All of Harry Potter and anything related to it are the sole property of J.K. Rowling.
(Each title is derived from a song that, I believe, complements the overall narrative, if not the individual chapter.)
Malfoy Manor 30th June 1997
Snape's Point of view
Bella's screams could be heard from just outside the door to Malfoy Manor, and just from the sound, I knew she had failed in her mission for Voldemort. Later, when I was by myself, I knew I would revel in the sound of that psychotic screaming for mercy from her love. 'Love!' Her reality of love sickened me, while the terrified boy beside me seemed to have found the real thing, only to have it hidden so far in his subconscious, I wasn't sure he would ever find it again.
The Dark Lord lifted his wand from the Crucio he had been aiming at Bella then left her where she lay on the floor, for just as long as it took him to go retrieve a knife from over near his throne of bones and skulls, and I winced internally, knowing he was in a rare fury tonight.
Thorfinn Rowle was also careful not to move from his prone position on the floor, obviously having been tortured just minutes before.
"No, no, no," she said, backing away from him as he turned back towards her with it. "It wasn't there. I promise, I searched. It wasn't there," she cried loudly as he knelt beside her. He took her face in hand as though he were touching the lover they appeared to be at times.
"I know, Bella. I can see it in your mind, but you also ran as soon as you thought someone was coming, and for that, you need to be punished." He then sliced the cursed knife down her cheek, splitting the skin to the bone as she screamed in agony. "Don't worry, Bella," he said calmly to her. "Severus will fix you right up, but you will have a reminder on your face to never let me down again." He then leaned forward and roughly kissed her lips, then used his disgusting serpent tongue to lick the wound. "Yum," he said with satisfaction. Bella had stopped screaming and was looking at him with glazed, passion-filled eyes, even as blood poured from her face. "Severus," the Dark Lord said to me shortly, roughly pushing her away as he stood.
"Yes, My Lord," I said at once and dug into my pockets for a Blood Replenishing Potion as well as some others. I wasn't going to be able to stop all the bleeding with magic, but I had a little Muggle skin glue that everyone here thought I had crafted myself.
"Where is Gibbon?" Voldemort asked no one in particular, even as he took in the returning Death Eaters and Werewolves who were still entering the large receiving room.
"Rowle killed him when we were fleeing the castle," Alecto said in a tone of a child tattling to a parent, and then shared a gleeful chuckle with her brother. The Dark Lord paid no attention to the duo and gazed at the wizard lying on the floor behind Bella.
"Thorfinn?" The Dark Lord asked.
Rowle licked his lips and forced himself into a sitting position before saying, "He was hit with a curse meant for Lupin when we were on our way out, My Lord." He was screaming in pain again as he was hit with another Cruciatus Curse. Voldemort released him after ten seconds and turned to move towards where I had left Draco standing.
"Tell me, Draco, how did your mission go?" He asked, and I looked over, hoping the Dark Lord wouldn't see the concern hidden in my eyes.
"Dumbledore is dead," Draco replied, and sounded dead himself. Alecto and Amycus both laughed at that.
"But he didn't do it," Amycus crowed, and then they both laughed again. I made sure to keep my face schooled as I worked on Bella.
"Tell me, Draco," he said again, sounding more dangerous because of the cool calmness. "Did you have the opportunity to kill the old man?"
"Yes," Draco answered, and even I heard him swallow in fear from here.
"My Lord," Lucius suddenly said, surprising us all into looking at him. He had been careful not to address the Dark Lord directly for months. "If my son has failed, isn't it for me to punish him?" he asked with stupid bravery. Something he had never shown before.
"It is," the Dark Lord agreed. I had to use all my Occlumency skills to keep my heart from beating harder. I had done all I could for Bella for now, so I stood and watched just as everyone else was. "Did you fail me, Draco?" he asked, turning back to the boy.
"Dumbledore is dead, and I got Aunt Bellatrix into the school," he replied, but kept glancing at his father as if he hadn't seen him in a long time.
"Yes. Two good points," the Dark Lord agreed and started to pace as if he needed to ponder something. "Come comfort your son, Lucius. He looks a little shaken from this night's excitement," he said, as if it were all understandable. Lucius started slowly, but then rushed over and pulled Draco into his arms.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I heard him whispering repeatedly, and I knew it was a reckless thing to be doing here.
"What are you sorry for, Lucius? Surely you are proud of your sons' achievements?" the Dark Lord asked conversationally.
"I… I'm sorry that…" He stopped and licked his lips. "I am sorry I couldn't have helped him."
"Ah," the Dark Lord said, and I had to force myself not to look away or grimace as I wanted to. I knew that answer never meant anything good. Before anyone knew what was going on, the hilt of the cursed knife was sticking out of Lucius's chest. Narcissa screamed, and Draco's eyes went extremely wide in shock. Lucius, on his part, simply looked down in confusion and then dropped to the ground, dead. The Carrow twins were laughing in delight, and Narcissa was crying loudly over by the wall, but the rest of the room was silent. The Dark Lord walked over to the body, claimed Lucius's wand, and then pulled the knife out before looking back at Draco with a smile. "I don't like liars," he told the boys. Draco, for his part, looked too shocked to respond in any way.
"So, if Draco didn't kill Dumbledore, who did?" he asked, back to his conversational tone. Just before anyone could answer, a gong sounded throughout the house. That would have been fine, but a second chime sounded as the other was still fading, and everyone who knew what they meant turned to look at Draco curiously. I knew this was going to get worse.
"Draco?" his mother asked, sounding terrified anew, and that was quite a feat considering her husband's dead body was still warm. Draco looked back at her without comprehension.
"Oh, Draco, you have been a bad boy this year, haven't you?" The Dark Lord said with amusement and then laughed. Many laughed with him, and I knew most did it because they feared what he would do if they didn't.
"My Lord?" Draco managed to ask and still just looked shocked and confused.
"My Lord?" Voldemort mocked, and everyone but myself, Draco, and Narcissa laughed loudly. The Dark Lord smiled at everyone and paced around in delight before looking back at Draco.
