— JENNIE

..

"Rosé, I asked if you could pack a bag for me, not bring along my entire closet." I grunt as I drag my large suitcase up her stairs.

"Well, I wanted you to have options." She shrugs.

"Thanks," I sass. I do appreciate that she took the time to pack my things. There was no way I could stay in my house tonight. My mother would've driven me beyond mad. Thankfully, Rosé stayed after I ran off, waiting for me to come back. When she pulled up at the corner where Lisa and I sat, I felt a huge sense of relief, but I also had to explain to her why Lisa was there with me.

I lug my suitcase into her room, shutting the door behind me. Rosé sits down on her desk chair and stares expectantly at me. "What?" I ask.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on between you and this girl?"

I roll my eyes. "There's nothing going on. I don't even know Lisa. She's just a girl who works for my parents that just so happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time." I tread over to her bed; tossing myself backward, I land on top of her pink sheets and comforter. I'm exhausted. This has been the morning from hell.

"She seems to be arriving at the right place at the right time if you ask me."

"No one's asking you. Seriously, can we drop this? My morning has been rough enough."

"Fine." She taps her nails hard once on her desk, and then huffs. "You know what? No, it's not fine. Come on, Jennie. She pulled you out of the pool." I wish I never told her about that. Thank God I didn't tell her about the damn kiss. "Then I found the two of you in the shed, practically eye fucking each other. And this morning she just happens to be there after your mom goes into bitch mode and practically runs you out of the house?" I stare at the ceiling fan with no strength to fight back.

"We were not eye fucking," I respond lamely.

She snorts. "Whatever. If I didn't interrupt, I would've orgasmed with the stare the two of you were giving one another. That's not the point." Her chair squeaks. Five footsteps and a dip in the bed later, she's lying beside me and staring at the ceiling fan as well. "There's nothing wrong with having a little fun," she says softly.

"I don't want to have fun. I don't need to have fun. I'm happy not having any fun at all. You remember what happened when Jisoo wanted to have a little fun?" I ask, deadpan.

"Low blow, Jennie. Low. Fucking. Blow." It takes a lot to make Rosé upset, and I just did. I feel terrible. She shifts to move off the bed, but I grab her arm and bring her back down, all the while keeping my eyes glued to the ceiling.

"I'm sorry. It was a low blow," I say.

Her heavy sigh fills the air between us. "It's fine. I just thought this party might help get you out of that shell of yours. Loosen up a bit. Be free. But I understand why you wouldn't want to go. It's still too soon. I'm a terrible friend for even thinking it would help. So…I'm sorry."

Be free. Lisa's words repeat in my head. It's more than just that. It's a chance to escape, to be free.

I want that. I really do, more than anything. I need a chance to just clear my mind, to relax without a worry in the world. A chance to break away from any thoughts of my mother, from any memories of Jisoo. For just one day, at least, I want to be free.

"You're not a terrible friend, far from it. You're just looking out. And you know what? You're actually right. I need to let go a bit, be able to have some fun. I'm entitled to have fun. So all right, Rosé. Let's go." I can't believe I just said that out loud.

Rosé instantly sits herself up on her elbows. "All right?"

"Yes. All right."

"Eeeek! All right!" she squeals. Rosé jumps to her feet and starts bouncing happily on the bed.

..

The rest of the morning, Rosé and I shopped. Somehow she managed to drag me to the mall, much to my dismay. When she texted JK to ask if we should bring anything to the party, he seemed extremely excited to hear that she was going. I'm sure he expects her to give him a little extra attention tonight.

After our shopping, she packed her luggage, and then we were on the road. JK told her the guys were only working a half day and should be at the lake house by two this afternoon. She's been in la-la land all morning since I agreed to go. Now that we're actually on our way, my anxiety wants me to tell her to turn the car back around, that I've changed my mind. But I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for taking away her excitement. To be fair, she hasn't been out since Jisoo's been gone. It didn't occur to me until now that Rosé needs this as much as she thinks I do.

"You look cute, by the way," she says, taking a peek at me from the driver seat.

I look down, examining my attire. "I'm wearing jean shorts and a black cami. There's nothing cute about it."

She continues to smile brightly. Not even my depressing mood swings can bring her down. "Still, your hair and makeup are done. I've always said it's not the wardrobe but the hair and makeup that should always be stunning. So, like I said, you look cute."

"You insisted I do them. I'm not sure why I listened."

Rosé turns to look at me again, and her eyes pop wide in warning. What did I do? She reaches out and swats at my hand, which is pressed against my cheek. "Stop biting the inside of your cheek. You do that when you're nervous. Are you nervous right now?"

