Having a full stomach must've put TK into a daze, since he hadn't put up a fight when Owen took him home. Or maybe it was because he was saying all the right things so far. Enzo hadn't been able to keep his act up long at all, giving TK harsh looks as soon as his mom's back was turned. But even when Owen had TK completely at his mercy, he stayed the same. Was there a need to play the long game when you had total advantage?
"Now, don't judge the place too harshly. I am a bachelor after all," Owen said as they walked up the steps to the second floor apartment. Not too high that TK couldn't make a quick escape out the window, but it wouldn't be the most fun of a landing. "I never needed much space, so I went with a one bedroom."
"Judd didn't live with you?" TK asked, making note of all the exits they passed. There were a lot, which was probably something his firefighter father took into consideration when he chose this place.
"Judd got his own place when we came down here a few years ago. He'd already been living on his own for a while and Austin is a lot cheaper than New York," Owen shrugged, unlocking the door to his unit and pushing it open.
It was crazy to think they'd been so close for most of his life. That if TK had gotten brave and run away to them earlier, he might've missed a few years of the pain he endured. But he'd been so convinced that they hated him that it never felt like an option. And when he found out they'd moved to Texas, that had solidified his opinion of them.
TK hesitantly walked into the room, holding the straps of his backpack tightly. His dad hadn't been exaggerating when he said it was small, but it was amazing. The walls were a stark white, not yellowed by cigarette smoke. The furniture was clean and upright. The floors were sleek hardwood, not ratty carpet. There weren't piles of garbage strewn around. It looked like something out of a magazine.
"Wow," TK whispered, taking in everything. He surely had to be dreaming, because places like this didn't really exist. Not for him at least. He wandered over to a wall that had pictures hanging up, presenting the life he'd missed out on. There was Judd on his wedding day, standing next to his pretty bride. His dad presenting Judd with his firefighter helmet. The two of them standing in the middle of an empty station, looking up with hope in their eyes. All the people he'd seen earlier, standing around a big table with a cake on it. A perfect life that didn't include him.
But TK was there, in a cluster of pictures off to one side. Some similar to the ones in his dad's wallet, but also more. School portraits and holiday pictures with matching pajamas. TK could barely recognize himself in them. Had he really been that smiling, carefree kid once?
"Like I said, we never forgot about you," Owen said, stepping up to stand beside him, but not too close. His dad hadn't tried to touch him at all, which TK really appreciated. Did that mean he knew? TK was obviously standoffish, but was the true reason that easy to see? Did he have "abused kid" plastered across his forehead? Did he want that following him around forever? Did he want that tainting what could possibly be his fresh start? "God, I have so many things I want to ask you."
"There's nothing really worth mentioning," TK mumbled. His truth didn't fit in with this magazine lifestyle. What right did he have to come in and dirty up their world? His dad may have been happy to have his son back, but he wanted the version in the photographs. Not the one who knew what it was like to sleep in an alley and eat out of a dumpster. TK had to pretend to be who they wanted. If they found out he was unfixable, why would they bother with him?
"I really don't want to push you, but there is something I need to know," Owen said seriously, turning to face him. TK felt so small standing next to his dad. Not just because of the height difference, but because he was so much older. He was an adult who had power and TK was just a weak kid.
"Yeah?"
"Your mom?" Owen questioned. TK felt his hands go clammy. He wasn't ready to talk about her. What if his dad blamed him for her death? What if the thought of getting his wife back was the only reason TK was getting a chance? TK didn't see any signs of another relationship in the photos and his dad had called himself a bachelor, so did that mean he was holding out for a reconciliation with his mom?
"I- I, um-"
"You don't have to give me details yet, but does she know where you are? Should I expect to see her down here looking for you?"
"No," TK whispered, stifling a sigh of relief. If his dad pressed for the whole story, he wasn't sure he'd be able to give him a story he wanted to hear.
"I don't know if you remember what happened back then. God knows I relive it every day. And I don't know what your mom told you and don't want to speak ill of her, but I never wanted you out of my life. You got caught up in some adult issues and I'll never be able to apologize enough for it," his dad said sincerely.
"I remember being confused when things were different one day," TK said softly. He didn't want to tell his dad all the things his mom said about him, because it would only cause him pain. TK had already lived with it on his own, so there was no point in spreading it around. "I missed you and Judd, but the longer we were apart, the more I forgot. It felt normal being just with mom." Until everything went to hell.
"You were so young. Still are, actually. That makes sense," Owen nodded sadly, turning back to the wall of pictures. "I'd love to get some new photos of you up there. It would really make it feel complete."
"I don't like getting my picture taken," TK mumbled, remembering the rule his mom had hammered into his mind. Pictures meant a paper trail, which meant people could find you. He hadn't been allowed in school photos or on social media, just in case the wrong people saw his face. His mom had been adamant that it was for his protection, but he knew better now. It was still a habit to refuse though.
"Okay. That's okay. Having the real thing is better anyway," Owen assured him. TK was sure that was true for some people. It was easier to take out your frustrations on a person, instead of a picture. Hopefully that wasn't where his dad's mind went as well.
TK yawned behind his fist, feeling the weight of the day lying heavily over him. Even with the nap earlier, he was still exhausted. And the full meal was making him feel like those people he saw on TV after eating Thanksgiving dinner, lounging around in their living room with their hands on their stomachs. It was so different from the growls that usually accompanied him to sleep.
"I think it's probably time to go to bed. I don't have a guest room, but you can take-"
"The couch is fine," TK said, cutting him off.
