All of Harry Potter and anything related to it are the sole property of J.K. Rowling.
(Each title is derived from a song that, I believe, complements the overall narrative, if not the individual chapter.)
Hogwarts November 1996
The majority of October was spent alone in that room, and while in there, it was strange to be by myself now. It was too quiet, and it always felt like the room was waiting for words to be spoken, as if it craved them. It was a bit disconcerting in moments when my focus shifted away from my schoolwork. It also was a shock all the times I went to do an assignment and found I had already done it. I had taken Draco's advice and gotten myself a journal so I could remind myself, in short notes, what I had done in that room.
I'd look over at him in confusion sometimes, wondering what possessed me to even talk to him, but I felt a bit bad for him when I saw him sitting by himself, completely ignoring his friends a few seats away. This morning, his eyes had met mine, with a frown that looked just as confused as mine. Blaise Zabini suddenly leaned over to him and said something that made him laugh, but even from here, I could tell he wasn't really amused, just reacting as he was expected to. It annoyed me that I knew that, and I looked back to focus on my breakfast and my book.
I had a free period first up, so I decided to head to the room where I knew I would be away from the new couple and a slimy McLaggen. Harry gave me a sympathetic smile as I stood up but otherwise said nothing.
"See you in Herbology," I told him.
"I'll save you a seat," he agreed with a nod. I nodded back gratefully and walked away, knowing he was just as uncomfortable with Ginny's relationship with Dean as I was with Ron and Lavender. It wasn't a long trip to the room, just down the short corridor from Filches office, and soon I was making myself comfortable on the exceedingly plush bedding and pillows. Less than five minutes later, something new happened. A wall opened into a dark corridor, and out came Malfoy.
"What the hell are…?" He started, but I stopped him as I leaned up.
"No, that is my line this time. What the hell are you doing here, Draco? Don't you know how to keep a promise?" I demanded to know as I sat on my knees.
"Did you just call me Draco?" He asked with raised eyebrows, and the wall closed behind him. I flushed when I realised I had used his name.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"Don't be; I liked it," he said as he paced into the room and then winced. "I had not missed that," he mumbled in annoyance.
"Why are you here?" I asked again.
"Thanks to you staring at me this morning, I found myself distracted while attempting to open the Room of Requirement, and somehow I ended up here," he said with a shrug.
"I didn't know the room could take you to a person," I said, a bit disconcerted by that and, for some reason, glad that I wasn't alone in this room.
"You learn something new every day," he agreed with another shrug.
"And for your information, I was not staring; I was just contemplating on why I would have spoken to you about a diary, and then I noticed that you didn't seem happy," I told him in a reasonable voice.
"Well, your contemplation was rather distracting and didn't go unnoticed by others at my table," he drawled, annoyance lacing his tone.
"I will try not to do that in the future then," I told him.
"I like you looking at me. Damn it!" He shouted, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Sorry. I've also forgotten to watch what I say, but I like that you said it," I replied, and then felt my cheeks heat in my own embarrassment. He smirked at me, which, for some reason, made me feel better. Maybe because it reminded me of his usual self, and he seemed different in here to me.
"How goes the crush on the Weasel?" he asked and went to sit at the desk.
I flushed once again and said, "He is oblivious, so how is it that you of all people know?"
"Slytherin's are an observant bunch," he replied with an unconcerned shrug.
"How are you and Pansy?" I asked, just to get him back.
"She wrote to her father to complain, but it hasn't changed anything for me. No amount of persuasion on his part will ever make me love her, and she shouldn't want me too," he said, looking sad about that.
"That is actually very sweet," I replied with surprise.
"Hardly," he scoffed dismissively. "Had circumstances been different, and I wasn't forced to see the truths I am living now, I would have happily married her and then taken a mistress. I could've even had you then, Granger," he said with a smirk playing on his lips.
"Pig!" I said in outrage. "I would never be anyone's mistress."
"What about my one time?" Draco queried, a genuine spark of curiosity in his grey eyes. I opened my mouth to say an instant no, and nothing came out, horrifying me. He looked just as shocked and then turned to look at the walls. "I've been giving this room some thought," he said, suddenly changing the subject, his tone laced with the classic Malfoy arrogance. "Well, as much as I could from the notes I made, and I believe it must be directly over the ward stone. I don't know why it didn't occur to me before, but it is the only explanation I have for the peculiar light and the conspicuous absence of dust."
"Wouldn't the House Elves clean it?" I asked as I looked around the room in speculation now too.
"Have you seen the other unused areas? Lots of dust and cobwebs. I don't believe they would bother," he replied.
"Maybe not," I agreed. We were silent again for a while, and I started to play absently with a book cover until I felt his eyes on me. "What?" I asked suspiciously.
