All of Harry Potter and anything related to it are the sole property of J.K. Rowling.
(Each title is derived from a song that, I believe, complements the overall narrative, if not the individual chapter.)
Hogwarts Still November 1996
I left the dorm a little later with Harry, who was just as disturbed as I was by Lavender and Ron, but he was also dismayed over Ginny's relationship with Dean. It was at the joining corridor that we spotted Draco.
"What is that snake up to now?" Harry hissed with anger.
"I don't know," I whispered, but for some reason I felt a tinge of guilt. I figured it was a remnant of my strange night and discounted it.
"You go to breakfast. I am going to follow him," Harry said, taking his father's cloak out of his bag.
"Be careful," I said with a nod, and walked away feeling like I should have been doing something else but unsure what it was. All of that was wiped away, though, when I got to the Great Hall and saw Lavender sitting on Ron's lap, feeding him between kisses. I chose to go sit with Luna instead, but I was glad when Professor McGonagall went over and stopped the display. Luna happily chatted about nothing much as we ate, but I promised myself I would pay more attention to the strange girl. She had earned my friendship, and no matter how different we were, I believed people deserved to be treated well when they treated you the same way.
It was the afternoon again when I got to the room, and Draco was already there, reading on the blanket on the floor.
"Do you attend class at all anymore?" I asked after standing there and letting the memories pour back in.
"Most of the time, but I don't find them as important as I once did," he said with a hard look, and put the book away. I walked around him again and went to sit at the table. I sat and frowned, biting my lip in worry. "What is the matter, Granger?" he asked me, and my eyes widened as I felt the room compel me to answer.
"Harry and I saw you on the seventh floor today, and so he followed you," I said, and then felt incredibly guilty for saying something I knew Harry wouldn't want me to. Draco scowled at that but studied my face.
"Sorry," he said with a grimace after a moment, and then added, "I told you I frequent the Room of Requirement." I just nodded at that. "This is a problem, isn't it?" he said, and I scoffed in disbelief.
"Now you realise that?" I said, in exasperation.
"No, I was aware of it. It's merely that typically, it's me striving not to say too much," he confessed.
"Yes," I agreed.
"I wish I could simply switch it off," he said, making my eyes meet his, "this wanting you."
"Do you think it would if we stopped coming to this room?" I whispered and felt a bit of alarm at the idea. "Dear Merlin, I am becoming addicted to you," I said involuntarily, and then looked at him expecting a smug look, but he looked just as distressed as I felt.
"I know the feeling," he confessed softly. "But I have no desire to resist it. I wasn't kidding when I said you were the only good thing in my life right now." I swallowed and then stood up, knowing that talking always led to more trouble, and I couldn't exactly leave. I also knew that I didn't want to. I knelt and moved in to kiss him, which he gladly met in kind. Once again, he kissed me until I was lying below him, but then he pulled back with a grin. "Do you still agree that it is my day?" he asked.
Feeling nervous but refusing to be cowed, I said, "Yes." He sat up beside me and started on the buttons of my blouse. "You don't want me to strip like you did?" I asked, but the shakes were already setting in.
"No, I want to do it," then he added as an afterthought, "If that is alright?"
"It's alright," I breathed. He took his time taking everything off me. I couldn't hide the shivering in my body, but I was determined to be brave as I held my hands stubbornly at my sides and stared at the ceiling. Even more runes were up there, and they made no more sense than the rest of them. I only moved when he needed me to lift or twist so he could remove something else. When my underwear was taken off my ankles, he stopped touching me, and I could feel his eyes on me. I felt cold and not at all comfortable, and thought I would cry if I saw revolution on his face.
"You are the most beautiful witch," his voice said, making me jump in fright. "I may not have seen many, but I have seen a few, and I... I have never seen anyone more beautiful than you," he said with raw honesty, and even as I met his grey eyes, I burst into tears. That just added to my humiliation. "Hush, it's alright, I'm sorry," he said, coming over me with worry and kissing the tears from my face. "I'm an arse. I should have stopped, but I really didn't want to," he babbled as he tried to wipe the tears from my wet face.
"I didn't want you to stop," I said between teeth-chattering sobs.
"I wish I could claim to understand that, but I can't," he said, looking as lost as I felt.
"Have you never learned that females are not supposed to make sense to males?" I asked, trying to make a joke through the tears.
"Yes, but are you supposed to confuse yourselves?" He asked with real concern, and I did laugh at that.
"Sometime. How better to keep all of you from taking over the world? Could you imagine what would happen if we allowed males to rule the world?" I said, then cracked up laughing when his mouth dropped open in shock at that statement.
"I'm beginning to understand why so many wizards utter the word 'witch' in such a distinctive tone," he remarked, a sarcastic grin playing on his lips. "I believe I should punish you for that," he told me, and I realised the shivering had stopped with my laughter.