"Can this be?" the Dark Lord asked, taking a step back towards the boy again. He took the boy's face in his hands, so he had no choice but to meet his eyes. "Very clever, Draco," he said with admiration. "You have stripped your own memories." He laughed again when Draco frowned, not knowing what he was talking about. "Tell me, Narcissa," he said, marching over to her. He took her face roughly in hand and said, "Do you know who has taken your place as Lady Malfoy?" Nobody said a word, and when he was done searching her mind, he pushed her away, much as he had Bella.
"Who killed Dumbledore?" he asked the quiet room.
"I did. My Lord?" I said, stepping forward.
"Did I tell you to kill Dumbledore, Severus?" he asked me.
"No, My Lord, but time was of the essence. Draco had already disarmed him and had him on the ground, but the Order of the Pheonix was coming, and I thought it best we get out of there," I explained to him.
"You thought," he said. "YOU THOUGHT!" he yelled, and the knife flashed out and caught Draco under the chin. The boy gasped once and clutched at his throat while blood poured from between his fingers. "That is your punishment, Severus," he said as I watched Draco collapse to the ground. This time, Narcissa ran over to her son, unable to obey and stay where she had been put. I too took a step forward, but the Dark Lord stopped me with the knife to my chest.
"I think. You follow orders."
"Of course, My Lord," I agreed.
"Save him if you can, Severus, but either way you will return here. You are lucky you are useful, Potions Master, or that would be you bleeding out on my floor."
"Yes, My Lord," I said, and as he moved aside, I lurched to the floor, praying I wasn't too late. Thankfully, the wound was not as deep as Bella's had been, but he was bleeding profusely. His mother had taken charge, pressing the wound shut. I cast a spell to slow the bleeding and administered Blood-Replenishing Potions, but I knew the glue was useless for this injury.
"Cissy, tie your scarf around his neck. I have to take him to get aid." She nodded and obeyed me swiftly. She knew the Dark Lord was never going to let her leave here now. "I will inform you of his condition," I said, boring into her tear-stained eyes and hoping she understood my message. She nodded briefly, meeting mine, and then stepped back so I could hoist Draco clumsily into my arms. He was far too big to be carried like this, but I had no alternative. Everyone observed silently as I stalked hastily out of the room with my barely living cargo. When I got outside, I Disapparated to a place I had only looked up on a whim and hoped I was not erring now.
Hogwarts 1st July 1997
Hermione's Point of view
I went to the room early the morning after Professor Dumbledore had been killed. Draco Malfoy had fled the castle with the invading Death Eaters, as had Professor Snape. They were both branded as traitors; they had both been accused of taking away our hope and our leader, and with it what some thought was hope for the future.
It took seconds for everything to consume me. I fell on to the bed that we had shared for months now and cried as I confronted everything I had been ignoring all year—things that branded me as a traitor. I wished it made a difference to how I felt, that it would stop me from watching the door with hope as the hours passed. I wished I could convince myself to let him go and accept Harry's insistence on what he claimed Draco had done, but I didn't believe it. I didn't believe that he would really do it, despite what I knew he had tried to do earlier this past year. I trusted Draco's words to me too much to think he would break his promise to me. I loved him too much to just let go, and I spent hours hoping that he would come back to me.
When the door finally opened, I sucked in a breath of relief only to have grief consume me once again when it was Luna who entered instead of him.
"I had a feeling I would find you here," Luna said with a look of pity on her pale and tired face. By the time she had the door shut behind her, she had regained her calm and serene demeanour. She looked me over as she came and sat on the bed, but made no comment on the stomach that couldn't be hidden here.
"I was wrong, Luna. I might just die for my love of him," I cried, knowing she didn't know what I meant. Luna smiled sadly and moved closer to me. She wrapped an arm around me and stroked my hair gently.
"I know how much you love him. And I know he loves you too." She paused and looked into my eyes. "I see you, Hermione Granger. You're like a sturdy oak, too strong to be toppled by the fiercest of storms." She pointed at my stomach and said serenely, "I also know you won't give up because you have someone else to live for now. Someone who needs you more than anything. Someone who is a part of both of you." I sobbed harder and buried my face in her lap. I knew she was right, but it didn't make the pain any less. I felt like I had lost a part of myself when Draco last left this room, and I didn't know if I would ever get it back.
"Harry is telling everyone that he tried to kill Professor Dumbledore. It isn't true… I mean… I never believed he would actually do it. And Bill, poor Bill. And Neville got hurt…"
"Shhh, calm down, Hermione. Your little one is upset," she told me in her soothing voice, placing her hand on my large belly. I gasped as I remembered I needed to be calm for him; he was pushing at me from inside.
"I am a traitor," I whispered to her when I was calmer, tears still rolling down my face.
"That seems rather unlikely," Luna replied easily. "Sometimes things aren't as black and white as we would like. Sometimes things don't need to make sense to make them real."
"I chose myself over everyone else's safety. I put everyone at risk to keep this baby a secret," I confessed, my voice quivering with guilt and fear, the weight of my actions pressing heavily on my heart.
"Oh, Hermione, you shouldn't blame yourself. You did what you thought was best. And your baby is a magical blessing," Luna replied, her voice a soothing balm, as ethereal and comforting as a lullaby.
"I need to talk to Harry and Ron, but the thought of facing them... I just can't bear it right now," I admitted, my watery eyes fixed on the wall behind the bath.
"I understand. And I will tell them anything you need me to if you like," Luna assured me, her voice gentle and reassuring, a beacon of calm in the storm of my emotions. "Don't be afraid, Hermione."
"They are never going to forgive me for this," I told her, the words heavy with regret.
"They love you too, and I'm sure they will forgive you in time. They are your family, after all. Your best friends."
"Thank you, Luna," I said for her kind words, hoping she was right.
"What would you like me to say to them?"
"They must go to the Room of Requirement. There was something hidden there that Voldemort wanted. I have no idea if Bellatrix found it, but I hope not. Tell Harry to try summoning the room by thinking, 'I need what Tom Riddle hid.' If that doesn't work, they will have to search through the room that so many people have hidden things in. I dread the thought of them having to do so, as it could potentially take years," I explained, the gravity of the situation weighing heavily on me.
