All of Harry Potter and anything related to it are the sole property of J.K. Rowling.
(Each title is derived from a song that, I believe, complements the overall narrative, if not the individual chapter.)
* This Chapter contains snippets of the original chapter from Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince.
*TRIGGER WARNING – SEXUAL FORCE
Hogwarts still June 1997
Hermione's Point of view
We had had a wonderful week back at Hogwarts since his birthday. We had spent every free moment together, laughing, cuddling, and making love in places we shouldn't have dared to. Including the potions storeroom, which Draco had assured me was nothing like a broom cupboard, and nowhere he had ever brought another witch. It was stupid and reckless, but we both seemed to need to spend time outside of the room. I knew for myself that I just wanted the knowledge that this time with him was truly real.
But even in these short few days, I noticed that the skin around his eyes was becoming pinched again, as if he was constantly worried about something more than the usual things he worried about. I could see the panic setting back in, and I wasn't completely sure why. I had assumed whatever he was working on in the Room of Requirement must have been complete because he rarely ventured there now, and when he did, it was for no more than an hour or two. I knew we only had a few weeks left together, but there seemed to be more to it than that.
I had tried to ask him about it once, and he had become even more panicked, so I dropped it again, feeling helpless and scared. I had decided to just try, as best I could, to ignore the end that was coming and make him as happy as I could. But I could feel him slipping away from me, and I didn't know how to stop it.
Jomny had already filled the bath for us, and the warm scent of sandalwood filled the air, soothing our senses. Draco was naked before me, his skin brilliant in the soft light of the room. I had enjoyed undressing him, even though that had become something to laugh at as I struggled to even move around him. His amusement made my effort worth it, though, so I was content. As he effortlessly peeled off my clothes, he pulled me close and kissed my neck. A laugh escaped my lips, and I moaned at the sensation.
"Mione, you there?" We suddenly heard from the door, and my head whipped around in alarm at once. "I was hoping to talk to you about something," Ron continued, sounding hopeful and nervous. Draco took a step away from me, and somehow, I spun around and reached the door before him, my hand flat against the wooden panel. I turned to look at Draco's face over my shoulder, and it seemed to be a mixture of fury, jealousy, and shock, while still standing where I had left him.
He stalked towards me, his expression becoming unreadable, closing the gap between us. I didn't understand what he was doing until he had my other hand pressed to the door too. Both his hands were holding mine hard against the door, trapping me between him and the wood. His eyes bore into mine, as if he were trying to convey something without words.
With fury in his voice, he declared, "You are mine!" and claimed the remaining distance between our bodies.
"No," I said in breathy shock, as I understood his intention and his eyes seemed to spit fire at me. I hadn't meant to disagree with the sentiment, just the action I could see he was about to take.
"Yes," he disagreed, and entered me on a single thrust that had me gasp and orgasm all at once. He gave me a condescending look at that.
"Are you there? I thought I heard something," I dimly heard Ron say. And Draco started to move, making me cry out. I thought I heard another voice before Ron said something else, but I couldn't hear him clearly anymore. Draco increased speed and, without my noticing, brought his hands down to my breasts, and he pinched my nipples. I cried out again.
"You are mine, Hermione," Draco said again, and then one of his hands found its way between my legs, and he rubbed the nub there even as he pumped furiously. I cried out loudly as my orgasm was upon me again, and I heard him moaning behind me as he found his own end. The talking from the other side of the door was gone, and I had no idea when it had stopped.
"Get. Off. Me," I managed to get out angrily. He pulled out of me and marched over towards the table. I was shaking with humiliation and rage as I turned to pick up a towel to cover myself, not wanting to be naked in front of him just now. "How dare you do that to me!" I said heatedly as I looked over to see what he was doing. "I can't believe you would do that in anger," I said, sounding hurt and angry. I then noticed he was writing something in my journal, which I had left open on the table earlier.
"You haven't even seen angry," he told me, and then threw my journal on the ground in front of my feet. It didn't even have to be the right way; I could read the words he had written.
I fucked you against the door while your precious Weasley spoke to you – And you loved it!
"You bastard!" I yelled furiously at him. I couldn't believe he would do this to me.
"You attempted to protect him from me," he said, pointing an accusing finger at me. "I am so past angry, I am crazy!" he yelled, gripping his hair like he was deranged. "I am going to lose you in a matter of weeks, and I can't stand that I know he is going to take my place. That you are going to forget me; forget us," he said, hitting his own chest hard and making me flinch. "And the worst thing is… the worst thing is, I won't! Not if I can help it!" He lurched forward and started to pull his clothes on, and I felt frozen in confusion, humiliation, and hurt. A part of me wanted to reassure him, but my voice was frozen just as the rest of me was.
I was still standing there, in my towel, when the door slammed behind him. I was in a state of shock but managed to move forward and put the chair under the handle. I then turned and looked at the room, trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing. I felt hazy and lost, as if everything had become blurry and distant. The water in the bath looked warm and inviting, so, not knowing what else to do, I dropped the towel and got in.
I lay back and felt my muscles relaxing, and with that relaxing, my emotions roared back to life. Tears started, and then I couldn't stop them. I didn't understand anything that had just happened. I didn't understand how he couldn't know I was just as scared as he was. Why didn't he understand that I didn't want to lose him either? I cried until I was exhausted and then just lay there, looking at the stars and moon hanging from the ceiling. Aiden was moving inside my belly again, and it reminded me that I had things I needed to do as well. I went to get up and realised I couldn't. I was literally stuck in the bath, and so I cried about that, and then I got angry.
"Jomny," I was forced to call out. A knock sounded on the door in the next moment. "Jomny, is that you?" I asked.
"Yes, My Lady," he answered.
"I'm stuck in the bath," I told him with embarrassment. He tried the door, but of course I had put the chair in the way.
"Jomny can't open the door, My Lady," he said with his own confusion and worry. "Hang on. Jomny will try to get his master," he told me, and was gone a moment later. I was so glad that the water stayed warm, because it was a good half hour I was sitting there before the wall opened and Draco stepped through. He helped me out of the bath, but he barely looked at me, and he didn't speak. He made sure I was wrapped in a towel and sitting on the bed before he went over to the door and let Jomny in before leaving again. This hurt me all over again, and so, of course, I cried.
Jomny looked saddened but just busied himself, getting me clothes and getting rid of the water in the bath. He also dried me with a bit of Elf magic and offered to dress me, but I was determined to try do that much myself. I wasn't always going to have him around to do everything for me, so thought I really should start getting used to taking care of myself again.
I turned to see the pregnancy-advancing potion sitting on the bedside table that I had planned to take tonight. I had always taken it when Draco was here, but that had been foolish too. I knew there would be a time I still needed to take them when he wasn't around.
That night, I took it as soon as I got into bed. I knew I would sleep heavily, and Aiden would too. I thought we both needed that at the moment.
I didn't see Draco for four days. Not that I was trying to. I just immersed myself in my work, spending hours in the library. I ate all my meals in the Great Hall, and I even got up to the Gryffindor common room for a visit. I stayed until Professor McGonagall gave me a disapproving look.
Lunch time on the fourth day, I was sitting at the Gryffindor table with Luna, Ginny, and Harry when Ron came in late. He sat beside me and kissed my cheek.
"Hi, Mi'," he said with a grin at me.
"No," I said, shaking my head and standing up. He grabbed my hand and looked at me with worry.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Gently, I freed my hand from his grip. "You do not get to do that, Ronald Weasley," I told him as calmly as I could. He started to smile, but I shook my head at him. "Try to hear me, Ron. I thought I loved you for a long time. I had a crush for longer than that, but you didn't see me."