"Really?" I asked with a teasing grin, feeling a lot calmer but still tense.
"Most definitely," he said, leaning down for a kiss. He kissed me until I was sighing in contentment again, most of the anxiety forgotten.
When he stopped to look at me, I said, "I thought you said you were going to punish me?"
"Yes," he said with a grin, and moved down to my breasts, where he gave me the same pleasure as a few days ago, teasing one breast and then the other with his mouth, but his hands skimmed my sides and finally touched my mound. I stopped breathing at the shock of someone touching me there. "Why do you have no hair on the sides?" he asked softly. I think to give me a moment to become accustomed to his hand being there.
"I swim," I answered, and when he cocked his head, I added, "Bathing suits tend to be high-cut, and so I have found it more convenient to maintain the grooming, even when I am away from home. It can also get quite itchy when growing back, so that is further incentive," I told him even as his hand massaged the pubic area.
"I see," he said, looking back down at his hand. "I am going to touch you now," he said, looking back up at me. I nodded and bit my lip. He watched my face as he dipped his finger down, and I could feel the wetness coating the appendage. He rubbed up and down gently and asked, "Is this, okay?"
I nodded but then remembered my promise to be brave and said, "Yes." He bent back down towards me and started kissing me again. He gently nudged one of my legs aside so he could touch me a bit more easily, and I started making little mewling sounds into his mouth that I knew would mortify me later. For now, all I could do was hold on to his shoulders for dear life, and I bucked in surprise when he pushed a finger inside me and let out a gasp at the sensation.
"Just this for the moment," he whispered against my lips, and I really could do no more than nod now, my courage all gone and yet wanting so much to tell him not to stop.
Thinking that must have prompted the room because I found myself saying, "Don't stop," out loud just a moment later.
"I won't," he said just as softly, but moved his thumb up to start rubbing circles around a small hardness there. The increase in pleasure was immediate, and I found my legs falling further open as I tried to get more of that feeling. He increased the speed of his finger, and in just a few moments I was letting out repeated and unavoidable cries until waves of sensation crashed over me, my nipples tightened further, and I felt my inner wall clenching at his finger. When he stopped, I realised that was only a small amount of what my body wanted, and I was embarrassed once again. He leaned down and kissed me.
"That was the most incredible thing I have ever seen." He then looked down at himself and winced. I followed his gaze and saw he had made a mess of himself again while I had been otherwise occupied.
"We should probably get going. I am sure the door has opened by now," I said shyly. He studied my face and then nodded his agreement. I started to get dressed and noticed him take out his wand, but he just sat there holding it in both hands instead of using it.
"Will you be back tomorrow?" he asked uncertainly when I was ready to go. I frowned and wondered what would give him the idea I had the sense to stay away.
"Yes," I answered easily. He nodded, stood, gave me a quick kiss, and left once again before remembering to clean himself up. I gave a slight huff of annoyance that I had to wait once more and considered writing some sort of note in my journal, but honestly had no idea what it would say.
The next day we actually met up in the small corridor, and though I frowned and he gave a bold and conceited grin, we both entered the room.
"That may not have been a good idea," I said after my memories came back and I considered that someone may have seen us. As it was, Mrs. Norris had been watching us as we went past Filch's door.
"No one was there, save for the cat," Draco said without concern, and he made himself comfortable on the pillows and blankets. I went to the table, and his bag spilt over as I passed, making a necklace box fall out.
"Present for your mother?" I asked, picking it up, and he reached up and snatched it from my hand.
"No, no, not her," he said, in a panic that had me raise both my eyebrows. I snatched it back distrustfully and opened it to see an old but beautiful opal necklace. He snatched it right back and slammed the lid closed. "Don't!" he growled angrily.
"Fine," I said, and I sat feeling stupid for being here again with someone I didn't even trust. 'How can we ever have a relationship if he has so many secrets?' I thought, and then flushed in horror. "What the hell is wrong with me? We can't have a real relationship!" Draco just looked up at me with guilt and worry. He remembered the necklace box still in his hand and shoved it back in his bag.
"I found it in the Room of Requirement," he said as if the room were making him say it.
"And you thought you would just claim it?" I accused.
"No! I have every intention of returning it to its rightful owner," he snapped back, then ran his hands through his hair, making it unruly again.
"I refuse to think about how adorable you look like that," I said out loud and then growled at the stupid room.
"You think I'm adorable?" He asked with astonishment, but his ever-present smirk was creeping back across his lips.
"Sometimes," I admitted.
"Like when?" he asked.
I looked at his dishevelled hair and said, "When your hair looks like it does now."
"Oh," he said in contemplation, and then grinned after he thought about it.
"Am I allowed to ask who the owner of the necklace is? Perhaps I could help you in giving it back?" I suggested. His eyes widened in alarm again, and he shook his head violently.