"I feel bad that I didn't get you a birthday gift and would like to give you one now," he said with a shrug.
"Why?" I asked, still suspicious. I didn't believe for a moment that he cared about my birthday, but being in this room, I had to believe he was sincere, no matter how absurd the notion seemed.
"Because I want to, and I so rarely get to do things I want to do anymore," he said, getting up and coming over to me.
"What are you doing?" I asked in alarm as he knelt next to me.
He rolled his eyes and said, "I told you I wanted to give you a gift."
"What is it?" I asked hesitantly.
"A kiss," he said, and then leaned forward to do just that while I was still too stunned to react to his warm lips pressing against mine. He signed and leaned back. "You know this works so much better if you kiss back."
"But nobody wants to kiss me, and I have never wanted to kiss you," I said, sounding as confused as I felt. He laughed loudly at that.
"Now who is clueless, Granger? You are beautiful, and if you had given Krum just a hint of wanting him too, he would have been all over you. Not to mention your latest stalker; you have had quite a few admirers, and the only thing holding back the Slytherin's is current times."
"You're wrong," I whispered, my heart racing. I almost couldn't understand what he was saying to me, and I felt confused with him sitting this close to me.
"Do you want me to kiss you now, Granger?" He asked, stroking one finger down my check.
I swallowed hard as I looked back into his questioning eyes and wanted to shake my head in a no; instead, what came out was an uncertain, "I don't know."
"Good," he smiled and leaned in to kiss me again. I held back for a second, and then my lips seemed to take on a life of their own. I didn't know how it happened, but when I started thinking again, I was lying back on the pillows with him leaning over me, his hands in my hair and mine gripping his back. He hummed in annoyance suddenly and leaned back away from me. "I literally felt you shut down," he said as he sat up.
"This is wrong," I whispered, and wondered for a second if I was cheating on Ron. Then I realised how dim-witted that was; we were not a couple, and he was most definitely with Lavender at the moment.
"Yes, it is, but you taste great," he said, and then started to laugh. I got embarrassed, thinking he was laughing at me. "I cannot believe the preposterous things this room has me saying out loud."
"I don't know what to do," I said, sitting up and scooting away from him.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I feel like I am betraying everyone and everything just by being here with you, and yet I would love to keep kissing you," I said, and I really wished a filter rune had been put on this room.
"I know what you mean," he said with a nod of his own.
"I think the door opened a bit ago, and we have Herbology soon," I said, changing the subject.
"This is going to be a strange entry to read about later," he said with a chuckle as he pulled his diary out to make notes in.
"You can't write this down," I said, appalled.
"Of course, I can," he said, continuing to write.
"What if someone sees it?" I asked with alarm.
"The diary's charmed to appear as mere class notes to anyone else," he responded nonchalantly, continuing to write.
"I did the same to mine," I said, but I hadn't started on any notes. I reached up to touch my hair and encountered large knots. With a gasp, I dove for my bag and hairbrush inside. I started yanking the thing through my hair in a panic and knew the frizz was going to be bad today. I glanced at him and saw his eyes narrow as he watched me with a disapproving expression.
"No wonder your hair is so wild," he commented, sounding annoyed.
"That is not helpful," I growled.
"Do you want me to be helpful?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.
"Do you know how to be?" I groused back but nodded and handed him the brush as if my head and hands had overridden my sarcasm. He chuckled and took it. He then reached into his bag and pulled out a canister of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion. He efficiently scooped some into his hand and then went behind me to smooth it through my hair before gliding the brush through the curls easily. He took his time and was careful, but sooner than I liked, he stopped. "Thank you; I have always loved my hair being brushed," I said, then blushed again.
"It was rather soothing. My mother is quite fond of it too," he said with a touch of something I couldn't place in his voice, but I knew this time he had shared that freely.
The next day, I didn't get to the room until the afternoon, and when my eyes landed on the blanket and my memories came back, I flushed in embarrassment and disbelief. I couldn't believe I could allow myself to be kissed by Draco Malfoy, of all people. I had disliked him almost as long as I had been at Hogwarts, and though I had reluctantly thought the horrible boy was good-looking I thought his ever-present smirk and distain was enough to turn that pretty face into nothing I would want to look at often.
The door opened, pushing me forward with an oomph of surprise, and I turned just in time to see him smiling at me in a way that made everything I had just been thinking untrue. That smile I couldn't imagine anyone getting sick of.
"Why were you standing in front of the door?" he asked as he shut it behind him.
"I was thinking about you," I growled, and that had him raising his eyebrows, but he looked pleased. "What the hell are you doing here, D… Malfoy?" He smirked at my near slip but waltzed past me and wasted no time laying himself out on the blanket.