"I see. That sounds very important. I promise to tell them as soon as I can. Harry is very determined, and Ronald is very brave. He will help him. I'm sure they will find whatever it is, if it is there," Luna said, her voice optimistic.
"Tell them they will have to go to the chamber and use a Basilisk fang to destroy whatever it is. They must exercise extreme caution with the fang and cannot take it with them. Even dragon-hide won't provide protection from the venom for long. The poison would eat through it," I explained, hoping she would convey the severity of my words to them.
"I will relay your message. That sounds very scary. And potentially very painful, but I believe they will be alright," she said with a serene smile.
"How are you always so sure of yourself, Luna? Don't you ever doubt?" I asked her and wished I could even have just half of Luna's optimism to help me through this dark situation.
"I never doubt feelings. They are always truthful, you know," she replied.
"How do you know what people are feeling?" I asked her.
"I'm a Heliopath. I see things other people can't," she said simply.
"Oh," I said weakly, then added, "I'm not familiar with that term."
"That's all right. It's a rather forgotten magical gift," she replied.
"Draco and I spoke of who we would have asked to be Aiden's godparent if we could have chosen one," I told her as I stared across at the bath and wished the tears would stop falling. "It would have been you. Perhaps that seems strange, but I have felt closer to you this year than either Ron or Harry, and Draco felt like he was completely alone… except for me," I said and let out a hard sob again.
"I accept, of course," she said as though I had really asked her, and then looked at the ceiling and said, "Oh, how pretty."
"Draco had them put up for Valentine's Day," I told her. I didn't have to look up to see the enchanted stars and moon that still hung along the ceiling. It had seemed terribly romantic to me at the time, but now I felt like they were just more proof of my deceit.
"No, I don't think so. The room liked the idea of making me your son's godmother and approved with a shower of sparkly flying creatures. I think I will call them Sparkflies," she said, reaching out as if she could touch one gently. She pondered for a moment, then added, "I think you will find that magic will agree now that I am Aiden's godmother," she explained, and I frowned through my tears.
"Why can't magic make all wishes come true?" I asked sadly.
"Because it doesn't have control over free will. We are still humans, and let preconceptions guide us instead of letting magic truly show us the way," she said as she continued to stroke my hair. "I would think it has tried, though."
"How do I know if it was all real?" I whispered.
"Wrackspurts don't lie, Hermione. Draco's were reaching out to yours for a long time, but he always dragged them back with force. Yours paid no notice, of course. They were too busy trying to get Rons to notice them, but his were shy. Imagine my surprise when, one day, they started to dance back and forth between the two boys, looking very confused. Draco's Wrackspurts were delighted, and he rarely fought the pull you had on him then. You, of course, continued to be confused for months, while his fell completely in love. It was a beautiful show to watch," Luna confessed wistfully.
"I think I need to leave," I whispered suddenly. "I don't think I can be here anymore."
"I think that is a good thing," Luna agreed. I pushed myself up into a sitting position to look around the room that still held so much of him.
"I can't leave this like it is," I commented.
"Jomny will help, master," Jomny's voice said as he got up from the floor on the other side of the bed. I hadn't realised he had been sitting there or that he was even in the room, but I wasn't surprised.
I looked over at the dreamcatcher and commented, "Draco will have nightmares without that," and then gasped as another sob tore out of my throat. Luna pulled me tight against her again until I could stop crying. "I'm sorry," I whispered to her.
"I hope I love somebody this much one day," she replied.
"It hurts," I confessed. The pain in my heart was crushing, and I felt like it was hard to even move because of it.
"Maybe that is your proof it is real," she mused. I just nodded and then climbed off the bed. I looked around, unsure where to start. I saw my journal sitting on the table and walked over to it. I felt as if I should be hiding it away, like the lie my life had become. I saw the Charms book Draco had given me in the bookcase and went and picked it up.
"Jomny?" I asked. "Can you please do something with these?" I asked, handing him the book and my journal. "The dreamcatcher, can you…" I couldn't continue as I buried my face in my hands.
"Jomny will make sure everything is well taken care of, master," he told me when I trailed off, not sure what I wanted done with the items. "Jomny will pack up the room. Jomny will put everything where it belongs."
"Thank you, Jomny," I managed to say in relief.
"Sir Elf. Can I request that you visit with me later tonight and share with me what has been spoken of today?" Luna asked him. Jomny looked at me, clearly waiting for my approval or refusal.
"I don't mind what you share with Luna. She has my trust," I told him, and he nodded. Luna smiled at him gently again.
"Come on, Hermione. Let's go see Madame Pomphrey. She'll make sure you are able to leave," Luna said, taking my arm. I nodded and walked to the door. I stopped and looked back at the room, knowing another piece of myself was being left behind here.
Luna's Point of View
I never had trouble holding my head up and admiring the world around me, but today I just couldn't look up when it wasn't necessary. There were too many Wrackspurts and Nargles around, and my brain was having trouble processing so many of them. They blurred my sight and spun my head as they clung to or swirled around all the students that dared still walk the corridors.
Even the castle seemed heavier to me today, as though the weight of the stones had doubled and was threatening to push us all down into the soil of the earth with it. I thought it was rather fitting, really. Everything should be gloomy and quiet after what happened last night, at least for a little while.
As I was walking along the corridor towards the astronomy tower, I spotted Peeves lying on the ground next to a suit of armor, looking so much weaker than usual, his expression confused and lost. His usual lively and playful spirit was as dim and pale as if he were just another ghost and not the colourful, vibrant poltergeist he truly was.
"Peeves can't seem to move, Moonbeam," he whispered in a voice that was barely audible. It was a name he had originally used to tease me himself, and he never saw a reason to stop using it.
I had always been fond of Peeves. He may have been a prankster with no notion of how far to take things, but he disliked seeing needless cruelty and so had always come to my defence when he saw someone trying to hurt me.
