Reunited
It took us only one or two hours until the bay of the Assassins' island lay in front of us. During this time, my excited anticipation had grown immensely. The heaviness that had seized my heart since the Mentor's letter had eased instantly and now I was just happy to know that Connor was well and that I was going to see him soon. I had hardly an eye for the island, which looked right from my dreams, while we were nearing the simple harbour and the crew prepared for landing. I stood at the bow, Emily in my arms, and searched the many faces on land for the one I had been missing for four months. There was a lot of activity on the footbridges. Men on land were trying to help the crew with landing the ship and between all the hustle and bustle, I saw him. Connor stood by the end of the footbridge the ship was landing on and when he saw us, too and our eyes met, my heart skipped a beat. While the ship's bow passed Connor and we slowly came to a halt, I went back on deck to the railing, where they would let down the plank. Connor had followed the ship up the footbridge and stood on its edge, to avoid being in the way of the men tying up the ship. Emily had watched everything safely from my arms and didn't seem to know where to turn her attention.
"Look who is there", I whispered to her and pointed at Connor. "There is your papa."
She followed my cue with her head and eyes, but when the men started to let down the plank, they seemed to be more fascinating and I carefully put her down onto her feet, only to grab her hand so that she didn't get into the men's way. Only when the plank was secured, we walked to it and I smirked as the tall, rough men made way for the little, waddling duckling beside me so that she could make a bug and careful step over the threshold between plank and ship. She looked back at it sceptically before carefully walking down the plank. Connor had stepped to its other end and squatted down to greet his daughter who was only a few steps away and was so concentrated, that she hadn't noticed him, yet. Only when she had almost reached him, he stretched out his arms and called her name, Emily raised her head and looked like she was wondering who was blocking her way. But when she recognized him, she squealed and reached out the hand that was holding her doll, quickening her steps. I let go of her as soon as she couldn't fall into the water and she ran right into Connor's arms, who lifted her and stood up. Emily's high-pitched laughter echoed through the bay when Connor lifted her above his head, smiling happily himself. My heart burst with love watching this scene and I stayed where I was because I didn't want to interrupt. Emily had missed Connor terribly and judging the way he held her close, kissed her forehead and cheek and murmured quiet words in Mohawk, he hadn't missed her any less. Of course not.
Connor kissed Emily's forehead again before setting her down, where she grabbed the fringe of his leggings and demanded to be lifted again. But Connor ignored her and turned his attention to me, who finally crossed the distance and threw herself into his open arms. It felt wonderful to be pulled closer, nuzzle my head into his chest and breathe in his familiar scent. Even after months in the Caribbean, I was sure he still smelled of the frontier's woods. Of fir trees, resin and moss, mixed with the salty scent of the sea. How much I had missed this scent.
"It is so good to see you", he murmured and I could feel the vibration of his voice in his chest. I raised my head and looked straight into the warm brown of his eyes, saw this small smile on his lips before he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I smirked.
"We were separated for four months and the only greeting I get is 'It's good to see you' and a kiss on the forehead?"
Connor cocked his head and his eyes flitted to the footbridge, to the people working there. But this time, I didn't care. I put my hand on the back of his neck, applying light pressure to make him lean down as I got onto the tip of my toes to place my lips on his. Connor returned the kiss immediately, apparently forgetting about the people on the footbridge and pulled me closer, as if he feared I could disappear from his embrace. But nothing and no one could make me let go of him.
"It is still good to see you", he breathed against my lips when we pulled away from each other and I couldn't hold back a laugh.
"It is good to see you, too." I leaned my head back to look him over. His eyes, which were full of warmth and tenderness, were also tired and had shadows underneath them. As if he hadn't slept well in days.
"When I received the news you were lost at sea, I was so scared. That's why we're here." I loosened my hand from the back of his neck and put it on his cheek instead while resting the other on his chest. "Mr Pollux told me what happened. Is everyone alright? How are you?"
Connor's gaze avoided mine and turned onto our daughter instead, who had given up her begging and made a few, tiny steps towards the edge of the footbridge, one of his leggings' fringe in her hand.
"Halvert and Tibby got injured. They were down on the canon deck", he murmured as if he didn't want me to hear him while he picked Emily up. He readjusted her hat, which had sat only halfway on her head. But despite her joyful smile and the light slap against his cheek, the serious expression on his face didn't disappear. "It was my fault, Lillian", he continued, even quieter than before. "It was stormy and foggy, but I wanted to stay on course. We were close to a narrow passage that could have saved us miles. Not only Mr Faulkner but the entire crew warned me, but I was sure I could make it. But because of the weather, I did not see the reef and we ran aground. Nothing would have happened if I had not been so eager to save time."
I sighed quietly. Why wasn't I surprised that he was so hard on himself?
"You made a mistake, yes", I said and laid my hands on his arm that carried Emily. "But we all make mistakes and everything was fine at the end. Don't punish yourself like this."
"But I cannot make such mistakes", Connor replied forcefully as if he wanted to make me blame him as well. "I am responsible for these men. We were lucky. It could have ended much worse."
"But it didn't." I carefully laid my right hand on his cheek. "Halvert and Tibbs will recover and I am sure, something like this will never happen to you again. You didn't act like this because you're an ignorant and irresponsible person. You are a good Captain and your men know that, too."