"No, no, not you," he said in a panic again. I went to the ground to grab his face, my need to comfort people beyond ignoring this time.
"Shhh, shhh, it's alright, I won't push," I said and then kissed him, making him relax against me. I did intend to write the word necklace with a frown in my journal today, though.
"Let me give you pleasure again," he said, burying his face in my neck and kissing it. "I really loved that, and it is so much safer than talking." I thought about protesting, but like yesterday, I knew it would be pointless. And besides, my protest was only going to be whose day it was.
"Alright," I agreed, and my body flushed in anticipation.
It took less time than yesterday to have me naked, but it was no less nerve-wracking. He had agreed to take his shirt off too, and his naked chest against mine might have been my favourite sensation so far.
"I like that too," he whispered against the skin of my neck, making me realise I had said that out loud.
"Stupid room," I muttered against the skin of his shoulder, and he laughed.
"I love this room. If I had my way, I'd have it, and you, back at the manor with me," he said, and then his eyes took on that alarmed look again.
"Shhh, I know. I understand," I said making him relax again. I did understand what he meant after all, even if the panic was more than I thought should have been warranted, even if his parents were Death Eaters. It wasn't as though I didn't know.
"Something new again today, I think," he said out of nowhere and started to kiss down to my breasts, but then started on my stomach, and when his tongue traced my belly button, I laughed at the ticklish sensation. He grinned up at me at that and then started kissing lower. When he was at my pubic mound, my eyes widened in alarm, and I stopped him, putting a hand in the way.
"What are you doing?" I demanded.
"Well, I had planned on returning the favour from the other day," he told me in a reasonable voice, picking up my hand and dropping it down beside me.
"But you can't. I mean, I use the toilet, you know," I said, then growled loudly at the stupid room as he laughed joyously. "I really do love that sound," I said, and then, "I am going to get revenge on this damned room one day. It will rue the day it messed with Hermione Jean Granger," I said in all seriousness, which had him laughing all the more. I looked down at him, waiting for him to get control of himself, with my arms folded in annoyance.
"I love your laugh too, but I really don't see a room rueing anything," he said, still amused.
I huffed and then said, "Why are you still down there?"
"I told you," he said, and then gave a long lick with his tongue up my centre that had me hissing in surprise and a bit of annoyance. "I am returning the favour." He then set to work, and though I was trying to come up with an argument, the sight of him looking at me defiantly as he flicked his tongue along me was taking my breath away. Soon he added his finger as well, and I almost couldn't stand it. He stopped suddenly when I thought I was about to die of pleasure. I looked back down at him, ready to scream at the unexpected action. "I am going to add a second finger," he told me, making my eyes widen.
"Will it even fit? It feels awfully tight down there," I asked, nerves setting in again.
"Yes, it will, and tight is really good," he told me.
I bit my lip, swallowed, and then said, "Alright."
He went back to his licking but was very slowly moving his finger in and out, as though not wanting me to get too excited too soon. I froze when I felt the second finger join the first when he had withdrawn, but he was just as careful and slow as before. Still, the pressure was doubled, and I wasn't sure I liked it. I was about to ask him to stop when he brought his thumb up and started rubbing that little, hard nub again. In just a moment, my insides loosened, and I felt more wetness seep around his fingers.
"That's it," he said so softly I almost missed it, and I looked down to see him watching what he was doing. All of a sudden everything roared back, and my orgasm was upon me, gripping the fingers even tighter and sending waves of pleasure through me that had my breasts tingling and nipples tightening even further. This one seemed to last double the amount of time as the last one, and I didn't realise I was thrusting against his fingers until I came down enough to feel my fingers in my own hair and my hips lifted in the air. I looked at him, and he said, "Fuck, you are sexy."
"Thank you," I said with embarrassment, but then started to laugh and, even worse, cry. Thankfully, they weren't sad tears, more just overwhelmed ones, and though he looked at me with concern, he didn't comment on my bipolar moment.
That night I got back to my room to hear Lavender and Parvati in full gossip, though they were trying and failing to whisper. I stopped outside the door when I heard Parvati say, "how was it?"
"Scary, but really good," Lavender replied, making me frown.
"I can't believe you let him…" Parvati started, only to stop when they both started to giggle. Not wanting to hear more of whatever that was, I turned and went to find Harry.
"I can't believe you!" Harry was saying to his friend with a lot of disapproval in his voice. "Don't you realise other people could be hurt by what you…" he stopped when he saw me in the doorway. He looked mortified, but Ron didn't notice.
"Who in Godric's name would care if I got laid or not?" Ron was saying, and I spun around, racing down the stairs to the sound of Harry telling Ron that he was a bloody idiot sometimes. I was crying as I excited the portrait hole, and Harry came out as I was descending the stairs.
"Mione', please don't cry," he said, catching up to me and pulling me into a hug. "I am sure he is just making it up."
I shook my head and said, "Lavender and Parvati were talking about it too."