"Yes, I did," he disagreed and tried to reach my hand again. I took a small step back so he couldn't touch me.
"No. You didn't see me, and now it is too late. I moved on. Please don't try this again," I said, and then turned and left the room, leaving a bunch of bewildered people behind.
"I'll get her to see sense," Ron said, turning to look at the others. Luna stood, angry herself at that.
"She is right, Ronald Weasley," Luna said in her firm but dreamy voice. "You do not see what is in front of you. You are like a Zallywarble dancing around a table leg, trying to make it sing. But it hasn't been able to sing since it was a tree." She glared at him with her wide, silvery eyes. "Hermione is not the only one you haven't seen. You didn't even see Lavender until she was almost ready to give up on you, and then she still needed to throw herself at you just so you would notice. Others tried with whimsical hats and laughing at your jokes, and still, you don't see." Ginny, Harry, and Ron were all gaping at Luna as if she had just sprouted wings.
"So, what are you saying? I should try harder?" Ron asked her, sounding confused. Luna looked at him with disbelief.
"Unbelievable," she said, and climbed out of her chair. "Leave Hermione alone, Ronald. It is never going to happen," she told him and then walked away, wondering why it was that she too had had a crush on the clueless redhead for years. Unfortunately, hers still existed.
Later that afternoon, I was studying in the room when there was a knock on the door. I knew that knock, so I called out an easy, "Come in." I turned to see Jomny come in, and he was pulling at his ears in agitation, making me frown. "What has happened?" I asked, uneasy.
"Jomny hasn't seen his master in days. Jomny doesn't know if he has eaten or slept, and Jomny is concerned," he told me. I put my quill down as calmly as I could. I was still upset and hurt by Draco's actions and attitude when he was last here. I didn't want to go running after him, begging for his attention and affection. I didn't want to be the needy girlfriend who couldn't take care of herself. Unfortunately, I loved the lout more than was good for me, and I didn't want him to neglect himself. I knew how he got when he became stressed and overwhelmed, but I was stubborn too. I turned to watch Jomny for a moment, and he was making little agitated noises that moved me more to action than my love for Draco could in that moment.
I nodded and stood up, following him out the door. Jomny had to, of course, remind me what we were doing once we were outside of the room, and I felt a moment of self-directed disgust.
"Please, My Lady," he begged. I gave a nod, and he popped us to the seventh floor, across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. I walked back and forth, thinking I needed to talk to Draco, and hoped it worked. A door appeared in front of me, and I let out a sigh of reluctance.
"Come on," I said to Jomny before I could change my mind and knowing he couldn't get in here unless invited, just like in the RoFT.
"Thank you, My Lady," he said, sounding relieved. I stepped inside and saw piles upon piles of what appeared to be mostly junk for what looked like kilometres or more, and they were so high in some places that I had no idea how the piles were balancing. There was broken furniture, old books, rusty weapons, discarded clothes, and many other things that had been hidden or forgotten by generations of Hogwarts students and staff. I heard a sound in the distance that I thought was Draco making a sound of triumph.
"Draco," I called out, taking a step further into the room, and all at once the room went black with some dark shadow, and I saw a spell coming at me through the darkness. I only had time to curl myself around my invisible belly in protection and felt myself lift off the ground and fly backward with a scream. I seemed to freeze in midair and then lower carefully to the ground, where I was lying in a foetal position, protecting my hidden baby, and breathing hard in fright. The cloud of darkness dissipated even as I heard footfalls racing towards me.
"Jomny!" I heard Draco call out, sounding terrified, and I looked over to see Jomny kneeling on the ground and banging his head on it. "Jomny stop!" I heard Draco yell even as he rushed to my side and pulled me into his arms.
"Jomny is sorry, master. Jomny couldn't let you hurt our Lady," he said, and he sounded like he was crying.
"Jomny, you do not need to punish yourself. I told you to take care of Hermione at all costs. You followed my orders," Draco told him, and the little Elf finally stopped hitting his head on the floor, looking relieved but still upset.
"What was that?" I managed to get out but was still shaken.
"Are you alright? Is Aiden alright?" he asked instead.
"I think so, but Draco, what was that?" I asked, getting annoyed again. I pushed myself out of his arms and sat uncomfortably on my knees while he gave me an unhappy and guilty look.
"Trelawny keeps coming in drunk and leaving sherry bottles. I was sick of being interrupted, so I used some Peruvian darkness powder and a knockback curse to attempt to scare her away. You triggered it," he told me.
"Uh huh," I said, and scooted further back from him. I was close enough to a wall, so I used that to help myself up. "Jomny was worried about you," I told him when I was finally on my feet. I turned to see him kneeling on the floor, looking up at me dejectedly. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, but I was too angry to listen to the side of me that wanted to comfort him. I turned away from him and went to open the door.
"I'm sorry," he said quickly. I paused, and much like that day, I had my hand on the door with my back to him. "I wasn't going to do anything to him that day. I was merely angry that he was at the door. But then you threw yourself towards it as if you thought you had to protect him from me, and I entirely lost control of my composure."
"So, it was my fault?" I asked, feeling rage course through me.
"No!" he said, and I turned to look at him angrily. "I don't know," he said, changing his answer. "No," he said, changing his mind again with a shake of his head. He got to his feet, but stayed where he was. "Whenever I would allow myself to ponder on it at all, I was more ashamed than you can imagine, and yet, when I think about the tone of his voice through that door, I find myself wanting to do it all over again. I want him to understand that you are mine." I hated that things low in my body clenched at those words but refused to be swayed.
"Am I really? When you can leave me so easily?" I asked with hurt.
"I didn't really leave. I opened that tunnel every night and watched you sleep from the entrance," he told me.
"Oh, well, that just makes everything all better, doesn't it?" I replied sarcastically, making his eyes widen.
"I've ruined everything again, haven't I?" He asked, sounding incredibly tired. I looked at him and wanted to be cruel. I wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me all these days, but I couldn't.
"I don't know if you could," I admitted, turning my head away to look at the random junk in the room, feeling ashamed of my weakness, and that made me angry. I refused to think of this as a weakness. "I am… I am trying to forgive you, Draco, to not feel hurt and angry, but I need you to understand what you did," I told him.
"What is that?" he asked with fear in his voice.
"You reminded me that I don't actually need you. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. So yes, I will forgive you now, but don't mistake my forgiveness for weakness. Don't think that forgiving you means forgetting what you did," I told him. He had the strangest look on his face, and I couldn't read it.
He was quiet for a few long moments, then asked, "How is my little fire dragon?"
"He is fine, but Madam Pomphrey is becoming concerned with how quickly he is developing. She is trying to convince me to go home again," I replied, rubbing my cold arms, the adrenaline fading from my body.
"I'm sorry," he said again, and I looked back at him to find him watching me with intensity. "Since shortly after fourth year, my life changed more than I ever thought was possible. It became a ruin, and not much good was left. I couldn't… last year, I exerted so much effort to behave as if everything was normal, but already things were falling apart. All my friends thought it was incredibly impressive that the Dark Lord would choose to honour my family with his presence." I knew my eyes widened at that information, but he continued.
"They didn't have to live there. To witness all the…" he turned his head and swallowed hard. "And then my father failed in his mission. You're aware of the one," he said, turning back to meet my eyes again. "You were in the DOM." I nodded, even though I could see he didn't really need me to.