Connor took a deep and audible breath to contradict, but I shook my head, running my thumb over his bottom lip. "I don't want to hear it. You could rather tell me where Bobby and Caleb are. I expected a whole welcome committee."
Connor's gaze flitted over my crooked smile and I could read in his eyes that he didn't like the sudden change of subject, but I knew him and his sense of responsibility very well. He would keep scourging himself before accepting that it wouldn't change what had happened.
"Caleb is somewhere with his peers", he began slowly. "Faulkner is…with the Aquila to watch the repairs. We managed to pull her onto a sand bank. There she will be repaired enough to get her into a bigger harbour where we can finish the work."
"How bad is the damage?"
"It is an about two-meter tear in the bow. Some water damages." Connor squinched up his face and I regretted my question. I knew that for Faulkner, the Aquila had the status of a real person and I could imagine that he was grieving the damages like a fatal wound. Connor hadn't adopted this strange quirk, yet but certainly, the ship was just as important to him.
"It will be fine. I think, the Aquila already went through much worse", I said confidently and gave him another reassuring smile which he accepted with a faint raise of the corner of his mouth. Well then.
Someone clearing their throat made us turn our attention away from one another. Mr Pollux had stepped beside us and put Emily's and my bag next to us.
"Oh, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have", I uttered embarrassed. In looking forward to holding Connor in my arms again, I had forgotten about our luggage. But Mr Pollux waved my apology aside and stretched out his hand to Connor, who grabbed it after setting Emily down again.
"It's nice to see you in one piece, Connor."
Connor only nodded and of course, seemed to prefer not to get into this topic again. "Thank you for bringing them here", he said instead. "I owe you."
"No, you don't." Pollux waved aside again and gave a crooked smile in my direction. "It was a pleasure and I had no choice anyway. I couldn't have left them at your home, even if I had wanted to. Your wife has a great talent for appealing to somebody's conscience."
"She does indeed."
I blushed as both men looked at me. I knew the talent they were talking about far too well and I also knew that I had this brash quirk to always try to get what I wanted. I felt sorry for pushing Pollux into taking us with him. I just hadn't had it in me to accept his initial hesitation but what had I been supposed to do? I knew that I possibly would have decided to do this journey with Emily alone to keep me from losing my mind. But luckily everything went well. Our travel and Connor's. He was fairly well and I didn't regret that I had taken this journey. For that, I was too happy to stand beside Connor again and since he hadn't said anything against our presence, he didn't seem to mind. Now he grabbed the bag's handle with one hand and the much smaller hand of his daughter with the other and nodded towards the other end of the footbridge.
"I guess, Consuela is already waiting for you in her study. She would have accompanied me to greet you, but she was hindered. If you do not mind, I would like to introduce you to her before showing you our room." He had said this last sentence to me and I nodded. I would have loved to freshen up after the journey before being introduced to anybody, but his suggestion was the more polite choice. The Mentor had informed me about Connor's disappearance, but I had come here uninvited. So I followed the men down the now emptied footbridge, over a dusty path through a small settlement and up the cliff with the white villa, I had already seen from the harbour. I hadn't expected to see something like it on a small island like this between all the other simple houses.
On our way, I kept looking around curiously, watching the people around us. Between those who were wearing robes like Connor's and bore Hidden Blades, I kept seeing pretty normal-looking people. As normal as you could be, compared to Assassins. When I asked Connor about them, he told me they were normal settlers whose ancestors had lived here long before the Assassins. He mentioned the fact, that Great Inagua used to be a pirates' nest as if it was nothing, but I was astonished by it either way. To me, pirates belonged to the land of myth and legend, even though their prime was only a few centuries ago. I was already so excited about our stay here, about what we could discover, even in the jungle beyond the settlement. If it wasn't dangerous, you could probably explore it on foot.
We soon climbed some stone stairs in which I had taken Emily's doll in one hand and hers in the other. She squealed happily while Connor and I lifted her each step at a time. She had kept looking around on her own, had pointed at things that had drawn her attention and had tried pulling Connor into any direction but the one we wanted to go to. Now, as we reached the stairs' landing, we both watched the two young men duelling each other with wooden swords in a small arena. The loud clacking of the blades hitting each other echoed through the air and wasn't drowned out by the voices of the people around the arena and in the villa's big front yard. Men and women of different ages and all of them seemed to be assassins. Those who noticed us greeted us with a nod of their heads, smiles or spoke to Pollux and Connor directly. It was obvious that the latter had already spent some time among them. It looked like it had always been this way.
We entered the villa and with it a big room with huge windows, a long table in its centre and cushion seats on both sides. I had hardly time to look around, as we walked into a room to our right which seemed to be the Mentor's study. So she had to be the blonde middle-aged woman who sat behind a massive desk in front of the windows and looked up from some papers when Pollux knocked on the door-frame.
"August, it is good to see you. I already expected you. Come in." She stacked the papers neatly together and rose from her chair to step around the desk and approach us. She wore a friendly smile on her lips, even when she looked Emily and me over. "I would ask who you brought with you, but I have the feeling that I know it already. Mrs Kenway, am I right?"
"Lillian, please." I returned her friendly smile and stretched out my hand which she took. "My apologies for accompanying Mr Pollux uninvited, but your letter disconcerted me immensely. Although Connor is fine, I hope that our presence is not a nuisance for you, Ma'am."