"I wrote myself a note saying that I could relax for half an hour a day in this room, and so here I am," he said with amusement.
"Well, change it!" I said, beyond annoyed with the twit. "You agreed that I could have this room."
"I still agree," he said.
"And yet you are here," I replied.
"Yes," he agreed again, and then laid back and sighed in contentment, his eyes closed. "I need to relax. Things are very stressful at the moment," he whispered finally, his eyes not opening, and I couldn't help but look down at him and study his face.
"Can't your friends help you?" I asked softly.
"I was forbidden to get help from anyone. Hasn't stopped a nosy Godfather from attempting though," he said and then his head snapped in my direction with his worried eyes open.
"Who is your Godfather?" I asked, not touching the first part of what he said.
"Snape," he replied with obvious relief.
"No wonder you got away with so much in his class," I said with a huff, allowing myself to sit next to him on the floor.
"Not really," he said with a chuckle. "He shows me no more favouritism in that class than any other Slytherin, but it does help that I am actually very good at potions. I suppose I should also confess that he was teaching me the basics before I ever set foot in Hogwarts, so that may be considered favouritism," he mused towards the end. "So, what were your thoughts about me?" he asked with that smirk on his face when it became clear I had nothing else to say. I felt my eyes spit fire at him in my fury, but the room made me speak.
"I was thinking about how I have hated you for your snark, arrogance, and prejudice since almost the moment I started Hogwarts and that it was a pity you scowled so much because you have a beautiful face," I said, sounding as angry as I felt.
"Not as beautiful as yours," he said, reaching up and brushing a piece of hair back behind my ear that swung forward again before his hand was taken away.
"You hate me too," I said in frustration.
"I did, but that was more because of your breeding than who you are, and the only thing I truly disliked was your superiority and insistence on being a know-it-all," he said, his fingers making tingles dance along my jaw line as he brushed his fingertips along it. I leaned back so he couldn't reach me and regretted the lack of contact at once.
"You don't hate me now? And I have never been superior," I added with my arms crossed. He smirked at me at that.
"No, I haven't been able to truly hate you since the moment you Muggle-punched me and broke my nose," he said sincerely.
"Muggle-punched? Seriously?" I asked with a laugh, my arms falling back down to my sides.
"What else am I supposed to call it?" He quired, leaning up on one arm, putting him closer to me again.
"A punch to the face?" I suggested reasonably.
"You could have used your wand to the same effect," he said as he reached out to touch my face again.
"It wouldn't have been nearly as satisfying, and will you stop touching me?!" I demanded, trying to sound outraged, but I didn't even move away this time.
"No, and do you even want me to?" he asked.
Once again, I growled, but I said, "No."
"Cheer up, Granger. It's not like it hurts," he said and then winced as something flashed in his eyes. I opened my mouth to ask, but he stopped me with a head shake and a firm, "Don't." I swallowed as the butterflies started up again, and he leaned closer to me.
"I'm going to kiss you again now. Safer than talking, I believe," he said, then planted his mouth on mine. I didn't even try to fight it this time, even though in the back of my mind I knew I was horrified by what was happening here. He was an expert at laying me down without breaking contact between our mouths, and soon I found myself in the same position as yesterday. All of that was fine until I felt the fingers of his left hand skim the bottom of my breast, and I had to break my face away from his.
"What are you doing?" I meant it to sound accusing, but it just came out as curiosity.
"I would love to see these," he said, skimming the bottom of my covered breast again, but his eyes were meeting mine.
"I… I… I…" I stammered.
"Has no one seen them?" he asked curiously.
"Of course not!" and that time I did sound offended.
"Will you let me?" he asked, and I felt my face heat to an unimaginable degree.
"I don't know," I finally got out.
"Let's attempt this once more, shall we? Do you want me to touch them?" he asked as he skimmed the bottom of the same one and it made me shiver, as pleasant tingles went through me. He watched me and smiled at the reaction. "Don't you want more of that feeling?"
"Yes," I whispered, and then covered my embarrassed face, almost ready to cry.
"Hey, don't cry," he said, coming further up my body so he could pull my hands down. He kissed me on the lips again and said, "I won't make you do anything you don't want to do."
"That is the problem. I don't know what I want to do," I replied miserably.
"I'll go slowly then," he said. I nodded, and he went back to kissing me. I tried not to tense as I felt him undoing buttons on my blouse, but I couldn't stop the nervous shaking that had started. He reached his hand slowly inside, bra and all, and skimmed across a nipple that hardened at once, and I let out a surprised gasp at the pleasure that simple touch had elicited.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I managed to gasp out with confusion. So many thoughts were travelling through my head that I could barely think straight, but they all boiled down to how wrong this was, and a tear escaped my eye.