"The Dark Lord was furious with my father, and as a punishment for losing so many to Azkaban once again, he branded me, claimed me as one of his followers. My parents and I realised at once what it was. He intended to get me killed, and if that didn't work, he would kill my parents. He ordered me to find a way to get my aunt into the school. Apparently, there is something here he wants. He also wanted me to kill Dumbledore if I could. I presume he was of the opinion that the old wizard would execute me, even for attempting. I suspect he was disappointed every time I returned home, regardless of his order to get my aunt into the school."
"But now… Now, he has told me I have to kill Dumbledore by the end of the month using the killing curse, and if I don't, I die, regardless of finishing the Vanishing Cabinet." I gasped with horror at that part. "I love you so much, Hermione, and it terrifies me to leave you. To do all I have to do, because I am aware you will never forgive me for it. How could you when I won't be able to forgive myself? I am a wreck, and I can't even face all the people who were supposed to be my friends. But then you stumbled upon me, and you appeared to have the capacity to love me, even seeing all the damage, even being aware of who I have always been. You make me want to be a better person, and I don't want to hide from you anymore. I want you to be able to love all of me, despite the wreckage, despite my arrogance, heavy-handedness, and jealousy. I am aware I have been guarded and secretive, but it is simply what I got used to, and even the room couldn't change that. It's hard, but you're worth it and I want to be everything you need. I want to be good for you."
The first thing that entered my mind was, 'We have less time than I thought.' I walked over to him and looked into his scared grey eyes. "You have my love, Draco. I would love to tell you that it is unconditional, but I'm too pragmatic to for that. But I will tell you, I don't give up on people easily, and I believe in you." I leaned up and kissed his lips gently, and then wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling him sag with a sigh against me. In his ear, I said, "And I'm not going to let you go through this alone. We'll find a way out of this mess. Together." Unfortunately, right at that moment, I had no idea how we were going to do that, but I intended to think of something. I finally remembered Jomny, and I turned my head just enough to see him watching us with tears running down his face.
When we got back to the room, Draco was exhausted and gladly fell into bed. He was asleep in minutes, his breathing deep and even. I decided to do something I had never done before and went through his bag. I was careful not to touch any of the dark books he had in there, though neither of us knew whether they would actually do anything to me. They looked old and sinister, with titles like 'The Dark Arts: A History' and 'The Secrets of the Unforgivable Curses' and many more. And then there was the hideous pregnancy book, with all its ugliness inside.
Besides the books, there was nothing too surprising. Potions and potion ingredients, some of them rare and expensive. School books that had barely been used, their pages crisp and clean. Parchment, quills, and ink, all of the highest quality. His diary that I knew I didn't need to read; it was nothing I didn't already know about in here anyway, and I was positive that seeing what he had written would only embarrass me. And then a notebook that I had seen him writing in frequently during this year, his expression always focused and determined but also scared.
I sat reading it for hours, marvelling at the rune schemes he had tried and failed at. At the successes. He made note of everything, being sure to note every resource he had used to help him with his combinations. Later, I came across my own arithmancy sequence, and though I wasn't happy it had been used, it was such a small part of the whole that it barely mattered. I couldn't help but admire all the work he had put into this. The work he had put into rebuilding and making that cabinet work looked like the work of a Master of Runes. He seemed to have solved problems the original inventor had just accepted with their product. I could see why they had failed to become a common item within the magical world.
What Draco had created had the potential to gain him a Mastery in the future and perhaps a shared patent with the original maker. Unless, of course, he could design a new method to pass through space and time, making the Vanishing Cabinet's inventor obsolete. And from some of the notes he had made, he had a lot of ideas, including how to choose an alternate destination instead of only having two cabinets work as a pair. Each of his would be its own destination, and as long as other users had the correct code or password, there was no telling how many people could connect to them. If his Arithmancy calculations were correct, this could become the superior form of travel, replacing both Floo and Portkey, as distance would become irrelevant.
Unfortunately, none of this helped me decide what needed to be done. I looked over at Draco, where he was sleeping deeply; his eyes were dark shadows from lack of sleep. He looked peaceful and innocent, unlike his usual arrogant and smug self. I put everything back in his bag, calling Jomny to help with the dark magic books, with a feeling of impending dread. No matter how I looked at the problem right now, I couldn't come up with a solution, and that terrified me. There was no perfect person to go to for help, no glaringly obvious way that wouldn't lead to the death of Draco or someone else he cared about. But I also didn't want Albus Dumbledore to be dead at his hands.
I woke from a nightmare, my heart beating hard and tears running down my face. I gasped for air, trying to shake off the horrible images that haunted my sleep. In the dream, Draco and I had forgotten each other. We had forgotten our baby, our love, our history. We had moved on with faceless others, living in different worlds. We had other children, but we felt no joy or connection with them. Something was always wrong, always missing, always broken.
I felt a cold dread in my chest, as if I had lost the most precious thing in my life. Looking over, I saw Draco was still asleep, and I needed to reach out and make sure he was real. I laid my hand on his warm chest with its light smattering of white-blonde hair and felt his heart beating. I felt a surge of relief and gratitude, knowing that he was there, that he was mine, and that he loved me. I leaned in and kissed his cheek softly, whispering his name, but he didn't wake. Still trembling, I knelt up so I could kiss the chest my hand was still on.
I felt as if I needed to touch as much of him as I could while I could, because he was disappearing in slow pieces before my eyes. I knew it was only a dream, but it represented a very real fear, and I didn't want to let this time pass without kissing and touching every part of him. Of ensuring myself that he… that we were safe and happy in this room.
I pulled the light blanket off him and was glad the room was warm, so he didn't get cold. I ran my hands up his legs and hips and then kissed his belly. One part of him was certainly willing to awaken, and I smiled at that. Leaning down, I gave that hard part of him a long lick, making it bob in response.
"What are you doing, Love?" his sleepy voice asked.
"Making sure you are real," I told him, and he opened his eyes to look down at me.
"I'm real," he said with a slight frown.
"Good," I said, and bent back down to take him fully into my mouth. He hissed in a breath and clenched his hands in the sheets on either side of him. I made sure to kiss and suck on his balls too, which made him swear and me giggle. I took him back into my mouth, moving up and down, swirling the head of him with my tongue, and forcing the hardness of him down my throat, making him groan loudly, but it wasn't enough. I stopped what I was doing as he watched me curiously. Awkwardly, I straddled him and managed to impale myself on his shaft, making us both moan at the contact. "You are mine, Draco Malfoy," I told him, and tears stinging at my eyes again. I still felt shaken from the nightmare.
"Yes," he agreed easily, as he just watched me sit on him.
"Only mine, Draco. I will not share you," I told him, and I had to wipe away a few tears impatiently.
"Thank Salazar for that," he replied, but looked worried. "Why are you upset?"
"Bad dream," I answered, and then the tears were falling. With skill, he repositioned his legs in such a way that he was able to sit upright and draw me into a sideways embrace while still embedded in me.
"I'm here; I'm real," he told me, kissing the top of my head. "Do you want to change positions?" he asked me after a few long moments.
"No, I need…" but I didn't know how to finish that sentence because I didn't fully understand the emotion myself.
"It's okay," he said, and then laid back down. For a moment, I was stuck in indecision; I really wasn't good at this position, and the belly really didn't help. I put my hands up on his shoulders and tried to get leverage that way and managed a few strokes that felt nice, but I had no rhythm, and that was frustrating to me. "Can I help?" he asked, sounding way too amused now. Suddenly, the whole thing seemed ridiculously funny, and I laughed. Leaning down as best I could, I kissed him, but even that was hard to do past the giant belly.