"Consuela and no. It certainly is not. I understand why you came here and you are very much invited to stay if you like. Connor's family is as welcome as our brother himself." She looked down at Emily. Connor and I were still holding her hands and it seemed like she was stunned by this room. Her new point of interest was a chest with a fishing net spread over it. She kept stepping in its direction, only to be held back by Connor and me. When the Mentor kneeled in front of her, she gave up trying and looked at the strange woman with big eyes.
"You must be little Emily. Caleb, Faulkner and your father told me about you and I have to say, that you are an adorable little lady. How old is she?"
"She is two", I answered, my voice full of pride.
"Oh, almost grown up." Consuela chuckled and ran her index finger over Emily's right cheek before standing up and turning to us again. "I am sorry but I cannot give you a bigger room. The families among us live in their own homes."
"It does not matter", Connor replied with a shake of his head. "If we could get some additional blankets and cushions, Lillian and I can sleep on the floor and the little one on the bed. We will be fine."
He looked at me who only nodded. I didn't know how big this room was, we were talking about. But I didn't want to cause any more trouble than necessary and as long as Emily got a bed after so many nights on a blank deck, I didn't care.
"Well then, I will send someone to get you everything you need." Consuela's smile became apologetic. "I am sorry but I need to talk to Mr Pollux, I suppose the three of you want to have some time alone anyway. I would be happy to see you at dinner. I hope I do not need to mention that you are invited, Lillian. I am certain that we will find the time to talk some more."
"It would be my pleasure." I returned her friendly smile and with a light nod, the Mentor dismissed us. She stayed behind with Mr Pollux as Connor closed the door behind us and we left the house through the backdoor of the grand entrance hall.
"Consuela is very nice", I said while Connor led us over the terrace that surrounded the whole villa. Bright pink blossoms adorned the wooden support beam of the porch roof and the fruity scent of the small trees, that stood everywhere in small pots, rose into my nose. They were full of round orange and yellow fruits which I recognized as oranges and lemons. In England, but also North America, you had to pay huge sums to taste these southern delicacies. Here you could grow them yourself.
"She is, and very helpful at that", Connor agreed and turned into a cobbled path, leading around a steep hill on whose top I had seen the roof of another building. "I think without her support, my search would not have come as far as it did."
"And how far is that? Did you have any success since your last letter?"
Connor glanced at me from the side and I saw him pinching his lips, before answering.
"Not as far as I wished. It feels like I have travelled the whole Caribbean, but I did not find anything the stone's riddle could have led me to. Neither a temple nor a maze. Not speaking of the riddle not being helpful at all. On the contrary. I am starting to think that I am searching the wrong places."
Connor uttered a frustrated huff and I wouldn't have needed it to know how he felt. His face said everything and I wished I could cheer him up but everything I came up with was precocious advice he probably had already followed.
"Did you tell the Mayan you talked to about the riddle?" I asked anyway and as expected, Connor nodded grimly.
"We went through every part of the riddle several times and tried to interpret them. The right path is shown through blood. Where it was once banned, you will find the maze's gate in the god's hand. The Mayan culture had a few blood rituals, but they have not been banned anywhere. Refraining from the conquest and destruction of their sites by the Spaniards. But this happened everywhere. The part about the god is not meaningful either. The Mayan believed in many gods and their effigies are everywhere. I did not find anything about Guardian, step through the gate. Follow corridor after corridor, get lost in this place. But brave guardian, be assured, that the path of death is always the right one to choose. The riddle is useless."
Connor sighed and stopped at the landing of the stairs, that were leading up the hill in a gentle curve. "Lillian, I wished I could tell you about real progress, but I do not have any."
"Yet." I smiled gently and raised a hand to softly run it over his cheek. "I know that you will find this temple. You cannot give up."
"I will not. I just feel like I am standing in front of a wall, another in my back."
"Then we have to find a way to tear these walls down, no matter how hard it may seem. But haven't we always overcome such obstacles?"
The corners of Connor's mouth rose into a soft smile as I looked at him with my head cocked and he finally nodded, while letting go of Emily's hand for a moment to grab mine and step to me, so that I had to lean my head back a bit to keep looking into his eyes.
"I am glad you are here", he said gently and a warm sensation prickled through me as he bent down, obviously intending to kiss me.
"Baba, fowers!"
Connor's breath caressed my lips as he uttered a quiet sigh, before stepping back again and turning to Emily. She had used her chance to run ahead, while the adults were wasting their time with boring adult talk. She already stood in front of a small, adorable house whose walls on this side were covered in pink blossoms, growing like ivy. These blossoms had drawn Emily's attention and Connor stepped to her to help her pick one.
"A flower for the butterfly", he smirked and grabbed her hand again. "But you should not fly too far, do you hear me?" He turned back to me and nodded at the house. "This is the guest house. We share it with Faulkner and an Assassin who is not from here, either."
I simply nodded and followed him to the entrance door. I couldn't help myself but look towards the cliff on the side of the house. From its edge, you had an amazing view over the settlement and the bay. There I noticed a treacherous gleam between the branches of a tree and curious I stepped to the fence, separating you from the cliff. A delighted sound escaped my lips as I saw the source of the gleam in the distance.
"Waterfalls! They are huge!"