"Because you are the only good thing in my world at the moment," he whispered, moving to kiss my collarbone. I shuddered, but tears were still making my eyes wet with the confusing thoughts. He moved lower and kissed the soft skin between my breasts, and I couldn't take any more. The pleasure was unbelievable, but I had to stop this, so I pushed myself out from under him, quickly got to my feet, and started buttoning my blouse. A rogue tear slid down my face, and I dashed it away impatiently. When I looked at him, he was sitting on his knees, watching me with an unreadable expression on his face.
"Are you going to say anything?" I asked as I paced like the caged and agitated animal I felt like.
"I have nothing to say," he said carefully.
"Don't you have a girlfriend or fiancé or something?" I asked as I started to rub my suddenly cold arms.
"Girlfriend, no, and if I have my way, I will not have a fiancé soon either," he replied calmly.
I gave him an appalled look at that. I felt like I was cheating so many people, myself included, but the most frustrating part was that I didn't know how I was cheating myself in this moment. The door clicked opened, and I swooped down for my bag and flew out of there without looking back. The rest of the day, I could not figure out why I felt so disconcerted and oddly flushed.
"What the hell are you doing here, Draco?" I said as I walked through the door the next day to see him reclining on the blanket, reading a book. He turned to me with a smile that had butterflies start instantly in my stomach.
"Waiting for you, of course," he replied, even as all the memories of the day before came back. My hand went across my mouth at it all. "Are you alright?" he asked as he sat up and put the book aside.
"Yes. Yes, I think so," I answered, but leaned back against the door, too afraid to get close to him.
"Did I push too far yesterday?" he asked, watching me worriedly. I shook my head.
"No, I just became overwhelmed. Unlike you, I am a virgin," I said, thanks to the lack of filter on the room, and blushed again.
"I'm a virgin," he said, surprising me. He then tilted his head and added, "Well, mostly." I raised my eyebrows at that, wondering what that even meant. He chuckled at the look. "As a pureblood, I know the dangers of being careless. One must be extremely careful," he warned me pretentiously, "or one might find oneself in a matrimonial bond before one can utter a word."
"What have you done?" I asked before I could stop myself, and his eyes widened in surprise, but the room forced him to answer.
"Last year, I let Pansy suck me off," he said, but he didn't look pleased or smug about it.
"Why would she do that?" I asked, shocked. He shook his head and chuckled.
"She seemed to think that it would prove what sort of wife she would be to me. She wanted me to touch her, but…" he shook his head and looked away. "I have never been attracted to her," he confessed.
"Have you ever touched any other girls?" I asked, despite myself.
"A few and I fingered a half-blood last year while we made out. It was great," he said, and then winced. I felt my belly clench at the crude words and had to look away. "That pique your interest, Granger?" he asked but thankfully he wasn't teasing.
"Yes, but not now." I was so glad I could add that last part. He did smile then, when I looked back at him.
"What is it you do want then?" he asked. I looked down his body and just really wanted to know what he looked like under all that black material.
"You tried to take my shirt off yesterday, and now I would like to do the same," I confessed, feeling a bit smug. He went to smile and then frowned, his hand going self-consciously to his inner left forearm. I watched the action and swallowed in fear. His eyes met mine, and looked just as fearful.
"I would like that, but do you mind if I leave the shirt on?" He asked, sounding vulnerable. I just nodded, and gathering all my Gryffindor courage, went to kneel in front of him on the blanket. We stared into each other's eyes as I started on the first button, but it wasn't erotic; it was to gauge the others' reactions.
That lasted until my first touch of bare skin, and I had to look down and see just what I was touching. He seemed to relax at the same moment. His skin was so pale, but it had definition, and he had a light smattering of soft white-blonde hair that started on his chest, and then there was a little line of the same blonde hair that travelled from his belly button and disappeared into his trousers. Without thinking, I used the front of a finger to brush the hair, and his stomach clenched in while a bulge pushed insistently at the material of his trousers. I bit my lip and turned away in embarrassment at noticing it.
"Don't stop," he said, bringing my attention back to him. He laid back down on the blanket and pillows with his shirt wide open, watching me. I returned to his chest and hesitatingly laid my whole hand on his surprisingly muscular body.
I imagined this was what a runner, or perhaps a swimmer, would look like. His nipples were smaller than mine, but they puckered into hard points when I skimmed my fingers over one. I looked at the other hard one and pushed down on it with a fingertip, and he sighed as if he liked the feeling. The sound made me brave, and I lean down to kiss the spot where he had kissed me yesterday.
The skin was soft, but the little hairs tickled my nose. I kissed slowly to one side and then hesitantly stuck my tongue out and pushed at the hardened nipple. I felt his body tense and looked up to see his eyes clenched shut, and he had a tight grip on the blanket either side of him. His eyes opened when he felt me looking at him.