"Damn. Bloody hell, damn," Harry said, running his fingers through his hair. I had no inclination to comment on the cursing this time.
"I'll be alright, but, um… if you don't mind, I think I will spend the night in my study room. Would you cover for me?" I asked and then looked down the corridor and then back at him and said, "I think I just really need to be alone tonight."
"Of course, Mi'," he said, pulling me into another quick hug. "Do you want me to bring you anything in the morning?"
"No, that's alright. I have everything in my bag. I'll just see you at breakfast," I said and went to walk away. "Harry?" I called, turning back when he was at the portrait.
"Yeah?" he said.
"Please, don't mention this to Ron. It isn't his fault I feel this way," I told him.
He smiled at me and said, "he really doesn't deserve you, Mione'." I nodded my thanks and walked away. The hallways were not empty, and I had more than one person look at my tear-stain face, but thankfully no one commented.
I walked past a group of Slytherins, but all they did was sneer, smirk, and whisper to each other. When I was back in the room, I felt like a hypocrite and cried even more. I cried so long that I didn't notice the door open and jumped when an arm came over me, pulling me into a hug. The fact that he was hugging me made it all so much worse and all a bit better.
"You shouldn't be nice to me," I sobbed.
"Yes, I should," he replied at once.
"I am crying because I am hurting over another boy, because outside those doors I love him, and now, to make it worse, when I am in here, I have feelings for you too, and I feel like I am betraying you for loving someone else and being upset about things he is doing with someone else," I cried.
"Complicated," he said softly, so softly I couldn't tell his feelings, but he did pull me closer to him.
"Out there, I don't really think of you at all, except for the sudden flairs of sympathy, but I simply tell myself that I would feel bad for anyone who seems as isolated as you do lately," I said angrily, even as the tears still flowed.
After a pregnant pause, he whispered, "That is because you are a kind person." We fell silent, and I tried some deep breathing to get control of myself.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice scratchy from all the crying, but I was positively done with that.
"Multiple people came into the Slytherin Common room laughing about your distress. At the earliest opportunity, I came to see if you were here," he explained.
"You didn't have to do that," I breathed.
"I wanted to, and I couldn't stand being there. Nobody understands what I have facing me this year; it makes their company rather unbearable," he confessed, his words measured and careful.
"I'm sorry you have to face so much by yourself," I said, thinking how sad I would be without Harry and even Ron to support me.
He was quiet for a long time and then kissed my hair and whispered, "Thank you." I just nodded, my chest still aching with what I had learned earlier. We lay there quietly until we heard the door unlock, and then he rolled over and said, "You can leave now; the door is unobstructed."
"I'm staying here tonight," I said with a shake of my head, rolling over to look at him. He raised an eyebrow in inquiry, but he didn't ask, so I remained silent.
"Okay then," he said and got up, going over to the chair. He then picked it up and carried it over to the door, where he placed it, so the latch wouldn't allow anyone entry.
"We should have thought of that earlier," I said, but I was still feeling too dejected to make it a joke.
"Yes," he agreed, and came back over to me.
"You don't have to stay, you know," I told him.
He shrugged and said, "I really want to, and I really don't want to be there." He lay down next to me again and seemed to study the ceiling for a while, lost in thought. I was lost in my own until I noticed I was getting cold. I sat up and pulled the blanket out of my bag, then spread it out over the both of us. "Thank you," he mumbled as he pulled it a bit further up, but still seemed distracted and worried. I didn't like that look. It didn't belong in this room.
"Draco, please come back from wherever you are right now. It doesn't belong here, between us," I said. His eyes turned to me, and I could see my Draco swimming back up in his eyes as if he really had been buried far beneath fear and misery.
"I'm alright," he said, and tried to give me one of his grins, but it wasn't quite there yet. I stared at him and thought of something I knew I was thinking for all the wrong reasons.
"I want to have sex with you," I blurted out, and his head snapped to me so fast I thought he may have given himself whiplash.
"You cannot just say that to a wizard, Hermione. They will take you seriously," he said breathily.
"In this room, you should take everything seriously," I replied at once.
He swallowed and said, "Yes, but I thought I would give you a moment to reconsider."
"I don't want to reconsider," I told him.
"I, um… I have never done that," he said, looking truly nervous for the first time.
"You said," I agreed, still looking at him. Extraordinarily, I was the more composed of the two of us now.
"Your certain?" he asked again.
"Yes," I whispered.
"You know the Contraceptive Charm?" he asked with a swallow.
"Yes," I said again.
"Okay," he agreed. We both undressed quietly then, not looking at the other, and I wondered briefly why this time had to be so different, but then I realised it was because Draco was out of his comfort zone of knowing what to expect. I picked up my wand and performed the spell on myself, just as Madam Pomphrey had taught all the girls, and watched as Draco performed another spell on himself. Once that was done, he looked at me with wide eyes.