"In a day or two, the chaos of youth will come back to those who live here. Not all are truly grieving for the loss of Headmaster Dumbledore. Some are simply scared of what is being felt around them. Rest assured, Mr. Peeves. You will be feeling like yourself before too long, and you can go back to bringing the chaos that the school needs," I told him. I knew that Peeves flourished on the energy and excitement of the students, and that the sombre and tense atmosphere of the castle was sapping him of his vitality. But I also knew that human nature would have things return to normal again, quicker for some than for others. Sooner would surely be better for the poltergeist, though.
"I hope so. Peeves doesn't enjoy feeling like this... this feebleness," he whined, sounding pitiful. I nodded and continued my trek.
I had chosen to check the astronomy tower before Gryffindor Tower because I remembered what I had needed when I had lost my mother. Even though it had frightened me, I had returned to the spot where I had last seen her alive. It seemed to me that if I didn't go there, I might have lost the memory of what it was like when she was in the room. And when I got there, it was as though I could still feel her in that space—that the weight of the energy her physical body had left behind still existed even if she didn't.
Harry had very few people that he called family, but Headmaster Dumbledore was someone he loved as a member of his. 'Poor Harry,' I couldn't help but think. He seemed to keep losing his family over and over again, and always because of the same person in the end. If it wasn't necessarily at his hand, it was certainly at his command.
As I stepped into the tower, I spotted both Ronald and Harry sitting on the stone floor. They were sitting side by side but seemed so distant from each other in their twin sorrows. They were both lost, adrift in a sea of grief. Ronald was like a ship without a captain to steer the way or an anchor to steady him. Harry was surrounded by a swirling mass of Nargles and Wrackspurts. Full of confusion, grief, and fury. He appeared like he was in a daze, staring hollowly at the spot where Headmaster Dumbledore had fallen. I knew he would be unreachable for a time, and that caused me sorrow for the suffering he had to bear so regularly. Ronald kept looking at his friend as though he wanted to reach out to him, but even he could see there was little point at the moment. He understood that Harry had to sort out his feelings in his own way and that no words could calm his grief.
Hermione had been in a similar state to Harry when I left her in the hospital wing, though her Nargles were much more subdued because of her deep sadness and guilt that I was concerned was going to become a melancholy. Even if it did, I had faith in my friend's ability to find her way back. She was a very strong witch who I truly believed could weather any storm.
I felt bad for interrupting Ronald and Harry, but I had given Hermione my word that I would bring her messages, and I had to trust they were very significant, given all that had occurred only a little more than half a day ago.
I settled next to Ronald, who seemed startled by my presence, but then he smiled gently, and I could see he was glad not to be alone anymore. He was not a person who was used to being alone, even though I knew he sometimes wanted it. But it was different to want it on your own than to have it thrust on you by circumstance.
"Hermione is going home," I said softly, breaking the silence of the open tower. Ronald looked bewildered for a brief moment, but then he nodded. His loneliness grew stronger then. Harry's wrackspurts had glowed with more confusion at the mention of Hermione's name, but otherwise he didn't appear to notice what I had said.
"Is it 'cause of her illness?" Ronald inquired, his voice unusually quiet.
"Somewhat, though I do believe that is the most suitable place for her now. She will need her family's support for a while. She is also in pain. The last day has been difficult for all of us," I said. Harry's Wrackspurts reacted once again, mixing hints of guilt and sorrow with his confusion at the mention of her illness or possibly her pain.
I knew how much Hermione mattered to both of them and how much they depended on her for knowledge and support. She was the glue that stuck them together, the brains that solved their problems, and the heart that loved them even to the detriment of her own happiness. They never seemed to notice how much she gave of herself to meet their needs and how much it hurt her when they chose each other over her. I really hoped Harry and Ronald would come to realise these things before it cost them the gift they all had in each other.
"Do you know what's wrong with her?" Ronald asked me, but I could see that even though he was concerned about his friend, he just disliked the quietness he had been sitting in.
"Yes," I answered simply, and smiled when Ronald nodded his acceptance of the word without any notion of asking for more now. "She asked me to give you both a message. She would have spoken with you herself, but she isn't up to traipsing all over the castle at the moment."
"What's that?" Ronald asked. Harry had a flicker of interest flash through his Wrackspurts and tilted his head a little too, though his eyes were still fixed on a spot by the rampart wall.
"She told me that You-Know-Who sought something from the castle. From the Room of Requirement. And that Harry should ask it to show him the things Tom Riddle hid," I uttered to Ron, but I could also see Harry.
Harry's head finally wholly turned so he could look at me, and I made certain I met his eyes. His power looked dangerous behind those green eyes to me at the moment. I was convinced that he would spare no effort to inflict pain on the duo he held responsible for depriving him of another person he cared for. If they were in this tower right now, I was sure he would unleash his fury upon them. His blame was a sharp sword, and his eyes were the mirrors of his inner storm. His power was so mighty that I imagined there was a strong possibility he would win now that his grief was being pushed behind a furious will.
"How does she know that? What would make her even think that? Voldemort was after Dumbledore and made the ferret do it," he all but growled, his voice harsh and bitter. I wasn't upset; his anger wasn't meant for me. Still, I was faced with a predicament I had never experienced before. I had to choose if I was going to protect one friend for the benefit of the other.
It was lovely to have friends. I had waited for such a long time to find any. I didn't mind, though. I knew I saw the world differently than others and that I spoke of things that unsettled them. But I also have always believed that a friend who couldn't embrace all of me wasn't a true friend at all.
In Hermione Granger, I had finally found that. I found that rather amusing. She and I were so dissimilar in so many ways, but after the battle at the Ministry, she stopped questioning every little thing I did or said and simply began to understand that not everyone needed to see things the same way.
Ronald and Harry and even Neville had also become friends; though, I knew they still found it uncomfortable to be around me when I perplexed them. Ginny believed herself to be a good friend to me, but she was extremely fickle in her attentions to me, and what wouldn't bother her one day would anger her another. She cared too much about what others thought, was too concerned with fitting in, and was too afraid of being different to truly accept me for who I am.