"That feels so unbelievably good," he said breathily. I smiled and leaned back down to lay another kiss on his chest, then started for the other nipple. This time I let my tongue brush right over the top of it, and I decided I liked the hard feeling of it against the appendage. I gave a little suck and then bit down gently with it between my teeth just to see if I could. "Oh, fuck," he said, raising his hips in the air for a second. I couldn't help but chuckle as an admonishment entered my head, but I had no desire to admonish him now.
"My turn," he said, suddenly sitting up and grabbing me by the arms.
"But… wait… what?" I stammered out as I found myself flat on my back. I huffed when he was above me. "I wasn't finished!" I told him with annoyance, and he chuckled.
"You have no idea how much it turns me on to hear you say that," he stated with a touch of arrogance.
"Me too," I said, and my eyes widened at the admission, which had him chuckling again.
"In the interest of fairness, I should get to see as much of you as you've seen of me," he declared even as he started on my buttons. I opened my mouth to protest, my bra flitting through my mind, but then I bit my lip when I realised I didn't want to stop him.
"How Hufflepuff of you," I mumbled, and he laughed again. In the end, I had to help him take my blouse right off just so he could get to the clasp in the back of my bra. I was self-conscious and had trouble letting it go when it was undone, but he didn't mind and started kissing his way down my chest again, and soon the sensations had me so consumed that I barely noticed when he gently moved a cup out of the way.
I was surprised by his groan of pleasure when he put his lips to my nipple, but it was soon overridden by my own. Before I realised it, the bra was down by my side, and I was writhing in pleasure as he sucked on me and caressed the other breast. It wasn't until we heard the click of the door being released that we seemed to come to our senses.
He took a deep breath and turned his head to lay it between my breasts. Not knowing what else to do and feeling a bit unsure now, I reach down and ran my fingers tentatively through his hair. He let out a contented sigh. Feeling braver, I plunged my fingers further into the white-blonde strands and marvelled at how soft it felt and how much I was enjoying being able to touch him.
"See, I told you I could come here and relax for half an hour," he said.
"That was hardly relaxing," I disagreed at once, my heart still racing, and it made him chuckle against me. I smiled despite myself. Seeming reluctant, he sat up and handed me my bra. He started on his buttons but watched me as I dressed myself and shook his head when I was covered.
"Will you be writing about this, Granger?" He asked, looking a bit smug as he pulled his bag with his diary towards himself.
"Hardly," I answered automatically, and because the room wanted more, I added, "If I did that, I most likely wouldn't return." He laughed uproariously at that.
"Please don't write a thing then," he said, still amused. He then surprised me by leaning forward and kissing me quickly on the lips. "I'll see you tomorrow." And got up and left the room. When I was presentable, I left the room and then spent the rest of the day wondering why my breasts felt so sensitive and eventually had to double check that I wasn't due for my monthlies.
"What the hell are you doing here, Draco?" I demanded as I walked through the door the next day to see him reclining on the blanket, leaning up, and watching the door expectantly.
"Now who has the catchphrase?" He asked, making me frown, until I remembered my comment about a t-shirt. When he saw the memories where back he said, "Are we risking conversation today or skipping straight to the relaxation portion of the day?" He wiggled his eyebrows in exaggeration, and I laughed despite myself, even as I found the look slightly creepy.
"Please never do that again. That was truly disturbing," I laughed, and he laughed too.
"Felt odd to do," he admitted.
"Is there anything we can safely talk about?" I asked with interest and walked a wide circle around him until I was able to put my bag on the table and sit down in the chair. He laid back on the pillows so he could watch me.
"I honestly don't know," he replied sincerely, looking away guiltily. I would have asked anyone else what was wrong, but knew that would be a dangerous question to ask him, so pushed the inclination away.
"Have you been invited to the Slug-club?" I asked, thinking I had found a safe topic.
"I couldn't care less about some daft professor and his ridiculous club. He might have been a competent wizard once, but now he's nothing more than a blood traitor," he snapped automatically, and then looked at me in dismay. "I'm sorry. For a moment, it was as though I was talking to my friends," he said with a worried frown.
"Right," I said, absolutely offended and wondering what I was doing here if he still felt that way about people. He sat up and rubbed at his face impatiently. I felt angry and confused and wished I could leave the room. I was even more annoyed when I felt tears in my eyes, but I refused to cry. I turned instead and pulled an assignment from my bag that I had wanted to work on. He got up and came up behind me.
Leaning down, he kissed my neck and whispered, "I'm sorry." I stood angrily and moved away from him, hating how nice that had felt.
"Doesn't it make you a blood traitor to be in this room with me, Malfoy?" I yelled, and the tears threatened again, but I still managed to hold them off.