"How about you just kiss me for now?" I asked as I laid back down. He swallowed and smiled, and then leaned over to do just that. "Who is lacking courage now?" I asked when he settled his weight next to me, preparing for a kiss.
"I'm a Slytherin; we don't need courage, just the cunning to look like we do," he said with a cocky grin, and that made me laugh. I leaned up and met his mouth with mine, and that was all it took to have him take over the kiss.
He seemed to be methodical tonight, as though he was worried that a missed step would ruin everything. I had just finished shuddering from an orgasm when he slid up my body and laid his manhood against me. He kissed me again, waiting for me to be ready. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he shook his head, reached down to take himself in hand, and guided himself into me. My eyes widened to feel how large he felt, and his eyes snapped to mine when I made a noise of distress.
"Are you alright? I can stop. I appear not to be able to get in further anyway," he said with a frown, and for once I was the one slightly amused.
"I dare say that is my hymen. It will need breaking," I said, and I could see comprehension enter his eyes and the wince at what he knew I would feel.
"I really can stop," he said.
"No. Just maybe kiss me again and wait until I am close," I said. He nodded, but I could tell he was having trouble not moving. He kissed me on my mouth, neck, and breasts, and very soon I was humming with tension again. He reached down between our bodies and touched that nub, making me gasp, and just as I did, he thrust forward, making me gasp a second time at the sharp pinch, but he didn't stop rubbing or moving, and the pain was forgotten before I could worry about it or how full I felt. He pushed his knees up under my legs and leaned up, so his hand had free movement, but he swore loudly when he saw his penis buried in my body.
"Oh, my fucking Salazar, but that is amazing," he said, then pumped harder and came at the same time. Just the thought of him cumming inside of me made me go as well, and he was crying out again at the feel of my vagina gripping him tight repeatedly. We were both sweating and breathing hard when we finished; he lay heavily but not uncomfortable on top of me. "Are you alright?" he asked even as he started to kiss my neck again.
"Yes," I said with a relieved laugh.
"Do you think we could do it again?" He asked as he continued to kiss my neck and had yet to withdraw from my body. I laughed again with joy.
"If it is possible, then yes," I said.
"It's possible," he replied, and I was shocked to feel him hardening again inside of me. "I'll go slowly," he said, and then started to rock again. He watched my face, and I felt self-conscious even as I watched him. I laughed when I knew I made a grimace that I imagined looked comical, but he just grinned at me and picked up the pace again. I was soon too lost in the sensations to worry about what either of our faces were doing, funny or not.
My orgasm was a lot smaller this time, but no less satisfying. He pulled out of me after that and then hauled me up, so I was lying with my head on his shoulder. It didn't take me long to get sleepy, the emotions of the day catching up with me, but just before sleep took me, I heard him say, "I could love you so easily."
I woke to his hand between my legs and something hard poking me in the bottom.
"Grab your wand, Granger; cast the spell," he whispered against my neck and then ran his tongue up the column of it, making me shiver. Without opening my eyes, almost afraid I was still dreaming, I reached out to where my clothes were and my wand sitting on top and did as he suggested. He shivered against me as if, just by complying, I had turned him on. He lifted my leg and started seeking my sensitive opening with his hard, warm bit of flesh. I gave a small cry of discomfort when he entered me, even though he did it carefully.
"Should I stop?" he whispered, but I just shook my head into my pillow. It may have hurt a little, but I also felt like it was important and necessary. It was a strange feeling. He started to move slowly, and I bit my lip to stop the pained noises, but gradually the pain eased and then disappeared. A tide of wetness and the loosening of muscles allowed his fingers and penis to work. The buildup had me panting and making noises that had nothing to do with pain.
"I can't believe I have my cock buried in the sweet pussy of Hermione Granger," he said, then let out an annoyed growl. My eyes finally opened at the shock of it, even as I laughed at the vulgarity and obvious irritation with being forced to say something he was thinking.
"Are future Lords even allowed to speak like that?" I asked on a moan and found myself pushing back into him.
He grunted, and then, after a bit, even as he kept moving, said, "Not a conversation I have ever had with my father."
"I can't believe we can talk while doing this," I managed to get out on another moan. He didn't reply; just picked up the pace, and then I wasn't sure I would have been able to hold a conversation at all. Before I wanted it to be finished, I felt my body building to the orgasm I wanted. I turned my face into the pillow as a loud and long moan came out of my mouth. He was behind me, making similar sounds as he struggled to keep his rhythm. He pulled me closer to him, hugging me from behind while his penis sat comfortably inside of me.
"Are boys always so ready to go in the morning?" I asked, meaning it to be a joke.
"Granger, I guarantee there are at least 50 boys rubbing one out at this very moment in the castle," he told me in all seriousness.