I didn't realize I was doing it. I unclamp my teeth from the hold on my inner cheek. "No. I'm just…I don't know." I slam my head back twice in frustration. "I'm thinking, that's all."

"About what?" She looks straight ahead as she steers.

"About what you said, about Lisa and me. For some reason I feel uncomfortable when she's around me."

"A bad uncomfortable or good uncomfortable?"

I adjust in the seat, admiring her profile. Rosé is beautiful, yes, but she's also so strong, so confident. I wish I had at least an ounce of the courage she has. "What does it matter? I'm just uncomfortable."

"Well, a good comfortable means you're just a bit nervous around her because maybe you feel something for her—more than knowing that she's just the girl who's working for your parents. A bad uncomfortable means you're afraid to be around her, that she makes you nervous in a bad way, like she could possibly harm you."

I take in what she just said. "No. I don't get the feeling she'd harm me."

"Okay. Good. Because if you felt that way, I'd turn this car around and go back home."

I smile. "You'd do that for me?"

"Of course. I would never place you in a dangerous situation. You know that, right?" She glances over, waiting for me to agree. I nod. "Good." Rosé focuses back on the road. I know she wouldn't put me in harm's way. I lean my head back against the headrest, feeling a bit more at ease, and listen to Rosé chat away for the rest of the ride.

Two hours later, according to our navigation system, we've reached our destination. I straighten in the passenger seat. Rosé drives down a long dirt path, which is supposed to lead us to the lake house. I look around, taking in the beauty of the outdoors. Who knew nature could create such perfection? It's like a work of art. Trees of all different colors and textures surround us, and the sun shines down in patches on the leaves and plants covering the forest floor. It's stunning, peaceful. I roll down the passenger window and lean my head out to catch the warm breeze on my skin and in my hair. Breathing feels effortless here. It doesn't feel like a task or a struggle.

Light strokes of the wind brush my face. I shut my eyes and continue to just…breathe, letting the alluring sounds of nature fill my ears. It's quiet, like the only sounds in the world are the ones around me: leaves lightly rustling against one another in the breeze, buzzing of early summer insects, and birds chirping merrily. I haven't even seen the house or the lake yet, but right now, at this very moment, I feel at peace. I feel safe. It's the strangest sensation. So much time has passed since I've experienced it, it feels abnormal, yet right at the same time. I wish I could freeze this moment and stay here forever.

"We're here!" Rosé lets out a squeal. Her car comes to an abrupt stop, jerking me forward in my seat. I flash my eyes open as I throw my arms out against the dash. Wow. The lake house is much more than I pictured. I expected a tiny cottage—which would be fine—but I didn't expect this. A large two-story cabin sits proudly in a grassy clearing before us. The tall glass windows, wrapped around both the lower and upper levels, provide a perfect view of the inside. Just behind the home is the lake, encircled by tall trees.

Rosé and I exit the car. I stand just outside the passenger side with the door wide open, taking it all in. I hear the trunk open and close before Rosé interrupts my reverie. "Hey, want to help me out over here?" I turn around and see her struggling to roll both pieces of our luggage on the dirt driveway.

"We'll help out with those," Mingyu calls out as he and JK jog over.

"See you guys found your way," JK says with a smile as he grabs a suitcase. Mingyu grabs the other.

"Yeah. The GPS took us the long route, but we eventually made it," Rosé says, stretching her limbs. We're both a little achy from the three-hour drive.

Mingyu smiles modestly. "I should have told you there was construction on the main road so it would reroute you a different way. Sorry."

Rosé waves her hand. "No worries. It was great bonding time. Wasn't it, Jennie?"

"Yeah." I shut the car door.

Mingyu jerks his head toward the house. "Well, let me show you guys where you'll be staying."

Rosé runs up between JK and Mingyu and starts chatting away as I follow closely behind. We reach the front porch and enter the home. It's exactly what you'd hope a lake house would be like: open, airy, and bright. The oversized sectional and two recliners in the living area give the space a more masculine look. There's no art on the wall, but there are a few large collage frames hanging over to one side, which I'm guessing are filled with family photos.

We follow the guys up the stairs and into one of the five bedrooms with two twin beds. They place our luggage down. "This is where you girls will be staying. I hope it's okay?" Mingyu asks.

I slowly whirl around, meeting him eye to eye. "Yes. It's perfect, thank you."

He nods once. "All right. We'll let you girls get settled in." He glances at his watch. "It's only six. We have food in the kitchen if you're hungry. People will start arriving around eight."