"I don't care about that!" he shouted, taking a step towards me even as I stepped back. "Those are my father's words. Words that are expected of me, but I don't think like that with you," he said pleadingly.
"And if it was Ginny Weasley?" I demanded, remembering what Harry had said he heard on the train.
"There is more to it than that with that family. We have a blood-feud between our Houses, so have no choice but to hate each other. Surely, you've noticed how utterly irrational the Weasel can be when it comes to me?" he said, a look of concern etched on his face.
I had noticed but hadn't really thought it was much beyond dim-witted boys until now. It should have occurred to me, though, now that I thought about the fight between Mr. Weasley and Mr. Malfoy. I didn't know if it changed anything. So much of the past was flowing through my mind as I looked at him, and for so long now, he had been my tormentor, had called me mud-blood every chance he got, and wished me dead on more than one occasion.
"I'm a mud-blood to you," I said with a calmness that had settled over me. He growled in frustration and pain and pulled on his hair.
"NO. NO. NO!" he yelled now and then threw himself toward me, grabbing me for a kiss. I just stood there defiantly. "KISS ME! I know you want to kiss me," he said desperately but I was standing cold in that moment.
"Not right now, I don't," I answered and moved away from him and went back to the table. I sat back down and started on my assignment, ignoring him completely.
He stood by the door for a good ten minutes before saying quietly, "Have you never hurt anyone? Not even by accident? Not even when all you truly desired was for them to see you?" he asked miserably. I huffed and put my quill down.
"I do not go out of my way to hurt anyone and if I had ever hurt anyone accidentally, I would have apologized if I learnt of it," I told him and I realised I did feel superior in that knowledge, making me frown when I remembered him accusing me of that. I then remembered how I had been treating Ron the last few days and the incident with the birds. "You have made me realise I do owe someone an apology, but I just don't think that will be happening anytime soon," I confessed.
"Can I ask who?" he asked hesitantly.
"Ron," I answered even though I didn't have to.
"Because of Lavender?" he asked coming closer and once again I was shocked by how much he knew and saw.
"How can this be?" I asked in exasperation. "I come here, and I want to be with you but out there all I can focus on is a stupid crush that isn't reciprocated."
"Yes, it is," he said, and he tentatively reached out to touch my hair, rubbing strands between his fingers.
"What do you mean?" I asked looking at him.
"Weasley is immature and not ready for you. He sees you, and you terrify him but trust me he wants you just as much as you appear to want him," he told me. My stomach clenched at the knowledge, but then I really looked at Draco and realised I felt the same way about him. "You could do so much better," he said looking into my eyes, making me swallow hard.
"Do you see me?" I whispered.
"More than is good for me, and unlike Weasley I don't have you gazing back at me in the same way," he said, brushing his fingers along my cheek now.
"Except in here," I whispered as fear and butterflies churned in my stomach.
"Yes. In here there are moments when you appear to see me," he agreed. "Can I kiss you now? I really am sorry," he added.
I felt a bit sick, but whispered, "Yes."
The next day I felt a touch of annoyance to see him there, but it was like I had expected it, so I just started across the room for the table when the memories returned.
"I was rather keen on hearing the catchphrase," he said, but still sounded unsure of his welcome after yesterday. We may have made up, but we had lost some of the comfort.
"It is a ridiculous thing to say," I said, pulling an assignment out of my bag.
"Yes, it is," he agreed, and sat up to see what I was doing. "So, any chance of playing today?" he asked. I looked at him in shock, and he just gave a cheeky but obviously hopeful grin back. I wanted to say no, but instead silence reigned as I thought about it and my conflicting feelings. Strangely, it was spotting Lavender and Ron heading into a broom closest earlier that decided me. I put my assignment back in my bag and then got up and went over to him, even as his eyes widened in surprise and happiness.
"No talking. Talking is dangerous," I said, and he chuckled.
"Yes, my lady," he said, then chuckled and moved in for a kiss. Just the sensation of his warm lips on mine had me sighing.
"Shut up, Malfoy," I said against his lips, and he laughed again, against mine, but wrapped his arm around me and pulled me down to the ground with him. Before I knew it, we were both topless, and I was writhing in pleasure again, but then he moved over, so he was cradled between my legs, and the hardness of him pressing against me had me crying out, "Oh, Merlin," in more pleasure than I thought was good for me.
Little did I know it would get so much better in the next moment as he started to rock, and before I could stop the sensation, I cried out incredibly loudly, "Oh, Merlin!" as my insides started to ripple as if trying to grab on to something that wasn't there, and he loudly groaned himself.
When he was done, he lifted to look at me in a bit of embarrassment and with a wry grin. I felt myself flush but smiled a bit myself, unable to deny the contented feeling inside. He got up and looked at himself and the mess on the front of his trousers before pulling a pillow over his lap to hide it.