"Ew," I said with disgust at that information, making him chuckle against me. I thought about that, though, and then found myself asking, "Do you do that?"
"Yes," he said simply, and my stomach contracted sharply at the word. The reaction had him grunt as my inner walls clamped down on him suddenly. That thought I didn't find disgusting at all.
"Like that, did you?" He said with a laugh and kissed my neck as a reward. He then added, as if he were still thinking about my earlier question, "Of course there are others who seem to always be raring to go, no matter who is around. Take Nott, for example. He shags anything that crosses his path when given the opportunity."
"Doesn't he worry about the consequences?" I asked.
"They only apply to purebloods, and he mostly avoids those," he explained. I winced at that knowledge but refused to think of the double standards or be hurt by it.
"Mostly?" I asked.
"If I tell you a secret, do you promise to keep it to yourself?" He asked seriously.
I thought for a moment and then said softly, "Yes."
"Zabini and Greengrass have been shagging like a couple of Pygmy Puffs. Only those in our dorm know, and honestly, I wish I didn't. I really do not need to hear that," he said, sounding disgusted; I couldn't help it, I laughed.
"Thank you for sharing your burden with me," I said, still amused, turning my head to try look at him over my shoulder. He leaned up with a cheeky grin.
"You are welcome," he said, then kissed me. Unfortunately, my bladder chose to twist and tell me that I really was awake.
"I love magic; I really do, but unfortunately, I am awake now and need a bathroom," I told him. He nodded and removed himself from me with a shiver of pleasure that had me smiling.
Before I could go anywhere to alleviate my screaming bladder, I had to make a few notes in my journal, or I think I would have risked insanity. I told myself that I was no longer a virgin and that I needed to forgive Ron and be kinder to him. I said I no longer had the higher ground of morality, if I ever had it to begin with. I also wrote that I should go straight to the bathroom.
I looked up to see Draco also writing, but he always wrote more than I did. I quickly dressed, grabbed together my things, and then made sure I had my journal out and open so I could see it. I stood over him in indecision for a moment, but when he looked up curiously, I quickly leaned down and kissed him. Seemed stupid not to, under the circumstances, and the smile he gave me when I stood back up made it even better. Without further word, I left the room and looked down at the journal in my hand with a frown.
GO TO THE TOILET was written in large, firm words, and the twist of my bladder had me believing them. I quickly set off for the second floor, moaning Myrtle's bathroom being the closest I knew. I was appalled by the state of my underwear when I pulled them down. I picked up my journal to see what else I had written and covered my mouth to stifle a gasp of shock.
The knickers were so flooded in fluids that they were unusable. I had to take them off and wrap them in toilet paper before I could place them in the bottom of my bag. When I wiped to clean myself up, I gave a cry at the overstimulated area. Wiping had never felt like that before, and I was embarrassed by how much I liked it. Didn't stop me from giving a second wipe however, but it wasn't as good as the first.
I intended to go back to my dorm and change, but when I was finally cleaned up, hair done, and teeth brushed, I ran into Harry and Ron in the hallway, and there was no way I was going to explain that I couldn't go to breakfast because I had no knickers on. We all walked to the Great Hall together, but in an uncomfortable silence.
"If you two don't mind, I think I might eat with Luna again this morning," I told them when we arrived. Ron looked at me with relief, as if he was glad I had acknowledged him.
"Won-won," Lavender called across the room and waved at him, and a swell of jealousy and hatred poured through me, making me grimace. Thankfully, Ron didn't notice, but Harry did.
"I should…" Ron started vaguely with a wave of his hand.
"Yes, of course," I said a bit bitterly, even though it killed me. I bit my lip and remembered what I had read in my journal. Just as he started away, I said, "Ron? Let me, you, and Harry have just a day for us. Hogsmeade-weekend is coming up." He smiled at that and nodded before continuing over to Lavender.
"You are a brilliant person, Hermione," Harry said to me, but I could see the sadness and worry in his bright green eyes.
"I recently told myself that he owes me nothing. We are not together, and he hasn't betrayed me. I am trying hard to believe that," I told him. He pulled me into a quick hug, but we were bumped into by Malfoy, who scowled at Harry; his eyes barely skimmed over me.
"Go eat with Luna. I know she will like that," he said, giving me a little push even as he scowled at Malfoy's retreating back. I nodded and went to do just that.
The first thing I said after my memories came back that afternoon was, "Was it really necessary to bump into Harry and I this morning?"
"Believe it or not, Granger, that was not my intention. I was preoccupied with other matters and didn't see the two of you in front of me," he said with a hint of his old sneer. I rubbed my neck, ill at ease with the familiar tone, and then noticed that the blankets and pillows were gone.
"Where is everything?" I asked with a frown. He pulled his bag open and started to pull out a different blanket.
"I thought I would have my personal House Elf clean the others. They have been here for quite a while," he explained.
"You have a House Elf?" I asked with a disapproving frown that had him looking at me curiously.