In some distance from the settlement, beyond the jungle were four of these mighty natural spectacles. They must be enormously high if you were able to see them from here. Much bigger than the ones in the frontier.
"We can go there sometime if you like." Connor and Emily had stepped beside me and he earned an excited look.
"Is that possible?"
"We will have to hike through the jungle for half an hour or so, but yes. I have been there. It is very beautiful and impressive."
"Then I want to see it, too!" Beaming I looked back at the waterfalls and it was hard to turn my eyes away again when Connor suggested to go inside the house.
From outside you could tell that it didn't offer much space and this impression was confirmed as we found ourselves in a narrow hallway with three doors and a kitchen corner. Connor opened the door opposite this corner and I huffed as I entered the room after him. It was a closet. A bed in one, a dresser in the other corner, the only pieces of furniture. This room certainly was big enough for one person. But three?
"It is not very comfortable", Connor said, who could probably read the scepticism on my face and his words were a huge understatement.
"If we make our bed on the floor, you cannot move through the room. We will lie right in the middle of it."
"We will only sleep here. There is no alternative as long as the Aquila is not here."
Unfortunately, he wasn't wrong. I sighed. At least Emily could sleep in a bed and basically, it didn't matter how we would spend our nights. I couldn't expect the comfort of an expensive inn. The Assassins who visited certainly didn't come here for a good rest either. We would get ourselves comfortable somehow. Furthermore, I had stepped to the small window and was thrilled that it offered the same view over the bay and the distant waterfalls as the cliffs outside. It was a small compensation for the lack of room.
"I do not have any water here you could use to freshen up."
I looked over my shoulder at Connor, who stood beside the dresser, holding an empty tin jug that had stood beside a washing bowl. "I will get some if you like."
"Not necessary. I think we can do that on our way back here." I turned to him and smirked as I watched Emily walking in circles, babbling and taking everything in. As always, she held her doll tight to her chest and the flower Connor had picked before was in the same hand, which made it already look quite battered.
"Maybe we could go for a walk. Look around the settlement and go to the beach. I think this would help us tire Emily."
The little one had slept through the whole journey from Havanna and it seemed like she had to get rid of all the energy. Even though I didn't doubt that she was going to sleep like a stone after this more than exciting day. Connor agreed smirking and together we went back outside. Again we followed the paved path back to the villa, past the arenas, down the stairs and back to the settlement. The whole time, Connor held Emily's hand and soon I fell back, to watch them. It was a touching sight. My big, strong and armed husband, walking beside our small, waddling and innocently curious daughter. How they called each other's attention to little things on the edge of the path and the way his warm laughter joined her joyful one as he lifted her onto his shoulders, where she could explore the world from his height. Connor seemed like a different person, whenever he was with Emily. As if all the burden he had carried on his shoulders for years would fall off immediately and it made me incredibly happy. Maybe in the end, it was a good thing that we had come here. The last couple of months had taken a toll on him. Not only physically, but mentally. I could see it and I had felt it when he had told me about the accident at sea and his search for the temple. Maybe we could help him regain his strength, order his thoughts and find new ways. I wanted to help him every step of the way, if I could since the past four, idle months had taken their toll on me, too.
Connor led us back to the footbridge but turned into a small part of the beach behind the tavern, where we found only an empty arena. The beach ended at a high cliff, enclosing the whole bay and here, Connor took Emily off of his shoulders. A normally tall palm tree was bent over the beach towards the water like a plank and Emily enjoyed it when her father put her onto the trunk and held her hips while she balanced over it for some tumbling steps. She couldn't reach the green leaves since Connor couldn't support her there, but she didn't seem to mind. She walked up and down the tree until she got bored and Connor put her back onto solid ground. Next, she had to get rid of her shoes and socks to explore the water with her naked feet. Emily's squeal echoed through the bay, every time a gentle wave washed over her feet or she bent down to dip her hands into the water. Connor stayed by her side, getting involved in her play and making sure that she didn't jump into the water, while I was overseeing her doll from a safe distance. I had sat down in the warm sand and enjoyed watching them.
Now that we had arrived and our presence didn't bother anyone, I started to feel relaxed, but also tired. I couldn't believe we were here. With Connor and in the Caribbean at that. I kept looking around my surroundings. The beach, the palm trees, the cliffs, the deep blue water. Compared to Havanna, Great Ingua was very close to my dreamy imagination of the Caribbean and even though I found the temperature and high humidity very unpleasant, I could see us staying here for a while. At least as long as it took Connor to find the temple. He carried the Apple in a bag on his belt. A fact I had noticed but that I wanted to ignore.
But as long as it stays there, it should be harmless. Hopefully.
Emily, who had got bored by the water, came running to me and I gave her her doll back. A few steps away, she slumped into the sand and started playing with it. It was obvious that Connor had been dismissed as her play partner for now and so he came to me, sat down beside me and wiped his wet hands on his pants.
"Now I understand what you were writing about her energy", he said and I laughed.
"Right? She wants to be entertained constantly. It's exhausting but still a joy."
"That is true." He sank back and propped his arms up behind his body, to lean back his head and look into the sky, where the sun was already reclining behind one of the steep mountains. I watched him, regarded his profile and admired the way the orange evening light made his eyes shine like amber. God, how I had missed this face. Not less than the man it belonged to.