"It'll be fun, girls," JK says to us, but his focus is entirely on Rosé who's by the door, smiling flirtatiously in return. Mingyu grips JK by the shoulder and hauls him out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

I let out a large huff. "What are we doing here?"

Rosé gives me a distraught look and then places both hands to her hips. Here comes dramatic Rosé. "What do you mean by 'What are we doing here?' You said it was okay, that we should come. Please don't tell me you're having second thoughts."

"It just feels bizarre. Earlier today I had an argument with my mother, an episode. Now I'm here, standing in a room at a lake house that's owned by the contractors working for my parents." I toss a hand in the air. "None of that strikes you as odd? Not even a little bit?"

Rosé drops her arms, walks over, and grips my biceps. "Odd? No. Exciting? Yes. Loosen up a bit." She shimmies my arms. "Tonight will be fun. I promise. We'll leave first thing tomorrow morning if you're still feeling this way."

I raise a brow in question. "Promise?"

She brings a hand to her chest. "Promise."

"Okay, let's go downstairs, then."

"Attagirl!"

..

Rosé and I are introduced to the other three guys—Jimin, Suga, and RM—who are also working on the guesthouse for my parents. They seem like nice guys, though I can't help but notice that Lisa isn't around. No one has mentioned her, and I don't want to seem interested, so I leave it at that. We're all sitting around the kitchen table and the guys are telling us how these summer parties of theirs work.

"And you have one every weekend for the entire summer?" Rosé asks, very entertained by their stories.

Mingyu answers, "Pretty much. We started seven years ago for my twenty-first birthday and it's been a thing ever since." He takes a sip of his beer. All the guys and Rosé are drinking already. I'm sure I'll be babysitting her the rest of the night.

"When's your birthday?" I ask.

He looks at me from across the table and his face lights up with a huge grin. "Tomorrow, actually."

Rosé leans over the table, her breasts practically spilling out of her low-cut shirt. "Na-uh. Shut up!" He laughs at her and nods. "Well, happy birthday! We have to do something special for you."

I roll my eyes, shake my head, and look toward the living area just as the front door swings open. Lisa steps in, wiping the dirt of her shoes along the welcome rug. My heart does a backflip and starts crashing around in my chest. I saw her this morning. She saw me this morning. I feel embarrassed now. The way I looked. The way I acted. She witnessed all of it.

"Lisa, my budd." JK jumps up from the chair beside Mingyu and spreads his arms, greeting Lisa.

Lisa nods at JK and heads over to us. My face heats up and I avert my eyes. Can anyone hear my heartbeat right now? It's so loud.

"Hey, guys." She looks around the table, and I gaze up at her just as her eyes land on me. A shocked expression appears on her features, and then she relaxes with a smile. "Glad you ladies could make it."

"Thanks. Lisa, right?" Rosé asks.

"Yeah, it's Lisa. Not Nisa or Risa. Just Lisa." She grins at me.

Oh. My. God. Did anyone else catch that? I look around furtively. No one's paying attention, thank God. My chest expands in relief.

Lisa walks over to the fridge, right behind where Rosé is seated, and pulls out a beer. "What time you guys get here?" She shuts the fridge, turns around, and looks at JK and Mingyu, waiting for a response from them as she chugs down a beer.

JK scratches the back of his head. "Um, around five. Right?" He looks over to Mingyu for confirmation.

"Yeah, around five. My father keep you late?" Mingyu asks.

Lisa leans against the kitchen counter beside the fridge. I look down at my half-empty glass of water. This clear glass is quite interesting all of a sudden. "Yep," Lisa replies, popping the P.

JK laughs. "Well, what did you expect? You knew that bullshit lie about helping a stranded girl on the street wasn't gonna fly with your uncle. You should've just said you slept in. I think he'd respect that a bit more."

My heart just dropped. The stranded girl is me. I'm the girl she pulled over for this morning. I'm the girl she waited patiently with until Rosé arrived. I think I'm going to be sick. I look up at Rosé. She glances at me with a concerned look and flicks her brows as if asking, "Are you okay?" I nod and stand quickly, trying to keep calm. "Excuse me. I have to use the bathroom."

"There's one over by the living area." Mingyu points toward the right of him. I dart straight to the bathroom and press my back into the door the moment I close it.

What the hell are you doing here, Jennie? My mind begins to race with thoughts. At least they're my thoughts for a change. This is ridiculous. It's times like this I wish I knew how to drive; I'd jump into Rosé's car, speed out of here, and never look back. As far as I can tell, the only people that know about this morning are Lisa, Rosé, and me. If anyone else knew, I think I'd be sick. Beyond sick. People would start asking questions, and questions lead to more questions. And unanswered questions lead to curiosity. I can't have that. It's bad enough Lisa probably thinks less of me.

