipped a card over. "I'm sacrificing my little pony to unleash Manny Ramirez. Whenever he's summoned in defense mode, I can automatically summon another sports card athlete from my hand. I'm calling Korbinian Holzer of the Anaheim Ducks." He threw down a hockey card. "Next up, I'm using Grave Robber to steal your Polymerization card so I can combine baseball player and my hockey player into Casey Jones."

Dexter knew he'd been outgunned and outmaneuvered. "You wouldn't!"

"Already did," Ben said smugly. "I've got more episodes and bad movies on my side than you do, Ginger Snap."

"Pfft. Their combined salaries alone would wipe out my life points."

"Yeah, well, to top it off, I'm powering him up with this Morbucks Coffee rewards card. Mr. Jones, high stick!"

Dexter slumped, accepting his defeat. "You sank my battleship."

Ben pushed the wagered cookies toward his best friend. Dexter took two and pushed the rest back.

"Play again?"

"Let's duel!"