"How was your journey? Was there any trouble despite Mr Pollux's company?"
I blinked like I was caught as Connor looked at me again and tore me out of my admiration. But I recovered quickly. After all, it wasn't forbidden to look at your husband and - yes - be smitten by him.
"Except for a petulant captain, who didn't want to let a 'woman and her brat' onto his ship, no there weren't any." I smirked at the thought of the Spanish schooner. "We had to buy some lighter clothes in Havanna. We were too hot and…" I stopped as I thought of Havanna and remembered my meeting with Olivia. In all my joy to see Connor again, I had suppressed all negative thoughts once more. I should have told him sooner.
"What is it?" Of course, Connor noticed my sudden change of heart and he looked concerned as he sat up again and scooted closer. Uneasily I bit my lip, but who else should I tell, if not him? So I took a deep breath and hesitantly began telling about Olivia and my concerns regarding my reaction to her unexplainable knowledge about the island. Connor listened as attentively as always, his face serious but not angry, after I had ended. He seemed rather thoughtful while nodding and looking out at the sea.
"It could be a coincidence that she mentioned Great Inagua", he said. "But it is a strange coincidence indeed, especially since her reaction seemed weird to me, too."
I nodded. "She was nervous. As if she was cornered. It was so untypical for her. Do you think she made business with the Templars?"
Connor shook his head. "No matter what she did in her past, she has always been truthful to me. Furthermore, it would be too dangerous for her. The Templars are still looking for Ray and so they are looking for her, too. Olivia is not stupid. She knows she cannot trust them. So do not worry you could have caused any damage. I will talk to Consuela about it. She is from Havanna, too. Maybe she even knows Olivia."
It was strange. I worried about the world and his brother but it took only a few reasonable words from Connor and I was reassured. Was it because of my feelings for him or just because I knew that he would never say anything he did not mean? Maybe both. Right now I felt this bad feeling I had had since my meeting with Olivia slightly disappear.
"Maybe she can enlighten us", I agreed. "I have no other explanation for Olivia's behaviour."
"Well, Olivia has always been a riddle wrapped up in darkness."
"Wrapped up in what?" I grinned but couldn't hold back a laugh as Connor frowned and seemed to reconsider his words. Obviously, he concluded that there was no reason for my amusement.
"That is how you say it, is it not?"
"Enigma. Wrapped up in an enigma."
"Whether it is wrapped up in darkness or an enigma, does not matter. It is hard to find anyway." Connor huffed about my ongoing giggling. But I couldn't help myself. It was generally amusing how much effort he put into the right choice of English words and it was natural since it was not his native language. Still, I was amused by his recreation of this saying and his reaction to my amusement.
"Just keep making fun of me." He sulked and I bit my lip to suppress my giggle as I scooted closer, linked arms with him and breathed an apologetic kiss onto his cheek.
"I am sorry. I didn't want to offend you."
He simply wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me closer. Still smirking, I let him and leaned against Connor. So we sat there silently for a while, watching our daughter, still sitting in the sand and having a serious conversation with her doll about the art she had created in the sand. Despite the new surroundings, everything seemed so familiar. Suddenly I felt at home, even though I had left it behind to come here. But I needed all my loved ones around me to be happy and content.
"I am so glad we are with you again", I whispered and slightly raised my head from Connor's shoulder to brush my nose against his neck until my lips touched his cheek. Longer than they had done before.
"I am, too", he replied and turned to me until the tip of his nose touched mine. "Very."
He made me sit up until I could look straight into his eyes and pulled my chest against his so that I had to wrap my arms around his neck for support. Warmth flooded through me as he leaned his forehead against mine. This familiar, much-beloved gesture was often so much more intimate than any kiss.
"Four months were too long", Connor murmured. "We were often separated, but the longer it took this time, the more I had to think of you whenever I was alone. If someone had told me a few years ago, that I could feel so much longing for a woman, I would have never put myself above other men."
He brushed his forehead against mine and I had to force myself to keep my breathing under control and calm my racing heart. I knew what he was referring to because I felt the same. When he had left for the Caribbean, I had thought I could get over the time without him. As always. After all, I was used to him being gone for weeks. But he had never left for more than one or even two months. Now, almost half a year had passed. Four eternally long months and eventually it had become painful not to have him around. Mentally and yes, physically. To hug him, kiss him, and make love to him. I loved to remember this particular May afternoon when Connor had surprised me with his seductive approach and how wonderful it had been to give in. Back then we had realized how much we had longed for one another, even though we both had never considered the time during and after my pregnancy, when we hadn't made love to each other, as unpleasant or unhappy. But we still had been close. We had been able to hug, kiss and touch. Small moments of affection that had been so much more meaningful. Four months without this affection had left a painful, hollow feeling and a deep longing for Connor's closeness. On this afternoon in May, I had laughed about us. Had called us desperate, but now I saw it in a different light. How could it be desperate or wrong to long for your partner? Mentally and physically?
"I love you", I whispered, softly running my lips over his and sliding my hands to his collar and the tips of my fingers under his shirt. "And I was longing for you, too."
Connor's gaze met mine and something in his eyes made me shiver. Love and the desire he felt and I shared both of these feelings with him. At the same time, I was wondering how I had earned being the woman he looked at like this and who he pulled closer to…
"Mamaaa!"