I breathe in and out evenly, stepping to the sink to dab my face with cool water. Once I'm pulled together, I step out. Rosé's face is the first thing I see when I open the door. She scares the living daylights out of me. "What are you doing standing there like that?"

"I heard you talking to yourself," she whispers, which is really a harsh non-whisper because Rosé is the worst whisperer ever.

Shit. I look around. The guys are no longer in the kitchen. "Did anyone else hear?"

"No." She drops her crossed arms. "They're in the back, getting things ready for the party. It's starting in an hour." She pauses. "Jennie, I know how you feel when people ask this, but—"

"Yes, I brought my medication," I interrupt.

"Are you taking them?" She sighs heavily. "Don't give me that look. I had to ask."

"Don't." I raise a finger to her chest. "Don't ever ask again. I know what I'm doing. This is supposed to be a good weekend. Don't ruin it by acting like her."

Rosé's shoulders relax. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. You're right. This is going to be an awesome weekend. Come on, let's go have some fun." She wraps her arm around my shoulder and hustles me out back onto a large deck where the guys are hanging around.

I'm supposed to be having fun right now, but all I'm trying to do is steer clear of Lisa. I keep my distance. Every time I catch her staring at me, I look away. I stay close to Rosé and watch as new partiers arrive.

..

The party has filled out with over thirty people—all drunk, of course. Rosé is all over JK. At least she's having a good time. Lisa is playing cards with Mingyu and a few girls at one of the tables. I guess she got the hint; she hasn't looked at me once over the past hour.

It's the perfect moment to escape, so I climb down the steps of the deck and look past the trees, toward the lake. No one's there, so I head to the waterfront. I reach the end of the dock and take a seat. With my feet dangling over the edge and my arms crossed, I inhale and exhale a fresh breath of air. The music from the house becomes distant. I zone it out, focusing on the image before me. I watch the sun set as blue, purple, pink, orange, and yellow paint the sky. The reflection bounces off the lake and ripples when a light breeze whips by. I try to picture myself home at this very moment. I'd probably be stuck in my room, but I'd rather be here.

I've probably been sitting here for about twenty minutes when I hear the dock's floorboard creak loudly. Startled, I turn around to see what it is. Lisa is walking over with two beer bottles in each hand, a warm smile spread across her features. I swallow hard, taking her in fully for the first time. Every other time I've been around Lisa, I've been too wrapped up in my own head to really pay attention. She has a great physique, tall and toned. Her broad shoulders could belong to a linebacker. Brown hair, is a perfect contrast to her clear blue eyes. She's wearing loose jeans that hang low on her waist, and her confident, carefree attitude is obvious in the way she carries herself. She's got sex appeal, that's for sure. I'm certain other girls can't resist her.

With every step she takes, the more ragged my breathing becomes. I'm nervous, and I have no idea why. I've been purposely avoiding her the entire evening. I think it's because she saw one of my meltdowns this morning. She probably thinks I was having some type of boy trouble or something. Little does she know she witnessed one of my mild episodes.

"Hey," she says as she reaches me. "Mind if I join you?"

Yes. "No."

She sits beside me as another light breeze blows by us. I inhale her scent. "So are you enjoying yourself?"

God, my eyes are closed. Did I seriously just close my eyes to breathe in her scent? I flutter my lashes open. Embarrassed and momentarily distracted, I blurt out, "Huh? Oh, yes. Yes, I am." She extends her arm, offering me a beer. "No, thank you. I don't drink."

"Never?" She raises a brow.

"No. Well, I used to. Not anymore."

Lisa wrinkles her nose. "Bad experience, huh?" I answer with a nod and turn my head back to the lake. "Are you girls thinking of staying tomorrow too?" She cracks open a beer for herself and takes a gulp.

"Probably not. We'll probably leave in the morning."

"You should think about sticking around. We have a barbeque going on in the afternoon, and then we usually jump in the lake and have a few drinks." She chuckles. "Although you don't have to partake in the drinking." I try to hold back a smile. She leans forward and I look over at her; she's staring directly at me. "Are you smiling?" she asks with a large grin.

"I think it's funny that you used the term partake."

"I think it's nice to see you smile." Her smile wavers, and she raises a brow. "Why do you do that?"

I look down at my feet swinging beneath me. "Do what?"

"You instantly stop smiling the moment I mention it. It's okay to smile, especially out here." I peek up at her. She spreads her arms wide, bottle in hand, and looks around. "No one will catch you."

"I'm not afraid of anyone catching me."