Hermione never let her confusion with me anger her. I could see at times she still struggled to understand, but she would find a decision within herself and either ask a question or move on from the moment. I like that.
Still, I wasn't comfortable with the notion of lying to Harry now, not when it seemed unnecessary, and so I used a bit of my own truth to divert his attention from his inquiries.
"Do you recall when you were instructing the DA last year? Sometimes you would make a pained sound when in there. Maybe it's related to that," I mused and then continued before he could question it. "She also informed me how you ought to destroy the object if you manage to locate it. She said you were aware of where to find a Basilisk fang. But she warned, you must not attempt to take it with you later because there is no secure way to transport it and someone would get poisoned by mistake."
"Right," Harry said, jumping to his feet with renewed purpose, his frown never leaving his face. "Thanks, Luna," Harry added, and started to walk away even as Ronald was still getting up.
"May I come with you, Harry Potter?" I asked, stopping him in his tracks. I really didn't want to intrude, but I also didn't want to have to go back to Ravenclaw Tower common room or even my dorm or the Great Hall. The Wrackspurts and Nargles were simply overwhelming in their numbers today.
"I don't…" he began awkwardly. I could see he didn't want me going and was trying not to hurt my feelings, but I felt deflated anyway. Not that I showed him that. It wasn't his fault that I too didn't want to be alone, even if being around too many people hurt right now.
"Yeah, sure, Luna," Ronald said from behind me, and I saw the disapproval and confusion in Harry's Wrackspurts before I turned to face Ronald. I was in time to see the sheepish look he gave his friend.
"Thank you, Ronald Weasley," I said with relief, and watched as some of his Wrackspurts moved over to dance around a few of mine. 'That was new,' I thought, but I was also pleased.
"That's okay. I've actually been wanting to talk to you about what you said in the Great Hall a few weeks ago," he told me softly as we began to walk, following Harry, who was walking much quicker than us. I decided to tease Ronald a little. I could see he really needed cheering up. Too many of his Wrackspurts were blue-grey with what I was almost positive was his loneliness right now.
"About Zallywarbles?" I asked him. "They love to hear the trees sing, but the poor creatures get so confused sometimes."
"Er, no, not that," he said, looking adorably confused, but he smiled, and his ears went a little red. He blushed more when I smiled at him. It was nice, and his Wrackspurts were really paying attention to mine now, but I also knew he had a habit of indecision and confusion when it came to witches. I wasn't going to allow myself to think he fancied me when he was in the emotional state he was in now and while also knowing how he felt about Hermione.
"Certainly, Ronald Weasley. Let's chat while we search for this thing that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named desired."
Soon after, the three of us were in the little room that the Room of Requirement had made for us. A small collection of items, such as a plain silver chain bracelet that looked Muggle-made, a charmed quill with a broken tip, and a potion that looked to have gone hard in the phial, was sitting on a table. All these items had apparently been placed in this room by Tom Riddle long ago. Not all were dark and sinister, but one especially had an aura so evil that it made me feel both ill and saddened to see it.
"That is the lost Diadem of Ravenclaw," I said with wonder, moving towards the crown that was sitting inside an open wooden box for a better look despite the darkness I could see coming from it. I knew it from the stories my mother had told me. She and my father had also been Ravenclaw's and loved everything about the House they grew up in. She had never seen it herself, of course, but she had always wished to.
It was amazing to me that I was seeing it now, and felt for a moment as though my mother was near and glad for me. It was a silver circlet with a large sapphire in the middle, carved with the words, 'Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure'. It was made by Rowena Ravenclaw, one of the founders of Hogwarts, to enhance the wisdom and creativity of whoever wore it. It was a priceless and legendary artefact, a symbol of Ravenclaw's pride and heritage, a treasure of the magical world. And yet it lay before me, all but ruined.
"No!" Harry said at once, panic in his voice even as Ronald reached over and pulled me to a stop and back against his side. The two shared a look that was full of hidden secrets, but I knew not to pry. If they had wanted me to know their thoughts, they would have shared them.
"I wasn't going to touch it." I reassured them as tranquilly as I could manage so they wouldn't be concerned, but I couldn't completely hide the sadness in my voice. I could see the beauty of the diadem, but I could also see the corruption. I could see the contrast between the light and the dark, the good and the evil, the pure and the tainted. I could see how something that was meant to be a gift of knowledge had become a curse of madness. I could see how Voldemort had twisted and perverted the legacy of Ravenclaw and how he had dishonoured and betrayed the spirit of Hogwarts. I hoped he hadn't done it to other such treasures, but I knew evil didn't care for the feelings of others.
"I only wanted a closer look. It is even more lovely than I imagined, but dark magic has spoiled it. I think if someone wore that now, they would be driven to insanity in seconds. Only a truly evil person would do this to something that began as something meant to share and increase knowledge in those who sought it for pure reasons," I said, shaking my head. Harry and Ronald shared those glances that conveyed shared secrets again, but I didn't mind.
"Bloody hell," Ronald said with feeling as his eyes moved back to stare at the diadem, then looked back at Harry and added, "We need to bring this to the chamber." Harry nodded mutely again before looking around as if searching for further things, but I could see the confusion and uncertainty in his Wrackspurts.
"Shall we make it float, Harry Potter? I am quite good at the Locomotor Charm," I told him. He peered back at me again, and I could see his thinking processes were quite jumbled today in his conflicting emotions.
"We have to get to the girls' bathroom on the second floor without anyone spotting this or us," Harry stated as though he was working through a difficult problem. He was barely finished talking when a new door appeared in the wall next to him. He went and opened it at once. "It's a passage," he said in a dull voice, and then grumbled something under his breath that neither me nor Ronald could hear. By his Wrackspurts, I could once again see anger, confusion, and uncertainty crowding his emotions.
"We might as well give it a go, mate," Ronald said, trying to be encouraging. Harry nodded and lit his wand with a Lumos before looking back at me.