We tore away from each other as if we had been caught doing something forbidden. We had been so caught up in each other's presence that we had forgotten where we were. I could feel the heat retreating from my body into my cheeks as I moved away from Connor and turned to Emily, who came waddling to us and propped up her hands on my knees.
"Hungry."
I had to suppress a sigh. I certainly wasn't mad at Emily, but her intervention had come too quickly for my still racing heart. It was hard to return from the desire to get lost in Connor's arms back to reality.
"I'm wondering why you weren't earlier," I smirked and grabbed the two little hands that were stretching out for me. "When will we have the dinner Consuela was talking about?"
Connor looked at the sky that had already turned crimson red. The sun had disappeared behind the mountains and they were casting their long shadows onto the bay.
"They should be preparing everything for it. Just let us go."
"Before we go there: Could we fetch some water, so that Emily and I can freshen up? I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting with the others like that."
Connor agreed and after we had stood up, had gotten rid of the sand in our and Emily's clothes and I had grabbed the little one's hand, we went back to the villa. There they had started to gather tables, chairs and plates to prepare dinner for a good amount of people on the terrace and the garden. We avoided being in the way of anyone while walking to the water mill on the edge of the garden. Connor drew water from the creek running through the wheel with a bucket, as suddenly a familiar voice called out for us.
"You are really here!"
I turned around and beamed with joy as I saw the blonde boy running towards us. "Caleb! It's so good to see you!" I pulled him into a tight embrace as he reached us and he returned this hug just as warmly. I was happy to find him in one piece. I stretched out my arms and looked him over. He was tanned, had grown quite a bit and I was sure he had gained some muscles. He didn't look so thin and…childlike anymore. He promptly gave me an explanation.
"You won't believe what I have learned since we came here. I am allowed to participate in all the training lessons others in my age go through, isn't that great?"
I felt my smile waver dangerously. Connor had written that Caleb was allowed to train with the other novices, but I had never liked this thought and still didn't. I intended to speak about it soon, but now that Caleb was standing in front of me, smiling happily, this plan seemed futile. I couldn't take away his joy after we hadn't seen each other in months.
"You look like it", I just said with a weak smile and was glad that Caleb wasn't as keen-eyed when it came to my emotions as his foster father. His smile grew wider and luckily he turned his attention to Emily. He lifted her so suddenly that she gave a scared scream and I had to reprimand and tell him to be more careful.
"Sorry, little one." Caleb kissed the tip of Emily's nose and received a big smile. "You know, we gonna have baked bananas tonight. You never had them before, but you will love them. Can I take her with me? We could get some in advance."
I was tempted to say no because I wanted to wash Emily before dinner, but seeing her babbling happily into Caleb's ear, probably telling him everything that had happened over the last couple of months, I doubted that her napkin needed to be changed and that anyone could be bothered by it. She didn't look dirty and sweaty. At least not entirely.
"Wash her hands before you do", I said, a quiet sigh in my voice. Caleb nodded eagerly and ran off to the house shortly afterwards, Emily in his arms. That was how quickly the children of this family were out for mischief again.
"What the hell are backed bananas?", I asked Connor over my shoulder, who smirked, grabbed the bucket and put his other hand on my back, signalling that we could go.
"Bananas are fruits. Raw they taste sweet and good. Baked they are even sweeter. I think you will like them."
"Oh, if they taste sweet, I certainly will."
I was already looking forward to seeing what they ate here. I was certain the Caribbean had many delicacies to offer that I had never heard of and I loved learning about new things. Especially when it came to food. God, only the thought of it made me feel hungry.
Connor and I returned to the guest house, where Connor filled the water from the bucket into a pot over the small fire in the kitchen corner, while I went into our room. I opened the small window, to let in the cool evening air in and lost myself in the view again. The bay was bathed in beautiful red light and the distant waterfalls were shining in different shades of orange. It still felt like a dream. I could hardly turn my eyes away while unlacing my bodice to take it off, just like my blouse. Although I could spent ages standing here and looking out of the window, I had to tear away so that we got to dinner in time. I just made it, as Connor entered the room and filled the jug and the washing bowl with the cooked water.
"There are some clean towels in that drawer", Connor said and nodded at the dresser in front of him.
"Thank you." I ran my hand over his back as I stepped to him and he made room for me, taking a step aside towards the bed. This room was ridiculously small since there was no space for two people moving around. I wondered if Connor had fallen out of the bed once. It was small, too. Big enough for one person, but I knew his sleeping habits. He loved stretching out, often taking space from my side of the bed. I could hardly imagine that he had been able to do that here.
"What are you smirking about?"
Connor had sat down on said bed and looked at me with his head cocked, while I slipped the blouse over my head and dipped a towel into the warm water. I hadn't noticed that I was smirking, but now I did it even wider.
"I was wondering how you managed to sleep in this bed without falling off."
"Well…" Connor crossed his outstretched legs. "I have not slept in this bed once. I always took the bedding on the ground and back on the bed the next morning, so that I could move through the room."
"Really?" I stopped running the soaked towel over the back of my neck and gave Connor a confused look over my shoulder. He just shrugged.
"Why not? It seemed more comfortable than the bed."