"Yes, please," I finally agreed, sitting back up, and he grinned at me.
"Move your legs forward to my waist as I sit up," he told me. That wasn't hard to accomplish, so I did as he asked and then found my butt on the mattress while he held me against him as he got himself comfortable. He was really good at not pulling out of me, and even just this much movement had me humming in pleasure. He grinned again when he was sitting too. "Put your arms behind you and use them to push yourself against me," he told me. I was sceptical, but did as he said and found I really could move my hips easier this way. "That's it, Love," he encouraged, and leaned back on his own arms, watching what was happening between our bodies. "Fuck, I wish you could witness this," he told me as he watched as I moved myself on him.
"You really are a pervert," I commented, and he smirked and winked at me, making me laugh again.
"You love it," he said with confidence.
"I refuse to admit that," I told him, and it was his turn to laugh.
"This is the most magnificent sight in the world, and it is only made better because I'm with you. And one day I am going to show it to you," he promised with a groan of pleasure as I continued to move on him.
"Some of us don't have perfect stomachs," I quipped while trying to concentrate on what I was doing.
"Yours is fucking perfect," he told me. I snorted another laugh but kept going. I couldn't get a fast rhythm, but it felt so nice.
"You feel so good," I told him on a moan.
"Not as good as you," he disagreed. I just grinned and shook my head a bit.
"I think I need more help now," I told him after a few more delightful minutes.
"Okay," he agreed again, and then started moving his own body in a counterbalance. I moaned, and all too soon realised my arms were shaking too much to hold my weight up anymore.
"I need to lay back," I told him. He made a grunting sound of agreement and then moved himself, so he was on his knees. Once there, he became completely absorbed in what we were doing and pounded into me, making me moan and arch my back in pleasure. He really picked up speed then, and I cried out at the increase in sensation, and then I found myself moving my hips in time with him again, and again, and again, and feeling my orgasm building in tensity until it broke over me and I cried out loudly. My whole body was tingling, and my nipples felt as if sparks should have been crackling at the ends. Every inch of me felt electrified and boneless, and I literally couldn't move or speak. I heard him chuckle with satisfaction, but I was too relaxed to even respond. I felt him pull out of me, and then a damp cloth was wiping me clean. That had me frown and give an annoyed sound, but I was still paralyzed by my pleasure. I felt him climb back in bed and wrap his arms around me, and then everything else just floated away on a cloud of serenity.
When I next woke up, I was confused to find myself upside down and sort of sideways in the bed, and sat up trying to work it out.
"Good morning?" I heard Draco's voice, sounding amused. I had to turn to see him sitting at the table, holding a cup of tea, and reading a Daily Prophet. Everything felt wrong from this viewpoint, as if the room had been flipped upside down. And then the night's activities returned. I should have been embarrassed, but I was pleased instead and smiled. "You're in a good mood, I see," he said with his own grin, his grey eyes sparkling with happiness.
"Do I have a reason not to be?" I asked.
"Not if you are contemplating more ways to wake me in the night and take advantage of me," he replied smugly.
"I did do that, didn't I?" I said with a grin, and he laughed, pleased. He also came over and gave me a very nice kiss that made me wish I didn't need the bathroom.
"Hurry back, and you can have me for breakfast," he said.
"Did the room make me say that out loud again?" I asked.
"Yes, and, as you're aware, I love it when it does that to you," he replied without repentance.
As the next few weeks passed, we bickered endlessly and still could not agree on a plan that would protect everyone we cared about. We quarrelled over and about confiding in others, warning Professor Dumbledore, and even sharing our situation.
The idea of informing Professor Dumbledore was especially controversial because Draco didn't think that the headmaster would ever help him. He was sure that telling Professor Dumbledore would have terrible consequences.
Draco, with his typical scorn, insisted that talking to Professor Snape was useless since he was already aware of the plan. I, on the other hand, had a different opinion. I thought that if Professor Snape knew about his orders, then it was very likely that Professor Dumbledore did too. But Draco was stubborn. He was afraid that talking to either professor would just endanger his parents' lives.
I suggested talking to Harry and Ron, but he argued that they hated him too much to listen. I proposed going to the Order of the Phoenix for protection and help, but he was convinced they would kill him and refuse to help his parents. I tried to assure him that the Order was peaceful, but he just couldn't believe that. I didn't know what he had witnessed that made him doubt the veracity of my words in a room where we were incapable of lying, but he would just scoff cynically as if I were being naive.
I wanted to talk to Harry without Ron, but I was never sure how to go about it without revealing everything. Draco was adamantly against going to Harry for help anyway, but keeping things from Harry made me feel like a traitor. Draco reminded me that I had to also think of our baby's safety and that he was the most important thing in our lives now, even over a war.
We went around and around, trying desperately to convince each other of the merits or downfalls that would come from any decision. I even told him the little I knew about Professor Snape being on the side of light, but he wasn't willing to let me be wrong about that. I wasn't sure he believed in it, but at times he did look thoughtful when it came to his godfather.
Before either of us wanted it to be, the day of the thirtieth was upon us, and we were both terrified. My heart was pounding with fear as we faced the inevitable separation, not at all ready for our time together to be over.
Draco spent much of the day pacing back and forth in nothing but his pajama pants, restless and anxious, but still making sure I had everything I would need for the future. He gave me potions—more potions than I most likely would need for the coming year. He also gave me a pack, which he said contained potions and other things he had had Jomny purchase for after the baby was born, to heal my body within a matter of days rather than weeks and months.
He also produced a potion of his own design, yellow honey-coloured, that he explained would strip me of my memories. He wanted me to take it before I left my parents behind, in case I was captured or tortured, and he looked furious at the thought. I knew he had been working on something to block my memories, but I never imagined that he would want to strip my memories from me completely, and the thought of it sent a sharp pain through my heart. Even his assurance that the room would give them back to me brought me no comfort.
Every hour that passed, I felt as though my heart was breaking just a little more. I sat in a state of denial and failure most of the day, just answering his prompts that I had everything and knew how to use it. I felt like I was losing not only him and the baby, but also a huge part of myself. I thought of advocating once again that we approach Professor Dumbledore, but I didn't want to spend our last hours together arguing over something we had already been over and over.
Neither of us felt much like eating, and the few times I needed to leave the room, he accompanied me as if the thought of being apart, even for a few minutes, was unbearable. I was glad because I hated the thought too. He would hold my invisible hand tightly in his until we reached the Slytherin witches' lavatory. There, he would wait patiently by the wall, ready to take it once again on the way back.
Even Aiden seemed upset inside of me; he kept kicking and squirming, as if he sensed something was wrong. Draco made me take a Calming Draught early in the afternoon when he saw how uncomfortable Aiden was making me and that he wasn't settling down, demonstrating once again just how attentive and caring he really was, even while feeling his own anguish.
I looked at Draco with panic as the day neared dusk, and then he started talking again, but this time with something of a plan.
"As soon as I can, before I open the cabinet for my aunt, I will cast the Dark Mark into the sky," he told me, his voice somehow both empty and determined.
"You know how to do that?" I asked so softly that I was surprised he heard me. My panic had formed into a large lump in my throat, and it and my heart were hurting.
"Yes," he said, continuing to pace. "I will have Jomny come get you. I want you to go to Dumbledore at once. Tell him you were outside walking or something. It doesn't matter, just as long as you say you saw the Mark in the sky above us and feared what it meant. He will alert the Order of the Phoenix," he said with a firm nod.
"Alright," I murmured. He stopped pacing all at once and looked at the door.