"Of course," he replied, and I looked away as I remembered Dobby. "What?" he asked.
I looked at him with anger and said, "Do you abuse this one too?" His eyes widened at the accusing tone and then narrowed in anger.
"I may have been a cruel child, but I have never hurt a House Elf. I didn't need to; they are quite happy to abuse themselves," he replied snappishly. I looked away, unable to think of anything else to say in the face of our shared anger and frustration. He came over and took my shoulders, pulling my back against his chest. "Are we really going to argue about House Elves?" he asked, his arms wrapping around me. My head dropped in defeat and a bit of relief.
"I don't want to fight with you," I replied.
"What was happening this morning?" he asked. "Why did Perfect Potter have his arms around you?" He added, sounding jealous, but I still had to question it.
"Are you jealous of Harry?" I asked in surprise.
"In here, absolutely," he answered truthfully, and then brushed my hair to one side so he could start kissing my neck.
"Harry is my best friend and nothing more. Ron is the one I have feelings for," I said, and I hated the stupid room again when that came out. He gave a growl and moved away from me.
"I'm aware," he said as he started pulling things out of his bag again, but in jerky, angry motions.
"I wouldn't hurt you with the truth if I could stop the words from coming out," I told him as I watched what he was doing.
"I'm aware," he repeated, but he was no less hurt.
"If I tell you a secret, will that cheer you up?" I asked as I went to sit on the chair.
He looked at me with interest but said, "It would have to be a good one."
I blushed a bit but confessed, "I have been walking around without knickers on all day." His eyes dropped to where my hands were folded primly in my lap, and he grinned.
"Are you telling me that you have nothing on under that skirt right now?" a hint of a growl in his voice.
"I have not had a chance to get back to my dorm," I said with a nod.
"Now this I must see. Come here, Granger?" He ordered, crooking his finger at me. I rolled my eyes at the high-handed order but went over to him. He pulled me into a hard kiss and then laid me down. He grinned at me when he was kneeling between my legs and then used his hands to skim the skirt up even as he watched my face. He didn't look down until just before I was exposed, and then a grin spread across his face in delight.
"You are forgiven. That was a great secret," he told me, then leaned down and licked me. I gasped, bit my lip, and plunged my hands into his hair as if to keep him there. Apparently, he had no problem with that idea, as he took me over the edge just a short time later with his talented mouth and fingers.
"My turn," I said breathily when I could speak again. He chuckled and rolled to the side so he could undo his trousers. I watched in fascination as he sprung free, hard, and ready to go. "I never thought that a penis would be so beautiful," I mumbled, and then blushed furiously as he laughed.
"I love it when the room does that to you," he said with amusement. I had nothing to say to that, so just bent down and kissed the hot tip of him, feeling moisture bead against my lip and licking it off. He sighed at the touch and then groaned as I took him deep into my mouth. I really liked the control I had over him while doing this; I had him shaking and moaning as I alternated between licking and sucking and even a little bit of nibbling. It wasn't until I set in with the sucking and started to pump a bit with my hand, though, that he finally called out, "I'm cumming," and then did just that as I continued to suck, not stopping until he calmed down again. "Merlin, Granger. I think you could kill me doing that."
The next two weeks, we fell into a routine of us meeting when we had free periods in our schedules, and very few conversations ever occurred. It seemed safer not to speak, and he had started pulling me straight into his arms as soon as I walked through the door, even before the memories had time to set in. Thankfully, they were always back before I could voice my shock and dismay.
The afternoon of the Hogsmeade weekend changed the routine into one of horror. Harry was beside himself with fury after his friend and Quidditch teammate Katie Bell had been cursed. He ranted about seeing Malfoy in The Three Broomsticks acting shadily, and when we were talking to Professors McGonagall and Snape, he insisted he just knew it was Malfoy who had cursed Katie. Professor McGonagall was surprised by the accusation.
Professor Snape, with a sneer of contempt, spat out words that dripped with loathing and disgust. "How nice it must be to be the chosen one, Potter, and just know things us mere mortals can only guess at." He turned on his heel and swept out of the room, his robes billowing behind him like a dark cloud.
"Be careful, Potter. You don't want to make those sorts of accusations without proof," Professor McGonagall warned him, but she regarded all of us to make sure we agreed. Ron and I just nodded at her while Harry ground his teeth in anger. We left Professor McGonagall's office and stood around, unsure of what to do.
"I ah… I promised to meet up with Lavender," Ron muttered guiltily as he looked at Harry, where he was pacing angrily. Harry gave one firm nod, and Ron walked away after giving my hand a quick squeeze. I just nodded back at him, more worried about Harry than about Ron and Lavender right at this moment.
"I will get proof, Mione'," Harry growled. "He has been hanging around the seventh floor for weeks now, and I am sure he is going into the Room of Requirement." I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. "Merlin!" he cursed, pulling at his messy black hair again. "Poor Katie," he said, sadness entering his voice.