I chuckled. Why was I surprised? Connor didn't need much comfort. He didn't mind going without a bed. Something I couldn't say about myself. I had hoped for a soft bed since the end of our travel, but it seemed like I wouldn't enjoy one soon. But as long as I could share the floor with Connor, it bothered me less.
Still smirking about this thought, I continued washing myself. My arms, my neck, my chest, every piece of skin that wasn't covered by my remaining clothes or couldn't be reached underneath it. Even though the water wasn't cold, it was still refreshing to get rid of this disgusting, sweaty feeling. At least the new blouse and shift had made the temperatures more bearable. But I couldn't wear them forever and beside my old clothes, they were the only pieces I had with me. Emily's stuff, especially her napkin, took the most room in our bag. As always.
"Do you think I can ask Consuela where I can wash our things? The clothes, the napkins."
Again I looked at Connor and again he shrugged. "Of course. Why not?"
"Just asking." I put the towel back into the bowl, opened the clasp that held my hair and stepped to Connor and the bed, where he had placed our bag. "I wouldn't like to wear the same clothes every day in this weather."
"So you want to spend your days doing the laundry?"
I raised my eyes from the bag I was searching for my hairbrush and arched a brow as I noticed Connor's amused face.
"No, but I have not much to change into. But I don't expect someone to understand, who has been wearing the same coat for years." I gave him a provocative grin and straightened up, as I had finally found the brush. Connor huffed and seemed to come to the decision not to comment on my teasing. Instead, he kept his eyes on me while I brushed my hair in long, thorough strokes. I could see his eyes following each of my movements as if they were the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. But every joking comment I could have made was forgotten when I looked into his eyes. Despite the ridiculousness of our prior conversation, there was the sudden, longing tension between us, that I had felt at the beach. His look told me just the same. As if we were back in this intimate moment. As if Emily had never interrupted us.
My body seemed to act on its own when I dropped the brush back into the bag. I stepped over Connor's legs, sank onto his lap and sealed his lips with a tender kiss, burying my hands in his hair. Connor sighed quietly, deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms tightly around me.
In moments like this, he wasn't the cold, unapproachable Assassin everyone knew. Now he was the man I loved and who I hadn't seen for too long and I was his wife, his lover and once again we got lost in each other.
Connor held me tight while I clawed at his shirt and our kiss got more and more passionate. When was the last time we had kissed each other like this? It seemed to be years ago and right now, I didn't want anything else but this. To hold him, feel his lips on mine, the warmth of his fingertips running over my cheek, as well as the rapid rising and falling of his chest when I held him as close as I could. I felt intoxicated, while I got warmer and warmer and I couldn't and didn't want to pull away. I didn't care about anything when Connor suddenly pushed his arms under my knees and stood up effortlessly, while I clung to him before he set me down and gently manoeuvred me backwards until my back hit the closed door. I leaned my head against it, separated our lips and just looked at him for a moment. Shiny eyes, his lips just as shiny from our kisses and lightly opened, breathing heavily. So wonderfully flustered. A sight I couldn't get enough of.
"Shouldn't we go?", he asked quietly and the husky, deep sound of his voice made me shiver.
"Do you think they'll be waiting for us?", I replied in nothing more than a whisper. He shook his head and kissed me again. His right hand slid into the back of my neck, his right to my lower back to press my body against his. I could feel that I wasn't the only one taken by this situation.
My hands slid from the back of his neck, my fingertips brushing the warm skin they found in this open collar. Connor pulled away long enough to open the clasps of his weapon belt with hasty but still experienced hands. It fell to the floor with a thud when its owner shook it off with a roll of his shoulders, only to kick it aside. Just as he did with his bow and quiver. A smirk flitted across my face, was noticed by Connor's eyes and taken away by his lips. His robes slid to the floor as well when I slipped them over his shoulders, just like his shirt which I had opened with shaky fingers. Carefully I ran them over his skin. Exploring every inch, as if I had to remind myself how it felt. They followed the lines of his muscles, and his scars and with every gentle caress, Connor intensified the pressure of his lips against mine. Until he pulled away in a jerk and I was without the warmth of his body. A whimper escaped my throat and I reached out my hands for him, begging for his touch.
"Don't…" I whispered.
"My blades", he simply said and now I realized that he was getting rid of his bracers, followed by his holster. I hadn't even noticed that he was carrying two blades instead of one. But right now I didn't care. Only when he wasn't carrying any weapons and couldn't accidentally hurt me anymore, he came back to me, pressing his lips on mine. His nimble fingers opened the laces of my skirt and slid them off my hips, whereupon the heavy fabric bulged around my feet, where I kicked it away to Connor's things on the pile next to us. But none of us cared about the mess. I couldn't think straight anyway.
When Connor shortly pulled away, we were both out of breath and I felt feverish with the heat in my cheeks and body. Connor occupied my whole mind while I took note of every movement, felt every light touch and believed to hear every breath he took and every sound he made. His forehead was resting against mine, his right hand on my thigh where it slowly gathered the fabric of my skirt, pulling it up bit by bit until his rough fingertips touched my heated skin and he let his hand disappear underneath my skirt, where it slowly slid up my thigh. With open lips, I took a shaky breath and fought the urge to close my eyes. I didn't want to turn them away from his who were looking at me with such an intensity that I shivered pleasantly over and over again. I longed for his touch while I was hardly able to move my own hands, whose fingers were loosely hanging in the sash around his hips. The back of my head hit the door with a thud and I moaned when Connor's tender touches found their mark. I lost the fight and closed my eyes, too overwhelmed by the sensation of his touch. My legs got weak, my hands were shaking, my breath caught and I felt like my heart was leaping out of my chest. It was too much and at the same time, not enough.