She nods, takes another swig of her beer, and looks straight ahead, across the lake. "Then what are you afraid of?"

Myself. "Nothing." I steer the conversation away from me. "It's beautiful out here. Thank you for inviting us. I'd probably be home watching TV or sleeping right now."

"Sleeping? It's only eight…nine…eight or nine." She takes a sip of her beer.

"Yeah, well I don't exactly live the high life." She laughs at my response. We look at each other. Her grin is contagious; I smile back at her. It's a light smile, and I know I'm doing it this time. I just hope she doesn't mention it. Lisa drops her stare to my lips and her eyes linger there. For a moment, I watch her watching me. My smile slowly fades, and I don't know if it's a nervous reaction or a physiological one, but my tongue darts out to wet my lips. When it does, she tears her eyes away, taking another gulp of her beer, and the moment is gone.

"So how long has your family had the lake house?" I ask, hoping to cover the awkward moment.

"About twenty years," she answers, but she doesn't look back at me. She's focused down on the beer bottle, twirling it in her hand.

"Oh, wow. That's a long time. It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is. When my uncle George purchased the land over twenty years ago, he barely had two dimes to rub together." She shrugs, still twirling the bottle. "It was a deal he couldn't pass up. He used all his savings on the land itself and purchased lumber and other items little by little until he had enough to build a small cottage. Originally, it was a two-bedroom, eight-hundred-square-foot cabin, not the four-thousand-square-foot party house it is today."

I smile, trying to picture a small cabin where the large home now rests. "How did it get the way it is now?"

Lisa brings the rim of the bottle to her lips and tilts her head back, chugging the rest of the beer. I swallow as I watch her lips curl into a smile around the rim. After she finishes, she places the beer down and looks up at me with a lopsided grin. "As my uncle's business increased and more money came in, he began expanding the home. When Mingyu, my brother, Jackson, and I were in our teens, my uncle came up with a new tradition. Every summer, we'd come here and help with expansions and renovations until it became what it is now."

"That's amazing."

"It is. The thing is…" She lifts one leg, leaves the other dangling, and twirls her body so that she's facing me but not looking at me. Her focus is over her left shoulder, on the house set back from the dock. "You'd think three teenage kids would want to spend their summers partying around, but we looked forward to helping with the lake house every year. There's a piece of each of us in there." She nods her head toward the property. "I guess that's why we make it a point to still come. I mean it's not like it used to be, filled with family, but I guess people grow and change."

"Yeah. People do."

Lisa reaches for another beer bottle and twists it open. "So what's your story?"

"I don't have one," I reply automatically, but my words come out flat.

"Everyone has a story, Jennie." My name on her tongue sounds foreign, odd, but nice.

"Mine's not worth telling."

"I doubt that."

I snap my head over irritably. "Why are you so interested?"

She shrugs, trying to school her features despite my nasty outburst. "I just think you're interesting. That's all. Is that a problem?"

"Trust me, the last thing you need is to know anything about my life. And the last thing I need is someone else judging me. So save yourself and become uninterested. Okay?" I hop to my feet. When I look down at her, a sigh escapes me and I relax my shoulders. She was sweet this morning, and now I'm being a bitch. "Look, I'm sorry for that. Just ignore me, okay? Thank you for being friendly."

I turn to walk away. Halfway down the dock she calls out, "I didn't tell anyone it was you this morning." I stop, but I don't look back.

"Thank you," is all I can say. Before she has the chance to say another word, I walk away, following the path back to the house. I climb the stairs to the deck and pass the partiers, who are now in various stages of inebriation. Rosé is sitting on JK's lap on a patio chair. He hands her another shot glass; she tosses her head back and takes it. But the liquor must be too strong for her to handle. It's either that or she's over her limit because she spits it back out, coughing.

"Oh shit." JK laughs.

I storm over. "Come on, Rosé. You've had enough. It's time for bed." I grip her arm and she stands sluggishly, stumbling into me.

"Oh, come on! It's still early. The party just started!" JK raises his arms, begging.

"No. She's had enough."

Mingyu stands up. He seems to be the only other person besides me that's not stupid drunk. "I'll help you get her up the steps."

"Thank you," I reply. He tosses Rosé's arm around his shoulder, grabs her waist, and hauls her in the house and up the stairs.

As soon as Rosé is settled in one of the twin beds and Mingyu leaves, I lock the bedroom door and place a chair securely underneath the knob. I check the tiny closet in the room. It's clear. Then I make sure the window is locked and the curtains are drawn before hiding myself underneath the unfamiliar comforter and forcing myself asleep.

..

..

..