"Well, that was fun," he said, and it was my turn to laugh at the blatant remark.
The next day, I was back in the room first, and even though he paused to let the memories flow back in he said, "You can't possibly comprehend the confusion I felt when I glanced down and saw the state of my trousers yesterday. I can't believe I never thought to use my wand to clean up before departing. I was fully aware of what it was, of course, but couldn't for the life of me fathom how it had occurred. Fortunately, I was able to clean up before I was spotted," he chatted happily as he got himself comfortable on the blanket and pillows. I was just watching him while chewing on the end of my featherless quill, thinking of it all myself. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
"We can't keep doing this," I said, even as I studied his face. I had seen him earlier and remembered my surge of empathy as he again sat away from his friends, looking as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
"Can't or shouldn't?" he asked.
"Both," I answered at once.
"But will we?" he asked, looking at me hopefully.
"Yes," I answered at once and then added, "Damn." I had thought I had mastered this and had convinced myself I could stop.
"So…" he said, playing coyly with the edge of the blanket before looking back up at me with a smirk. "What to attempt something more interesting today?" My cheeks heated at once.
"Like what?" I asked breathily.
"Depends," he said, sitting up to study me intently. "Do you want to touch me, or should I touch you?" My eyes were travelling down his body before I could stop myself, and I looked away and swallowed again before courage and the room had me answering.
"I would love to touch more of you," I said, then looked back to see what he thought.
He was frowning, but then he smiled wryly and said, "I was hoping you were going to go the other way."
"Well, I didn't so strip," I said, meaning it as a joke, but it came out rather serious. He raised an imperious eyebrow but then stood and bowed to me.
"As my lady would have it." I swallowed hard as I watched him from my place on the chair. He was incredibly beautiful as he unbuttoned his shirt and grinning at me. He undid the cuffs on his sleeves but hesitated to take the shirt off. He looked at me then with worry and what I thought was embarrassment.
"Please, take it off," I whispered. He took a breath, chewed his lip, and then let it fall to the ground. When I met his eyes again, he was looking at me defiantly, and so my eyes drifted to what little bit I could see of the tattoo. The peek had me getting up and going over to him. I took his arm gently and asked him with my eyes to let me see it. Hesitantly, he relaxed his arm so I could turn it and see the ugly (in my opinion) tattoo of a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth on the inside of his left forearm. I swallowed in fear, but I could feel a tremble in his arm, and that gave me courage. "Why did you get this?" I asked softly and looked up at him.
"I didn't have a choice," he said angrily.
"Is it…? Did you have to...?" I started, but he cut me off.
"I have heard the rumours, and no, I didn't kill anyone to get it," he said with no less anger, but he didn't pull away from me.
"Can I ask how?" I made sure to ask in a way that meant he didn't have to answer.
"It is a ritual. Soul magic. It hurt," he said, and touched the tattoo himself. "He links your will to his. He can hurt us through these; he can call us."
"Can he kill you?" I asked worriedly.
"I don't know. I don't believe so, but I would imagine he could make us wish for death," he answered and finally but gently took his arm back from me. "I should put the shirt back on," he said, reaching down for it.
"Please, don't," I said, stopping him with a hand on the one holding the shirt. He looked at me with unsure eyes but then nodded.
"Still want me to strip?" he asked, the cocky grin back.
"Yes," I answered, and went back to my chair so I could watch him. He chuckled and then started again. His confidence was firmly in place until he was standing in nothing but his underwear, which was having trouble holding him in.
"Are you sure?" He asked again when I met his eyes. I bit my lip, my cheeks flaming, but nodded my head. He seemed to take a bracing breath himself before pushing them down in a fast action and then standing just as proudly as the appendage that sprung out from between his legs seemed to be. "Now what?" he asked me seriously as I stared at him.
"I don't know," I said with another nervous swallow, and then frowned as I realised I said that a lot. "Can I touch you?" I asked, and the appendage jerked and then seemed to nod for him.
"Yes," he said in a strained voice. I got up slowly but maintained eye contact with him. I put my hands on his bare shoulders and leaned up for the kiss I had been wanting since the moment he entered the room today. I kissed him, and he kissed me back, but I didn't start to move my hands until his hands came up to cup my face. He made a grunting noise of surprise when the fingers of both hands travelled over his bare stomach, making it contract, but he groaned into my mouth when both hands touched the sides of his manhood.
He deepened the kiss, adding tongue, and I reinforced my bravery by wrapping one hand around the lower half of the appendage and then doing the same but higher with the other. I was surprised it was large enough that I could hold it in both my hands and then used my thumb to stroke over the soft head. He groaned again, and a bead of wetness leaked out and dribbled down the sides, coating my upper hand in it. I pulled away so I could see what it was.