The laces of his pants kept slipping out of my trembling fingers as I tried loosening them. I was hardly in control of my body, my senses or my mind. Everything seemed to focus on Connor's gentle fingers, while his forehead rested against mine and he kept brushing my nose with his. But when my fingers repaid him for his caresses, he took a sharp breath and his body trembled.
"Ratonhnhaké:ton", I whispered gently and he looked into my eyes again. There was no need for words. We both wanted the same.
Connor pushed his arms under my knees and lifted me up effortlessly. I wrapped my legs around his hips, my arms around his neck and buried my face in the crook of it. I could feel his racing pulse under my lips, as I ran them over the tender skin, over his throat, up to his chin which I grazed with my teeth, before kissing his lips. Connor rewarded me with a deep growl, that vibrated through his chest and the grip of his left hand tightened, while his right disappeared from my skin for a moment and then, we were one. Gasping I leaned my head back against the wooden door and arched my back due to the wave of sensations crashing over me. My hands aimlessly wandered to his shoulders, chest and back up to his shoulders, which I clung to in desperate need of support. Not because Connor didn't hold me, or the door in my back didn't offer any, but because I felt like I was caught in a storm and it went by the name of Connor.
I was wrapped in his presence, his scent. I felt his skin underneath my fingertips, the tension in his muscles whose strength held me tight while he moved just as powerfully and carried us both to heaven. The closer we came, the more Connor was caught in his passion. He clung to my thighs with every movement. So tightly that I eventually laid my hand on his to loosen his painful grip. But despite this outburst of passion I had never known before, I enjoyed it. For too long, we hadn't been able to touch each other and it seemed to be our instinct to make us both forget about it.
Connor's lips eventually were on my neck where his heavy breathing tickled my skin and where he suppressed his moans, while I bit my lip, my eyes closed. As if I feared that every sound could destroy this moment, although I only wanted to vent my emotions. Suddenly I felt like my body was too tight and when he felt that I was close to my climax, Connor raised his head and leaned his forehead against mine, before sealing my lips with a kiss and silencing my quiet scream. A guttural sound and the stiffness in his body were the only signs that he had followed me before Connor slumped against me as if his strength had left him.
His head rested against my collarbone. I had my hands in his hair, running my fingertips gently through it and playing with some dark strands, while the only thing we heard was our breathing and I was certain that my heartbeat had gotten into my ears somehow. I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the gentle fading of the warm waves that had flooded my body, my fingers still buried in Connor's soft hair. He stood entirely still which eventually made me laugh.
"Are you well?"
When Connor released his breath through his mouth, it brushed the heated skin of my chest and still caused goosebumps.
"Not at all."
Appalled I clung tighter to him when he turned around, me still in his arms, so that he had the door in his back and slowly slid down, until we sat on the ground, me on his lap.
"I am sorry."
Confused I cocked my head. What was he sorry for after what we had just experienced?
"I was not…myself, I fear." Connor lowered his eyes on his hands that were resting on my thighs again and drew small circles with his fingertips. "I underestimated how much I was longing for you. It just…came over me and I did not want to jump on you like…a rabbit in spring."
I was still confused and blinked several times, waiting for him to say that he had been joking. But of course, he didn't and when I realized it, I couldn't stop myself. I laughed.
"Oh, that's nonsense." I ran my fingertips through his hair again and made him look at me. "You didn't…jump on me."
"But I was not careful with you either. I even hurt you." He caressed the red marks his fingers had left on my thighs when he had clung to them.
"That's nothing." I grabbed his hand and led it to my lips, to breathe a gentle kiss on each fingertip. "You never seriously hurt me and you would never do so. I enjoyed what just happened. As rough as it might have been." I kissed the palm of his hand and leaned forward to involve his lips in my caresses. Connor sighed but pulled away from me to give me a serious look.
"Still I wanted to take my time with you. Time you deserve, after we have been separated for so long."
"We should take our time together", I replied whispering, wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for another, long and deep kiss. His gentle words had awoken this prickling sensation, that I could only feel for him. This man and his care were incredible. Incredibly difficult, but also incredibly lovable. I had never realized that even in the physical aspects of our love, he was so concerned for me. It was honourable. It made a difference compared to many men, who saw it as their wives' duty to lie with them and for this reason alone, I couldn't hold his passionate outburst after a long time of abstinence against him. I wouldn't have anyway.
"We probably should join the others", Connor murmured against my lips and reminded me painfully that we couldn't dwell in other togetherness any longer. I sighed.
"Do you think they still have baked…mananas?"
Connor smirked. "Bananas?"
"Whether it's bananas or mananas doesn't matter." I gave him a cheeky grin that made him shake his head, still smirking. Yes, I had been tempted to tease him for his slip of the tongue back on the beach. But despite my teasing, he put a hand on my cheek and breathed a short, gentle kiss on my lips.
"I have missed you, Lillian. Not only in my arms."
And once more, it was a feeling we shared. Very much so.