"If you're okay with floating it, Luna, that would be really helpful. I'll go first. You follow, and then Ron can follow you," he told me.
"Alright," I agreed, and Ronald nodded his agreement, glad that a plan had been made. I smiled at him softly once more as he let go of my waist, and redness touched his ears again. I followed Harry, glad myself that we had something to concentrate on now instead of sadness, anger, or pain.
Somewhere on the edge of London, July 1997
Hermione's Point of View
It hadn't taken long to get me on the train back to London. Professor Dumbledore's funeral was being arranged for later in the week, and only the students who wanted to stay for that weren't going home today themselves. The seventh and fifth years had to stay the next two weeks regardless of what was happening so they could sit their exams.
Jomny had been upset that he couldn't simply pop me home, but had explained he couldn't pop somewhere he had never been if there was no magical point for him to fix on to. He sat beside me on the train the whole way without concern for the occasional curious looks we got before I activated the privacy spell on the glass door.
Before leaving Hogwarts, I had sent a brief note to my parents with Aquila, Draco's eagle owl, informing them that I would be arriving at King's Cross Station at six PM. I had no clue what I was expected to do with the bird that had seemingly been entrusted to me, but I hoped it flew to London fast enough for my parents to get my message. If they had been at work, there was a possibility I would have to take a very costly taxi ride, and I didn't know how I would manage that with Jomny. Invisibly, was my guess.
By the time the train arrived, I was in a full depression. I knew it was happening but was not inclined to feel any emotions now. Emotions meant hurting, and I was so over crying. I had spent the whole journey staring out of the window, watching the scenery change from green fields to grey buildings. I also changed into the ridiculous green cocktail dress with a light black cardigan to conceal some of it. I made sure to stay on board until everyone else had departed. I may have been done with the robes that hid my pregnancy, but I wasn't trying to put my baby in danger.
When I stepped off the train, my dad was waiting for me on the platform. He looked relieved to see me, and he pulled me into a quick, hard hug. He looked down at my belly but chose not to say anything. The shock in his eyes at how big I was said it all.
"I hate stepping through that wall. Gives me the willy's every time," he told me, still hugging me around my shoulders as we walked towards the barrier that separated the magical and non-magical worlds. I just nodded.
I felt him keep glancing at me in concern as we walked, but I was so sunk into myself that I didn't even notice that he hadn't commented on Jomny or my apparent lack of trunk. He helped me into the Lexus and then went around to the driver's side. I expected him to start the car, but instead he just sat there and tapped the steering wheel while looking contemplative.
"What is it?" I managed to get out, and my voice was curiously void. He looked at me and then leaned over to the glove box and grabbed what looked to be two different potion phials. I was curious about that, and yet the deadness had me remain silent.
"We had a visitor late last night that suggested I have you hold onto these before I explain," he said, placing them into my hands while frowning worriedly at my face. One of the potions was blue and the other was pink, and I recognised them both at once.
"May I, master?" Jomny suddenly asked from the back seat, and my dad gave a little scream of fright that should have been funny, but even that couldn't touch the nothingness.
"What is that?" My dad asked, staring at the House Elf as if it could be a demon or something.
"Jomny is a House Elf," I replied, but I couldn't find the strength to explain further than that.
"Is it… Is he friendly?" He asked cautiously, leaning hard against the door and still looking back at the House Elf as if Jomny might bite him.
"Jomny is Lady Hermione's House Elf and will always be kind to her family," Jomny said proudly, his large bat-like ears flapping and his large blue-green eyes shining with loyalty. My dad's brown eyes goggled as if he had seen a dog speak to him. I hugged my arms around myself at hearing Jomny say he was mine. He was supposed to be Draco's. I pushed any thought of Draco away fast, knowing if I thought of him again, I would cry. Jomny gave a nod as he sniffed both potions and gave them both back to me.
"You had a visitor," I prompted my dad when he continued to stare at Jomny in the back seat.
"What? Oh, yes," he said, seeming to remember what he was doing. "A professor from your school turned up on our doorstep carrying a young man he claimed is your husband." I blinked at that.
"I'm not married," I said in a vague, confused tone; not much else had really registered yet. My dad grunted but looked down at my stomach and then away. He started tapping the steering wheel again as he looked intently out the front window.
"He was very hurt, sweetheart," he said softly, his voice full of anxiety.
"Who?" I asked, not understanding.
He turned to look at my face and said, "Draco." I frowned, but then my heart started to pound hard as adrenaline surged through me.
"The Calming Draught, master," Jomny prompted me. I took off the cap and drank it at once, feeling the effects start to take instantly.
"Is he alright?" I managed to ask even as the potion was still trying to fully work.
"I need to explain," my dad said, turning back to his side so he could take one of my hands and watch me. "He should have been in a hospital, but your teacher refused. He said it wasn't safe. He also kept pouring red potions down your young man's throat, but…" He shook his head and then took another breath. "I am so glad your mum and I have a habit of bringing our work home with us," he commented, making me frown. They had never treated anyone at the house, as far as I knew.
"Your teacher explained that a cursed knife was involved, that the bleeding was going to be very hard to stop, and that only the Muggle way would heal him. I hadn't had to do that much sewing of that kind since my rotation days." I was completely lost and had no idea what he was babbling about. "Your mum was just as uncomfortable, but it took the two of us. The blood was coming so fast, but your teacher kept pouring potions into him. Eventually we had him sewn up, but he was… is a mess," he said, his voice bleak.
"Your teacher left those potions for you and others for Draco. He left us instructions on how and when to use them, and he said he would try to return but that it wasn't safe. But Draco lost a lot of blood," he said with another shake of his head. "I'm just not sure if it is going to be enough. Nobody should lose that much blood." I blanched and blinked a lot, trying to understand.
"I don't understand." I started babbling in confusion, shaking my head as I frowned. "I don't understand what you are saying. What teacher? And Draco is hurt? I don't understand; he left the school, and he did everything he was supposed to do."