"I should go. I'm supposed to begin shortly before nightfall," he breathed, sounding emotionless. I was at the door at once, shaking my head.
"I can't let you go. We've done this all wrong. This is all wrong. There must have been something we could have done," I cried, my voice breaking. I leaned back against the door, blocking his way, my heart breaking completely to pieces. He came and knelt before me, his head cuddling my large belly. I ran my fingers through his soft white-blonde hair, trying to comfort myself with the texture.
"Go with them, Hermione; go with your parents," he begged, and looked up at me with tears now falling down his face.
"You know I can't do that," I whispered back, mine falling just as fast.
"He, Aiden, he needs you too," he said, laying his hand reverently against my stomach, and I cried out at the injustice of this situation.
"He needs you too," I cried.
"Damn it!" He shouted in anger and grief, surging to his feet, pulling me into his arms, and hugging me tight. "Why can't we have this? Why does it have to be like this?" he whispered in pain as he held me, sobbing against him. "I would tell the world that I am in love with you if I could. I would be yours, Hermione… if I could."
I was shaking with emotion and said, "I would be yours, Draco… if I could." The full reality of everything fell over me, and I could see that nightmare from weeks ago coming to life before my eyes.
He took my face in his hands, lifting it so I could see his grey eyes studying me intently. "Would you scream from the astronomy tower that you love me?" He asked me softly, trying to get a smile out of me.
"I would shout it from any rooftop you wanted me to… if we were free to be who we are… here," I told him, not able to smile at all. "It is hopeless. We are on different sides of this war, and I can't abandon Harry. I don't know if you believe how important he is, but if there is to be hope of any kind of future for children like Aiden, we have to win," I told him.
"I believe," he said, and I nodded at the sincerity in his voice. "Hermione," he said, and I watched as he grimaced in guilt and anger. "Promise me you will remain up in your old dorm tonight. Promise me you won't leave it. I… Tonight, as you're aware, I have been ordered to complete my task. You… I can't express the fear that's consuming me and how much I wish I didn't have to do this, but I can't risk him killing my parents, and he won't hesitate if I fail him," he said, looking terrified.
"Don't, Draco. Don't kill him. There is another way; there must be," I begged him even though I understood what he would be risking, but I had a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.
"I wish…" he swallowed. "I'll do my best. For you, I'll do anything, but that is all I can promise. Please don't hate me if I fail," he said, and more tears rolled down his face. I kissed him.
"Make love to me one last time. I really need you to hold me once more before you go," I told him with all the honest misery my heart felt. I didn't need to prompt him more than that. His lips were on mine, and I was kissing him. What little clothes we had been wearing were coming off, but slowly, as if this were much too important now to rush through. Somehow, we ended up at the bed, where he held me from behind and made love to me with care and reverence as we both cried. I could feel his tears on my shoulder and running down my neck as mine soaked into my pillow, and completion came with more heartache.
"I'm so sorry, Love. I should have listened to you. Seeking help from anyone would have been better than no one. I'm going to fix this, I promise you. I promise you, I will fix this." I just nodded, not knowing what else to say now. "Do you believe me?" he whispered.
I swallowed hard and replied, "I believe you mean what you are saying."
"Roll over, Hermione. Let me spend some time kissing you. Let me spend more time loving you before I have to go," he said, even as he rolled me himself. Once again, I couldn't speak, and I really wished the tears would stop falling, but my mind was telling me that this was the end. That we were over, and no amount of promises now was going to change that.
My body also seemed to be trying to keep him here because he had to work harder than ever before I reached my end, and when I did, it was so sudden it took my breath away, and I cried because I was so overwhelmed. He seemed to understand, though, as he entered me once more and moved slowly, as though he were also trying to delay his departure.
"I am yours, Hermione Granger, now and always, no matter what comes next," he told me as he looked down at me.
"I am yours, Draco Malfoy, always and forever," I replied, looking back up at him and wishing those words were going to be true for longer than just another month.
"I am going to make you keep that promise," he said, even as he kept moving slowly.
"I hope so," I said with a shaky breath. He nodded and then moved faster until he found his own completion. Once done, he withdrew from me and then got off the bed. I turned my head to look at the wall, not able to watch as he prepared to leave me.
He came around to my side of the bed, his fingers grazing my cheek, and said, "I have to go now, Love, but I promise, no matter what happens, I will come back to you. Even if you hate me, I'll find my way back."
"Alright," I said, meeting his eyes and watching the determination in them. He leaned down, took my face in his hands, and kissed me thoroughly.
"I love you," he whispered, still holding my face and looking into my eyes.
"I love you," I repeated past the lump in my throat.
"Dress and prepare yourself," he instructed. "It'll only be about fifteen minutes until I send up the Mark."
"Arrogant," I commented, even as I felt my heart fall to pieces. He smirked at me, though it seemed forced, but then turned to leave. "Wait, Draco. I've just realised something," I said, sitting up and catching his arm before he could walk away.
"What is it, Love?" He asked, turning to face me again, his hand returning to my cheek, and making me smile at him for the gesture because I knew now, I would never tire of him touching me and me him.
"He wants something from Hogwarts. From the Room of Requirement," I said, and he nodded and bent down to press his lips to mine for another kiss. His face a picture of agony that tore at my own frayed heart. "We can't let him have it," I said as I lay back down on my pillow. Leaning up on my side had become too uncomfortable. Draco reached down and drew the sheet up over me.
"I can't halt this course of action now, Hermione. He'll murder my parents within the hour if I don't go let my aunt in," he said as he moved his hands to either side of me and held me trapped with the sheet. "Jomny," he called without taking his eyes off me. "I'm truly sorry, Love. You know I am. But you also understand that if it were your parents at risk, you'd do everything within your power to protect them."
"Draco, you don't understand…" I was saying urgently even as I tried to struggle out of the sheet, but a knock sounded at the door, and Draco spoke over me.
"Come," he said, still holding me prisoner with the sheet.
"Draco, listen to me. It…" I was saying, but he turned his head to look at the little House Elf who had entered the room.
"Jomny, I require you to keep Hermione immobilised until I leave the room. Following that, you are to exit as well and then seal the outside so she cannot leave until I give you further instructions," he ordered him, and I growled, offended by his high-handedness and more than a little annoyed. In the next moment, I felt as though I was glued to the bed.
"You can't do this, Draco Malfoy! You are making a terrible mistake. He is…" I was saying urgently even as he started to caress my face again, wiping away tears with his thumbs.
He kissed me hard, silencing me. "I'm aware. I love you. Please forgive me," he said, then spun away and hurried out of the room.
"Idiot!" I shouted after him, but the only eyes that met mine were the big blue-green ones of his House Elf, who looked at me with shame.
"Jomny is sorry, My Lady," he said, and backed out of the room, finally releasing me from the spell and allowing me to sit up. I knew it was useless to check the door, but I couldn't help myself, and I hit it hard with the palm of my hand when it wouldn't budge.
"It might be a Horcrux," I said hopelessly, pressing my head against the hard wood as more tears fell. I was angry with myself more than him. I was astounded at how I had failed to notice such a critical detail amidst everything he had revealed that day in the Room of Requirement. I had chosen not to inform him about the Horcruxes for two reasons: firstly, it wasn't my secret to share, and secondly, I was fearful of the consequences if Voldemort discovered Draco's knowledge of them. "I'm starting to think pregnancy has made me stupid," I said, and then got that eerie feeling I sometimes got when I was in the room alone, as if it were listening to me.