"Yes," I agreed, still feeling horrified at what we had witnessed on the way back to the castle.
"You should go study, Mi'. I am terrible company right now and will just upset you. Hell, I wish I could escape myself for just a bit. We both don't need to be around this," he told me.
"I don't mind Harry, really," I told him.
"Thank you," he said with a pained smile, but shook his head. "I... I think I might go for a walk or something. I... need a bit of quiet... I think."
"I might go to the library then," I said.
"Not your room?" he asked me curiously.
"I suppose I could," I replied while thinking. Something was niggling at me, but I couldn't place it. I put down the sick feeling in my stomach from what had happened to Katie. Rubbing my head as a headache made itself known, I said, "Yes, I think I will. It will be quieter."
"See you at dinner," Harry said sadly. I nodded, and we both set off for our destinations. I opened the door to see Draco pacing with agitation, and I was still standing there when my memories poured back in. I gasped when I remembered the necklace and turned to rush back out, but Draco grabbed my arm and pulled me in, slamming the door as he did.
"Let me go!" I screamed at him as he held my arms up against the wall next to the door, tears of terror and grief pouring down my cheeks, with him holding himself pressed against my body. I screamed repeatedly, calling for help, and didn't stop until I felt his tears sliding down my neck. "Please let me go," I pleaded, feeling betrayed; that is when he finally looked up at me with his tears staining his face.
"She wasn't supposed to open it. It wasn't meant for her. Please believe me," he begged. I couldn't stop the shaking as I looked at him. I didn't understand what was happening. I felt like my heart was splitting in two. He had done something truly evil today, and yet a part of me wanted to comfort him.
"Get off me," I growled.
He stepped back, letting go of me finally, but said, "Please don't hate me."
"This isn't my life," I growled at him and myself, feeling the rage and pain boiling in me. "I never wanted to be a naive and hopeless Juliet who blindly followed a selfish and stupid Romeo to her doom. I will not die for the love of you, Draco Malfoy. I will not stand around and accept you doing evil things to good people just because you owe your soul to Voldemort!" I spat at him, and he actually flinched at the name. He paced for a few minutes, pulling roughly at his hair, obviously in as much pain as I was.
"What would you have me do? Let him kill my mother for my failures. That is what would have happened," he told me.
"You almost killed her!" I screamed at him. I hated that I felt compassion for him even now.
"What would you do?!" He screamed back and then took a calming breath. "If it was your mother or Potter or, Salazar forbid, your precious Weasel?" he sneered. I winced and turned away. I knew I would do a lot to protect those I loved.
"I think I could kill to protect those I love, but I wouldn't ever endanger others if I could avoid it," I said, still sounding as angry and confused as I felt.
"If I could do things differently, I would," he muttered.
"Do things? What does that mean?" I asked with renewed fear. He looked at me with those wide, panicked grey eyes, but I didn't take it back.
His voice was low, filled with a self-loathing that was painful to hear: "Others are going to die, Granger, and the blame will lie squarely on my shoulders. If I could change it, I would, but others are going to die," he said, and then knelt down and started crying again, bending over until his head touched the stone floor. I looked down at him and tried to be unmoved, but I couldn't. I had to squeeze my eyes shut and clench my hands into fists just so I wouldn't go and comfort him.
"Stop it, stop it," I mumbled with my eyes closed, and knew I was talking to both of us.
"I wish I could," he cried. "For you, I wish I could, Granger, but I have people to protect too." I spun around and hit the wall with the flat of my hand as I cried out in pain. He was pressing against me in the next moment, kissing my neck. "I'm sorry," he said repeatedly between sobs and kisses.
"I want so much to tell you to stop touching me," I said, still crying. He made of grunt of sound but didn't stop what he was doing. "I am not Juliet," I said again.
"I know," he agreed.
"I can't keep doing this, Draco," I said, still turned to the wall, my eyes closed as I cried.
"Please don't leave me. I need you," he said. I actually gave a cruel laugh of surprise at that and did turn to look at him then, and I knew a sneer was on my face that rivalled one of his own.
"Being needy is the most unattractive trait in a male. It shows that you lack confidence, independence, cunning, and self-respect." His eyes widened in shock at this statement, but I wasn't done. "I care little for your need in this moment, because it is not based on genuine interest or affection but on insecurity and desperation." The door clicked unlocked, but I refused to move until I could write something in my journal.
"I'm sorry you feel that way," he finally whispered and stepped back again, "but just so you know, I feel a lot of affection for you." His face was aflame with embarrassment, anger, and hurt. I refused to feel guilty or believe him, despite what I knew about the room. I went over to the desk so I could write in my journal in large letters, 'Never return to the room. Betrayal and pain lay inside.' I didn't look at him as I left the room.