"Said his name was Severus Snape," my dad said, and I gasped to know the man who had killed Professor Dumbledore was in the home of my parents. My dad was watching my face with a bit of fear and added, "Draco's throat was cut." I felt a violent wave of pressure on my stomach and dove for the potion in my hand. I swallowed the pink potion in my hand and then passed out.
When I woke up, it was the middle of the night, and tentative moonlight was barely perceptible through my window. For a moment, I was comforted to be in my room, surrounded by all my books and the remnants of my childhood. There was a slight breeze coming through my window that was open a crack, and the lace curtains were dancing around. I wondered if Luna would see a magical creature in that and gave a little smile as I thought of my friend.
Aiden was also awake and kicking me in the ribs and pushing hard on my bladder. I got up and went to use the bathroom. When that was done, I stood listening to the peace of the house. I moved towards where I knew the guestrooms were, and as I reached a door, Jomny popped in front of me.
"You should go back to bed, master," he said worriedly.
"I need to see him, Jomny," I whispered.
"Please," the little Elf started, but then shook his head and his shoulders sagged. "He is asleep, master," he said, sounding sad.
"I won't wake him. I just need to see him," I replied.
"Promise Jomny, you won't stay," Jomny begged. I bit my lip for a second, and then nodded. I moved forward and opened the door quietly. The room was in dark shadows, so Jomny cast a soft light above the bed. I could see Draco's chest moving up and down with breath, and there was a large bandage stained with blood under his chin. I gasped at what I was seeing, my hand flying to cover my mouth.
My parents had gotten a stand from somewhere and were running fluids into him with an IV. I knew he wouldn't understand what that was if he woke, and possibly be scared by it. There were also potions lined up on a bedside table, and even from here, I could see they were mostly Blood-Replenishing and Pain-Relief Potions.
"Will you go back to bed now?" Jomny asked, but didn't sound like he had hope I would. I had made a promise, though, so I nodded and turned, going back to my room. I decided to take a Pregnancy-Advancing Potion knowing it would help me sleep, and besides, I still had to take them at some point.
When I woke up the next morning, the first thought I had was, 'You need to be calm. Aiden needs you to be calm.' I also told myself Draco was alive and would live. I had to believe that. I forced myself to smile and greet my parents as I went downstairs for breakfast. They looked worried, but they allowed me to act as if nothing was wrong, and they seemed to want to do the same thing for now.
"Would you like to go shopping today, sweetheart? We could get you some clothes," my mum told me in a gentle voice, but I was already shaking my head. I had already gone in and taken a shirt from my dad's walk-in wardrobe. He had looked at it and then went back to his grapefruit and newspaper without comment.
"I just want to stay here. I might sit with Draco for a while," I told them easily, which had them both looking at me with worry again.
"Your teacher said it could be a few days before he wakes," my mum added after a tense silence from the two. She sounded hopeful, but I could see the fear in her eyes.
"That man is no teacher!" I snapped, which had them both look at me startled. "He is a murderer, and it is only because he is Draco's godfather that he even bothered to try to save him." I felt a surge of anger and bitterness as I thought of Snape, knowing he had killed Professor Dumbledore. Jomny popped in, making them both jump.
"Do you require a Calming Draught, master?" Jomny asked, looking at me with concern.
"No, thank you," I replied, and went back to my eggs.
"Master? Is he a slave?" My dad asked with a bit of derision hidden in his voice, but I knew him too well and knew his feelings on those subjects.
"Jomny is no slave. Jomny is a good House Elf and serves his master with pride and shared power," he told my dad, sounding offended.
"Really?" I asked. I hadn't known about the shared power part. I had always assumed that House Elves were bound by some kind of magic that forced them to obey their masters.
"Yes, master," he said with a happy nod. "Jomny can use his own magic and make his own decisions, as long as they do not harm my master or her family."
"Can we do anything about the title? It took me a while to get used to hearing my lady, but I really do think I preferred that. Unless, of course, you will call me Hermione?" I asked him with a bit of hope.
"Jomny will call you My Lady, but you will still be my master by bond and magic. Lord Draco gifted me to you," he explained, as if that were the most natural thing in the world.
"I see," I said, frowning. I really had never wanted to have a House Elf. No matter Jomny's feelings, it still felt like slavery to me.
"Lord Draco," my dad said with a little laugh. "They certainly are pretentious in the magical world, aren't they?" He gave me a tentative smile, as if he were worried I would snap again. I just smiled and nodded my agreement. I didn't want to be angry with anybody, not now. I wanted to focus on Draco and hope that he would wake up soon.
Determined to act as if everything was alright, I took my notebook with me into the guestroom. For months, I had been studying spells that I knew would be important when Harry, Ron, and I set out on the Horcrux hunt. I had always known Professor Dumbledore wasn't going to be able to help as much as Harry had hoped, but I hadn't expected him to be gone just yet, and certainly not in the way it had come about. I allowed myself a moment to wonder once again if that was the thing in the school that Voldemort had been so desperate for. If it was, I hoped he hadn't found it and that Harry and Ron would.
I came to a stop as I stared down at him on the bed. The bandage had been changed, but blood still dotted the fresh one and pooled to one side as if trying to escape. He looked so fragile and vulnerable, nothing like the proud, strong-willed, and arrogant wizard I had fallen in love with. I pondered how those could be looked at as bad things, but Draco was also incredibly loyal to those he loved, and I didn't think that was a trait anybody could look down on. I carefully climbed onto the bed and took his hand in mine. It was cool and limp, but I squeezed it gently, hoping he could feel it somehow.
"I love you, Draco," I said, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Please come back to me." He was unbelievably pale, and there was a slight blue hue to his lips. I could see a huge bruise under and around the bandage on his neck, and I hated that something so horrible had happened to him. I didn't understand it at all. From what he had said, Voldemort should have been pleased. All he had been told to accomplish was done.
I should have felt like a hypocrite that I wasn't angry at him for the death of someone who was important to me, but I firmly place the blame for that at the feet of the one who cast the curse. I wiped the tears from my face quickly when the door opened and slid back, supporting my belly so I could stand before sitting in the chair by the bed.