I was dressed and as composed as I was going to get when Jomny knocked on the door a short time later. I called out for him to come in, and I had never seen a House Elf look as sad as he did just now. Perhaps Winky, but I still thought this looked different. Jomny looked sadder, and I went over and hugged the little guy. He was surprised at first, but then hugged me back with his skinny and oddly long arms.
"We must go, master," he said in a low voice. I nodded, too distracted to notice the change in title, and picked up my journal, which I left open on my trunk so I could see the notes I had written myself.
"I need to see Professor Dumbledore at once," I told him. Jomny nodded, then concentrated, before looking back at me with distress.
"The headmaster is not in the school," he told me, and I frowned myself.
"Professor McGonagall, then," I decided, not wanting to waste a moment of time.
"Of course, master," he replied obediently, and I did notice it that time but didn't have the time to think about it just now. He popped me in front of the deputy headmaster's office, and I knocked.
I heard her familiar stern voice saying, "Enter." I opened the door and saw Professor McGonagall sitting at her desk, looking very busy. She looked up and saw me, and her expression instantly turned disapproving, and dropped back to look at her work. "Miss Granger, what can I do for you?" she asked without looking at me.
"I wanted to see Professor Dumbledore, but Jomny has informed me he is away at the moment…" I started, but she interrupted.
"He is a busy man, Miss Granger, and he does have other responsibilities," she said shortly, sounding annoyed.
"I saw the Dark Mark above the school just now," I blurted, and finally she did look up at me. She gasped and dropped her quill back onto her desk. Her green eyes widened as she looked at me with disbelief and worry.
"Are you sure, Miss Granger?" she asked in a shocked tone.
"Yes, Professor, I'm sure. I saw it with my own eyes. It was huge, green, and glowing. It's not a sight one can mistake," I said with a hint of sarcasm that I never would have thought myself capable of when speaking with her. She narrowed her eyes at me, and I was saddened that our relationship had deteriorated to this point, but I wasn't going to be ashamed just because she seemed to think I should be.
"Go to the common room and stay there. I will alert the Order and the other professors at once," she said as she stood up. She put her wand to her throat and called the Heads of the Houses to her office immediately, and then headed towards her fireplace. She grabbed a handful of Floo powder and threw it into the flames. I left her office then, knowing I had done all I could.
Even though the common room wasn't far away, I still allowed Jomny to pop me outside the portrait hole. Two things were obvious. Jomny was not going to be leaving my side until I was safely inside, and I had no clue what the password was.
"If you do not know the password, you cannot enter," the rude lady in the portrait told me.
"Could you please let..." I began, but Jomny made an impatient noise and popped away, surprising me. A short few moments later, the door swung open, and a confused Ron was standing on the other side.
"This belong to you?" He asked, amusement now in his voice, and gestured at the House Elf by his side. He was only dressed in pajama pants, and I blushed despite myself. Like Draco, he was built like a runner with nice definition, but I felt like I didn't need to know that he had freckles even on his chest and shoulders.
"A little early for bed, isn't it?" I commented, my voice curiously devoid of panic, as I stepped through the portrait hole, ignoring the protests of the fat lady.
"Harry is out with Dumbledore, and nobody was willing to play chess with me," Ron said casually, but he was looking at me with a grin on his face, as though he was pleased I was embarrassed to see him half dressed.
"Oh, no," I exclaimed, instead of paying the look any attention. My voice still sounded wrong to me, which helped make it clear to Ron that now wasn't the time for flirting.
"What is it?" he asked, suddenly concerned, and took my arm to lead me towards one of the many couches.
"Put on a shirt, Weasley. Some of us really don't need to see that," Cormac commented, and Lavender giggled from where she was sitting on his lap.
"Yeah ah…" Ron said, suddenly remembering that he was in the common room half-naked and that every person present could see him. He let go of my arm and turned to leave, but I grabbed his to stop him. I took a step closer and whispered into his ear.
"The Dark Mark is above the school." There were a few cat calls and jeers at what people must have assumed was some kind of embrace, but Ron looked back at me with a horrified expression. He looked around the room and spotted Ginny.
"Go tell Ginny. She has been making sure the DA still meets. I'll be back in a moment," he said, and then sprinted up the stairs. I wasted no time going over to Ginny and explaining the situation to her. At first, she had misinterpreted the scene between Ron and me as well, but then she was all action. She took out her fake Galleon from her pocket and tapped it with her wand, sending out messages to all those still active in the DA.
I saw many heads around the room look over suddenly and give slight nods, including Lavender, who quickly disengaged from her boyfriend's lap. Ginny was quick and efficient in getting everybody ready to leave the room, and many of the rest, especially the younger years were all looking at us curiously.
I was trying to decide how to best explain why I couldn't go with them and what I was going to say to Ginny and Ron when the decision was made for me in the form of Professor McGonagall and Bill Weasley stepping through the portrait hole.
"What is going on here?" Professor McGonagall demanded.
"We are helping," Ron responded at once.
"You most assuredly are not Mr. Weasley. In fact, everybody, your attention, please," she called out loudly. "Until further notice, you are all confined to the common room. Anyone who steps a single foot outside this portrait tonight will find themselves on the next train home. Do I make myself clear?" she asked. There was a lot of grumbling, but agreements could be heard.
"Professor McGonagall," Ginny said firmly as the older woman turned to leave. "Professor Dumbledore himself approved the people of this group to help in times of emergency. I promise you, we have all been working hard to prepare for this." I was impressed with Ginny's stern commitment in the face of the older women's disapproval. Professor McGonagall looked ready to protest but then seemed to think of something.
"Gin, I don't think…" Bill started to say, causing both Ron and Ginny to give their big brother hard looks but Professor McGonagall began to speak, cutting him off.
"Very well," she agreed, causing Bill Weasley to give her a shocked look. "But only those who have trained." Then she turned to look right at me, where I stood next to Ron. "Not you, Miss Granger; you stay here," she said meaningfully and with that ever-present disapproval.
"Surely whatever illness she has isn't all that important she cannot help. She is one of the best at spells," Ron argued. I rubbed my stomach automatically at that comment.
"I assure you, it is quite impossible," she told him, and then looked at me and said, "Don't you agree, Miss Granger?"
I felt a pang of guilt as I nodded. A part of me wished I could tell them the truth, but I knew it was too dangerous. "I'm sorry, Ron, Ginny. I can't help," I said. Everyone looked at me curiously but otherwise filed out. Ron was the last to go, and he looked reluctant to leave me behind.
"Be safe," I told him. He nodded and ducked out. Professor McGonagall and Bill left too. "Jomny," I whispered, hoping the little Elf was still close by.
"Yes, master?" he asked, popping into view again.
"Can you do anything to guard the entrance? I don't want any of the students trying to leave, and I absolutely don't want anyone coming in who shouldn't be," I told him.
"Yes, master," he replied and popped away, so I assumed he was going to do as I asked.
"What in Hades is happening, Granger?" Cormac and a few others came over to where I still stood by the exit.
"The school is under attack," I said, not realising just how true those words were. Turning, I went to sit on a couch I could watch the door from. I hoped they wouldn't ask me any more questions because I didn't have any answers.
Draco's Point of view
I took the time climbing the stairs to the seventh floor to practice my Occlumency after I had finished reading all my notes. There was no way I could face my aunt like I was now, especially given the thoughts I was entertaining. She wouldn't show any restraint at all in getting into my mind if I showed any kind of weakness or reluctance in my role, and I couldn't put Hermione in that kind of danger.