"Sorry," he said with a bit of embarrassment, but I just shook my head.
"Lay down," I told him. He let go of me and did as I asked. I stared down at him from where I was and thought, given a few more years, he could have modelled convincingly for the David statue. I had been lucky enough to see it once, when I was on a trip with my parents and we visited the Galleria dell'Accademia in Florence, Italy.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
"That you are beautiful," I told him honestly, and he smiled up at me.
"Thank you," he said with a smug grin. I sank down next to him, and seeing him like this made me remember what that appendage was actually for. Suddenly, I was aghast.
"There is no possible way that would fit," I said out loud, then clapped my hand over my mouth as he rolled to the side and laughed wildly, knowing exactly what I had meant with my outburst.
"I believe I should feel complimented," he said, still laughing at me, and I just continued to stare in horror. "And here I was, hoping that I would grow more," he continued to laugh, absolutely amused.
I smacked at his arm and said in distress, "Stop it. This is serious."
"Yes, it is," he agreed, sitting up and then moved in to start kissing me. I pushed him away to make sure the thing wasn't trying to get me or anything, but he started to kiss my neck. "I'm sorry, I laughed," he said between kisses, "but you have no idea how self-conscious wizards are about their cocks," he said while continuing to kiss me and making my stomach clench at the dirty word.
"But they can't all be like that?" I said in dismay, paying no attention to the wanting I felt in my belly and, more scarily, lower. He chuckled again, and I smacked at his shoulder once more, and he lay back down with a pleased grin on his face.
"Are you done exploring then?" he asked. I looked back down at him and wondered if I could get my courage back.
"What would you like me to do?" I asked, my mind an absolute blank. The appendage gave another bob that made my eyes widen.
"Will you put your mouth on me? Will you kiss me there?" he asked breathlessly. I met his eyes again for a moment and then looked back down, wondering if I had the courage. "Gryffindor, remember," he teased lightly.
"I remember," I meant to say in a huff, but it just came out as breathy as his was. I licked my lips and then told myself to get it together. "It is not like this hasn't been done before," I accidentally said out loud.
"Please tell me you do not want to talk about me and another witch right now?!" He asked in surprise.
"Hardly," I said, and then, figuring it was now or never, I took him firmly in hand and licked up the side of him.
"Holy hell, give a wizard a bit of warning," Draco said, his hips lifting at the sudden contact.
I sat back, my hand still wrapped around him, and said, "Do you want me to stop?"
"Don't be ludicrous," he said, and then watched me hopefully. I leaned back down and was much more careful as I took my first lick. I couldn't help the grin when he hissed as though in pleasured pain. I set to work, licking him all over and marvelled at how soft the skin was over the hard core of him as I moved my hand up and down. I even got brave enough to handle his balls and lick over them. Feeling empowered, I licked up his length all at once and then took him deep into my mouth.
"Aaaaah," he lets out a sudden scream, and pumps of fluid filled my mouth that I was unsure what to do with at first. It was a choice of spit or swallow, and I decided to do what I hoped would be the least embarrassing. "Oh, Granger, I am so sorry," Draco said, looking at me in wonder and worry.
"Was that wrong?" I asked with a frown as I wiped a bit of saliva off my lips with my thumb and then back with my fingers.
"What?" he asked, just as confused as he watched my actions before he looked back at my eyes.
"Well, you…" I said, waving down at him, "and I..." I didn't know how to finish that either, and thankfully the room wasn't making me add to it now.
"I noticed, and no, I don't think anything was wrong, just surprising. Pansy, she err... well, she spat it out and almost vomited. With her, it took longer than taking me once in her mouth," he confessed.
"Oh," I said lamely, and felt a bit of jealousy over the story.
"You didn't think it was gross?" I asked, worried that I had made the wrong decision.
"Honestly, I was more worried that I offended you by cumming with no warning, but to tell you the truth, what you did just made it all the more bloody hot," he answered, regaining his cockiness.
"Alright, then," I said, not sure what else to say.
"Tomorrow is my turn," he said with a smug grin. I thought about arguing but knew there was no point. Instead, I got up to get my journal. He rolled over to watch me. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Writing myself a note so I remember to shave my legs tonight," I answered, making him laugh again.
I did indeed remember to do my personal grooming in the prefect bath that night, even though I was unsure why I had decided it was such a priority.
That night I had erotic dreams but couldn't for the life of me see who they were about. I woke with a flaming face and was glad I had long ago put Silencing Charms up just so I wouldn't have to listen to the giggling of the gossiping duo that was Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. I was wondering if the stress of school was getting to me and just trying to get me to relax a bit, but then dismissed the thought as unimportant.