"Any change?" My mum asked, I think, just so she could say something. I shook my head anyway. "This stuff is amazing," she said as she picked up a phial of red potion and then poured it into Draco's mouth. "Do you know if us… we non-magicals can use it?" she asked conversationally.
"Some can, but it isn't really recommended unless a healer is giving it. Some Muggles react badly to magic. Some magicals react badly to a lack of magic," I answered. She nodded and then picked up the milky-coloured Pain-Relief Potion, checked her watch as if to see how much time had passed, and then poured it down Draco's throat.
"I think he will be alright, sweetheart," she told me, and then ran her hand over his forehead, brushing the white-blonde hair back a bit. "He really is handsome. A little thin and pale but still very handsome," she commented, smiling at me.
"He's beautiful," I whispered, gazing at his pale face. She nodded, that soft smile still in place. "Dad was worried about the lack of blood," I commented, and then looked at her face to see her answer. She looked down at him with a frown.
"He stopped breathing several times, and we had to use CPR. Even your… even the wizard was panicked then. Your dad is concerned with how long he was without oxygen, but the wizard seemed less so. Your dad and I still think he would be better off in a hospital, but that man was quite adamant that that would not be a good idea," she explained.
"Alright," I accepted worriedly and rubbed my belly to comfort both myself and Aiden.
I spent as much time as I could just sitting with him over the next day and a half. Most of the time I studied my notes, but sometimes I read to him when he seemed to become restless. On the second day of his sleep, I had my parents remove his IV and other things. He had pulled on it a few times in his sleep and made himself bleed. Jomny also assured them that he was capable of making sure he stayed hydrated and comfortable. They didn't like it but did as I asked. I used a healing salve to heal the small puncture wound, and my parents were impressed once again when all trace of it disappeared in an instant.
That night, he had nightmares but still didn't wake. I had Jomny retrieve the dreamcatcher and attach it to the headboard, and though it didn't stop the nightmares, it calmed him some. When he cried in his sleep, I climbed into the bed and held him until he quieted again.
Neither Jomny nor my parents would let me spend all my time in the room with him, however, so I wandered the house at times, restless when I wasn't with him. Even swimming didn't help alleviate the extra tension, though the water was cool on these unusually hot days.
I was floating in the pool with my eyes closed, enjoying the feel of the sun on my body. The water was cool and soothing, and I felt a gentle breeze caressing my skin. I had had to wear the two-piece bathers that I had never particularly felt comfortable wearing. They were bright red with white polka dots, and they hugged my curves in a way that made me feel exposed.
I had liked them when I first bought them, of course, but my dad had been furious when he had seen them two years before, and the idea of them since then had filled me with too much embarrassment to wear them. Unfortunately, my one piece did not fit, and I assumed I was safe from prying eyes in my own backyard. That assumption was wrong.
A crack of Apparition had me panic and sink for a moment. I spun to see Snape standing in my yard, his black robes billowing even in the light breeze. His face was stern and cold, and his black eyes were fixed on me with a piercing glare. Jomny had put up a shield between the wizard and us, a shimmering blue wall that did nothing to block his view. I didn't know how strong it was, but I appreciated the effort.
"How dare you come here!" I shouted as I swam towards the steps. Then got to my feet and waddled out awkwardly, quickly grabbing a towel from a pool lounge and wrapping it around myself, feeling vulnerable and exposed.
"I have come to check on Draco," the man answered in his usual low, menacing tone. He was standing there, watching me with a cold and unreadable gaze. It made me angry that he hadn't even pretended to give me some privacy and turn away.
"Feeling guilty?" I spat nastily.
"You have no idea what you are talking about." Then looked down at my towel-covered stomach and said with a sneer, "Although you do appear to be even more reckless than I thought possible."
"Now who doesn't know what they are talking about?" I sneered right back. It didn't make any sense, but I was angry and really didn't want him here.
"I know more than I wish to," he said knowingly, and I blushed, instantly embarrassed. "I assume Draco is still unconscious?" I nodded. "I thought so. You seem to be ignorant of the fact that he has no recollection of you." I swallowed hard at that, trying not to feel the pain that knowledge brought. Snape did not look pleased by his cruelly delivered words, however. "It was the only way he could protect you both," he continued, gesturing at my stomach.
"It's why he created the potion. He wants me to take it as well," I confessed. Snape merely nodded.
"Are you prepared to stand by him, Miss Granger? Even knowing that he has forgotten you and your child?" he asked abruptly.
"I love more than just our memories together," I told him heatedly. He raised a black eyebrow at me.
"And will you support him in his grief? His father was murdered in his arms. Can you be there for him as he mourns a man you loathe?" He asked without heat. His tone today confused me, and I was horrified by what I was hearing, but I didn't appreciate being underestimated.
"Believe it or not, Draco and I have had conversations. I know how much he loves his parents and how much they love him. I may have believed Lucius Malfoy was an evil man who should have been in Azkaban, but I never wanted Draco hurting over him," I told him. The father Draco had spoken of at times was not the wizard I knew of, and so for him, I could separate Lucius Malfoy into two different men when he needed me to. Snape made a sound but did not say anything else on that matter.
"His mother and the Dark Lord believe he is in a Muggle hospital. I don't know what will happen, but I either have to find a way that it appears he dies, or the Dark Lord will demand his return," Snape said, and I actually heard some emotion in his voice. "I don't want to return him, but so far I have found little that can shield him."
"I will help if I can," I told him. He nodded. "Why did you kill Professor Dumbledore?" I blurted out, and the pain was evident in my voice.
"Because he asked me too," he replied at once, his voice echoing the same hurt I was feeling. I knew my eyes were wide in disbelief and shock. "I will go check on Draco now. I do not need an escort," he told me. I nodded this time because I did not want to be near him a moment longer. I sat down on the pool lounge even as I watched him enter my family home. A single thought consumed me as my mind wandered back to Draco again: 'I had hoped he was missing me as much as I was missing him, but how can you miss something you don't remember?'
Author's notes: - Thank you for reading, Bianca Castillo.