I reached a window that overlooked the grounds of Hogwarts, and I marvelled at its beauty. The sun was setting behind the hills, painting the sky in orange and purple hues. The lake and the forest appeared peaceful and calm, as if nothing was wrong. The castle stood tall and proud, as if it could withstand any attack. But I was aware that everything was about to change and that this could very well be my final view of Hogwarts as it was. I pondered if it would still appear this way if the Dark Lord won the war.
I took a few additional minutes to work on my Occlumency, fully aware that I needed to present an image of determination, confidence, and loyalty to the cause my aunt believed in wholeheartedly. I found myself having to suppress nearly all my emotions merely to muster the strength to move, and I hoped that would suffice.
"Jomny," I summoned, hearing the void in my voice, and wasn't bothered by it at all. He popped before me, and I pulled a letter from my pocket. His large blue-green eyes widened in shock, at once understanding. I had told him already I thought it might come to this.
"No, master," he said at once with feeling, his bat-like ears sagging, but I was too empty inside to do more than deliver lines now.
"I am going to hand you over to Hermione's care. I don't think she will appreciate that, but she will take care of you and you her," I informed the House Elf, who had been my friend for as long as I could remember.
"Jomny will care for your Lady always, master, and your little fire dragon too," he said. He had come to care a great deal for his Lady.
I nodded and said, "I have one final order. Go back to Hermione at once when we are done here. She will tell you where she needs to be. And naturally, do your utmost to ensure her well-being."
"Of course, master," Jomny said, sounding sad enough for the both of us.
"The Dark Lord will kill you if I don't free you from my command," I informed him, receiving a small nod in return, even though I was already aware of his indifference to that. "I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, free you from my service and give your bond freely to Hermione Jean Granger," I declared in a hollow tone, extending the letter towards him. The letter was addressed to him, so I was certain he would read it. Jomny accepted it with a trembling hand, but the agony of a truly severed bond never arrived. Instead, he experienced a pleasant heat that transferred his ownership from the wizard before him to the witch several floors below them. With nothing left to say, Jomny popped away to his new master.
I turned to the window I had minutes ago marvelled at and felt absolutely nothing. I conjured the Dark Mark and then walked over to open the door to the Room of Requirement. However, before I could, something occurred that hadn't happened in months. The coin that I had all but forgotten in my pocket heated. I took it out to find that Dumbledore had been sighted in Hogsmeade. I hoped that meant he would Apparate back, and I thought the most logical place for that would be up on the astronomy tower. I hoped I got to him before he went back to his office.
After entering the RoR, I began my way to the Vanishing Cabinet when I remembered my diary was still in my robe pocket. Pausing, I set it down with a book that was unmistakable to me, one that I was certain I would recognise again should I have the opportunity to return for it.
In a short amount of time, I had the Vanishing Cabinet set to receive its visitor, and I stepped back to watch runes shine in sequence along the wood. Then the door opened, and my aunt stepped out, appearing as unhinged as ever.
"Draco," she said proudly and came to plant an insincere kiss on my cheek, and still I was unmoved. She regarded my dead face and smiled as if I were doing something intriguing. I was about to speak when the runes lit again and someone else stepped through wearing a mask of metal. I felt a flicker of fear shoot through me, but I fought it back down even as I wanted to question what was happening. "Go, Draco," she told me with an insane smile. "Go complete your task while my friends and I have a little fun." I glanced at her and simply nodded. I was always pleased to leave her company, but now I was even more set on my new course of action. If I had access to my emotions now, I was positive I would have been praying to Salazar that I wasn't making a mistake.
Before I had a chance to exit the room, the Werewolf Greyback and a few others ran past me. Greyback gave a snarl as he did so, obviously attempting to scare me. It didn't show, but he did scare me, albeit not in the way he had intended. He was in too much of a hurry to see if his snarl had affected me, however, so it didn't matter.
Once I had re-emerged into the corridor, I had to walk for several minutes to reach the wing that contained the astronomy tower. I also had to duck into alcoves a number of times to avoid the flashes of spells, as somehow the Order and the Death Eaters had both managed to get here before me and were fighting in earnest.
My emotions surged back to flickering life when I saw students were also fighting, and given the proximity to Gryffindor Tower, I was certain they would mostly be from there. A witch with brown hair had me suck in a breath of alarm for a moment until I realised everything else about her was wrong. Nevertheless, I was scared that Hermione was out here somewhere, being as brave and foolish as her housemates. I broke into a sprint, and the corridor was swallowed by darkness as night descended in full force.
I trod on a body on the ground and almost tripped, and the emotions I had strived so hard to bury a short while ago came flooding back as the horror of what was happening crashed down on me. I turned again and dashed up the spiral staircase as if the hounds of hell were upon me. The sound of voices reached my ears, and I thought I was too late to keep my promise.
With wand in hand, I shouted, "Expelliarmus!" hoping to save the old wizard from an attacker. Only a moment too late did I realise that it was him I had disarmed. I glanced around to locate the other person, hoping I still had time.
"Good evening, Draco," the old wizard greeted, as if the glow of the Dark Mark wasn't all that was lighting the night.
"Who else is here?" I inquired, my panic still palpable, spotting the second broom on the floor.
"A question I might ask you. Or are you acting alone?" He queried conversationally.
"No, there are others," I told him truthfully, and then I met his eyes, about to beg for his help, and he sucked in a shocked breath.
"So, it is you. I must confess to being surprised, and there is not much that surprises me at my age. You have more to hide than I had ever realised," Dumbledore said with a frown, and I thought he was coming to the wrong conclusion.
"She has never betrayed anyone. She wouldn't do that, and I wouldn't ask her too," I told him defensively.
He nodded and said, "I can see that, Draco, but unfortunately others won't agree. The young have a habit of seeing the world in black and white. They don't yet have the experience to know it is all shades of grey." He sighed and slid down to the floor, and for the first time, I realised he was sick or something.
"Death Eaters are here," I said in a renewed surge of panic at that realisation.
"You found a way to let them in?" He inquired, and I was surprised anew to hear the admiration in his voice, as though he were talking about a piece of well-done homework.
"The Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement. I fixed it," I muttered with fear, acutely aware I was visibly shaking.
"Ingenious," said Dumbledore. "Yet… forgive me… where are they now? For someone with such an important task, I would have thought you would have had support." I simply shook my head at that. "Ah," he said, as if he understood, and I believed he did.
"And do you think you can do it? The task you have been set to?" He questioned me with curiosity.
"I have no choice," I told him, and felt a tear slide down my face. I wiped it on my shoulder and refused to let anymore fall.
"Wouldn't have worked anyway, I am afraid," Dumbledore told me with pity. "She has quite stripped you of any hate you truly had for anyone." I frowned at that.
"You don't know what I am capable of," I said forcefully, with a lot of self-loathing and guilt. "You don't know what I've done!"
"Oh, yes, I do," said Dumbledore mildly. "You almost killed Katie Bell and Ronald Weasley. You started the year trying to kill me, and then it stopped. I should have realised then, I suppose, but the connection just seems so preposterous. Wouldn't you agree?" he queried. I swallowed and averted my gaze, unsure what to say to that. Once, I was certain I would have agreed with him, but too much has happened since then.
"You could help us," I said, and even I heard the plea in my voice.
"It is too late for that, Draco. If only you had come to me months ago," he said, sounding truly remorseful.