"Really, I don't mind-"
"I'll take the couch. Thank you," TK said, a bit more firmly this time. There was no way he was going to sleep in someone else's bed. The station was different, since that was a shared space. But it would be too easy for someone else to slide into the bed after TK fell asleep, claiming there was enough room. And then it would be an accidental brush or bump. And waking up pressed together. And that was only if the other person felt like being careful about it. His dad could decide that the stupid facts about himself weren't enough and take payment however he wanted. They were alone in his apartment with no one to stop him.
"TK, calm down." TK snapped his eyes up toward his dad, finding him standing there with his hands raised and his eyes wide. TK hadn't realized he started breathing heavily and he probably looked like a crazy person. He forced himself to regain control, biting the inside of his cheek to give himself something to focus on.
"Sorry," TK whispered, feeling his face burn with shame. He was too much trouble and that was going to be the reason they would get rid of him. All the love that they had for his younger self wouldn't be enough to deal with who he was now. It was just a matter of time before he was on his own.
"No, I'm sorry. If that's a boundary, I'm going to respect it," Owen replied, trying to smile at him. It was strained and seemed forced, but TK didn't see any anger. His dad could be good at hiding it though, so he wouldn't let his guard down. "Would you like to borrow something to sleep in?"
"No, thank you," TK said softly, hanging his head in embarrassment.
"How about you stop off at the bathroom while I get the couch ready for you. It's right down the hall. Can't miss it," Owen suggested, nodding his head in that direction. TK turned and walked off, appreciating the chance to get a moment to himself after his latest mistake. He shut the door firmly behind him once he got inside the room, wishing there was a lock on it. There weren't any on the knobs he passed, besides the useless kind you could open with a coin. Part of him was relieved that he couldn't be locked in somewhere, but that meant he also couldn't lock anyone out.
TK did his business, then splashed some water on his face. If he looked at everything objectively, this day couldn't have gone better for him. He'd been accepted back into his family with basically no questions asked. The questions were still looming over him like a dark cloud, but he wasn't being pushed to answer them yet. And no one had put their hands on him in anger or any other way.
But how long would it take for TK's worries to go away? Would there ever be a point in time where he could say that he completely trusted his family and relax? Right now, it didn't feel like a day would ever be possible. Not with what TK knew about the world. He ached for the naivety to be able to put his trust into another person, but it had been snuffed out long ago. And he didn't think it would ever come back.
TK walked quietly back into the living room, finding his dad fluffing up a pillow on the couch. He'd laid out a sheet over it, then placed a stack of thick blankets on one end. It looked like the most comfortable thing TK had ever seen in his life.
"I hope this is okay. I've taken a few naps on this couch after a long shift, so I know it's not terribly uncomfortable. We'll get the permanent sleeping arrangements sorted soon enough," Owen said, fluttering around the space to keep busy.
"This is great, thank you," TK said politely.
"I'm just in that room over there," Owen said, pointing toward his bedroom. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. No matter the time."
"Okay," TK agreed, knowing full well that even a catastrophic event wouldn't be enough for him to do that. Owen wrung his hands a little bit, hesitating like he wanted to say more, but in the end he just smiled and walked to his bedroom.
"Good night, TK," Owen said softly, giving him a short wave before walking into the bedroom and swinging the door shut behind him. He stopped it before it closed all the way, leaving it open just a crack. TK blew out a long breath, relieved to have finally reached the end to this day. It felt like he'd been going nonstop ever since Enzo's car crashed and changed his life forever. All he wanted to do was nothing for a few hours.
TK toed off his shoes and set them next to the couch, just in case he needed to make a quick getaway. He laid down with his backpack nestled against his stomach, letting the feel of it comfort him. The couch was just as soft as he thought it would be and he sank down into the cushions. His fatigue was winning out over any fears he had and he was quickly nodding off, but he had one last thing to do before he could let himself fall asleep.
When he'd filled his backpack after the accident, he stumbled upon one of Enzo's old pocket knives. TK stuck it in his bag, hoping he'd never have to use it, but being realistic enough to accept that it was a possibility. He flicked it open now, tucking it carefully under his pillow. If anyone tried anything with him in the middle of the night, he wouldn't be a helpless victim. TK fell asleep praying he'd never find out if he was brave enough to make that statement true.
TK woke up to the sound of something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Austin was so quiet compared to New York. There was always traffic and people yelling, no matter the time of night or day. Besides a dog barking and maybe a bird, TK hadn't heard anything since he went to bed. But now there was a noise he heard every so often that he couldn't ignore.
TK rolled off the couch as quietly as he could, shoving his knife in his pocket just in case. He tiptoed toward the sound of the noise, which was coming from his dad's bedroom. If he was doing something suspicious or gross, TK would run and never look back. But he had to be sure before he did anything that drastic. He crept up to the crack in the door and peeked inside.
The light inside the room was dim, but TK could see clearly enough. His dad was sitting in the middle of his bed, surrounded by a bunch of clothes and papers. He had what looked like a baseball jersey balled up into his hands and he was sobbing into it. TK wasn't sure if he'd ever seen someone crying so hard, yet so quietly. Only the tiniest noise slipped out every few seconds, but each one was like a knife to TK's chest. No one had ever cried over him before, unless it was due to hatred or disgust. But this wasn't that.
TK snuck back over to the couch, wiping his own eyes as he laid back down. This didn't mean that everything was going to work out okay, but it meant something. That wasn't performative, like his mom's tears would be when she wanted something from him. His dad wasn't trying to guilt TK into anything. He made sure TK was fine, then tucked himself away to let out his emotions. Owen set aside all the pain he must've been feeling during the day, just so he could focus all his attention on TK. Maybe TK wasn't ready to trust anyone, but they hadn't given him a reason not to yet.