"She had wanted to, but..." I began, my voice laden with guilt so profound it felt as though I could vomit, when the door banged open and shouts came up the stairs. I took a step back and raised my wand again by reflex, yet I was acutely aware I was powerless to defend us against Death Eaters, and I hadn't even realised I had ever lowered it. I could hear the sounds of continued fighting coming from down below, and I swallowed, hoping more innocents weren't dead. Knowing there was one was horror enough. Footsteps came thundering up the stairs, and suddenly I was shoved out of the way by four Death Eaters in their black robes. I recognised the Carrow twins and Greyback, but the identity of the final individual eluded me still, despite the fact that he appeared to be the same one who was wearing a mask earlier.
"Dumbledore cornered! Dumbledore wandless, Dumbledore alone!" Amycus exclaimed, giggling excitedly to his sister. He then turned his lopsided leer towards me and said, "Well done, Draco, well done!" I wanted to protest, but strangely, Dumbledore gave a little shake of his head at me.
"Good evening, Amycus," said Dumbledore calmly, as though this were nothing more than a tea party he was welcoming guests to. "And you've brought Alecto too... charming..." Alecto gave an angry little titter at the old wizard.
"Think your little jokes'll help you on your death bed, then?" she jeered.
"Jokes? No, no, these are manners," replied Dumbledore, and I couldn't help but admire the wizard for his bravery and dignity in the face of certain death.
"Do it," Greyback hissed at me, causing me to startle. He smirked at me, his eyes gleaming with expectation.
"Is that you, Fenrir?" Dumbledore inquired, drawing the Werewolf's attention away from me, and I was at a loss as to why. He had already said he couldn't help me. He couldn't help Hermione.
"That's right," rasped the werewolf. "Pleased to see me, Dumbledore?"
"No, I cannot say that I am…"
Greyback grinned, showing pointed teeth. Blood trickled down his chin, and he licked his lips suggestively, obviously enjoying the show he was putting on. I was relieved his attention wasn't on me because I shuddered in revulsion.
"But you know how much I like kids, Dumbledore."
"I am a little shocked that Draco here invited you, of all people, into the school where his... loved ones are," Dumbledore stated, his gaze shifting back to me.
"I didn't," I breathed, not daring to cast my gaze at Greyback as he turned to glance back at me. "I didn't know he was going to come..."
"My friends and I wouldn't miss a trip to Hogwarts, Dumbledore," Greyback rasped with amusement and threw an arm around me. "We were all a lovely surprise for Draco here too," he said, and he ran a disgusting sharp nail down my cheek but thankfully didn't puncture the skin. I also noticed he stunk to high hell. "I'm still feeling a little peckish, actually. Shall I have you for afters?" Greyback queried the old wizard.
"No," said the unfamiliar Death Eater. His face was heavy-set and brutal, and he had an accent I couldn't quite place. "We've got orders. Draco's got to do it." I frowned at the casual use of my name, but he ignored me and added, "Now, Draco, and quickly." I was aware that my terror was evident. I didn't want to do this. I wanted to keep my promise to Hermione, and Dumbledore's gaze fell back upon me, his features etched with pity.
"He's not long for this world anyway. I don't know what you hit him with, Draco, but you may as well finish the job," Amycus added his approval. "Look at you, Dumbly," Amycus addressed Dumbledore again with another laugh.
"Old age happens to all of us eventually, Amycus. One day, perhaps, it will happen to you… if you are lucky…" Dumbledore said.
"What's that mean, then, what's that mean?" yelled Amycus, suddenly enraged. "Always the same weren't yeh, Dumbly, talking and doing nothing, nothing, I don't even know why the Dark Lord's bothering to kill yeh! Come on, Draco, do it!" Thankfully, we were all distracted by the sound of renewed fighting from down below.
"Now, Draco, quickly!" The brutal-faced wizard yelled angrily at me. I attempted to lift my arm, but it was shaking so badly that I could barely aim. It didn't help that Hermione was all I could think of.
"I'll do it," snarled Greyback, almost shoving me out of the way as he moved towards Dumbledore.
"I said no!" The wizard shouted and blasted the Werewolf out of the way. I pondered who he was that he had the right to order us all about. It wasn't that I doubted that authority; it was merely that I had thought I had met all the inner circle, but clearly, I was wrong.
"Draco, do it, or the Dark Lord will punish you," Alecto screeched, but at that precise moment, the door to the rampart opened, and there stood Severus, absorbing the scene with a single, piercing glance.
"We've got a problem, Snape," Amycus said to him, but his eyes and wand were on Dumbledore. "The boy doesn't seem able…"
"Severus please?" Dumbledore suddenly implored, and the tone sent a jolt of dread through me. Severus advanced, pushing me back without so much as a glance in my direction. The others all fell back, aware Sev held more command here than any of them. "Severus... please..." Dumbledore repeated.
"Avada kedavra!" Severus said with apparent ease, and greenlight shot from his wand, hitting Dumbledore in the chest. My eyes were wide with disbelief. Hermione had been wrong; there had never been a chance. It all appeared to happen in slow motion to me as Dumbledore's body lifted and fell over the side of the rampart.
The others were laughing and whooping with joy while I stood in place, frozen. Vaguely, I could still hear fighting coming from down below. The others were gone when Sev came over and roughly pulled me by my robes.
"We have to go, Draco, now," he told me, but I couldn't move. I didn't want to leave. I had promised Hermione I would come back. I didn't realise I was meeting his eyes until he swore.
"Salazar preserve us and saved us from the recklessness of fools in love," he said, his gaze fixed on me. I spun around, intent on making a swift exit from the tower down the stairs, when I felt his hands latch onto my robes once more, halting my departure.
"No!" I screamed in agony, wrestling against his grip, determined to return to Hermione.
"Imbecile!" Sev snarled with a cold fury as he forcefully steered me in the opposite direction. "The Order would not think twice about ending you right now. You would appear as nothing more than a threat to them."
Sev had to protect the both of us as he pushed me past the fighters, but I couldn't see to help anyway. Tears were clouding my vision; I couldn't believe I had failed Hermione and our son so thoroughly, and I wasn't certain I wanted to go on if I couldn't be with them. Nothing else held any importance now. Not even my parents.
"I saw a potion in your mind. Have you tested it? Does it work?" Sev queried when we were on the ground floor, his hand on my shoulder to keep me moving.
"Yes," I replied, crying. Part of me was embarrassed to be crying in front of these people, but thank Salazar, only Severus was aware of the reason.
"Take it. Now!" Severus ordered as we stumbled out of the castle.
"I don't want to forget. I promised I would be back," I cried, shaking and running in a stumble.
"You want them to die then?" He questioned me cruelly, right as we heard Harry Potter scream his name. "Go into the forest with the others. Take that potion now and wait for me," he ordered, giving me a shove in that direction.
I turned back for a moment, my gaze lingering on the castle. Then Potter came into view, and I was aware my time was up. In so many more ways than I wanted it to be.
I turned and ran, taking the potion from my robe pocket. I swallowed the contents in one go and tossed the phial aside without care for where it landed. I cried as I thought of every moment, every thought I had had outside of the room to do with Hermione Granger, to do with our baby. The Carrows both laughed at me because they both thought I was overcome with emotion because of Dumbledore, but I couldn't allow myself to think about that until I was certain everything else was gone. Somehow, I managed not to lose that memory for the most part, even though some of the encounter didn't make sense to me anymore.
When Snape emerged into the clearing, he stared at me for a moment, and then, in a rare display of emotion, his expression turned saddened. I thought he was disappointed with my actions tonight.
"Let's go," he said, and he took my arm and me, away from Hogwarts.
Author's notes: - ForsakenKalika, Rkook1210, ARandomGirlInRavenclaw, and uhmeuhh. Thank you for leaving comments. They are appreciated more then you know.